


Loona the Apocalypse

by loonagarbage



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Apocalypse, Cameos, Character Death, F/F, Post-Apocalypse, Violence, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 00:27:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 32
Words: 310,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19841716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loonagarbage/pseuds/loonagarbage
Summary: When a deadly viral outbreak sends the city into chaos, twelve girls struggle to survive. Bonds are formed and broken, paths cross and diverge, lives are saved and lost.RATED EXPLICIT FOR- VIOLENCE- POTENTIAL CHARACTER DEATH- GRUESOME IMAGERY- GENERAL SAD STUFF- SOME SEXUALLY EXPLICIT SCENESif something might be especially triggering the chapter will have a warning.





	1. A Soldier's Intervention

**Author's Note:**

> ~comments are greatly appreciated~

**__ **

**_Jung Jinsol is in her senior year of college and struggling through every minute of it. Despite doing well rather naturally, she pushes the boundaries by forgetting due dates and spending time with friends instead of studying. Self-discipline isn’t her strong suit_ **

The internet wasn’t working. My heart was in my throat, I had an assignment due at midnight and it was already eleven. I mean, objectively it was my own fault for waiting so long, but... whatever. I complained to my roommate, who got sick of all my fretting and left, probably to visit her boyfriend down the hall. I’d heard a bunch of shrieks from people outside, but it was Halloweekend, so I dismissed it as mindless partying. I would’ve been a part of it if I’d actually managed my time well, but there I was, holed up in my dorm room on a Friday night just trying to finish something I’d had months to do.

There was a sudden pounding on my door and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.

“Yumi-yahhh, did you _really_ forget your key _again_?” I got to my feet and headed to the door, making sure to look through the peephole to double check--

\--only to see it covered in red. Huh? Why would it be red? Did someone paint over it or something? Was this some kind of Halloween prank?

Whoever was outside kept pounding on my door, over and over again with no clear rhythm.

“Yumi if this is some kind of joke, it’s not funny!” I shouted at her, loud enough so she’d be able to hear. I didn’t hear anything besides the knocking. Over and over.

Something in my gut told me to keep my mouth shut, so I did. Listening to my instincts had gotten me that far in life, why ignore them now? The pounding continued and continued, relentless for a few moments. Then I heard something that at first sounded like a whoop from a sorority girl but then morphed into what I could only describe as a shriek of pure terror. My stomach dropped.

What was that? What had happened? If this was a prank, they must’ve gotten that girl really good. Something about all this... didn’t feel right. I stayed quiet.

Someone further down the hall exclaimed something too muffled for me to make out, and the pounding against my door finally stopped. Rapid, uneven footsteps audibly darted past, I heard another scream, and then nothing. Almost like things had calmed down.

I looked through my peephole again, but could still only see the red. What the hell had just happened?

Taking a deep breath, I slowly opened the door. The hall was empty, and more quiet than I think I’d ever heard it on a Friday night, but that wasn’t my concern. What _was_ my concern was the blood. So much _blood_ , all over the floor, the walls, my door. I could tell from the permeating stench of iron that it wasn’t cheap fake Halloween stuff for a prank. It was real.

I gagged, covering my mouth with my hand. Oh my god. What the fuck?? What had done this?! Was someone hurt? If so, where the hell did they go? I looked around for someone, anyone. My friend Yujin had a room right next to mine, and when I looked, I saw that her door was ajar.

I crept slowly forward, not liking how quiet everything was. There wasn’t a single sound besides occasional sirens from the streets outside, and it was such a jarring difference from all the commotion that’d been out here moments before. The crack in Yujin’s door was just wide enough for me to peek through, and I did - that same feeling in my gut telling me I shouldn’t go in just yet.

There was blood on the floor. Oh. Oh no. I couldn’t help the quiet gasp that left me.

_No no, Yujin please be okay..._ I pushed the door open ever so slightly, peering further in, my worry propelling me forward. The room was empty but an absolute mess. There was more blood, on her sheets, on one of the walls, on her dresser. One of her posters had been partially ripped and the papers she usually kept organized on her desk were scattered haphazardly all over the floor.

Seeing that nobody was there, I dared to take a step inside--

“Jinsol?” A familiar voice spoke at my side and I nearly jumped out of my skin, incredibly relieved to see Yujin peeking out of her closet. Oh thank God.

I surged closer automatically, wrapping her in my arms without much thinking. She stiffened from the contact, not hugging me back in the slightest, and I didn’t understand why.

“What the hell is going on?! What was all that screaming, a-and, what happened in here? Are you--” I pulled back, taking a second to actually look at her, and my heart sank.

Her arm was covered in blood, some of it also splattered on her face and shirt, but I could already tell it was coming from her arm. She was pale, her hole body trembling visibly and her skin looking clammy.

“Shit, Yujin! I-- we need to get you help or something, you--”

She sighed, brushing past me briskly and moving to her desk. A roll of paper towels was in one of the drawers, and I watched in awe as she wiped some of the blood off and away, her back turned to me. She needed to use two, then three towels, and even then it kept coming dripping. I stepped closer, wanting to get a look at the wound, but she gently pushed me away.

“I-I’m fine. Look, we need to get the fuck out of here.” She tied a bandana around her arm as a makeshift, relatively ineffective bandage, taking a deep breath in an effort to steady herself. It didn’t work.

“What the _hell_ did this?” I asked again, desperate for answers, but she was having none of it. She moved to the window and looked out it, down toward the street.

  
“I... I don’t know, it... it was Minju, he just... _attacked_ me, I hid in the closet. I thought he was gonna get in, but someone else screamed and he left.” Minju was her boyfriend. I’d always been a little jealous of him, honestly.

“Attacked you? Why? He did _that_?” I pointed to her now bandaged arm that still dripped trails of blood out from the poorly dressed wound. I was about ready to find Minju and beat his ass myself,but if he was some sort of violent maniac right now that might not be the best idea.

“Yeah, he...” Her eyes got distant. I don’t think she even wanted to say. I wondered if he had a knife or something, not knowing what else would make her bleed this much, “Whatever. There were others like him too, Jinsol. They were... _crazy_ , running and screaming and... _growling_. Some people ran off but he cornered me in here, and... I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but we need to go somewhere. The police, o-or something, I dunno.” She wasn’t waiting for an answer, already picking her backpack up and slinging it onto her shoulders.

I was about to follow her, or maybe protest, ask for more information because I was still so damn confused, but both of us stopped in our tracks from what sounded like automatic rifle fire outside. Rifles?

“What the--?” I moved to her window too, looking at the city street below. There were soldiers there, with _rifles_ , like real, _actual_ guns, _shooting_ people. The people who they shot weren’t stopping though, like they weren’t even scared, just sprinting toward them. What??

“Those are probably soldiers, right? Cops wouldn’t have guns like that. Oh fuck, this is bad, isn’t it?” Yujin whimpered out fearfully. I would’ve comforted her, but hell, I was scared too, “Where should we go?”

“I-I think... we should go to the soldiers.” I told her, watching as one of them shot down six more people. Someone else approached them, waving their arms, and the soldiers rushed forward and surrounded her. That was probably someone asking for help, and it was also probably our best bet. They didn’t shoot her, so they probably wouldn’t shoot us either.

“Soldiers? Y-yeah, they’re probably here to help. Good idea.” Yujin took a shaky breath, heading for the door without another word.

I gently clasped her hand and she stopped, “Hey... are you sure you’re okay?”

“ _No_ I’m not fucking ‘okay,’ Jinsol, I’m scared out of my mind and my boyfriend just took a chunk of skin out of my fucking arm, a-and I-I don’t know what’s going on and I feel like I can’t even breathe--” I reached forward, hugging her tightly against me again because she needed some sort of comfort, to know that someone was there. I didn’t know what was going on either. I probably knew even less than her, but I didn’t care about that, I just wanted to keep her safe. She didn’t hug me back, hiding her face in my shoulder for a second before drawing away, “We don’t have time... c’mon, lets go.”

I stuck to her heels, refusing to release my grip on her hand and not liking the way it trembled. I’d never seen her this shaken before. She led me down the hall, the whole floor seeming dead silent. Bloody handprints scattered the stairwell. One of the windows had been shattered somehow, and the glass crunched beneath our shoes, a chilling autumn breeze blowing in. Yujin was tugged me down the steps with her, stopping at every landing to peer around the corner.

“Do you think there are more in here?” I asked quietly, still not even 100% sure what we were supposed to be hiding from.

She shrugged, “I-I dunno. They’re kind of loud so I think we’d hear them? But with all the gunshots I can’t...” She winced, moving to clutch at her makeshift bandage.

My chest tightened, “We need to get that checked out. Here, let me lead the way, I’ll--” A piercing shriek cut through the silence on the floor we were on, and we both froze. Before we had a chance to wonder, someone burst through the door at our side, rushing down the steps past us. A small trail of blood was left behind him.

“Wha--?” I looked over my shoulder at where he’d come from, only to see that he hadn’t been alone.

What looked like a person but didn’t sound like one had been right on his heels. Its veins were so dark they were nearly black, visible on its face, and blood dripped from its mouth all over its shirt and clothes. Its eyes were milky white and terrifyingly empty, and now they were fixed straight on us. Shit.

Yujin shoved me forward and I nearly stumbled down the steps, “ _Go_.”

I was going. I wasn’t even sure where, but I was just _running_ , taking the steps two at a time. It was right on our tail, I could hear it growling and tripping over itself from how frantic it was. I wanted to look over my shoulder, to make sure Yujin was keeping up, but I was too worried I’d trip, and then... it would get to me. A deep, primal instinct told me to _not_ let that thing get to me, no matter what.

We somehow finally made it to the ground floor, and I burst through the door into our dorm’s lobby, holding it open for Yujin, who wasn’t far behind. She helped me to slam it shut, blocking off that thing, and although it pressed it relentlessly slammed its body against the door, it didn’t touch the handle. Yujin and I were just trying to catch our breath, adrenaline still pumping through me and making my hands shake. But we weren’t safe.

There were two more in the lobby with us. They’d heard us slam that door, and if it had taken us even a second more to notice them, we probably would’ve been done for. Yujin grabbed my arm roughly, pulling me away as the two things charged straight at where we’d been standing with no feasible direction, crashing roughly against the wall in their disarray. It was unsettling how misguided they were, how primitive and driven by nothing besides what seemed like a sort of rage. I let myself be pulled, Yujin quickly rushing out the door and finally onto the street.

It was chaos. Fires had started from cars that had crashed into buildings, soldiers had set up makeshift barricades of armed trucks that they were trying desperately to defend as waves of these creatures rushed them one after another. I stared, stunned as one of them pulled a pin from a grenade and tossed it toward a pack of them. When it went off, the whole ground shook and Yujin stumbled, falling to the sidewalk, her grip on me faltering. I skidded on my heels moving to pick her up, but they’d been right behind us.

One of them slammed straight into me and I staggered, crashing painfully to the pavement. I wanted to take a second to grimace, but I didn’t have time. It was on top of me. I held it back and away with all the strength I had in me as it tried to _bite_ my neck, knowing I couldn’t keep it off for long--

Only for their to be a deafening bang, a flash, and for it to go limp. Something wet had splattered my face and I realized in disgust that it was blood. There was another bang as I struggled to shove this... _corpse_ off of me, sitting up, dazed.

“Hey, get _up_.” An unfamiliar voice spoke behind me, clasping my shoulder not so gently and practically tugging me to my feet.

**__ **

**_Kim Jungeun joined the army as soon as she was old enough, pressured into it by her family. She took on the role rather well, finding herself hardened by her harsh, rigorous training. She misses simpler days and cherishes those she’s close to - loyal to them above all else._ **

A young-looking girl with a blunt, brown bob in army gear toting a heavy-looking rifle had been the one to lift me. After matching my gaze for only a moment, she moved and tugged Yujin to her feet as well. I gravitated toward her, intertwining our fingers together, my heart still beating so hard and fast I could hear it in my ears.

“You okay?” The soldier asked, needing to raise her voice to be heard over all the commotion. Neither of us really responded in any way. I just wasn’t sure how to answer that.

“Private Kim!” A tall, intimidating man who was sitting in the passenger’s side of one of the armored trucks called out, and the soldier’s posture stiffened, spinning on her heel to face him, “Take those survivors to quarantine, ASAP! We need to relocate to the hospital.”

“Sir? This area needs protection, aren’t we supposed to evacuate the--”

“That’s an _order_ , Private!” The other soldiers were already climbing into the car, the engine starting up. This girl’s shoulders started to shake ever so slightly.

Yujin tightened her grip on my fingers, “Quarantine? What does that mean, what’s going on??”

The soldier didn’t bother answering those questions, instead turning back to us and speaking lowly, “You guys go to this college, right?” Her eyes kept darting around our surroundings, looking more than ready to shoot anything that so much as looked at her wrong. I just nodded, finding it hard to talk when my chest was so tight, “Do you know where Gwanak-sa undergrad house is?” Her voice was rushed and frantic.

“Yeah, why?” Yujin spoke up.

  
“I need to find someone.” She reached to a sheath on a complicated looking utility belt, tugging out a sharp, _real_ knife - like for _killing_ \- and placing it into my hand, gently closing my fingers so that I held it loosely, “Here. If one of those things comes at you, use this.” Her gaze flitted to Yujin, who was visibly more shaken than me, and wounded too. I could feel how clammy her skin was, “I’ll try and look out for the both of you, but if I got caught up, look out for this chick.”

I raised an eyebrow, the knife feeling reassuringly weighty in my hands, but I’d never _stabbed_ anything before. Was this even real? “Wait, who’re you looking for? Don’t you have to listen to--”  
  


“--This’ll be a lot easier if you stop asking so many questions and just lead me to the damn building.”

There didn’t seem to be any more time to talk, so I just swallowed hard, fighting back all of my mounting panic, and started to move. The building wasn’t far. In fact, it was right behind ours, we just had to cross a small courtyard. Shouldn’t be a problem. Yujin shifted her grip on me, moving to clutch my arm fully and cling to me with white knuckles. I knew it really wasn’t the time, but it was hard to ignore the butterflies in my stomach from it.

The soldier gently grasped my shoulder, holding me in place and stepping in front of us, “Let me take the front. They’re fast. Things can go to shit real quick.” I just nodded, feeling an urge to literally cower behind this girl and her big gun until everything was okay again, but I also had a suspicion that things weren’t going to just “be okay” for a long time. And that was _so_ scary. Before she stepped forward and fully rounded the corner, she matched my eyes again, “My name’s Jungeun, by the way.”

“I-I’m Jinsol. This is Yujin. Nice to meet you...?” The nicety left me without much thinking, only realizing after the fact that it wasn’t exactly “nice” to meet this girl. These circumstances were far from ideal.

Jungeun raised an eyebrow slightly at that, but decided against teasing me for it. She seemed like the type to usually be relentless in that regard, but now wasn’t the time. She just kept walking, her rifle half-raised, finger hovering by the trigger. There was so much other ambient noise happening around us that it was nearly impossible to discern what was a potential threat to us and what wasn’t.

We got our answer when as soon as we emerged from the small alley into the courtyard, we just saw... so _many_ of them. There must’ve been dozens, walking around semi-aimlessly, growling at each other as if looking for a new target. And we were right there. Jungeun quickly backed up, pushing us back into the alley. We hadn’t been spotted, thank god.

“Fuck, okay, um...” I could see the cogs in her mind turning as she nursed her lower lip between her teeth. Yujin’s grip on me was so tight it almost started to hurt, but I did my best not to flinch. “Which building is it?”

I pointed, it was literally in view. But we’d have to plow through the bulk of the crowd to get there. I had _no_ fucking idea how we’d do this. But Jungeun seemed to know. I watched as she reached toward her belt, unzipping one of the multiple pouches and pulling out what I recognized as a road flare. She set it off and the brightness of it hurt my eyes for a moment, almost not able to see when she ducked out of the alley and hurled it to the other side of the courtyard. I heard shouting and rabid growls from the creatures, but before I could poke my head out to be careful and check the situation, Jungeun had grabbed me by the front of my shirt and I was being pulled along as she sprinted forward.

They were all surrounding where the flare had landed, seeming distracted by the light and hissing sound that it was emitting, but I had a feeling it was just that - a distraction. It wasn’t permanent, but Jungeun was fast. We were almost right at the doors. My body had never been more tense. I shot Yujin a quick glance, and god she didn’t look good. I mean, she was beautiful, but that’s not-- I mean she looked almost ill. Most of the color had been drained out of her skin and she was visibly trembling, her eyes lidded. After we helped Jungeun, it was definitely Yujin’s turn.

“Shit.” Jungeun hissed out lowly between her teeth. She was tugging against the doors, but they weren’t opening. Had they been locked? Fuck. We were right out in the open. If even _one_ of those things decided to turn around, we were done for. Jungeun pulled on the door harder, torn, not wanting to be too loud but clearly wanting to slam her weight against it. Finally, she just groaned to herself, raised the barrel of her rifle toward the glass, and looked at us. “Get ready to run.”

I didn’t have time to protest, because an ear-piercing _bang_ would’ve drowned out my voice anyway. The glass shattered and Jungeun had immediately shoved her arm through the new opening, unlocking the door from the inside and shoving it open. Those things had heard, though. Oh, had they heard.

It was terrifying to see them in a pack. They all moved together, determined but somehow still so rabid. I didn’t let myself look for very long, trying to focus on Jungeun, getting tunnel vision as I stuck to her heels. She was running, sprinting fast through the building, seeming to know where she was going now. She rushed past the door to the stairwell, instead ducking down one of the halls that lead to dorm rooms. This place had been totally sacked too, blood on all the walls, doors busted open, everything eerily abandoned. At this point I was just grateful that we hadn’t busted into a building full of more monsters.

“Where are we--?” Just as I asked, Jungeun had turned on a dime and rammed open a door with her shoulder. Thank god it wasn’t locked. I don’t even want to think about what would’ve happened to us if it had been. She forcibly pulled Yujin and I inside, reaching past us and slamming the door shut. The monsters were throwing themselves against it with all of their strength, but it seemed sturdy. Jungeun didn’t care, taking a precaution and pushing a nearby dresser in front of it with minor difficulty.

Jungeun turned, looking around the room for a second before her face fell, “She’s not here. Fuck. Dunno if I should be relieved or terrified about that.” I just stood there, strangely, in the middle of this random student’s dorm room while Jungeun started to root through a desk, her motions frantic and lacking organization. Yujin released her grip on me, staggering to sit on the bed. I wasn’t sure who needed my focus, but after a mini internal debate, I decided on Jungeun.

“Who’re you looking for? What’s going on??” I demanded, my voice way too shaky to sound even remotely stern.

Jungeun not so subtly rolled her eyes at my prodding, “A friend. This is her room. She’s not here. I-I don’t know where she’d be, but I have to find her.” Her voice wavered, composure and collectedness starting to thin.

I empathized with Jungeun, really I did, even though I didn’t know her that well I could tell that this friend meant a lot to her. She’d almost gotten herself killed and had disobeyed a direct order just to look for her, so she definitely cared. Yujin looked ready to pass out, though, and I had to protect my friend, too. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think we have time for this! We need to get Yujin some help, she’s really hurt!” I gestured toward her, still sitting on the bed.

Jungeun’s face fell further in an instant, and she stopped everything she was doing. She looked back toward Yujin with something unsettling behind her eyes, something I didn’t like seeing.

“What happened to her? Was she bitten?” I couldn’t read her tone, but it was low and decisive. Her grip on her rifle shifted.

“Yes...” I muttered, answering it as if automatically. Yujin’s eyes were almost fully closed, her head lolling on her neck. The area around her bandage was starting to look discolored.

Jungeun raised her rifle and aimed it straight at her.

On instinct I lunged forward, standing in the line of fire and down the barrel of that gun. My stomach dropped into my shoes, but I tried to stand my ground, “What’re you doing?!”

Jungeun gestured with the rifle’s barrel for me to move, staring down the sights. I shook my head. “Out of the way.” Her voice was deadset. She wasn’t kidding. I couldn’t believe this.

“N-no, you can’t shoot her!” The sound of those things still slamming themselves against the door just made all of this infinitely more stressful.

Jungeun rolled her eyes, “She’s _infected_ , you idiot!” She reached forward and shoved me forcefully aside, the motion seemingly more rough than she intended because her eyes flitted to me in wordless apology.

What? Infected? Like, the wound was infected? Or...?

“What do you mean?” I asked, fearing the answer. Yujin seemed totally tuned out of this conversation, despite her life literally being on the line.

Jungeun’s grip on her rifle was starting to shake, “When those things bite you, you’re infected. And you turn into one. She’s bit, so if we don’t do something about it then we’re gonna be _trapped_ in here with one of ‘em!” Her finger edged closer toward the trigger.

“ _Wait,”_ I stood in the line of fire again, “Don’t, I-I, she’s my friend, you can’t just...” It felt like I was lying when I said that. I didn’t like to admit it, but she felt like more to me than a “friend.”

I didn’t know what to do. Yujin looked... not good. Was she really going to turn into one of those things? So inhuman and rabid they forgot who they were? My eyes were starting to sting. God, I _didn’t_ know what to _do_. I wasn’t ready to lose her, god, just the day before we’d gotten lunch together and fell asleep watching movies. Now all of this was happening and I just wasn’t ready.

Jungeun was wavering. Not for the same reasons as me, but she saw the way I trembled. She saw my glossy eyes and my quivering lip, and she empathized. I knew she did. During the tense, lingering silence, I took a slight step to the side - trusting her not to act.

So when she pulled the trigger, I was stunned.

Yujin fell back, not making a sound. Without even noticing, I’d screamed, and clamped a hand over my mouth right afterward. My legs couldn’t hold me up anymore and I crumpled to the floor.

She was dead.


	2. Between a Rock and a Hard Place

_Meanwhile, somewhere else in the city..._

**_Kim Hyunjin is a rising fighter in the MMA scene who only really cares about two things: her career, and her girlfriend Heejin. She is stubborn, determined, and headstrong. She can also throw quite a punch. She tends to hold grudges and doesn’t forget when she feels wronged._ **

One day, I was gonna move out of that godawful city. I was so sick of all the bustle and noise. Everyone was standoffish and rude more often than not. It always smelt weird. I felt like I could never relax, but this was where most of my fights were. This was where my fancy gym was, where my trainers lived, where I could get sponsorships and all that garbage. I knew that, but it was just such a drag.

Two cop cars, an ambulance, and a fire truck all sped past on the road, sirens blaring, and I grimaced. Ugh. Coming to Heejin’s work was as close to a break as I was getting these days. I wasn’t complaining - every second I got to spend with her felt like a vacation. I just wished this crummy restaurant wasn’t so close to downtown.

A mug of dark coffee was slid smoothly across the counter in my direction, “Here ya go. You’re lucky it’s not busy. You can pretend to look at the menu, and I can pretend to wipe the counter down, but really I’ll just be staring at you.” Heejin feigned a gasp at the sheer scandal of her suggestion, and I couldn’t help but smile.

**_Jeon Heejin is a waitress and part-time student struggling just to make ends meet. She met her girlfriend Hyunjin during one of her shifts and fell head over heels instantly. Heejin is quick thinking and resourceful, aspiring to finish school and get out of the city one day._ **

“Really living life on the edge, huh?” Two more ambulances sped by. A few people on the street stared after them. Probably a nasty car accident or something. Gotta love living in the city.

Heejin sighed happily, leaning toward me as she rested her head on her hand, “So.”

I mimicked her, “So.”

“When’s your next day off?” Her eyes sparkled and the small little smile she still wore was making my heart swell. Was I whipped? Yeah. So what? My life was hectic. I was busy a lot and hard to pin down, but Heejin didn’t care. She was patient, she’d come to all my fights, she’d swap her shifts around so she could even come to my practices sometimes. I was her priority, and she was mine, and we both knew that.

“Hmm... I dunno, actually. I have that big fight next week and Jaehyuk wants me training basically every minute. If he’s not careful I’m gonna ‘accidentally’ miss that punching bag and break his nose.” I mainly said that just to get a giggle out of her, which I did.

“It _would_ be nice to see his nose broken.” She added on. Wow, she really had my heart.

Someone came in through the door at our side, the bell above it jingling to signal his entry. It was some guy in a suit, but he was walking funny and his head was dipped low. He collapsed into the nearest chair, clumsily, propping himself up against the wall. His breathing was ragged and aubdile over the quiet jazz playing.

Heejin raised an eyebrow, mouthing the word “drunk” to me and winking adorably. She smoothed out her apron and straightened her posture, putting on her customer-service grin and walking over to him. I just stared, liking to watch her work. She pulled a small notepad from her pocket and got ready to write, the routine natural and engrained in her movements.

“Hello sir, what can I get you tonight?” He was hunched vaguely over the menu on the table, as if reading it, but he said nothing. He was sort of twitchy. This was a weird kind of drunk. I spun on the stool I sat in, fully facing this conversation. Another ambulance passed by outside. “Sir? Are you alright?” He grunted roughly, waving her off. She shot me a subtle look before saying politely, “Okay, just let me know when you’re ready to order.” With that she walked back to me, short heels clacking ever so slightly against the linoleum.

“What’s his deal?” I muttered to her quietly.

She shrugged, seeming unbothered, “Dunno. Just some prick. _God_ I can’t wait to get out of this job and--” Her daydreaming was cut off by someone slamming suddenly into the window. We both jumped in surprise, she even yelped slightly.

Some guy from outside had thrown himself against it, _covered_ in _blood_. It was muffled, but we could hear him yelling. What the hell? I got to my feet. He looked... scared, almost? But also not well in the slightest. His eyes were wide and full of absolute panic, staring at us in fear. Weirdly, the guy who had come in seemed totally unbothered by this. For some reason I felt rooted to the spot.

Out of nowhere, someone else came charging at him from down the street and tackled him out of view. Heejin gasped, moving to rush toward the door, but I held my arm out in front of her.

“What?! Hyunjin-ah, we have to help him!” I listened a bit closer and could vaguely make out what he was screaming. He was asking for help, sounding absolutely desperate.

I just held my arm in place more firmly, stepping to be slightly in front of her as well. We shouldn’t go out there. We didn’t know what was going on, and in only a matter of seconds that guy’s pleas for help had morphed into what I can only describe as shrieks of agony. Heejin took a step back, covering her mouth with a dainty hand. She was starting to tremble.

“I-I...” Her voice was weak. I turned my full attention toward her, not liking the fear so blatantly behind her eyes, “We should’ve helped him. Why didn’t we help him, we could’ve--” She didn’t even have a chance to finish that question, because in the next moment, I heard the jingling of that bell.

The... _thing_ that had tackled that guy had burst into the restaurant. Oh. Oh no. I don’t even want to call it a person because it just... _wasn’t_. Its mouth was dripping blood that clearly wasn’t its own. Had it _eaten_ that guy? Wait, wha-- what the fuck?! It looked so _angry_.

“Heejin, _move_.” I stepped to be fully in front of her right as it charged straight for me. I stood my ground, bracing myself, but even with all my training, the brute force that slammed into my stance almost made me falter. I stood still somehow, pushing on this _thing_ by its shoulders. It was _gnashing_ at me with it’s teeth, inches from my face, some of the fresh blood dripping onto my sleeve. I sneered, pushing as hard as I could to get this thing _out_ and to hopefully block the door, steadily gaining ground against it--

\--only to hear Heejin scream from over my shoulder.

My head turned toward her so frantically I almost sprained my neck, only to see the “drunk” guy who’d come in rushing right at her. She’d staggered in surprise and fallen to the floor, and he was looming over her, twitching. _No_.

I shoved as hard as I could, the thing that was on me hitting the wall but not falling entirely over. I cursed under my breath, rushing toward the guy still coming at Heejin and tackling it to the floor. It wasn’t the most graceful move, and I landed with it in a crumpled heap. It turned its focus right onto me in an instant. Unfortunately it’d come out on top, so it had me pinned beneath its weight.

“H-Hyunjin! I-I--” I hated hearing her so distraught. She didn’t know what to do. I didn’t either, but shit, I could use some help.

“Get up!! Quick! Get a fucking knife from the kitchen or something, I dunno!!” I knew only one chef was back there and just prayed that he’d be able to protect her, because I was too caught up.

She nodded and staggered to her feet, a scrape visible on her knee that made me so incredibly protective I felt like I was gonna explode, “Okay just-- wait just a second and I-- _ah!_ ” The other thing I’d only temporarily incapacitated was back on its feet, and it vaulted over the counter in an instant, about to corner Heejin all over again. _No_.

“GET IN THE KITCHEN.” I shouted, needing to snap her out of the paralyzed state of fear I could tell she was about to fall into. Adrenaline was pumping through me like blood. I needed to get this thing _off_ of me.

I raised both of my knees as a last-ditch effort, slamming them into its back and making it slide off of me, face-planting the floor. If it had been normal, if it’d been a _person_ , that would’ve slowed it down, but it barely even registered it, getting to its feet as quickly as I did. I didn’t have a weapon. There wasn’t anything near enough for me to grab. All I could think to do was pull my fist back and _punch_ it as hard as I could. It staggered, falling again, and before it could contort itself back into a standing position, I was already there, my foot stomping down hard on its neck. There was an unsettling snap, and it went limp. Jesus Christ. What the _fuck_ had I just killed?

That didn’t matter. When I looked around, the other thing wasn’t there anymore. Shit, where had it gone?? There was suddenly a loud _crash_ from the kitchen. Something had fallen, and it had been heavy enough to shake the whole place. Heejin screamed again.

I rushed toward the door and pressed myself against it, but it wouldn’t budge. No. No no _no_.

“Heejin!! What’s blocking this??!” I shouted, desperate for an answer. She didn’t say anything, but I could hear a struggle. My chest was so tight I couldn’t breathe, heart beating four times as fast. I was panicking. I shoved as hard as I could, using every single ounce of my strength, but I only got the door to open a sliver of a crack.

Heejin was in there, fending off the thing with a knife that she held with two, shaky hands. _That’s not how you hold a knife Heejin!!_ I thought desperately to myself, wanting nothing more than to barge in there and cleave that thing to death for making her so scared. I couldn’t get in. I looked around, trying to find the chef who was supposed to be there, but couldn’t see him. Heejin’s eyes flitted to me. I needed to get _in there._

A fridge was blocking the door. A _fridge._ That damn thing must’ve knocked it over somehow in all the commotion - the whole kitchen was a disaster.

“Heejin, can you move this?!” I shouted at her, right as the thing lunged in her direction. My next breath got caught in my throat, hating that I just had to _watch_ this. She ducked out of the way instead of fighting. Good girl. Smart. I watched as she rushed to the door, thin, frail arms trying desperately to get the fridge to budge even the slightest bit, but it wouldn’t. The thing was already closing in on her again, but her back was turned. “ _Watch out!”_

She didn’t have a chance to duck that time, only barely managing to spin around and hold out her arms in an attempt to keep its teeth from sinking straight into her shoulder. _No no NO._ If _I_ was hardly strong enough to keep one of those things off of me, how the hell was she going to??

I pressed against the door as hard as I could. I _needed_ it open, I _had_ to get in there. It wouldn’t move. Not another inch, “I can’t move it!!” I told her, my voice starting to shake.

“Hyunjin-ah, help me!!” My heart wrenched.

“I-I can’t move it!!” I remembered something out of the blue, “Hold on, I’ll go around the back!!” I didn’t wait for a response, knowing she probably couldn’t give one, and rushed outside.

It was utter chaos. It seemed like everything had gone to hell out here just as it had for us inside. There was screaming and gunshots and explosions and blood, I’d never seen such total pandemonium. People were being chased and I couldn’t tell which were actual _people_ and which were one of those things. Cars sped by with no direction, slamming into whatever got in their way. For a second I couldn’t help but stand and stare.

A cop car came peeling around the corner, sirens blaring, swerving left and right haphazardly. Right as I was about to duck inside the small alley that held the back entrance, it veered off the road and crashed straight into the neighboring gas station. And it blew the _fuck_ _up_ _._

The explosion knocked me off my feet, almost sending me flying. I fell hard onto the pavement, scraping my skin as shrapnel and debris started falling from the sky, a fire already breaking out from all the gasoline. I coughed, the wind having been knocked out of me from that impact, quickly sitting up. I didn’t have time for this. I didn’t have time for _any_ of this, but the fire was already starting to spread. Shit. Shit shit _shit_.

I’d told her I’d be by the back entrance, so that was what I was gonna do. I didn’t care that a telephone pole had been knocked over from the explosion and that it’d fallen onto the roof of the restaurant, a chunk of the ceiling caving in, or that it had also caught fire. All I cared about was that Heejin was still in there.

I tried to rush toward the entrance to that alley, but was cut off. Two of those things had already been there. Shit. One of them was even pounding against the back door, thankfully not seeming able to figure out how to work the handle. As soon as it noticed me, though, it totally forgot about that door. They both rushed straight at me, in a frantic mess like before. Shit. I didn’t have _time._

I punched the first one as hard as I could, sending it sprawling, but it wasn’t dead. I wasn’t _quite_ strong enough to punch things to death. The second one rammed into me and I staggered, barely getting my footing. I needed something, _anything_ hard to just bash these things’ faces in. My gaze briefly flitted back to the restaurant. The fire started from that damn pole was starting to spread. Heejin needed _help_.

One of the windows from the restaurant had been busted open from the impact of the explosion, and jagged shards of glass were scattered all over the sidewalk. Those would have to do. Ignoring the way it cut into my palm, I picked one of them up, gripping it tightly. The next time one of them charged me, I held it back by the shoulder and shoved the shard as hard as I could right under its jaw. Its gross, milky white eyes went blank and it fell hard to the ground, the shard still lodged in its head. I didn’t have anything to fend the other one off as it tried to knock me off my feet again by plowing straight into me. I didn’t have _time_ for this. Struggling to keep its gnashing teeth from me with just one arm, I reached down and fumbled aimlessly until I found another shard, gripping it tightly and thrusting it straight into its forehead. Fuck my hand hurt.

No time. Heejin.

I shoved its limp corpse to the pavement and rushed forward, ducking beneath that pole and finally getting into the alley. The fire had spread while I’d fended those things off, and the ceiling had caved in way worse than I’d thought. Sparks from the fire and loose wires kept falling from above me and singing my skin but I didn’t care. There was a small window, really just there as a poor excuse for proper ventilation (despite being currently closed). I stood on my tip-toes and peered through it. I couldn’t see Heejin from this angle, but I saw the hole in the ceiling and the fire that had practically engulfed the kitchen. _Fuck_.

I rushed to the big, rusty door and grabbed the handle, but it singed my skin and the open wound on my palm. I couldn’t help but wince, the handle was burning hot. I thought back to all the fire safety lectures I’d sat through in my school days. That usually meant there was a fire behind the door.

“Heejin?!” I called out to her. The telephone pole creaked above me, shifting and falling further into the roof. A wire came loose and dangled right next to me, sparking wildly. I didn’t hear a thing.

The window was shut. Why the _fuck_ would you shut a window used for ventilation?! It was just out of my reach, and I never noticed just how small it was until I tried to think of fitting through it. Maybe I could manage it. Just maybe. I reached up and gingerly touched the glass. That was hot, too, but when I pressed against it, it budged ever so slightly. Smoke started to flood out from the gap I’d created. I curled my fingers around the sill and tried desperately to hoist myself up, struggling to get a foothold on the wall. Just when I managed to get a bit of leverage, I realized bitterly that it was just too small. I wouldn’t fit. Now wasn’t the time to get my ass stuck in a tiny window. Fuck.

I took a deep breath, my whole body trembling as I cupped my hands around my mouth for amplification and shouted as loud as I could, “HEEJIN?!”

I heard sounds of screaming. It wasn’t hers, and it wasn’t coming from the restaurant. A random guy - not a monster - was sprinting toward me. Three of those things were on his tail. We met eyes for just a second, and I wondered if maybe he’d be able to help me, but instead he grabbed my shoulders roughly and shoved me right in their path. Great.

There was a wrench on the ground by the door, like someone had tried to fix its lousy hinges at some point. It hurt my hands to clutch it as tightly as I did, but my body was pumping with so much adrenaline it was basically numb. The first one rushed me and I struck the side of its head as hard as I could, the crunching sound its skull made disgusting to hear. I heard the slightest sound from inside that wasn’t the crackling of flames or the crumbling of a concrete roof, and my ears pricked up.

“HEEJIN?” I couldn’t help but shout again, desperate just to hear her voice, catch a glimpse of her. But I got distracted.

The other two both slammed into me simultaneously with full force, and I fell flat. Shit.

One lunged for my neck, its weight pinning me down, the other clammorring to try and get at my legs. Shit shit _shit._ All I could manage to do was shove my wrench in between the gnashing teeth so close to my throat. It bit down, as if not knowing the difference between my skin it seemed to want so bad and a piece of rusty metal. I pushed it off as best as I could, shoving it to the side, but it was replaced by the other, just as rabid as the first. I struggled to sit upright and it dove at my chest, teeth sinking into the front of my jacket and ripping out a chunk of the leather. I kicked it off me, staggering to my feet. I heard something from inside still but I couldn’t make out what it was. They’d be on me again in a second, and I’d lost my wrench.

I didn’t even have time to think before one was right in front of me. I brought my fist back and punched it, _hard_. It staggered, stunned for a few seconds, but came right back. The other one was on me too. I shoved it away as best as I could, That wrench was on the ground now, but it was past them. I needed it. One tried to grab me and I barely ducked out of the way, maneuvering as best as I could to slink between them. One of them grabbed the back of my jacket with strong fingers, but I just squirmed my way out of it, finally reaching forward and getting that damn wrench again. As soon as it was in my hands, I spun, bringing it straight down onto one of their heads as hard as I could. Its skull broke just like the last and I grimaced from the blood that splattered my now bare forearms, but that was one less. There was still another. The pole above my head shifted again, falling further into the restaurant. I heard the faintest sound of a voice. It was so tiny I almost wondered if I’d imagined it. But what if that was her? Maybe I could still get in there somehow. Maybe I could get her out.

I didn’t care that this monster was about to charge at me, I called out to her again, “ _HEEJIN?! PLEASE, SAY SOMETHING!_ ” There was nothing. Silence. I felt like I was about to cry, the panic in my chest more intense than anything I’d ever experienced before.

The thing finally closed the space, pinning me against the wall of the alley, and I didn’t get a chance to swing at it. I held it away from me, desperately, still just listening for a _sound_.

Finally, there was something.

“Hyunjin--? Wha--?” My heart skipped a beat. It was her. She was in there. I could barely hear her over the flames and the chaos, but that was her, I knew her voice anywhere.

“Heejin!! Just wait, I-I’ll get you out!” I made that promise, but deep down I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to keep it. I was starting to hear rabid growls from the street. It sounded like there were more of these things, and I’d barely survived three. If they spotted me, or heard me, I was done for.

“No, n-no, just... just get out of here! It’s not safe!” Her small voice was still almost inaudible. Was she serious?

“What? I’m not leaving without you!” A surge of desperate strength coursed through me and I shoved as hard as I could, the monster falling onto it’s back. It was on its feet in seconds. God these things didn’t let up.

“Hyunjin for _once_ listen to me and just _go_!” My heart just _hurt_. I... I wanted to do what she said, because she sounded so desperate, but I didn’t want to leave her. I doubted I even could. Right as my lips parted to say something, anything, there were more and more rabid growls. They must’ve heard all our shouting. Two, then three, then four rounded the corner and were heading straight for me. Shit.

“I-I’ll find you! Okay?! When you get out, meet me at u-um, at your place! Okay??” She didn’t say anything but I could vaguely hear her struggling. I wanted to help. Every single nerve in my body was screaming at me to not even care about the monsters about to rush me, and to just _get_ _to_ **_her_**.

But I needed to go.

I rushed off down the alley, the things right on my tail. I’d had a lot of tough fights in my life, but leaving Heejin in that restaurant was the hardest thing I’d ever done.


	3. Scout's Honor

_Meanwhile, in another part of the city..._

**_Choi Yerim is the head of her local Girl Scout troop and has never been more proud of anything in her life. From starting campfires to good sportsmanship, she wears her earned badges with pride. She’s optimistic and loves to cheer people up, even at inopportune times._ **

“Alright everyone, sit down please~~!” I called out in my official-leader voice to let everyone know I was serious. They all knew recognized it and stopped their chatting, sitting down at the desks in this small, out of the way conference room. I always liked this spot for our weekly meetings, it felt like a classroom, and it was fun to pretend I was a teacher. I didn’t have a chalkboard, which was sad, but I had a white board and a bucket full of colorful markers and that was more than enough for me!

“Yerim-unnie!!” Hyunae called out from the back of the room, raising her hand and waving it around. I nodded at her with a smile, “Can you change the color for my name, _please_?!” She pointed frantically at the whiteboard over my shoulder. We were keeping track of who had gotten the most donations during the recent fundraiser. Hyunae was a recent addition, just having aged up to be in our troop, and I already liked her! I mean... I guess I liked everyone, but she was fitting in really nice!

I’d been with this troop for two years now, and had been its leader for one. I was about to age out, too, and I was honestly counting the days bitterly. I didn’t want to leave! I mean, I was trying to look at it as an exciting new stage of my life, but still - I’d miss all the girls. I could only hope that they’d get put into the same troop as me again when they aged out.

Hyunae’s name was written in brown. Okay, valid, that wasn’t the best color, but I’d already used all the rest of the colors for the other girls. “Hyunae, I’m sorry! That was the only one left.” I frowned at her, empathizing.

Eunyoung’s hand shot up, “We can swap colors! I don’t mind.” She was orange. Wow, orange was a good color, that was really considerate of her!

I reached into my stuffed backpack in an instant, sorting through the large pouch inside of it that held all the badges. After a brief search, in which all the girls were politely silent, I found the one I was looking for and marched right up to Eunyoung, “You definitely earned this!”

“Oooo, what is that?!” Hyunae asked, leaning forward and over her desk so far she almost tipped it over.

“The ‘Sharing is Caring badge!’” I pinned it gently to Eunyoung’s sash as she smiled brightly at me.

Hayoon adjusted the glasses on the bridge of her nose, “Troop leader - that’s not in the handbook of badges.” She always felt the need to say that. I admired how thorough she was, but it honestly wasn’t necessary.

“I know! It’s one of the ones I made!” I headed back to the whiteboard, swapping the appropriate colors. I loved the scouts, but sometimes the troop-sanctioned badges seemed impersonal and bland to me, so for my troop I made my own! It wasn’t hard, I just had to buy blank pins and draw my own designs on them. It was fun, and it made all the girls really happy, so why not do it?

There was a knock on the door, in that specific rhythm that our supervisor Kyungmi always used. I straightened my posture, saluting as she came in, which she suppressed a smile at, “You don’t have to do that, Yerim.” She sat at a desk in the back, clipboard in hand.

“I know! But I like to!” We really had to focus. This fundraiser was only part one, we had another bake sale scheduled for Monday and if we didn’t get our things in order, it’d be a mess! A fun, cookie-filled mess, but a mess nonetheless! And I wouldn’t have that on my watch! “Alright, so who’s available to--”

My words were cut off by a loud, jarring noise from the hallway. It sort of sounded like shattering glass. Uh oh, had someone dropped something? What was even glass in the recreation center, though, besides windows? 

Kyungmi got to her feet, her brows knitted together, “Hmm. I’m gonna go see what that was. You can keep going Yerim, I’ll just be a minute.”

I knew Kyungmi said to keep going, but... I dunno. I felt like I shouldn’t, at least not until she came back. I walked toward the door she’d left through and propped it open with a doorstop, poking my head out. I could hear the collective scraping of chairs as the other girls tried to stand up and look too, but I wordlessly held up my hand to tell them they shouldn’t, and they listened.

Kyungmi was at the end of the hall, looking at something out of my view around the corner. She looked concerned. “Sir?” I vaguely heard her speak, her voice echoing down toward us. I didn’t see any signs of the glass that had broken. I took a small step into the hall, and she noticed me in her peripheral vision, gesturing for me to go back into the room. I didn’t - probably the first time I’d disobeyed something she’d told me.

If something had happened to the man she was talking to, I wanted to help. I knew some first aid, maybe I could lend a hand? Girl scout law code #3: a girl scout takes the initiative in helping others. I should go out and help her.

Right when I took another step into the hall, I heard more shattering glass. It made me jump sightly in surprise, the girls gasping too. Kyungmi flinched, but she was too far away for me to see her face clearly. Instead of saying anything else to the man I still couldn’t see, she turned on her heel and started coming back toward us in a full _run_. It only took me a second to realize why - people were chasing her. What for? I was so confused. The people chasing her looked... off. They had blood on their clothes, like they’d gotten hurt, but they were sprinting without seeming to care in the slightest. I saw as they got closer that there were pieces of glass stuck in their faces and arms. God, it looked like they’d jumped through a window! I blinked hard. Oh. Maybe they _had_.

There were a lot of them. I’d counted six by the time Kyungmi got to me, dove back inside the room, tugged me along with her and slammed the door shut. She was breathing hard, seeming terrified, and I was starting to feel that way too.

“What’s going on?!” Hyunae blurted out, fear audible in the way her voice shook. No, I didn’t want anybody to be scared. I was supposed to keep them safe - that was my role as the leader. And I knew Kyungmi felt the same way, only with me included in that sentiment. We’d be fine. I didn’t know what was going on either, but we’d be fine. I’d make sure of it.

Kyungmi opened her mouth to respond, but froze when suddenly those people from the hall reached the door. They started to throw themselves against it, pressing their weight into the flimsy wood. This building was old and not in the best condition, the door included. Now I could really look at them through the small window built into the door, and... I don’t wanna sound mean, but they looked... _not_ okay.

Some of them had blood in their mouths, leaking through their clenched teeth, and there wasn’t any color in their eyes - not even a pupil anymore. That... wasn’t normal. You were supposed to _have_ pupils. My chest got all tight. Why were they trying to get to us? What did they want? What even _were_ they? I had so many questions, but I was scared to ask them. I was these girls’ leader, I was supposed to know what to do, but in this case? I didn’t. But I also didn’t want to throw them into panic by accident, so I had to be put together. Cool and collected. I took a deep, deliberate breath.

Kyungmi reacted before I could, pressing her back against the door to give it extra support, “Girls, I-I... um,” I could see how hard she was thinking, racking her brain for an idea of what we should do, and secretly I was relying on her. I think she could see it in my eyes, “We’re gonna get to the gym. Okay? The doors there, they’re stronger than this one, and they lock.” She pointed to the other side of the room, to the other exit that these people-- or-- _things_ , I guess, hadn’t noticed. The gym was a few halls over, we’d been there before. “We’ll use that door okay? And just... run.”

“Who are those people? Kyungmi-unnie, why’re they trying to get in here?” Hayoon asked, clutching her sash with white knuckles. The girls had gotten up and out of their seats by that point, all huddling together.

Kyungmi sighed, seeming frustrated, “I-I don’t know! But I think they want to hurt us. Don’t let them touch you...” Her eyes met mine, her gaze intense and serious, “Yerim, don’t let them get anybody. Okay?” My heart was racing. It was up to me. Just me and her - it was our job to take care of these girls. Kyungmi wouldn’t lead us astray. Girl scout law code #1 - a girl scout’s honor is to be trusted.

I herded the girls to the other side of the room, all of them following close, still mumbling hushed questions to one another that nobody had the answers to. I still didn’t know what was happening, but I just knew we weren’t safe, and that was _not_ allowed. Not on my watch. We hovered, waiting for Kyungmi, who still pressed against the door as hard as she could. She wasn’t superman, though, and I could practically see the wood bending against all of the force on the other side. I met her eyes, and she nodded slowly.

“Wait, girls, you go first. I’ll be in the back, okay?” I told them, my voice quaking ever so slightly. They listened, like they always did. Kyungmi looked at me again, and then everything was moving.

She rushed toward us and the door she’d been blocking was instantly thrown open, those things clamoring into the room in an absolute chaotic heap, knocking over desks and bumping into each other. Whatever had happened to them, they definitely weren’t people anymore. People didn’t move like that, people didn’t... _growl_ like that.

Kyungmi rushed toward us, and I practically shoved this cluster of terrified girls out the door. They ran as fast as they could with me still taking up the rear, but they weren’t being fast enough. I knew this wasn’t fast enough. Kyungmi rushed past us, her legs longer, trying to lead the way and get to the gym first. We’d gotten a bit of a head start, but it wasn’t enough.

At first I thought we might make it, but as we were rushing through one of the halls, there were more of the _things_ outside on the street. They saw us, and instead of trying to find a way in, they _made_ their _own_ way in by plowing straight into the windows. It only took five or six slamming their weight against the old glass to shatter through it, and now there were even more.

We could see the gym. It wasn’t far. We could make it, I knew we could. We had to. Kyungmi got there first, shoving the door open and holding it that way. I rushed forward, helping her to hold it and looking back. Everyone was accounted for. We still had a headstart somehow. Or at least, we almost did.

Hyunae tripped, wiping out _hard_ , falling straight onto shattered glass. She tried to catch herself with her hands but just made it worse, the glass digging into her palms. The monsters rounded the corner, still pretty far back. She’d messed up her ankle or something, I could tell from the way it twisted.

I couldn’t leave her. There was no way. Not when she was staring up at me with glossy eyes, looking so absolutely _terrified_. It was my job to protect her. To lead her, and I’d told her to go. If anything else happened to her, it was my fault.

I rushed forward, vaguely feeling Kyungmi swipe at my back as if to stop me from doing so, but I wouldn’t. Girl Scout Law Code #4 - a girl scout is a sister to all. Hyunae was my sister, even if she was new, and I wasn’t going to just stand by and let her get any more hurt than she already was.

“Can you walk?!” I asked her frantically, grabbing her arm as I started to tug her to her feet. She was shaking so hard, her palms bloody and her legs all scraped up. She just nodded, on the verge of tears, but she was still going so _slow_. I didn’t want to push her, not wanting her to get any more hurt than she already was, but there wasn’t time for this. She limped toward Kyungmi, who grabbed her firmly as soon as she was in reach and helped her into the gym.

But I couldn’t quite catch up. I felt the back of my sash grabbed by an abnormally strong hand, and I was pulled so hard I lost my footing on all the glass. I fell _hard_ to the floor, the wind getting knocked out of me. One of the monsters was about to pin me down, but in the next second Kyungmi was there. She wasn’t nearly as strong as that thing had been, but she caught it off guard enough to shove it ever so slightly away. I was stunned, and more scared than I’d ever been, but when she quickly extended her hand down to me, on pure instinct alone I was able to grab it. She pulled me to my feet and I just ran. I didn’t think, I ran.

I got to the gym in a few short strides, already turning around to check on Kyungmi--

\--but she wasn’t as lucky.

One of those things had grabbed her. She tried to break out of the grasp, but another caught up and added onto the resistance. Oh no.

I had to help, I had to. I started to move but she shook her head firmly. I froze. Was she serious...? More and more of the things were rushing toward her, a few more latching on. One of them _bit_ her, its teeth sinking into her neck. I couldn’t look away. My eyes were wide and my jaw had dropped. There was... _so_ much _blood_ , I...

The rest of the monsters didn’t seem to care about her anymore, and they instead were running straight for us.

I reached forward and shut the heavy double doors, sliding down the metal latch that sturdily locked it. The sound of them pounding relentlessly against it echoed eerily through the gym. It felt like I couldn’t breathe.

“Yerim-unnie? I-is she okay?” Eunyoung asked me, her voice nothing more than a timid whisper. She reached and clutched my arm, probably feeling how hard I was shaking. It felt like I was gonna be sick.

“I...” It was just me now. Just me, to take care of these girls. I didn’t know if I could do it, but they were depending on me. I was the leader. But more than anything I felt like curling up on the floor and crying. I knew Kyungmi. I’d known her for years. She’d even been my troop leader once. I still wore quite a few badges on my sash that she’d given me herself, with a bright smile and warm eyes. And... I was pretty sure I’d just watched her die.

“Unnie...?” Someone else asked me, but it sounded like I was underwater.

We were wasting time. Something was going on, something bigger than this, than us, and what had just happened. Girl Scout Law Code #9 - a girl scout makes good use of her time and avoids wastefulness. We needed to get up. We needed to get help. The backs of my legs started to sting once some of my adrenaline had worn off - they’d gotten embedded with glass.

“I-I tried to run--” Hyunae spoke quietly from behind me, and I turned to face her. Her eyes were wide, staring at the door, tears starting to stream down her cheeks, “I-I really tried to run b-but I fell and if I didn’t fall then--”

“--No.” I moved to her, wiping the tears from her cheeks and forcing her eyes to meet mine. “Don’t think like that. You didn’t mean to. You were doing your best, I know you were. Right? What’s Girl Scout Law Code #2?”

Hyunae sniffled, holding her trembling hands out in front of her. Her palms were bloody and filled with small shards of glass. My question seemed to ground her to reality a bit, and that was all I could hope to do at this point. “A-a girl scout does her best...”

“Yes. You did your best. That’s all you could’ve done.” It felt like I was telling myself that as much as I was telling her. It wasn’t quite sinking in, though. If I’d been faster. If I’d gotten up by myself, and hadn’t needed her help, Kyungmi could’ve gotten out of reach. She could’ve been in here with us.

I blinked hard. There was no time to think like that right now. I needed to get these girls somewhere safe. And somewhere safe was _not_ this gym.

There were windows, up by the bleachers. They seemed just out of reach, but I knew that they led out to the flat roof of the rec center. Maybe... maybe we could find a way down from there? Or flag down a helicopter? Or something? At the very least it’d be a bit of a vantage point away from all this chaos, just so we could see what was going on. There was a back door just for emergencies that led out to the street, but I had a feeling it wouldn’t be best to go out there. That’s where all those monsters had come from in the first place, and the absolute last thing we needed was to encounter any more of those right now.

I took a deep breath, looking around the room. There was a storage closet for all the athletic equipment. When I headed for it, all the girls followed me in a giant cluster that stuck to my heels. Normally I would’ve thought that was sweet, but now? It just felt... sad. They didn’t know what else to do, so they were relying on me. But I barely knew what to do either. The sounds of those things outside pounding against the door was starting to echo inside my head.

The storage room had a bunch of stuff. There were basketballs, rackets, bats, you name it. Bats. Oh. That might be helpful. “Girls, get those.” I pointed toward them and they surged closer like a hivemind, scooping them up into their dainty hands. There were only a few, and without me needing to intervene, the two eldest were handed them: Eunyoung and Sanghee. The third and last one, they handed to me. It felt... reassuring to hold the weight of it in my hands.

That wasn’t what I’d been looking for, though. There was a rope, a long, sturdy one we’d use sometimes for tug of war toward the far end of the closet. Good. I’d thought it’d be there, but with the luck we’d been having I wouldn’t have been surprised if it was missing for some reason. I made my way over and gathered it into my arms with some difficulty, one of the other girls holding my bat for me as I did so. They all followed me in that same cluster as I walked toward the bleachers and headed up to the top. The window was still just out of reach, thankfully already open.

“Okay, um...” I set the rope down, needing both of my hands, “Sanghee, boost me up.” She nodded, meshing her fingers together and crouching down. I stepped lightly onto her palms and she pushed upward, propelling me enough for my fingers to wrap around the sill. It took some squirming and struggling, but I hoisted myself up and onto the roof. It was cold out here and sort of damp.

I reached over the edge and one of them tossed up that rope. “Hold on, gimme a sec...” I scanned the roof, noticing a large metal duct that must’ve been used for ventilation. It looked pretty solid. I tied the rope around it as best as I could with one of the sturdiest knots I could remember learning, “Okay! Come up!” Even though the support from the duct was strong enough on its own, I made sure to hang onto that rope with white knuckles for extra leverage.

The girls all started to pull themselves up, one by one. Even Hyunae, with her damaged, cut up palms somehow managed to grip onto that rope, but she did go up last, and the others helped her as best as they could. We looked out for each other. That was just how a troop worked.

Once we were all up and safe and accounted for, I let myself look out at the city.

It was... I barely even recognized it. High-rises I used to stare at in awe had caught fire. Police sirens could be heard from all over, as well as screams and explosions and gunshots and just... _disaster_. This went way beyond us. Way beyond this recreation center - no, this was the _entire_ city. Oh my god. My chest was so tight. What about my family? What about all these girls’ families?

It was still up to me to protect them, until we could get somewhere safe. I looked down the street, at the hospital I knew was closeby. I’d volunteered there once for a summer. Hyunae needed help, and objectively I could use some patching up too. I lifted the bat back into my hands, Sanghee having tossed them up before she’d climbed the rope.

I’d get them to that damn hospital, or I’d die trying.


	4. Emergency Response

_Meanwhile, at one of the city’s hospitals..._

**_Jo Haseul is a recent nursing school graduate only just starting to work full time. She joined the line of work because she wanted to help people and be a nurturing presence in times of distress. Haseul is caring and thoughtful, often putting everyone else far before herself._ **

I’d never seen the hospital so busy. It was only my second week of full shifts, and the ER was absolutely packed. I was supposed to be working in the ICU, nurses were being called down just to help with all the intake. From what I was hearing from the loudspeakers, more and more people were flooding in with no signs of letting up. I kept hearing the word “bite” being frantically muttered by rushing nurses and doctors who brushed past me in the halls as I made my way to the ER. Weird.

My phone buzzed in the pocket of my scrubs, and although I wasn’t supposed to check it during my shift, I was getting sort of worried. Ducking into a storage closet, I quickly snuck a peak.

_Yeojin_ 💪😤: _ayy, can you come get me from practice? They decided to tell me it was cancelled *after* i already got dropped off ansnnmdnsmd_

Huh. Also sort of weird. Yeojin’s band teacher was intense about practice, why would it be cancelled? And so short notice? Well, I was a bit busy, so I couldn’t get her.

_No dummy I’m working. Get mom or dad to get you~_

I stepped back into the hall, a strangely frantic doctor rushing past me. He had blood on his smock.

_Yeojin_ 💪😤 : _they won’t answer their phones_

What? That didn’t make sense. Dad always had his phone, he got calls from work constantly so he couldn’t afford to be away from it. Something was... wrong.

I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I _was_ sure that I didn’t like the thought of Yeojin being alone. My warning bells and big-sister instincts were firing on absolutely all cylinders. Another announcement came through the loudspeaker, calling security to the ER. Security? What for? As if on cue, a few police officers rushed past me, one of them accidentally bumping my shoulder and apologizing on the way. They rounded the corner swiftly, tugging their batons from their belts.

Maybe... maybe I should see what was going on? I knew I had to go get Yeojin, I just knew I did, but the nearest exit was also out through the ER right now. Feeling a bit reassured by the new presence of security, I started to head that way--

\--But stopped dead in my tracks at a sudden _shriek_. I’d never heard someone sound so scared before. What was happening? I started to pick up my pace, feeling an intense compulsion to help that person if I could, only to be almost plowed straight into by some girl.

Her eyes were wide and her whole body was shaking so violently I was surprised she was even able to stand. A bat was held in her small, white knuckled fists, the top of it splattered with blood. She wore a girl scout uniform, of all things, and although it somehow made her look incredibly innocent, there was a... _trauma_ behind her eyes that demanded all of my attention in an instant.

“Oh my god, are you okay?!” My nurse instincts melded with my motherly ones and I quickly scanned her for injuries. What was exposed of her arms were also splattered with blood, but I didn’t see any wounds there. As for her legs, there were several scrapes, some cuts deeper than others, and it looked like something was stuck in them. Those would get infected. I had to help her.

She just shook her head ever so slightly, “I-I-I--” I looked from where she’d ran from, wondering what had happened, but she suddenly clung to my arm with a vice grip, shaking her head more firmly, as if she didn’t want me to see, “No--” She stumbled slightly, like merely standing was too difficult. I didn’t even care what was going on anymore, I just wanted to help her. She looked barely older than Yeojin.

“Come here.” I tugged her along with me, sensing an impending danger even if I wasn’t sure what it was, and brought her into the supply closet. Before I had a chance to she’d already slammed the door, pressing her back against it and sinking to the floor. She let her bat clatter to the tile, staring down at her hands that I only now noticed were also stained with blood. I wondered if it was hers, and if it wasn’t, whose it had been.

She wasn’t up for talking. I could infer that. Instead I told her in the softest, gentlest tone I could manage, “I’m going to clean you up... your legs look hurt.” Her gaze flitted to me for a brief moment, still not saying a word. I grabbed some iodine swabs from the shelf, moving to gently start cleaning the cuts on her calves. She winced slightly, flinching. “Sorry honey, it’s gonna sting a bit. But now these won’t get infected. Alright?” She nodded, not reacting any further to the contact as I tried to treat her, “Do you think you can tell me what’s going on out there...?” My question was cautious. I didn’t want to push. She seemed incredibly rattled. Like she’d seen things a girl her age should never have to see.

For a solid minute, she stayed silent. She stared at her hands, at the blood still there. I finished cleaning up her legs, finding some tiny chunks of glass in the wounds and easily removing them. What had happened to her...? Just as I grabbed some gauze to keep the cuts protected, she spoke in a voice so tiny and timid it made my heart ache.

“M-my troop.”

“What?”

She blinked twice, sniffling, “M-my girl scout troop, they’re... I...”

Oh, she had a whole troop with her? I felt my chest tightening at the thought of a bunch of other unattended young girls being just as petrified as this one. “What happened to them? Can I help?”

Her eyes only got more and more glossy, but it didn’t seem like she was about to cry. “I-I-I... no... they tried to...” She pointed shakily to her skirt, and I looked at it more closely. It was ripped up. As if by sharp nails. What, had her troop done that to her? “T-they aren’t themselves.” That was frustratingly vague, but I had a feeling she wasn’t up to being any more descriptive.

I pried lightly. I just needed to know what was happening, that was all. “What do you mean?”

  
She started to wring her hands, as if trying to get the blood off of them. I reached for some basic hand sanitizer and gave her some, watching as she used it so frantically she may’ve chafed her own skin. “They’re... they attacked me... everyone’s attacking each other, I-I don’t... why did she try to bite me?” The question was asked so quietly I think she was questioning herself more than me. I certainly didn’t have the answer.

“Hey, shh... it’s okay.” I dared to reach forward, clasping both of her trembling hands to stop her frantic motions, and she finally met my eyes, “Look... just stick with me. I don’t know what’s going on, but I need to get my sister.” Whatever was happening, it wasn’t safe. Yeojin wasn’t safe. I wasn’t going to leave this girl though - there wasn’t even a chance of that.

She blinked hard, running her now clean palm down her face and taking a deep, trembling breath. And then she smiled. It was faint, but it was there. “A girl scout smiles under all difficulties...”

“Huh?” I watched as she got to her feet, still not quite sturdy. I was ready to support her if necessary.

“Girl Scout Law Code #8.”

I wasn’t sure where that came from, but if it was helping her to cope, I wasn’t going to question it. “... Right.”

I cautiously stepped back into the hall, noticing that she lifted that bat back into her shaky hands and clung to it like a lifeline. It seemed like just in that short little reprieve, things had gotten more chaotic. People rushed past in clusters, sprinting, tripping over themselves, splattered with blood and clutching at wounds. This was bad. Worse than I thought, probably. I needed to get to Yeojin. My car was in the lot.

“I know a way out.” I told her, “Stay close, okay?” She nodded.

I walked, brisk and quick, peering around every corner before turning it. Doctors rushed toward the ER and more and more officers came, drawing pistols now instead of batons. There was a constant stream of people. We had to stick to the wall so we wouldn’t get separated. At some point I felt her clutch the back of my scrubs, and I stopped in my tracks, looking at her in concern.

“What’s your name?” She asked me softly.

I pulled her closer and kept us walking, not wanting to stay still. “I’m Haseul. What’s your name?” She hadn’t released her grip on my scrubs. I could feel how hard she held onto me, and I didn’t bother shrugging her off.

“Yerim.” She edged closer, accidentally stepping on the back of my shoe, “--Sorry, I-I... it’s nice to meet you. Haseul’s a pretty name.” A woman rushing by staggered, bumping into us and causing her grip on me to falter. It was back in an instant, bunching up a handful of my scrub and probably wrinkling it.

“Keep close.” I told her softly again. We had to go past the hall that led to the ER, and she clung to me even harder when we were nearly there. I didn’t look, despite sort of wanting to, remembering the way she’d prevented me from seeing earlier. I didn’t want to get rattled or distracted. There wasn’t time for that. Yeojin needed me, and now I could tell Yerim did too.

I didn’t look, but I heard. I heard screaming, more and more like the shriek from earlier - just pure _terror_ , and I heard what I could only call growling. Rabid growling. The ear-piercing sound of what I knew must’ve been a gunshot finally rattled me and I ducked as if on instinct. Yerim yelped quietly and her grip on the bat fumbled, falling to the floor. She scrambled to pick it up, still shaking intensely.

I couldn’t help but look, I had to. And I shouldn’t have, god, I shouldn’t have. People were... _attacking_ each other, just like Yerim had said. People pinned others to the ground and were... _biting_ them, taking out chunks of their flesh as they squirmed and screamed and tried so desperately just to break themselves free. A girl in a uniform like Yerim’s was hunched over in the corner, twitching, surrounded by blood and corpses. Oh my god.

Yerim pushed me, “Go, _please_.” I knew I should’ve, but... I just stared. I watched as a nurse, someone who’d wished me a “good first day” earlier on in the week, got tackled by a man in a business suit. He bit her neck, then her shoulder, and she writhed, and I wanted to help. But I had a creeping feeling I wouldn’t be able to do much of anything.

“Haseul _move_.” Yerim shoved me again and I realized why. We’d gotten spotted. By a short, young-looking girl in a girl scout uniform with dead eyes and blood dripping from her mouth. We had to run.

I took the lead. The crowd was thinning out. Everyone was rushing to the front exit or the ER exit, nobody thought of the emergency one. The only reason I probably even remembered it was because of the tour I’d just gotten a few days before. Everyone else had been here too long without needing to know where it was. I guess being new was lucky for once.

I could hear that the girl was right on our heels. She was growling and she was so _fast_. I rounded the corner, staggering slightly, holding onto Yerim’s arm to make sure she could keep up. The exit was right there, right at the end of the hall. I just wanted to _get there_ , to get out, but I was too frantic. I tripped, and I fell hard onto the hospital tile face first. I spun onto my back, quick, trying to get up, but that girl was on me in an instant. She’d pinned me down, and I could already tell I wouldn’t be strong enough to keep her off me for long.

“H-Hyunae!!” Yerim blurted out, her voice breaking, “Get off her! Please, g-get off her!” I looked up at the poor girl, tears starting to stream down her cheeks. She still held that bat with both hands, but I doubted her ability to swing it. Especially at this girl. The way she’d said her name - she knew her.

Her desperate plea got this girl-- this _thing’s_ attention. She leapt off me and straight toward Yerim, who only had enough strength in her to dodge slightly out of the way. She hit a wall, holding that bat in front of her like it was a pipe cleaner, not a weapon.

I got to my feet as frantically as I could, but before I had a chance to help, Yerim pulled that bat back and brought it down hard on the side of the girl’s skull. I froze, eyes going wide. I hadn’t expected that. The girl, Hyunae, I suppose, collapsed. She wasn’t dead. She was still moving. Twitching. Yerim hadn’t hit her quite hard enough, but she’d incapacitated her. We could get away.

“Come on!” I told her, moving toward the exit again. Her grip on the bat faltered, her lip quivering and those tears still streaming down her cheeks. I scooped it back up, knowing we’d probably need it, and tugged her out the door.

An alarm started to blare. I’d expected it but Yerim hadn’t, and she flinched, feeling weak in my arms. We were outside now. I shut the door behind us, not wanting Hyunae to catch up, and rushed to the car.

_Please don’t let there be any more, please._ We were in no condition to be attacked again, not when Yerim had already let out a broken sob. I could see my car. I reached into my pocket, fumbling for my keys. I realized I’d have to walk Yerim to the passenger’s seat, so I did, and opened the door for her. She ducked inside, burying her face into her hands. I rushed to the drivers side and started the engine. The blaring alarm I’d set off made my ears ring. The noise was drawing more of them in from the street. I just prayed they didn’t see us.

“Here,” I set the bat down onto her lap but she didn’t even address it, “Yerim, put your seatbelt on.” She didn’t move. She just kept crying. My lips parted to ask her again, but instead I just sighed, reaching over and doing it for her.

They’d swarmed the parking lot. Dozens of them, an endless stream, all rushing toward the exit where the alarm was coming from.They hadn’t quite noticed us. It wasn’t a straight shot to the road, there were some in the way. I didn’t... want to hit them. Right? That was dangerous. But if I didn’t, they’d see us. They’d hear my engine. They could probably break my windows and get in, and then we’d be done for. No. I wasn’t letting anyone hurt Yerim.

“Hold onto something...” I told her, just silently praying that my car would be able to handle this impact. She actually looked up for a moment, confused, but listened nonetheless. Her dainty, trembling hand tightly gripped onto the roof’s handle.

I floored it, my tires screeching. The car lurched forward - _fast_ \- and it slammed straight into one of them. It went sprawling over my windshield, a small crack forming in the top corner. I gripped the steering wheel tightly, trying not to panic, turning sharply onto the road. There was another, and I hit that one too. It bounced off the hood, making a dent in the metal, falling hard onto the pavement. My heart was beating so fast I could hear it in my ears. I couldn’t believe I’d just done that. Why was my only thought that if dad saw that dent on my car, he’d make me go get it fixed first thing in the morning?

That didn’t matter. Yeojin’s school was toward the outskirts of the city. Probably a ten minute drive, without this chaos all over the streets. I just took a deep breath and pressed my foot further down onto the gas pedal. I could get there in five.

***

I screeched to a stop in the loop the buses went through. It was empty, since it was after hours. The chaos had died down a bit the further I got from the center of downtown. We’d had a lot of close calls along the way. A truck had almost slammed straight into us, and if Yerim hadn’t pointed it out to me, my tunnel-vision might’ve gotten us killed. The school seemed abandoned. All the lights were off and there were only a few scattered cars in the parking lot. My heart was in my throat.

“Yerim, wait here.” I told her gently. She was just staring out the cracked windshield, her face strangely blank. She’d stopped crying at some point, and now her eyes were simply red around the rims. If I wasn’t in such a rush, I would’ve sat with her and held her in my arms for as long as she needed, but I had no idea if Yeojin was okay or not. It felt like I couldn’t breathe.

I rushed outside. Whenever Yeojin waited to be picked up, she went to this certain bench by the side of the school. I ran there, my chest getting tighter and tighter with each step I took. What would I do if she wasn’t there? What would I do if I couldn’t find her? What would I do if she was hurt at all, if she was...?

I rounded the corner, holding my breath--

\--and she was just sitting there. On her phone. With her big tuba case that was half the size of her body propped up on the bench next to her like a person.

**_Yeojin is Haseul’s younger sister, and a bit of a mess. Her parents forced her to start playing the flute for some necessary structure in her life, but she refused and insisted on playing tuba because it’s “the funny one.” Yeojin has a hard time focusing and being serious._ **

“Haseul? What the hell’re you doing here, I thought you were--” I closed the space between us and trapped her in my arms, hugging her so tight I may’ve crushed her bones. She grumbled in mild discomfort, “--working?”

“Thank god,” I muttered, squeezing her for good measure, “Thank _god_.”

She was trying to squirm away but I wouldn’t let her. I wasn’t done. “Let me _go_ , ew. What’re you doing, weirdo?” She was thoroughly unamused with me. She really had no idea what was going on. It must not’ve spread this far yet. But it was only a matter of time. We needed to figure out what we were going to do.

I let her go, still looking her up and down to make sure she was okay. There were no bruises or scrapes. She did have some chocolate on her cheek for some reason, which I reached up and wiped away. She cringed from the contact. “Have you heard from mom or dad?”

“No, why’re you being so weird? Take me home I have homework to not do.” She started to walk off without giving me so much as another glance. I followed her, stunned, wanting more than anything to be as casual as she was being, but I obviously couldn’t. She rounded the corner and spotted my car, “Whoaaa! What the-- did you get in an accident or something?” For a second I thought she sounded concerned, but when she turned on her heel and smiled devilishly at me I knew she wasn’t. “You’re gonna get _so_ in _trouble_ , _please_ tell dad about it while I’m in the room.”

“Yeojin.” I caught up to her when she reached the car, trying to get a word in, but that was hard to do with her.

“Who’s this chick?! Haseul did you kidnap a girl scout?! Oh! Oh my god. Can we ransom her off for cookies? How illegal is that, on a scale of 1-10--”

“ _Yeojin_.” She stopped, noticing how serious my face was. “That’s Yerim. She’s hurt. And we just... there’s... something’s going on. Things aren’t okay.”

She scoffed, “That’s incredibly vague.”

She wasn’t wrong. “Well-- I-- I barely know what’s happening!” I groaned in frustration, “Whatever! We need to get home, find mom and dad. Get in.” I moved, opening the back door for her, and she looked at me indignantly.

“Really? _Back seat_? C’mon, I’m the sister, don’t I get shotgun? Make her get in back!” She stomped her foot childishly. Yerim looked at us with a raised eyebrow, listening in.

“No. And leave your tuba here, I don’t think you’ll need it for a while.”

She gasped, “Leave _Jim?!_ Excuse me, Jim and I have been through a lot together, what, you expect me to leave him on the side of the _curb_ like some kind of two-bit _whore_?!”

Yerim stifled laughter. I can’t believe she was laughing, she’d just been on the verge of another breakdown.

“Wh--?” I paused, “Where the hell did you learn to talk like that?!!”

She didn’t answer my question, instead glaring at me. Was she serious?

“I--” I didn’t offer enough resistance, apparently, because Yeojin reached past me and threw the front door open. She gently clasped Yerim’s hand and I saw her blush slightly from the unexpected contact as she was tugged outside.

“Jim goes in the front or I’m not getting in this car.” Yeojin was telling me, not asking me. I... god I was so tired at this point, I didn’t even care. Sighing, I reached and lifted the cumbersome instrument, setting it down in the front as Yerim and Yeojin got into the back together.

I got in and started the car, “Seat belts - on.” It was instinct for me to say that. Yeojin often forgot. I didn’t start to drive until I heard two buckles click.

“Are we going home? I have leftovers in the fridge and they’re mine. Don’t eat them.” I looked in the rearview mirror at her. She was staring out the window, humming to herself.

Yerim was still a bit shaky, “Um... h-hi. I’m Yerim.” She extended her hand to my stupid little sister, who just looked at it for a while before shaking it with both of hers vigorously.

“Whaddup, I’m Yeojin, I’m 16 and I never learned how to fuckin’ read.”

I... I couldn’t believe this. Yerim just giggled ever so slightly again. Despite the handshake being done, Yeojin still held onto her hand.

“Haseul, so what’s going on? Can you be a _little_ more descriptive?” She asked as I pulled back onto a main road. I tried to focus on driving, but it was sort of hard with a tuba in my peripheral vision.

I wondered how to word it, but surprisingly, Yerim spoke up before I had the chance, “Something’s turning people... different. Making them attack everybody and bite them. One of my... my friends, one of the things bit her, and then... she turned into one too.” I was amazed she was able to talk about this so openly so soon. She was surprisingly resilient.

Instead of being confused or even startled, Yeojin just nodded. Almost as if she’d expected it. “I see. So zombies, huh?”   
  
I flinched. What? Zombies? Yerim seemed confused by the question too. “Zombies...?”

Yeojin scoffed, “Yes, zombies. What are you guys, uncultured? Where were you in 2016?” By that point I’d re-entered the city - the hectic, nearly destroyed city overwhelmed by chaos. People did their best to avoid the road that was crowded with speeding cars, but I definitely saw someone get hit. I wished I hadn’t, but I had. Yeojin nodded again, only mildly affected by our surroundings, “Yep this is definitely zombie stuff. Okay not gonna lie it’s scarier in real life than it is in movies and stuff. There, I said it.”

Yerim nodded in agreement, “It’s really scary.”

“Are you okay? Your legs are all bandage-y.” Yeojin asked. I vaguely heard Yerim wince, and immediately knew that Yeojin had reached down to poke at the gauze because she was a literal idiot.

“I’m okay. Haseul helped me.”

“Yeah. She does that.” I took a different route to get home, praying it’d be less crowded, and the all-observant Yeojin of course noticed, “Ummm, Haseul why are we going this weird way?”

“Why do you ask so many questions?” I sped up, just wanting to get there. Now that I knew Yeojin was safe, all of my old fear and stress had just translated to my parents. I had my own apartment, so I didn’t see them as much as I’d like. Now I was worried I never would again.

“Wow you’re _speeding_. This is _serious_ , huh? I should call the police.” Yeojin teased me. Yerim seemed to take her seriously, looking concerned, and Yeojin made sure to whisper under her breath in an effort for me not to hear, “I’m kidding. I just like to annoy her.” Yerim nodded in understanding, smiling slightly.

It took a few minutes of silence to get into our neighborhood. It was more suburban than the rest of the area and it was weirdly quiet. There were still some signs of disarray. Trash cans were knocked over, cars were haphazardly parked on lawns.

“Ah! Haseul!!! Mr. Min’s house is on fire!!” Yeojin exclaimed. Mr. Min was our neighbor down the street. He had a nice garden. We drove past and it was absolutely engulfed. Oh no. I hoped he’d gotten out. “Haseul!! He had a _dog_!! This is **_absolutely unacceptable_**.” She was incredibly angry.

I’d been too distracted by the blaze to pay attention to the road, and when something passed in front of my car I barely had time to slam hard onto my brakes. Everyone lurched forward, Yeojin’s head actually hitting the back of the passenger’s seat. Ji-- Yeojin’s tuba went _flying_ , slamming into and out the windshield from the propulsion. Shit.

“JIM!!” Yeojin was already out of the car, unfazed by hitting her head. Was she serious?? “HASEUL YOU DIDN’T PUT HIS SEATBELT ON?? I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’VE DONE THIS.”

I groaned in frustration, grabbing the bat that was on the floor and rushing outside. Yerim followed, shaky and cautious. I’d stopped for what I realized from the growling was one of those things, but it had been sheer instinct. If I’d known it was a monster I would’ve plowed right over it. Yeojin didn’t notice it, rushing toward her stupid tuba.

“Yeojin watch out!!” She finally turned to look, her eyes changing once she actually spotted one of them up close. It was focusing on her and I couldn’t blame it, she’d made quite a scene.

I was there - though. I wouldn’t let it get to her. I slammed the bat as hard as I could onto it’s back and it was caught off guard, falling flat onto the ground. Yeojin picked up her tuba and got to her feet, putting some distance between herself and the threat - a surprisingly smart reaction. Before it had time to get up, I brought the bat down again. And again, and _again,_ until I heard its spine crack. It didn’t move. God. I’d really just killed one. I’d killed something that used to be a person.

“Haseul that was the coolest you’ve ever been.” Yeojin told me, genuine awe audible in her tone. I just struggled to catch my breath. 

Our house was down the street, I could see it, and at this point my expectations were so low I was just relieved to see that it wasn’t in flames. I looked back at the car. The windshield was totally shattered. Maybe we shouldn’t use it anymore. My mind conjured an image of one of those things pulling Yeojin or Yerim out through that shattered windshield and I got chills. Nope. I’d only resort to that car if we didn’t have any other choice.

“Come on, guys.” I told them, still holding onto that bat with white knuckles. They followed me. I heard the wheels of Yeojin’s stupid tuba case being dragged against the pavement behind her. Ugh. Whatever.

We went up the steps, the vague sounds of far away sirens and the roaring fire of Mr. Min’s house creating an eerie, unfamiliar atmosphere to a place that normally would’ve made me comfortably nostalgic. The door was unlocked. And ajar. Oh no.

I pushed it open, “Mom? Dad?!” I couldn’t help the way my voice raised. Yerim gently clasped my arm and I looked at her, reading the warning expressed in her eyes. Oh. Maybe I shouldn’t be yelling. She was right. Too late now, I guess.

Yeojin pushed her way inside and started to make a beeline up the stairs, “Brb.” Yes, she said “brb,” not “be right back.”

“Wait, Yeojin! Stay close, it might not be safe.” I told her, making my voice stern enough to know I was serious. She just rolled her eyes, but actually listened. Shocking.

Yerim poked her head inside, looking toward the living room. It was empty. The coffee table was knocked over. I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Yerim just took a trembling breath, “U-um, do you think I could sit down? Would that be safe?”

She just needed to collect herself. It looked okay in there. I shut the front door, locking it with the deadbolt, “Sure. Just... call if you see anything okay? I won’t go upstairs without you, either.” She nodded, moving to sit on the couch. She tugged her knees to her chest, curling up into a sort of ball.

I tugged Yeojin with me into the kitchen, Yerim needed time alone.

“You need to _stop_ being so... _you_.” I told her in a harsh whisper, not wanting Yerim to overhear. “That poor girl had to bash her friend’s head in like, twenty minutes ago. You do _not_ introduce yourself to her with a vine reference, my _god_.”

Yeojin stuck her tongue out at me, “Well _sorry_. She looked like she was about to cry, so I tried to make her laugh instead. And it _worked_ , so you’re welcome??” She shook herself from my loose grasp. I just ignored her. It wasn’t the time.

Instead, I reached into my pocket for my phone, and called Dad. I brought my phone to my ear, but stopped when I heard a ringing from inside the house. It was coming from upstairs. My heart was in my throat. Uh oh.

“Yerim, we’re going upstairs!” I called out to her, realizing I’d only given her like two seconds to herself, but not wanting to leave her unsupervised. She was on her feet in an instant, at my heels as I quickly headed up the steps, following the ringing. Yeojin was with us.

It came from my parents’ room. The door was open. Some picture frames in the hall had been knocked over to the floor. It felt like I couldn’t move. I just stared, listening to the phone ring out, until his voicemail message came through on my end. I missed his voice. I didn’t want this to be the last time I heard it, through a recording telling me to leave a message at the tone.

Yeojin didn’t even say anything. Which was unheard of. She reached and gently clasped my hand. Taking a deep breath, I hung up the phone.

“Dad...? Are you here?” I waited, but heard nothing. I took a step forward. Then another. It took so much effort. I was just... so _scared_ of what I’d see.

Finally, I poked my head through the doorway.

The bed was a mess. The sheets had been thrown off of it. There was blood. A lot of blood. Some was smeared on the wall, dragged down to the floor. The window was open, a chilling breeze blowing through it. There was nobody there, though. The house was totally empty.

“They aren’t here.” Yeojin stated matter-of-factly. “Dad forgot his phone, I guess? Must’ve been in a rush.” It was on his nightstand. She was trying to be nonchalant. Like this didn’t affect her, but I knew it did, I could read her more than she thought.

“Where do you think they’d go...?” Yerim asked gently.

I just sighed, “I-I dunno, but we can’t stay here. Mom’s car was in the driveway, we can use that. I had spare keys in my old room, somewhere.” I moved, heading toward it. They still followed me closely, which I appreciated.

They separated a bit once we got into my room. Yerim started to wander, just looking around, while I searched for wherever the hell I put those keys ages ago.

“Who’s this...?” Yerim asked, pointing to a picture frame on my desk. Oh. I really should’ve gotten rid of that.

I opened my mouth to respond, not wanting Yeojin to get the chance to, but I was too late. “Her ex.” Yerim blushed deeply, as if she’d crossed a line, when she absolutely hadn’t. Yeojin was, though, and I had a feeling she wasn’t done. “Before you ask, no - she’s not over her.”

“Shut _up_.” I scolded her between clenched teeth. I _was_ over her. I... _was_. It’d been a year. Of course I was over her, we were friends now.

Wait. Shit. Oh my god, how had I not thought of her? My stomach dropped into my shoes.

“Yeojin, we need to get to her. Fuck.” I searched faster, frantically, finally unearthing the keys from beneath my bed. I rushed back downstairs, taking the steps two at a time, unfiltered panic flooding my senses.

Yeojin tripped down the steps slightly, still lugging the tuba behind her, “Wait-- aren’t we supposed to be looking for mom and dad?” I stopped in my tracks. She was right, for once.

I thought for a few long seconds before blurting something out, “We don’t know where they are, but I know where she is, so we’ll go to her first.” She didn’t protest. It wasn’t like she had any better ideas, she never really did.

Mom’s car was old and not in the best shape. She’d had it since we were little kids. It was a minivan, so I felt like driving it would just further solidify my role as a true “mom friend.” I hopped in, buckling my seat belt and telling them to do the same again. Yeojin put Jim in the front a second time and made sure to buckle the belt, staring daggers at me the whole way through.

She hopped into the back seat, “I’m in me mum’s car.”

Goddamn it. I thought, yaknow, because of the circumstances, that she’d decide _not_ to say that just this _once,_ but I should’ve known better. I shut my eyes, starting to get a headache, “Yeojin... _why_ do you say that _every_ single time we get into this car?”

She didn’t miss a beat. “Broom broom.” A throbbing pain formed behind my eyes.

I really needed to focus this time - no more sudden braking, even if Jim was buckled up now, I didn’t feel at ease. Yerim took a deep breath as I started the engine, pulling out of the driveway. “Um, Haseul, where’ll your girlfriend be?”

I flinched and Yeojin let out a hearty chuckle, “She’s _not_... we broke up.”

“Oh-- right, I’m sorry.” She wouldn’t meet my eyes.

“Don’t apologize.” Yeojin told her firmly.

“Girl Scout Law Code #5.” Yerim muttered that, as if reminding herself of it.

“What?” Yeojin hadn’t heard any of that yet.

“I... a girl scout is courteous and kind.” She started to wring her hands again. Although Yeojin was practically infuriating me, the longer Yerim was around her, the more the pain and sadness behind her eyes was subdued. If Yeojin was good for anything, it was distracting people.

Yeojin’s eyes narrowed slowly. “... are the girl scouts a cult? I didn’t know they were a cult, can I join? How do I join?”

Yerim just looked confused, “No? We’re just a-- we’re-- do you actually want to join?” She seemed a bit at a loss, which was warranted.

“Yeojin, leave her alone. Vivi’s at her place, it isn’t far.” I tried not to speed too much, but I was so stressed. I... I wouldn’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t find her - if she was also missing like mom and dad. I just... needed to see her.

Yeojin whined in annoyance, “Her place as in the science lab?” That was a good point. Vivi practically lived at her work.

“No. She had the day off today, we... we were supposed to get lunch but I had to work.” My chest tightened even further. What if I never got to see her again, because I took that extra shift to make rent in time? God, I’d deal with another lecture from my landlord if it just meant I got to _see_ her.

Yeojin scoffed, “Wow, now _that’s_ a role reversal.”

I ignored that comment despite its frustrating accuracy. We were almost there.

It was bittersweet to go back. I hadn’t gone since Vivi broke things off, I’d had no real reason to. Yeah we were friends now, but we didn’t see each other too often. That... tended to be on my part. I dunno. I guess it... still kinda hurt to see her. I hated when Yeojin was right, but when she’d told Yerim I wasn’t over her, maybe that... had some truth to it.

Ugh. Not the time.

Vivi’s apartment building was in the middle of the city, so getting there was far from easy. No more accidents, thankfully, and I didn’t run any more of those things over, but we had enough close calls for a lifetime. Yeojin would just go “whoaa!” whenever one of them would happen and kept encouraging me, goading me on to “just run the zombies over.” I wasn’t sure how well this minivan would withstand that, so I didn’t want to put it to the test.

This building normally had a doorman, but he was nowhere to be found. Vivi’s apartment was on the seventh floor, and on pure instinct and routine, I went to the elevator, barely stopping myself short. Yeojin didn’t think, though, and called it anyway. I slapped her hand away when it pushed the button and she feigned genuine injury.

“Ow!! What the hell?” She gasped. Yerim looked at me with slight disdain, as if Yeojin was actually hurt.

“No elevators. Did you not happen to notice all the fires and explosions on the way here?! The last thing we should do is get inside some rickety metal box of death.” The stairwell was right next to us, “Come on. Stairs.”

“Staiiiiiirrrs??” Yeojin whined, frowning and slumping her shoulders. “Jim _hates_ stairs! And so do I!” She pouted

Yerim crouched down suddenly, “Here! Get on my back.” I stared in awe. What? This girl had only just met Yeojin, and she’d been nothing but a walking vine reference. She did _not_ deserve this sweetness.

Yeojin was stunned too, trying to hide it, “Um, okay!” She handed Jim to me and I took him-- _it_ , still clutching the bat tightly with one hand. I watched as my sister complied with the charitable piggyback, holding the door to the stairwell open for the two but making sure to still lead the way.

I didn’t like how quiet the building was. It wasn’t void of signs of struggle - the lobby had some shell casings scattered around and some blood here and there, but no monsters. I paused at every floor, listening intently for noise. On the third one, I did hear a few growls. Okay - third floor, unsafe. I made a mental note.

My thighs started to burn from all these damn _stairs_. Yerim was struggling ever so slightly, but was doing her best not to show it. At some point Yeojin made sure to speak up, her loud voice echoing through the stairwell, “Why’re you transporting me? I can’t pay you. I don’t have any money. Maybe Haseul could pay you-- Haseul! Do you have any cash? Can you pay the fare?”

Yerim just chuckled, shifting Yeojin’s weight slightly so she’d have a better grip on her, “Hush, you don’t have to pay me!” I rolled my eyes and just kept us going.

“This is suspicious. What are your ulterior motives? Are you going to use offers of piggyback rides as leverage against me? Are you trying to encourage my laziness so I won’t be able to run away from zombies because I’m too lethargic?” I couldn’t tell if she was just being, well, Yeojin, or if she was actually starting to get paranoid about our situation.

Either way, Yerim was ready to refute her, “No! I have 0 ulterior motives. Girl Scout Law Code #10 - A girl scout is pure in thought, in words and in deeds!” This whole “girl scout law” thing seemed to be pretty recurring. I wondered if it actually helped her to recite them all the time like that. If those weird rules were why she was so nice, hell, I wasn’t gonna complain.

We got to Vivi’s floor. My heart was in my throat, chest tight. Before I opened the door, I listened. Silence. I opened the door a crack, poking my head through. Still silence. Yerim set Yeojin down. My arm hurt from lugging Jim up all those steps. Yeojin took it from my grasp, thankfully. I stepped into the hall, the others following close behind.

Some apartment doors were open, scenes of disarray and bloody mess visible inside them. Some were shut, some had been barricaded from the outside. Vivi’s was at the end of the hall, right next to those elevators. I picked up the pace and felt Yerim cling to my arm unexpectedly. Now that I had both hands free, I held the bat more firmly, more than ready to swing at the first thing that looked at me wrong.

We got to Vivi’s door. I stood outside it, not sure if I should knock. I remembered when I’d gone there on our first date, with a bunch of flowers I’d gotten, then I’d thrown them away in the lobby cuz I thought I was coming on too strong. That felt like forever ago. Like another life, almost.

“Uhh, are you gonna knock?” Yeojin asked quietly, surprisingly taking the hint and not making excessive noise.

“Right...” I reached forward, bringing my knuckle gently down on the wood twice. Nothing. I held my breath. _Please. Please be here._ I knocked again. Nothing. I knocked harder, more firmly, the sound carrying down the hall. _Please._ I clenched my fists tightly, not wanting the girls to see how dreadfully worried I was. I was terrified. I... I _needed_ her to be here.

“Hello? Who’s there? If you’re infected kindly go away!” It was her. It was so _good_ to hear her voice again. My heart fluttered. Like it always did.

“I-It’s Haseul.” My voice trembled, starting to second guess myself, second guess _all_ of this. Maybe she didn’t want to see me. Near-death situations like this tended to bring out the honesty in people. Maybe she wouldn’t let me in.

“Wh--? Haseul?!” The sound of various locks being undone and something being pushed out of the way could be heard from inside, and the door was thrown open.

**__ **

**_Viian Wong (Vivi to friends) is an immunologist with what some call a “heart of gold.” Her job is her top priority, as she’s worked tirelessly to get this far. Dedicated, caring, and exceptionally smart, Vivi is a realist who has a hard time looking on the bright side._ **

She stood there, lab coat still on and partially tucked into her high-waisted jeans. Her round-rimmed glasses were adorably askew. For a few seconds, we just stared at each other. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to hug her, but I didn’t.

“Hi.” She muttered, staring at me with wide, sparkling eyes.

“...H-Hi.” Why did I feel myself starting to cry? I was just so relieved, it overwhelmed me. My voice broke, I couldn’t help it.

She closed the space, wrapping me in her arms, and I dropped the bat to the floor, forgotten. I clung to her, my fingers curling against her back, feeling her nose burrow into the crook of my neck like it always used to. I started to shake. She rubbed her hand against my back, “Hey... it’s okay.”

  
“I-I thought... I thought you were--”

“--No. I’m right here. I’m okay.” She whispered right into my ear before my voice could break, and even then I couldn’t relax. We just held onto each other like that for who knows how long. Time sort of got away from me.

Yeojin groaned rudely, pushing her way past us and inside, “Get a _room_.”


	5. Self-Defense

_Meanwhile, in the affluent section of downtown..._

**_Ha Sooyoung is CEO of a large fashion brand in the city. She married her husband as her career began, charmed more by his wallet than his personality. She often finds herself in the company of other women instead of him. Sooyoung would define herself in one word: bold._ **

My heels clacked audibly down the hall as I edged the collar of my turtleneck further up, knowing that Inhye had left a mark even though I’d told her to be careful. That bitch was never careful. Sometimes I wondered if she _wanted_ Kyungseok to see. Then I’d wonder if _I_ wanted Kyungseok to see, just so it’d start a fight or something. That was the only way we talked, anyway - if we were fighting. Is this how straight people marriages were?   
  


I was a bit tipsy. Inhye always insisted on having wine before we got down to business. I thought it was a bit unnecessarily romantic of her. I liked it when the girls I was with didn’t talk much, because I was never quite sure how to talk to them. They were all well-off, like me, in similar circles, and had little to say. Some tried to use our sex to get leverage in the fashion industry, which made me drop them in an instant once I realized.

I took a deep breath before unlocking the door, bracing myself. I hoped he’d just be in his office. The less contact the better. I opened it slowly, unzipping my boots and setting them by the door. Ugh. He was hunched over our kitchen island, back toward me. Most of the lights were off.

I rolled me eyes, “Why are you sitting in the dark by yourself like a serial killer?”

He growled, like a dog, shaking his head, “Who were you with this time? That bitch from my firm?” I assumed he’d been nursing a beer like he sometimes liked to. He turned into a huge dick when he got drunk. But when I edged along the other side of the counter, I saw he wasn’t.

“Yeah it was the ‘bitch from your firm.’” I told him, not even caring anymore. Maybe it was the wine slightly dulling my inhibitions, or maybe I’d just had enough of him. If he wanted to get a divorce, he could. The only reason I hadn’t opted for one myself was from sheer laziness, and I liked where we were living. “Her name’s Inhye. I’d appreciate if you could use it.”

He scoffed at me, scratching his neck, “You expect me to know the whores you sleep with by their first names?” I flinched at his language. He’d never been like this. I looked at him closer, as I reached into a cabinet for more wine. Wait, what the hell? His neck was covered in blood, and his skin was discolored.

“What the fuck happened to you?” I wasn’t concerned, really just curious.

He shrugged, his eyes dark and strange looking, “Some crazy fucking homeless guy bit me. Cops pulled him off.” He shrugged.

“And you didn’t go to the hospital? Dumbass, that could get infected, if it isn’t already.” I poured myself a glass and moved to sip it, but he suddenly lurched across the counter and slapped it out of my hand. It shattered on the floor. Whoa. “What the fuck, Kyungseok?!”

“Don’t talk to me like that.” He was angry.

I just scoffed at him dismissively, “I’m not cleaning that up, so why don’t I get you a broom?” I walked to our closet and grabbed it. “Go to the doctor. You’re bleeding all over the counter, that marble was expensive.”

He grumbled a curse under his breath, “I don’t need to go to the doctor.”

“Yes you do. God you’re so stubborn.” I shoved the broom in his direction and it just clattered to the floor. I didn’t care. He was twitching, and he gripped loosely at his wound, probably just making it worse. He wasn’t saying anything else. God, this was so exhausting. I hadn’t come home just for this.

I turned from him, pouring some wine into a new glass and taking a long gulp. He was making all sorts of noises behind me, and at first I ignored him, not wanting to give him the attention he wanted. But when I heard a loud crash, I finally turned back around.   
  


He’d fallen out of the chair he’d sat in. For another fleeting moment I was concerned. I rounded the counter. He was on all fours, twitching, and he even wretched slightly. Maybe he had gotten drunk, and now the alcohol wasn’t sitting well. But he wasn’t puking. No, he’d coughed up blood. Fuck. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do. I still clutched my wine glass in my hand, just staring at him.

“W-What’s wrong with you?!” I asked him, watching as his body convulsed. The veins on his hand started to bulge, their color darkening, “W-what...?” What was going on - was this from the bite thing? I knew he should’ve gone to get help. But I had a feeling now _wasn’t_ a time for me to say “I told you so.”

He stopped twitching and he rolled onto his back. The dark veins spread up his neck and to his face, blood trailing from his clenched teeth and his eyes looked like they’d rolled to the back of his head. Was he having a seizure, or something?? I didn’t know what to do besides watch, helplessly. I realized that his eyes _hadn’t_ rolled to the back of his head, they’d just... gone white. On sheer instinct, I backed slightly away.

He stood up again in a way that just... _wasn’t_ natural, his joints moving in ways they shouldn’t have been able to. He was twitching, and growling, and I felt frozen to the spot. I wasn’t sure what the hell I’d just witnessed, but I just... _knew_ that he wasn’t himself anymore. So when he charged at me, teeth gnashing like some sort of rabid monster, I brought my wine glass slamming against the side of his face.

It shattered into shards and he staggered. His cheek started to bleed, some of the glass getting lodged there, but he wasn’t even that stunned. Shit. He was coming straight for me again. I needed to run.

I rushed down the hall, his fingers grabbing at my back and scratching against my coat. I was _barely_ far enough away. If he’d gotten even an inch on me, he’d have been able to wrap his fist around the fabric and tug me backward, into him, into those _teeth_ that hadn’t stopped _biting_. I couldn’t let him get me. I wasn’t sure what he was gonna do, but I knew I couldn’t let him get me

I barged into the dining room. It was closest. He stumbled in after me, all of his movements uncoordinated and hectic. I dodged to the side, but he kept going straight, not processing the quickness of my motion to follow me properly. He fell hard into the table, tripping over a chair leg, his head slamming against the hardwood we’d had a fight over. I’d wanted elm. He’d wanted mahogany. Well, he got his way that time. I just hoped it hurt like a bitch to slam his stupid face into it.

_Move, Sooyoung_. I told myself, blinking deliberately. I needed a weapon. There wasn’t much in here, not unless I tried to beat him down with a chair. That wouldn’t be the best plan. Our chairs were sturdy and clunky. Those were mahogany too. The only thing I could think of was the vase we used as a centerpiece. He’d gone on and on about how it was so valuable, one-of-a-kind, blah-blah-blah. That’d also been a fight. He’d gotten mad at me when he saw how dusty it was, said I should stay home more often so I should keep the place clean. I’d nearly knocked his teeth out.

I reached across the table, hefting it into my hands. He’d recovered from that impact, blood starting to drip disgustingly from his cheek and his mouth. I held my ground, waiting, watching as he rushed at me. He wasn’t himself anymore. I didn’t understand why, if it was something he’d caught from that homeless guy, or what, but he wasn’t himself, and he wasn’t going to lay a fucking finger on me.

As soon as he got close enough, I brought that vase back and slammed it hard down over his head. He fell to the floor, the vase breaking into shards. He was still kicking, though, somehow. Resilient. I grabbed one of the shards, the sharpest one I saw, and I took a few steps back.

“Kyungseok... don’t make me.” I told him firmly. He staggered to his feet again, a bit slower than before. His head was bleeding now. I held the glass toward him, sneering as he twitched and growled. He stumbled closer. “Don’t make me.” He wasn’t stopping. “I...” It was no use. I had to. If he could understand me, or even hear me, he wasn’t showing it.

Fuck it.

I brought the shard right into his chest, and he fell forward - onto me.. His weight knocked me off my feet, and I fell _hard_. He still sputtered slightly, some life left in him. I shoved, hard, swapping our positions to straddle him. His clumsy, scratching hands still reached for me, trying to get at my skin. I pulled the shard out, and thrust it in again. And again. And again. And again. I don’t know how many times. I lost track. He kept fucking _twitching_ , and I didn’t want him to move anymore.

He stopped. Finally. He stopped. Fuck. I let the shard roll out of my hand and to the floor, just trying to catch my breath. It’d had cut my palm. There was blood, blood all over me. My hands, my shirt, my arms. He laid there, and I knew he was dead. That I’d killed him.

I got to my feet, heading into my bedroom and stripping off my shirt. My hands still trembled. I slipped on a different blouse, but it was so hard to even button those buttons with how much I’d started shaking. I washed my hands in the bathroom, staring at the blood as it swirled down the drain. Some soap and a bandaid on the cut I’d gotten would have to do, at least for now.

_It was self-defense_. I told myself in my head, over and over, staring in the mirror into my eyes. They were glossy. I noticed a small speck of blood on my cheek and wiped it away frantically. _It was self-defense. You had to. You warned him_.

Someone pounding on my door made me almost jump straight out of my skin. Fuck. Was that the police or something? Had someone called about all the commotion? We had such nosy fucking neighbors, I wouldn’t have been even remotely surprised.

  
“U-um-- just a second!!” I called out, rushing into the lounge. It was a mess. The glass I’d smashed on his face was still scattered all over the floor, as well as his blood. Shit. I couldn’t really cover that up. Maybe I shouldn’t be - I had nothing to cover up, right? It was self-defense. I didn’t know, I could hardly think. The pounding continued. Whoever was there was pretty damn persistent. Shit. I just had to answer.

Taking a deep breath, I finally opened that damn door, “Yes?!”

It was one of my neighbors, I recognized him. He was the least nosy of the bunch, so I didn’t have a grudge. “Miss Ha! The building is being evacuated. Is Kyungseok here?” I shook my head. “Alright, well quickly, come with me. There are soldiers in the lobby, I-I was sent to get everyone on these two floors.”

“Evacuate? Soldiers? What’s going on?” I wondered if it had something to do with what happened to Kyungseok. Maybe this wasn’t an isolated thing.

“I-I don’t know. I’m sorry, they aren’t telling me much, but they were serious. They’ve got guns, and I even saw an armed truck outside.” I knew he wasn’t lying. He didn’t have a dishonest bone in his body. “They just said they were taking us ‘somewhere safe.’ Have you been hearing all the commotion?? It’s gotten sort of crazy in some parts of the city.”

So it wasn’t just here. It wasn’t just Kyungseok. I actually probably knew more than this guy did at this point. If people were turning into... whatever Kyungseok just had, if they were attacking others, then... that would definitely cause some chaos. And warrant soldier intervention. We were probably only being evacuated because we had money. I... wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

I just slowly nodded. I should go with him.

“Hang on, um... let me grab something.” I half-closed the door and turned back to my disheveled apartment. The first thing that came to mind was a knife. A weapon. Something that wouldn’t shatter into pieces if I brought it down against something’s head. Knives were good for that. We had big, sharp ones for cooking, and they weren’t even slightly dulled because I never fucking cooked.

I zipped my boots back up and slid the blade inside it, tucking it there. My neighbor didn’t need to know I had that. For some reason I was hesitant to trust him, hesitant to trust anyone really. Hell, for all I knew, whatever had made Kyungseok go crazy was restricted just to men. Maybe I shouldn’t trust any.

“Alright. Let’s go.” I opened that door and quickly slammed it shut behind me. He’d snuck a better peek, noticing the glass.

“Oh, Miss Ha, did something break? Are you--?”

“--I’m fine. Let’s _go._ Do we need to get the others?” I was referring to the other people left on the floor. He was alone, so if he was gathering people for evacuation, I was presumably the first.

He nodded, already heading down the hall. I kept my distance from him, more than ready to lunge and tug that knife from my boot at the first sign of twitching. He knocked on the door next to my apartment. There was faint music coming from inside, like there always was. I tended to keep my distance from that neighbor, just because he was a bit eccentric for my tastes, but I could infer that he was a music teacher or something. People went in and out a lot, I’d hear music when they went in, and then nothing after they’d gone.

The guy who’d knocked on my door - Hyungi, if I remembered right - brought his fist down hard on this door, too. He was a bit frantic. I tapped my foot impatiently, my mind wandering to the things I’d forgotten at my apartment I wish I’d grabbed, but I’d been in such a rush. And this guy was a bit too intense right now for him to let me run back in and snag something, I could tell.

“Just a minute!” Someone called out from inside.

Hyungmi seemed frustrated, “Daesuk!! Come out here!” Daesuk. Right. I didn’t know his name either. I guess it wasn’t abnormal to not know your neighbors. I wasn’t home too much anyways.

The door finally opened. I vaguely recognized him, but not the girl whose head poked out over his shoulder. She had a guitar held in one of her hands. And damn, she was pretty cute.

Daesuk stepped slightly into the hall, “What’s going on? What’s all this fuss?” One of the girl’s eyebrows raised as she stood on her tiptoes to peek over his shoulder. Her eyes met mine and she smiled, waving at me. Kinda weird, but I just waved slightly back at her.

“I’m not sure. I’ve been told to evacuate the building, that’s all.” His speech was bland and unimportant to me since I’d already heard it. The girl’s face fell slightly at the word “evacuate,” which was justified. I would’ve been more confused when I was told had I not just brutally stabbed my raving, seemingly diseased husband moments before.

Daesuk started to ask more and more questions Hyungmi just didn’t have the answers to. He was annoyingly persistent, and if I’d had more energy I would’ve told him to shut up and drop it, but at that moment all I wanted to do was _rest_. I leaned against the nearest wall, and when I stared down at my hands I noticed a small speck of blood still beneath one of my nails. I quickly scraped it out, looking around, hoping nobody noticed the motion, only to see that girl staring dead at me with big eyes. Instead of looking away once she’d been caught, she just grinned. I couldn’t manage a smile back. I was still... off. From everything. But it was nice to see a smile.

Finally, Daesuk had been denied enough to shut up. He sighed in frustration, “Alright, well, let me grab some things and--”

“--No, really, I’m supposed to get everyone as quickly as I can. We’ve already taken enough time, just bring you and, I’m sorry, what was your name?” Hyungmi pointed politely to the girl, who blinked hard, finally turning her gaze away from me.

**_Kim Jiwoo is an aspiring_ ** **_singer/songwriter who puts nearly all her free time into her work. Attending college for music theory, her brightness and approachability garnered her a large friend group. Jiwoo can talk to anyone. Some say her presence is naturally reassuring._ **

“Me? Oh! Hi, I’m Jiwoo!” She extended her hand out, that smile still there. A confused Hyunmi shook it. Hmm. She was awfully cheery. I wondered how long that would last. For some reason, the thought of that smile fading, or her being scared made me... I dunno. I didn’t like that thought.

“Erm-- hello. Come on, we’ve got to get going.” He was already heading toward nextdoor.

Daesuk ignored what he’d been told and ducked back inside, presumably to get whatever it was he wanted. The girl - Jiwoo - simply grabbed a large bag from next to the door, zipped her guitar into it, and slung it onto her shoulder before stepping into the hall with me. I listened as Hyungmi pounded against a new neighbor’s door and I shut my eyes, the sound of it sending throbs of pain through my head.

“Are you okay?” Jiwoo asked me gently, leaning against the wall at my side.

“Hmm?” I opened my eyes to look at her, startled by the concern on her face. “Yeah. Are you?”

“Of course!” She barely seemed fazed by all this. “Dunno why we’re ‘evacuating.’ Maybe it’s some sort of drill.” She wouldn’t have been thinking that if she’d seen what I’d seen. More than anything, I just wanted some concrete answers, even if they wound up being hard to swallow.

Daesuk came out of his apartment again with a backpack, locking the door behind him. Hyungmi had successfully gotten a few more of my neighbors to come out by then, all of them at varying levels of panic from the sudden, frantic retrieval. I didn’t say anything else to this girl, listening partially as she hummed something to herself and drummed her fingers against the wall in a steady rhythm.

Hyungmi came back to us after a minute or so. I hadn’t bothered to stick to his heels. “Alright, Miss Ha, I’m going to get the others from the third floor, but you’re free to head down to the lobby now. The soldiers should be there.”

I just nodded. Jiwoo nodded along with me for some reason, despite not being the one who was addressed. I watched him as he walked off, chatting with Daesuk in a low tone. I pushed myself off the wall and started walking in the opposite direction toward the elevator, feeling a bit unsteady still.

“Wait, um, Miss Ha?” Jiwoo’s voice made me slow my pace as she rushed to catch up to me, walking at my side.

“Sooyoung.” I corrected her. Only gross men who didn’t know me called me that.

  
“Um-- Sooyoung? Can I come with you to the lobby? I think Daesuk is gonna take a while and I sort of just want to leave, if I can. I have an assignment due tonight anyways.”

I shrugged. It didn’t matter to me if she came or not. “Sure.”

“Thank you!” She skipped slightly into her next step, resuming that same tune she’d been humming before.

The silence was a bit tense. Maybe not on her end, but at least for me, I felt like I should say something. Maybe ask her a question, I didn’t know anything about her. It was a bit of a walk to the elevators.

“What’s with the guitar?” I asked her flippantly, only semi-interested.

I hadn’t expected the subdued little gasp she’d give, excited I seemed to care, “Oh! I was just having a music lesson with Daesuk. I go once a week!”

Oh, she was one of his students. I’d sort of assumed that. “Cool. How long have you been playing?” I was good at smalltalk when I had to be. Especially if the person was cute.

“Oh, hmm... probably ten years now! It’s my favorite thing, I _love_ music, that’s what I’m going to school for.” At all this talk of her guitar, she gripped the strap of her bag and started to fiddle with it, as if making sure it was securely on her back. I could tell how attached she was to the guitar. Although I didn’t feel much like asking, I had a feeling she’d had it for a long time. From the glimpse I’d caught of it, there were a few scratches on the wood, and even a few stickers if I remembered right.

“Ten years?” My eyebrows raised. “Damn, that’s more commitment than I’ve ever given anything.”

She laughed, probably thinking that was a joke, but it wasn’t. “It’s fun! Do you play any instruments?” I shook my head and she pouted. “Ahh, you should try! It’s never too late.”

“Eh. Feel like it may be for me, I’m really busy.”

She frowned, “That’s a shame! Music is so fun.”

We reached the elevators and I pushed the button to call them. When I stole a glance at her from my peripheral vision, I saw she was still subtly grinning to herself. Guess she really did like music. Just talking about it got her all smiley. It was sort of extra, but the endearing kind of extra.

The doors opened after thankfully only a few seconds, and I stepped in first, Jiwoo not far behind. I pushed the button for the lobby, glad that she didn’t try to keep her distance when I stood at her side. I didn’t say anything else, since all I could really think to do was flirt, and it didn’t really seem like the time. It was only a twenty second or so ride, anyway, I think I’d survive.

Or at least, I thought so.

An unsettling, metallic groan made the elevator grind to a halt, and everything suddenly stopped. The lights in the elevator flickered once, twice, then went out altogether. A few backup lights still glowed dimly, but even those were barely working. Shit.

Jiwoo yelped when the elevator lurched, jumping slightly and clinging to my arm. I didn’t react verbally like that, instead just shifting my footing to hold better ground, gripping one of the rails attached to the walls. I could feel this rickety box starting to dangle, suddenly potently aware that we were in a metal thing suspended in the air by a few cords. Fuck.

“I-It stopped...” Jiwoo whispered fearfully.

  
“Yeah, I noticed.” I waited for a few moments, wondering if perhaps it was a fluke and those lights would turn on again, that we’d start moving. But nothing happened. For nearly a minute, nothing happened. I listened closely, and I heard the vaguest sound of what I thought was an explosion. It was far away, barely even there, but I’d caught it. What the fuck had exploded?

I reached forward, pushing the call button and leaning my face toward the small speaker there, “Hello? The elevator stopped. Can anyone hear us?” There was nothing. I rolled my eyes, pushing it again, “Hello??” Nothing. I wasn’t even sure if it was working without power. “Fuck.”

“What’re we supposed to do?” Jiwoo asked me, her voice nothing more than a timid whisper.

“I dunno.” Normally, I’d say to just wait for someone to come get us. But... with what was going on, I didn’t feel as comfortable with that.

Neither of us said another word. After a few minutes, though, I heard something else.

Gunshots. A lot of them. They came in bursts, like they were from automatic rifles. Like soldiers would have. What were the soldiers shooting? I thought back to Kyungseok, at the way he’d charged me, even when I clearly had a weapon. If there were more people that’d turned into... whatever he’d turned into, I’d definitely have shot them. Shit. What if there were more in the building? What if the soldiers got overrun, what if Hyungmi and the others found their own way downstairs without us and nobody noticed us in here, trapped?

We needed to find our own way out. It looked like we’d stopped somewhere between the second and third floors. Jiwoo still looked at me expectantly, seeming totally helpless. 

“I’m going up.” I muttered, shrugging off my coat. It went down past my knees, and might get in the way. I went to drop it to the floor, not much caring, but Jiwoo instead reached forward and offered to hold it.

“How? Up there?” She pointed to the ceiling, looking and noticing the faint outline of that hatch. I wasn’t sure what it was for, probably maintenance or something, but I didn’t care. If I got up there I could probably reach the third floor, because we were stuck in between right now.

“Yeah.” I stood on my tip-toes, jumping ever so slightly to push against the surface. It budged, but just barely. I needed a better foothold. “Fuck... um...” I looked around. It wasn’t like there was anything I could use. Besides, well...

“Do you want me to help?” She asked, sounding incredibly uncertain of herself.

“Uh... yeah, if you could just boost me up. I could probably open it.” I’d love it if she could help, but she seemed too nervous. She definitely wasn’t comfortable being stuck in this elevator, her breathing starting to get audible, like she was claustrophobic. The last thing I needed was for her to break down or start to panic. We both needed to keep a level head if we ever hoped to get out of here.

“Yeah, sure, u-um, of course...” She moved to be underneath the hatch, already bending to one knee and lacing her fingers together. I stepped lightly onto them, not wanting to hurt her, and felt her push up. She was stronger than she looked, and my extended arms were propelled up and into the latch with more than enough force to get it open. I curled my fingers around the edge of the roof and pulled myself up with little effort, Jiwoo helping me the whole way just to be safe.

“Okay, I’m up!” I told her as I tugged myself fully onto the rusted, cold metal. It really didn’t seem like people were supposed to be standing up here. I looked up the shaft, at the freightening height of it and how dark it was, getting almost queasy. I wasn’t the biggest fan of heights, so I didn’t even let myself look over the edge. It felt incredibly precarious. Like the slightest step in the wrong way would make this thing wobble so much it may just collapse altogether. Fuck. I _hated_ this.

“Be careful!!” Jiwoo called out to me, her voice carrying eerily throughout the shaft.

  
“I planned on it...” I muttered the snarky comment more to myself than her, since she meant well. I could see the doors to the second floor, they were almost level with me, only slightly higher up. I tugged the knife from my boot and slid the blade between the gap in those doors, prying as hard as I could to slip my hand in and get enough of a grip. Thankfully, it budged, and although it took every ounce of my strength, I got them open just a bit. Probably enough for us to squeeze through.

From what I could see of the floor, it was also dark. Almost pitch black. The power must’ve been out in the whole building. “Okay, I got the doors open!!” I called out to her.

“Cool! Um, how do I get up now?” She asked me nervously. “Should I--”

“-- _Shh_.” I shushed her. I’d heard something. Something from the floor that I had just opened up. There were footsteps, fast ones. “Hey! Hey, we’re stuck, um, in the elevator! Could you give us some--” I stopped. Fast. I heard a growl. Just like Kyungseok had growled. Uh-oh.

I’d cut myself short, but I knew it was too late. Whatever was out there had heard me. And it was coming. Those footsteps got quicker, louder, and the clearer they got the more I could tell how uneven they were. Shit shit _shit_. I backed up instinctively, but I only had a few seconds before it had gotten to us.

It looked just like Kyungseok had, with eyes milky and inhuman and just... dead. Darkened veins stood out against it’s greyish face, and it was twitching and growling. A chunk of skin was taken out of it’s arm. He was a janitor, I could tell from his outfit.

With the same disturbing lack of coordination as Kyungseok showed, it stumbled straight through the opening I’d made, falling the short distance _hard_ onto the top of the elevator with me. The whole thing lurched, creaking and groaning. I heard Jiwoo shriek from the motion, not knowing what was going on. Hell, she’d never even seen one of these things. She had no clue.

“Sooyoung!! What is that?!” She was looking up still from inside, clutching my coat to her chest.

“I-it’s-- uh--” I wasn’t sure what to tell her. I didn’t really have a solid answer, and I didn’t have time to think, because it lunged at me.

I had my knife, I did, but it was so fast. It slammed into me roughly, and my knife did cut its arm, but that wasn’t enough. It wasn’t fazed, instead pressing me against the wall of the shaft and _biting_ around my neck. It’s teeth scraped the fabric, and I’d never been more grateful to have been wearing a turtleneck in my life. I wasn’t thinking about where it would go, or what else I should do, I just needed it _off_ me.

So I shoved, as hard as I could. It staggered away, and then lost its footing altogether, falling through the still open hatch and straight into the elevator. With Jiwoo. 

**_Fuck_**.

I didn’t hesitate for even a second, hopping back down into the elevator and stumbling a bit from the sudden landing, since it made the whole compartment shake and sway. Ugh. _Hated_ this. The thing hadn’t landed too gracefully either, but the way it contorted itself to its feet was grotesque. Jiwoo by that point had pressed herself into the corner, which was probably for the best.

“Don’t let it bite you.” I told her firmly, readying my knife to stab it as soon as it got in range. That must’ve been how they were turning. It was what happened to Kyungseok, and the more I looked at the wound on this thing’s arm, the more it looked like a bite.

“Wh-what _is_ it?! What’s wrong with him?!” Jiwoo stammered out.

I didn’t answer her, because I didn’t know. I _wish_ I did, I was sick of not knowing what the fuck was happening, but I didn’t have time to be frustrated about that. It rushed me again, teeth gnashing.

I brought the knife forward but my aim was off. The blade sank into its shoulder instead of its head, and although it flinched, even almost staggering, it didn’t stop coming, and now my knife was lodged in its flesh. Shit.

Instead of pressing me against the wall that time, its sheer brute force and clumsy weight knocked me to the floor. I fell, Jiwoo yelping both from that and from the way the elevator trembled unsteadily from the impact. I just tried as hard as I could to get my knife _out_ of it, so I could shove it straight through its forehead, but I couldn’t get a solid enough grip while keeping its teeth from me.

“G-get off her!!” Jiwoo commanded in a shaky voice. At first that was all I thought she was capable of doing - pleading with it - but I was thankfully proven wrong. She moved, bringing back her leg and kicking it _hard_ in the head.

That jarred it quite a bit, and I pushed it off, unfortunately back to its feet. And now it just seemed mad at Jiwoo. Shit. She shrieked as it ran at her, and although I stood up as fast as I could despite my aching back, it already had her pinned. The knife. It had finally come loose when she’d kicked him, and I now held it in my tight fist, barely even noticing from all the adrenaline pumping through me.

Gripping the handle with both hands, I slammed it down _deep_ into it’s back, right where its spine would be. It stopped, but it wasn’t done yet. I pulled the blade out with some difficulty and shoved it back in, just _stabbing_ it until it went _down._ The motion became repetitive, automatic, desperate, like it had with Kyungseok. Something else took over, I just needed it _dead_.

After what must’ve been more then ten quick, hard stabs to its back, it slumped. Falling to the floor in a crumpled heap, surrounded by its own blood. The elevator was eerily silent besides Jiwoo and I’s heavy, uneven breathing.

“W... what--?” She whimpered, still loosely clutching my coat in one of her small hands. When I looked back at her, I saw how _covered_ in blood she was. It made sense - that thing had been practically on top of her while I poked it full of holes. Her fluffy sweater was nearly dripping red. Although we were still in a far from ideal situation, for some reason one of my biggest priorities was getting her cleaned up.

“Are you okay...?” I asked her gently. I felt like I needed to ask.

“I-I... I don’t...? He scratched me.” She muttered, pointing to her wrist. There was a gouge there, like something had gripped it way too hard and dug its nails in. Ouch.

“Let me see.” I gently clasped her hand and brought it closer. We needed to patch this up, get it covered with something. It was already starting to bleed. “Hold on.” I tugged my coat from her tight grip and reached for the sleeve, using the knife to cut a piece from it.

She gasped, moving her hand as if to stop me. “Your coat!”

I brushed her away, “It’s fine. We need to cover that, this’ll have to do for now.” I brought the freshly cut strip of the fabric to her wrist, tying it tightly around the wound. She winced a bit from the slight added pressure, but It would help. At least a little. “There.”

She looked at me wordlessly, seemingly in awe that I’d done that just to help her. It was just a coat. It wasn’t even my best one. I wasn’t sure why she was making such a big deal out of it.

I decided against asking. “Let’s get out of here.”

She boosted me back to the roof of the elevator, and I pulled her up with me. The doors I’d pried open had stayed that way, thankfully. Although I absolutely _hated_ every single _second_ I was on top of this rickety metal box of death, I also hated how terrified she looked.

“You go first.” I pointed to the small opening, doing my best not to tremble. We could still vaguely hear a few gunshots every now and then. The frequency of them had lessened, which could’ve either been a good or bad sign.

She didn’t question me, instead just slowly, carefully stepping forward. The elevator swayed slightly from the shift of her weight, and I clenched my fists, my whole body turning to stone. I just watched, frozen in fear as she edged through the small opening I’d created. As soon as she was through, I gravitated toward the opening too, slipping in after her. For some reason she felt the need to gently clasp my hand and help tug me through, though it was pretty unnecessary.

The floor we were on was dark and empty. Hyungmi had said he was going to evacuate them, what had happened? Had he just given up once the power went out? If so, then he must’ve taken the stairs. The stairwell was only one door away from us, and judging by the way I’d unintentionally drawn that thing toward us by opening my mouth, I decided to stay quiet. Jiwoo followed suit, as well as sticking to my heels when I opened that door and headed into the stairwell.

It wasn’t quiet in here. Up above, we could hear all these footsteps and screams and growls and... not good things. Jiwoo clung to my arm, whispering frantically, “Should we help them??”

I leaned slightly over the railing, looking up, catching some glimpses of all the commotion. Someone shoved someone else, and they stumbled over the railing. I barely got out of the way fast enough as he fell _fast_ down the opening between the staircases, falling several floors. Jiwoo yelped, the sound of his body slamming into railings along the way unsettlingly reverberating off the walls. It had been one of the monsters. I’d seen its face in just a glimpse to tell, so I wasn’t necessarily mourning. Jiwoo was terrified though.

“I think we should focus on helping _us_.” I told her firmly. Whatever the hell was happening up there, it was chaotic, and we’d only just gotten out of one life-threatening situation. I definitely didn’t need another. At least not so soon.

But apparently, I didn’t have a choice. Frantic footsteps were coming from above, rushing down the stairs. They were even enough for me to know it wasn’t one of those monsters, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t being chased. A man in a business-suit plowed right past us, with two of the things on his tail. Shit. No more time to consider. We needed to _go_.

Not trusting her ability to keep up, I latched onto her hand with a death grip and tugged her with me, running as fast as I could. The guy in front of us tripped over his own two feet, stumbling down a few steps and onto one of the landings, and Jiwoo instinctively moved to help him, but I pulled her away. His fault for leading them to us in the first place. Although he still had a chance if he got up fast enough, based on the screams of fear behind us, I assumed he hadn’t.

We made it to the ground floor. The lobby. Thank god. The things chasing us had gotten a bit distracted by the guy who’d tripped, but they hadn’t forgotten about us, and we couldn’t run forever. I threw the door open and burst outside, Jiwoo still clinging to my hand--

\--only to be staring straight down the barrel of a gun.

I froze, naturally, despite the primal urge in me to flee still telling me to _run._

“Move!” A deep, burly voice commanded me lowly. I did, lunging out of the way, Jiwoo still with me. Deafening gunshots pierced my ears and I covered them, watching as this soldier riddled the monsters that’d nearly grabbed us with bullets. He slammed the door after downing them, pressing his back against it.

We were in the lobby. I looked around. There weren’t many soldiers left. Scattered corpses in military uniforms were all over, as well as regular civilians. Those things must’ve gotten in, and although the area seemed sort of secure, there was an overall sense of disarray and stress lingering in the air. Whatever the plan had been, it’d gone to hell. Great.

“You two!” The gruff soldier shouted at us. Jiwoo’s grip on me tightened, her posture stiffening. “Were you bitten?!” Other soldiers in the area rushed past behind us, moving out to the street. This one guy was dealing with us on his own.

“No.” I told him. I’d also definitely appreciate it if he could be a bit less hostile. Jiwoo just shook her head timidly.

He reached up to a small walkie talkie attached to his chest, pressing a button and speaking lowly into it, “Sir, I’ve got two civilians. Not bitten.”

It was only a second before he got a response, “Confirmed? We’ve had two civilians now who’ve hid bites. Turned on us.”

The soldier’s eyes changed. He scanned me up and down briefly, which was gross, and then his eyes moved to Jiwoo, who was much more notably bloodied. His gaze lingered. Then they noticed my makeshift bandage still wrapped around her wrist.

“What is that?!” He raised his gun at it, as if he planned to just blow off her hand with a hail of bullets. Whoa.

“Nothing. She got scratched, it’s not a bite.” I told him, trying my very best to be rational and calm. But he was pissing me off. Jiwoo cowered, terrified.

“Take that off, let me see!!” He was trembling. He was trying to act tough, but you could tell how scared he was if you looked hard enough. He must’ve seen some things that he hadn’t wanted to see. So had I, but I also didn’t have an automatic rifle to wave around in people’s faces.

“Fine! Just calm down.” I told him, reaching gently to Jiwoo’s wrist and undoing the loose knot I’d made. It had bled some more, the original wound hard to see.

“T-That looks like a bite to me! Stand back, miss!” He told me, wanting me to move away. His gun was still raised, the sights aimed right between Jiwoo’s eyes now. His finger was dangerously close to the trigger, and he was still shaking.

Without thinking, I moved - stepping right between them, in the small space that there was between Jiwoo and the barrel of that rifle. Jiwoo gasped quietly from the motion, clinging tightly to the back of my t-shirt with trembling hands. I could feel just how hard she was shaking and I didn’t like it.

He glared, though he was wavering. “Get out of the way!”

“She _wasn’t_ ** _bitten_** , dumbass! What part of that don’t you understand?!” I was through being nice at this point. Typically, politeness tended to fade once someone threatened to blow your brains out.

He faltered some more at how crass I was being. Soldiers were probably used to people cowering when they had guns pointed at them, and yeah, I was pretty fucking terrified, but I didn’t let it show. If I seemed uncertain, he’d be able to take advantage of that, and Jiwoo wasn’t gonna get killed over some stupid misunderstanding. She just wasn’t.

We stood. It was a stare off, and it was intense. I could see sweat starting to appear on his brow, but I held my ground, even shifting to make sure Jiwoo was more fully hidden behind me. If he wanted to kill her, he’d have to literally throw me to the ground. My knife had been slid back into my boot by that point, but if a bullet so much as grazed this girl I was more than ready to stab him in his idiotic brain. The seconds dragged, the air dripping with tangible tension. Jiwoo’s already vice grip on me tightened the longer it went on for. Her life was literally on the line.

Finally, he backed down.

“F-fine! But we can’t help her! We aren’t responsible for her. She’s on her own.” Slowly, he lowered his gun to be aimed a bit more at our feet. “You, miss, can go out to my commanding officer. He’s in the armed car on the street with the other civilians.” He tried to make his voice steady, commanding and powerful, but after what had just happened? There was no way I planned on getting in a vehicle with more of this cowards. Seemed like they were just as much of a mess as everyone else. They were just messes with big guns who wouldn’t hesitate to shoot someone for looking at them wrong, and I didn’t want to be a part of that.

He didn’t need to know, though. So I just headed straight for the door, Jiwoo’s grip still on me, and walked onto the street.

The city was in absolute disarray. There were sirens and explosions and gunshots and screaming audible from all sides of us, at varying distances. There were a few makeshift barricades of sandbags set up around the front of our building, with soldiers stationed at them to shoot whoever got too close. The ragtag team of soldiers that hadn’t gotten killed by those things was huddling together near a huge, intimidating truck with a mounted gun on it, along with a few civilians trembling in fear nearby. Some had their wrists tied for some reason. Yeah, no, fuck that. Only hot women were allowed to tie my wrists together.

Without another second of hesitation, I shrugged Jiwoo’s tight grip off of me and just started to walk. She followed me. I avoided the soldiers and headed around the side of the building, down a tight, narrow alleyway I usually took to get home. I pulled my knife back out of my boot, knowing it’d probably be safer to have it ready.

“Why did you do that...?” Jiwoo asked me, unsure of herself.

“Do what?”

“Stick up for me?”

I almost stopped walking, resisting the urge to sigh. Was she gonna make this more sentimental than it needed to be? “You weren’t bitten.” I told her plainly.

She waited for a few moments. “You didn’t have to come with me. You could’ve stayed with the soldiers.”

True. But that hadn’t seemed too appealing either. “Those trigger happy testosterone junkies? No thanks. I’m probably safer without them.”

“Thank you.”

I stopped that time, turning to face her. “Don’t do that.”

Her eyebrows raised. I didn’t like the gratitude I could see so clearly on her face. “But you helped me!”

She wasn’t wrong, necessarily, but it didn’t feel right for her to thank me. “I guess, but... none of that.”

She didn’t understand. “Why?”

“You don’t owe me anything.” I realized I still held loosely onto the strip of fabric that stupid soldier had forced me to untie, so without asking I just clasped her wrist and attached it again. She was shaking a little less. 

“I...” I didn’t address whatever she was starting to say and just turned, walking again. She stuck at my side. “...thank you.” She muttered it quietly, more to herself than to me, and I just pretended not to hear it. “Um... where’re you going?”

“I need to get out of the city.” Whatever the hell was going on, I knew that it was only being made worse by being in this incredibly densely populated area. I had some family in the countryside, maybe I could get to them.

“Uh... can I come with you?” She asked sheepishly.

Ugh. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “Fine. But you need to look after yourself, I won’t always be right there to help you.” I stopped walking again, looking around the alley. It was full of miscellaneous garbage, but I thankfully spotted something useful only after a few seconds. There was a lead pipe laid partially hidden beneath a dumpster, and I tugged it out. It was cold and hard. Could definitely bash a skull in. I placed it in her extended hands, and she hefted it like it was heavier than it actually was. “Here. Keep them away with this. You saw how that guy reacted when he thought you were bitten? Imagine if you actually were. Don’t let them get too close, okay?”

She just nodded, fear still behind her eyes. At least she could take care of herself now. I didn’t want to be lugging around dead weight, even if she was cute.


	6. Search Party

**_Heejin_ **

There was so much smoke. It stung my eyes and burned my lungs whenever I breathed too deeply. My head _hurt_ from where it’d hit the edge of one of the counters. The explosion that had somehow happened had thrown me against the wall, and I couldn’t get over how lucky I’d been that it’d also broken that... _thing_ ’s neck. The sound of it snapping was burned into my brain, and I’d accidentally caught a glimpse of it all contorted in the corner. I felt sick to my stomach.

****

I couldn’t believe I’d told Hyunjin to leave. I mean... it wasn’t like she could help me, and I didn’t want her to get hurt - that was the last thing I wanted, _ever_ \- but how the hell was I gonna get out of here?

****

The kitchen door was still blocked. My leg was stuck under a piece of the ceiling that had fallen on my foot, and I could tell that if something wasn’t broken, it was at least sprained.

****

I should get up. I needed to get out of there, I needed to get to Hyunjin. She said she’d go to my place, so my dorm, I guessed. That was sort of far, and she was all by herself. God, I swear I was more worried for her than I was for me. I didn’t know how bad the rest of the city was. I just wanted her to be safe. I didn’t know what I’d do if anything happened to her.

****

Taking a deep breath to cope with how bad this would hurt, I reached down and did my best to shove that piece of cement off of my foot. Pain shot through my leg and up my hip, but I needed it _off_ me. I just clenched my teeth and shut my eyes, not wanting to make too much noise. It had sounded like there were more of those... monsters outside, but Hyunjin had led them away. Of course she had. Always protecting me, even when it put her at risk. Big dope.

****

Finally, I got it off me. My foot was bleeding slightly, my work-designated heel having come off in all this commotion. One of my toes looked... just not okay. Great. Broken toe and potentially a broken foot in this situation? Could I have _any_ worse luck?

****

I struggled, pushing myself to my feet and making sure not to put weight on my injured one. It was hard to even breathe in here. Most of the fire was by the wall near the back exit - the one Hyunjin had tried. There was a window, but it was too small for anyone to fit through. The hole in the ceiling was pretty big, and if I used a table I could probably get up there, but not with my foot.

****

Shit. This... didn’t look good.

  
 _Please,_ ** _please_** _just someone give me_ ** _some_** _good luck._ I pleaded to something, _anything_ , not knowing what else to do.

****

As if on cue, someone shouted from the alley Hyunjin had been in. “Hello?! Is anyone in there?!”

****

The voice was deep and booming, loud enough for me to hear even over the roaring flames.

****

“Yes!! Hello! Help, _please_ , I-I’m stuck in here!!” I edged along the counter I’d been using as support, trying to get closer to the door. He probably couldn’t get in from there, because of all the fire. Terrified, I looked around. This was a kitchen. There should be a fire extinguisher, right?

****

It had gotten thrown to the floor from the explosion. Taking a deep breath as I worked through the pain still gripping my foot, I moved toward it as steadily as I could. I lifted the collar of my blouse, covering my mouth, just praying that would somehow make it easier to breathe.

****

“Miss?! Are you alright?!” I heard a fist pound on the back door twice.

****

“Um, no!! Careful, the fire’s behind the door!” I bent clumsily, praying not to fall, and slowly picked up the extinguisher with one hand. It was heavier than I thought, and it threw me off balance because of the way I’d tipped. I staggered, falling on my side and I grimaced. Ow. I was bruised in way more places than I’d first thought. I groaned, struggling onto all fours, extinguisher in my hands now.

****

“That’s alright, miss, I’m a firefighter!” A firefighter?! Oh, wow, I had _never_ been more relieved in my life. Finally, some _luck_. I stumbled to my feet, hoisting myself up with the help of the counter. “Listen to me closely - is there _any_ water, or perhaps a fire extinguisher in the room?! If I open this door now, the air from the outside will only fuel the flames unless you can lower them!” That made sense. I felt like I’d heard it once, in like a fire safety talk at school or something. 

****

“I-I have an extinguisher!! I’ll try to make the door clear ok?!” I could barely get that out, starting to cough more and more. There was so much smoke.

****

I edged closer, remembering vaguely being trained how to use this by a chef who was tipsy on wine. I propped myself up on the counter and sprayed its contents at the flames. They lowered from the cold liquid, lessening in intensity, but they were still there. Still making smoke that made my throat tighten and burn.

****

“O-Okay! I-I did it!!” I squinted through the smoke, my eyes stinging.

****

Before I knew it, that door was thrown open so hard it slammed into the wall. A man stood there in what looked like almost full firefighter gear, a fire axe in one hand. It was splattered with blood, and for once, something being splattered with blood was reassuring. He’d probably killed one of those things with it. He rushed in, fast, determined, right up to me.

****

**__ **

**_Kim Jinseok_ **

“Can you walk?!” The ceiling caved in further, and he ducked on instinct, eyes already red around the rims from the smoke. I shook my head, unable to talk anymore, just coughing and coughing. I wondered what he’d do, if he’d support my arm, or what, but before I had time to wonder, I was off my feet.

****

He lifted me up, high, tossing me over his shoulder in what I knew was a fireman’s carry. He didn’t even flinch from my weight, the only sign that he’d even felt it being a small grunt that left him. He rushed back out the door, straight through the lingering flames, and burst into the alleyway.

****

Fresh air filled my lungs and I sucked in a deep, deep breath, gasping for air. He set me down politely and I leaned against the nearest wall, just needing time to breathe and get my bearings. He knelt in front of me, looking at my foot but not touching it.

****

“My name’s Jinseok. Who’re you?”

****

“Heejin.” I told him between my deep, rasping breaths. I couldn’t believe I’d gotten out of there. Really, I couldn’t believe it. I owed him my life, and he was just looking up at me with a dopey smile. I almost wanted to hug him. “Thank you, I-I... thank you.”

****

He waved at my gratitude, dismissing it, “Don’t mention it. Your foot’s not looking too good.” He stood back up, brushing some ash out of his hair. “We shouldn’t stay here. The city’s falling to pieces. I--”

****

“Jinseok?!” A woman’s voice called out from the other side of the alley, along with what I recognized as growling. Oh no. Not more of those things. I turned to look, and I saw a woman there in firefighter gear like his. She was running for us, and those things were on her heel.

****

**__ **

**_Im Nayoung_ **

“Nayoung?!” Jinseok called back to the girl, who was thankfully managing to gain some ground against those things rushing after her. He gripped the fire axe tighter. I stared at the way the monsters were sprinting and looked back down at my foot. I couldn’t run. I might be able to walk, limping painfully the whole way through, but there was no way I’d be able to run. Oh no.

****

I got ready to beg. Ready to plead for my life a second time, ready to literally fall to my knees just for them to help me. But as soon as the girl was in range, Jinseok tossed her the axe, which she caught, and bent over. Huh?  
  


“Heejin, get on my back!” His shoulders were so broad, the entire width of my torso was probably half the size.

****

I didn’t question it, just wrapping my arms around the back of his neck. He hooked his arms beneath my knees and stood upright again, hoisting me up just as easily as before. Nayoung held that axe with immediate familiarity, and I glanced over at just the right time to see her sink its blade straight into the skull of one of those things, prying it out of the body once it’d fallen to the ground.

****

Without another moment’s hesitation, we ran. Or, I guess, _they_ ran, and I was just along for the ride. They ran out of the alley, onto the street, and I got to see the full extent of the destruction of everything. This was the same street I stared out at during all my graveyard shifts, watching the cars go by and the occasional pedestrians, and it was just... almost unrecognizable. Windows were shattered, cars had crashed into buildings, there were bodies _all over the place_. Part of me felt like I should look away, but another part of me couldn’t, fixated on the disastrous scene in disturbed awe. I couldn’t believe this. Everything had gone to hell.

****

“Come on!!” Nayoung was leading the way. Jinseok was strong, yeah, but he wasn’t as fast as her, even with her axe. More of the things peppered the road, drawn to us from all of the shouting and commotion. She kept them off us with that axe, sticking right in front and not letting any of them so much as get within arms’ reach of me.

****

“We have to get to the station!!” Jinseok shouted over all the chaos.

****

“Yeah, I wasn’t heading to the fucking bakery, moron!” Nayoung jibed back at him. He chuckled slightly, I felt his back vibrate. I assumed they meant the fire station.

****

We just kept running, unfortunately with more of those things following us the further we had to go. There were other people, too, who were way less lucky than we were. Than _I_ was. They didn’t have two buff firefighters personally escorting them through all this danger, they were on their own, and I saw more than a few get tackled to the ground by the monsters. That, I wouldn’t let myself look at.

****

Nayoung took a sharp turn down another alley and Jinseok struggled to be as nimble as her with his lumbering form. “Wait! Nayoung!! I think the garage door’s locked!” Jinseok called out. Nayoung flinched, clearly not having known that, and she turned to look at him in dismay.

****

“Well, we’ve gotta figure something out I guess, cuz we’re not going back that way!” She pointed over our shoulder, at the mass of monsters that we’d attracted from our rush. One of them caught up abnormally fast, and she sunk the axe deep into it’s shoulder, prying the blade from it by pushing it off with her foot. Some blood splattered her face and she grimaced, wiping it off with her glove.

****

It only took us a few more turns to get to the garage door they’d mentioned. And it was, in fact, closed. Jinseok set me down and I leaned against the wall. He squatted, shoving his fingers beneath the bottom of it, and started to lift. The metal creaked and groaned, but it didn’t budge.

****

Nayoung kept the things off of us as best as she could, but she was only one person. We were going to get overwhelmed. I just knew it. I felt useless, I wanted to help.

****

“Jinseok you’re not fucking Superman! You can’t open that, we’ve gotta find another way in!!”

****

He scoffed at her, “Is that a challenge?!” He was giving it all, a vein popping out in his neck and sweat dripping from his brow. His face was reddening. The metal was groaning, almost sounding like it was going to give way and move - but it was locked. I doubted he’d be able to lift that.

****

I looked all over, trying to find something else we might be able to use. There was a window on the second floor. It was slightly cracked open.

****

“Jinseok! Stop that, could you boost me up there?!” I asked, moving myself forward to nudge his shoulder. He let the door go, glancing at me, surprised I was standing on my own. When he looked up and spotted that window, he just nodded, not hesitating for a single moment longer.

****

He remained squatted and wrapped his arms around my legs before standing, lifting me up. I was just in range of the window, reaching frantically to grab the sill. He held onto me, making sure I didn’t fall, “Try to get to the other side of this door! We’ll be able to last a bit, but not that long!!” He told me slowly. I got a better grip on the sill when he stood on his tiptoes, and finally pulled as hard as I could, lifting my upper half through the window and into the building. I toppled, losing my balance and falling inside onto a hardwood floor. Ow. God I was just gonna keep falling, huh?

****

I didn’t bother vocalizing and letting them know I’d gotten inside safely. That wasn’t what they needed - they needed that door open, and I owed them both my life. It was the least I could do.

****

I struggled to my feet, doing my best to not put pressure on my hurt one. I was on the upper floor, in a room with some bunks and lockers. There was no time to lose, I needed to get downstairs. Right as I headed for the door, though, I heard more growling. Shit.

****

I couldn’t fight. There was nothing in this room that could even slightly count as a weapon. No, I just needed to get the others. Maybe I could like... trip the monster? So it wouldn’t be able to chase me? Or tie it up, or something? Trap it? I looked around the room again, searching for something new. The growling was coming closer, fast. It must’ve heard me fall inside. Shit.

****

Desperate, I just grabbed a fistful of one of the sheets on the nearest bed and tugged it from the mattress, holding the fabric loosely in my hands. It appeared in the doorway, rabid, with its mouth dripping blood. My whole life felt like it flashed before my eyes.

****

It ran at me. It was a long shot, an _incredibly_ long shot, but there was literally nothing else I could do. I panicked and threw the sheet over its head, tensing up, bracing for impact--

****

\--but it stopped. It stopped dead in its tracks, starting to swipe wildly at the air, not even seeming to understand that there was something over its head. It was blinded. Oh. _Oh_. Well that was good to know. It still growled, searching for me, but I ducked down to the floor - out of its reach. Doing my best to be quiet, I crawled out of the room on my hands and knees. It kept swiping aimlessly, but I was long gone.

****

I scooted down the stairs on my butt, not really wanting to walk and having a feeling that with my luck I’d just wind up tripping if I tried. The lower floor thankfully seemed empty. I staggered to my feet, limping as quickly as I could to that garage door. There was a large metal bar horizontally across it, holding it firmly in place. It was an extremely effective lock, there was no way Jinseok would’ve been able to lift this thing. So it was up to me.

****

The metal was rusted and it hurt my hands to grip it as tightly as I did, but I didn’t care, I needed to help them. Wincing through the pain, I got the best foothold I could manage and pressed against the bar, hard, pushing it out of the way of the door and into an unlocked position. Finally, it was moved. Unlocked. I reached down, gripping the bottom of the door and lifting as best I could - but a pair of strong hands from the other side beat me to it.

****

Jinseok threw the door all the way open with ease now that the bar wasn’t holding it in place, “Nayoung!! Come on!” I looked out at her. She was struggling to keep one of the things away - it had somehow managed to sink its teeth into the handle of her axe, pressing itself hard against her and clawing at her thick jacket.

****

Jinseok rushed forward, bringing his fist down hard onto the thing’s face and sending it crumpling to the ground immediately. Nayoung backed up, having gotten free, but made sure to sink her axe into that thing’s chest as deep as it could go before letting Jinseok tug her inside. He grabbed the door and slammed it back down just in time - dozens of infected hands pounding viciously against it after it’d been shut, but there was no way they’d get in. It was sturdy.

****

Thank god.

****

We all just sat there and breathed. Nayoung sighed, reaching up and letting her hair out of the tight ponytail it had been it so that it fell around her shoulders. Jinseok slowly sat on the floor, then seemed to change his mind and laid down flat instead, staring up at the ceiling as his chest heaved. I sat as well, making sure not to put any more pressure on my foot.

****

“Ugh. Jesus.” Nayoung grumbled to herself, letting her axe fall to the floor. It was splattered with even more blood, as was her jacket and face. She walked into a nearby bathroom, flicking on a light. I heard water running, she was likely cleaning herself up. “Welp. We’ve still got running water, so that’s a good sign.”

****

Jinseok just chuckled heartily, “I’m sweating like a dog so you better _hope_ we have running water.”

****

Nayoung scoffed out of view, coming back from the bathroom with a clean face and semi-clean jacket. I didn’t want to spoil the mood of slight relief that’d settled in on everyone, but...

****

“U-uh, there’s one upstairs.” I muttered quietly.

****

Nayoung paused mid-step, sighing in frustration. She scooped her axe up from the floor and set it down on Jinseok’s chest, “You get it. I need a break.”

****

He dragged himself back to his feet with an “oof,” clutching the axe firmly and giving her a salute, “Yes ma’am.” Without another word he trudged up the stairs, whistling to himself. For a few lingering moments I listened in suspense, only to hear a dull _thud_ and a wet splatter, follower by Jinseok’s clunky steps back toward us. Phew.

****

“Rude of you to not introduce me to your friend, BM.” Nayoung told him as he came back over, plopping right back to the floor.

****

“BM?” I asked.

****

Nayoung rolled her eyes, putting air quotes around the explanation, “‘Big Muscles.’ He gave it to himself. Which isn’t how nicknames work, but it kinda stuck.” I looked over at him, and he flexed his bicep at me with a big toothy grin. I couldn’t help but smile back. “I just tell myself it stands for ‘Bumbling Moron,’ it usually shuts him up.”

****

His smile didn’t fade, instead just nodding. “Both are accurate. And Nayoung, this is Heejin. Poor girl was trapped in a kitchen fire!”

****

Her eyebrows raised. “Damn. Pretty lucky we came along, huh?” I nodded vigorously and she shot me a smile.

****

I felt safe with these two, really, I did. But... I couldn’t stop thinking about Hyunjin. She hadn’t left my mind, not even for a second. I had to contact her somehow, but I’d left my phone in the break room the restaurant. The longer I was away from her, the worse the tightness in my chest got. I couldn’t get a good breath in, even now, when I was technically safe.

****

Resisting the urge to sniffle, I spoke up again. “Hey, um, do either of you have a phone I could use...?”

****

Nayeon reached into her pockets, searching, but came up with nothing and shrugged at me. I was about to give up hope, when Jinseok let out a triumphant “Ah-ha!” and pulled a clunky flip phone from his back pocket. Oh. Wow, I hadn’t seen one of those in a long time.

****

He handed it to me, “Sorry it’s a relic, it’s my backup for emergencies.” He tugged off one of his gloves to show me his ring finger, and the sleek silver band on it, “The wife made me get it! My job makes her worried.”

****

“God can you shut up about her for like ten minutes? The honeymoon stage isn’t supposed to happen _again_ after you get married.” Nayoung crossed her arms, presumably having to hear about this a lot. I thought it was sweet. When I married Hyunjin, (which, yeah, I planned to) I’d probably be _just_ as annoying about her.

****

I nodded at him in thanks, flipping the phone open and dialing Hyunjin’s number. I knew it by heart. I used to call her on the payphone outside work because I couldn’t pay my phone bill, using up my tip money just to hear her voice. I held the phone to my ear, dreading every single ring.

****

_Please answer._ _Please_ _answer._ ** _Please_**.

****

She didn’t.

****

Her automated voicemail message started to play. She’d always been too lazy to record a personal one. Either way, when I was prompted by a robotic voice to leave a message, I did.

****

“Hi, u-um, it’s Heejin! I-I don’t know if you’ll get this, but, I-I just thought I’d let you know that I’m safe, I-I’m okay...” The tears that had been welling up in my chest finally started to stream down my cheeks, because what if _she_ wasn’t safe? What if _she_ wasn’t okay? What if she was _hurt_ and needed _help_ and I was nowhere near her? “Please be careful, baby, d-don’t do anything stupid or reckless, _please_. I-I don’t know what I’ll do if something...” I couldn’t even finish the thought. A sob hit me like a ton of bricks. “I love you, I love you _so_ much, just—“ The line cut out suddenly with a sharp _click_ , and I stopped short. I looked at the phone’s screen. There was no service. The lines must’ve gone out.

****

Jinseok rested a hand gently on my back and rubbed a slow circle there. I buried my face into my hands. No more sobs hit me, just slow, silent tears. He spoke in a comforting, low tone. “Hey... if that’s someone you’re looking for, we can help.”

****

What? Would they really? I brought my hands down slightly so I could look at him. He seemed serious. Nayoung stepped closer, kneeling at my other side, chiming in, “Yeah. We definitely aren’t leaving you by yourself with that foot. And I don’t think you’d be too willing to do anything besides go hunting for whoever that was.”

****

“I... but don’t you guys have people you want to find?” I asked softly, my voice ragged from the tears.

****

Jinseok shrugged his big shoulders, “Yeah, but we can find them after we get your person! Okay?” His smile was so impossibly comforting. I really didn’t know how I could ever repay these two. This went so much beyond basic help now. I owed them more than my life.

****

I just knew I needed to find Hyunjin, no matter what.


	7. Be Safe

_A bit earlier, on the other side of the city..._

**_Son Hyejoo is known as the “goth” around school, a standoffish demeanor warding most away. Her reputation as a troublemaker is just a front to conceal what she is worried will be seen as weakness. Though reserved on the outside, she is prone to paranoia and paralyzing fear._ **

They weren’t telling us anything. Soldiers in full gear, with guns and all, had rounded a bunch of us into the school, and they weren’t telling us anything. I’d been there for a mandatory tutor session. I had to do those now, and the senior who was helping me was only free in the evening. I wasn’t sure what the other kids were there for. Probably some stupid school event.

I didn’t know what to do except pace. I hovered as close as I could get to the soldiers, trying to eavesdrop and at least get _some_ information. We were all huddled in the cafeteria, with men with guns at all exits. I hated this. I felt so claustrophobic. I just wanted some answers - why were they here? Was something wrong? Why couldn’t we leave? Were we in danger? The other kids gave up trying, but my chest was only getting tighter and tighter the longer I went without an answer. They’d all sat down at the tables while I kept pacing, and I felt their eyes on me. I didn’t care, I was more than used to their staring. I still hated it, and it still made me anxious, but I’d gotten good at not letting that show through.

Finally, I’d had enough. If I didn’t get out of this damned room, I’d break down in tears. It felt like the walls were closing in on me.

I approached the nearest soldier, my hands already starting to tremble. “Excuse me sir, but can I go to the bathroom?” I made myself sound as innocent as I could. He didn’t even look at me, staring straight ahead like a mannequin.

“Civilians are to stay in this room.” He insisted, his voice nearly robotic.

We’d been there for over an hour. What did they expect us to do? He couldn’t say no forever. “Um, please? I-I really have to go. It’s right down the hall.”

He frowned, and his eyes moved to me. I stared up at him intensely, doing my best to hold my ground and not seem like he could shut me down without me putting up quite the fight. Inside, though? My whole body was starting to shake. Hard.

Right when the face I put on was about to fall, his gaze faltered. He side-stepped out of the way of the door he’d been blocking, speaking to me low and fast. “Go. Hurry. Be back here in two minutes, or it’s my ass on the line.” I just nodded, ducking into the hall. He shut the door behind me, trying to be discreet.

Once I was alone, I took a deep, quaking breath. I needed to get this under control. I couldn’t break down right now. This was far from the time, but I felt that familiar tightness in my chest. I didn’t actually have to go, but I went to the bathroom anyway. It was empty. The whole school was. I looked in the mirror and did my best to calm myself, turning on the water and just listening to the sound. It helped a little.

I tugged my phone from my pocket and tried to look at the news. There were tons of stories, but none of them made sense. They were all vague. Something about an “infection,” “chaos in the streets,” “military intervention.” I didn’t have enough time to read them - he’d come looking for me in a minute. But what did all that mean? From what I could skim from the articles, the reporters couldn’t get enough information either.

I heard something from down the hall. Something loud and sudden. Like a _pop_. I’d never heard one before, but I knew it was a gunshot. Uh-oh. Why was there a gunshot? I put my phone away and headed back into the hall, looking down toward the cafeteria. That’s where it’d come from. For a few seconds, I waited. Then I heard more. More shots, and glass shattering, and scattered screams and soldiers shouting commands.

He’d told me to go back to him, but...

I couldn’t do it. I didn’t care if I was a coward, or if that was foolish, but I just couldn’t bring myself to go back in. A primal fear consumed me, and I looked all over the hall. Where could I go? I didn’t want to run. So my only option was to hide. There were no good spots to do that in the bathroom. The nearest room to me was the music room. It’d have to do.

I burst through the door, shutting it behind me. It was empty in there. Music stands were lined up in rows in front of chairs, but no visible instruments were out. They had to be somewhere. Where would they be kept...?

I spotted the rows of big lockers on the other side of the room. I could fit in those, but I could tell I was running out of time. Those gunshots were getting more frequent, more intense, and I heard more and more screams. That was a bad sign. Why were people screaming, like they’d gotten hurt? What was going on? What was hurting them? Was it the soldiers?

I didn’t have time to wonder. I just rushed forward to those lockers and threw one of them open. A big cello was in it, or at least I thought it was a cello. I didn’t really know instruments. Not caring, I reached in and pushed it to the floor, ducking inside the locker where it had once been and shutting the door as best as I could from the inside. It was barely enough, so I had to hold it that way. I could see through small slats in the door, and I stared out at the room, holding my breath to listen as closely as I could.

The gunshots got louder and more pronounced. I heard more screams, screams of absolute terror and panic. My chest tightened. I knew those kids. They’d never been nice to me, but I knew them. And it sounded like... like they were _dying_.

The door to the music room was thrown open again, and I stiffened. A girl burst inside, eyes wide. There was a splatter of blood on her face. She was blonde, which stood out. I recognized her slightly. In the cafeteria, she’d stared at me for a while, but when I caught her, she’d shot me a slight smile and looked away. I appreciated it. People didn’t smile at me too often. I hadn’t smiled back, just because I was caught off guard, and I’d regretted it.

She was panicked - eyes wide, out of breath. I don’t know how I knew this, maybe I just sensed it, but she was being chased. Something was after her, and it was probably close. I looked at the locker I was in. There was space left.

She needed help. I pushed the door back open and whispered harshly, “Hey! In here!!” Her wide, frantic eyes moved to me, and although I could tell she wanted to take a second to be confused, she also knew she had no time to question. I reached my arm out to her, and she quickly closed the space, clasping my hand. I tugged her so hard she almost lost her footing, bringing her inside with me and shutting the door behind her.

[ ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D3Fw0fIWAAcZx4i.jpg)

_(fanart drawn by twitter user_<https://twitter.com/tamaraWEH>) 

I’d been right. Something had been after her, and if we’d been even a second longer, it would’ve seen us hide in here. It was... what _looked_ like a person, or what used to be one. Its skin was grey, its eyes white, and its exposed arms were littered with... bites? Were those bites? What had bitten him? Or... I guess it wasn’t a person anymore. Blood trailed from those wounds and down its arms, dripping from its fingertips and to the floor. There was also blood in its mouth, around its teeth.

It was frantic, hunched over, breathing irregularly and growling. It was searching for someone, probably this girl. She was shaking, I could feel it from how close we were in this tight space. Her fear was contagious, and despite having already been terrified, mine only got worse now. The thing stepped closer, its head twitching wildly, looking all over the room in a rush. The girl whimpered. It was quiet, but it was a noise. On instinct, my hand shot up and covered her mouth, meeting her eyes and wordlessly telling her to _shush._ I felt her fingers grab on tightly to my baggy hoodie, balling up fistfuls of it. If it helped her stay quiet, she could do that all she wanted.

I tensed up. The monster’s eyes fixed straight onto the locker. Oh no. Oh no no no. I pressed us further into the back of the small space, as if that would help if it saw.

It stared. And stared. And it’s head cocked at the locker, as if it had noticed something it hadn’t before. Shit shit _shit_. Her grip on me tightened further, tugging me to her. I shut my eyes, not wanting to look.

“We’ve got one in here!!” A voice called out from the hallway. I opened my eyes to look. It was a soldier, he was there, but he’d lost his gun somehow. The thing that had been closing in on us spun back around, its attention diverted. I pulled my hand from her mouth, watching as the soldier waited in the hall, looking desperately for some sort of backup as that _thing_ just charged at him. Nobody came. It was total chaos out there - students and soldiers alike just running for their lives. Nobody stopped or even gave him a second glance when that thing tackled him to the floor and sank its teeth right into his neck, ripping out a chunk of flesh as he squirmed and kicked and _screamed_. Oh my god.

“Don’t look,” The girl whispered so quietly I thought I may’ve imagined it. I glanced back at her. She was staring firmly at her own hands, her whole body still trembling. I wasn’t sure why, but I listened, instead reaching to clasp those hands with my own. She clung to them so tight it almost hurt.

The screams kept going. The gunshots kept sounding, but they got more and more scarce. I just wanted it to stop. I wanted all of this to stop. It felt like I couldn’t breathe, all of my inhales getting caught in my throat and my tightening chest. The panic was coming back. That godawful panic that was so hard to keep down. The tears stung my eyes. She noticed the way I was breathing, my distress - it was hard not to, and instead of saying anything or asking me what was wrong, she just moved and wrapped me in her arms. I barely even registered it, instead just focusing on keeping myself quiet. On getting it together.

I don’t know how long we stayed like that. It felt like forever, every second like a minute, every minute like an hour. The noise died down. Slowly, but it did. I think everyone ran outside, and whatever those monsters were just followed whatever drew their focus.

Eventually, it was silent. Dead silent. I took my first deep, real breath for what felt like forever, and it helped steady me. I blinked hard, fully processing that her arms were still loosely around my middle.

I squirmed away, coming to my senses, and just looked at her. She stared back, the fear still in her eyes, but the panic less so. I looked outside in to the room. Nobody was there. I listened, closely, but there was still nothing, even after I counted the seconds for two minutes.

“I... I think it’s safe...” I muttered softly.

“Are you sure?” She was cautious. I was too, but we couldn’t stay in here forever.

I didn’t answer, instead just reaching forward and pressing my palm against the door - pushing it open and taking a cautious step out. It was still silent. Still okay. I moved out further, making my steps light, and reached the door, shutting it gently. Okay. A bit safer.

“I-I’m... my name’s Chaewon.” She spoke up. I looked over my shoulder at her. She’d come out of the locker too, hugging herself.

**_Park Chaewon is a high school dropout turned delivery girl. She knows the city like the back of her hand, having been raised there and needing to know the layout for her job. She does quite well for herself, her only real persistent struggle being her loneliness._ **

I pressed my back against the door, facing her fully. “Hyejoo.” 

She walked forward, her body stiff and still on red alert. I was ready to bolt at the smallest sound of trouble, too. I was hesitant to trust this sense of safety. “Um... what should we do now?” She asked me that as if I’d know. I had no idea.

All I knew was how _confused_ I was. “What’s going on? What was that... that _thing_? Why did it...? That soldier, i-it— why—?” My chest was getting tight, but I swallowed down the panic somehow. It wasn’t the time, and I think my body knew that deep down.

She moved closer to me, gently clapping me by the arms, “Hey, hey, um... I don’t really know either, they... they burst in through the windows. There were... a lot, and I-I don’t know why, or where they came from, but... they just started _attacking_ people, so I ran.” I met her eyes again and stared. She wasn’t lying. She was scared, like me. One of us had to be brave, had to take initiative, but I wasn’t sure if I could do it, and I didn’t want to leave everything to her either.

“I think you were right to run...” I mumbled to myself.

She nodded slowly, “I... it would’ve seen me if you hadn’t helped. Thank you.”

As if I couldn’t have helped her. Like I’d just... leave her there. I stared at her hard, wondering if I hadn’t helped, if I hadn’t reached out, if she’d have been tackled in that hallway instead of the soldier. I... I didn’t even want to think about that. I was glad she told me not to look, even though I’d still seen... all that _blood._

“You’re, um... welcome.” I muttered, not knowing what else to say. Both of us were still shaking, partially from adrenaline, partially from fear. For a while neither of us said anything, still just staring. Listening. The silence lasted. Like not a single thing in this building was alive except for us.

She drew her hands away from me, “Okay... um... I think we should...” Her gaze flitted over my shoulder, to the door, but she didn’t move. She was still scared.

“...Go, yeah.” I was glad she was there. If I was alone, I... I seriously doubted I’d have ever even left that locker.

_(fanart drawn by twitter user<https://twitter.com/tamaraWEH>)_

She nodded again, and she finally reached past me, pressing against the door and opening it. Slow. Something was in the way. I stepped aside, turning to look, and saw it was a body.

I felt her hand clasp mine, and heard her voice again. “Don’t look.” I didn’t. Just kept my eyes forward, straight ahead. I didn’t look down at all the bodies I had to step over just to get into the hall, or the puddle of blood I heard my shoes splatter. My skin crawled, but I didn’t look. She didn’t either, sticking close to my side.

I glanced up and down the hall. There were so many _bodies_. I didn’t want to look, but it was hard not to when they were just... _everywhere_.

I pulled the collar of my shirt up and over my nose, the permeating stench of iron from all the blood making me feel sick. “Oh my god...”

“We have to get out of here.” She whispered, her voice trembling and weak.

“I... yeah, but... where should we go?” I had no clue. Absolutely no clue.

“I dunno. I... do you have anywhere you want to go?”

“I guess... no. But... I feel like we should find something. Like... in case one of those things comes back, something to use as a weapon.”

She agreed, “You’re right. But um... where, though?”

“The janitor’s closet.” I told her, already heading straight for it. It was down the hall, around the corner. The density of the bodies started to thin out - there were less corpses for us to step over. Shell casings scattered the floor alongside splotches of blood, but none of the soldier corpses had guns on them, I checked. Chaewon was at my heels, her grip on my hand not having faltered in the slightest. I was glad, honestly. It was somehow helping to keep me steady.

I grabbed the handle to the door and turned it. It just rattled, not budging. Locked. That was annoying. I turned to Chaewon, “Hey, do you have any bobby pins?”

She fumbled for a second, “U-uh, um, yeah I think so...” She reached up to her loose, sloppy bun, and rooted around in it for a moment before triumphantly pulling out two small pins and handing them to me with a faint smile.

I undid one, bending it so that it was one long, straight piece. Chaewon watched me with a tilted head, confused but intrigued. I bent the other pin into a right angle, kneeling down and slipping it into the lock to apply some pressure. I added the long pin along with it and started to fiddle with it, trying to undo the tumblers.

“Whoa, are you picking the lock?!” I barely processed what she said, focusing hard on the task at hand. It never got any easier. To answer her question, despite it being pretty self-explanatory, I nodded. “Where’d you learn to do that??” She was damn near-baffled. I guess it was a pretty odd skill to have.

I just shrugged, not wanting to tell her the truth. The truth was that getting into places I wasn’t supposed to be was sort of fun. Sometimes I’d get caught, which wasn’t the best outcome, but at least then my parents would actually pay attention to me instead of treating me like I didn’t exist. It was far from positive attention, but it was attention. They looked _at_ me instead of _through_ me, and that was all I asked for. To be acknowledged.

She didn’t press the issue and I was grateful for it. I didn’t feel like lying to her.

It only took a few more minutes for the lock to finally click. Thank god. It’d been a stubborn one. I’d started to doubt my ability to get it open. I went inside, Chaewon still at my back.

It was pretty bland in here. The permeating stench of bleach was surprisingly welcome compared to the lingering scent of blood that’d been plaguing us. There was a mop and a bucket on wheels in the corner, as well as some rags and sponges. But what caught my eye was an open tool box peeking out beneath one of the shelves of cleaning supplies.

I pulled it out in an instant, and for the first time that day, I finally felt lucky. There were plenty of tools, all of them varying levels of sharp, and/or not something you’d want to get hit in the head with. Chae knelt at my side, reaching into the box without hesitation and pulling out a long, pointed screwdriver. She clutched it to her chest, her shoulders relaxing every so slightly now that she knew she had something to fight back with. My eyes had been immediately drawn to the hammer, so I hefted its reassuring weight into my hands.

“Good. This is good.” Chaewon muttered to herself. I nodded in agreement, reaching into the tool box and tugging out a small pair of pliers as well as a hefty wrench. “What’re you taking those for?” She asked innocently, watching as I shoved the box back where it had been.

“They’re useful. Couldn’t hurt to have them.” I stood back up, having noticed the messenger bag that Chae had slung over her shoulder, and taking the liberty of moving to place them inside. She shifted, adjusting to their added weight. “Want me to carry that?” I offered, since it was my idea.

“No, I’ve got it...” We both hovered in silence. Neither of us wanted to go back into that hallway. Back into the rest of the school. Could you blame us? It was a bloodbath. “Um... so... I-I’m still not sure where we should go. I mean, my place is an option....? I have... I have a scooter?”

I still wasn’t sure either. I mean... I had a _few_ ideas of places that might not be the _worst_ to go, but... we were together, and... I didn’t want her to go anywhere, so it wasn’t up to just me.

“I think... maybe we should go to your place.” I told her, gently tossing my hammer between my hands. The silence of the building had been comforting once, for just a second, but now it was nothing but unsettling.

“Okay. Uh, follow me. It’s not far from here.” Despite telling me to follow her, she reached to clasp my hand. She lead me back into the hall, seeming more okay with taking the initiative since she was more or less forced to lead the way - I didn’t know where she lived. I tightened my grip on her once we were back in that hall, with the blood and the bodies and the stench of death. She squeezed my hand back, as if empathizing. She was in a similar position, I could tell, but she was putting on a brave face. I appreciated it more than she could know.

She led me through a series of halls out a back, side door. It seemed like she knew the layout of the school, but now that I thought about it, I couldn’t remember seeing her around. At least not this year. She looked vaguely familiar but I couldn’t place from where.

We came outside into an alleyway. I’d lost my bearings and sense of direction by that point, but she seemed totally aware of where we were. She looked to her right, so I did too, and I saw the main road. Oh. Shit.

It was chaos. I saw people running, just _running_ , some stumbling and tripping and falling over each other while more of those... _things_ fell down atop them, biting and scratching and _mauling_ —

“Don’t—“

“—Don’t look, I know.” I finished the warning for her, turning my gaze away and just staring down at our interlocked hands instead. I tightened my grip on the hammer. If any of them came, I’d use it.

“We can’t use the road. I know shortcuts through these buildings, I’d use them when it was cold out and I didn’t feel like walking.” She explained to me gently, as if I needed an explanation. It was comforting, somehow.

“Okay. Just... lead the way, I’m with you.” I squeezed her hand again, and she nodded, shooting me that slight smile. I did my best to return it that time.

She moved quick. Naturally, like she’d gone this path dozens and dozens of time before. The route was clearly engrained in her - the way she opened side doors you would’ve assumed to be locked, headed up and down staircases and darted across thin alleyways. If she hadn’t held onto me I may’ve lost track of her. She didn’t say a word, entirely focused, and I didn’t interrupt.

At a point, though, midway through one of those tight alleys, she stopped still. I almost bumped into her back from the abrupt halt, skidding on my heels. I didn’t understand why she’d done that, at first, but then I heard it too. The growling.

It was coming from the door right in front of us, and I could tell from the way her shoulders stiffened that we needed to go that way. It hadn’t heard us, from what I could tell. I pulled her close, whispering as faintly as I could so it wouldn’t hear, “Can we go another way?”

She shook her head, whispering back, “Not without going on the main road... it’s just a quick cut through. My apartment’s right on the other side.”

“We can sneak up.” I whispered gently, clutching my hammer with white knuckles. I sounded braver than I felt. Truthfully, I had no idea if I’d be able to keep it together, but I didn’t want to go on that main road.

“I-I... Okay...” She shifted her screwdriver, aiming the sharp point out and ready. For a few seconds, we just waited. Neither of us wanted to do this. We were scared. But we didn’t really have a choice. She was finally the first one to reach and pull the door open, slow, silent.

There was only one. It was a few steps inside, standing there, back hunched over and away from us. He twitched and convulsed, scratching at his neck. Just one. We could handle just one. Right?

Maybe I should do it. Chaewon has been taking the lead this whole time, maybe it was my turn. My fear had me rooted to the spot. I’d... never gotten that close to one before. I’d never hit anyone with a hammer before either, for that matter. What if I didn’t do it hard enough? What if it didn’t die? What if it lunged at us?

Chaewon stepped forward, her footsteps light, assuming I was leaving it to her, but I wasn’t. I grabbed her sleeve and she stopped in her tracks, looking at me. I pointed silently to my hammer, and she nodded, letting me go ahead. God I was _terrified._

I got closer. And closer. And _closer_ , the hairs on the back of my neck standing up, my whole body so stiff it felt like I couldn’t even move anymore by the time I’d reached it. I needed to do something. If it turned around, if it noticed me, I was done for.

Without letting myself think anymore, I brought my hammer back and down on its head as hard as I could. It’s skull cracked. I heard the bone. I couldn’t help but grimace, watching as it crumpled to the floor in a bloody heap. Blood had splattered onto my wrist and face. I tried to take a second to breathe, to just focus on the patterns of my inhales and exhales because I felt that panic again, but I didn’t have time for that. Because neither of us had noticed the other infected out of view in an adjacent room until it had run straight at me, slamming me into the nearest wall.

I was so stunned my grip on my hammer faltered. It fell, and there was nothing between me and this _thing_ anymore. I pressed against its chest with my hands, desperate to keep it from me. It’s teeth were at my neck, trying to sink in my skin. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t _breathe._ This was it, wasn’t it? I was going to die.

It stiffened suddenly, grunting in what I could tell was pain, and staggered away from me. Chaewon was behind it, screwdriver in hand. She’d sunken it straight into the thing’s spine, and it fell hard onto the floor, but she’d lost her weapon too. She noticed my hammer and picked it up, fast, moving to the monster and bringing the sharp end down right into its forehead. The skull caved in like it had with the first, blood pooling in the fresh hole.

I couldn’t breathe. I just couldn’t catch my breath, placing my hand onto my chest and trying _so_ hard. My eyes stung and I felt tears start to leave them because I was still so _scared._ Chae came up to me fast, gently clasping both of my arms.

“Hey, hey, shhh...” She muttered to me softly, trying desperately to soothe me. She looked over her shoulder and all around. It didn’t sound like there were any more. Her trembling, dainty hands reached up and wiped the tears from my cheeks, making me blush, “Shh, you’re okay, it’s okay, come on Hyejoo, we have to go. Just breathe, okay? Breathe with me.” She took a deep, exaggerated inhale and I did my best to mimic her, somehow finding that it actually helped. There was blood on her shirt now. From that thing. She’d killed it. I’d killed one too. God what the _fuck_ was going on??

I needed to get it together. I needed to, there was no time for this. Nodding, I mimicked her breathing again, getting enough air in my lungs for my chest to stop being so unbearably tight.

She noticed my composure returning, “There. Good, see? You’re okay, we’re okay...” She clasped my hand again, “Come on, my apartment’s in the next building.”

Chae’s apartment was... uh, small? I'm not sure how to word it... politely. Through all of our rushing, we’d gotten to the seedier parts of the city. Her place was little more than a single room, with a bed without a frame in the corner, a small table next to a sole countertop with a microwave on it, a rickety old fridge, and a few posters taped to the brown wallpaper. Despite being small, it felt... homey.

She locked the door behind us, moving to a small cabinet next to her fridge and throwing it open. She pulled out a bunch of food and supplies, tucking them into her bag. I noticed a small backpack next to the door, and I took the liberty of picking it up. She noticed, moving closer and adding some more things into it. I wasn’t sure if I should be impressed that she was thinking ahead, or worried. Did we really need food? How long was this going to last? If we did need food, this wasn’t enough. Would we have to get more? Where? How? When?

“Um... you said you had a scooter?” I asked her quietly, my voice still shaking from the panic attack I’d only barely fended off.

She moved to the sill of the small window in her room, and I noticed the rocks of varying sizes that lined it. When I stepped closer, I noticed they were all intricately painted with little swirls and designs, a few even had eyes and little smiles. Before I had a chance to look as thoroughly as I wanted, she was scooping them into her bag. There were a lot. I saw how much they weighed it down, and she noticed, taking some out and looking at them hard before setting them back on the sill. She didn’t even register my question. Instead, she started to sort through which to take and which to leave, growing more and more distraught with each passing second of intense deliberation.

“What’re these...?” I asked her cautiously. I still held my hammer, and she’d pried her screwdriver from that thing’s body before we left. They were bloody. I gently took it from her hand and grabbed a nearby paper towel, wiping them off. I was sick of all this damn blood all over everything.

“They’re um...” She chuckled slightly, but it was hollow, “It’s stupid, they’re... my pets.” She muttered her confession so softly I almost couldn’t hear it.

“Pets?” The rocks? Were her pets? Like, actually?

She sniffled slightly, and I realized just how distraught she really was. Oh. Oh no. “I-I, yeah, I... I really love animals, a-and having pets, but... my um...” She looked around her apartment. At the cracks in the ceiling and the water damage in the floor and the window’s glass that had a huge split down the middle. I understood why. She didn’t have the money for a pet. That made sense, but she didn’t want to say so. “... my landlord doesn’t allow them.” She was lying. That was okay. She didn’t have to tell the truth, not about this.

She was still just trying to sort through which ones to bring. It was hard for her, I could tell. Finally, I just reached over, picking up the ones remaining on the sill and loading them into my backpack instead. She didn’t have to leave any. It was the least I could do.

She blinked at me a few times in awe, her appreciation written all over her face. “Thanks...” She sniffled again, her composure returned, “Um... yes, I have a scooter. Like, a motorized scooter. It’s for my job, I-I do deliveries all over the city. Work paid for half of it, and I’m still paying off the rest, but... I don’t think that matters anymore, huh?” She opened a small chest at the foot of her bed, pulling out an evergreen hoodie. Oh. She wanted to change. I spun around, covering my eyes for good measure without needing to be asked.

“That’s good, um, do you think we could use it to get out of the city?”

I heard the chest shut, but I didn’t turn around or reveal my eyes until she told me I could, “I’m done. Um, also - out of the city? Is that the goal now? Are you sure you don’t have anyone you want to--”   
  


“--No. There’s no one.” I didn’t care how bleak that sounded. It was true. I also didn’t like how much pity was showing in her eyes when I turned back to look at her. “What about you?” For a while, we just stared at each other. Her hair was sort of messy from having changed so quickly, a few strands coming out of her bun and framing her round cheeks. Then she shook her head. Okay. So neither of us had anyone. That was probably good, actually - we didn’t have to go hunting for our loved ones or whatever. We could just leave.

“Okay. Well... you can stay with me. I-If you want, I-I mean, you don’t have to, I could drop you off somewhere else if you--”

“--No, I-I want to stay with you.” I wasn’t sure where that’d come from, but it was the truth. Her face fell slightly. I think I even saw her blush, but I may’ve imagined it. “Um... I just think we should get out of the city, cuz, um, it’s... it seems crazier here. There’s so many people around. Yaknow?”

“Yeah, that makes sense... um, come on, my scooter is outside.” She held her hand out to me, and I wordlessly understood that she wanted her screwdriver back. I handed it to her, and clasped my hammer again. These things had already saved our lives once. I was glad I’d thought to get them. She held my hand tightly again, leading me out the door and down the hall. Her apartment was on the first floor. So the garage was right nearby, thankfully. I was sick of dodging through alleys and shortcuts, I just wanted a straight path for once.

She cautiously pushed a heavy looking door open, a brisk fall breeze making me shudder slightly. Her scooter was there. It was propped up against the wall, a helmet on the seat.

We walked to it, and she set our bags in the small compartment that was attached to the side. She picked up the helmet and I expected her to put it on, but she instead handed it to me. I raised an eyebrow at her.

“I want you to be safe.” She told me softly.

“But... that means you _won’t_ be safe.” I pointed out. She faltered, but didn’t give in. She really wanted me to wear it.

No. She’d already protected me enough, it was her turn to be the safe one. Plus, she was driving. I reached, as if to take it from her, but just pushed it back into her hands. Her brow knitted together, clearly conflicted, but I wasn’t going to take no for an answer and she must’ve been able to tell.

“Fine...” She slipped it over her head, lifting the visor so she could look at me as she got onto the scooter. I hovered for a few seconds before sitting behind her, the engine starting with keys she unearthed from her pocket. She looked slightly over her shoulder at me, “Hang on, okay? I dunno how crazy it’s gonna be out there...” I nodded weakly, finally reaching forward and wrapping my arms around her middle. It was hard to put my head anywhere besides nestled right into the back of her shoulder, so I guessed that was where it was gonna have to go. God, why did two people riding on a scooter/motorcycle have to be so damn _intimate_? “I’m gonna try to take side roads as often as I can. But who knows, those might be just as bad as the main ones.”

The engine revved and the scooter lurched forward, slow at first, but then picking up speed once she turned onto a real road. Oh boy. Okay. Wind rushed through my hair and I squinted from the cold air blowing straight in my eyes. She’d flipped her visor back down by then, so she didn’t have the same problem, thankfully. She definitely needed to see the road more than I did.

Cars sped by us in a flurry, a lot of them not even staying on their side of the road. Some ran _over_ people, not caring, others just hit some so they went flying off to god knows where. I watched as a car with what I could tell was one of those things in the back seat swerved and crashed straight into a building, the whole front half of the vehicle just crumpling up like a piece of paper. Chaewon was going fast enough so I didn’t have much time to look at all the horrifying things happening on all sides, and I was silently thankful for it.

She bobbed and weaved between car wrecks and piles of bodies, narrowly avoiding unpredictably swerving vehicles and people darting into the middle of the road. It was the intersections that scared me the most, because we didn’t really have time to stop and look both ways. She just had to floor it and hope for the best, because the noise from our motor attracted a few of the things to us whenever we slowed down for even a moment. The streets were flooded with them, as well as a few desperate people trying to fight them off as best as they could, but it was no use. They should’ve just run. If a platoon of heavily armed soldiers couldn’t keep them out of a high school cafeteria, what were the chances that a businessman with a pistol could save his ass from being mauled in the middle of the road?

We had so many close calls. Too many. All I could really do was tighten my grip on her and hold on for dear life, praying to anything and everything that might’ve been listening. She was doing really well, she’d clearly gotten good at driving this thing, even in rough conditions. But nobody ever could’ve been prepared for conditions like this, and our luck had to run out eventually.

A car sped right past us at an intersection, almost clipping the front of the scooter, and although Chaewon managed to break in time to not plow into it, there had been someone behind us. They’d been in just as much as a blind rush as we had, and didn’t notice us stop. They crashed against us, _hard,_ and the scooter spiralled out, pushed forward into the middle of the intersection. Chaewon went over the handlebars and I fell hard off the side, onto unforgiving pavement littered with bullet casings and shattered glass. The car that hit us didn’t stop for even a second. The last thing I saw in my splotchy vision as my head throbbed and burned from pain was it speeding past us down the road.

Then everything went dark.


	8. Compromise

_Meanwhile, back in a barricaded dorm room..._

**_Jungeun_ **

Jinsol sat on the floor, still staring at Yujin’s body with a dropped jaw. Tears streamed down her cheeks, but she didn’t say a word. The infected kept pounding hard against the door, and although I thought it’d hold, that wasn’t my main concern. Jiwoo wasn’t here, which meant she was somewhere else - without me there to keep these things from her. My stomach was in knots. God, I should’ve visited more. What if something had happened to her? I hadn’t seen her in almost a year now. I’d had chances, but I hadn’t taken them. She should’ve been my priority, goddamn it, and now it might’ve been too late.

I dug through her desk frantically, looking for something, _anything_ that might tell me where she’d be. Finally, I found a planner, left forgotten and discarded under a pile of glittery stickers. Good. A planner. Really though? Jiwoo was such a mess, she had a planner? I quickly thumbed through it, only to see that it was totally empty. Yep, that made more sense. I groaned in frustration, thinking it was another dead end, only for a small sticky note to fall out from between the pages.

It was an address, and a name: Daesuk Min. She’d doodled little music notes all over it. I did another sweep of the room. I didn’t see her guitar anywhere. Music lessons. She went to a music lesson, of _course_ , I should’ve thought of that.

I walked back over to Jinsol, looking down at her. “Hey. I’m leaving. If you want to stay here, you’re welcome to, but I wouldn’t recommend it.” I hefted the weight of my rifle back into my hands, having tucked the address into my pocket.

She blinked twice, looking up at me with raw eyes. She was still stunned. Maybe... maybe I should’ve been gentler about how I’d handled things with Yujin. But it was too late now. I didn’t know enough about the infected to take a risk like that.

“Do you want to come with me? Or do you have somewhere else you have to be?” I asked her, wondering if she was even in a state to answer any of my questions.

“You killed my friend.” She muttered, her voice bitter and tinged with resentment.

I couldn’t help but scoff, “I saved your ass.” I corrected her, reaching down and grabbing her shoulder to tug her to her feet. She staggered up, swaying, unsteady. “Look, I’m sorry I guess, but there was nothing else I could’ve done--”

“--You could’ve let me _say something_ to her! Like... goodbye, o-or _something_!” She was shouting. Glaring at me. All of her sadness and grief seemed to be turning into just pure _anger_ , and all of it was directed straight at me.

I matched her gaze, not backing down despite the way she got right in my face. She was far from intimidating even with the inch or so she had on me. Her glare was coupled with glossy eyes and a quivering lip, so yeah, I wasn’t quaking in my boots or anything. Instead I pitied her. This girl hadn’t known anything about the infection, she’d been thrust into this blind, and suddenly lost her friend. I tried to empathize instead of getting mad right back at her - that wouldn’t get us anywhere and I knew that. Without me, she was done for. I wasn’t going to abandon her, even if she was pissed. That just wouldn’t sit right with me.

“I’m sorry.” I changed my tone, swallowing down my sarcasm. Because I _was_ sorry, sorry her friend had gotten bitten and we’d been stuck in this situation, not that I’d shot her. Sorry that she had to mourn now, for someone way too young - someone Jinsol definitely hadn’t been ready to lose.

Her face fell. The anger dissipated into thin air just as quickly as it’d manifested. We didn’t have to get along, necessarily, but we couldn’t afford to be at each other’s throats if I wanted to get to Jiwoo.

Jinsol sniffled, rubbing at her eyes and nodding ever so slightly. That was as much acceptance as I was going to get, and that was fine. I walked over to the bed where Yujin’s body still laid, reaching to a blanket and laying it over her. It was the most respectful thing I could think to do, and even though she didn’t say anything, I could tell Jinsol appreciated the gesture.

“W-where are you going...?” She asked me, her voice small.

“I need to find my friend. She’s not here, but I think I found out where she might’ve gone.” I pulled the address from my pocket and showed it to her, wanting us to be on the same page. “I need to get to her. Do you want to come with me, or not? After I find her, I could take you to your parents’ place or something.” I offered a compromise, a potential incentive to get her to cooperate.

She shook her head, “T-they don’t live here. I’m from out of town.”

“Well honestly, after I get my friend we’re probably heading out of town too. The last place we should be is in this hellscape of a city, and since I’ve basically gone totally AWOL, I’m not going back to my post.” I walked over to the window. It was only a little bit above the ground, it wouldn’t hurt to jump out it. It led to what looked like a courtyard - the main section of campus.

“U-um... okay... then yeah, I guess I’ll come.” She still held onto the knife I’d given her, which I’d nearly forgotten about. It was spotless, she definitely hadn’t used it.

“Alright. C’mon, we’re going this way.” I pushed the window open, vaulting over the sill and outside. She followed every step of the way.

The courtyard was empty. Mysteriously so. I could tell that it was normally packed with people, but now there was nothing. A laptop laid abandoned and tipped over underneath a tree, a backpack’s contents spilled out across this otherwise spotless pathway. Jinsol didn’t like it either, I could tell from how she stiffened. It was probably even more unsettling for her, since she went here and was used to it in its normalcy.

When I started to walk again, heading back to the shitshow that was the main road, Jinsol caught me off guard by grabbing my arm to hold me in place, “Wait.” I turned to her, confused, only to see her pointing inside a nearby building.

It was another dorm. On one of the upper floors, you could see a girl through the big, floor length windows. She was cornered by three infected in one of the communal lounges. I was sure that I was about to witness her get mauled to shreds, but surprisingly, she surged forward and sucker punched one of them so hard in the face that it crumpled to the floor like a sack of potatoes. Whoa. She was _strong_. But there were still two others.

“We have to help her!” Jinsol spoke firmly, her grip on my arm wrenching.

“What??” My eyes were glued to the scene. The girl jumped out of the way and tried to book it toward the exit, but the other one cut her off before she could get out. She tried another door, presumably to a dorm room, but it was locked.

“She needs help!! Shoot them, you’ve got a rifle!!” Jinsol insisted, shoving me slightly. I just stared, not sure what I should do. That girl could hold her own, definitely, but she wasn’t invincible. And she was trapped.

Fuck, Jinsol was right - she needed help. I wasn’t up for watching another girl die. I’d seen enough death for one day. Hell, for a lifetime. I raised my rifle, peering down the sights. The infected were moving an awful lot. I didn’t want to miss, and I knew that the shot would be loud. If possible I only wanted to do this once.

One of them moved to grab her, and she held it at bay, also thankfully keeping it in place just long enough for me to get a good shot. I put my crosshairs right over the infected’s head, held my breath, and pulled the trigger. My bullet tore through the glass, shattering it into shards and finally piercing through the thing’s skull. It fell hard, the girl flinching from the loud noise of the gunshot and the glass abruptly breaking. Now there was only one with her, which she could probably handle, right? We were done helping?

Another one burst through the door from the hall. Shit. _Shit_. The girl looked out the window, spotting us with wide eyes. I think she was trying to tell us wordlessly that she might _not_ be okay just yet. The one who’d just arrived charged straight at her, and I couldn’t help but tense up, barely even wanting to look. But instead of letting herself be pushed, or even getting out of the way, she stood her ground, grabbed it by the front of its shirt, and used its own momentum to toss it out the window. It fell the few stories down to the pavement and landed in one big, gruesome splatter.

“We’ve got to get up there!” Jinsol told me, already rushing forward all on her own. I understood wanting to help, but we _had_ helped. What more did she want us to do?

It was only when I listened a bit closer that I understood _why_ she wanted to get out of this open courtyard so bad. The shot. It’d drawn infected, I’d known it would, but I hadn’t expected it to be so soon. Or for so many to have swarmed at us. They were rushing over from the main road in a terrifying pack, there must’ve been six or seven of them at least. Shit. Jinsol had the right idea after all. She was halfway to the building by the time I caught up. We had a better chance of keeping them away if we were inside, not just standing here on display.

She got there first, holding the door open for me as I dove inside. I spun to help her slam it shut. It wasn’t that sturdy. We’d thankfully managed to get a head start, but we didn’t even know if there were more infected in the building yet, so I felt far from safe.

“Get something study! We can put it in the handles, keep it from opening!!” I told Jinsol, for now just hoping that my body pressing against the door as hard as I could would be enough on its own. She nodded, moving to look around the lobby we’d burst into. There wasn’t much, and I didn’t blame her for struggling to find something, but we didn’t have time for this. They finally reached the door and slammed themselves into it, pushing and pressing and pounding against the metal. Shit shit shit. I was _not_ strong enough. “ _Jinsol!!_ ”

“I’m _looking_ , I-- oh!” In a second she’d rushed back to my side, a police baton in her hand. A baton?? That’d actually be useful for things besides blocking this door, but it’d have to do for now. I swiped it from her grasp and shoved it in between the handles. Okay. That’d at least buy us some time before they rattled it loose. Jinsol gently rested her hand on my arm, finally drawing my gaze away from the door, “You okay?”

I blinked hard, snapping myself out of it and doing my best to catch my breath. “Yeah. Upstairs?” She just nodded, already on her way. She held the knife with confidence, but I had a feeling she wasn’t ready to actually use it. I highly doubted she’d stabbed anything before, let alone something that looked an awful lot like a person.

The girl had been on the third floor. I took the steps two at a time just to catch up, not wanting Jinsol to get too far ahead for me to keep her safe. She seemed so determined, so dead set on getting to that girl. It was admirable. Unexpectedly selfless. Either way, I didn’t want her doing anything reckless. All she had was a knife she didn’t know how to use. One wrong move, one set of teeth sinking anywhere into her skin, and I’d have to...

I already felt bad enough for killing Yujin - shooting Jinsol was just out of the question. I... honestly, I didn’t think I’d be able to do it, which was strange. With Yujin I hadn’t flinched. I hadn’t known her. Not to say I _knew_ Jinsol, but... I felt like I owed her. Why, I’m not sure. She’d agreed to help me look for Jiwoo, maybe that was it. Yeah, I could’ve probably found the dorm by myself eventually, but... it was nice of her, regardless. And I couldn’t repay this weird debt I felt if she was dead, so I had to keep her alive.

We burst through the door into the lounge we’d seen the girl in and I assessed the situation in an instant. She was cornered, but she had one of the infected in a choke hold - shielding her body with its body, another infected unable to figure out how to get its teeth at her because of the barrier of flesh in its way. Wow. Not only was that really really smart, but she’d need some serious strength to pull that off. I saw the way her bicep bulged. She’d only just broken a sweat.

“Jinsol, the knife!” I told her, holding out my hand for it. She misinterpreted what I meant, and instead of handing it to me she rushed forward, sinking the blade up to the hilt into the thing’s spine. Its back arched and it growled gutturally, but instead of pulling the blade back out, Jinsol just wrenched the knife upward, _hard_ , digging the serrated edge up further into its skin. Whoa. The brutality of the attack threw me for a bit of a loop for a second.

A sudden, loud _crack_ sounded and echoed through the room. I looked toward the mystery girl, only to see that she’d literally snapped the neck of the infected she’d been clinging to. It fell, dead. I just stood there, stunned, still holding my rifle, amazed I hadn’t had to fire another bullet.

The girl stepped over the fresh corpse, toward the two of us. “Thanks. I’m Hyunjin.” She extended a sizeable hand to us, and I reached to shake it. Her grip was impressively firm, but I guess I shouldn’t have really been surprised.

“Jungeun.”

Jinsol shook her hand as well, “And I’m Jinsol. Are you alright?”

Hyunjin brushed some hair out of her face, only slightly out of breath. “Yeah. Things got a bit hairy, but I’m fine.”

I stepped closer, knowing I needed to ask this, “Any bites?” I felt Jinsol’s gaze turn to me from the question. She knew what the consequences of a yes answer were, now.

“No.” Hyunjin answered bluntly, and Jinsol’s shoulder untensed from the response. “Not for lack of trying, though, damn.” She was splattered with blood, but from what I could tell none of it was hers. “I--”

Her words halted, and we all froze from the sound of what I knew was doors being broken through downstairs. The baton must’ve come loose. Shit. That meant that all of those infected were heading straight for us. Hyunjin must’ve been able to infer that, too, because she moved to one end of the large couch in the room and started to push it toward the door without hesitation. It budged, but slowly, so I quickly moved to help her, and felt Jinsol pulling the other end. It was heavier than it looked, but if the infected really wanted, they could still get in. It wasn’t a permanent solution. Sure enough, in a few seconds we heard their footsteps rushing up the stairs, and then their fists rabidly pounding against the door.

Okay. Great. Now we were trapped.

“A-alright, uh,” I looked around the room, fast, trying to find something we might be able to tie together to make a sturdy enough rope. The window was still open from where I’d shot through the glass. A cold air rushed in at us, making me tremble. We had to get out there. The courtyard was clear now, since we’d managed to lure all the infected into the building, albeit unintentionally. If we had something like clothes, we could tie them together, but I didn’t see any in there. Maybe in one of the dorm rooms? “We need something to make a rope.”

Jinsol nodded - instantly understanding my intentions without any further explanation - and started to search. I walked up to the nearest door, the one Hyunjin had tried earlier. When I turned the knob it just rattled. Locked. I thrust the butt of my rifle into it once, twice, three times until it finally gave and busted off. I kicked in the door and rushed inside, Hyunjin at my heels.

The dresser was the first thing I went to, throwing the drawers open and taking out any clothes that seemed durable - that would hold our weight at least long enough for us to get down. Hyunjin helped me, though her movements were slowed, like she was carefully considering what she was doing. Weird. What did she have to consider? She helped me as I frantically tied the sleeves into the best knots I knew, and her muscles tugged to make them even tighter than I could. Okay. Pretty soon, we’d have something long enough to get us somewhere. Jinsol barged in at a point, noticing our impromptu art project and joining in to speed things up. With the three of us we made progress, but it was nerve wracking to say the least. We had to put our weapons down to do this, and the infected were still relentlessly pounding against the door.

Suddenly, I heard it start to splinter. Shit. We didn’t have much time. I looked at how long the clothes-rope we made was. It’d have to be enough. If we had to drop half a story, well then fuck it, we had to drop half a story. We’d live, and we’d be out of this damn building, with no bites. I just hefted it into my hands and rushed toward the open window, the other two following. It was only when I anchored the rope firmly on a weighty TV stand that Hyunjin spoke up.

“I can’t leave.” Her voice was unwavering and determined. She didn’t even sound scared.

Jinsol looked at her like she was crazy, and the feeling was more than mutual on my end, “What?! You want to _stay_ here?!”

Hyunjin crossed her arms, “I’m supposed to meet someone here. So I can’t leave.”

I scoffed, “Um, newsflash, I think that meeting is probably cancelled considering the circumstances.”

Hyunjin rolled her eyes and sneered slightly, not appreciated the sarcasm, “No. My girlfriend and I got separated when those things attacked us, and I said I’d meet her here. So I can’t leave - what if she shows up?” Oh. That made some more sense, at least, but still. Staying here was practically a death sentence at this point.

“Well you better damn well hope she _doesn’t_ show up, because this whole campus is infested. When do you think she’d get here - where did you guys get separated?” I had a lot more questions than she had time to answer, and we both were frustratingly aware of that. Jinsol had already grabbed the rope and I could tell how antsy she was to start descending it, but she didn’t want to leave Hyunjin here. After all the trouble we’d gone through to save her ass, I wasn’t too keen on letting her throw her life away unless it was for a damn good reason.

“At her work - a restaurant. She got trapped in the kitchen. There was a fire, and those things overwhelmed me so I had to go. I told her I’d meet her here. So I’m waiting.”

I blinked twice. Had I heard that right? “Wait, so, she was trapped. In a kitchen. That was on fire. Alone. With infected everywhere.” She nodded, her face unchanging. Did she...? Really not hear herself? How implausible it sounded that this girlfriend had survived that situation? Oh. Maybe she was in denial. I mean... I’d just met her literally ten minutes before, I really didn’t feel like it was my place to interfere in a case of denial of a loved one’s death. When I looked at Jinsol and saw the confliction on her face, I could tell she felt the same way. But we needed to _go_.

Hyunjin was stubborn. It didn’t take much to be able to see that. So reasoning with her seemed a bit out of the question, I didn’t want to leave her there to die, and I had a feeling that being hostile toward her would end with a fist to my face. All I could think with my limited time and the sound of the infected breaking the door down echoing in my brain was to try and come up with some sort of compromise. Fast.

“We can’t stay here. Those things are gonna get in, and then what’ll you do, huh? Punch them to death?” Her face faltered slightly at the question, knowing that the odds of her fighting them off was pretty low. Good. So she wasn’t totally immune to rationalization. “Your girlfriend might come here. Yeah, true, sure...” That felt like I was lying. But maybe catering to her denial would help, somehow? Make it seem like I was on her side? “So maybe if we wait somewhere nearby, we’ll see her coming? And then stop her before she comes into this building? “ This was a lie too, honestly. I didn’t plan on sitting around in some building waiting for a girl to rise from her grave and miraculously find her way across the city. But we’d have more time to think and inevitably argue in a place that wasn’t about to get flooded with infected.

She pursed her lips, narrowing her eyes at me. I kept my face as straight as possible, not wanting her to see through this ruse. I was pretty good at lying, thankfully, so it was at least believable enough for her to buy it. Phew.

“Fine. Let’s go.” As soon as Jinsol heard the confirmation, she started to rappel down the side of the building. I felt the tightness in my chest lighten slightly once she was officially out of the room and out of those things’ reach if they barged in.

I looked back toward the door. Some of them had ripped off a chunk of the wood and were reaching their hands through, breaking a split down the middle since they couldn’t push it open due to the couch. Shit. It wouldn’t be long.

“Go.” I told Hyunjin firmly, pointing toward the rope. She looked at it, then the door, then back at me, clearly considering whether or not she should insist I go first. I didn’t give her the chance. “ ** _Go_** _._ ” Surprisingly, she listened - gripping onto the rope and going down after Jinsol. I didn’t hear any sorts of screams or panicked dismay, so presumably the rope was long enough.

I waited a few more dreadfully long seconds, watching their rabid hands clawing desperately at the inside of the door. Finally, once I’d assumed I’d given them both enough time to get to the ground, I shrugged my rifle to my back and grabbed the rope with both hands, descending down as quickly as I could. Almost as soon as I was out of that room, I heard the door give way. Infected footsteps charged in and I tensed up, silently grateful that they were all too stupid to make the connection to the rope. If they’d had more than half a brain they’d just break it, and I’d be done for, but instead they blindly rushed straight out the window. One, then two, then three lunged out, falling past me onto the pavement, before the rest finally seemed to figure out that wasn’t a good idea. I vaguely heard Jinsol yelp somewhere below me, and I scooted down even faster.

The rope finished about half a story below the ground, and I lowered myself as much as I could before letting go. My feet crunched onto shattered glass and recently added gore from the idiotic infected who’d jumped blindly from three stories up. I grimaced and kicked what I thought was a piece of a jaw off my boot. Hyunjin had moved to the door they’d pushed open and shut it again, seeming frustrated that there was no way to properly barricade it from the outside. Jinsol had gotten seriously splattered with some of those infected and was disgusted, her nose wrinkled up and her lips curled into a sneer. Oof, yikes.

“Yum.” I muttered, walking up to her and brushing some blood off her face with my glove. She just stood there, stiff, not wanting to move an inch. I don’t think she appreciated my comment.

Hyunjin came back to us, “Okay. Where are we waiting?”

Oh. Right. Now was the time I was supposed to tell her we weren’t actually going to do that, and Jinsol and I had somewhere to be. But I hesitated. Shit, how would I word this?

“C-can I _please_ find something to wipe this stuff off?” Jinsol muttered pleadingly, moving her lips as little as possible because even those had blood on them.

That... was a very valid request. From what I’d heard from my superiors when I got debriefed, infected blood didn’t actually do anything to you in terms of passing on the virus, but damn was it nasty. I felt bad, it was pretty pitiful to look at this poor girl, splattered from her feet to her neck with blood and gore. Yeah. I could clean her up. Fine, we’d take a short break. This hadn’t been part of my plan, but... maybe this would get rid of that stupid feeling I still had - the one that made me think I owed Jinsol something.

But I hadn’t answered Hyunjin’s question. A particularly imposing building to our left stood out. I pointed to it, asking Jinsol lightly, “What’s that?”

She shuffled awkwardly to turn, still wanting to move as little as possible, “The library.”

What caught my eye was the large window on the second floor. Not only did it stare out into the courtyard so Hyunjin could keep an eye on the dorm building, but from what I could see inside with the dim lighting, there were no infected. On that floor, at least. Good. It was probably our best bet.

“Okay, c’mon.” I led the way, bringing my rifle back into my hands. Jinsol grumbled and groaned in disgust once she finally had to start walking and I understood why - I could practically hear the squelching noise that her body made when she moved. She’d gotten nearly drenched. Maybe there’d be some extra clothes in the library too, somewhere? I could only hope.

The door didn’t make noise as it squeaked, and when I saw the inside, I froze. It was dark. Like, really really dark. The only light coming in was from street lamps beaming through the occasional window, and it wasn’t much. Was the power out or something? I took a small step in, not making a sound. Hyunjin and Jinsol followed, our blood-covered companion taking up the middle while Hyunjin held the rear.

I caught a glimpse of something light on the other side of the room, and I squinted to look. Oh. It was a laptop screen, still on and blaring at full brightness left knocked over on the floor. That wasn’t what caught my attention though. What did was the absolute _horde_ of infected all hovering around it in a circle, staring at the light as if entranced. Whoa.

It was okay, they hadn’t seen us. So... they were drawn to light, then? What other reason would they possible have to stare at the screen like that? Either that or... they couldn’t see in the dark? I looked around. Like I’d said, all the lights were off. Maybe they’d been drawn to it because it was the first thing they could see. Alright, that was good to know. If my theory was right, that meant that if we just stuck to the shadows and kept quiet, we might be able to sneak by them without an issue. I spotted a staircase on the other side of the room. It was a pretty straight shot - no infected in the way since they were all preoccupied with that laptop. As long as we didn’t make a sound, we could get there.

I turned toward Jinsol and Hyunjin, not even wanting to whisper because I wasn’t sure how sensitive their hearing was. Instead, I pointed at the laptop, then to my eyes, then at the lights turned off on the ceiling. Thankfully, they both seemed to understand my convoluted game of charades, because they nodded. Maybe they’d already had that suspicion themselves. The only other thing I needed to tell them was to _shush_ , so I put a single finger over my lips, crouched down, and started moving.

I didn’t go too fast. Sometimes the buckles on my pouches of ammunition would rattle, or my gun would shift the wrong way and it’d make a small clicking noise. None of that. I didn’t want to take any risks here. The others didn’t really have anything on them that’d make too much noise, and if Jinsol walked slow enough her clothes wouldn’t make that gross squelching sound.

It was slow-going, but okay. At some point, one of the infected seemed to get distracted and turned around, right in our direction, and I froze on instinct, but it didn’t rush us. It didn’t growl or yell or start running, it just stared blankly. We were in the shadows - it couldn’t tell. I felt Jinsol loosely grip the back of my jacket, tense and terrified. I understood why. It was pretty unsettling to look straight into one’s eyes, and really just... see how empty they were.

We were about halfway to the stairs. Good. Okay.

Suddenly, some random chorus of marimbas started blaring.

Oh. Oh fuck, what?! A phone. A phone was ringing. We all froze solid, and I looked to where it was coming from. Hyunjin’s pocket. Her phone was ringing, and it was _loud_.

We didn’t have time. They’d definitely heard it. I reached frantically to Hyunjin and ripped the phone from her pocket. At first she tried to fight me, she even clasped my wrist, but I used absolutely all of my strength to break away and instead hurl the phone as far as I could. It went flying, hitting a wall somewhere, still ringing the whole way. I _prayed_ the infected would veer from their course, to run toward the phone instead of at us, to have my theory about noise and sight be correct--

\--and it was. Thank _god_. Their hungry, rabid attention followed that phone, rushing in their unorganized pack right after it and practically scrambling over on top of each other to get to the source of the noise. We’d gotten lucky. Way too lucky, in way too little time. I just didn’t trust it. We needed to move.

I grabbed Jinsol and stood out of my crouch, rushing to those stairs as fast as I could. Hyunjin was with us, I could hear her footsteps. The infected were so distracted by the phone, they somehow didn’t even notice our running. More luck. I knew we’d run out of it at some point.

We burst through the door to the second floor, my eyes adjusting to the dim light. Hyunjin slammed it firmly, not bothering to barricade it that time, because she was too focused on getting _right_ in my face.

“ _Why did you do that?_ ” She asked me through clenched teeth, a rage behind her eyes that made me almost want to cower. I forced myself to stand my ground.

“Do what?” I noticed Jinsol in my peripherals, eyes wide, staring at the two of us and probably wondering what on earth she’d be able to do if things escalated.

“You threw my phone. That was _my_ phone, I didn’t even get to see who was calling.” She stepped closer, glaring so intensely it was like she could burn holes through me.

“It was ringing, the infected would’ve made a beeline right for us, and then we’d all be fucked!” I explained, not sure if I should glare back or not. I opted for being straight-faced, like I was just telling her the facts, because I _was_. I wasn’t trying to be an asshole, really, I was just trying to keep us all safe.

“That’s _my_ phone. _My_ choice.” She jabbed a finger forward, poking my chest, “ _I_ make my choices with _my_ shit, you’re _not_ in charge of my just because you’ve got a big _gun_.” She actually shoved forward, and I staggered a bit.

“Whoa, don’t fucking push me!” I told her, feeling my blood start to boil.

Jinsol surged closer, pressing lightly against both of our shoulders and standing between us, “Hey, hey, hey. We don’t need to be fighting each other right now, don’t be stupid. C’mon. We have _enough_ on our plates already!” She’d left small streaks of blood from where she’d touched us. Her hands were still tainted with it.

She was right. Hyunjin and I weren’t stupid, we were just angry. There was a difference, and Jinsol’s interference was actually enough to snap us out of it a bit. Tensions were high. The air was heavy.

Hyunjin sighed, still frustrated, “Look, thanks for helping me, but I just need to wait here. Okay? For my girlfriend, she’s coming, and she _probably_ tried to call me but _you_ just _had_ to--”

“--Hey.” Jinsol spoke again, interrupting what may’ve been a downward spiral right back into irrational anger and frustration.

Hyunjin stopped, raising her hands up in defense and taking steps away from me. The distance seemed to help slightly. “What the fuck ever. I’ve had enough of this shit, I _don’t_ need your guys’ help anymore.” She walked off, toward the window not too far away, and stared out it with her arms crossed. Great. She was still fuming, but she was keeping it to herself at least.

Jinsol just sighed heavily, “There’s a bathroom down the hall. I’m gonna get cleaned up, okay?” I just nodded, watching her go.

I couldn’t leave it with Hyunjin like this. I needed to talk to her, at least try to fix things. If I didn’t, she might actually stay here, by herself, endlessly waiting for someone who just wasn’t going to come. I didn’t know her. Hell, I didn’t even really know Jinsol either, but that didn’t mean I wanted either of them to die. Hyunjin could take care of herself, that much was pretty evident, but she didn’t _have_ to, was the thing. We could all help each other. I just... needed to talk some sense into her, right? Which... might be hard.

Even though she was acting tough, like she wouldn’t take no for an answer and fight the first person who got in her way - underneath all that anger and hostility was fear. I saw it, and I knew it was there. She was afraid of losing her girlfriend to all this chaos, of something happening to her that she couldn’t prevent because she wasn’t even there. And that was exactly how I was feeling about Jiwoo. We could connect with this, build some bridges that we’d both almost just burned with our hotheadedness.

I swallowed hard, shifting my gun to my back and slowly walking toward her. I wasn’t sure how I should start this. I didn’t want to sound like I was trying to trick her or persuade her - she’d catch onto that fast. No, I had to just open up. Be honest. No strings attached.

Right when I reached her, I started talking. Her head tilted slightly in my direction but that was the only acknowledgement she gave. “My friend, from when I was little - Jiwoo - I can’t find her either.” I spoke slowly, cautiously. I didn’t want to get emotional, that was stupid and there was no time for it, but for some reason even just saying her name aloud _hurt_. “I haven’t seen her for a while. I got caught up with the army, with other things, and I never wanted to make the trip to go see her. We’re from a town a few hours away, but she goes to school here. If something happened to her, if she’s...” I couldn’t even say it. I didn’t have it in me. “I’ll never forgive myself.”

It got silent. Totally silent. I finally forced myself to look at her, and she was staring right back at me. All the anger had left her face, not even the faintest traces of a glare still there. I knew that got to her. She could relate, that was probably the exact situation she was in, at least to some extent.

She shifted from foot to foot, looking down at the floor, “Uh... how long has it been since you’ve seen her...?”

“A year. Maybe even longer than that.” There was no excuse for it. No excuse at all. I was just a shitty friend, too wrapped up in my own life. And now it might be too late, and nothing scared me more than that.

“How long have you been friends?” Hyunjin asked, seeming genuinely curious. I think she wanted to know the real stakes. If it helped snap her out of it - to get her to come with us, I’d tell her anything she wanted.

“Since I was like... three. We’ve been through a lot together, and I guess... I guess I just thought she’d always be there, so I took it for granted, but now... she wasn’t in her dorm, and the campus is... like _this_ , so--” My voice broke, just slightly, but that was still too much. Shit. 

Hyunjin stepped slightly forward, “Hey, don’t...” I was getting to her. She wasn’t made of stone. “It’s... I’m sure she’s fine.” That was a hollow reassurance, a generic thing you’d say to anyone in this situation. I wanted to believe it, but I wasn’t dumb. I knew how unlikely it was.

I sniffled, blinking away the burning to my eyes, “I-I... I just need to find her. Okay? And... you’re strong. You can fight.” She seemed to understand what I was getting at, and she sighed, avoiding my gaze. I was losing her. I stepped closer, “Please, please just... If you’re with us, we stand a better chance of getting across this city. _Please_.”

She was conflicted, but I still stood a chance of convincing her. I knew I did. She shook her head, “I... do you even know where she could be? Or are you just planning to wander around, hoping you bump into each other?” Like that was any less plausible than _her_ plan. I kept that thought to myself.

“No, I-I know where she is,” I pulled the sticky note from my pocket, showing the address to her. She took it from me, staring at it hard, “She’s there. We just need to go. Hyunjin?” She looked back at me. Our eyes met. “Can you _please_ , just... help me find her, and then I’ll help you, with whatever you need.” That wasn’t a lie that time. I would help her. “Anything.”

Our matched gaze was held. I just stared at her, desperate. If this didn’t work, then it was a lost cause.

Finally, she sighed heavily, clumsily shoving the sticky note back into my hand and looking away from me again, “Fine. I’ll help you. But _right_ after, and I mean _right_ after, we’re looking for Heejin.”

“Heejin? Is that your girlfriend?” I asked gently, also finding myself curious.

“Yeah. And if _anything_ happens to her, I’m putting it on you.” She shoved my shoulder again, but it was gentler than before.

Fine. I’d take it.

“Then let’s just go. No point in wasting more time, where’s Jinsol?” Hyunjin was already heading back the way we’d come.

“I’ll grab her.” I walked down the short hall she’d gone down, cracking the bathroom door open, only to shut it right after, “Oh! U-uh, sorry, I...” She’d had her shirt off, scrubbing at her bare torso with a handful of paper towels.

“It’s fine, actually could you help me?” Her voice carried back out to me.

“Yeah, uh... yeah.” I pushed the door back open and stepped inside, noticing the pile of bloody paper towels forming a clump in the trash can. The sink was on, the water still running. Blood had splattered the porcelain. “God, you really got drenched, huh?” She’d put her hair up in a ponytail, the ends of that wet too. I guessed she’d run it under water as best as she could.

She chuckled lightly, though her body was still stiff as a statue. “Yeah. It sunk through my shirt. Could you help get it off my back? Please?”

I nodded, grabbing some more towels from the dispenser and running them under the sink. I brought it gently to her skin and did my best to wipe off the traces of blood, “Do you have anything else to wear...?”

She shook her head, “No. I saw some backpacks near some of the tables. Think they’d have something?”

Before I had the chance to answer, Hyunjin poked her head in, “What’re you guys-- oh.” She didn’t leave the room like I had, but she looked down at the floor.

“Hyunjin, could you go look through the backpacks for a sec? See if there’s anything Jinsol could wear?” I wiped some blood from Jinsol’s lower back, reaching to get another paper towel. Hyunjin just nodded and ducked out of the room.

“Is she coming with us?” Jinsol asked me softly, whispering as if Hyunjin would overhear.

“Yeah. I talked to her. We’re leaving once you’re clean.”

She sighed in relief, “Good, god I was so nervous she’d stay here by herself. Thank you.” I shrugged at the thanks, not needing it, but she doubled down. “No, I mean... thank you for everything. I would’ve died a dozen times over if you hadn’t showed up.” I noticed that she didn’t mention how she’d blown up at me about Yujin, and I didn’t really expect her to. That was likely gonna be a sensitive spot for a long time. Rightfully so.

Before I had a chance to respond, Hyunjin poked her head back in and tossed something at me. I barely caught it as she explained herself, “It’s all I could find. Just a tank-top, sorry.”

Jinsol took it from me and slipped it over her head, looking down at the color. “Hey, at least it’s blue.”

“That’s not warm enough.” I thought to myself, thinking about how the wind bit at my nose outside. Sighing, I just shrugged off my jacket and slid it onto her shoulders. I still had a sweater on underneath this, so I was better off than her.

“Cute, can we go now?” Hyunjin asked, impatient.

She was right, we should go. “There’s a back entrance. Next to the stairs we came up.” Jinsol said right as I reached to push the door open. She clutched her knife tightly, and after having seen her use it on that infected, I felt a little better about letting her have it. “I think we should use it instead of the way we came. It lets out right near a main road and we won’t have to go past them again.”

“Yeah. You’re right. Why don’t you lead the way, then?” Hyunjin suggested. I wasn’t so sure.

“Um... yeah. Sure.” Jinsol shrugged, but I could sense her fear. She moved to open the door herself, but I made sure to lean closer and tell her something.

“I’ll be right behind you. Okay?” She nodded sheepishly, putting on a brave face before finally pushing that door open.

She went first, going down the stairs slow and quiet. She didn’t make a single sound, and neither did Hyunjin and I. The infected had left Hyunjin’s phone alone once it’d stopped ringing, and instead of going back to that laptop, they’d started to wander. Oh. Great. Now they were dispersed all over the first floor, but they still hadn’t seen us. Jinsol froze in place, not knowing what to do. We just had to move, really. Try and go in between them - there wasn’t another option. They were moving slow, aimless. We could manage, right?

I nudged her forward, gently, my hand on the small of her back. She flinched from surprise, but moved. We stuck to one of the walls, sidling against it. That way at least they wouldn’t sneak up at our backs. We kept as far from them as we could, pressing ourselves against it whenever one stumbled by a bit too close for comfort. One of them growled at nothing, twitching, looking dead at us, and we all froze. I raised my gun, ready to shoot if it charged, but it stayed put. Just stared, for a few dreadful, horrifying seconds, before looking away and staggering the opposite direction. Fuck. It felt like I couldn’t breathe.

We just kept going. It was so unsettling to watch them move, how unnatural but strangely familiar it was. The way their bodies were hunched over, some of them even had broken limbs but they didn’t seem to care. One of them limped, its ankle snapped at the bone, injuring itself further with every step it took but still not stopping.

I bumped into Jinsol’s side, and she almost stumbled, but I caught her before she could. Why had she stopped? I looked at where she stared with wide eyes. It was the back door she’d talked about. There was an infected right in front of it. Oh. Shit. I looked over my shoulder toward the front entrance that seemed so far away now. The way there was littered with them, too. I stared at the one blocking our way, wondering if we just waited, if it’d wander somewhere else, but it seemed strangely fixed to the spot. Great. So our luck had run out, huh?

I thought back to how Hyunjin had killed that infected in the dorm building. How she’d snapped its neck. It’d made noise, sure, but that was a hell of a lot quieter than my gun would be, and it was at least something. Maybe they wouldn’t be able to hear.

I had to resort to charades again. I nudged Hyunjin gently, pointed to the infected in our way, cupped my own neck with my hands and mimed a twisting motion. She nodded and stepped ahead of us, quiet, slow. I had my gun raised toward the other infected, ready to shoot them down if they heard any noise. I watched in my peripherals as Hyunjin swiftly reached up, grabbed the thing by the sides of its head and jerked its neck _hard_ to the side. It _snapped_ , and it was louder than I would’ve liked. Hyunjin tried to grab it before its body crumbled into dead weight, but it fell oddly - forward - straight into the door and pushing it open. The door squeaked loudly, the sound of the infected slamming hard into metal resonating throughout the whole first floor. They’d _definitely_ heard. Shit shit _shit_.

“ _Move_.” I shouted, Hyunjin already running before I even had to speak. She stepped over the corpse, bursting outside but waiting for us all to get out.

I let Jinsol go ahead of me and took up the rear. A hand grabbed the back of my shirt, then another, tugging me, and I struggled against the unexpected strength. Jinsol noticed and clutched my arm, pulling me _hard_ along with her and successfully getting me out of its grip. I locked eyes with her, wondering if that’d saved me. It damn well might’ve, and I was rattled, but there was no time to linger. No, she was pulling me along with her, across a lawn, through another cluster of buildings, just running and _running_.

I looked over my shoulder. Fuck, there were way more than I thought. I had to thin out the horde a bit, and there was no point in being quiet anymore. I shook myself from Jinsol’s grasp, and raised my gun - letting out a full clip into the crowd of them. They fell in droves, probably ten or twelve going down hard to the ground. If they weren’t all dead, they at least couldn’t chase us, and that’d have to be enough.

Hyunjin had started to hang back, seeming ready to help me, but I didn’t like Jinsol being in the front by herself. She was so far ahead. I think fear got the best of her and now she was just sprinting without caring, wanting to get away. But that was too far - I couldn’t catch up.

We were on the main road now, it was absolute chaos, like I’d worried it would be. There were deafening gunshots and screeching cars and just... everyone _screaming_. I spotted a soldier, panicked, trying to get away from a cluster of them. He pulled a pin on a grenade and he tossed it over his shoulder, into the group, but also right toward us. Fuck.

“GET DOWN!” I was already diving, shielding my head and lunging to the ground right as it went off. I’d caught a glimpse of Hyunjin ducking away, but I didn’t think Jinsol had heard me. Glass shattered and the pavement shook, pieces of metal and shrapnel landing atop my head. My ears were ringing, my heart pounding at five times the speed, struggling to get my bearings.

Shit. Jinsol. I staggered to my feet, despite all my aching muscles telling me to just lay there and recuperate. All of my exposed skin was scraped from the impact. Hyunjin had fallen onto her back, some of the debris scratching her face up. She did her best to pull herself upright, but she was clearly in pain. Fuck. I wanted to help her, I did, but _where was Jinsol?_

The building I remembered her being near had been a high rise. Its windows all shattered from the explosion. I caught a glimpse of blonde hair, out of my view behind a crashed car. I tripped over myself rushing toward it. She had to be okay, she _had_ to be _okay_.

She was on the ground, face-down, but she was moving. I gently clasped her shoulders, trying to sit her up, but she felt like dead weight. “Jinsol?! Hey, hey, Jinsol, c’mon!” She grumbled slightly. Hyunjin came up from behind me, staggering a bit. She reached down and helped me pull Jinsol up, and together we spun her around, propping her against the side of the car she was behind. I brushed some of her hair out of her face, and froze.

Oh _fuck_.

Half her face was drenched in blood, and that time, it _was_ hers.


	9. "I Know Her"

_A bit earlier, in a scientist’s cluttered apartment..._

**_Yerim_ **

I cradled the mug of warm milk that’d been thrust into my hands, sitting on the couch and staring down at it. Haseul and Vivi were standing at a nearby table, looking at a bunch of documents and what I’d noticed was a map. I knew I should’ve gotten up, tried to participate more actively in whatever plans they were making, since it was my life on the line too, but I was just so _tired_. All the muscles in my body had started to ache once Vivi barricaded the door to her apartment again. I finally felt safe for the first time in what must’ve been barely an hour, but felt like a lifetime. The blanket Haseul wrapped around my shoulders didn’t keep me from shuddering.

Instead, I just settled on eavesdropping as a bystander. Yeojin had pulled up a stool to the table and sat between Vivi and Haseul. They hadn’t said anything for a while, just looking and thinking and probably considering all sorts of important adult things. I wished I could do that, but the only thing, and I mean the _only_ thing in my head was Hyunae’s face as she tried to take a bite out of my leg.

Haseul sighed lightly, rubbing at her temples. She’d been through a lot, too. I seriously owed her. “Thanks for letting us in.” She told Vivi in a soft voice, staring at her in a way I hadn’t really seen anyone stare at someone before. I thought back to when Yeojin had said Haseul “wasn’t over” Vivi, and it seemed like that was true. I could just tell. There was still something there. The way they looked at each other, the way they’d held onto each other when we’d first gotten there. Despite the breakup, there was undoubtedly a connection. I thought it was sweet.

Vivi scoffed, “Why would you thank me for that? As if I wouldn’t let you in...” She took her glasses off for a moment and scrubbed off the lenses on her lab coat.

“I-I dunno... I just... it’s good to see you.” Haseul muttered that last part, as if embarrassed and not wanting to reveal it. I didn’t see the point in pretending. Why lie about how you feel for people? I was always honest with that stuff, but sometimes I got told I was too much of an open book. Oh well. There were worse things to be than an open book.

Vivi’s cheeks lit slightly with a blush. “It’s good to see you too.”

The brief silence that’d spread after that short exchange was interrupted by a single, deliberate clap from Yeojin, “So,” Everyone turned to her. Jim was propped up at her side, it sort of looked like he was sitting at the table with all of them. “What’re the zombie rules?”

Vivi blinked twice, as if she’d misheard her, but Yeojin couldn’t have sounded any more serious. It was hard to tell with her sometimes, though. I sort of liked that she joked so often, because it got my mind off things, but sometimes I couldn’t separate sarcasm from honesty. “Sorry - what?”

Yeojin didn’t miss a beat, as per usual, “The zombie rules. Like, are we talking ‘oh, anyone who dies turns into a zombie even if they weren’t bit’ stupid _Walking Dead_ rules? Or are we talking, ‘if you get blood in your mouth or eyes you turn in eight seconds’ _28 Days Later_ zombie rules? Do we need to shoot the zombies in the head? Or does that not matter? I’d just like some basic info to work off of, please, is that too much to ask?” She folded her hands together atop the table politely.

Vivi and Haseul just stared at her, totally stunned. I mean... I’d sort of like to know the zombie rules too. But I didn’t plan on asking so bluntly. And I wasn’t sure if anyone even had the answers. Vivi was a scientist, it seemed, but I wasn’t sure what type of scientist she was. I just prayed she’d know at least more than we did.

Vivi just shrugged, “Um, I... Yeojin, I don’t have just a set of ‘zombie rules’ for you.”

Yeojin groaned in frustration, rolling your eyes, “But you’re the _scientist_. It’s like, your job to tell us what’s going on and what the zombies can do. Don’t you have all sorts of smart scientist connections and stuff? Don’t act like you don’t, I know you do.” She crossed her arms stubbornly.

Vivi reached down to the table, shuffling some papers around in a flustered rush. “I-I... I mean, I can tell you what I know. But I haven’t seen an infected myself, which I’m assuming you guys have?”

Yeojin raised her hand up readily, kicking her legs around beneath the table, “Yes!! I’ve seen one! It almost got me but Haseul hit it with a bat.” She seemed so nonchalant about that. Like the near-death experience hadn’t so much as fazed her. When they got close to me, I got scared. Terrified - I almost couldn’t even move. I wasn’t sure how she did it.

Vivi’s gaze flitted back to Haseul for a moment, “Really?” Haseul nodded sheepishly.

“Haseul saved me, too.” I spoke up, feeling the need to point that out. Haseul was nice. Brave too, even though I felt like she’d deny that. If I hadn’t bumped into her in the hospital, I didn’t even want to think about what would’ve happened.

Vivi smiled at me, a small, warm, pretty smile. “Ah. Awfully nice of her...” She snuck another peek at Haseul before bringing her focus down to her pile of papers. “Um... and about what I know of the infection, it’s all just been second-hand. I called work on a whim, I thought about going in just because I had nothing better to do. I... get kind of aimless on my days off. When nobody answered I got worried, so I just kept calling until someone picked up. It was a coworker - they were trying to figure out as much as they could about the virus, with some mandated military protection.”

Haseul edged around the table to be closer to her, looking over her shoulder at the papers. “I was at work. Things started going to hell, a bunch of those infected must’ve found the ER somehow.”

“No.” I felt the need to speak up, all eyes turning to me. “They didn’t find it, they were already in it. It spreads through biting. If someone gets bitten, they turn. People would get bit, and they’d go to the hospital for help, but nobody knew _how_ to help.” I remembered rushing up to the check-in counter in the midst of the absolute chaos, trying desperately to get someone to help Hyunae, and being brushed off. There were so many people ahead of me. It was useless, but I hadn’t wanted to believe that. So I’d just sat there, with all the other girls, as Hyunae slowly turned into a monster.

Vivi stared at me with pity, “Um... yeah. That’s what I heard too: passes through biting and only biting. From what I got when I still had an open line of communication, the longest someone’s lasted after being bitten was about two hours. Shortest, around 30 minutes.” She reached across the table, grabbing a small piece of notebook paper and reading it, “Um... besides that, the only information I could get was something about it potentially becoming airborne.”

“Airborne?!” Haseul surged closer, her voice raised. The sentiment was mutual. I set my mug down on the coffee table and stood up, terrified. What did that mean for us?

“Yeah, but don’t panic, you’re fine...” She reached to gently rest her hand on Haseul’s arm, the contact seeming to relax the nurse in an instant. “It only happens if there’s too many infected corpses, in one enclosed space. They tested it, extracted the virus, but right after they discovered that, the line went dead. They stopped answering. I think... I mean, I just assumed the worst.” She adjusted her glasses again, despite them being straight.

The conversation was cut short but a sudden shout from Yeojin as she shot up and out of her seat, “UMMM? MY PHONE DOESN’T HAVE WIFI ANYMORE, OKAY APOCALYPSE, YOU’VE HAD YOUR FUN, THAT’S QUITE ENOUGH, GOD.” She stared up at the ceiling of Vivi’s apartment, as if genuinely expecting God to descend through it and personally restore the wifi.

Vivi just smiled, the slight bags under her eyes making her look more tired than amused. “Hate to break it to you Yeojin, but I don’t think it’s gonna be coming back for a while.” She turned to fully face Haseul, “Hey. Listen, I... my apartment isn’t the best place to be right now.”

“But it’s safe, we can--” She tried to protest, but Vivi stopped her.

“--What? Stay here? Survive off my coffee and cereal for god knows how long, waiting for someone else to stumble upon us? I don’t think so.” That made sense. Haseul’s face fell slightly. She was scared, she didn’t want to go back out there into that hell. I didn’t either, but all I knew was that I wasn’t separating from these people. They were all I really had, right now. My only chance. Vivi edged closer and held her hand, “Hey. It’s okay. I have my pistol - remember? You always hated that I had it? And you’ve got that bat, and Yeojin has...” She looked over, seeming to notice the huge bag Yeojin had dragged in with her. “Oh my god, did you really bring Jim?” Haseul just shook her head, as if still in denial that he was here. “Whatever, that’s... whatever. Look, I think we just need to get out of the city. Alright?

“And how would you propose we do that?” Haseul asked. A good question.

She shrugged earnestly, “I mean, that’s kind of the end of my plan. I’d say we find a car, but...”

“We have a car.” I spoke up. Getting out of the city sounded smart. I was pretty sick of this place.

Vivi nodded, “Okay, um... then lets use it.” She stepped away from the table and ducked out of the room. After a few seconds, she came back, a small, sleek, snub-nosed pistol in her hand. “See? We can do this. Alright?” Her voice wavered, but even then, I didn’t doubt her.

Vivi loaded us up with what she had in her apartment. She handed me a backpack full of supplies, and I felt better knowing we had them. Haseul dug through Vivi’s medicine cabinet, taking out a bunch of bandaids and medical things but seeming frustrated that there weren’t more.

“What’re you grumbling about?” Yeojin asked as she walked past the bathroom. She’d been doing rounds of the apartment, holding her phone up in the air as if that would somehow bring her wifi back.

Haseul just shut the cabinet with a disappointed sigh, “Nothing. It’s... I’m just mad I didn’t grab things from the hospital when I was there. Damn, I was in a _supply_ closet for god’s sake...” She shrugged the bag Vivi had given her onto her shoulders.

“Hey. You can’t beat yourself up about that right now.” Vivi told her gently. “We need to focus. What’s done is already done, no point in dwelling on it after the fact...” She hovered by the door to her apartment, having pushed the barricade out of the way by then. I’d gotten to my feet, noticing that Haseul had the bat. Yeojin had shoved a knife into my hands earlier, telling me in utter seriousness that I was to be she and Jim’s “personal guard.” Which I took very seriously.

I took a deep breath, “Okay, um... are we going?” I was sick of this dreadful waiting. The anticipation might kill me. I just wanted to get it over with. Once we got to Haseul’s car, I’d feel safer.

Vivi nodded, checking the clip to her pistol for what must’ve been the dozenth time. I didn’t get why. There were definitely bullets in it, and they hadn’t gone anywhere. “Yes, Yerim. We’re going. Come on everyone, let’s be quick about this alright?” We all convened around her. She seemed to know what she was doing. I just hoped all of her calm didn’t fade altogether once she actually saw one of the monsters up close. “We just need to get out. As fast as we can.”

“They’re sensitive to sound,” Haseul spoke up quickly. “So we have to stay quiet.” She shot a pointed look at Yeojin, which was warranted.

“Why’re you looking at me like that? Are you implying that I’m loud?? Because I find that rather offensive and I’d prefer if you didn’t insinuate that I can’t keep my volume down!” Ironically, the more she talked the more raised her voice was until she was practically yelling. I found myself smiling at her antics. They really did help me to forget how bad things were, and I appreciated that more than I knew how to say.

“It’s okay Yeojin. You don’t mean to be loud.” I told her softly. That wasn’t quite what she’d wanted to hear, but before she had a chance to keep protesting, Vivi had opened the door and we all went dead silent.

The hall was empty like we’d left it, but the way to the stairs seemed further than before. My fear rooted me to the spot again. There was still a part of me that wanted to dive back into Vivi’s apartment, block the door, and wait it out for as long as I could manage, but I knew that wasn’t feasible. We’d still be trapped in an infested city, with no help in sight. I had to be smart about this. Girl Scout Law Code #2, a girl scout does her best. My “best” most certainly wasn’t cowering in fear and shutting myself away. It was rushing down that hallway, keeping Yeojin and Jim as safe as I could, and trying to help these people who I owed so much.

Vivi led the way, Haseul not far behind. I let Yeojin go in front of me, but reached to hold her hand. She tightened her grip on me as soon as she felt the contact. Maybe she _was_ scared, she just wasn’t showing it. Which was sort of brave on its own, in a way.

We reached the door, and I finally let out the breath I’d been holding in once we got to the stairwell. We were far from safe. We were still in this building, for one, and Haseul’s van was multiple stories down.

Then we heard something. I tightened my grip on the knife in my hand. It was a pounding, an erratic, dull thudding. It was coming from below us. Great, the way we had to go.

“What is that??” Yeojin whispered lowly. I wished I had an answer.

None of us did. Haseul just took a deep, trembling breath, and started to head down the steps. Vivi pushed her gently to the side so she could go first again, aiming her pistol with a fairly steady hand. The more stairs we went down, the more clear the thudding got. Until finally, we saw the source.

It was the door to the third floor. Something was pounding against the opposite side, slowly.

“What _is_ that??” Yeojin whispered again. Her grip on my hand constricted even harder, so much so that it almost hurt my fingers. We didn’t have an answer, but we stared at it. “God, guys i-is it a person??” Her voice was raising. She was scared. No, no, we couldn’t be loud. I reached to clasp my hand over her mouth, to keep her quiet, but it was too late. Something had heard.

The door that’d been thudding was thrown wide open. An infected lunged out, grabbing onto the first person it saw - Vivi. She jumped at the sudden contact, pulling the trigger of her pistol, the sound deafening in the small, echoey space we were in. I pressed my hands against my ears but they’d already started to ring. That was so _loud_. The bullet went into its knee, and it stumbled for only a moment before it was back against her, pinning her to the wall. Haseul was there in an instant. She wound the bat back and brought it swinging forward _hard_ into the side of the thing’s head. I heard a bone snap, it’s head twisting grotesquely, and then it fell.

Vivi breathed hard, her eyes wide behind her glasses. “Fuck... fuck, was that--?”

“--Yes, and that shot will bring the rest!” Haseul grabbed her hand, and the next thing I knew, we were running. No point in trying to stay quiet anymore, no - we just had to _run_.

I could hear the other zombies from the building growling and screaming from the noise. We’d summoned them all straight to us. Oh no, oh no no no. We just had to get downstairs, we _just_ needed to get into the lobby and not get sandwiched between two groups of zombies. Yeojin was clutching my hand so hard she may’ve crushed the bones there but I could hardly feel it from all the adrenaline coursing through me. I stumbled at one point, but she helped me to my feet in an instant. We were looking out for each other. We’d make it.

I was in such a desperate rush I almost didn’t even notice when we’d reached the ground floor. Haseul stopped abruptly and threw the door open, holding it that way for all of us. I could hear the infected right on our tail, but she stood her ground, making sure we were all through before she came too. Vivi shot more - I heard one, then two, then three bullets fired, each one followed by an infected’s shriek of pain. It still sounded like there were so _many_. I didn’t even want to look.

“ _Go, go, outside!!_ ” Haseul shouted, rushing to the doors already. We couldn’t fight them off, there was no point, we just needed to get to the car.

It was right on the street. We could make it. We had to make it. Yeojin got there first and she threw the door open, tossing Jim in with a bit of a struggle and then pulling me along with her. I slammed it shut behind us, locking it, as if that’d help. Haseul and Vivi jumped into the front seats. One of the infected threw itself hard against the side of the van, it may’ve even dented it. More infected swarmed the car, pounding their fists against the windows and even trying to bite the glass with their bloody teeth. Finally, Haseul started the engine and slammed her foot down onto the gas. The car sped forward, off down the street, away from that chaos and straight into a whole new mess.

We were driving through the heart of the city, Vivi trying to give Haseul rushed directions of where to go, but nothing looked the same when it was this destroyed and hectic. I just stared out the window, at the wreckages and the people running for their lives, and I wished I could help, but there were just so _many_.

A car slammed hard into the back of a scooter, and the driver went flying over the handlebars. The passenger, some other girl, fell to her side on the road, and I caught a glimpse of her face. Wait. Wait a minute. I think I knew her. Haseul sped past. But wait, did I know her??

“We have to help that girl!” I blurted out, an intense, _deep_ compulsion to get to her absolutely consuming me. We hadn’t caused that accident, but weren’t we almost just as responsible if we saw it happen and did nothing to help?

Girl Scout Law Code #3: a Girl Scout takes the initiative in helping others. This was up to me, I didn’t even think the other girls saw what happened.

“What?!” Haseul asked, looking over her shoulder at me in confusion. Her diverted attention made her almost crash straight into a truck driving in the wrong lane, and she barely swerved out of the way. “Yerim we don’t have time right now!!”

I looked over my shoulder. We were going so fast. We were far away, but I _needed_ to help her. Haseul didn’t understand.

“I know her!!” I insisted desperately, leaning forward in my seat and grabbing Haseul’s shoulder. She faltered. I saw it in her eyes.

Vivi looked back at me with a furrowed brow, “Honey... are you sure it was—“

“ _Yes_. Haseul, I _know_ her. I’ve lost so many people already, I can’t—“

“— _Fine._ ” She screeched to a stop, conflicted, but I’d gotten to her. Haseul had a good heart, I knew she already didn’t feel right about leaving someone behind when she could’ve helped. She had a conscience, and so did I. Yeojin still clasped my hand, and she tightened her grip at how scared I sounded. I _was_ scared. I was sick of seeing people die, especially if I could help.

Haseul pulled a sharp, calculated u-turn, narrowly missing another car, and sped back the way we’d come. I kept my eye out, looking hard for her, needing to see her. She had to be okay. What if she wasn’t, and... and it was because I hadn’t convinced Haseul fast enough? Oh god. What if it was my fault?

“There! Stop!” I shouted, spotting the scooter that’d crashed. Haseul slammed on her breaks again, and as soon as we were going slow enough, I threw the door open and leapt out onto the road.

She was on the ground, knocked over on her side. I struggled to remember her name, I’d only talked to her a few times. We had a class together and she always sat in the back by herself, so one day I sat at her side. She didn’t talk to me, but I’d managed to make her smile once. She had a pretty smile.

Just as I reached her, I remembered. “Hyejoo!” I turned her over, face up. Her eyes were closed, she was unconscious. No, no no no! “Hyejoo?!! Are you okay, u-um—“ I pressed my ear lightly to her chest, and I heard a heartbeat. Oh thank _goodness_.

Haseul had gotten out of the car and rushed over to me, “Move, Yerim, let me look at her!” She gently pushed me to the side, and I got right out of the way. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears.

“Stay back!” Vivi blurted out suddenly. I looked up, and saw her pointing her gun at a girl coming toward us. She had a screwdriver in her hand, wearing a scooter helmet that was cracked open on the top. Oh, was she hurt too?

She raised her hands up instantly, “It’s okay, I-I’m not gonna hurt you! That’s my friend, please! She’s hurt! A-Are you a nurse?” Her eyes were wide with panic and glossy with tears. Whoever she was, she most definitely wasn’t a threat.

“Vivi put the gun down!” I told her gently, gesturing for the girl to come closer. She rushed forward and knelt at Hyejoo’s other side, sniffling. “Your helmet.” I pointed at it. She raised an eyebrow, reaching to pull it off.

Haseul looked up at her, “That probably saved your life.”

The girl blinked hard, running her thumb along the crack right down the middle of it. She set it down, dazed at what she seemed to realize was a near-death experience, and just focused on Hyejoo. “Is she gonna be okay? Can you tell??”

It was hard for Haseul to focus. All around us was chaos and infected and cars and _death_. Somehow we’d gone unnoticed, sheltered on one side by Haseul’s van. Vivi had her gun raised, but she was trembling from everything she was seeing - the chaos and disaster. She’d never seen it before, she was overwhelmed. Yeojin had been given the bat. She’d left Jim to guard the car.

“I-I... she’s okay, she just hit her head pretty bad. Might have a concussion, and she’s bleeding a little bit, but the wounds aren’t deep. I can’t treat her here, c’mon, let’s get her in the car!”

The scooter girl reached down, helping to grab Hyejoo’s feet, but we’d need two people to lift her - none of us were particularly strong.

“Here, let me help!” I hooked my arms beneath Hyejoo’s shoulders, and scooter girl helped me lift her. She wasn’t too heavy, we were just weak and she was total dead weight. Her cheek had scraped against the pavement and it bled. That crash had probably been _so_ scary, I could hardly even imagine. 

Yeojin circled us as we carted Hyejoo inside, gripping that bat tightly with both hands and looking surprisingly intimidating with it. Vivi’s hands kept on trembling, looking over her shoulder at us as we laid Hyejoo down in the seat furthest in the back of the van. The girl insisted on sitting back there with her, resting Hyejoo’s head on her lap. She’d been driving. I wonder if she felt guilty or something.

“What’s your name?” I asked her gently, not wanting to refer to her as scooter girl anymore in my head.

She sniffled, wiping at her raw eyes. “Chaewon. I-I’m Chaewon, who’re--”  
  


“I’m Yeojin!” Yeojin felt the need to shout from outside. Vivi quickly climbed back into the passenger’s seat, while Haseul got behind the wheel. “You had a cool scooter, I’m sorry it-- _ah_!” Her apology was cut off abruptly when an infected slammed into her side, having been shoved away by a passing civilian. Now that it spotted her, though, it’s attention was diverted. Oh _no_.

She still had the bat. She could use it, in theory, right? Either way, I started to get back out of the car, needing to help her. The thing charged at her again, its teeth about to sink into her neck, and I couldn’t even breathe I was so _terrified_. Terrified I wouldn’t get to her in time, terrified that thing would bite her, terrified that she’d turn and I wouldn’t be able to hear her make poorly timed jokes or talk too loud for her own good ever again.

But she was resourceful. She acted fast, before I had a chance to lunge to her side. Instead of trying to swing the bat, which she didn’t have the time or space for, she brought it up high - right to where the thing’s teeth were. Instead of hitting skin, they just bit down hard onto wood. The zombie was dumb. It didn’t know how to get out of it besides just pressing closer toward her. She pushed against its teeth, trying to keep it from her as best she could, but that wouldn’t last long.

“Vivi, the gun!!” Haseul shrieked at her desperately.

“A-ah-- right!” She threw her door open again, taking out her pistol and pressing it right against the thing’s temple. She closed her eyes and looked away before pulling the trigger, the sound still just as deafening and jarring as before. It fell hard, its head splattering open and fragments of brain sprinkling the pavement. Ew.

I didn’t give Yeojin a chance to recollect herself, instead reaching outside, gripping her wrist, and tugging her in. I slammed the door and just pulled her close, wrapping her in my arms. I thought she’d recoil maybe, but she didn’t. She was breathing erratically. She’d been scared, still trying to swallow it down for some reason, but I was scared too. _So_ scared for her. She just burrowed her face into my shirt and I felt the way she was shaking. It was okay. We got inside, everyone was in one piece. It was okay, and I should’ve told her that for reassurance, but I couldn’t even manage it, I couldn’t find my words. My chest was so tight.

Haseul started the car and sped off down the street as fast as the car could go. “I-I need to get to a pharmacy or something. All the bandaids from Vivi’s cabinet were small - nothing too helpful.”

Vivi took a deep breath, just trying to steady herself still. “I-I’m sorry I don’t keep a fully stocked first aid kit.”

Haseul scoffed lightly, “You _should_ , no household is complete without a first aid kit!!” She saw the way Vivi was shaking, and she didn’t like it. Her protectiveness was seeping through the cracks. “Viv, put the pistol down on the dash, please. We don’t need that accidentally going off right now. A” Her voice trembled. She gripped the wheel with white knuckles, scared to take her eyes off the road for even a second. 

Vivi exhaled shakily, reaching forward and putting the pistol down. She ran her palm down her face, “Sorry, I-I... this is so _much_.”

“It’s okay. Viv, I know it’s a lot, but you’ve _gotta_ focus and help me navigate alright?? We need to help this girl, she needs some bandages, maybe even some painkillers. She’s gonna have a hell of a headache when she wakes up.” Haseul’s nurse-iness was showing, and I was glad. Hyejoo was in good hands, what with Chaewon, Haseul, and I all here to help as best as we could.

We’d get to a pharmacy. We’d help her. We’d keep her safe. We were a team, and we didn’t leave anyone behind. Girl Scout Law Code #4 - a girl scout is a sister to all.


	10. Ten Minutes

_Meanwhile, on a chaotic, debris-ridden city road..._

**_Hyunjin_ **

_Fuck_ my back hurt. I’d landed on it funny when that grenade had blown us all to shit. It’d thrown me hard against the side of a car, my spine hitting its handle funny. That hadn’t felt great. My whole body ached, but the worst of it was at the base of my back. I was fine, overall, though. At least half my face wasn’t bleeding.

Jungeun was rattled. She couldn’t get a hold of herself, which was unsettling, since she was the one with the huge gun. She was breathing hard, her hands shaking, staring at the blood with wide, panicked eyes.

“Hey. _Hey.”_ I snapped my fingers in front of her face and she blinked, but didn’t quite come out of her stupor. Maybe the grenade fucked with her ears or something. Jinsol wasn’t even knocked out. Her eyes were open, or at least, one of them was. She couldn’t quite open the other, from the blood. “She needs help. But she can’t really go anywhere. Someone has to stay with her, and someone else has to go for help. Jungeun, _get it together_.”

I was supposed to help this girl, but I couldn’t do everything for her. I sighed, hoisting Jinsol to her feet and carrying most of her weight as I ducked beneath the awning of a small apartment building. It wasn’t much safer, but it was off the road, at the very least. The door was locked. Shit. Jungeun had followed me, still fretting about Jinsol and just staring at her.

“Stay back.” I passed the dazed Jinsol over to Jungeun, and rammed my shoulder against the door once, twice, three full times until it busted open. The lock was smashed, there was no way I’d be able to fix it. The door would at least be something between us and those monsters, though. “Come on, get in.” I told them, needing to take control. Jungeun blinked a few times, still rattled, but she pushed Jinsol and herself inside. Okay. Good. She was coming to her senses.

Jungeun set Jinsol down to the floor again, not trusting her to stand any longer. She leaned against the wall, her head lolling slightly on her neck with a weak groan. I knelt down too, gently tapping the side of her face. “Hey. _Hey_. Don’t fall asleep. Okay? Stay awake, Jinsol, come on, can you do that for me?” She nodded slightly, her eyes lidded.

Jungeun was starting to panic again. Her hands trembled as she reached forward, pulling a rag from one of the pouches on her belt. She reached forward, trying to brush away some of the blood, but Jinsol winced and she recoiled in an instant. “Sorry!”

I snagged the rag from her and held Jinsol steady, reaching forward and not caring if I was a bit rough. Jinsol grimaced but let me do what I needed to, wanting to see the actual wound beneath all the excess blood. “It’s coming from her eyebrow. Ahhh. Shit.” It was a _deep_ cut. More of a gouge, really. It was big and wide, and most definitely hurt like a bitch, but god, she got lucky. If that’d been even an inch lower, it would’ve snagged her eye, and then we’d be in _really_ big trouble. “We need to close this up or something, Jungeun. She’s bleeding _bad_.”

Jungeun swallowed hard, sweat dotting her brow, “I-I, with what?? I don’t have anything, I-I--”

“I know you don’t, we need to _get_ stuff. Someone has to stay with Jinsol, and someone has to go. Fast. Okay? We don’t have much time.” I said that like it was an open ended question, but as the seconds of silence wore on, I started to realize something.

It was gonna have to be me, wasn’t it? God, how did I let myself get roped into this? I was supposed to be looking for Heejin, and now I was helping two chicks I didn’t even know. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, trying to think hard about what I was doing here in the first place. What would Heejin tell me to do, if she’d been here with me?

_She’d want you to help them, because they need help, and you’re able to help_. I told myself, knowing her voice so well I could practically hear her nagging me. It was the right thing to do. Deep down I knew it was, but _god_ , I still just wanted to see her. I _just_ wanted to find Heejin and hug her for three straight hours, was that too much to ask?

I got to my feet, Jungeun looking up at me with ever so slightly glossy eyes. “Stay here. I’ll go. It’s hard to tell where we are in... all this, but I think there’s a pharmacy down the street.” Jungeun blinked, her hands having steadied. Okay, she was getting a grip, thank god, but she still needed a bit of a push. I knelt down, putting my hand hard on her shoulder. “Listen to me. If _anything_ comes through this door, or that door,” I pointed at the two exits, “And it’s not me, shoot it.”

Jungeun nodded shakily, “And if it’s a person?”

“Shoot them. A warning shot, at least. When things start going to shit like this, people will too. You can’t assume everyone’s as kind hearted and selfless as me. They probably aren’t, and right now? You have to be _careful_ , and keep _her_ safe.” I grabbed Jungeun’s chin, turning her head to Jinsol, who seemed to be fading in and out. God we didn’t even have time for this. I stood up again. “Protect her. I’ll be back in a minute okay?”

“Don’t let those things bite you.” She called out to me as I was halfway down the hall. Before I had a chance to ask why, she was telling me more, “If they bite you you’ll turn into one. Please don’t let them bite you.” That wasn’t coming from a place of concern, it was coming from a place of desperation. She knew that when she was waiting here, guarding Jinsol, she was relying totally on me to come back. That was all she had.

She should have some sort of plan B, though. I decided to give her one. “If I’m not back in like... ten minutes, I want you to put Jinsol somewhere safer and go get the stuff yourself. Okay?” She nodded, but neither of us liked what that added condition implied. I didn’t think I’d die, I mean... was I _really_ gonna die for these two? I wished I had a weapon. Jinsol had a knife earlier, but I think it’d gotten lost somewhere in the explosion, and I wasn’t about to go rooting through the rubble just for a knife.

Jungeun took a deep, shaky breath, sitting at Jinsol’s side and aiming her gun at the nearest door. Good. I felt a bit better when I headed out that back exit, letting out into an alley. Why did I feel responsible for them? I wasn’t responsible for them, technically they were on their own, but... I’d agreed to help, so I had to help, as fast as I could. I turned in the direction I remembered that pharmacy being, and I ran.

I ran out of the alley and across a road, not bothering to look for cars, but just _running_. There were infected, yeah, but as long as I just ran and didn’t make any noise or scream in fear like some of those other idiots, most of them didn’t notice me. And if I went fast enough, they got bored and picked an easier target, because damn were there plenty. The streets were littered with panicked people running for their lives, trying to fight off infected, tripping over themselves and each other. It was a bloodbath. And I absolutely fucking _hated_ the thought of Heejin being caught up in it somewhere.

I tried to stick to alleyways as best as I could. They were less intense than the roads, but they weren’t totally free of chaos. For a while, it was going okay, until I rounded the corner of one and saw four of the things eating someone alive. Oh fuck. _Ew._ I looked all over, for a weapon, for anything. I could turn around and try another way. But I was pressed for time. This was the fastest route.

I couldn’t risk it. There were too many, and I couldn’t fight against them all. Resisting the urge to groan in frustration, I turned on my heel and rushed back the way I came, bursting out onto the main road again. I turned the corner, trying to stick to the wall of the building so I couldn’t be rushed from that side. My ears were starting to ring from the constant sounds of absolute _chaos_. It was driving me crazy.

A guy fell hard in front of me, right in my way, pinned to the ground by an infected that tore open his jugular. He bled and screamed and flailed, and I froze up dumbly for a few seconds, but then I noticed the machete in his hand. He spasmed and dropped it. There was no saving him. He didn’t need it anymore.

I reached down, scooping it up and quickly going around those two, breaking into a run again. This detour had wasted time. I didn’t want Jungeun to try and leave with Jinsol just because I’d taken too long, that’d put her in unnecessary danger and abandon Jinsol with no protection. I needed to be _fast_. Faster than I was going. I pushed myself to pick up my speed, my muscles aching slightly from the exertion, but I didn’t care. I spun the next corner as fast as I could, knowing that the pharmacy _should_ be right on this street--

\--only to literally bump straight into an infected. It staggered from the impact but didn’t fall. If anything I’d just pissed it off. Shit. It lunged, arms reaching for me, but I didn’t give it the chance, instead shoving my newly acquired machete right into its gut. It went straight through its flesh, the sharp blade almost long enough to skewer it. It coughed and sputtered up blood, clinging to its last seconds of life before sliding back off the blade. Well, that was pretty damn effective.

I spotted the pharmacy. Oh thank God. Part of me had worried I’d been totally wrong about its location and I’d just been running blind this whole time. In one last mad dash, I sprinted there, parting my way through chaotic crowds and hopping over corpses and debris. I vaulted over the hood of a car that’d crashed into the side of the store and finally barged through - into the building.

It was quieter in here and totally empty. I didn’t trust it. As if tons of people didn’t need medical supplies right now - this should’ve been the first place they’d checked. I grabbed a plastic bag discarded on the floor, ready to load it up with literally anything that might help Jinsol. I realized pretty quickly why the place was so empty. Most of the shelves were already totally cleaned out. Shit.

“Fuck...” I rushed forward, looking desperately for anything someone may’ve left behind, and that was when I heard rustling. Great, more infected? I readied my machete, holding it out in front of my as I slowly walked to the next isle.

But it wasn’t an infected. It was a person. A girl, hovering over a messy pile of what looked like supplies some other poor sap had dropped. She froze up when she spotted me with a quiet gasp, looking dead at me. What the hell? Why was she dressed up like a girl scout? I glanced at the pile of supplies she’d been sifting through and spotted things I could use: bandages, antiseptic, painkillers. I needed those, but I could tell from the look on her face that she did too.

“H-Hi.” She stammered out. Oh. She was terrified. Poor thing couldn’t have been older than seventeen. But she didn’t look too hurt. There was a bandage on her calf, but besides that, she seemed fine. What was she here for?

“I need those.” I told her firmly, not lowering my machete for even a second. I noticed a bat on the floor at her side, and if she tried to use it, I wouldn’t hesitate. I had to help Jinsol. Now wasn’t the time for leniency.

She swallowed visibly, her hands shaking. She was holding onto a pill bottle, having been reading the label when I’d stumbled upon her. “U-um. My name’s Yerim. What’s your name?” What? Why the hell was she asking me that?

I blinked twice, confused,but not wanting to falter or seem like a pushover. “I need those. I want you to stand up, and back away, _now_.” She listened. I watched her every move as she stood, and when I noticed her hand reach behind her, I stepped closer. “ _Leave the bat._ ”

She held up her hands to me, trying to cooperate fully, “I-I need these too. My friend, she got in an accident. We can share. We don’t have to fight.”

Fuck. I didn’t want to fight her either, really I didn’t. I could tell she wouldn’t hurt a fly, but I didn’t have time for negotiating and distributing. I needed to scoop that pile of supplies into this bag and run as fast as I could back the way I’d come.

A gun cocked right behind me, and before I could move, I felt something cold and metal press flush against the back of my neck. Shit. It was wavering slightly. Whoever held that gun was trembling and uncertain. Yerim’s eyes went wide, her gaze flitting from me, to whoever was over my shoulder.

“D-Drop your weapon.” A small, shaky voice commanded lowly.

Shit.

I stood my ground. It probably wouldn’t be the best idea to be unarmed with a gun against my head, and someone else with a bat within reach. “No. Listen to me, I--”

“ _Drop your weapon_.” The firmness, although forced and induced by stress, was jarring. The barrel of that gun was pressed further into the back of my neck. I started to sweat.

“I’m _not_ going to drop my weapon and if you just let me--”

“ _Drop it!_ ”

Yerim tried to intervene. “Vivi stop, let her--”

“ _Just let me explain my_ \--”

“-- _Drop your fucking weapon o-or I’ll_ \--” I heard her falter, the muzzle withdrawing for just a second, and I realized nobody was going to let me talk. Footsteps were approaching, and they were either backup for these two or some new people to add to this mess. Either way, not a good sign for me. I was going to move. I just needed a bit more of a distraction...

“--What the hell’s going on!?” A new voice called out, the footsteps quickening their pace. Shit.

“ _I-I said drop your--_ ”

I moved.

I dropped down, out of range of where her gun had been pointing, and swung - bringing my fist back into the first face that I saw. It was a girl, a young girl - not the one who’d been holding the gun, but one who had rushed behind her. She was short, probably even younger than Yerim, and I’d hit her _way_ harder than I’d intended because of all my adrenaline. My knuckles hurt from the impact.

She recoiled, clutching her nose with her hands, “Ahh, _fuck_!” It was already starting to bleed.

I didn’t have time to regret punching that kid, because the girl with the gun had pulled the trigger. A bullet pierced the linoleum at my side, ricocheting off somewhere but thankfully not seeming to hit anyone. I grimaced from the sound, leaping back and stumbling to the floor. She’d missed, and I’d been barely a foot away from her. She wasn’t much of a threat, but two more girls had shown up now, including the one I’d punched. Four against one. Not the best odds.

Still clutching my machete, I spoke up as fast as I could before anyone had the chance to shoot me. “I-I just need these supplies for a girl, she cut her face up really bad and she’d bleeding all over the place - she wasn’t bitten, and I promised I’d help, so I need to get her help before she bleeds the fuck out okay?!”

Everyone went silent. The girl with the gun, Vivi, I guess, lowered it slightly as she tried to catch her breath. We were all struggling to get our bearings. I wasn’t out of the woods yet, but I think I’d put them a bit more at ease by explaining what I was doing there, so they knew I wasn’t some evil looter just trying to harass people for their stuff.

I let my eyes flit to the girl I’d hit. She was hissing through her teeth, muttering a stream of endless curses and still cradling her nose gently. Damn, I’d really let her have it. Yerim was holding her bat now, her whole body shaking, and shot me a glance before running over to the girl whose nose I’d probably broken. She rubbed her back, concerned, while the person I hadn’t really looked at yet shot me daggers. She was wearing medical scrubs. Oh shit, wait a minute.

“Hey, are you a nurse?!” I blurted out, starting to get to my feet again, only for Vivi to point her pistol right between my eyes. Okay, guess I was staying put. The girl was thoroughly unamused with me, but nodded. “You can help, then! Please, I shouldn’t have hit her and I’m sorry, I was just stressed about the gun and I thought I wouldn’t be able to get to this girl in time with all the distractions.”

She sighed, looking tired and conflicted. “I’ve already stopped to help someone today, I really shouldn’t--”

I didn’t have much to offer. Really, I didn’t, but I _needed_ this lady to come help Jinsol. Jungeun and I were far from nurses, and although I sort of knew these were the supplies we needed, I knew jack shit about what I was supposed to do with them. “ _Please_. You’re a nurse, isn’t it like, your job to help people??”

She groaned in frustration, running her hand down her face. “Stop, please don’t pull that.”

I got to my feet, despite the gun still aimed my way. I’d do whatever it took to make this civil, to get them to help. “My name’s Hyunjin. I already met Yerim, and I guess you’re Vivi, and who’re you two?”

The nurse glared at me, “Haseul. The girl you _punched_ is my sister Yeojin.” Oh. Oops. Okay, it might prove a bit harder than I thought to get in their good graces now, especially Haseul’s.

“I’m really, _really_ sorry about that.” I told them sincerely.

Yeojin blinked twice at me, her eyes glossy from what I knew must’ve been pain, but she actually started to speak. “That was fucking _cool_. God, that felt like a brick wall just punched me!! How’re you so buff?!” Blood dripped from her nostrils and almost into her mouth. I really did feel bad.

I shrugged earnestly, surprised that she was responding this way but not complaining. “I do Mixed Martial Arts. Punching is kind of my go-to.”

That piece of information seemed to intrigue them. Maybe they needed protection. I’d already promised Jungeun I’d help her, but maybe she’d count this whole ordeal as helping enough. I didn’t want to make another promise I couldn’t keep, but honestly? An empty promise was worth it if it got Haseul to help Jinsol.

“Do you guys need protection? Look, if you’ll help this girl, then I’ll help you. Okay?” I didn’t like lying. They seemed like good people. Really, they did, but I wasn’t sure what to do. I needed to get to Heejin - _that_ was my priority, but... I didn’t want to turn into a heartless savage. That’s not who Heejin fell in love with, and I didn’t ever want her to be disappointed in me. Even if she wasn’t here. If I found her-- _when_ I found her, I was gonna give her a recap of all this fuckery, and I didn’t ever want her to second guess me.

They all seemed conflicted, and literally convened in a small huddle to whisper inaudibly. I just stood, waiting, considering lunging toward those supplies and grabbing what I could while they were distracted, but deciding against it. Finally, they turned back to me.

Haseul spoke first, seeming like she’d taken charge of this little band. “We’ve got someone who’s hurt, too - back in our van. There’s a lot of infected along the way. If you help us get to our car, we’ll drive you to wherever this girl is, and I’ll help her. Okay?”

That was absolutely fair. I’d expected even harsher conditions. This was a stroke of luck, too. “You’ve got a deal. Now, c’mon, let’s be quick and grab what we can.”


	11. Worried Sick

_Meanwhile, in a nearby alleyway..._

**_Jiwoo_ **

The weight of the pipe in my hands was weird to me. I’d never really... I dunno, swung anything before? At least not with the intention of doing real damage - of keeping something away from me and saving my, or Sooyoung’s life. I glanced at her for what must’ve been the billionth time since we’d left her apartment building. She was walking ahead of me, still holding onto that knife, having told me to wear her jacket instead of carrying it. It was warm and really well made. And it smelled pretty.

Too nervous to ask questions, I spent this time walking just thinking them and wondering about the answers. The jacket was nice. I could tell it was expensive. All of Sooyoung’s clothes looked expensive, so she must’ve been rich. But what was her job? Was _she_ rich, or was she born into money? I’d noticed a ring on her finger. Was she married? Was her husband rich? Where was her husband? Why hadn’t she mentioned him? She seemed so put together. Not faltering, even slightly. She’d saved me back there, stood up for me, but for some reason didn’t want to accept my thanks, which I just didn’t understand.

Sooyoung was practically an enigma, but that didn’t matter. I was just so grateful for her showing up.

She stopped abruptly, and I’d been so lost in my thoughts I almost bumped straight into her back. She held out her arm to me, telling me to stop. We’d been sticking to alleyways this whole time - Sooyoung’s idea. It was smart. From what I could hear, the main roads were absolutely crazy, and I didn’t trust myself trying to navigate that. Those... _monsters_ were so _terrifying_ , they made me freeze up. Even with a weapon, I wasn’t sure how useful I’d wind up being, and I didn’t want to get Sooyoung killed just from being an idiot with poor reflexes.

We were behind what I saw was a building she seemed to recognize. That’s why she stopped. “Wait here. I’ll just be a second, I want to check for something.” She was already heading up the short set of steps to a door, but fear made my chest tight.

“W-wait, can I come with you?” I didn’t want to sound as timid as I was. I couldn’t really help it though.

She looked up and down the alley we were in. It was totally abandoned, and both ends of it just led to bends into other alleys - not the main road. We weren’t in sight of any threats. “I... no, just wait here. It might be bad inside, and there’s no point putting you in danger.” She reached toward the knob, as if that was the end of that, but I was unconvinced.

“B-But then _you’re_ being put in danger.” I didn’t like the thought of that either.

She glanced back at me with a furrowed brow. “I’ll be fine. Really, I’ll be like, ten seconds.”

“What’re you looking for? I can help, I--”

“-- _No_ , Jiwoo, I just need to check if a girl is in here. She’s probably dead anyway, this whole city’s gone to shit.” Her voice was bitter and hollow, but she was serious. Oh. Oops. I hadn’t meant to overstep.

“Oh. Sorry. Okay, I’ll be here.” I almost wanted to tell her to take her time, in case she came across something she wouldn’t want to see, but I couldn’t manage it. I wanted her to come back soon, I didn’t want her to take her time.

She didn’t say another word and just opened the door, slipping inside. She left it open a crack, almost like she wanted to hear me if I called out. That was nice - a reassurance I really appreciated.

I was alone. Just me and my thoughts. What Sooyoung said bounced around the inside of my brain. That the girl was “probably dead,” as if it was natural to just assume anyone else you knew in the city was dead already. I... didn’t like that. I cared about a lot of people in the city, and outside of it too. I wasn’t sure how widespread this chaos was, if it’d gotten home yet. I lived a few hours away. Maybe things were okay there? Maybe Jungeun was okay, wherever she was.

Jungeun. Wow. I hadn’t thought about her in... at least a solid few days - a new record, surely. I missed her. I really, _really_ missed her, but she was busy. I got that. Being in the army was a pretty life-consuming job, I wasn’t dumb. It wasn’t her fault, but... it’d been a year. I knew that she’d gotten breaks. I hadn’t seen her. Not once. Not even a call, or a text, really. I’d sent her letters. I wondered if she’d gotten them, or if she did, if she even cared anymore.

My heart skipped a beat suddenly when I remembered something. I set my pipe down against the nearest wall and shrugged my guitar bag off my shoulders, frantically unzipping a pouch on it meant for guitar picks. I reached in, panic starting to grip me, but I felt it there. God. Phew. I nearly had a heart attack. The bracelet - it was still there. The small, simple, red string she’d gotten me before she’d left for the army. I usually wore it, but I’d taken it off for some dumb reason and put it in this pouch. Just as I slipped it back on my wrist, I heard a gun cock from down the alley.

“Put your hands up, girly.” A man’s voice made me freeze. I did as he said, standing, my guitar threatening to tip over without a strong surface to lean on. It was some guy, with a ski-mask on and a revolver in his hand. He had a backpack too, but I had a feeling it didn’t belong to him. I watched in terror as he took a few steps closer, his eyes dark and malicious. “Give me what you got.”

I blinked hard, confused and terrified. Why was this happening? Because of the chaos? For some reason it hadn’t crossed my mind for even a second that _people_ , as in _human_ people would be adding to the mess when we were already under attack by a common enemy. I guessed that was naive of me. I couldn’t help it. I’d always been an optimist.

“I-I don’t have anything?” I whimpered out, the words barely leaving me before he stepped closer threateningly, his finger inching closer to the trigger.

“Don’t _bullshit_ me. I see that coat. That thing could pay my rent for weeks. You’ve got money, bitch. _Give it to me_.”

Scared to move so much as an inch, I slowly shrugged Sooyoung’s coat from my shoulders. My mind was going a million miles a minute. That coat wasn’t mine, so it wasn’t mine to give. I didn’t know if it meant something to Sooyoung, if maybe there was something important in the pockets, if she’d hate me for giving it away like this to a total stranger. I had a wallet, too, but there was no cash in it - I’d given it all to Daesuk for my lesson. My debit card was in my dorm.

“Yeah, give me that.” He stepped closer, too close. I caught a slight whiff of alcohol on his clothes. Was he drunk? I held the coat toward him with a trembling hand, not realizing how brisk the air was until I had to take it off. He snagged it from me roughly, feeling the material and nodding. Okay, he was satisfied, right? He’d leave me alone?

Nope. Guess I was being too naive again.

“Now the rest.” He demanded, pointing that gun right at me again. His eyes wandered for a second, looking me up and down. Probably to see if I had any other valuables or something.

I wasn’t sure what he meant. Should I actually give him my wallet? Wouldn’t he just get mad if he saw it was empty? I didn’t know what to do.

I slowly pulled my wallet from the pocket of my skirt, moving cautiously so he didn’t think I was trying to pull anything or trick him. He seemed unstable. Unpredictable. I didn’t want to put myself in an even worse situation by doing something too fast or making a move he misread. As soon as he saw my wallet, he snatched it like he had the coat. His skin was clammy. I resisted the urge to sneer.

He undid the velcro of my floral print wallet, flipping it upside down as if just to emphasize how empty it was. My body felt like it was made of stone. I saw him start to glare, his eyes dark and scary. I hated this. God, _why_ had I set down my pipe? I mean, not like I would’ve stood much of a chance against him since he had a gun, but I dunno, I’d at least seem more formidable? Who was I kidding. I knew I wasn’t intimidating. I was just so _frustrated_ , I knew Sooyoung wanted me to take care of myself, and I wished I’d be able to do that too. She’d left me for literally two minutes and this was already happening.

“You think I’m fuckin’ stupid, huh?” He stepped closer, cocking his head at me.

“N-no! No, I-I don’t--”

“--The guitar. That’s money, right there.” He threw my wallet to the pavement, pushing his gun closer to me so that I could see straight down the barrel. I felt myself starting to sweat and tremble. My stomach was in knots.

I couldn’t give him the guitar. I just couldn’t. I’d had it since I was ten. My dad gave it to me for my birthday, he’d worked extra shifts just so we could afford it. I couldn’t give it to him. There was no way, but I knew that it wasn’t safe to just say no. I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t want to lie, I couldn’t fight him off, but I couldn’t do what he said. If I lost my guitar I’d... I dunno. I remembered playing Jungeun a song for her birthday and having her blush and tell me to stop. I remembered winning a talent show at school, and my grandma even went to see, and she clapped the loudest and stood up and cheered. She wasn’t even around anymore. No, the sentimental value my guitar had far surpassed any sort of money this guy could get for pawning it off somewhere. I couldn’t let him have it.

“I-I... it’s not worth anything, i-it--”

He surged forward suddenly with a guttural growl, shoving me face-first against the nearest wall and pressing me into it. I yelped, startled, feeling him pin one of my wrists to the brick. It was my injured one, and it stung from his grimy hands clutching at it. I could feel his warm breath on the back of my neck and I could _really_ smell the alcohol now.

“You think you can lie to me?! _Huh_?!” He shouted right in my ear, his voice gruff and raspy. I cowered, more scared than I’d ever been. I felt the muzzle of the gun pressed right against my temple and I whimpered, my chest so tight it was hard to breathe. “You’ve got a smart mouth, is that it?”

“N-No, I-I don’t, I--” He pressed me harder against the wall, my cheek scraping on the brick, and I pursed my lips. My eyes stung.

I felt one of his hands reach into the pocket of my skirt and I tensed up, shutting my eyes. He didn’t find anything - it was empty. But that just seemed to annoy him. “I’m _taking_ that guitar, bitch, and you’re gonna _stay_ right there and not move a _fucking_ inch or I’ll-- _ah!”_

In an instant, he’d pulled back from me, the gun moving from my temple. As soon as it was gone, I stomped hard on his foot, trying to squirm away, but he shoved forward again hard and kept me pinned. _Ow_. I didn’t know why he’d cried out like that until I managed to tilt my head, catching a glimpse of Sooyoung. Oh, thank _goodness_. She’d stabbed him, that must’ve been it. He sputtered, clearly injured, but he wasn’t dead yet. He still had fight in him, and he brought his elbow back _hard_ straight into Sooyoung’s collar bones. She recoiled, coughing slightly, and he turned with his gun to her. She didn’t give him the chance, though, and I turned around just in time to watch her sink her knife straight into his chest. He gasped and sputtered, until finally collapsing to the ground in a crumpled heap.

Sooyoung breathed hard, her eyes moving to me. If she hadn’t shown up...

I closed the space between us and wrapped her tightly in my arms, burrowing my face into her shoulder. I couldn’t keep myself back, it was an instinctive urge to just... hold her like this. That’d been _so_ ** _terrifying_**. I’d almost died, _again_ , but she’d been there. She’d saved me, and I couldn’t even begin to think how much I owed her for that.

She tensed up from the contact, going stiff, and I considered drawing away. Just as I started to, though, I felt her hug me back so tight it almost knocked the wind out of me. She started to tremble, a subtle little quiver, but I felt it. Oh. Her breath was still audible, but it wasn’t from exertion anymore.

“Inhye.” I heard her mutter the name right into my ear, so quietly I almost didn’t catch it.

“Huh?”

“The girl. She’s dead.” Her fingers curled against my back, grabbing fistfuls of my still blood-stained sweater. Oh. So “Inhye” was the one she’d been looking for, and she’d gotten her answer about whether or not she’d survived. I guess Sooyoung’s suspicions had been right after all. That... made my chest feel hollow.

“I’m sorry...” I whispered gently, feeling so much empathy for her. I didn’t know what their relationship had been, but she was clearly shaken up. Based just on what was going on, I was sure I’d lost people too by that point, but I hadn’t had to _see_ it, so I could cling to hope. Sooyoung couldn’t do that anymore with this girl, and that was a hard pill to swallow.

She was strong, though. Always strong and stubborn. As if coming to her senses, she quickly withdrew from my grasp. I let her go, watching as she took a few steps back and sniffled so slightly I may’ve imagined it.

“Did he hurt you?” She asked me softly. I shook my head. Her gaze flitted between he and I a few times, her brow knitted together. “Did he...?” She couldn’t even seem to say what she was implying. There was a fire behind her eyes, a rage that was ready to burst out. Huh? Did she mean...? _Oh_.

I felt myself getting squeamish just from the thought, and I realized that could’ve gone _way_ worse than it actually had. People were... gross. It might not be the best idea to trust as easily as I tended to anymore. “ _No_ , no. He just wanted my stuff.” I never thought I’d be grateful for someone just wanting my stuff.

She visibly relaxed from the confirmation, but made sure to kick his corpse for good measure. She reached down, taking his revolver and her coat back. “Here. It’s cold.” She held it open for me, and I turned so she could slide it onto my shoulders. When I faced her again, she reached and buttoned up the few buttons on its front. Her hands were still shaking.

She slid her knife back into her thigh-high boot, instead favoring the revolver as she sighed shakily and somehow managing to steady herself with just that exhale. “Come on. We should keep moving.” I nodded, picking up my pipe again and sticking close to her heels.

We reached the curve of the alley, but she stopped again. It turned out onto the main road. We hovered, just watching. It was total, irreparable, chaos. I wasn’t ready to go into that again. I was so tired and scared, nervous adrenaline still pumping through me like blood from everything that’d just happened. Sooyoung didn’t seem up to it either. She scanned our environment closely until her gaze fixed on a door at our side. It looked like the back entrance to another apartment building.

Without another word, she clasped my hand and pulled me in. The door shut behind us from its own weight. We took a slow few steps down a short hallway--

\--only for two bullets from what sounded like an automatic rifle to sink into the wall next to us. I couldn’t help but shriek, and Sooyoung quickly pulled us back - out of the line of fire. The shots came from around the corner. My ears were ringing from the sound and more than anything I just felt like curling up into a ball and crying. I was sick of all these gunshots and monsters and close brushes with death. Couldn’t we get a break for two _seconds_?

Sooyoung sighed, checking how many bullets were in the revolver. That gun was small. Whatever had shot at us really did sound like a military-grade weapon. Like it was a soldier or something. We couldn’t stand up against that, I didn’t care how tough Sooyoung thought she was.

“Sooyoung, just... try to talk to them!” I whispered harshly, finding at least some comfort in knowing we were taking cover behind a wall. That gun couldn’t shoot us through a wall, right? Right...? I decided against thinking about it for too long.

Sooyoung didn’t seem too amused by my suggestion. “Talk?”

I nudged her, “Yes! It’s not like we can fight.” I pointed to her small revolver, and she looked at me as if the concept offended her. I met her eyes and stared hard, showing her that I was serious. It was probably the safest thing to do right now. Everything else might get us killed, and I was sick of taking risks like that.

She saw that I’d put up a fight if she tried anything else, and rolled her eyes. She was listening, but she made sure to do it begrudgingly. Lowering the revolver, she pressed herself against the wall and edged toward the corner, so her voice might better carry down the hall to whoever was shooting. I listened intently, every bone in my body feeling like it was coated in a layer of cement.

“Hey!! Stop fucking shooting at us, we aren’t like those things!!” She shouted. Okay, that wasn’t _exactly_ what I’d wanted her to say, but I guess I hadn’t specified.

It took a few seconds before we got any response. I was just happy they hadn’t shot at us again. “Go away! I don’t want any trouble!”

My heart practically stopped. Had I... misheard that? Was I just imagining things? I didn’t care if my brain had made it up. A sudden, irresistible urge moved my feet forward.

“Jungeun?!”

I burst out from our cover, Sooyoung reaching to grab me. She clasped my wrist but I shook her off, because I saw her. At the end of the hall. Crouched down, with her rifle still aimed at us. Her face fell when she saw me, when she recognized my face, and she dropped her gun to the floor. I couldn’t believe it. This couldn’t be real. I almost didn’t want to _let_ myself believe it, in case it was some sort of trick. I just stared, tears of such intense _relief_ filling my eyes and making my body start to shake.

She ran at me, closing that dreaded distance and the next second I was wrapped in her arms. I clung to her, afraid she’d dissipate into thin air if I let her go, burrowing my nose into her hair and willing myself to not break down into full on sobs. It _was_ her. She _was_ here, with me, and she was alive. Safe. Her holding me like this was so painfully nostalgic, it reminded me of when we were kids, when I’d hug her for no reason while we walked to school, when she lifted me up and spun me around at graduation, when I’d thrown her a surprise going away party before she got deployed. All that seemed like so long ago.

_(fanart drawn by twitter user<https://twitter.com/jiwoosaur>)_

I felt how hard she was shaking, I could hear how uneven her breaths were, and I knew she was probably going through just as much denial as I was that I was even there. That we’d somehow managed to stumble across each other in this total chaotic mess. I’d never been more grateful for anything in my life.

“Thank god...” She whispered gently in my ear, her hold on me tightening. “ _Fuck_ , Jiwoo, I was worried _sick_.” She burrowed her nose into the nape of my neck and I just stroked the back of her hair, content to have her against me and to feel her fast heartbeat. She was alive. _I_ was alive, somehow. We were alive, and we were together, and that was more than I’d ever even dared to hope for.

I laughed lightly, overcome. “I-I was worried you’d forgotten about me.” Oops. I hadn’t meant to say that. It just slipped out from my lack of an emotional filter. It... my voice and tone _sounded_ relieved and genuine, but the actual implication of the words wasn’t lost on either of us. We hadn’t forgotten about the year of separation, I could tell, unless I really meant that little to her that she didn’t know it’d been that long. Which was possible, too.

She pulled back from what I said, blinking hard. Her smile had faded, and mine started to. I wasn’t sure if I should apologize for saying that or not. Was it out of line? I didn’t know. I... wasn’t sure where we stood, exactly, but I did know that I was glad to see her. So glad.

“I--” Jungeun started to speak, her voice so familiar and nostalgic and comforting all at once, but Sooyoung decided it was time to chime in.

“I hate to interrupt this little reunion, but who’s that?” She pointed down the end of the hall, and I looked over Jungeun’s shoulder. Oh. There was another girl there, clearly wounded - bleeding from her face. Jungeun had been shielding her from our view when we’d come in, I hadn’t noticed her.

“Shit.” Jungeun turned back around and rushed forward, Sooyoung and I at her heels. The closer we got, the better we could see the severity of the injury, and all I could think was _ow_. She was pretty and blond, looking like a typical college student besides wearing what I assumed was Jungeun’s soldier jacket. I wondered if they were close or something. “This is Jinsol, I uh, bumped into her earlier, and she’s a bit worse for wear.”

Jinsol was awake, but just barely. Her head kept lolling on her neck, and she would grimace from what must’ve been pain every now and then. Jungeun reached up, gently resting her hand on Jinsol’s cheek and jostling her a bit. The girl’s eyes opened up again. “Hey, stay awake, Jinsol. Stay awake. Help is coming. Alright?” I couldn’t tell if Jinsol nodded or just let her head slouch on her neck.

Sooyoung crossed her arms, “What help is coming?” While she waited for an answer, she took the liberty of reaching into her coat’s pocket while it was still on me, pulling out a silk handkerchief and wiping away some blood from Jinsol’s face. It was coming from her eyebrow. There was a _nasty_ gash there.

Jungeun cleared her throat, as if not trusting the steadiness of her voice. “Another girl is helping us. I’m guarding Jinsol while she ran for supplies to fix her up. It’s been, uh...” She looked at the watch on her wrist and my heart skipped a beat. I’d gotten her that. I glanced toward my own wrist, at the bracelet I still wore, and I wondered if she’d noticed. And if she had, if she’d care. “...like, eight minutes. She said I should go myself after ten.”

“So she’s got two minutes.” Sooyoung added, looking closer at the cut. Jinsol stared at her oddly, squinting. “Better hope she hurries up.”

Jungeun didn’t seem to appreciate her tone. “And who’re you, exactly?”

Sooyoung hadn’t appreciated that tone, either, a glare settling in on her face. Okay, whoa. Tensions were high, we were all stressed out, but we didn’t need to start fighting or anything. I stepped slightly closer, “Um, Jungeun this is Sooyoung. She helped me get this far. I would’ve died like, a solid four times if she hadn’t been there.”

Jungeun eyed her strangely for a few more seconds before shrugging slightly and bringing her focus back to Jinsol. She was about to say something, but something suddenly pounded against the door right next to us. Jungeun stepped to be in front of Jinsol and I, raising her gun. Sooyoung brought her revolver back up too, more than ready to shoot.

“Who’s there?!” Jungeun called out in a firm, commanding voice that even made me scared.

“It’s Hyunjin! Let me in!” The person outside shouted, pounding on the door again.


	12. Buckle Up

**_Chaewon_ **

When everyone came back to the van from the pharmacy, they’d brought a girl I didn’t recognize and Yeojin with a busted up face. Nobody would answer my questions when they got back in, so I was left to fill in the blanks. Which was okay. I mean, I didn’t know these people, really. They’d finally told me their names on the way over. Yerim was nice to me. She’d keep track of Hyejoo and I, spinning around whenever Hyejoo stirred. I still held her head in my lap, even then, when I was waiting in the car with her and everyone else got out. Haseul had told me to keep her safe while they were gone. They all clamored inside an apartment building, following the new girl’s lead. I think I’d vaguely heard one of them calling her Hyunjin, so I was just gonna go with that.

I’d gotten lucky, _so_ lucky that they’d stopped for Hyejoo and I. I had no idea what I would’ve done if I’d just been left by myself. Those monsters would’ve closed in, and we’d be done for. I looked down at Hyejoo, who still hadn’t come to yet, brushing some hair off her face. One of her cheeks was scraped up pretty bad, the cuts shallow but numerous. She’d still had her backpack on that I’d given her, even after the accident, with all my rocks in it. I’d set it down on the floor of the car. I... wasn’t sure why I felt so intensely attached to this girl. Maybe because she’d saved my life back at the highschool, but... I dunno, it felt... different from simple gratitude. It’s hard to explain, and I had no real reason for it, but I needed her to be okay. I needed for her to wake up.

I watched the door they’d gone through, doing my best to make myself as small as I could in the backseat of the van. The windows were tinted but not totally blacked out. If someone saw me in here, if one of those things noticed me, all I had was my screwdriver. Hyejoo had lost her hammer in the crash. I wasn’t brave. Far from it, but... if I needed to protect Hyejoo, I would. As best as I possibly could.

The door to the apartment building finally burst open again, Haseul coming first, followed by a whole cohort of girls I didn’t recognize. One of them was bleeding, and another had a huge rifle. Well _that_ wouldn’t hurt to have around. Were they all getting in the car...? Oh. I shifted where I sat, pulling Hyejoo into a sitting position and clicking her seatbelt on. We needed to make as much room as we could.

They all clammored in, Haseul not going behind the wheel that time and instead ducking into the back seat. The soldier girl helped the one who was bleeding into the seat I’d opened up next to Hyejoo, and Haseul knelt in front of her with the bag of supplies we’d grabbed from the pharmacy.

“I can’t drive, guys, this girl needs treatment like _now_. Get _in_ and figure out who’s driving!!” Haseul blurted out, her eyes wide. It seemed like she was going into some sort of panic autopilot, where her instincts fully took over. I wasn’t sure if that was reassuring or nerve wracking.

**_Sooyoung_ **

“I’ll do it.” I spoke up, already heading to the driver’s seat without another word. They cleared the way for me, everyone else figuring out as best as they could where to sit. I got behind the wheel, buckling my seatbelt and adjusting the mirrors. “Where are we going?”

“I don’t know, just get the fuck _out_ of this.” The nurse pleaded from the backseat. Alright. Glad I didn’t have to try and navigate to a specific place. 

I looked in the rearview mirror at everyone. A girl scout was sitting on Jungeun’s lap, Jiwoo was hovering between the two middle seats, which wasn’t safe, but she didn’t really have a choice, and some girl with a bloody, busted up nose was sitting on Hyunjin’s lap.

I paused for a second, realizing something. “Wait, are you Hyunjin? Like _Kim_ Hyunjin, the MMA fighter?”

She nodded, seeming pretty unamused with the young girl she was saddled with. “You a fan?”

“Uhhh, you could say so.” I liked women’s fighting. What could I say, I was a simple lesbian. Now wasn’t really the time to fangirl. In fact, there probably couldn’t have been a _worse_ time to fangirl. “Everyone hang onto something.” I couldn’t exactly say to buckle up. Those who could, had. There was some girl with faded pink hair and glasses in the passenger’s seat. Maybe it would’ve been good to exchange names, but we didn’t really have time.

The nurse was patching up Jinsol as best as she could already. I glanced in the rearview mirror again and saw her putting some alcohol onto a swab, reaching to her face and cleaning the wound. The poor girl was so out of it she barely flinched, and I knew that must’ve stung like a bitch. Shit. I needed to drive really steady, didn’t I? I looked up at the road. It was total chaos. Barely a wide enough path through it to get a car in one lane, and vehicles of all kinds were rushing from both sides at totally random intervals. Yikes. This was gonna be rough. Didn’t really have time to stall, though.

I gripped the wheel with white knuckles and pushed my foot down on the gas. There was a small opening between a burning truck and a cluster of infected, and I didn’t really have time to think, I just took it. This needed my utmost focus, it really did, and I did my best to hone it. Ten other girls were depending on me to drive this car and not fuck up. So I made sure I wouldn’t.

A blond girl furthest in the back started to pester the nurse, “Can you help Hyejoo??” I assumed she was referring to the unconscious girl at her side. I’d noticed her before I started driving, but I didn’t dare so much as glance away from the road for even a second. Of course this car had to be a fucking minivan, perhaps the most impractical car to maneuver that I ever could’ve been asked to drive in these conditions.

The nurse sighed in frustration, probably almost as overwhelmed as I was. “Just-- the only thing I can do is give her painkillers. Besides that she just has to rest, she’ll come to in a bit.” Her voice was rushed and panicked.

I let myself take a deep breath, cherishing every single moment that there weren’t major obstacles in my way on this road. It only lasted for a few seconds anyway, so I really did have to savor it while it lasted.

The blonde seemed unconvinced, sounding almost just as distraught as the nurse had. “Are you sure?!”

She was losing her patience. “ _Yes_ , now Chaewon either help me or get out of my way!”

A huge truck sped by at the intersection, but I noticed it just in time to break. Shit. My heart was in my throat and I’d broken into a cold sweat. The car jolted from the sudden stop, and those without seatbelts struggled to grab onto something. Fuck, I couldn’t keep doing that if I could help it.

The nurse piped up in frustration. “Fuck, be careful! I’m trying to stitch her up!!”

“I’m fucking trying!” The intersection was swarmed now. With cars and people running and infected chasing them down. There was no space. No way for me to go unless I plowed straight into people or risked getting rammed by another car. So we were forced to stay in place, just staring ahead helplessly.

We were basically a waiting target. The infected on our street rushed the car, throwing themselves against it full force. Shit. They were either going to tip the car or break through those flimsy windows. Either of those would basically be certain death for us.

Jungeun leaned forward, shoving my shoulder. “Roll the windows down on my side.”

“What?!”

“ _Roll the windows down on my side, are you deaf?_ ” She shouted.” I let myself glance into the rearview mirror, ready to glare at her, or to deny her stupid plan, but I saw her rifle aimed at the window. Alright. Fine.

I rolled her window down halfway, enough for her to get the muzzle out, and she unleashed what must’ve been ten automatic bullets straight into the infected on that side. It thinned out the horde, but the noise drew more to take their place. Fuck. My finger was ready to roll the window back up as soon as she gave the word, but she wasn’t saying anything. The girl in the passenger’s seat nudged me too, gesturing to her small pistol. I rolled her window down and she pressed the muzzle right against a particularly beefy infected’s forehead, frantically rolling it back up herself as soon as it was dead.

Jungeun ran out of bullets in her clip and she cursed, fumbling for more ammo. We didn’t have time for that. I started to roll up the window, but it was too slow, and one of the infected got its hand inside. Shit shit _shit_. It started to struggle against the flimsy glass, trying to push it down so it could make its way in, but Hyunjin reached over and sliced at its arm with a machete I hadn’t noticed. She did it so hard she cut the arm clean off, buying us just enough time for the window to go up all the way. The girl scout on Jungeun’s lap yelped at the severed arm now on her skirt, tossing it away somewhere on the floor.

“Ew don’t put it on Jim!!” The girl with the bloody nose complained.

“Who the fuck is Jim?!” Jungeun asked.

“Fucking _go_!” Hyunjin shouted right in my ear. We couldn’t keep this up forever. We had limited ammo and not enough time. But the intersection was a mess. It showed no signs of clearing up. I watched it as closely as I could. Not even responding because I needed to _focus_. Watch for an opening, even the _slightest_ chance, aaaand...

There was one. Or as much of one as we were going to get. No cars were coming. There were a few infected in the way, chasing some poor sap. We needed to go. I pressed my foot back on the gas, the car surging forward. I slammed into an infected and over another, the car lurching over it but still going. We’d made it through, somehow.

“Did you just run _over_ that guy?!” The girl with the broken nose exclaimed in awe. I didn’t answer, I couldn’t divert a single second of focus to anything but the road.

An infected lunged at my side of the car when we slowed down at a fire in the middle of the road. I picked up the pace again, but it clung to the door. Shit. I glanced at the girl in the passenger’s seat. “Hold the wheel.” I told her, and she listened, reaching over to do as I said. I unlocked my door and threw it open with as much force as I could, the thing startled enough from the motion to lose its grip and tumble onto the road. I barely shut my door in time, the edge of it nearly catching on a streetlamp. Shit. Too close.

“Stop _swerving so much_ I almost poked her fucking eye out!!” The nurse piped up from the back. It was more of a desperate plea than a critique. I think she knew I was doing my best.

We needed to stop the car, or find some place less hectic, or _something_. Jinsol was in serious danger, and it wasn’t the nurse’s fault, or mine really, we were just not in an ideal location. My mind racked itself for something, anything.

**_Vivi_ **

The girl driving whose name I still didn’t know turned suddenly, sharply, and we all collectively lurched to the side from the sudden motion. I braced myself as she somehow managed to skillfully maneuver the car so she could back it into an alleyway. The van’s bumper knocked over some trash cans, which clattered and made noise, but the infected were distracted by a few soldiers who decided to unleash automatic fire on them as some sort of last stand. We’d gotten lucky, yet again, but the driver wasn’t going anywhere now. She was just sitting there, her eyes scanning our surroundings closely.

The soldier girl we’d picked up shoved Yerim off her lap and quickly jumped out. “Hyunjin, Sooyoung, anyone with a weapon, with me!” Oh - I had a weapon. I wasn’t very good with it, but I had one, so I guess that included me? The people she’d named all got out of the car at her very compelling command, but I sat still for a few seconds.

I guessed Sooyoung was the driver, because she started to move as soon as that name was called. She locked the doors behind her, hopping out with a small revolver. Frozen, I watched as Jungeun shouted something at them, and they all collectively started to push and tug at a dumpster. It was heavy, despite having wheels. Hyunjin did most of the work on one end, but that was the end they were turning toward the street. She was unprotected and out in the open. Shit, I had to help. Now wasn’t the time to get cold feet.

“Stay inside, be _careful_.” I looked back at Haseul, noting the diligent, careful work she was doing as she stitched up that poor girl’s eyebrow. Even from the quick glance I caught, I could tell her work was actually better than she’d likely give herself credit for. We’d probably gotten to that girl right in time. She was lucky. Haseul didn’t address what I said, too focused on the task at hand, but Chaewon nodded shakily. Hyejoo looked like she was starting to wake up.

I hopped out of the car, realizing when I looked that the other girls were pushing the dumpster to block off the entrance to the alley. It wasn’t quite wide enough, but it would definitely make it more of a hassle for the infected to get back here. Oh, smart. The soldier girl was resourceful. She and Sooyoung pushed one end while Hyunjin pulled the other side for more leverage. They’d almost gotten it fully sideways, blocking our van from view of the road, but again, Hyunjin needed protection. I rushed to her side, pistol drawn, body shaking but mind clear. None of the infected had noticed us yet, somehow. The dumpster was surprisingly quiet considering how much it must’ve weighed.

One of the things finally noticed our antics and charged right for us, its arms outstretched and clawing in Hyunjin’s direction. She was too tuned into the task at hand, she didn’t even notice it. I raised my gun, shutting one eye to aim as carefully as I could, and pulled the trigger. The bullet went straight into its shoulder and the force of the impact made it fall to the ground. It wasn’t dead, but I didn’t want to waste another bullet. Hyunjin had dropped her machete to the road so she could better grip the dumpster with both hands, and I took the liberty of scooping it up. Before that infected had a chance to get its bearings, I was already there, thrusting the blade straight through its chest so hard that I felt it hit the pavement beneath its body.

A strong arm suddenly grabbed me from behind and was pulling me straight back into the alley. We had to sidle past our makeshift dumpster barricade to get back to the car, which was relieving because I’d started to doubt if the infected would have the mental capacity to do that as long as we didn’t make much noise.

“How’s Jinsol?!” The soldier girl blurted out frantically, already back by the side of the van.

Haseul didn’t respond. I poked my head through the window, looking back there, and saw that the suture job was almost done. Just a few more careful run throughs and... she snipped the string clean with a quick breath, finally letting her body untense for the first time in a while. Nobody said a word as she reached back into the pharmacy supply bag, pulled a bandage out and some medical tape.

“What’re you doing with those?” Yeojin asked curiously. I was amazed she hadn’t complained more about her nose.

Haseul felt enough at ease to explain, “We just need to put a bandage here. It’s as closed as it’s gonna get but we don’t want it opening up again to bleed or get infected.” She bit off a long piece of the tape, wrapping it gently around Jinsol’s head and placing a folded up bandaged right against her eye. The soldier girl watched with bated breath, her eyes wide. The two must’ve been close, or at least they seemed it.

Finally, Haseul was content with the treatment and let out a long, drawn out breath. The whole car seemed to deflate slightly, although we all knew we were far from out of the woods. At least there wasn’t a girl in the backseat one wrong turn away from getting her eye impaled with a needle.

“Haseul you’re a _really_ good nurse.” Yerim piped up admiringly. She was right.

Haseul blushed, as if that praise was unwarranted, and turned to face the rest of us. “Alright, uh... I guess we should get back on the road?”

The soldier shook her head firmly, “No. We almost died like eighty times back there and we drove for two minutes. The streets are a no go...” She looked around where we’d taken brief refuge, hefting the weight of that rifle around like it was nothing. “I’d say we try to find a place to rest for a bit. Maybe even spend the night.”

Hyunjin stepped closer suddenly, getting right in the soldier’s face. “ _Spend the night?_ Look, I helped you find your friend,” She pointed emphatically to a girl with bangs who hadn’t said much of anything. “ _You_ said we’d do _my_ end of the bargain now.” Okay, there was clearly some prior history here.

Soldier girl looked conflicted, stammering out parts of words for a few seconds before Sooyoung stepped in unexpectedly. “I dunno what you’re fighting about, but Jungeun is right, we shouldn’t try those roads again right now. Now, we have no proof it’ll be any less hectic in the morning, but it’s at least worth a shot. I say we rest.”

Hyunjin was starting to get angry. I could basically see her blood boiling. “ _I need to find someone._ I don’t even _know_ half you people! Jungeun told me she’d help me find my girlfriend, and now she’s trying to back out of it!!”

“I’m not trying to back out of it!! I just don’t want either of us winding up dead, I’m _trying_ to be smart about this!” Jungeun stood her ground, the brief uncertainty and confliction that’d showed on her face being replaced with firm stubbornness.

Hyunjin’s face was nearly reddening. I was worried she may hit Jungeun, actually. “Oh, so ‘being smart’ involves leaving my girlfriend by herself in all this?! With _no_ protection, waiting for me to meet her in the spot _I_ suggested?!”

“It’s not _my_ fault that you told your girlfriend to meet you at a fucking infested college campus, and it’s not _my_ fault you got separated, so _stop_ blaming me!!” Jungeun shouted. We really shouldn’t be shouting right now, but I was a bit too timid to intervene. Jungeun’s outburst and raised volume seemed to catch Hyunjin a bit off guard though, making her more apt to listen. Jungeun took a deep breath, soothing her own mounting anger. “Look, I’ll help you. Okay? I made a promise and I won’t go back on it, especially now that I found Jiwoo. So just... can we rest? Recuperate, get our bearings, and then start fresh in the morning?” 

That sounded reasonable, and I wasn’t even 100% informed about the circumstances here. Hyunjin made sure to stare Jungeun down with narrowed eyes, glaring intensely for a few more lingering seconds before backing down. She didn’t say a word of confirmation, just crossed her arms and sneered. Alright, I guessed that was her way of complying.

“Okay. Well, this building looks like an office or something.” Sooyoung pointed at the nearest wall. “I’d say we try to get to the top floor, barricade ourselves in a room and just keep quiet.”

I was so tired I’d sleep on the dirt of this alleyway at that point, so anything better than that sounded great to me. There were some murmurs of agreement and nods from the rest of the group. I glanced in the back of the car and saw a disoriented but awake Hyejoo blinking, squinting around at all the unfamiliar faces. Oh right, she hadn’t met any of us yet. That was probably jarring. She winced and reached up to her head. She’d probably have a nasty bump there.

We unloaded the car with what supplies we brought and headed inside. The door we went through from the alley thankfully led into a stairwell, which we took to the highest floor. It was a small, dingy office of some sort. Hyunjin helped Sooyoung push two heavy desks in front of the door, and we all finally felt like we could relax. Well, maybe relax was a strong word, but we could at least get a breath in.


	13. Rest Period 1 - A Forgotten Office

**_Hyunjin_ **

Jungeun was sitting by the door in a desk chair, rifle still held loosely in her hands. I stared at her from across the room, arms crossed. My frustration and anger had died down a bit, but it was still there. Jungeun was... I dunno. I stood for a while longer and just tried to think as the others bustled around me, finding their own spots to relax or trying to take stock of supplies. Jungeun... sounded honest back there. Things were crazy. Maybe she really was just trying to do what was best for us, but I sure as hell couldn’t relax like everyone else when I knew Heejin was out there, probably alone, in this absolute chaos. My chest had been tight ever since I’d left her in that damned restaurant and I hadn’t really breathed since.

But that wasn’t Jungeun’s fault. Or at least, the small hopeful part of me didn’t want to believe she’d done this with bad intentions. I didn’t want to get paranoid and automatically assume the worst of people, but it was hard sometimes. What if she never really intended on helping me? What if she just wanted to use me to get to her friend, and that was all? What if, what if, what if. Enough what ifs. Why not just ask?

I walked up to her, pulling up a different desk chair along the way and sitting at her side. She noticed my approach and eyed me strangely, not bothering to speak first because I think she had a feeling I had something to say.

“Were you lying to me back there?” I asked her plainly. No point scooting around it. I stared at her hard, ready to catch the slightest sign of dishonesty.

Her response was immediate, and she didn’t hesitate to spin her chair to face me and directly meet my eyes. “No.” I kept staring, but didn’t say a word. I believed her. Really, I did, but some extra reassurance wouldn’t hurt. She shifted slightly where she sat, clearly feeling put on the spot, but the way she said her next words was just as genuine. “Jiwoo just bumped into me. We didn’t even really have to go looking. That was lucky, hell, that was _more_ than lucky, but I still owe you for even helping Jinsol and I get that far. I’m not gonna go back on that promise. I know exactly how you feel - wanting to find someone so bad you feel it gripping your gut and like you can’t even breathe until you see that they’re okay.” My stern face faltered for a moment. That was literally _exactly_ how I was feeling. Her gaze flitted across the room, toward Jiwoo, who was helping Haseul unpack some things. “It’s an awful feeling. And I’m sorry that you got separated. I’ll help you as best as I can. I keep my promises.”

I believed her. And weirdly enough, I trusted her. She understood how I felt, how much it made you want to panic, how you were so frustrated at your own helplessness you almost wanted to scream. Her understanding would motivate her to actually want to help me. And damn, did I need help. I was strong but I knew it’d be nearly impossible to get to Heejin by myself. And I wasn’t made of stone. I got scared too. I was fucking _terrified_ this whole time. Terrified of those things, terrified of them biting me, terrified of something happening to Heejin... god. This was so hard.

Jungeun took a deep breath, speaking her next words cautiously. “How did you two get separated? Heejin was her name, right?”

I nodded. It was surreal hearing someone else say it, for some reason. “We were at her work - a restaurant, when those things barged in. I told her to hide in the kitchen, but one chased her in there and knocked a fridge in front of the door. I couldn’t push it open, but when I tried to go in from the back, some dumb car slammed into a gas station and blew it up.” Her eyes widened, almost like she didn’t believe how unlucky I’d been. Hell, I still could hardly believe it either. “The explosion tipped over a telephone pole, which fell into the restaurant, and started to spread a fire.”

Jungeun scooted her chair closer, clearly engrossed. “Wait, a _fire_?” I think I’d mentioned it before, but it must’ve slipped her mind. I couldn’t blame her. We’d dealt with a lot that day.

I nodded. “I tried to get in the back door, but the fire was behind it so I couldn’t. Those things kept coming, and it was... I had to fight them off _and_ try to get to her all at once. She told me to just go. So I did, and... I said I’d meet her at her dorm. So, I need to get back there.”

Jungeun looked at me in a way I couldn’t quite decipher. I didn’t like it, though. It almost seemed like... pity? I didn’t want her to pity me. “So... Heejin was in that room, alone, with an infected, and the place was on fire... was there a way out?” She was being careful about what she said, and I couldn’t quite tell why. She didn’t have to walk on eggshells around me.

“I... I dunno. The door was blocked, and the only window was way too small for her to fit through...”

Her face fell, a frown tugging at the ends of her lips. “Um... did she have a weapon? Or...?”

My chest was getting tighter and tighter. I was picturing Heejin, alone in that kitchen with one of those things, trying to fend it off as the fire got hotter and she had nowhere to go and... I couldn’t do it. My heart was aching. She got out. She must’ve gotten out. I just... she _had_ to be okay.

“She had a knife.” Was all I told Jungeun.

A silence spread. Almost like a respectful one. I knew what she was implying and I didn’t fucking appreciate it. A scowl settled itself on my features and I couldn’t ward it away. I didn’t want her treating me like some pitiable, delusional girlfriend in denial. Heejin was okay. I knew she was, because... if she wasn’t, I felt like I’d be able to tell. Like we had a strong enough connection that I’d... I dunno, sense it? That sounds stupid and ridiculous, but...

_Heejin can’t be dead_. I thought to myself, shaking my head back and forth at even the thought. Fuck. My eyes stung. I blinked hard, keeping it together.

“How long have you guys been together...?” Jungeun asked weakly. I appreciated the change of subject. But I knew what Jungeun thought. Deep down, she thought this was a lost cause. She could think that all she wanted, as long as she didn’t dare say it to my face. I knew it wasn’t a lost cause. I knew I wasn’t crazy for looking.

“A little over a year.” I muttered, clasping my hands together when I noticed the way they’d started to shake.

“Oh... that’s nice.” She stared down at her boots.

I got to my feet. That was enough of this. “She’s alive, you know.” I made sure to mutter. It felt like I had to say it aloud.

It caught Jungeun off guard. “I-I... I mean... yeah, I didn’t say that--”

“She’s alive, and I’m gonna find her, with or without your help.” I started to walk to the other side of the room, but she clasped my hand and held me in place.

“I’ll help you, Hyunjin. I promised.” Her grip was tight. I stared back at her, and saw in her eyes again that she was telling the truth. Even if she did think it was a lost cause, she was still gonna help me. And that meant something.

Eventually she let me go. I nodded at her and moved to sit on the floor in another part of the room, burying my face in my hands.

_Heejin,_ **_please_ ** _be okay._

**_Haseul_ **

We made it. Somehow, against absolutely all odds, we’d made it to someplace relatively safe. I couldn’t relax, my blood was still pumping and my hands still shook from the stress of trying to patch up Jinsol in the back of an unsteady van. I was still practically in denial that I’d managed that, but I wasn’t complaining. After taking stock of the disturbingly limited amount of medical supplies we had left, I looked around. Everyone had spread out, focusing on themselves. A girl who introduced herself to me as Jiwoo gave me a big, bright smile that was surprisingly refreshing.

My eyes lingered on Yerim. She was sitting near the corner, her legs tucked beneath her chin as she absentmindedly traced her fingers along the dingy carpeting. Her eyes were blank and distant, staring off at nothing. I noticed the bandage I’d put on her calf, and my mind flashed back to how I’d bumped into her at the hospital: confused, panicked and in tears. She’d been so brave through this. So positive, somehow, even after what she’d been through. What she must’ve seen.

I walked up to her slowly and knelt down right in front of her to block her line of sight. She blinked twice, looking up at me with a timid smile.

I returned it as best as I could, but it was hard. I wasn’t sure how she managed to keep doing it. “You don’t have to smile.” I told her, making my voice as soft as gentle as I possibly could.

That concept seemed to confuse her. Her brows knitted together. “I... Girl Scout Law Code #8 - a girl scout smiles under all difficulties.”

I sighed lightly. Again with the girl scout rules thing. I wondered if that helped her, if that brought her back to a simpler time where she felt more in control. I didn’t have anything like that, and if I had, I probably would’ve been clinging to it too. “Right... you’re a really devoted scout, huh?”

She nodded, traces of a smile still there. It wasn’t genuine, though. It was forced, but persistent somehow. “Yeah! I love the girl scouts. I’ve been one for forever. Getting promoted to troop leader was probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me!” She pulled her knees down so she could show me her sash, pointing at the various badges on it. “It’s not easy to get badges, you’ve gotta be like, extra good at something. And see these ones?” She pointed to a specific section. Those looked hand-painted. “I made these ones! I make my own sometimes, and I’d give them to the girls in my troop and they’d get so happy and excited and... they’d... smile so big, and...” Her smile faded, eyes becoming distant again.

I remembered what she’d said about her troop. What’d happened to them. She was so young. More than anything I wished that she hadn’t had to go through that. I felt so protective of her. And I definitely hadn’t forgotten what she’d put herself through back at that hospital just to keep me safe. She was selfless and sweet, someone I would’ve wished Yeojin had been friends with.

She didn’t say anything else. She sniffled and wrapped her arms around herself, not looking at me anymore as her eyes got glossy. I felt myself getting emotional too, from how much it must’ve hurt her, from how rough it was for her to even speak of the girls who were gone now. I moved, an instinctive, protective urge pulling me closer, and just held her. She started shaking, hiding her face in my shoulder.

“Shh. Don’t cry. Everything’s okay.” I told her weakly. It wasn’t okay. But I wasn’t sure what else to tell her. Her hands moved, balling up fistfuls of the front of my scrubs. If anything, my saying that just made the tears start to leave her even faster. Her body shook harder, and although no sobs left her, small little noises did. I hated the sound. I didn’t want her to cry, I wanted her to be okay, for her to feel safe, even though that was practically impossible. I’d keep her safe. I had to keep her safe. “You’re so brave, Yerim.”

“I-I’m not...” She whispered so quietly it was almost too muffled to hear.

I tightened my grip on her, not liking the way she was doubting herself. “Yes. You _are_.” I cradled the back of her head with my hand, noting the way she shook it back and forth against my shoulder. “You’re sweet, and you’re good, and you _are_ brave. You saved me back there. In the hospital, you saved me.”

“I-I couldn’t even kill her. I couldn’t kill her, I-I just hit her, I-I should’ve--”

“--you did what you had to do, and we got out, and we survived. That’s what matters.” I told her reassuringly, gently rocking her back and forth. I couldn’t believe she was blaming herself. After everything, she’d found a way to blame herself. This poor girl.

“I-I should’ve killed her. Now she’s still one of those things and she’s running around and she’s _biting_ people, a-and I _knew_ her, I _knew_ her, I-I gave her a badge last week for flower-picking and now she’s a _monster_ and I--”

“--Shhhhh.” My heart was aching for this poor girl. This poor, sweet girl. She didn’t deserve this. She deserved so much better than this. “Stop. Don’t think about that, sweetie, please don’t think about that. It’s okay. Everything’s okay. That wasn’t your fault.”

A small sob left her. “It _was_ my fault, I was supposed to protect her but one of those _things_ came out of _nowhere_ and it _bit_ her and--”

“--It _wasn’t_ your fault, Yerim. None of that was your fault.” She didn’t say anything else. Just kept the rest of her sobs inside and held onto me.

“Haseul?” She asked me weakly, her voice a small little thing all over again. She sounded... scared. Worried, even.

“Yeah?”

“I-I... I know that we... we’re with other people now, and I sort of like being with other people, a-and I don’t know where they want to go, but... um... do you think we could look for my parents...?” She asked that so cautiously.

Oh. Oh, no, that was such a well-intentioned, endearing request. And it was even worse because I didn’t really have an answer for her. At least not a solid one. I couldn’t speak for everyone else here. Hell, I barely even knew half of their names, let alone where they wanted to go. And... Jungeun had a gun, Hyunjin was strong, the girl who’d driven earlier seemed put together, or at least like she could hold her own better than I could. My priority was keeping everyone safe. That’d always been my priority, so I should stick with the tough people. Right? But... Yerim wanted to see her parents, which made sense, and was so incredibly valid and warranted.

I could help her. I could stick with Yeojin and Vivi, and maybe someone else would come with us, and we’d help her. But... should I promise that? Should I make a promise that it might not be safe to keep?

“Yerim... if it’s safe, and... if it’s not too out of the way, then yes. We can look.” I told her softly, making my voice slow and clear so she wouldn’t mishear me. It was so hard being realistic with her like this. More than anything I wished I could tell her that of _course_ , of _course_ we could look for them, of course they were okay and we’d find them and everything would be fine. But I couldn’t lie. I couldn’t give her false hope. That’d make things worse.

She nodded. She was trying to be mature, trying to rationalize it out. But that was hard. It’d be hard for anybody, and she was so young.

I took a deep breath. “Do you know where they might be...?” I wasn’t lying - I genuinely wanted to help her. I genuinely wanted to find her parents, and more than _anything_ I wished that they _were_ okay. I was sure that a lot of people in that room didn’t know where their parents were. _I_ didn’t know where my parents were. By sheer odds, at least _one_ of us had parents who were still okay... right?

Yerim sniffled, trying to get it together. “Right near downtown. Near my school.”

Okay. Downtown. In the city. I... didn’t want to stay in the city. Not if we could help it, but... if we were nearby, I’d help Yerim. She’d helped me. It was the least I could do, and she deserved that closure. Yeojin and Vivi would stick with me, no matter what. Yerim probably would too. I owed it to her to at least try. It was probably wrong of me to automatically assume that Yerim’s parents were... not around. That wasn’t guaranteed. Maybe they’d gotten to safety. Maybe they’d protected themselves.

“Alright. I... I’m not sure where we’re headed in the morning. We should probably talk about it once we all get up...” I stroked her hair gently. “No matter _what_ happens, I’ll stay with you.” I meant that.

Her grip on me tightened. “Thank you...” After a few lingering seconds, she sniffled again and drew away. Her eyes were glossy and red around the rims, but she smiled at me again. A small, sad thing. “I just... thank you.” She glanced around the room at everyone else, and stood up. She started rooting through various desk drawers for something, tugging a blank badge from her pocket. I decided against asking what she was up to, instead just leaving her to it.

I could really use a nap.

**_Yeojin_ **

Today had definitely been a wild day. Part of me felt like I just had to sit still for hours on end and try to process it all, but that was lame, so no. I’d figure it out, I always did. According to my calculations, I’d almost died... uh... four times? Which was way more times than I’d ever almost died before. I wasn’t a big fan of it. It was pretty scary, not to sound like a chicken or anything. But I kept it together. Jim was still with me, I’d set him down near the door to help guard. He’d keep me safe no matter what, so that was nice.

My nose _hurt_. Like, _ow_. I’d never been punched before, surprisingly, let alone by an MMA fighter. Speaking of, Hyunjin finished talking to Jungeun and went over to be by herself. She looked sort of down. Maybe I could cheer her up? Or something? At least try to.

I headed over, sitting at her side against the wall. Her face was hidden in her hands and she wasn’t looking at anyone. She hadn’t even noticed I’d sat with her.

“You totally broke my nose.” I told her plainly. It was already starting to get all swollen. My voice was a bit nasally too.

She took a deep breath, tugging her hands away and looking at me blankly. “I didn’t mean to.”

I scoffed, raising an eyebrow at her. “That’s a pretty big oops.” She just shrugged. She didn’t need to apologize again, she already had back in the pharmacy, and I knew she hadn’t done it on purpose. I just thought it was funny, more than anything. “It’s okay. Haseul has said I should get punched a lot, so I guess it’s just karma accumulated after years of empty threats.”

Hyunjin chuckled slightly under her breath, shaking her head back and forth. “That’s one way to look at it.”

I shifted to be more directly in front of her, scooting closer. She eyed me with a very faint smile, but at least it was something. More than I’d expected to get out of her since she was sulking so intensely minutes earlier. “So you fight people? Like, for a _job_?”

She nodded. “Yep.”

I scooted closer. “That’s so _cool_. Can I do that?! Can you train me to fight?! I wanna fight.”

“Uh... it’s kinda hard. You have to train a lot, work out, go on like a strict diet--”

“--You lost me.” I waved dismissively at her.

She laughed, “I mean, you’re _supposed_ to go on diets, but I don’t really. Bread is my fuel.”

I nodded in ready agreement with that sentiment, reaching forward with an extended fist. She accepted the fist-bump, hitting me just a bit too hard, and I recoiled as if she’d hurt my wrist. “A fellow bread-lover, eh? A woman of true taste.”

She rolled her eyes playfully at me. “You’re weird.”

I nodded, accepting the comment. “That’s valid.” I reached forward, squeezing one of her arms - startled by the muscle mass there. “You’re so _buff_. You could’ve punched me in half!! Oof I wished I’d been able to see your fights and stuff. I guess seeing you punch zombies is just as good.”

She shook her head firmly. “Nah. Fighting in the ring is totally different. There’s music and fancy lights and cheering and it’s _crazy_.”

“Oh, would you want me to cheer for you next time we’re fighting zombies?? I totally absolutely can do that. Do you have a fan chant? Cuz I stan.”

She laughed again, a real one, not a pity one - I could tell the difference. Good. I mean, duh, she was still sad, but at least she was laughing a bit. Laughter was the best medicine. In that way, I was a better nurse than Haseul. “I don’t have a fan chant, no. And cheering for me might just draw more zombies to us so, perhaps don’t.”

I pouted, “Want me to _make_ you a fan chant?? I could. Really, it’d be--”

“Yeojin-ahh.” Haseul came over to me slowly, grasping my shoulder and tugging me to my feet. “Stop bugging people. I’m sorry Hyunjin, is she bothering you?”

Hyunjin opened her mouth to respond, but seemed to hesitate, like the question was hard to answer. “Uhh, no?”

Haseul didn’t buy it. “Well, she should be getting some rest anyways. Come on.” Against my will, she led me away, but I made sure to blow Hyunjin a quick kiss before I went too far. She caught it playfully, looking at it as if it were in her palm before punching it with a tight fist.

Wig.

**_Vivi_ **

I watched wordlessly as Haseul brought Yeojin over to a desk, tugging the one pillow I’d thought to bring from my place out of Yerim’s backpack and giving it to her. Of course she’d give it to her. I knew that Haseul’s priority throughout this whole disaster would be to keep Yeojin safe. To keep all of us safe, really. Once you got in Haseul’s good graces, she cared about you more than herself. And although that was endearing and normally only a good, kind thing to do, now? It made me worried. More worried than I knew how to deal with.

She took a deep breath, letting her hair out of its tight ponytail for a moment to run her fingers through it, and my heart skipped a beat. I should probably talk to her. We hadn’t gotten much of a chance to, and... I dunno. I just felt like I should. Or maybe I wanted to. Either way, when her eyes scanned the room again, I met her gaze. She shot me a small, warm but tired smile, which I struggled to return, and I patted the space next to me on the floor. She practically gravitated toward me, sitting there with a small “oof.” I was glad she’d gotten off her feet.

“You don’t have to take care of everyone, you know.” I told her softly, quietly, as if I didn’t want any of the others to hear.

She shrugged. “I mean... I’m a nurse. So I kind of--”

“--I just mean... I want you to be careful.” I wasn’t sure where I was going with this. It felt like I was skirting around something. It always felt like that when I was talking to Haseul, but I wasn’t even really sure what I was keeping back.

It’d seemed like she’d been avoiding me lately. Cancelling our lunch plans more often, finding excuses to not bump into me at the coffee shop we used to frequent, taking longer to answer texts and picking up her phone less whenever I called. I didn’t want us to get distant. I cared about her, I _really_ cared about her, but for some reason she’d been more standoffish than ever. I remembered when she’d text me first thing every morning, when she’d surprise me at work between her breaks in shifts - which was ridiculous, because the hospital was ten minutes away and the walk to the lab and back would take more than half her break. I remembered late night slumber parties at her apartment when I’d still be slammed with work to do, and I’d lay it out on the dingy table in her kitchen, trying to do it all while she refilled my coffee and played with my hair and wrapped her arms around my middle from behind and...

But that was when things were different. That was when we... were together. I glanced at her from the corner of my eye. She was staring down at her hands, noting the specks of blood still there from, well, practically performing surgery in the backseat of a van. I reached into my pocket, tugging out my handkerchief and moving to wipe her hands with it. She was shaking slightly.

“I am careful.” She told me, her voice surprisingly firm. That certainty and calm wasn’t showing through anywhere else - not in her expression, her demeanor or her eyes.

Even after I’d cleaned them off, I held onto those hands, the two of us still leaning against the wall and staring out at everyone else. People were gradually finding places to get some sleep. It wasn’t too comfortable, Yeojin had really lucked out with that pillow.

“I know you are, but... Haseul... I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you, okay?” I whispered that last part so faintly I wondered if she’d even heard. If she hadn’t, I doubted my ability to repeat myself. I... had barely even anticipated saying that, but I felt like it needed to be said. Like I needed to tell her that, in case I wasn’t able to anymore.

Her nose scrunched up, something she always did when she was confused. I wasn’t sure what there was to be confused about. The faintest trace of a blush was visible on her cheeks. She pulled her hands from my loose grasp, resting them on her lap.

“Vivi, you’re... this is really confusing for me.” She shifted, as if to get to her feet, to leave, but I grabbed her arm and held her in place.

“What do you mean?” She shook her head and tried to stand again, but I tightened my grip.

“I can’t... just...” She shut her eyes. I hadn’t meant to be confusing. I was just telling her how I felt. What was confusing about that?

I’d always felt a dependency on Haseul. Ever since I met her, there was this... connection, and it hadn’t gone anywhere. At least on my end. Maybe it wasn’t the same for her anymore. Maybe it’d faded. Oh. I let her go. She could leave now, if she wanted, but she didn’t. She just sighed heavily and leaned back against the wall, burying her face into her hands.

I rested my hand gently on her back, rubbing a slow, cautious circle there. For a while, she was quiet. And that was okay. I was just content to be with her like this.

“You be careful, too.” Haseul finally spoke, revealing her face and staring down at the floor. “I... _please_ **_please_** be careful.” Her voice wavered and nearly broke. The sentiment was still mutual, then. That was reassuring, I got really worried for a second.

I shifted my hand down, instead wrapping my arm around her middle and scooting closer. She sighed again, resting her head on my shoulder. She still trembled slightly and I wished I could stop that, that I could steady her somehow.

“We’ll figure something out.” I told her weakly, not even sure if I genuinely believed that. I thought saying it would make the concept seem more real, but it didn’t. I wished I could be a natural optimist like Yerim, but that just wasn’t in my nature. “We always figure something out.”

“Yeah... as long as you’re here, we’ll figure something out.” The sincerity behind those words made my chest lighten.

I wasn’t sure if we actually would “figure things out.” I wasn’t even sure if either of us would even make it out of this godforsaken city alive. I wasn’t sure if anything would actually be “okay” ever again, but... she was right. As long as _she_ was there, my world wouldn’t have ended, even if everyone else’s had.

**_Jungeun_ **

It was sort of pointless to guard this door. It was barricaded well enough, and I could clearly see it from anywhere in the room. I spun in my chair, my mind still wandering to the conversation I’d had with Hyunjin earlier. The promise I’d made. I wondered how I was going to deal with that in the morning - if I could convince the group to collectively help Hyunjin, or if we’d have to split. I barely even knew these people. In fact, the only person in this room who I really “knew” at all was Jiwoo.

I stopped spinning my chair when I faced her. She was puttering on the other side of the room, counting the supplies that the nurse - who I believe was named Haseul - had laid out on one of the desks. For the first time in the last few hours, I finally shrugged my rifle’s strap from my shoulder and propped it up against the nearest wall. I got to my feet and slowly walked toward her.

She was muttering to herself, as if wanting to keep track of what we had and what we didn’t. I gently rested my hand on her side, making her jump slightly when she was jolted from her thoughts. She spun around, noting that it was me and smiling her big, toothy smile I knew so well. I’d missed seeing that. I missed how easy it was to get that smile to show up, how it’d make even the most bitter of strangers back in our hometown begrudgingly grin back at her.

I returned the smile effortlessly, still barely even believing she was there. Without letting myself think too much about it, I reached forward and slowly wrapped her in my arms again. I hadn’t gotten to hug her for long enough when I’d found her. We were in a rush, we were under pressure, Jinsol had needed help. But now there was none of that. Now it was just us. She returned the embrace, taking a deep breath, giggling slightly.

  
“What’s this for?” I felt her dainty fingers playing with the back of my hair. I’d had to cut it for the military. I don’t think she’d ever seen it short, and Jiwoo was the type to be really fascinated by that sort of thing. She fiddled with the ends, twirling it gently.

I shrugged. “Glad you’re here.”

She chuckled again, and I felt my chest lighten. “Ahh, you big softie.”

I drew away, wanting to look at her face, at those eyes I’d been so terrified I wouldn’t see sparkle this way again. Every time I saw her I felt _so_ much nostalgia it was overwhelming. I’d never known someone as long as I’d known Jiwoo. I’d never known anyone better than I knew Jiwoo. And I wouldn’t trade our friendship for anything, _nothing_ in the world.

She tilted her head at me, knowing me too well to not notice how my mind wandered. “What’re you thinking about?”

I lied. “Wondering where we’re heading tomorrow, that’s all.” I suppose it wasn’t a total lie. I had been thinking about that earlier.

Jiwoo hummed curiously. “Yeah... you said we’re helping that girl. Are we doing that first?” I wasn’t sure what to say to that. If I kept my promise, then yeah, we _should_ , but I wondered if I’d be able to convince the others to come with. She took my silence as unspoken uncertainty, which it was. “I... I just want to get out of the city. I wanna go back home... Jungeun, what if it hasn't gotten that far? What if things are okay out there?” She asked me weakly. She was cautious. She didn’t want to get her hopes up, but that was hard for her. That’d always been hard for Jiwoo. She consistently hoped for the best, and although she absolutely always deserved it, the world wasn’t always fair like that.

Jiwoo had fonder memories of home than I did. Even so, she was right. We should go back. I sure as hell didn’t want to leave her again, so if that was where she wanted to go, then yeah. We’d go. The whole “maybe the infection hasn’t spread there yet” thing, though? I was skeptical to say the very least.

My mind wandered again, back to what she’d told me in that apartment hallway. She thought I’d forgotten about her. As if that would happen. I looked at her hard, not wanting her to think that for even a second and hating that she probably had.

“Jiwoo...” I wasn’t sure how to word this. I wasn’t sure how to tell her that I was just... a not great person. I wasn’t perfect, I knew I wasn’t, and I knew nobody was, but the guilt, the pure, unfiltered _guilt_ I felt about how I’d behaved in that year was so... hard to accept. It was hard to own. Have you ever tried to _really_ own your fuck-ups? Because it’s not easy. “I... didn’t forget about you.” I whispered to her softly, staring right into those familiar eyes.

Her face fell slightly. She hadn’t expected that. “I... I didn’t forget about you either. I couldn’t. I sent you letters! Did you ever...?” She was blushing. Like admitting that was embarrassing to her. She couldn’t even finish her question all the way.

“Yeah, I got them.”

“Could you just... not write back? Or?” She was scared of the answer, and she was right to be, because all I could do was make shitty excuses.

“I didn’t have time...” That was... true, in a sense.

She nodded slowly. “Ah, yeah, that makes sense... army stuff.” She took a slight step back from me, trying to be subtle. I reached and clasped her hand, running my thumb along the back of it, and I noticed she was wearing the wristband I’d gotten her. Oh. She still wore that. And I still wore her watch. My chest tightened. She smiled slightly again from the contact, “I missed you.”

My heart wrenched. “I... missed you too.”

She raised an eyebrow, chuckling again, but it was hollow. Not one of her real laughs. “Then why’d you--”

“--Hey! Soldier girl!! How does this work?” A voice called out from behind me and I tensed, turning to look. It was that young girl who’d come with Haseul. She couldn’t have been more than fifteen and she’d somehow managed to heft my rifle into her hands.

“Ah! Hey kid-- stop that!” I rushed toward her, letting Jiwoo go. A pink-haired girl in a lab coat beat me there, snatching the gun from the kid’s hands.

The young girl scoffed in offense, “I’ve won like four Victory Royales in Fortnite sooo, I _think_ I know what I’m doing? God, why is everyone here such a buzzkill?” The lab-coat girl took her glasses off, cleaning them nervously from all the antics.

I snagged my rifle from her, setting it firmly on top of a shelf that she couldn’t reach. She was damn short. She pouted, crossing her arms in frustration. When I looked back toward Jiwoo, she was talking to someone else. Oh. That was fine. Our conversation had gotten... tense anway. If she wanted to finish asking whatever she’d planned, which I could already assume would put me on the spot, she could do it later.

I was just happy to have her with me. Even if things weren’t exactly the same, the nostalgia was more than comforting.

**_Jinsol_ **

My eye hurt. I’d gone sort of numb from all the adrenaline and shock, but it still hurt. Having an eye patch was odd. I’d gotten an eye infection once when I was a kid, but that’d been forever ago. I sort of forgot how strange it was to not be able to see from one eye. I felt off kilter, unbalanced. But hey, it was better than losing my eye altogether. This could’ve gone way worse though, and I knew that, I wasn’t dumb. I owed it partially to Jungeun, and partially to Haseul, who I made sure to ask the name of at some point during the whole ordeal.

My eyes lingered on Jungeun. She’d just tugged her rifle from a little kid’s hands and set it up on a shelf, but she seemed tired. I’d noticed her little reunion with her friend, but I’d been putting most of my energy into not passing out so I hadn’t been able to focus. I think her name was Jiwoo? It was definitely the girl she’d been looking for. She seemed nice. Jungeun was considerably more relieved and relaxed now that Jiwoo was there, I could tell from the way she walked, from the way her shoulders were less tense than before, from the way she’d let herself put her gun down instead of clinging to it with white knuckles. I was glad. She deserved to relax.

Once she set down her gun, she took a slow, deep breath and walked over to me. I’d been sitting on the floor. Haseul had found some random guy’s discarded suit jacket and folded it up for me to rest my head against, which I appreciated. I leaned against the side of a desk, cross-legged and wanting nothing more than to doze off. I’d never been more tired in my life, but now that Jungeun was coming over, I felt a small burst of energy return to me.

She sat in front of me, leaning against an adjacent desk, her head tilting as she eyed me. “You look comfy.” Her voice was low and soft. Comforting, somehow. It sort of reminded me of the carefree way Yujin used to talk. My chest felt hollow. I hadn’t forgotten about... what had happened to her. It’d been present in my mind ever since I vaulted out of that window of the dorm building, leaving her body like it was nothing, like _she_ was nothing.

I chuckled lightly, “Uhh, yeah. I guess as comfy as I can get, all things considered.”

She pointed vaguely at my face. “Cool eyepatch.” I rolled my eyes at her, or, I guess, my _eye_. “I’m serious! It makes you look badass.” I had a hard time telling if she was teasing or not. When I stared in her eyes, it seemed like she wasn’t.

I shook my head. “I think it just makes me look like I got my eye fucked up.”

She was adamant. “Nuh-uh! It shows that it _got_ fucked up, but that you came out of it alive! Plus I bet it’ll leave an awesome scar.” She reached to her shoulder, shrugging off her one of the sleeves of her sweater. There was a jagged mark on her smooth skin. “See this? Got it a few years ago, back home. Some sleazy guy wouldn’t leave Jiwoo alone at a bar, so I punched him, and the crazy bastard broke a bottle and sliced at me with it.”

My jaw dropped. “What?! Jesus Christ, did he get arrested?”

  
“Yeah, duh, but I mean, I didn’t come out on top in that story, but this scar still makes me _seem_ more badass. See what I mean?” Her cocky little smile was cute. She wasn’t wrong.

“I mean, I guess. But you’ve got the whole soldier thing going, so you’ve already got an unfair advantage.”

She pulled her sleeve back up, frowning at me. “Sorry if I’m... making a joke of this, or anything. You really did have me worried back there.” She meant that. I could tell.

I wasn’t sure where the sentimentality had come from, and even more confusing, I wasn’t sure why it was mutual now. But it was. I was worried about her, too. I didn’t have much of a reason. She was a soldier who’d admittedly saved my life multiple times over, but besides that, she’d killed my best friend. Did those things balance each other out...? Or did I just, I dunno, like her? She seemed funny. Charming, even if she didn’t mean to be. She was just likeable, and maybe that’s what it boiled down to.

“It’s okay...” Was all I could think to say. But a lot of it wasn’t okay. Her killing Yujin, that... still wasn’t okay, at least to me. I missed her. I hadn’t gotten a chance to say goodbye. If Jungeun had just given me more of a chance, if she’d listened to reason or hesitated, I could’ve said something. Maybe held her close, one last time, and now there was no way I’d ever be able to do that.

Jungeun was intuitive. Surprisingly so. She noticed the way I trailed off, the way my eyes got distant and moved from her. She knew there must’ve been something that was still bothering me, and it wasn’t too hard to infer what it was.

“Hey... about your friend, I really am sorry.” My gaze returned to hers at her tone. It wasn’t dismissive or flippant, or like she was throwing me a bone so I’d stop holding my grudge. It was genuine. Remorseful. “I wasn’t thinking when I... the situation wasn’t ideal. I was stressed, panicky. I shot on instinct. I should’ve waited, should’ve talked to you, given you time with her, but I just... didn’t.” It was hard for her to admit that she’d made a mistake, but she was doing it. For my sake.

I sniffled, already feeling tears lingering at the top of my chest. I didn’t feel like crying. So I swallowed it down. Something left me before I had a chance to keep it in.

“I liked her.” Saying that hurt for some reason. Admitting that. Jungeun’s face fell, her brow furrowing. “Like... more than a friend.” My voice broke. It wasn’t a big deal. Really, it didn’t matter anymore, she was gone. I just... felt like someone should know. I hadn’t been in love. At least I didn’t think so. But damn, did it feel like something had just... _ripped_ my heart in _half_ when that bullet went into Yujin’s skull.

That’d caught her off guard. Put her on the spot. For a few lingering moments, she said nothing. Just stared, as if trying to take that in. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

I ignored the lump in my throat, shrugging, as if it was nothing. That wasn’t true. It hurt. It really, really hurt. “She didn’t either. I... wanted to tell her. I was going to tell her. Some day. But...”

Jungeun scooted closer unexpectedly, away from the desk she’d leaned against, and rested her hand gently on my knee. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. If I’d known, if I could do it over again, I’d never have--”

“--It’s done. It happened,” I couldn’t say it was okay. It wasn’t. We both knew it wasn’t. But it wasn’t necessarily her fault. She’d done what she thought would keep us safe, she didn’t know the conditions. Or what Yujin meant to me.

“I know. Just... I should’ve been more considerate. Normally, I am.” I believed that. She didn’t seem like a bad person. I didn’t ever think she was one. She seemed to be genuinely guilty about all this, and I felt bad, but I couldn’t take that away without lying. I wasn’t gonna lie.

She leaned back against her desk. “You should rest. You’ve been through a hell of a lot today.” She told me gently.

I wanted to. But I felt like I couldn’t just yet. “Jungeun... I’m not mad at you about Yujin. I hope you know that.”

She smiled. A nice, warm smile that made my chest feel light somehow. “I do now.”

**_Yerim_ **

Talking with Haseul had helped. I felt... better, more like myself. I could focus more on things that used to take priority for me: making sure people were happy, looking on the bright side, finding the good things in all the bad. It was harder to do that now than it’d ever been, because of everything that was going on, but it wasn’t impossible.

I wiped away whatever was left of my lingering tears, taking a deep breath to steady myself and look around the room. Chaewon was sitting at Hyejoo’s side, holding her hand loosely, but from what I could tell the two hadn’t spoken. They both seemed tired. I eyed Hyejoo. I was so glad she was okay, glad I’d managed to convince Haseul to turn around and pick her up even in all that absolute chaos. Hyejoo was probably scared and confused, surrounded by unfamiliar faces in an unfamiliar place. Maybe she’d be happy to see me? If she even remembered who I was. Either way, it wouldn’t hurt to say hello at the very least.

I walked up to the two, kneeling in front of them with a smile. Chaewon returned it, but when she saw the way I was looking at Hyejoo I guess she thought she was interfering. She nodded at me and stood, walking off to sit somewhere else. She didn’t have to do that, but I didn’t stop her. Hyejoo’s loose clasp on her hand remained until she was out of reach, seeming a bit unsettled without Chaewon right next to her.

“Hi!” I toned down my usual enthusiasm so I wouldn’t overwhelm her. Although she was awake, she was still out of it, and I couldn’t blame her. She probably had a near concussion, if not a full one, and I noticed the small scrapes still on her cheek.

She raised an arched eyebrow at me. “Hi...? Do I know you?” She squinted at me, doing her best to remember. I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t. I was good with people, I never forgot a face, but anyone else probably wouldn’t have recalled the random girl who’d sat with them in a class so long ago.

I nodded. “I’m Yerim. It’s okay if you don’t remember. We had biology together. Ring any bells?”

A flash of recognition showed behind her eyes and I grinned. Good! Then I’d left some sort of impression on her, at the very least. “Oh. I remember you.” She glanced away from my eyes, her voice getting small and timid. “You were nice to me.” She said that like it was an oddity. Like me being nice stood out so much it stuck out in her memory. I frowned at her.

“Of course!” I wondered if I should dare say what I did next. I’d heard some rumors about Hyejoo: that she was a troublemaker, that she got into fights, I’d even heard once that she brought a knife to school, but I wasn’t sure if that was true or not. Either way, I highly doubted she’d beat me up right now in the state she was in. “You looked like you needed a friend.” I muttered it. I didn’t want to sound rude.

A slight, almost nonexistent blush came to her cheeks, and she went quiet for a while. I didn’t say anything else, not wanting to overstep my bounds further than I already might’ve. She seemed conflicted. I wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was sad for her to admit that she didn’t really have friends. That’d be a sensitive subject for anyone.

Finally, she sighed. “Yeah. I... don’t think I was, but... if I was ever mean to you, I’m sorry.” She told me in a soft, impossibly gentle and soothing low voice. I liked her voice. Now that I thought about it, I’d barely heard it, if ever.

“You weren’t.” I was quick to reassure her. She hadn’t been particularly nice, either. She’d just sort of been there, quiet, reserved and independent. She was mysterious, and deep down I think I’d always wanted to get to know her, but I’d felt like she wouldn’t have let me. In these circumstances though, maybe she would.

She seemed relieved at the confirmation. “I’m surprised _you_ remember _me_.”

I scooted closer. “You made a mark! What can I say? I should’ve tried to talk to you some more.” I regretted not trying harder. Being insistent, but politely so. Maybe I could’ve helped her. Added even the slightest ray of brightness to her life.

She shrugged weakly. “I might not’ve been too receptive.”

“How come?”

“I... I didn’t talk to many people. I... just assumed nobody wanted to. Most people didn’t.” She told me quietly. That sounded like more of a confession than an explanation.

That was... sad. Hyejoo had always seemed sad to me. Sometimes, I found myself drawn to sad people. I wanted to help them, I wanted to make them feel better, cheer them up, try to have my optimism rub off because they needed it more than me. I felt the same way then. Part of me wanted to just reach closer and hold her hand, but I felt like that might be too much. It might scare her away, and I didn’t want to do that. I just wanted her to know that I was there for her, that even if she didn’t think so, I _did_ want to talk to her. I’d always wanted to. I thought she was inherently interesting and I saw that there was something inside her that was nice, sweet, and sincere. She kept it back, though. And I didn’t understand why you’d hide something like that.

“Well... I hope you’ll talk with me now.” I told her, smiling at her when she looked back at my face again. “I think I’ll like talking to you, Hyejoo.” She flinched slightly when I said her name aloud. “I’m glad you’re here.” She seemed confused about that. She also seemed tired, and like she needed rest, which I planned to give her. I just wanted to introduce myself, and let her know that she had another friend here besides Chaewon.

I reached closer, extending my hand to her, and she shook it with the slightest trace of a smile. She had a nice smile. Hopefully, I’d be able to make it show up more often.

**_Sooyoung_ **

I sat on the edge of a desk by the window, as far as I could get from the rest of them. I didn’t know them. I didn’t need to know them. Everyone was dying, what was the point of getting to know anyone? Just so it’d hurt to lose them? My eyes had burned ever since we’d gotten into this damned room and had a chance to “relax.” As if. How the fuck was I supposed to “relax” when I could stare right out this window, down at the bustling street full of chaos and screaming and bloodshed and death? We were barely separated from it. We’d barely escaped that, and the next morning we’d have to dive right back in. My arms were crossed and I held myself loosely, wishing I’d just stop fucking shaking. I had to get it together.

“Hey...” A gentle hand suddenly slid around my waist from behind and I nearly flinched, but kept the reaction back. It was Jiwoo. I recognized her voice by now. The intimate contact did catch me a bit off guard, but I wasn’t protesting.

“Hi.” I mumbled, unable to draw my eyes away from the chaos on the streets. It was surreal to watch from afar. To know that it couldn’t get you, but to still see it.

“I saw you over here...” She muttered, matching my low volume as if sensing that I didn’t want to be overheard. She was right. These people didn’t seem bad or anything. I mean hell, one of them was fucking _Kim Hyunjin_. But besides that, I... didn’t want to get attached. I shouldn’t get attached.

I glanced at Jiwoo. At her sparkling eyes, at my coat that she still wore. She’d taken her guitar from her back, and finally set it down somewhere. I looked at her wrist, at the shred of my coat that was still loosely tied around it. And... goddamn it, I was attached to her. At least a little. I hadn’t meant for this. But the protectiveness I’d felt when I’d come back into the alley and saw that fucking _pig_ pinning her to that wall, I thought I was gonna _explode_. I’d never felt something like that. Something so raw and visceral besides just pure anger. I was angry, yeah, but I’d also been scared. Scared that he’d hurt her, that he’d touched her, that he’d even so much as scared her. I didn’t want that to happen. Ever. And... I wasn’t sure how to react to that feeling.

I didn’t answer her. I wasn’t sure what she wanted me to say to that, so I just stared back out the window. Her hand that was still resting on the small of my back moved to wrap more around my waist, tilting her head closer so she could whisper something to me. “I... don’t think you should be looking out there.”

I shrugged. “Why?”

She pursed her lips. “Um... it’s bad? We already had to stare at it enough tonight. Why not look at other things?” She asked me gently, innocently, not pushing, really just asking. “Look at me! I’m here.” Her voice was bright and airy. I wondered how the hell she could still sound like that, after everything we’d gone through that night. Who was I kidding, I knew how: she hadn’t lost anyone yet. Or if she had, she didn’t know. She hadn’t seen.

I did look at her. I turned away from that window, and I looked at her. She was really easy to look at. “Yeah. You are here...” She smiled her big, wide smile. I liked that smile. She blinked a few times, though, and she seemed to remember something. I didn’t have long to wonder what it was.

“Um... you don’t have to talk about it, if I’m uh, if... if you don’t want, but...” I raised an eyebrow at her hesitance. “Inhye?”

My chest tightened. I didn’t want to talk about it. She was right about that. “What’s to talk about? She’s dead.” I tried to be matter-of-fact. Blunt, taciturn, like usual. She didn’t need the details. But... it was more than that. It was... finding Inhye in her apartment I’d left a few hours before, walking through the aftermath of what must’ve been a fight to her last breath, only to find her twisted and distorted into one of those _things_. All her beauty, all her nuances and quirks that I’d known so well - like her laugh and her smile and her dimples - those were gone. She was nothing, and I’d killed what was left so I wouldn’t have to look at the monster who wore her face anymore.

Jiwoo frowned at my harsh words. “I... okay.”

I didn’t mean to shut her down or be rude, it just... wasn’t up for discussion. Not yet. It’d only just happened. I’d barely processed it myself. “She... she was just a hookup. We were in the neighborhood so I wanted to check on her. It wouldn’t hurt to have someone else we actually knew on our side. That’s all.” That was sort of true. Almost. As truthful as I was willing to be. “Thank you for asking.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I was... I dunno, I guess I was worried.” She seemed shy to admit that. Damn was she adorable when she was shy.

“Worried? What, about me?” I asked her, making my voice gentle and charming again.

That blush came back again, but she nodded. “I’m sorry she died. Even if you say you weren’t close, it... I’ve never lost anyone before. It must be hard.”

I wished I could make sure she’d never lose anyone. I didn’t want her to have to deal with this damned _grief_ and _pain_. I wasn’t sure how to respond. All I could think to tell her was a soft, quiet, “It’s not your fault.”

I reached to clasp her hand, and I lifted it up, pulling my makeshift coat bandage from it to see her wound, those scratch marks. My shitty treatment of it had helped, the bleeding stopped. I moved to drop the piece of fabric to the floor, but her nearly frantic words stopped me. “What’re you doing?”

I looked up at her, confused. “It’s not clean. You should ask nurse lady for a real bandaid or something. Don’t want it getting infected, okay?” I rubbed a gentle circle along the back of her hand, thinking that’d be enough to get her to walk off. My eyes still burned. I wasn’t gonna cry, but... I sort of just wanted to be alone.

Instead of leaving, though, she reached to my hand and tugged the strip of fabric from my loose grasp, reaching to instead tie it around her other wrist - the one without the scratches. Now it was alongside some red little bracelet I hadn’t noticed before. I was confused. Why’d she want that bloody rag? She seemed to read my mind, the question must’ve been written all over my face. “I-I... I dunno, I like the pattern.” The blush on her cheeks got more intense. That wasn’t why. I knew that wasn’t why. She was so precious.

I reached up and gently traced my hand along her cheek, spotting a small scrape right on the cheekbone. “Get a bandaid for that, too. Can’t be too careful...” Her face had been incredibly warm.

She nodded, taking a step back. “Okay. Um... promise me you won’t look out the window? Please?”

“Fine.” She smirked slightly before walking off. I kept my promise. Instead, I just leaned against the wall and sank to the floor, the weight of everything that’d happened that day pushing down on my shoulders. Sleep tugged at me eyelids, and I let it.

I had a creeping feeling the next day would be worse somehow.

**_Jiwoo_ **

Haseul was moving slow as she counted the supplies for what must’ve been the dozenth time, all of her motions weighted with what must’ve been sheer exhaustion. I didn’t know what she’d been through that day, but it was pretty safe to assume that every single person in that room had been through hell and back these last few hours. She wouldn’t be an exception. I’d only just met her and she somehow managed to stitch up that poor girl’s eye in the back seat of a moving van, so I was still in a bit of awe.

I walked to her carefully, making my steps audible enough so as not to startle her. “Hi, Haseul!”

She glanced at me over her shoulder, counting how many pills were in a bottle really quick before she turned back around to face me with a tired smile. “Hey, Jiwoo - right?”

I nodded. We’d only briefly exchanged names, and she’d still been coming out of a state of pure adrenaline and stress when that’d happened. She’d relaxed a bit now. Her hands still shook ever so slightly, though. “Uh, Sooyoung told me I should get this patched up a bit better.” I extended my wrist to her, and as soon as she spotted the wound, she’d already gently clasped my hand with a quick, calculated precision that reminded me of all the times I’d had to go to the doctor. She definitely had a more comforting presence than any of the doctors I’d had, though. I was sort of scared of hospitals, but I had a feeling if she’d ever been my nurse, my minor phobia would’ve gone away.

“Ouch.” She muttered playfully after her brief examination, reaching behind her and putting something that looked like alcohol onto a small swab.

I smiled at her, appreciating and craving the levity. “It hurt.”

“I bet...” She hovered the swab above my scratched skin, not making contact yet. “This might sting a bit, okay?” She didn’t wait any longer before pressing the cotton material down, and yeah, it did sting. I just winced lightly, vaguely hearing her mutter a soft, unnecessary apology. She pulled a bandaid from a box, and I smiled again at the little pattern on it. It was bright blue, with little strawberries printed all over. “Sorry about these, they were all the pharmacy had left...”

“I’m glad! It’s so cute!” I told her brightly. “I love strawberries.”

  
She chuckled weakly. “Well, I’m glad I didn’t grab the pineapple one, then.”

‘I love pineapples too!” I reassured her.

Her eyes flitted back to me once she’d stuck the bandaid firmly enough to my skin. “You’re awfully chipper...” I noticed the way her gaze wandered the room around us, before fixing on a particular object which she pointed at. “That’s your guitar, right?”

She’d released her grip on my now clean wrist, and I quickly moved to grab my guitar, unzipping the bag and tugging the intensely sentimental instrument from inside. I felt comforted with the familiar weight of it in my hands. I always felt better when I held it, more in my element. I walked back toward Haseul, sitting on a desk across from her and propping the guitar on my lap.

Haseul seemed thoroughly interested, raising an eyebrow at me. “Are you any good?”

I couldn’t help but scoff slightly at the question, moving my fingers to the strings and starting to strum a gentle, soft melody I’d been working on perfecting in my free time. The sound echoed through the room, music filling the tense, uneasy air and drawing everyone’s gaze to me in an instant. Even Sooyoung, who’d nearly fallen asleep, opened her eyes and stared. I wasn’t sure why everyone was so surprised, I mean, they’d all seen the guitar on my back while we’d rushed around. Did they think I couldn’t play it? Or maybe they just assumed I wouldn’t. Of course I would! What better time was there than in this awful, stressful, nerve wracking ordeal to just sit and enjoy some music if you had the chance?

A younger girl who’d been the one to draw Jungeun away earlier rushed over, sitting on the floor cross-legged in front of me as I continued to strum the right chords I’d written. Her jaw had dropped and she stared up at me with wide eyes. Surprisingly she didn’t say anything. Even from the brief time I’d been around her, she seemed to always have something to say. Jungeun looked at me with a warm smile, used to my random bouts of musicality. Another young girl in a girl scout uniform came over too, the rest of the room seeming content to just watch from where they were, but I had everyone’s attention. Maybe this would help them relax.

Haseul’s eyes sparkled. “You _are_ good. You’re really talented.” Although I’d heard that before, usually flippantly from music instructors or professors who wanted me to leave them alone, when it came from her? I damn near blushed. The compliment was so impossibly heartfelt. “You better be doing that for a living.”

I giggled slightly. “Well uh, I’m trying to! It’s what I’m going to school for.”

“Good. I can tell you’re passionate about it, and you shouldn’t waste that.” That advice wasn’t a hollow comfort or a rehearsed line like it normally tended to sound. She meant it. I smiled at her, a big, wide, genuine smile. She was right, I was passionate about this. More passionate than I’d ever been about anything, but it never hurt to have your dreams validated by someone else. Especially when some people who heard I wanted to become a singer would just roll their eyes and passive-aggressively “wish me luck,” clearly not believing for even a second that I’d get anywhere in the industry.

“I can tell you care about nursing, too.” I told her, finishing the melody but just deciding to start it over again. It wasn’t like I was gonna stop, not with these two smiling girls staring up at me like I was a live show. “You’re good at it! You made me feel really cared for, just now.” I looked toward the new bandaid on my wrist.

She chuckled, moving to hoist herself atop the desk at her back. “Thanks, that’s good to hear. I’d like to think it’s my ‘calling,’ or whatever.” I could tell from the way her words got more drawn out and the way her eyelids got heavier that she was dozing off.

I kept on playing. Leaning slightly forward and whispering to her gently, “Get some rest.” It was like as soon as I’d told her that, she was out like a light. The only way she responded to me was the slightest semblance of a nod, before she leaned back against the wall and was _out_.

I kept playing until the two girls in front of me fell asleep, too, semi-entangled with one another. If my guitar helped these stressed, panicked, struggling people be at ease even for a few brief moments, then yeah, I’d definitely picked the right career path.

**_Hyejoo_ **

The comforting sound of one of the unnamed girls strumming away at a guitar was making me doze off, but I didn’t want to sleep. After being knocked out like I had been, part of me wanted to stay awake for as long as I could. Chaewon had come back to me after Yerim had left, and as soon as she was in reach, I clung to her hand. I still felt myself trembling slightly, just trying to get my bearings. It was hard to focus on anything, and I was still overwhelmed by all these new faces, but having Chae with me kept me grounded.

She hadn’t spoken much. I wasn’t sure why, but I wasn’t complaining, taking the time and the silence to work on sorting out my own thoughts. Eventually, though, I felt her brush a very gentle finger along the back of my hand, and I looked at her. “I’m glad you’re awake... you had me really worried.” Her eyes were red around the rims.

I smiled slightly. My memory was actually sort of foggy, but I think I remembered what happened. “We... crashed, right?”

She nodded, scooting closer to me and tightening her grip on my hand. “Yeah. Uh... the nurse said that wearing the helmet saved my life.” Her soft voice was halting and slow.

My eyes widened. “Oh.”

She sniffled a bit, staring deeply into my eyes in a way that made my chest flutter. “So _you_... sort of saved my life.”

She’d saved mine more than once. Although I definitely hadn’t known that refusing the helmet would’ve saved her, I’d never been more happy with a choice I’d made. Thank _god_. I edged closer, almost wanting to hug her, hating to even think that such a small interaction was the one thing that kept her skull from splitting open on pavement. “Guess we’re even then, huh?”

She laughed lightly, nervously almost, and looked away. I didn’t like how glossy her eyes were. It was okay. We both got here okay, somehow, and even though I didn’t know these people, I could tell they were nice. They were good hearted and they’d keep us safe, more importantly keep _her_ safe. So why was she still so close to tears?

She took an audible breath, reaching behind her and pulling what I recognized as our two backpacks from her apartment to rest in between us. “I wanna show you something.” She unzipped them both and started to root around inside. Mine was littered with scrapes and stains from when I’d been thrown from the scooter.

She pulled out a few rocks, one by one, setting them on the carpet in a neat little line. They were the same ones from her windowsill. Before I had the chance to look really close at all the little paintings on them, she started to speak in her low, soft voice, having my utmost attention effortlessly.

“This,” She pointed to a rock with a beautifully intricate rose painted on its surface. It had pretty vines and leaves and thorns that trailed along its edges and presumably continued along the bottom, “Is Rose. One day I saw these... _beautiful_ roses at a park near my work, but I didn’t want to pick them because they looked so nice where they were, so I found Rose right next to them and painted her when I got home.” Her voice had faded, getting smaller and more wistful as she went. I scooted closer, to hear her better as she continued.

“This,” She gently tapped a small, round, pale rock with bunny ears drawn on it. The front of it had a nose too, with little whiskers and buck teeth, “Is Hop. I-I went to a pet shop one day, to see if I could get a bunny, but I didn’t have enough money. So, I found this little guy in the parking lot instead.” My chest tightened from that story, from the way her eyes got distant.

She cleared her throat, as if to steady her voice. “This,” A rock vaguely shaped like a crude heart was the next story. It looked scorched, and it was strangely void of designs besides a cartoonish bandaid painted over one of the burn marks. “This is Pyre, I found her by a burned down house on the outskirts of the city. She was all burnt and scorched, but I still thought she was pretty, and I didn’t want to leave her there by herself.”

The last rock she’d pulled out was dark, but it’d been painted that way, along with various little stars dotting its surface. She held it loosely in her palm, before reaching closer and placing it mine. I felt weirdly privileged to get to hold it. They all clearly meant so much to her. “That’s Twinkle. I picked her up as a sort of memento for this time I stargazed with uh... a girl from work. I thought... I guess I thought she liked me, but that turned out to be nothing. Either way, I kept Twinkle with me because that night was beautiful from all those stars.” Her voice was distant that time. I turned the rock over in my hand, noting that it was painted like a night sky on all sides. The bottom had a shooting star.

She took my silence as a bad sign, and she spoke up again quickly. “I-I have more, they all have stories but...” She picked up the ones she laid out, putting them back into the bag and reaching to gently tug Twinkle from my hand. I let her. “I guess it’s not the time huh?”

I made sure to meet her eyes, wanting her to believe my next words. “I like your rocks.”

Her cheeks lit with a slight blush. “I... me too. Thanks for not teasing.”

I tilted my head at her. “Why would I?”

She shrugged, but she wasn’t indifferent about this. I could tell, and her next words only supported that. “People always make fun of me. It’s... it’s what I’m used to.” A protectiveness gripped tightly at my chest. Damn. If I’d seen that, I would’ve intervened. I would’ve done something to stop it, but...

“How come I never saw you at school? Did you go somewhere else?”

She wouldn’t meet my eyes anymore, staring down intently at the carpet. “No, I... I went there.”

Then why couldn’t I remember seeing her? She didn’t seem that much older than me. “Did you graduate or something...?”

“I dropped out. Last year.”

I hadn’t expected that, for some reason, but I did my best to hide my surprise from my face. She looked embarrassed. She shouldn’t be, it wasn’t embarrassing. “Oh... how come?” That question was personal, but it slipped out before I realized it might not be okay to ask.

She barely hesitated in answering. “I couldn’t do it... Everyone was too mean. Dad wouldn’t let me switch, and when I stopped going to class, he just got mad. So... I got a job and saved for my own apartment I can still barely afford.” The glossiness to her eyes only got more intense, but no real tears left her. My grip on her hand tightened on instinct. I wasn’t sure what to say, so I kept quiet. I related to her more than she probably thought I could, but I didn’t talk about that stuff. Not with anyone. She suddenly drew her hand away from mine. “Sorry. You didn’t ask for my life story. I--”

I clasped her hand again, firmly, and she finally met my eyes. “--They pick on me too. They’re fucking brutal.”

Her brow crinkled. “I’m sorry.” For once, that apology seemed genuine, because I knew it was coming from a place of real empathy. Not pity.

“It’s okay. I showed them they couldn’t, I talked back, got into fights. It got me into trouble. People think I’m a mean girl, or even a bully, but I’m not. I just defend myself from assholes...” I trailed off, not at all having expected saying all that. I... felt comfortable talking with her. Which was a new feeling for me.

One of her eyebrows raised at what I’d said. “I... can’t picture you getting into fights.”   
  


I laughed, but it was hollow and empty. “Yeah, uh... you’ve probably seen more of how I _actually_ am than anyone in my entire school, just in the last few hours.” That was true. With all this chaos and turmoil, I couldn’t keep up my ruse of toughness and standoffishness, it was too hard. So she got to see the real me, the scared, weak, fragile me that I didn’t normally let show through.

She smiled at me warmly. “Wow, I’m honored.”

I rolled my eyes, reaching forward to playfully push her shoulder. “Shut up...” She squeezed my hand firmly, her smile fading slightly.

“I’m serious.” Her voice was dead set, not even a trace of sarcasm left in it. Oh. I felt warmth creeping up my neck and into my cheeks. She sighed lightly, “We should get some rest... I’ll go see if I can find something we can use as a blanket.” She stood up, and when her hand left mine, I felt noticeably colder.

I knew she’d come back, though. And knowing that, knowing she was there, and that she’d stay with me, it made me feel like things might turn out okay somehow.


	14. Don't Cry

_Meanwhile, in a dorm room on the other side of the city..._

**_Heejin_ **

The splint Jinseok and Nayoung had managed to make for my foot helped me to limp at a fairly quick pace on my own. Stairs weren’t great, though, so Jinseok took it upon himself to hoist me over his shoulder again as he jogged steadily up the steps of my dorm building. The lobby was in shambles, the main desk knocked over, posters I used to look at for odd jobs ripped down and scattering the floor, blood splattered nearly everywhere. It was jarring to see a place I was so used to look so torn apart. I used to wait in the lobby for Hyunjin nervously whenever we had a date, because my roommate was annoying and didn’t want me to bring anyone up. Now it was nearly destroyed.

“Ugh, I don’t like being here.” Nayoung muttered softly as she led the way with her axe.

“How come?” Jinseok spoke up, still totally unfazed by needing to carry my weight.

“Brings back bad memories.” I watched as she hefted the weight of that fire axe casually from one hand to another. “I went here for a year or two, believe it or not.” She spoke with clear distaste. She definitely seemed more comfortable as a firefighter. In fact, I could barely picture her doing much of anything else.

Jinseok scoffed, “You? A college girl? I can’t picture it.” I could feel the way his chest shook from his deep, booming voice. Nayoung didn’t feel the need to address the comment.

We reached the landing of the floor I’d told them, and he set me down. I staggered slightly, still getting used to the way I had to balance on my splint. “This way!” I couldn’t help how rushed my voice sounded, absolutely terrified that Hyunjin wouldn’t be there. I didn’t know what I’d do if she wasn’t. What _could_ I do? Wait for her? Look somewhere else? Try to retrace her steps? None of those sounded safe. But I needed to find Hyunjin. I _needed_ to. I didn’t care about anything else. I’d fight my way barehanded through a mob of those monsters if it just meant I’d see her again.

I rushed down the hall as fast as my feet would carry me, noticing as I tried to push the door open that the wood had been ripped straight through the center. Oh no. Only those monsters would’ve done that. That meant they’d gotten in. I had to clumsily vault over a couch used as a makeshift barricade, the tightness in my chest getting so intense it started to hurt, but I didn’t even care. I had to see.

The lounge was trashed too. The big windows I used to stare out had been shattered open, glass scattering the hardwood floors. There was blood on the walls, and a few corpses, but they were all from those things. Thank god. The door to my room was open too. I rushed there as fast as I could, my leg nearly giving out because my panic made me put more weight on my bad foot than I should’ve. _Please please please_ ** _please_** _._

I rounded the corner, heart beating out of my chest, praying to anything and everything that the world would cut me a break for _once_ and I’d see Hyunjin there, waiting for me, safe and healthy and unhurt. But there was nothing. It was just my room, empty. I almost fell to my knees, the disappointment and fear about to eat me alive. Instead I just leaned against my door frame as Nayoung and Jinseok caught up.

“Don’t go ahead like that, Heejin, you have to be more careful.” Nayoung told me gently, resting her hand against my arm as she peered over my shoulder into my room. “Is this where she said she’d meet you?” She stepped inside before I did, looking around at everything. I was overcome with a painful nostalgia, remembering all the times I’d snuck Hyunjin up here when my roommate was away, just for a few quick moments alone together. Nayoung didn’t have that nostalgia, so she started to investigate before I worked through all my thoughts. “Someone’s been here. Not an infected, or some random looter. Look, only your clothes got taken.” She pointed to the half-open drawers on my dresser.

I rushed forward, kneeling down in front of the drawers. Was this Hyunjin? Had she been the one to take my clothes? What for? A bunch of my sweaters were missing. Some blouses. Most of my clothes, actually, but one thing in particular was left. A necklace. One that she’d given me. It was a pendant of the moon, she’d gotten it for me after our third date, when I’d pointed out that I liked crescent moons more than full ones and we had a full debate over which was prettier. She’d given me a crescent moon pendant and I’d saved up my tips so I could buy her a matching a full moon one. She’d left mine here. It was probably worth some money, anyone else would’ve taken it, but she’d left it. On purpose, I was sure.

I picked it up, wrapping it frantically around my neck. “She-- she was here.” I got to my feet, looking around frantically. “She was here, but where’d she go...?” I limped back to the lounge. Why had she taken my clothes? The door had been barricaded. Had she done that? If she had, the only way out would’ve been... the window. Oh. I rushed to the edge, looking down, and spotted a makeshift rope of clothes that had fallen to the ground below. She’d gone out the window. There were infected bodies there too, and blood.

“Outside. She went outside!!” I started to hobble back to the door, but Jinseok’s massive frame stood in my way.

“No stairs for you, little Miss sprained ankle!” Before I knew it I’d been lifted off my feet again and flashed a big, dopey smile. He tossed me over his shoulder, vaulting over the couch into the hall and down the steps again. Nayoung kept up with us easily.

I was so frustrated. So upset I couldn’t get out there on my own, that I couldn’t take those steps three at a time and burst out those front doors, running all over the city for her. This was my problem, and now these two were in danger because of me.

He was downstairs in an instant, out the doors and in that courtyard. He set me down onto the grass, and I looked all over, everywhere all at once as I held my breath. Nothing. I didn’t see anything. No infected, and no signs of her. No. No no no. Where had she gone?? We were supposed to meet there. She’d made it there, despite everything, but then she’d left? She’d only have done that if she’d absolutely had to - if she was in danger. But if she’d been in danger, where would she go?

“ _HYUNJIN?!_ ” I just couldn’t keep the name from tearing straight from my throat, echoing around the strangely empty courtyard and reverberating off the buildings.

Nayoung grabbed my wrist roughly. “Shh! Don’t yell like that. You’ll draw them in.” She looked around warily, gripping her axe with white knuckles.

She was right, but yelling like that hadn’t been for nothing. Maybe Hyunjin hadn’t gotten far. Maybe she’d just had to leave the dorm building to go somewhere else? That was all I could hope for. It was all I had. I shut up and listened closely. For something, for anything, for her to have heard her name and responded to it.

Something came from a nearby building. A noise. It was the library. Maybe that’s where she’d gone. Please, please, _please_. I was losing it. - seconds away from breaking down irreparably, I didn’t know what to do. She was supposed to be here, and she wasn’t. I ran forward, hurting my foot but not caring in the slightest. Nayoung and Jinseok were at my back, muttering small words to try and dissuade me, calm me down, but it was all just white noise. I needed to get to the library. I needed to see if she was there, if that was her.

Panic controlling my every move and thought, I burst through those double doors and tripped over my own two feet, stumbling. I would’ve fallen straight to the floor, but Nayoung caught me by the shoulders.

“Can you run?” She whispered harshly into my ear.

“What?” I whimpered, tears stinging my eyes from the pain and the fear and the panic.

“We need to run.” She was already pulling me to my feet by the time she finished her sentence. As soon as I got a good look around the room, I saw why. There were tons of the monsters. A group, all collected near the back door, but they’d heard us. They’d heard me.

The next second, Jinseok had grabbed both Nayoung and I by our backs and was pushing us into a room at our side. Those things had run at us full speed and had already almost closed the space. Jinseok shoved us ahead of him, but one of those monsters got a hold on him. I fell hard to the floor in a heap, losing my balance from the sudden redirection. Nayoung turned around to help. She cut a few of the monsters away, Jinseok grunting in what I couldn’t tell was pain or exertion as he tried to keep them away with just his hands. 

“Get _in_ here!!” Nayoung wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, pulling his massive frame through the doorway and out of a monster’s grips. He clasped the handle of the door as he went through it, slamming it shut behind him. It was metal and sturdy. It’d hold.

But we weren’t safe, even in here. A man in a suit rushed forward, having been shrouded by shadows in the corner and wielding a heavy book. He brought it down hard against Jinseok’s head. Jinseok barely even flinched from the impact, but Nayoung spun around fast, shoving the man to the floor and raising her axe’s blade right in front of his neck.

Jinseok grabbed the handle of Nayoung’s axe, moving it away. “Nayoung, it’s fine! That didn’t even hurt!” His big smile was barely enough to convince her, but after a few tense, lingering seconds, she took a step back and withdrew her axe from its chopping position. She still glared at the man intensely, more than ready to slice him to pieces if he so much as made one more wrong move.

“Who the _fuck_ are you?” Nayoung asked through clenched teeth.

**_Lee Hoseok_ **

The man took a deep breath. Sweat dotted his brow and created dark a slight stain at the collar of the dress shirt beneath his suit jacket. “H-Hoseok. Lee Hoseok.”

Jinseok extended his hand down to Hoseok, that same dopey smile not having left his face for even a second. Blood had splattered his cheek from when Nayoung had axed one of the things away, but even that didn’t make him look grim. Hoseok hesitated only slightly before taking that hand with a trace of a sneer. He was pulled to his feet, and he brushed off his suit as if it were dusty, when in truth there wasn’t a spot on it. I wasn’t sure how he’d managed that. The rest of us had blood on our clothes, or dirt, or rips.

“I’m Jinseok! This is Nayoung, and that’s Heejin.” Jinseok made sure to conduct introductions on our behalf. He tried to shake the hand that he still clasped, but Hoseok tugged it from his grip harshly before he had the chance.

Nayoung had stepped away by that point, looking around the room diligently. “Damn. There’s no way out of here.” When she came up to me and helped me to my feet, I investigated too. She was right. There were no other doors, no windows. Nope, the only way out was from the way we’d come, and right then there were several infected pounding away at that door with their fists.

“Yeah, no shit. You don’t think I checked?” Hoseok spat out, crossing his arms. A scowl remained on his features that wouldn’t seem to fade no matter what. Oh. He must’ve been trapped in here too before we’d shown up.

Nayoung spun toward him, walking up and getting in his face. “You can relax with that fucking attitude is what you can do.” The already dense air only got heavier.

I hobbled closer, having hurt my foot a bit from my fumble into the library, and gently clasped Nayoung’s hand to pull her away. She was much stronger than me and definitely could’ve held her ground despite my weak tugging, but she didn’t. She stepped back, and I spoke as calmly as I possibly could. It wouldn’t do well for any of us to panic right now. We needed to have clear heads.

“Hey, let’s... c’mon, we can be civil.” I tried to sound assertive. In all honesty though, I had no way to provide any real influence. Unless I could come up with some sort of idea, I was useless. And I didn’t like being dead weight, not if I could help it. I checked around the room, at the desk, at the shelves, at the walls even. “They’re drawn to sound. And they can’t see in the dark. If we could somehow like... make a noise out there, they’d go to it, and we could make a break for the door.”

Nayoung nodded, subduing the anger I could still tell she felt just for my sake. “Yeah, great, but how?”

“Um...” That was a good question that I didn’t have an answer to. I hobbled toward the desk, and felt my heart skip a beat when I spotted a phone. “Ah!” I picked it up quickly, listening for a dial tone, for something, anything, but didn’t hear one. The lines were dead. Right, I’d forgotten. “Shit...”

Jinseok came over, patting my shoulder just a bit harder than necessary. “It was a good idea though!”

I wracked my brain for something else we could do, anything else, thinking back on things I’d learned about how those monsters worked. Something in particular kept coming back to mind. “Maybe we could uh... hide?”

Hoseok scoffed under his breath. “Brilliant idea.”

I felt like glaring at him too, but I swallowed down the urge. I guess without explanation the idea did seem kind of stupid. He didn’t have to be so rude about it, though “No, I mean... if we open the door, but none of them see us, maybe they’ll leave?”

Nayoung seemed skeptical too, but her tone was far less passive-aggressive. “That’s a big maybe, Heejin.”

“I know, but I don’t think they’re that smart.” The certainty to my voice caught everyone’s attention. “Like, earlier, I threw a blanket on one and it didn’t know what was going on. It couldn’t find me. So...”

The room went quiet. Everyone was thinking, weighing the pros and cons, considering the risks carefully. It wasn’t something to do lightly. It’d be dangerous, of course. I wasn’t totally certain it would work, but...

“I mean... do we really have another choice?” Jinseok took the words right from my mouth. He was right. What else could we possibly do?

My mind had already been thinking out the rest of the plan. It wasn’t that big of a room, and there were limited places to hide, but if these things were as dumb as I thought, they weren’t gonna conduct a thorough search. Hopefully. “So... if someone opens the door, then hides between it and the wall, and the rest of us hide in the room, they shouldn’t be able to find us.”

“In theory.” Hoseok pointed out with an eye roll.

I finally did glare at him, his bad attitude starting to grate on my nerves. “Yeah, in theory, but do you have any better ideas?”

He shut right up. Clearly he didn’t, since he’d been trapped in that room for even longer than us. We were trying to help him. I guess we hadn’t said it aloud, but it wasn’t like we were gonna leave him here by himself. When we got out, he did too. So I guessed he was sort of part of our team now. If he didn’t want to be, that’d be up for discussion once we got out of there.

Hoseok cleared his throat slightly before speaking up again. “Okay, so we’ll hide. But someone has to open the door, and it sure as hell isn’t gonna be me.” He took a step away from it to emphasize his point. Oh. Right. Door opener was the riskiest role here, probably.

Instead of a silence that I sort of expected, Jinseok raised his big hand in the air. “I’ll do it!”

I nodded slowly, taking note of his eagerness. I doubted any of the rest of us would share that sentiment.

Nayoung stepped closer to Jinseok for a second, extending her axe. “Take this. You might need it.”

He waved her away dismissively, “Nah! They won’t see me, I’ll be stealthy. Like a ninja.” He was already heading to the door. When he stood in front of it I realized that the width of his torso almost encompassed the whole thing. I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Nayoung groaned in mild frustration. “You moron, you’re a big clumsy boulder.” She shoved the axe toward him again, trying to be insistent, but he clasped the handle and pushed it back toward her.

“You hold it, Nayoung-ah. What if you need it?” His voice was low and soft.

Her face fell slightly. “It’s not me I’m worried about, dummy...” She spoke so quietly I almost couldn’t hear over those monsters’ audible snarls and fists banging against the door.

He just shrugged his massive shoulders, gently pushing her away. She didn’t protest any further but I could see the confliction behind her eyes.

Jinseok gripped the door’s handle firmly and looked back at all of us with a raised eyebrow and a winning smile. “Alright everyone, find good hiding spots!” He bounced slightly on his feet. “This is the highest stakes game of hide and seek _I’ve_ ever played, dunno about the rest of you.” I couldn’t help but smile back at him.

There was a trash can about up to my waist over in the corner, and I rushed to it, taking off the lid. It was only about half full. I could probably fit. With a deep breath, I stepped into it, thankful that the trash just seemed to be crumpled up papers. I lowered myself down, peering over the edge and realizing I’d have to duck my head a bit to be fully concealed in here. It was well hidden, though. There was no way the infected would be smart enough to notice me, but either way, I made sure to reach down and grab a few handfuls of the papers to layer over my head for extra camouflage.

I peeked out at the room quickly again. Nayoung pulled the desk closer to the wall, so it’d be even less likely for any of them to see her, and hid underneath. Hoseok had gone to a coat rack in the other corner, balancing on the bottom and hiding himself amongst all the lengthy suit jackets. He blended in pretty well, especially in the shadows. If the infected were as dumb as I assumed they were, they wouldn’t give him a second glance. Jinseok still held the handle of the door, making sure to double check that we were all safely hidden before opening it. He matched my gaze, shooting me a quick thumbs up before gesturing at me to get all the way in the can. I nodded, ducking my head and adding some more paper on top for good measure.

I heard the door open. The metal scraped, and rapid, uneven footsteps rushed inside. I clenched my entire body and held my breath, listening as closely as I could. If something went wrong with my plan, it wasn’t like I could do anything. I was useless, with a sprained ankle and no weapon or even the strength to use one, I’d just get in the way. So I couldn’t help. If something happened, what should I do...? Stay hidden? Come out? Try to distract the monsters and buy the others some time? My stomach started to tie itself in such painful knots they hurt.

Every second that passed was agony. Unbearable agony, the wait was hellish. I heard their uneven, animalistic breathing, I heard them moving throughout the room, but I didn’t hear any sounds from Nayoung or Jinseok. Nothing human, which was good. It meant none of the things had spotted any of us.

After what felt like an eternity, footsteps started to leave. they headed back out the door. Thank god. It’d worked They went slow, and not all at once. Even after most of them left, I still heard some of the uneven, inconsistent breathing of at least two of those things still there with us.

_Please_ _just leave._ ** _Please._** I clenched my fists as hard as I could, nails digging into my palms and probably breaking through skin, but I barely felt it. My adrenaline was running wild, but it had nowhere to go. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t fight. I had to wait.

One of them growled. Oh. Oh _no_. They only seemed to growl when they saw someone. When they were trying to attack someone. No. It sounded like it was coming near the door. I didn’t dare poke my head out, I didn’t want to be seen, that’d be the end for me. So I was forced to listen. Forced to listen as that door was shut again, as what sounded like Jinseok cried out in what might’ve been pain but could’ve also been surprise. Nayoung moved from beneath her desk, and I heard that axe blade sinking into flesh.

“Stay down!!” Jinseok whispered harshly, audibly shoving something away. It fell to the floor, but got up quickly. How many were there in here with us?

“Get _off_ him!!” Nayoung spoke what might’ve been a bit too loudly, a panic tinging her words I’d never heard in her tone before. I heard a disgusting squelching sound, and something else thud to the floor. I had to look. I knew I shouldn’t, but I had to.

I brought my head back up. The room was clear. The door was cracked open. Two of the things were dead on the floor and one of them was missing its head. Nayoung was panting, clutching her axe with white knuckles, but she trembled. Jinseok was out of breath too, and he seemed startled. His eyes were wider than normal.

I only had a second to look around before Jinseok had rushed toward me, clasping my arm firmly and tugging me hard out from the trash. He set me down on my feet as gently as he could, the tiniest trace of a smirk somehow still on his face. When I grimaced slightly from the sudden pressure, he didn’t hesitate for even a moment to throw me over his shoulder again. It was the opposite shoulder from how he normally did it, and I wondered why. It was only then that I noticed that there was some sort of wound on his other one. One of those things had hurt him. Probably the one Nayoung had decapitated.

They rest of those monsters heard the commotion from outside. They’d run a bit away, but it was barely far enough. We had no time. Nayoung had already shoved that door open, and Hoseok had finally decided to emerge from the coat rack. No more words were exchanged, there was no time for that. We had to run.

Jinseok burst through the library doors first, out into the courtyard, running full speed. Nayoung was at his heels, with Hoseok somehow managing to run ahead with his lighter frame. Those monsters were right behind us, but we’d gotten a few seconds worth of a head start, and that was the difference between life and death now.

Jinseok ran faster, his movements desperate and frantic. “I don’t know this campus, Heejin! Where am I going?!”

I thought for only a split second of a place that might still be safe, despite everything. “The campus police station!!” I told him, my heart beating straight out of my chest. While the rest of them had their backs turned, from the way Jinseok was carting me around, I was forced to stare right at those things as they chased us. They sprinted with what I could only describe as an animalistic desperation, their movements irregular and uncoordinated but also so _purposeful_ and _primal_ somehow. “It should be the safest!!” I _prayed_ that it’d be safe. That I wasn’t telling them to go somewhere that’d just put us in even more danger.

“ _Where_?!” Nayoung shouted at me, managing to run a bit ahead.

“U-uh, between those two buildings!!” I pointed so she could see, and she nodded. She needed to grab Hoseok by his collar to steer him the right way, since he was running blindly forward and not quite listening to us.

Thankfully the station wasn’t far. I knew it was a gamble. I knew that when things started going to shit, there must’ve been hundreds of college kids rushing to the protection of our poorly trained cops just because they had some sorts of weapons. We may very well be rushing into another horde of them, but maybe it was safe. Maybe we’d get lucky again. I felt a familiar tightness in my chest. Wasn’t it about time for all this luck we had to run out?

Nayoung rushed down the way I’d told her, fast, but not as precise or collected as she normally was. She’d been more rattled than I’d ever seen her ever since we got out of that room. Was it because Jinseok got hurt? I glanced at his other shoulder again. It was bleeding considerably. Ouch. Big goof. He must’ve gotten spotted behind the door.

Hoseok stumbled suddenly, falling _hard_ to the gravel we ran on. His cheek slammed into the pavement and he rolled, crying out in pain. Nayoung hesitated for only a second before roughly grabbing the back of his previously untainted suit jacket and pulling him haphazardly to his feet, but that’d slowed us down. Shit shit _shit_. I had no choice but to watch helplessly as those things gained ground on us.

“ _Which way, Heejin?!_ ” Nayoung shouted when we reached a fork in the path we’d been following. But she didn’t even need to ask, we were already there. Lucky, again.

“It’s that building! The white one!!” I told her quickly. 

The doors were right there. In reach. We could make it, we _had_ to make it. My mind was running wild with all the ways this could go wrong. What if they were locked? What if Hoseok tripped again? What if one of those things picked up its pace and grabbed one of us? I was so terrified I couldn’t even find my breath.

They opened. Nayoung pushed them, and they opened, and Jinseok had set me down a bit too frantically and I fell to the linoleum floor. The two firefighters turned back around, slamming that door shut and pressing their weight against it _just_ before any of those clawing hands could get through the gap. Hoseok stared, not bothering to help. I used a nearby chair to pull myself to my feet, knowing I wasn’t strong but wanting to contribute as best as I could. I pressed my body against the wood too, being there more in spirit than strength. We _needed_ this door to stay shut.

Jinseok looked around frantically, staring at Hoseok for a moment before matching my gaze. “You two. That desk. Push it over, _fast_.” A vein in his forehead had started to pop out visibly. He was giving this his absolute all. I had to help.

I did as he said, wanting nothing more than to see his big dopey smile again, and rushed over to the desk he’d pointed toward. Hoseok followed me what I could only describe as begrudgingly. He was stronger than I was, I needed his help. Why was he so reluctant? Nayoung had literally just saved his life back there. She could’ve left him when he tripped, but she didn’t. He should be grateful. He should _want_ to help. Instead, he sneered subtly as he pushed that startlingly heavy desk the considerable distance toward the door. Once we got close enough Nayoung lent us a much appreciated hand, and after Jinseok grabbed the other end, it was a breeze. We shoved it in front of that door, and it was sturdy. They weren’t getting in.

We all struggled to catch our breath, sweating and recovering from the unsettling rush of a near-death experience. I’d had way too many of those lately. One after the other, really. We were on the main floor of the station and I heard absolutely nothing. No growling, no screaming, no shooting. It seemed totally abandoned. There weren’t any signs of life, monster or human. It was sort of messy though, there were a few sparse blood splatters here and there, and some loose bullets sprinkling some surfaces. People _had_ been here at some point, but they’d left. They must’ve gotten away. I mean, it was a big building. It wasn’t out of the question that there were dangerous places in other parts of the station, but for now, in that lobby, we could breathe.

Nayoung and Jinseok stepped further into the lobby, not liking being so close to that door, and I staggered after them. Hoseok kept his distance rather deliberately. We stood that way, basking in the realization that there wasn’t an immediate threat for once. That moment of peace lasted about thirty more seconds before Hoseok broke the blissful silence.

“We need to get out of here.” His words were firm but his voice trembled slightly from what I knew was fear.

I raised an eyebrow at him, leaning against a table by that point so I wouldn’t have to put weight on my foot. “Why?” We’d only _just_ gotten to safety. Why on _earth_ was he so eager to dive right back out there?

He pointed a single, accusatory finger at Jinseok. “He’s _infected._ ”

His statement lingered heavily in the air, feeling like it was choking me. I... didn’t understand quite what that meant, but... the way he’d said it, the spite and panic and _severity_ to his tone, it... my skin started to crawl. What was he trying to say...?

Nayoung squinted at Hoseok, her hands still shaking subtly. I didn’t like seeing her so unstable, not when for this whole time, despite everything, she’d seemed so stalwart and unwavering. “Who? Jinseok?”

Hoseok looked at her like she was insane, his eyes wide and nearly crazed. His stance made it seem like he was moments away from bolting, which I honestly would’ve encouraged by that point. “Yes!! He’s bitten, do you idiots know _anything?!_ ”

Bitten? I looked over at the kindhearted mass of muscle and at the wound he’d gotten. Was that a bite...? It was bleeding too much for me to really tell. And I hadn’t seen it happen. Even if he had been bitten, why did it matter?

Jinseok didn’t seem much bothered by it either. His brow furrowed in confusion, and he smirked slightly, trying to bring some much needed levity to the dreadful tension of this situation. He shrugged, “So what if I’m bitten? Who cares?”

Hoseok glared at us spitefully. “That means he’s gonna _turn!!”_

Nayoung spoke up, seeming unconvinced. “Turn? Like? What, you mean he’ll turn into one?”

“ _Yes._ ” He hadn’t hesitated. And he sounded _so_ certain. My heart was in my throat. Was he serious? He sounded serious. Is that how this spread? Those things would bite people, and turn them into... more of them? That was fucking terrifying. Now that I thought back on it, they had always seemed like they were trying to bite at us. Get those teeth into our skin. They’d gotten so close, so many times. That would’ve been the end. But... not Jinseok. Please, not Jinseok.

Too lost in my own train of thought, I was only snapped out of it when Nayoung stormed forward suddenly, getting right in Hoseok’s face again like she had back in the room. He did his best not to flinch, to stand his ground, but he visibly wavered for a second. Anyone would’ve. Nayoung’s glare could melt ice. “Bullshit.”

He scoffed at her boldly, and I was worried she might just wedge her axe straight into his neck. “Why would I fucking lie about this?!! We aren’t safe with him!”

I felt like I was having a crisis. I always felt safe with Jinseok. He _made_ me feel safe, how could he not be safe anymore? I found myself looking at him. Trying to picture him with those terrifying milky white eyes, with blood under his nails and dripping from his lips, with that unfiltered, primal rage and monstrous disregard for humanity, and I couldn’t do it. He wasn’t like that. He’d never be like that, he couldn’t.

Nayoung spoke through clenched teeth, stepping even closer to Hoseok. He took a step back, definitely rattled by the rage in her eyes. “Shut _up_. He’s fine.”

Jinseok spoke up cautiously again, probably feeling strange being talked about like he wasn’t even there. He waved one of his huge hands, trying to get their attention, but they were too invested in their deadly stare off to so much as glance in his direction. “I feel fine.” He felt fine. He was okay. Right? He had to be okay.

Hoseok was treating us like we were delusional. Were we...? “We don’t want to be trapped in here with him when he turns. We need to get out.” I didn’t like how he kept speaking for us like we were a collective now. He walked away from Nayoung, heading deeper into the building and down a nearby hall. His previous caution and cowardice seemed to have been forgotten now that we were in this situation. Was it really that serious...? We all sort of started to follow him, Jinseok to convince him of his own wellbeing and Nayoung to continue their argument.

Jinseok spoke up in that same, lighthearted tone. “Really, man, I feel fine. I mean the bite stings a bit but that’d happen if anything bit me.” He had a point.

Hoseok waved dismissively at him. I wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but he was doing so desperately. “ _No._ You’re infected.” He turned sharply, entering a room in the hallway with an open door. We were still following a small distance behind, but when we went to go in after him we all froze. Jinseok had entered first, and Hoseok aimed a double-barreled shotgun right at his head. “Don’t come near me.”

Nayoung didn’t hesitate for even a second, rushing forward and grabbing the gun’s barrel to tilt it up and aim it at the ceiling. She grit her teeth again, her absolute lividity filling the room in tangible waves. “ _DON’T.”_

I stepped closer fast, not wanting to get directly in between the two but feeling like I had to intervene. I rested my hand gently on the small of Nayoung’s back. She didn’t even register the contact. “Okay let’s just... stay calm. Maybe put the gun down? Both of you?”

Nobody moved. Not an inch. Not even Jinseok. I reached slowly closer. It looked like Hoseok was still trying to desperately pull his gun back to himself, while Nayoung was trying to pull it away, and the firearm trembled in the space between them from the effort being exerted from two opposite directions. I gently rested my small hands on it, and as soon as I tugged even slightly, Nayoung released her grip. Hoseok wasn’t so nice, though. He didn’t aim it directly at Hoseok again, but he tugged it roughly from me.

“You’re all fucking _crazy_.” The room we were in had a small holding cell in it. It was for college kids who got into just a bit too much trouble when they were drunk off their asses on weekends. Hoseok pointed toward the bars. “Put him in there.” He raised his gun slightly more toward us, not quite all the way.

“Huh? You want me to go in the cell?” Jinseok raised an eyebrow, the look on his face something I could only describe as disbelief. He wasn’t scared, just mildly distraught that Hoseok wouldn’t believe him, I think.

“Who the _fuck_ do you think you are?” Nayoung spoke lowly to him. I gripped her wrist tightly, ready to try and restrain her if I had to. As if I could. I didn’t want her beating Hoseok to a pulp, even if he might’ve deserved it.

I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know who to believe or who to trust. It felt like my brain was melting into nothing.

We didn’t know enough about this. Sure, we’d just met Hoseok, but it wasn’t hard to see the genuine terror behind his eyes, or to hear it in his words. He wasn’t lying. He genuinely thought we were in serious danger. If Jinseok _did_ turn into one of those things, he’d be practically unstoppable with his size. That’d be so dangerous. We couldn’t risk it.

I looked at him. His smile had faded by then, and he seemed like he was at a bit of a loss. It wasn’t like I could force him into that cell. He could hold me back with his pinky finger. This didn’t have to be a fight. Maybe Hoseok _was_ wrong, but putting Jinseok into a cell wasn’t inherently bad. We could watch him safely from there, and let him out if nothing happened.

“Jinseok...” I spoke slowly, cautiously. Nayoung’s head whipped in my direction from my tone. She already knew what I was about to say, and when I matched her gaze for a second I could only describe the look behind her eyes as betrayal. My chest tightened, but I forced my next words out. “Just... get in the cell, please.”

Nayoung immediately tugged herself from my grasp, backing up and standing in front of Jinseok. She held her axe in a way that looked like she might actually swing it at us, at _me_. “Don’t fucking touch him. He’s _not_ going in there, because he’s _fine._ ” Her voice shook, even when she ushered that insistence through clenched teeth.

  
I didn’t know what to say or do. I couldn’t overpower her. I didn’t _want_ to, I owed these two my life. They were good people. Kind people. I never thought I’d be put into this position. Hoseok started to move forward, opening his mouth to surely say something that would make things worse, but I held up my hand to stop him. I needed to think. I needed to be careful about this. I could see Nayoung coming apart visibly at the seams. It hurt to watch.

Jinseok surprisingly spoke before I had the chance to. He rested his big hand gently on Nayoung’s shoulder. “Hey... it’s alright. If it’ll make Heejin and Hoseok feel better, I’ll stand in a cell for a bit. No big deal.” How could he still sound so carefree? My eyes started to burn.

I didn’t want him to be one of those things. I wanted to stay at his side. I wanted him to meet Hyunjin, they’d probably arm wrestle or something and I honestly wasn’t sure who’d win. She’d love him. I wanted to meet his wife that he’d mentioned four or five times on the way to my campus. I didn’t want _this_ , I didn’t want to watch as he pried Nayoung’s hand from his arm to detach her so he could get inside the cell, or hear the sound of keys as Hoseok locked that door behind him.

A silence spread once he was in there. He sat on a nearby bench, resting one of his big hands on his shoulder and putting some pressure on the bite. I sat on the floor right outside the bars. After only a moment, Nayoung sat at my side, the two of us staring in at him.

“You guys shouldn’t be so close. When he turns he could grab you--” Hoseok tried to caution us but Nayoung was unsurprisingly having none of it.

“--If you don’t get out of this room, I’m gonna hit you.” Her voice was low and emotionless. It lacked even anger. She didn’t look at him either, instead just staring in at Jinseok still. He was smiling at her and making faces, trying to cheer her up, but it’d take more than that.

“Hit me?! That’s--” I turned to look at him before he could protest any further, and he thankfully shut up. After glaring for a few more moments, he took his shotgun with him and left, shutting the door on his way out. He had the keys still. That might’ve been for the best.

For what must’ve been a solid ten minutes, nobody said anything else. We just sat there. I looked at the splint on my foot, remembering when Jinseok carefully made it for me with his clumsy hands. He’d ruffled the hair on my head, told me I’d reminded him of his niece. I wasn’t wearing my waitress uniform anymore, either. No, he’d found a big sweater with the fire station’s logo on it that he’d left there for “when it got cold,” and he’d given it to me. I balled up fistfuls of it then. It was _way_ too big, but that was sort of comforting. 

Finally, Jinseok spoke. “Nayoung-ah, don’t look so down!” He tried to tell her. His smile was nice to see, but conflicting all the same. He tilted his head. “C’mon. We’ve gotten through worse.”

Nayoung sniffled, laughing hollowly. “I guess we have... remember when you were mad that you never got to rescue a cat from a tree?” She shook her head slightly. “You’re such a big dope.”

He pouted. “I’m still mad! I want to rescue it and then adopt it and name it Ashes. Oh, and it has to be a black or grey cat otherwise the name wouldn’t work.”

I raised an eyebrow. “So would you just not rescue the cat if it wasn’t black or gray?” His eyes widened at the notion, jumping to correct me, but I kept going. “Oh, I see how it is. Didn’t know you were a cat racist.” He chuckled heartily from my sarcasm and I even got a small giggle from Nayoung. This levity was... bittersweet. Unlike other times we’d joke to try and lighten things up, this time it was... darker. It wasn’t staying or lingering in the air like it tended to, it just dissipated as soon as it’d been said. None of it would stick.

“I’d rescue the others ones!! But I wouldn’t _adopt_ them, cuz I’m not good with names. I’ve committed to Ashes. That’s _such_ a cute name, even Nayoung thinks so!!” He pointed at her, as if expecting her to corroborate that, but she shook her head subtly. “What?! I’m being gaslighted.”

I just smiled, trying to make it sincere and not like I was pitying him. I didn’t want to pity him, he didn’t need that. “You’ve got it all planned out, huh?”

He nodded triumphantly, fiddling with the ring on his finger. My chest tightened. His wife. Oh. I didn’t dare bring her up, and I was surprised he hadn’t. The tears hovering behind my eyes got harder to keep back, but I swallowed them down. More minutes passed. Long, dragging minutes. I wondered how long it took... for it to happen. It couldn’t be that long, considering how many of those things there were and how fast it’d all gone to hell. Jinseok’s skin looked a bit paler than normal. His hands started to subtly tremble, but that could’ve been from anything, right?

“Does that hurt...?” Nayoung asked him weakly, looking toward his shoulder. I scooted closer to her on the floor. However hard this was for me, I knew the feeling for her was amplified tenfold.

He shrugged. “A little. It’s starting to uh... burn.” He seemed hesitant to tell us that.

That didn’t sound good. I looked closer at him. The veins on his neck were getting subtly visible. A sheen of sweat glistened on his forehead. He wasn’t even doing anything, why was he sweating? I... didn’t like this.

Nayoung got to her feet suddenly, “You should patch that up. Stop touching it with your big meaty hand, moron.” The teasing was forced. She was trying to be casual. Before she left the room, presumably to look for something for his wound, she met my eyes quickly. She wanted me to come with her. Uh oh. She extended her hand down subtly and I took it, getting to my feet. Jinseok didn’t notice. He was staring down at his ring with a faint smile. His breathing was starting to get audible.

Nayoung dragged me into the hallway, not having released her grip on my hand. Instead it’d tightened. As soon as we were out there and the door was shut, she started to lose it. Her eyes got glossy, tears clinging to her long eyelashes as she tried and failed to steady herself. “Heejin, I can’t do this.” She whispered to me desperately.

“Hey, hey, whoa... do what?” I asked. She let me go and started to pace frantically. Her whole body was shaking hard.

She pushed some of her hair out of her face, trying to think. “Hoseok was right. That little _worm_ was right. Did you see him...? He’s... god he’s _dying_ right in front of us, I-I can’t...” Her voice broke and she covered her mouth. Her eyes were wide, panicked, and tears started to finally leave them.

I stepped closer, holding her in place so she’d stop her incessant pacing, and as soon as my hand touched her arm she clung to me unexpectedly. Her tears stained my shoulder. “Shh...” I rubbed my hand along her back, her fingers grabbing fistfuls of what she must’ve known was his old sweater. “Shh... I’m sorry.”

“What am I supposed to _do_ , Heejin? H-He’s my friend, I-I should do something, I-I don’t want him to turn into one of those things, b-but I-I don’t think I-I can hurt him, I-I mean that’s _Jinseok_ , I-I...” I could barely understand her through all of her tears, but I got the jist. My heart was aching.

Hoseok emerged from an adjacent room, unfortunately, and even more unfortunately, he’d heard our conversation. “You have to kill him. Only way to stop him from turning.”

Nayoung didn’t bother to look, but tightened her grip on me at his harsh words. I sneered at him. “Why don’t _you_ do it, you were so eager to earlier.”

He shook his head. “I’m not getting anywhere near that behemoth. It’s your problem.”

Nayoung pulled away suddenly, tears still streaming down her cheeks, but grabbed Hoseok by his collar and slammed him into the nearest wall. She was nearly choking him, lifting him slightly off his feet. “ _You_ don’t fucking _talk_ about him like that.”

“Nayoung...” I spoke softly, my voice somehow enough to calm her. She was angry, yeah, but much more than that she was sad. Devastated. That came through, and she let him go. He coughed, having dropped his gun to the floor from the altercation.

I bent over, using the wall to support myself, and hefted the considerable weight of the shotgun into my grasp. Wow. It was heavier than I thought it’d be. My hands shook. Nayoung looked at me with those same panicked eyes. I wasn’t sure if I could do this. I’d never thought I’d ever _have_ to do something like this. I needed to be brave, it was well past being my turn, but... I _wasn’t_ brave. I’d never been brave. I’d always hid behind other people - my whole life. My parents, my friends, my significant others, and now Nayoung and Jinseok. I had to help her, now. I had to be brave for her when she couldn’t be anymore.

“What’re you doing...?” Nayoung asked me worriedly. 

I swallowed hard. It was getting so hard to keep those tears back. “I’ll do it.” My voice nearly broke, but I kept it steady.

Hoseok nodded smugly, still recovering a bit from the recent assault. “Good. Better shoot him quick. He’s probably turned by now.” Nayoung turned and shot him probably the most intense death glare of that whole night, and he raised his hands up in defense before stepping back. He retreated into another room and I was more than grateful for the privacy.

Nayoung moved closer to me, her voice low and soft but still strained. “Heejin... I-I can’t ask you to do this.” She wiped away the tears that stained her cheeks shakily with the heels of her hands.

“I can’t ask you to do it either.” I told her gently. There was no way. If _I_ was feeling this awful about what was going on, I couldn’t even begin to fathom how hard this was for her. I was amazed she was still holding it together this much, her tears temporarily having stopped as she had this conversation.

Her eyes changed. She was conflicted, and sorting through a lot of opposing thoughts, surely, but I saw something she couldn’t hide. She was thankful. She knew she wouldn’t be able to do it herself, she’d practically just told me so a few minutes before. Hoseok sure as hell wasn’t going to do it, he didn’t care. So... it was up to me. It’d never been up to me before. What if I messed up? My heart was in my throat and my whole body felt rooted to the spot. Like I couldn’t move, like I couldn’t even bring myself to go back in that room. Jinseok had no idea. He thought we’d left to go get bandages for his shoulder, not to debate on who was going to put a bullet in his head. I felt like I was gonna be sick.

Nayoung blinked rapidly, “I... I can do it, I-I--”

“--No.” I wouldn’t let her. “You shouldn’t have to.”

She kept trying to insist, a strange sense of protectiveness evident in her words. “He’s my friend, h-have you even shot a gun before? Let me, it’s fine, I can--”

“-- _No_.” I took a step back, holding the gun away when she halfheartedly reached to take it. “Nayoung, no. Just... wait out here. Okay...?” She stared. Her lips were parted, like she was going to say something else or protest further, but nothing came out. She did nothing, just watched with glossy eyes as I forced myself to finally move. I pushed that door back open and stepped inside, gently shutting it behind me with a sharp exhale.

He was still in there. SItting on that bench. His head had lolled on his neck, eyes lidded. Oh god. He looked even worse than when we’d left him. His skin was nearly white as a sheet, and his veins had darkened to a deep, unsettling purple. His whole body would shake every now and then so violently it was nearly a spasm. His eyes were discolored. They weren’t white yet, but their previous deep, warm brown had faded to a faint tan. His breathing was raspy and ragged, barely even there. He hadn’t noticed me come in.

I stepped closer, slowly, leaning against the desk and staring. He still hadn’t noticed me. Despite seeming so incredibly out of it, his fingers still fiddled with his ring, twirling it and brushing his thumb against the metal. For a while, I couldn’t bring myself to say or do anything. What was I supposed to say? Should I even say anything, or would that just make it worse? My stomach hurt. He coughed suddenly, covering his mouth with his hand,, and when he brought it away there was blood in his palm. Oh.

“A-are you okay?” The question left me before I could think. I shouldn’t have asked that. Of course he wasn’t okay. He was slowly turning into a monster. It must’ve hurt like hell. I think he was fighting it. I felt like he was. He was clinging to what was left of his humanity, to his old self, but even he wasn’t invincible. 

He didn’t answer me. He didn’t even look at me, like he hadn’t heard the question. He shut his eyes, seeming unfazed by the fact he’d literally coughed up blood. He didn’t have long. I knew that. I had to do this, I’d come in here to _do_ this. I raised the gun. It was heavy and it hurt my arms. It was too far away, I didn’t want to miss, so I dared to step closer to the bars, slinking the barrel through a gap between them. He still didn’t so much as glance at me. The only sign he was even alive was when he twitched every now and then.

“Jinseok... I’m sorry.” I whispered out, aiming the gun at his head. He was probably two or so feet away. That apology was so stupid. I felt like an absolute idiot. How could I “apologize” for killing him? I didn’t want to do this. I _didn’t_ want to _do_ this...

Tears started to stream down my cheeks and I didn’t bother trying to keep them in anymore. What was the point of pretending like I was strong? Like I was okay? I wasn’t. I was as far from okay as I could possibly be. I felt like I was about to shatter into utterly irreparable shards. I’d never hurt anyone before. Never so much as thrown a punch. And now I was about to pull the trigger on a big, lovable human teddy bear. Had I lied to Nayoung...? Could I really do this...?

He coughed again, more blood splattering the floor that time. It was like he didn’t even have the energy to try and cover his mouth anymore. What caught me off guard was when he spoke. His voice was small and nearly inaudible, sweat nearly dripping from his brow at this point. “Ah... Nayoung...?” My heart wrenched. His head turned, and his eyes finally fell on me. They were white now. But he wasn’t a monster yet. “Heejin-ah...” He smiled. It was the faintest, smallest little smile, but it was a Jinseok smile, and it made me feel like my chest was caving in on itself. “That gun’s half your size... ha... Huh?” He tilted his head at me, narrowing those white eyes. “Why’re you crying? Don’t cry...” He tried to stand, to get close to me, but as soon as he got to his feet, he fell. Hard, down on all fours, coughing more and more and it was just all _blood_.

I had to do this. I had to. He was dying. He was suffering, it was only getting worse, and I was running out of time. I knelt down in front of those bars, the gun shaking in my small hands. I tried to raise it, to aim it at his head that was mere inches from the barrel. My vision was blurred from all the tears but I could see him.

_(fanart drawn by twitter user<https://twitter.com/danns_twt>)_

He looked up at me with those white eyes, that kindness somehow still visible behind them. “Don’t... cry.”

“I’m _so_ sorry.”

I pulled the trigger.

It was loud. The sound reverberated inside my head and made my ears ring. I was thrown back slightly from the recoil, and I felt something wet splatter onto my face. I knew it was blood. _His_ blood. I opened my eyes, my breathing erratic. It felt like I was going into shock, but I couldn’t afford to do that. I blinked hard, dropping the gun to the floor. There was blood on it. On my hands, my face, and my sweater. I tried to wipe it off, my motions uncoordinated and frantic because of how much I was still shaking. My tears had stopped. It was like everything was... too much for me to even cry anymore. I couldn’t look at him. There was no way.

I pulled myself to my feet. I’d done it. I’d killed him.

I’d never felt more empty in my life.

Nayoung wasn’t in the hallway when I came back outside. She wasn’t anywhere in view. For a few lingering moments I started to panic, assuming the worst, wondering if something happened or if she’d abandoned me, but then I heard noise from a few rooms down. My body still shook as I headed toward it, almost stumbing, and it wasn’t because of my foot anymore. It was from my instability. I felt like I’d fall over from so much as a breeze.

Hoseok and Nayoung were inside what looked like some sort of equipment room. I was amazed they hadn’t started tearing each other’s heads off yet. When I rounded the corner, they were just going about their own business. Nayoung sat on a bench with her head in her hands, partially covering her ears. Hoseok rooted through various cabinets, making a pile of things he found on a nearby metal table. I didn’t care about him, not then.

I walked toward Nayoung and knelt in front of her. She wouldn’t look at me. Her eyes were open, but she just stared down at the floor. I didn’t say anything. What was I supposed to say? I actually wasn’t sure if I’d be able to talk at all. I think tears still left me, but I’d gone numb and couldn’t feel them. Everything felt numb.

“I should’ve held that door.” She spoke, her voice detached and airy. “They wouldn’t have seen me. He wouldn’t have been bitten. It’s my fault.”

“No,” The word left me in an instant. My voice was raspy. “He wouldn’t have let you.” I didn’t want her blaming herself. Guilt was the absolute last thing she needed, on top of everything else. But... now that she’d brought up the concept of blame, my chest tightened as I realized something. “It’s my fault. It was my plan that went wrong. It was a stupid idea, I-I should’ve thought of something else.”

She sniffled, wiping a tear from her cheek and finally daring to look at me. She saw the blood on my face and her jaw dropped for a few moments. “Don’t... if we hadn’t done that, we would’ve been trapped in that room for god knows how long...” She looked at my hands, at the blood I’d halfheartedly tried to wipe off but only managed to smudge. There was a jacket discarded on the bench next to her, and she grabbed it, using its surprisingly soft sleeve to wipe the blood from my skin gently. The contact was so impossibly comforting, I had no idea how badly I’d needed it.

I felt the tears now. I felt them streaming faster and faster, and Nayoung didn’t say a word, just trying to catch them with that jacket’s sleeve and wipe them away. My mind started running rampant with different scenarios, better scenarios, ways to have prevented this despite the pointlessness of the hindsight. “I-I made noise. I was freaking out and I drew them right to us. I-If I’d just calmed down, if I’d listened to you guys, i-if I hadn’t even brought you here in the first place, he--”

She hugged me. She hugged me, _tight_ , and I just hid my face in her shoulder and didn’t say anything else.

“Shh...” She tried to hold me steady, but she couldn’t even keep herself from trembling. I clung to her, shutting my eyes, hating the thoughts and the guilt running relentlessly through my head. “Shh... he wouldn’t want us doing this.” It hurt her to even say that aloud, but it seemed to jar the both of us. She was right. This was the absolute last thing Jinseok would want us doing: trying to put blame on someone or something when it had just... happened.

“Are you two done over there?” Hoseok piped up from the other side of the room. He’d been making pretty consistent clattering noises this whole time, still taking things from the cabinet. I blinked, in a bit of disbelief at his insensitivity. “I’m sorry about your friend. Honestly. But we shouldn’t stay here.” Shockingly, that apology had been sincere. Or at least as sincere as I think he could've been without melting.

Nayoung took a deep, trembling breath and let me go. Part of me almost instinctively latched back onto her, craving comfort, contact, reassurance and just... _anything_ besides the pain in my chest. But I let her move away, let her get to her feet and pull me to mine. “Yeah. Guess we shouldn’t, there’s not much of a point. This whole campus is fucking infested.” And I’d been the one to drag them there. My eyes burned. I still felt hollow.

Hoseok nodded. Wow, they’d agreed on something. He pointed to the table he’d been loading things onto, and I saw that he’d organized some small piles of what he’d found. They were weapons. Not too many, but better than nothing. Nayoung had left her axe propped up against a nearby wall, and I think she was too attached to it sentimentally to use much of anything else, so I guess these weapons were mainly for Hoseok and I.

I stepped around the table and looked closer at them. I flinched when he gently patted my shoulder, muttering something. “Pick your poison. These would all work for you, since you’re sort of tiny. No offense.” His tone was different now. I wasn’t sure if Nayoung had beat his ass while I’d dealt with Jinseok, or if he’d suddenly grown a conscience, but he was being nicer. Okay, well, “nice” was a stretch, but he was acting like less of a dick.

I wasn’t really sure what to choose. But having my own weapon would definitely make me feel less like dead weight in this group.

I lifted a small pistol into my hands. It was weighty, but not heavy like the shotgun had been. I could hold it without feeling like my arms were gonna cramp up. Hoseok nodded at me as I stared at the metal, reaching forward and flicking a small thing on the back of it.

“That’s the safety. You don’t want that on.” He grabbed the baton, looking like that’s the one he’d wanted anyway. I was amazed he’d let me pick first. That didn’t seem like him, from what I’d gathered. “That gun is much more your size. Nice choice.” He wasn’t even being sarcastic. Okay, I was definitely starting to suspect that Nayoung had punched him or something while I’d been gone, because he was being startlingly agreeable.

“How many bullets does it have?” Nayoung asked. Her steadiness was coming back to her, slowly but surely. Her voice didn’t quiver and she was falling back into her natural leadership role. It was nice to see, but I wasn’t sure how long it’d take me to bounce back. I felt like what’d happened had... changed me. And that was scary.

Hoseok reached to gently take it from me, and I let him. He took the clip out, looking at it before putting it back in and handing the pistol to me. “A full clip.”

Nayoung nodded. “Don’t think we’d be lucky enough to find anything else. It looks like this place got cleared out a while ago.” She was right. The cabinet Hoseok had been rooting through was the only one that wasn’t totally empty.

Hoseok glanced at Nayoung. “Guessing you’re gonna keep your axe?” She just nodded again. “Smart, you’re good with it.” Nayoung looked visibly surprised that he’d practically complimented her, but she did her best to subdue the reaction. I didn’t blame her. “I’ll take the baton, but it’d be a shame to leave this behind.” He picked up the taser into his other hand. “Heejin, do you think you could carry this? It might get you out of a bind if you get pinned or trapped, with your foot, and we aren’t there.” Was he implying he’d protect me if I got cornered? As if. I didn’t put much stock in that.

Nayoung shrugged. “We don’t even know if that’ll hurt those things.”

“Yeah, but it’d sure as hell stop a person in their tracks.” Hoseok muttered, his tone almost foreboding.

I raised an eyebrow, my voice not steady like Nayoung’s had become. “A person? Why would I need to use it on a person?” He placed it in my hand. It was relatively small, it’d fit in my pocket.

He shook his head slightly with a smug smile. “When shit hits the fan, it brings out the best and the worst in people. Notably the worst.” I wondered if he knew how unintentionally self-aware he was being. Maybe he’d re-evaluated his priorities and didn’t want to be such an ass anymore. His eyes moved back to me, and his gaze wasn’t as cold as it’d been before. “Hold onto it. Once you use it, it’ll be out of juice, so don’t get careless.”

Alright. At least I was armed. Shooting a gun wasn’t rocket science, I mean, I’d just done it. As long as those things were relatively in range, I could get them. And from what I could tell, they went down like people did. Even if I just hit their legs, they probably wouldn’t be able to chase us anymore. Okay, good. I could help now. Or at least, I could help as long as I had bullets.

Nayoung walked around the table to be at my other side, placing a gentle hand at the small of my back and muttering to me softly so Hoseok couldn’t quite hear. “Be careful with that. If I can help it, none of those things’ll get close enough for you to even have to use it, but... be careful.”

I nodded shakily. I wasn’t alone, she was still there, and that made me feel safer than any weapon ever could.

There weren’t many windows in the police station, but there was a small one near the ceiling that started to stream in sunlight. Oh. Had it really been that long? Somehow it managed to simultaneously feel like this hell has gone on for days, but also like it’d only been a few chaotic hours. I guess in truth it was somewhere in between. It was jarring to see that sunlight. To be reminded that the world was actually still turning, despite everything we’d ever known falling apart right before our eyes.

Nayoung walked back to her axe and picked it up. “Alright. We should go.” Without another word, she started to march straight out of the room and down the hall, in the opposite direction of the entrance we’d come through.

“Where’re we heading?” Hoseok asked, matching her pace but looking over his shoulder to make sure I was able to keep up. I could, moderately. I’d gotten pretty good at limping a normal speed. Now I didn’t really have a choice, Jinseok wasn’t around to carry me. If she was forced to, Nayoung probably could, but she was our main protection too. No, I needed to protect myself, and not just be someone the others were forced to look after.

Nayoung seemed to think about his question hard. She slowed down slightly and glanced very briefly back at me. “We can go to my Mom’s. She lives outside the city. Unless you have a better idea, Hoseok?”

My stomach dropped. Outside the city? But...

“‘Better’ is a strong word. I’ll follow you. We should stick together. Don’t worry, I can hold my own.” He was stocky enough. Not at Jinseok’s level, of course, but he had some meat on him.

She shrugged, seeming genuinely indifferent. “I guess. If you can help keep Heejin safe, then yeah, you can come with us.”

Nayoung’s sudden protectiveness of me sort of seemed... new? I guess? Sure, she and Jinseok had always watched out for me, but it more or less seemed like they were doing it out of a lingering sense of community service from their jobs as firefighters. Now it seemed personal, like she felt a real, deep connection. Which was honestly mutual. I think she was grateful for me handling the Jinseok... situation. It was the least I could do. Regardless of how it happened or if it even made sense, we cared about each other now.

I had to speak up. It was hard to keep my borderline panic from my voice, a similar desperation and fear making my throat constrict. “Y-You said we could look for Hyunjin—“

She’d anticipated that. I think she knew I’d bring it up as soon as she mentioned our destination, and she had a response already prepared. “—Jinseok said that, and I agreed, but you aren’t dumb, Heejin. This city is shit. It’ll fucking kill us to stay here. Hopefully your girl was smart enough to get out too.” Her tone was... harsh, but persuasive. She was trying to reason with me, but it felt like someone just slapped me across the face.

My heart started beating faster and faster. Was this it? Was I losing my only chance at finding Hyunjin, right here, right now? “W-What if she didn’t? What if she’s still here looking for me??”

I knew I was putting her in a tough spot, but that was the furthest thought from my mind. She sighed, shaking her head back and forth before telling me frankly, “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

That statement made me falter. I guess I didn’t know what I wanted her to say either. It wasn’t like I could get by on my own. I needed her to help me if I wanted to look for Hyunjin and actually find her without dying along the way. But her patience for all my aimless hunting had worn down. It was too hard for her to be harsh enough to tell me that, but I could tell. Did she think it was a lost cause? Is that what she was trying to say? It wasn’t, it couldn’t be. I wouldn’t believe that.

Nayoung stopped suddenly at what I realized was a back exit, and turned to look straight into my eyes. Hoseok stood patiently at our side, not interfering. “Listen. We’ve been inside here a while. I’d say we go back to your dorm quick. _One more time_. We don’t hover, we just see if she’s there. And if it’s too dangerous, we bail. Does that sound fair?” She was really trying to compromise as best as she could. She was probably clinging to the promise she and Jinseok had made me back at the fire station, when things were still godawful but seemed blissful compared to where we were now. Jinseok’s promise to me was one of the few things left of him, after all.

It wasn’t actually a matter for debate, and I knew that. She wasn’t asking me, she was telling me, as nicely as she possibly could. This really was my last chance. It felt like I couldn’t breathe, but I nodded.

We were out the door the next second. Hoseok moved, gently clasping my arm and placing me so that I was in between he and Nayoung instead of taking up the rear. She’d quickened her pace now that we were back outside and I struggled to keep up, but managed with a lot of effort. We essentially had to go back the way we’d come. Those monsters that’d chased us down from the library should in theory still be pounding away at the front entrance, and we were using a side alley to go around. So there shouldn’t be any problems, in theory, but I didn’t trust anything anymore. I held onto my pistol with white knuckles.

We were about to come out of the alley and back onto a more major path, but I reached forward and clung tightly to the back of Nayoung’s jacket. She stopped in her tracks and I whispered something to her. “Stay off the paths. Alleys might be safer.”

She nodded in silent agreement, and I directed her to a small narrow passage between two big buildings at our left. Sometimes I’d use it as a shortcut between classes. I’d always held my breath when I walked past the dumpster, and on sheer engrained instinct I did it again.

But suddenly seemingly out of nowhere, one of those blood covered monsters jumped out from behind it and jumped straight at Nayoung’s side. It all happened in an instant. It was rabid, pinning her roughly to the wall, and the impact made her drop her axe. It’s teeth were gnashing, trying to sink into her neck or her arms that she used to keep it at bay.

No no _no_.

I _needed_ to get it off her. Without taking so much as a second to think, I pulled the trigger of my pistol. The sound was deafening and the gun jolted, hurting my hands, but I’d hit it. That could’ve gone awfully. I could’ve missed altogether, or even accidentally shot Nayoung, but instead the bullet sank straight into its side. It stumbled backward, clutching its new wound, and Nayoung had enough time to shove hard enough for it to lose its footing. She frantically scooped her axe back into her hands and brought it down hard straight against the thing’s chest, the blade wedging itself in deep.

“Shit.” Hoseok muttered to himself before starting to run forward. He grabbed onto my arm, pulling me with him while Nayoung pried her axe free and followed. At first I wasn’t sure why he’d cursed, but realized it after only a few seconds. That gunshot had been _loud_. I’d been so full of pure panic and adrenaline that I hadn’t even thought about the noise it’d make. _Shit_. Any infected even remotely nearby would’ve heard that shot and made a beeline straight for us. Oh no.

Nayoung caught up and I felt her hand firmly on my other arm. I glanced at her, a thank you expressed clearly in her eyes, but there was something else there too. I thought back to what she said: that we’d leave if things got too dangerous. I wasn’t stupid. I knew that with this many infected swarming us, trapping ourselves in a building with only one exit would practically be a death sentence. I knew that, but she’d told me we could look one last time. She’d said so. Was she trying to wordlessly take that back? She couldn’t. I needed this last chance. I wouldn’t know what to do if I didn’t get it.

The alley let out into the courtyard, but by the time we got there, we were already being chased. The same ones who’d run us into the police station were coming after us again, and although we’d gotten a head start, I wasn’t sure if it’d be enough. I shook Hoseok’s tight grip from me, trying to rush and head for the dorm, but Nayoung held me back.

“ _No_ , Heejin, it’s not safe!!” She shouted at me. The sounds of their growling rang in my ears.

The small, rational part of me knew she was right, but... I couldn’t just leave. My mind kept replaying a scenario where Hyunjin came back here, looked for me, and didn’t know I’d ever been there... what if she stopped looking? Oh no, what if she thought I was dead?? That’d crush her. No, I needed her to know I was okay, but how? What could I do to show her that?

I started to panic. I had no time. No time at all to make some sort of sign. There was a map in the middle of the courtyard, it was just one of campus, but there were small pamphlets that had maps of the city you could take with you. There.

We normally would’ve rushed past it in our haste, but I stopped firmly in my tracks, digging my heels into the grass. Nayoung was caught off guard but stopped too, more than ready to forcefully pull me along with her again, but she saw what I was doing and begrudgingly hesitated. She watched with bated breath as I snatched one of those maps frantically into my hands. I realized abruptly that I needed a pen, then remembered there was still one in my pocket from my shift.

Hoseok slammed his baton into one of those thing’s faces and it fell to the ground, stunned, not dead. They were practically on us. “Nayoung, where’s your mom’s place?!” I asked her, needing to shout to be heard over all the chaos mere moments from bearing down on us. I’d opened the map, my hands shaking.

Nayoung leaned over, looking at it and pointing vaguely to a street far outside the city, “There-ish!!” That was all she had a chance to give me before she ran to Hoseok’s side, swinging her axe straight into one of the monster’s faces as it was about to sink its teeth into his shoulder. There was no time. We probably should’ve started running already.

I quickly uncapped the pen with my teeth, ready to put something on that spot, anything, but before I could even put the pen to paper Hoseok had grabbed me and started to pull me away.

“No! I-I need to write something--” I yelped when one of the things’ teeth nearly took a chunk from the back of my neck. I’d felt it’s hot breath on my skin. If Hoseok hadn’t pulled me...

“There’s no time Heejin!!” He shouted at me loud, harsh, trying to snap me out of it, but it didn’t work.

My hand shook violently as I brought my pen down, panicked and unable to think. All I could manage to do was circle the spot Nayoung had implicated and frantically draw something I knew Hyunjin would understand. If I’d tried to write it would’ve been illegible. I tugged myself from the tight grip of Hoseok’s hand and rushed over toward my dorm as fast as I could. I stumbled and nearly tripped over my own two feet, knowing that some of those monsters were still coming after me but not caring. As soon as I got to the front steps, I crumpled the map up slightly and tossed it through the open door, watching as it landed right in the middle of the lobby, standing a bit out of place. That was the best I could do, and it’d almost gotten me killed.

Nayoung had thankfully seen me running off and followed, just in time to chop one out of my way right as its fingers had latched onto my bad ankle. She chopped its hand clean off at the wrist and I sneered. “You’re fucking crazy.” Nayoung told me under her breath, pushing me to go ahead of her as we rushed out of the courtyard. “I hope that was worth it.”

I hoped it was too. It needed to be.


	15. Shoots and Ladders

_Meanwhile, in a small second floor office..._

**_Vivi_ **

I stirred awake from the sunlight streaming in on my face, my back and neck aching from having slept on the floor. Someone had taken off my glasses for me during my sleep and tucked them into the pocket of my lab coat. Haseul, surely. I smiled to myself and slipped them back on, the room becoming clear once I could look through their lenses. Most of the others were already awake. Yerim in particular was practically buzzing about the room by that point, asking the others if they needed help with anything, if they were feeling okay, if she could help, what the plan was for the day. I sat up and felt something unfamiliar against my chest pocket. Huh?

There was a small pin there. It looked like some sort of badge. It had a little drawing on it of a pair of glasses, atop a light pink background. Interesting...

“Hey, who the hell put this on me?!” Sooyoung spoke up from the corner, where she’d slept. She staggered to her feet, pointing to what I realized was a badge similar to mine on her chest. She almost instinctively reached to rip it off, but Yerim spoke up suddenly and stopped her.

“Wait!! Don’t take it off-- erm-- please!” Yerim stepped closer, and Sooyoung surprisingly hesitated. “I-I, uh, it’s a badge! It’s um, I-I made it for you.” Sooyoung raised an eyebrow and Yerim quickly corrected herself, “For everyone! Uh, I made one for everyone.”

I looked around. Those who hadn’t been awake yet had gotten up, and I saw they all had their own badges too. I dragged myself to my feet as everyone started to wordlessly convene in the center of the room. Haseul smiled weakly at me when she saw I was awake. There were bags beneath her eyes still. I wondered if she got even a wink of sleep, or if she’d fretted too much. She’d been a bit of an insomniac even under normal circumstances, so I had no idea how that was going to translate to this disaster.

A circle had been formed, and Yerim quickly stepped into the middle. She pointed at me first, causing me to flinch slightly from all the eyes suddenly on me, “Um, Vivi, you got ‘Cleanest Glasses.’” I looked closer at the drawing and spotted a cute little sparkle on one of the cartoonish lenses. I smiled sincerely at the girl and she beamed right back at me. She seemed uncertain about this little stunt she pulled, but I was pretty sure it’d be impossible to see it as anything besides incredibly endearing.

Yerim pointed to Haseul, “Yours is ‘Best Nurse,’” Haseul’s badge had an adorable drawing of a red cross surrounded by little hearts. “Jiwoo, um, yours is ‘Best Smile,’” Ironically after the girl heard that, she grinned so wide it may’ve hurt her cheeks. Sooyoung still glared slightly at the invasion of personal space, but it was fading, and slid from her face altogether when Yerim explained what her badge meant. “And uh, you! I don’t know your name, but you earned ‘Best Driver!’” That was warranted. Sooyoung blinked twice before nodding slowly, as if in approval. “Chaewon, you get ‘Prettiest Eyes,’ I-I mean everyone here has pretty eyes but I just thought... um...” She trailed off. Chaewon blushed and looked down at the floor. “Yeojin!” Yeojin was already thoroughly examining hers when Yerim got to her, “You earned ‘Coolest Broken Nose.’” I squinted to see the design, to see it was a nose with a bandaid slapped over the bridge of it. Fitting. Haseul had in fact put a bandaid over the large bruise forming in the middle of her sister’s face.

_(fanart drawn by twitter user<https://twitter.com/milkavocado>)_

Yeojin jumped up and down briefly before pointing right back at Yerim. “Correct!! I do, in fact, have the coolest broken nose!! You, Yerim, are an intellectual, as well as a modern day Picasso.” Yeojin made sure to conduct an exaggerated bow after her small spiel. Yerim’s cheeks reddened slightly at the compliments, taking a second before continuing on with her explanation to the rest who were still confused about their homemade pins.

“Hyejoo, you earned ‘Best at Biology.’” The girl we’d picked up from the road looked at Yerim with a blank face, staring down at her patch that had a drawing of various science materials on it. “Hyunjin? I think your name was? You win ‘Strongest Fists!’” Hyunjin seemed content with that, and seemed to like the little drawing of a fist punching through a wall that was now pinned to her shirt. “Soldier girl, you got ‘Biggest Gun,’” Jungeun raised an eyebrow but said nothing, a smirk pulling subtly at the corners of her lips. “And um, you--” She pointed to the blonde who Haseul had fixed up the night before, “I don’t know your name either, but you definitely earned ‘Coolest Eye Patch.’”

The blonde smiled, still justifiably looking sort of drained, and ran her thumb gently along her badge. “Thanks. That makes me feel a little better about having to wear this... I’m Jinsol, by the way.” She extended a dainty hand toward Yerim, who enthusiastically shook it with both of hers.

Haseul stepped closer to the girl scout and rested her hand gently on her back. “Yeah, thank you Yerim. That was really sweet of you.”

“Yeah, just lovely, but I think we’ve got some more pressing issues to be considering.” Sooyoung spoke up, her direct words more than enough to pull everyone from the brief relieving levity we’d been experiencing. All eyes turned to her in an instant. “What’re we supposed to do now?”

For a few lingering moments, nobody said anything. The question wasn’t an easy one to answer. It was incredibly daunting, and whatever we decided on doing or wherever we decided on going might quite literally mean life or death. My brain started firing on absolutely all cylinders, thinking of places that might be safe, of the fastest potential routes out of the city, picking everything I’d ever known apart to try and find some way we could get out of this hellish situation without any of these girls getting hurt.

Just as I was starting to literally give myself a headache, Sooyoung spoke up again with her steady, direct voice. “We’re easier to notice as a group.”

Everyone stared at her again. Was she implying that we should split apart...?

I adjusted my glasses, feeling quite intimidated by her but daring to speak nonetheless. “Yes, but we’re more useful if we combine our efforts.”

Sooyoung scoffed slightly under her breath. “Really? _Everyone_ here’s useful?” Her harsh gaze fixed firmly on Yeojin, who’d rolled her tuba up to her side to join the circle with us. Was Sooyoung implying that we should... somehow not bring Yeojin, because she wasn’t useful? Haseul would _not_ appreciate that.

Sure enough, the nurse took an angry step forward and would’ve taken more if I hadn’t reached to grab her wrist. A sharp glare stuck out on her refined features, her nose scrunching up in that way it only did when she was genuinely angry. “Are you _seriously_ saying that--”

We shouldn’t be fighting. Not right now. We needed to be rational if we could help it, because we wouldn’t really have the luxury of debate anymore once things got dicey out there. I spoke up firmly enough to interrupt Haseul, “--Hey, let’s not... let’s just calm down. How about we take a vote? Who wants to stay as a group? At least for now?”

A few hands were raised in an instant: Yerim, Yeojin, Chaewon, and Haseul. I abstained, waiting a bit. I wanted to stay with Haseul, Yeojin, and now Yerim, obviously, but I didn’t quite know the rest of these people. I didn’t know what their goals or values were. They seemed alright enough, we’d made it here in one piece without killing each other, so that was a plus. After a few lingering moments, Jiwoo’s hand raised, and Sooyoung’s expression visibly shifted despite hers remaining down. Jungeun’s hand went up as soon as she saw Jiwoo’s. The ones that stayed down even after what must’ve been thirty seconds passed were Hyejoo and Jinsol’s, but they looked visibly conflicted. Hmm.

Hyunjin spoke up suddenly. Both of her arms had been firmly crossed - she hadn’t raised her hand either. “I don’t know you people, but I do know that Jungeun and I _are_ useful.” She wasn’t wrong. “And I also know that I have to go somewhere, and she’d promised to come with me. So if you’re all still on board with this whole ‘stay as a group’ thing, you’re coming with us.”

Oh. Her statement made the whole room go silent again. That was... pretty compelling. We weren’t really a group of fighters. Far from it. Hyunjin was clearly in the MMA, so she had more than enough experience, and Jungeun was a full blown soldier armed to the teeth. If we wanted to get out of this city alive, it’d be incredibly easier if they had our backs. It wouldn’t be _impossible_ without them, but why take the risk if we didn’t have to?

Haseul nodded, likely having a similar thought process to me. “Well, okay then. And where is it we’re going?”

“Does it matter?” Hyunjin snapped slightly. She seemed to catch herself, realizing all on her own that she’d come off as a bit too hostile and pulling it back with an answer. “I’m looking for my girlfriend. I want to go to her work, that’s where I last saw her.”

“Where’d she work? Anywhere near here?” Sooyoung spoke up again, the harshness to her tone having faded slightly. Oh? Maybe she felt some empathy for Hyunjin once she explained her motives. In truth, weren’t we all looking for someone we cared about? Most of my family was in a whole other country, so there was no easy way to check on them. I just had to hope this mess hadn’t spread that far.

Hyunjin sighed, walking past the group of us to go up to the window. She looked out at the street, but it was probably unrecognizable. “Honestly, I’m not sure. I have a vague idea of where we are, and if I’m right, then it’s like... six blocks away.” 

That wasn’t ideal, but it wasn’t totally impossible either. If we got lucky, we could get there. It didn’t sound like Hyunjin was giving us much of a choice. Even if she was trying to be cooperative now, she’d more or less threatened to take away our main form of protection if we didn’t go with her.

Haseul sighed. “Alright, well... maybe things calmed down overnight, we don’t really know until we get out there.” She’d already gently pried her wrist from my grip and had moved to the supplies she’d laid out on the desk the night before. I went to help her. Everyone else started to wordlessly gather what little belongings they had with them and convene near the door we’d barricaded.

Chaewon was trembling, probably scared to go back out there, and she dropped her bag. Its contents spilled out on the floor, and although there were some sensical supplies like canned goods and bottled water, there was also... what, were those rocks?

Jungeun stumbled a bit where she stood and stepped on one, Chaewon scrambling frantically to pick it up from beneath her boot. “Don’t, that’s Kayla!” Jungeun moved, eyebrows knitted in confusion at Chaewon’s genuine panic. The young girl quickly picked the rocks back up, Hyejoo helping her carefully.

“Wha-- are you _actually_ carrying around _rocks_?” Jungeun asked, a teasing tinge to her words. She stopped dead in her tracks and her smile slid from her face when Hyejoo suddenly shot her a piercing glare. Oh. Clearly the rest of us were missing something. I decided against asking. Once Chaewon collected all of them she just put her backpack on quickly, blushing and refusing to look at anyone. Hyejoo clasped her hand.

Regardless of whatever that had been, it was time to go. I headed toward the door as well. Jiwoo had shrugged her guitar back onto her shoulders, and she clutched a pipe I hadn’t noticed before, sticking close to Sooyoung. I knew we’d found the two together, but they couldn’t seem like further polar opposites. Yeojin seemed strangely intrigued by their relationship as well, and I was silently dreading the moment her curiosity piqued and she felt the need to vocalize it.

That moment finally came right as Haseul moved to join us. Yeojin raised an eyebrow at the pair and asked bluntly, “So Jiwoo, when’d you meet your sugar mommy?” She pointed to Sooyoung for clarification.

Sooyoung stifled a laugh. Jiwoo’s jaw dropped and she stared at the young girl in absolute disbelief, “I-? Huh??”

Haseul slapped the back of her sister’s head gently. “ _Where_ did you learn about that?!” Yeojin pouted from the abuse but didn’t provide an explanation. Haseul looked at Jiwoo and Sooyoung apologetically, “Sorry about her. Continue.”

Jiwoo raised both of her eyebrows, her face turning a beet red. “Continue what?! We--”

Jungeun cleared her throat, scowling subtly and speaking up so that strange interaction was interrupted. “Hyunjin, help me with this.” She was already getting ready to push that desk aside and open the way back outside. Back into the chaos, disaster and death. I held my pistol tightly in both hands and thought back to what I’d told Haseul the night before: “We’ll figure it out.” I prayed that was true. I prayed we’d get out of this damn place alive.

**_Jiwoo_ **

We headed back down those same steps we’d rushed up the day before, going slow. We didn’t know what it’d be like outside. There were far less sounds of car crashes, explosions and gunshots. Maybe things had calmed down? Maybe we could get to the place Hyunjin wanted to go without any brushes with death along the way? I didn’t want to hope for it, just in case that jinxed us. I stood in between Jungeun and Sooyoung, clutching the pipe and wondering if I’d be able to actually hit anything with it, or if I’d just freeze up. I wanted to protect these people and pull my own weight, like Sooyoung had rightfully told me I’d need to do the night before.

Hyunjin naturally led the way, since she was the only one who knew where we were going. She pushed the door open and we all stepped into that alley where we’d left our van. Haseul pushed past her suddenly, and her franticness prompted the rest of us to scramble out as well. As soon as we could see what she’d seen, I got why she was so upset.

The van had been totally picked apart. The tires were flat, there were bullet holes in the windshield, someone had tried to steal it but hadn’t quite been able to hotwire it properly, there was a literal dead body hanging out from the back seat. Oh no.

“Shit shit _shit_.” Haseul cursed, rushing to the driver's seat and trying her best to assess the damage.

Vivi sighed, cleaning her glasses on her lab coat for the tenth time since she’d woken up. “It’s picked clean, Haseul. Unless someone here’s a mechanic, we aren’t getting it running.” She didn’t sound pessimistic, simply realistic. There was no real point in rushing around trying to inflate slashed tires.

Jinsol stepped closer as well, examining the vehicle. “I mean... I’m a mechanical engineering student, but I can’t do anything about flat tires without a pump.”

Jungeun raised an eyebrow. “Mechanical engineering, huh?” She sounded impressed.

Jinsol glared playfully. “What, thought I was just a pretty face?”

Jungeun chuckled under her breath, her cheeks turning a bright pink, but she didn’t answer. This wasn’t really the time for banter. Vivi spoke up again. I wasn’t sure if it was just because she wore glasses, but she seemed really smart to me. “Alright. Pretty sure everyone’s noticed the lack of pure chaos on the streets, but we shouldn’t get too comfortable. We don’t know how the infected work yet. We haven’t even seen any of them in daylight. I’d say that for now, since we obviously have to walk, we focus on staying quiet. If the infected don’t see or hear us, based on what we know they won’t come after us either.”

That all made sense, and the certainty in her voice made me feel a lot better about our situation. _I_ certainly didn’t have my own emotions under control enough to make plans, but as long as someone in this group did, we should be alright. There were some nods and murmurs of agreement amongst the others, and Haseul spoke up.

“Hyunjin, lead the way. Everyone else,” She pointed straight at Yeojin, who feigned surprise and offense. “Stay _quiet_.” The young girl opened her mouth, as if to protest, but Yerim wrapped her arm around her shoulders, which was surprisingly enough to stop her outburst.

Hyunjin nodded before wordlessly heading past the dumpster barricade we’d made and back onto the main road. I didn’t like being so exposed. Without walls on either side of us, anyone could see. Sure, the chaos had died down, but the aftermath was almost even more unsettling. Have you ever seen what’s normally a bustling city street just... empty? It doesn’t feel right. Crashed cars had been left abandoned, some with dead drivers still behind the wheel. A bunch of fires burned away in distant buildings. Bullets and corpses and broken glass and blood scattered the pavement. I did my best to avoid stepping on any bodies.

Jungeun clasped my hand tightly and I jumped slightly in surprise. She moved to whisper in my ear, “Keep your eyes on me,” in a comfortingly familiar tone that made my chest feel warm. I just nodded. She didn’t want me witnessing all this bloodshed and gore, but it was hard not to look. She let me go so she could better hold her rifle, and I realized I was shaking. I clung harder to my pipe, feeling a bit more at ease when I remembered Sooyoung was still behind me.

“It’s so quiet...” Chaewon muttered somewhere from behind me once we’d re-entered an alleyway. I think we were all collectively uncomfortable with being on the roads like that, whether there were infected visibly there or not. It was just... unnerving. I looked over my shoulder at her. I could tell she was scared, but also like she was trying to save face.

Hyejoo had her arm linked with Chaewon’s, and she shushed her gently. Yerim spun in front of me to look at the two of them as well. “When things get better, I’m gonna help clean up the city! Gosh it’s gonna be hard, but Girl Scout Law Code #6: - a girl scout loves nature and respects all living things!” She spoke in an enthusiastic though hushed voice. I raised an eyebrow at the rule she’d just recited from memory. Was that a thing she did? Haseul and her little gang didn’t even flinch from it.

Chaewon suddenly pulled herself from Hyejoo’s grip, seeming to distress the girl as she rushed forward to be at Hyunjin’s side. She spoke up as soon as she was in earshot. “Hey, I know the area pretty well. Where did your girlfriend work?” Hyunjin mumbled something so quietly I couldn’t hear it from the distance I was at, and Chaewon’s eyes lit up. “Oh! The one right between the laundromat and that big tall building?” Hyunjin nodded. “We’re way closer than you thought we were, but um, we’re going the wrong way.”

The whole group stopped in its tracks just as Hyunjin did, and she questioned Chaewon. “How do you know that? Everything’s gone to shit, most of the street signs were knocked down.”

Chaewon raised her hands in slight defense. “I-I just, it’s my job? I’m a delivery girl so I... know where everything is, that’s all. Look,” She pointed toward an alley that branched off the one we were currently in. We would’ve passed it if we hadn’t stopped. “This one’s the right way. You almost had it.” She didn’t sound condescending in the slightest, her bright tone actually made her sound encouraging, but Hyunjin wasn’t quite taking it that way. She frowned, letting Chaewon lead the way now but sticking close behind since the girl didn’t have any weapon besides a tiny screwdriver.

This alley went on for a bit before letting back out onto a main road. Hyejoo caught up to Chaewon and stuck right behind her, the two seeming to be joined at the hip. Chaewon was doing her best to stick to alleyways and shortcuts, which was smart of her. She really did know the city. But she couldn’t have possibly predicted the gunshots that would’ve fired from down the street as soon as we got to roughly the middle of the road.

Bullets slammed into the pavement at our feet, one of them taking off a side view mirror of a nearby car and nearly skimming me. I yelped but clamped my hand firmly over my own mouth, knowing we were supposed to be quiet. But those gunshots were _loud_.

Jungeun pulled me down with her and held me close for a second as we took cover behind a nearby car, the bullets not stopping. They sounded like they were coming from an assault rifle, sort of like how it’d sounded when Jungeun had shot at Sooyoung and I the night before. Speaking of which, Sooyoung was at my opposite side behind this car, glaring at whoever had decided to open fire on us. The others took cover behind nearby things too, most of it being other vehicles, but we definitely weren’t safe here.

“Who’s shooting?!” Sooyoung asked Jungeun, needing to raise her voice slightly to be heard over all the shots.

Jungeun poked her head up slightly to get a better look through the car’s window. “It’s just a soldier. He’s taking cover behind a bunch of sandbags, I can’t really see him... he’s probably paranoid that we’re infected or something, but couldn’t he tell we weren’t? Fucking dumbass...” She stared for a bit longer, eyes narrowed, assessing the situation. “His aim’s all over the place. If he’d really wanted he could’ve picked us all off, but he missed everybody. Those shots are loud, he’s gonna draw infected from all over the fucking city.”

She was right. We couldn’t just say here, trapped like sitting ducks. I looked to Chaewon, who was incredibly rattled, she and Hyejoo clinging to each other for dear life. Jungeun looked at her too, since she’d become our guide, and the scared girl pointed to an alleyway opening not too far off. Probably a short run away.

Jungeun spoke up, shouting as loud as she could to try and be heard over the relentless clips of ammunition this soldier was unleashing into the side of our car. “Hey!! _You’re luring infected straight to us!!_ ** _Stop shooting!!_** _”_ Despite the desperate, pleading nature to her voice, it didn’t matter. He was far off, and if it was loud for us at this distance, the gunfire must be deafening for him. He didn’t hear. Honestly, even if he had, I doubted he’d comply. If he was shaken up enough to shoot at people who were clearly human, who’s to say he’d believe us if we tried to be rational?

“He can’t hear you.” Sooyoung told her plainly, already looking around actively for a different option. It didn’t help that we’d all gotten semi-separated to different spots for cover and couldn’t directly communicate.

I looked back toward the alleyway Chaewon had pointed toward and saw her eyeing it again. I knew she was considering running for it, and I understood why. It was distant, but I heard what sounded like a terrifying uproar of growls and predatory screaming. That was the infected, no doubt. Wherever they’d been before, they were coming here now, and we were right out in the open. Oh no. I felt a familiar panic gripping at my chest that made it hard to breathe and made me just want to _run_ somewhere, anywhere that wasn’t here.

“If he hits a gas tank of one of these cars, we’re all done for.” Jungeun tried to awkwardly aim her rifle over the hood of the car we were behind, but quickly drew back. “I can’t get a good shot on him. He’s hiding behind those damn bags like a little bitch.”

My heart was beating fast. We didn’t have time to think or debate. We needed to think of something else, _fast_.

Jungeun seemed to share that thought, and she nodded wordlessly at Chaewon, who understood without needing any further prompting. She took a few seconds to pace herself, before she finally grabbed onto Hyejoo’s arm and made a break for the alley. I held my breath as I watched them, running alongside Hyunjin and Yerim who’d been taking cover with the two. I almost couldn’t look. The bullets moved from pummeling our car and instead shifted to the small gap between their cover and the sanctuary of that alleyway, and I instinctively clutched onto Jungeun’s arm, _terrified_ that someone would get hurt, but he’d been too late. All his shots missed. The girls ducked safely into that alley, panting, Chaewon visibly shaken and Hyejoo looking like she might pass out.

It was our turn. We were in the middle. Jungeun turned to look at me, resting her hand on my cheek so I’d meet her eyes. “Stick close to me. Alright? Stay _safe._ ” Her thumb brushed gently along my skin once, the contact steadying me ever so slightly. Her intense gaze flitted to Sooyoung for a moment, and I wasn’t sure why.

In the next moment, Jungeun ducked quickly to the car Chaewon and them had hidden behind, and we followed. There were only small gaps between the sections of cover, thankfully, so he barely saw us heading to the next one. Jungeun looked at the last cluster of our group - consisting of Haseul, Vivi, Yeojin and Jinsol - and gestured for them to swap to our old cover. We were slowly but surely making our way across this damned road, but I felt like he was getting frustrated and his aim was only getting better as time wore on.

Unfortunately, I was right. When the others quickly rushed across the distance to the car we’d been behind, those bullets slammed into the pavement again. Haseul had gone last, and when the gunfire moved toward them, she shoved Yeojin forward hard and dove into cover. She was fine, right? I looked closely and noticed that the leg of her scrubs had been torn from a bullet, and it was bleeding. Oh _no_.

“Haseul?!” Sooyoung shouted over to her, the slightest edge of genuine concern audible in her voice. “You okay?!”

The nurse winced through her teeth, Vivi already fretting over her. “I-It’s fine! Just a flesh wound!!” I wasn’t sure if she was downplaying it or not. She was a nurse, were nurses allowed to lle? Why would she lie - so we wouldn’t worry? Now wasn’t really the time, we needed to treat that. I could see the strain behind her eyes, the pain she was actively trying to keep from showing through. “Keep going!”

Jungeun cursed under her breath. “His aim’s getting better. Asshole.” She looked back at Sooyoung and I. “I dunno if Haseul can walk. I’m gonna help her quick, but I want you two to run. Okay?” It was hard for her to leave me, but we both knew Haseul’s group probably needed more protection than we did right now.

I didn’t know if I could run. Honestly, my whole body had tensed up as soon as I’d seen Haseul get hurt. For some reason it made this seem more real - we were in serious danger. If his aim was getting better, what prevented him from shooting one of us right in the gut? Or the head? You couldn’t treat a shot to the head. Not even Haseul could, who was apparently the “Best Nurse,” according to Yerim.

Before rushing off to help and be brave when I felt like more of a coward than I ever had in my life, Jungeun leaned forward and placed a firm kiss on the top of my head. She whispering softly enough for me to hear, “Be _careful_.” Her thumb brushed lightly against my cheek again before she got to her feet and rushed across that small gap, getting to the others without a scratch on her, thank god. I was in a daze.

Sooyoung shook me gently and I blinked hard. “Hey. C’mon. We’ve got to run, alright?” She poked her head slightly over the hood of the car we were behind, likely checking to see if the coast was clear. I just wanted to run and get this over with, to be out of the line of fire, to be safe in that alley with Hyunjin and all them.

So, using that small burst of sudden motivation, I ran.

I rushed across the gap, taking one step, two, and I was almost there. I heard Sooyoung’s voice behind me, frantic, “Jiwoo, _wait_ \--”

A bullet slammed into the pavement right at my feet and I jumped, trying not to let it distract me, but I was so _scared._ I froze like a deer in headlights, and I should’ve died. I really _really_ should’ve been shot, right then and there, but a pair of arms wrapped tightly around my waist and before I knew it I’d been tackled to the ground of the alley.

I fell hard to the pavement, along with whoever’s arms were still wrapped around me, but I was safe. I almost couldn’t process it - that I’d gotten out of that alive somehow. I turned my head to see Sooyoung’s face inches from mine. My cheeks warmed as I struggled to find my breath.

After a few lingering moments of eye contact, she drew away, pulling me gently into a sitting position. “You okay?” Her voice was weak and soft, already looking me up and down, checking for any sort of wounds.

“I-I...” I wouldn’t claim to necessarily be “okay,” but I was alive, and I absolutely owed that to her. “Yeah...”

She nodded, brushing some dirt from my sweater before getting to her feet. I couldn’t quite stand yet. My legs felt like jelly. I just sat there and watched as Jungeun slung Haseul’s arm across her shoulder and skillfully rushed between cover. Yeojin stumbled, nearly tripping while they were out in the open. My next breath got caught in my throat, but Jungeun somehow seemed to predict it before it could happen. She tightly clasped the girl’s wrist, pulling her close against her side so she was forced to keep up. I was so incredibly out of it from almost dying that I couldn’t even feel the full extent of my fear anymore. By nothing short of a miracle and sheer luck, they all got to us without another scrape.

Haseul shrugged Jungeun away. “I said I’m _fine_.” The blood from her leg had started to trail further down her calf, staining her scrubs. “I can walk by myself, I swear.”

Jungeun shook her head. “We need to treat that, but we don’t have time right now. Chaewon--” She turned to her suddenly and the small girl jumped in surprise, wrenching her grip on Hyejoo’s arm. “--Lead the way, we need to get out of here.”

The soldier was still shooting, but when I peered out down the road, I realized he didn’t seem to care about us anymore. Instead he was unleashing his clips into a _horde_ of infected. God, there were so _many_. More than I’d ever seen before, flocking to the sound. And although yeah, the gun was louder, we weren’t well hidden enough. A chunk of that endless horde spotted us and made a beeline in our direction. Oh no.

“ _Go._ ” Jungeun jostled the young girl, needing her to _move_ , and the contact was enough to snap her out of it.

**_Chaewon_ **

I was terrified. Almost paralyzed by primal fear, but the adrenaline and the danger we were in got me to move. Hyejoo was clinging to me tightly. Her eyes had that same panic behind them that they’d gotten when she’d broken down in tears when that infected almost killed her. Now wasn’t the time for her to lose it like that, but I also couldn’t give her the attention or comfort she needed. I just had to pray that she didn’t freeze up, that she could keep up with me. Her wide eyes stared dead ahead and I could feel the way she was shaking.

I rushed forward, knowing that the restaurant Hyunjin’s girlfriend worked at was still a block or so away. This alley branched off into two separate paths. One was a dead end, and the other led out onto a main road. I headed for the latter, hearing everyone at my heels but also not oblivious to the sounds of those infected closing in. 

Right as we got to the end of the alley, the way was blocked. One infected, then three, then what seemed like infinitely more burst into view from the road. They were coming straight for us. We had nowhere to go. Oh no. We were sandwiched. Was this my fault? Had I just led us to our own deaths?

No, no no, we could still try and head down the other path. It was a dead end, but it might be something. It sort of had to be. I wracked my brain, pulling up the mental map I had of the city and analyzing it as thoroughly as I could in a split second, already turning and rushing down that dead end. The others followed me, not having any idea of where to go. They were relying on me. I had to protect them, or it’d be my fault.

It was a dead end, but I knew that. Okay, so I had like less than four seconds to consider our options here. There was a ladder, it led to the roof. Could the infected climb, though? If that guy kept shooting, maybe they’d be drawn away from us if we went up there. There was also a door that lead inside the building. If I remembered right, it was some sort of apartment complex. Besides that, the only other things in this alley were a big dumpster and some graffiti.

**_Jungeun_ **

“Up the ladder!!” Chaewon literally grabbed Hyejoo’s hands and forcibly placed them onto the rungs. It seemed necessary, the panicked looking girl still visibly reluctant to get far from Chaewon. “Go, I’ll be up in a second.” Chaewon muttered to her gently, forcibly pushing her to climb. She did, though she was shaky and slow.

This would take too long. Waiting for everyone to get up would be cutting it too close. I spotted the dumpster against the wall of the alley and thought back to how we’d used one as a barricade before. Not letting myself even waste a second on thinking, I rushed toward it and started to push. It was lighter than the last one because it was empty, but I still couldn’t quite move it fast enough on my own. “Hyunjin!”

She was there in a heartbeat, rushing forward and helping to tilt the dumpster to slightly block the alley’s entrance from the wave of infected coming our way. I glanced back at the ladder. Everyone was heading up. Yeojin was lugging something along, and Vivi went up after her, visibly annoyed. Jiwoo was already up, thank god. Haseul was lingering, wanting to make sure others got up before she did, and Chaewon hovered by the base - helping others up if they needed it.

The infected turned the corner into the alley and plowed hard into the dumpster, too stupid to go around at first. That wouldn’t last. We only had a few more seconds. Haseul mounted the ladder and started to climb, wincing but going just as fast as everyone else had. Chaewon glanced at Hyunjin and I before climbing as well.

“ _Go_.” I told Hyunjin firmly. She nodded, not hesitating for even a second and instead rushing toward that ladder. As soon as her foot got onto the bottom rung, I rushed forward too, one of the infected already having found its way around the edge of the dumpster and clutching my shirt with its jagged nails. I rammed the butt of my rifle into its face and its grip loosened just enough for me to get to that damn ladder, clasping the rungs and climbing as fast as I could.

Even then, it wasn’t fast enough. I got off the ground, only to feel one of them grab firmly onto my foot. I kicked as hard as I could, but it pulled down hard on my leg and I almost lost my grip on the rungs. Shit. Why did they have to be so strong? I kicked again, desperately, looking down so I could aim better and thankfully slamming my boot straight into its face. It fell, and I finally climbed the rest of the way.


	16. Breather

**_Jungeun_ **

As soon as I neared the top, Jiwoo’s hands clasped both of mine and she pulled me up the rest of the way. She wrapped me in her arms and clung so tight I almost couldn’t breathe. I hugged her back instantly, realizing only once I felt how desperately she held onto me that I’d almost just died. I’d gotten practically desensitized to it by this point, but if I’d fumbled, if another one of them had grabbed my other leg, they would’ve pulled me straight down into that alley, and I’d have been done for. Jiwoo was forced to just watch, terrified, which must’ve been so hard, but I’d felt the same way when I’d needed to help Haseul and leave her with Sooyoung.

“Is everyone up? Everyone’s okay, right? Please tell me everyone’s okay.” Chaewon’s frantic, rushed voice pulled me out of my train of thought, and I drew away from Jiwoo to look at her. She was hovering near the ledge, staring down at the infected who couldn’t quite figure out how to climb. Hyejoo walked over to her and wrapped her arms loosely around her middle from behind, the blonde still visibly stiff as a statue, eyes wide.

I got to my feet. “I’m fine.” I looked over at Hyunjin, who was doing her best to catch her breath. “Hyunjin’s fine,” When my eyes moved to Haseul and I saw her sitting down, Vivi at her side, I remembered she was injured. “We’ve gotta help Haseul, but... Chae, you did a good job. Everyone got up here in one piece, alright?” I told her, feeling like she seriously needed that reassurance. I’d put a lot of pressure on her to lead the way, and I knew that, but it’d been necessary and she’d done a good job despite it all.

Haseul reached to pull the leg of her scrubs up, tying the fabric it tightly around her knee so that the wound was fully exposed. It was still bleeding a bit. I headed over to her, examining where the shot had hit. Surprisingly enough, she hadn’t been lying: it really was just a flesh wound, the bullet had gone straight through. It looked like it definitely stung, but it was relatively small. Damn I really couldn’t believe how lucky we’d gotten.

“Vivi, get the supplies.” I told the flustered girl as I gently clasped Haseul’s calf. The nurse winced slightly, but simply clenched her fists to cope. I met her eyes, Vivi nodding in my peripheral vision and rushing off to grab what we had. Yerim had been carrying them, if I remembered right.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Haseul suddenly grabbed my hand, speaking to me in a rushed, low tone. “Jungeun, I need you to promise me something.”

I raised an eyebrow at her urgency. “What?”

“You saved Yeojin back there.” I glanced at the young girl. She was with Yerim, chatting, seeming frankly unbothered as she trailed her fingers along what I think was some sort of instrument case. Was it a tuba...? Haseul tightened her grip on me so our gazes met again. “I want you to look out for her.”

This all seemed awfully dramatic. “Haseul, your leg’s really not that bad. You’ll be able to--”

“I know, that’s not what I mean. I’m not a fighter. I’ll do my best, but... look, she needs it. I want you to promise me - if it ever comes between me and her - help her. Okay?” She wasn’t kidding. Her tone was deadly serious. Oh. My face fell.

“Um...”

She sat more upright, looking at me with her piercing eyes. “Don’t even think about it. Just help her. Keep her safe.”

I blinked hard, rattled by the magnitude of the selfless request she was making and not quite sure how I should respond to it. I tried to weigh the pros and cons briefly, but my brain was having a hard time. “You’re a nurse, we--”

She cut me off, predicting my response and not wanting to hear it. “Don’t pull any of that ‘I’m more useful than her’ shit or I’ll fucking slap you.” My eyes widened at the sudden vulgarity. “Keep. Her. Safe. Please. I helped Jinsol for you, you can help Yeojin for me.”

My brow furrowed. What did she think my connection to Jinsol was? We sure as hell weren’t sisters. “Jinsol and I aren’t--”

She didn’t let me finish. She was frantic. It seemed like she wanted to get all this out before Vivi came back. I glanced over. Yerim looked like she was holding her up, asking her something. “I don’t care what you two are or aren’t. And I’m not trying to sound like a bitch, I just...” My attention was drawn back to her when her voice broke. Her eyes were glossy. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to her. I’d never forgive myself, she’s just a _kid_ , Jungeun.”

I edged closer, lowering my voice to a whisper too. “Hey, don’t...” I brushed my thumb along the back of her hand, her skin surprisingly soft and smooth. This was... a lot. I’d never seen someone be this selfless before. Part of me thought at first that there was some sort of ulterior motive behind it, but that’d been my pessimism talking. Haseul was just genuinely that nice. I couldn’t help but admire it, despite it being bordering on reckless. It was like that thought hadn’t even crossed her mind. Like her own life, her own wellbeing, didn’t even matter to her, and all she cared about was her little sister. It was heartwarming, in a morbid sort of way. Either way I admired it, and I was glad Haseul was with us. “I’ll watch out for her if I can. Okay?”

That wasn’t enough for her, though. Vivi was heading back. Haseul tightened her grip on me firmly, so much that it nearly hurt. “Promise me.”

God, I’d been making an awful lot of weighty promises lately. I met her eyes again, staring deeply into them, trying to analyze how she’d respond if I _didn’t_ make this promise. She was desperate. Just wanting to make sure her sister was safe and protected. It’d be a daunting task, but I’d do my best.

“I... I promise.” I made my words quiet, because Vivi knelt down next to us again, the supplies in her thin arms. Haseul just nodded at me in silent thanks, squeezing my hand before releasing it. Why did she want to keep that conversation from Vivi...? There was a lot I didn’t know about these people, but I was particularly curious about Haseul and Vivi’s relationship. There was definitely something there, I just couldn’t quite tell what it was yet.

Regardless, now wasn’t really the time. I took the disinfectant from Vivi’s hand’s and put some on a small cotton swab, meeting Haseul’s eyes to make sure she was prepared for the stinging before gently applying the liquid to her wound. She grimaced but stayed quiet. Vivi handed me a fairly sizeable bandaid with strawberries all over it. Really? Whatever, it’d get the job done. I stuck it gently onto the wound, glad to see it covered most if not all of it. Haseul pushed the leg of her scrubs back down.

There was a weight on my shoulders now that hadn’t been there before. It was because of that promise. Did the promise I’d made to Hyunjin take precedence over this one? Or what? What if I couldn’t keep both at the same time? Who would be more angry if I broke their promise? My head started to hurt. I’d already felt responsible enough for Jinsol and what’d happened to her, but the longer I hung around these people the more connected I felt to all of them. I glanced down at my chest, at the pin still there that Yerim had made for me. Nobody had taken theirs off, not even Sooyoung, who seemed way too cold for something so sentimental and childish.

I’d found Jiwoo. In all honesty, my priority should’ve just been keeping her safe and getting the two of us out of there alive, but now...? It was so much more complicated than that. Yeojin was just some annoying little kid way to young to be faced with all this, Yerim was indescribably precious, Haseul was unbelievably selfless and had saved Jinsol’s life when she definitely didn’t have to, Chaewon was young too but still so bright somehow, Hyejoo was so scared it seemed like she could barely move sometimes, Vivi was some sort of scientist so she may be the most valuable of all of us, Hyunjin was preoccupied but her morals were solid and she’d saved a lot of lives, and Jinsol was... I dunno. Jinsol was Jinsol. I looked over at her. She was talking to Yerim, a gentle hand on the girl scout’s shoulder as she spoke softly. I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of it, for some reason. God, this was bad. I shouldn’t be feeling so damn attached. But I couldn’t help it.

What was I getting myself into?

**_Hyejoo_ **

I still held Chae loosely in my arms, not liking the way she kept shaking. I gently pulled her away from that ledge. Staring down at those things wouldn’t help anything. She spun in my grasp to look at me once we were more in the center of the roof, staring up at me with big eyes. “A-Are you okay?” Her voice was small.

I couldn’t believe she was asking me that, after everything she’d just gone through and how visibly rattled she was. “Are _you_ okay?”

She blinked hard, her eyes getting glossy. “I-I... was just really scared...”

I’d almost frozen. When she’d told me to go up that ladder without her, I damn near couldn’t do it, but I’d forced myself to. Something about seeing her so determined and brave was enough to make it spread to me. She made me feel stronger, like I could actually get through things that I would’ve totally succumbed to had I been on my own. I owed her a lot more than I think she understood, and there was no way in hell I’d ever be able to express it properly in words to her. It seemed like she was beating herself up about being scared, which didn’t make any sense. If she hadn’t directed us this way, we would’ve been done for. She’d saved us. She should be proud, not sad or disappointed in herself. Anyone would’ve been scared. We all were.

“I was scared too.” I told her weaky, staring right into those eyes. “But you didn’t seem scared. You were fast and smart and you knew where to go.” It’d honestly been so impressive. Hyunjin would’ve gotten us lost if Chae hadn’t spoken up.

She reached forward, loosely grasping onto my hoodie just like she had back in that locker earlier. “It was too close. I-I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that again, what if everyone keeps relying on me? What if I mess up, what if someone gets hurt because I-I went the wrong way or forgot something was a dead end or thought a building was some other building and--” Tears clung to her eyelashes and she rambled on and on.

“Shh.” I pulled her closer and she hid her face in my shoulder, her words stopping with a sharp inhale.

“Hyejoo...” Her voice was weak and it broke. My heart wrenched.

“Shh.” I didn’t know what else to tell her, because honestly? We probably were going to need to rely on her again. That wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but I didn’t want to lie either. “You did a really good job, you were brave, and you helped us.”

“N-no, I’m not brave, Hyejoo, I-I’m _so_ not brave--”

“--Shh. Just... shh.” Surprisingly, comforting her like this made the panic that’d lingered at the top of my chest start to fade away. It used to be so hard to get it to leave. Sometimes at school I’d have to go the bathroom just to try and collect myself, even the nurse if it got too bad, and it’d take hours. But with Chaewon, if I felt like I needed to keep her safe or reassure her, I didn’t even think about panicking anymore. That was the furthest thing from my mind. I just held her to me as she tried to steady her breathing, not knowing what else to say. She didn’t say anything else either. I guess we didn’t need to.

**_Jiwoo_ **

I stood on that rooftop, still emotionally reeling from everything that’d just happened in the course of less than five minutes. Haseul had been shot, I’d come so close to death my heart was still beating at twice the speed, Jungeun nearly died right in front of me and I had no choice but to helplessly watch, Sooyoung had saved my life _again_. The world was crazy now. So much could happen so fast, so much could change irreversibly and you had to be ready for that or you’d get left in the dust. I had to learn to adapt, or I’d fall behind. And... falling behind could literally mean dying now. I’d never been good with change. A cold wind blew past me and I clutched instinctively at the coat I still wore, remembering that it was Sooyoung’s when I felt how high quality the fabric was.

I looked over at her. She had her arms crossed, staring down at the gravel of the rooftop with a blank face. Jungeun was busy helping Haseul, so I decided against talking to her or hugging her for two hours just to make 100% sure she was safe (which is what I wanted to do). So instead, I slowly walked to Sooyoung, that familiar gratitude swelling in my chest with each step I took. I didn’t even want to call it gratitude, it felt like more than that. Gratitude was something you felt when someone held the door open for you or returned your wallet after you’d lost it, not when someone saved your life. This feeling went beyond simple gratitude.

“You saved me again...” I spoke as soon as I was close enough, my voice quiet. I wasn’t sure why but I didn’t quite want anyone eavesdropping on us. Thankfully Sooyoung had already walked a bit away from everyone else.

She glanced at me, unsurprised at my approach. “Yeah.”

“Thank you.” This seemed almost routine now. But what was I supposed to do, _not_ thank her when she literally saved my life?

She shook her head slightly. “You don’t have to keep doing that.” I raised an eyebrow at her and she met my eyes. “I’m not... going out of my way or anything. I was heading the same way as you and I just grabbed you. That’s all.”

She was downplaying it. I didn’t get why. Did she not want me to be thankful for her? “You didn’t have to grab me, though, and you did--”

She cut me off, “--Yeah. Sure. What’re you getting at?” She sounded defensive, almost.

I flinched slightly, confused, “Nothing? I just want to thank you.”

Her defensiveness started to fade, and the faintest trace of a smile came to her face, though it seemed a bit forced. From what I could tell, she just didn’t like me showing gratitude. I didn’t want to make her feel awkward or anything, so I guess I’d stop...? But I didn’t want to. I felt like she deserved recognition for how brave she’d been. A lot of people would’ve just watched me stand there, frozen in the line of fire, but she didn’t. She got me out of the way, made sure I was okay. I didn’t care how trivial and thoughtless she made it sound, it was brave, and I was grateful for that. For her.

“Well, you’re welcome.” She muttered that, stepping slightly closer. She seemed content to just stand there with me. The feeling was mutual. We didn’t say anything else for a while. I kicked aimlessly at the gravel at our feet, my mind wandering. A blush came to my cheeks when I thought of something.

Without considering the implications, I just brought it up, realizing midway through my statement that I probably shouldn’t have. “Ha, I can’t _believe_ Yeojin thought you were my- what did she say? My ‘sugar mommy?’” Sooyoung chuckled slightly under her breath, and I giggled along with her. “God, she’s so... ha, she’s...” Why was I blushing? I felt the warmth flooding my cheeks. I shouldn’t have mentioned this, what was I thinking?

Sooyoung shrugged. “I mean, she wasn’t totally wrong.”

I froze up. Had I heard that right? “Wh- I-I uh, what do you mean?”

She didn’t miss a beat, staring down at her shoes. “If things weren’t so chaotic right now, I would’ve laid the offer on the table as soon as I saw you.”

My heart skipped a beat. Huh?? “I-I-I don’t... um... uhhh....” My face must’ve been beet red by that point.

She reached up with her delicate fingers to gently push on my chin, closing my mouth. I hadn’t even realized my jaw had dropped. “Hey, relax. Now’s not exactly the time. But I mean, I have money, and you’re damn adorable.”

She... she was kidding, wasn’t she? Oh, this was all just a big joke. My shoulders untensed. I was dumb, I shouldn’t have taken this so seriously, of course she was joking. I laughed hollowly again, glaring playfully at her to try and show that I understood now, “You’re just teasing me aren’t you?”

“No.”

My heart leapt straight back into my throat. She _wasn’t_ kidding...? “I--? You think you’d have to pay me...?”

Something changed behind her eyes. She looked almost... curious? “I’m just saying I wouldn’t mind showering you in gifts...” One of her perfectly arched eyebrows raised at me. “What’re _you_ saying?”

I blinked dumbly at her, “Sooyoung... I don’t need you to buy me things...” I was barely even sure what I was saying. I didn’t let myself overthink it. My blush was so intense I could feel it spreading to my neck, but I forced the words out anyway. For some reason I just... felt like she needed to hear it. “I... I mean, I-I don’t need money or things to want to uh... spend time with... you?” I spoke haltingly, not even sure what I was implying. I was just... talking. It was coming from somewhere, I just wasn’t sure where...

Sooyoung blinked twice, her brow furrowing, and she tilted her head at me. “I...? What?” She seemed confused. “I-I wasn’t... um...” Was she embarrassed? She cleared her throat, and her usual disposition returned in an instant. “What do you mean by ‘spend time?’”

I felt my stomach do a little flip. My heart almost stopped. “U-Uh--” If she was implying what I thought she might’ve been, there was no way I’d be able to respond or function in the slightest, so... I was gonna pretend that wasn’t what she meant. “I just think... I think you’re nice, and you don’t have to buy my affec-- um-- my feelin-- uh, my time.” I felt like this was coming out wrong, but I didn’t want to say that I had... “affection” for her. It wasn’t like... I _didn’t_ have affection for her, I guess? I mean...? I cared about her, I worried about her wellbeing in all of this, I didn’t want her to get hurt and she was nice to me and made me feel safe and she was brave and pretty and-- uh. I pursed my lips. _Let’s... not think about that_. I told myself in my head, shutting those thoughts down. “I wouldn’t mind just... being around you, a-and you wouldn’t have to give me gifts for it.”

She wasn’t looking at me anymore, instead staring down at her feet and fiddling with her fingers. “I... guess.” She still seemed confused.

What was so confusing about this...? Was she used to buying people things just so they’d spend time with her? Had nobody ever told her that they didn’t need compensation for it? If that was the case, I... didn’t like that. Sooyoung was nice. She was sweet, even. I mean, sometimes she seemed cold or standoffish, but a cold person wouldn’t have saved my life so many times, or hugged me like she had back in that alley after that man attacked me. She wasn’t cold, I’d even say she was warm, actually, and she made me feel protected. I could tell she cared, so I cared too.

“Hey... when things go back to normal, maybe we can go to the park or something?” I asked her gently, not liking how confused she was getting and the implications of that confusion. If people hadn’t been nice enough to spend time with her without some sort of compensation, that was sad. That made _me_ sad. I didn’t like to think about that. I wished I’d met her sooner, before all this, so I could’ve spent time with her without her feeling like she had to pay me for it. “Oh, or actually, I know this place right off my campus, they’ve got these _great_ milkshakes, and they have pretty decorations, and the staff is really nice and-- oh--” I stopped my rambling when she suddenly pulled me close, wrapping her arms around me loosely. “Oh, uh...” I couldn’t help the way my eyes widened or my blush deepened, or keep back the small smile that made its way to my face. I felt her kiss the side of my head ever so slightly and my chest fluttered, my smile widening.

“That’d be really nice.” She let me go as quickly as she’d grabbed me, taking a step back, as if that hug had never even happened in the first place. “It’s a date, then... you’re letting me buy your milkshake, though.” She wasn’t gonna take no for an answer, I could tell from her tone. Fine, a milkshake would be okay. But nothing else.

I chuckled weakly. “Yeah...” My mind couldn’t help but wander to a bleaker place than it tended to. I wasn’t used to that, but it was hard to be optimistic now. I had no idea how Yerim was doing it. “Do you think it’ll happen...?” She glanced at me, not understanding. “I mean, do you think things’ll go back to normal eventually...?” It was wishful thinking. I knew that, but if we didn’t cling to some sort of hope, what was the point?

She sighed, the question seeming to weigh on her. “Honestly? I think the city’s done for. But who knows? Maybe there's other places besides here that are safe and normal, where they got it under control before it could get like this.” That was as hopeful as she was going to get, and it’d have to be enough for me.

“Yeah. Maybe they’ll have milkshake places, too.” I told her, my smile fading to a faint, small thing. She reached to clasp my hand and squeezed it once. It was gentle and soft, and now, more than practically anything else, I was looking forward to that milkshake.

**_Vivi_ **

Those gunshots kept on sounding, but they started to move further down the road, as if that damned soldier was running away. I didn’t plan on leaving Haseul’s side, but I wondered if the sound drew the infected from the ladder, which seemed like our only way back down. Hyunjin had been standing by the ledge, keeping a diligent eye out, and she came over toward the middle of the roof - speaking up slightly so everyone could hear.

“Guys, it looks like all those shots are getting those things’ attention.” We all looked at her. “I’d say we give it a few minutes. The further he leads them away from us, the better, and they’re too stupid to come back here on their own unless we make noise. So just stay quiet and stay put, we’re gonna wait it out a bit.” With that, she sat down, looking like she definitely needed to take a breather. For some reason having her tell us that we had permission to relax a bit made me feel indescribably at ease.

I sighed heavily, rubbing at my temples. A headache was forming behind my eyes. “God I’d kill a man for a smoke right now.”

Haseul chuckled weakly, sitting up straighter. “You quit, though?”

I let out a small laugh too, remembering the little spats we’d get into whenever I’d light a cigarette around her and she’d pummel me with statistics about how unhealthy it was. I’d stopped just for her, and thankfully it’d stuck. “I’m kind of stressed out, believe it or not.”

She cocked a playful eyebrow at me, the two of us falling into our old banter effortlessly and naturally. “You? Stressed out? Unheard of.” I met her eyes, those eyes I’d gotten so used to staring into. But... I couldn’t help my gaze from flitting down to the blood stain on her leg. I remembered how absolutely petrified I’d been when that bullet hit her. How my chest had gotten so tight and my breaths so short I’d nearly fainted.

I shut my eyes, not liking the way they’d started to sting, and I clasped her hand again. She intertwined our fingers together immediately, the contact like muscle memory for both of us. She was shaky, but I was too. “Really, though... I thought I told you to be careful.” That was supposed to sound scolding, but more than anything it just reflected how scared I was. How worried I was about her, and how absolutely 10000% not okay I was with her getting hurt even in the slightest.

Haseul trailed her thumb gently along the back of my hand. “I... I was _trying_ to be careful.” She sounded frustrated at her inability to stay out of harm’s way. Most of the time, she was way too hard on herself. I struggled with that too, and ironically we both discouraged each other from doing it, but never got much better. 

I brought her hand to my lips, lightly kissing the back of it and whispering to her softly. “That was too close okay? Just... be _extra_ careful.” It was a hollow request, something not really in her control. But I wasn’t sure what else to say. 

Her cheeks lit with a slight blush. “That’s uh, easier said than done.”

I frowned, having a hard time meeting her eyes again. “I know...”

She scooted closer to me, smiling sincerely, making her voice sweet and warm in that way that always managed to make me feel safe, even now. “I’m okay. You don’t have to worry.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m gonna worry, Haseul. I’m always gonna worry about you.” Since I’d first met her, I’d been worried about her. We both overworked ourselves. Arguably, she was more well balanced than I was, but for some reason I hated seeing her tired or stressed or struggling, and did everything in my power to help her, even if it meant ignoring myself. That hadn’t changed. I didn’t think it ever would.

Haseul frowned slightly. “Well... you don’t have to.”

My eyes were stinging again. I didn’t want to cry, there was no real reason to, it was just all the stress piling up, and the only good it would do would be getting Haseul to fret. I took another deep breath, looking around at the others. Jungeun hovered by the ledge of the roof, staring down at the alley we’d come from. “I’m gonna ask Jungeun if she has a cigarette.”

Haseul smiled up at me as I got to my feet. “Good luck.”

Jungeun paced back and forth on one side of the rooftop slowly, so close to that edge that it nearly seemed like it was a balancing act. I hadn’t exchanged many words with Jungeun, which felt wrong considering how much she’d done for us even in the short span that we’d known her.

“You wouldn’t happen to have a cigarette, would you?” The wind was cold. I wrapped my arms around myself, regretting not having grabbed a coat.

Jungeun glanced at me, stopping her pacing to stand still. “No, sorry. I don’t smoke.”

I shrugged, tilting my head at her. “Bit close to the edge there.”

“Yeah, I’m... I’m uh, scared of heights and I’m trying to work through it. Yaknow, exposure to your fears and all that.” Now that she’d mentioned it, she seemed slightly shaky doing what she was. She peered over the edge again but quickly looked away.

My brow furrowed. “Hmm. You’re more scared of falling _from_ heights, not height itself.”

She frowned, probably not seeming the point. I guess it wasn’t the best conversation starter. “I guess so, yeah.”

I offered a different, more personal example. “I mean, for instance, I’m scared of drowning - not water.”

She looked over at me, her body steadying slightly when she wasn’t staring down at the ground many feet below. “Isn’t everyone scared of drowning?”

“I guess. But I avoid water and don’t go swimming because of it.”

Jungeun nodded in understanding. “Yeah and I avoid tall buildings if I can, but here we are...” I think she started to process that this was my poor attempt at getting to know her, and she thankfully threw me a bone. I wasn’t great at meeting new people. “I’m from a small town, so I don’t have to be around buildings like this too often. I’m still not used to them.”

That made sense. “I see...”

She pried a little bit, since I wasn’t offering much on my own. “What kind of scientist are you? Like a psychologist or something?”

I chuckled nervously, taking off my glasses to clean the lenses again. “Ha, no. I’m an immunologist. But I’m also just nosey and give unsolicited advice...”

Jungeun laughed gently along with me, liking my self-awareness. “Good of you to address your flaws.”

I shrugged slightly. “It keeps me humble.”

Jungeun sighed in slight defeat, moving away from the edge finally and heading toward the center of the roof. “It’s not working. I’m still freaked out.”

“That’s fine. You’re allowed to be scared of things, soldier girl.” It was like she was trying to work through every single fear she’d ever had, so that she could better help us and keep us safe, but that was just unrealistic. She didn’t have to be perfect.

She slung her arm loosely around my shoulders as she passed me, walking the two of us back toward Haseul. “And you’re officially allowed to give me unsolicited advice, science girl.”

I planned to.


	17. Separation

**_Jungeun_ **

__

We all sat on that roof, biding our time, and although Vivi and Haseul kept talking I just sat and listened. I paid attention to the gunshots, where they were going and their frequency. That soldier would run out of bullets at some point. Either that, or he’d get overwhelmed. But for now, he’d gotten pretty far. I’d looked over the ledge, and the infected had given up quickly once we were out of sight and they couldn’t hear us. There was no real point in waiting any longer, we should really just go while we had the chance.

__

Sure enough, Hyunjin had been thinking the same thing. She got to her feet, not having been particularly relaxed anyway. There was a lingering air of panic about her. She wanted to look for Heejin as soon as possible, obviously, that’d been her goal this whole time. That was why we’d even gone this way in the first place. Our eyes met and I understood her wordless communication, getting to my feet as well.

__

“Alright guys. Let’s get moving while they’re distracted.” The others followed me as I headed toward the ladder. “Chaewon, you should probably lead the way again. We can’t really afford getting lost. You up for it?” I wasn’t even sure why I asked, we didn’t have another option. Hyunjin clearly hadn’t known where she was going, so we couldn’t rely on her. No amount of determination could make up for for literally not knowing where we were.

__

Hyejoo looked at Chaewon intently before the blonde could muster an answer. “I-I... yeah. I’ll help. Can we try to go quick, though...?” The request was muttered under her breath, almost as if she was too timid to even make sure I’d hear it.

__

“Yeah. We can pick up the pace, go as fast as you want.” I reassured her. She seemed unstable. It was a lot of responsibility to be the guide of this whole group, but I trusted her to get it together. She’d done it before.

__

Yeojin pushed her way toward the ladder. “Let me go first, Jim is heavy.” She was still lugging that instrument case along with her. There was that name again: Jim. Did she name it? Was this the girl I was supposed to prioritize over Haseul? Damn, she really was just a kid.

__

Haseul stepped closer. “Yeojin-ah, no, we need to be careful--”

__

“--There’s nothing down there! Jeez, relax.” Without waiting for any more permission she moved to start to descend the ladder, but I remembered the promise I’d made and reached to clasp her tiny wrist. She froze, startled by the contact. “Ex _cuse_ me how dare you lay a hand on--”

__

“--I’m going first. I have the gun.” I told her, pointing gently to the pin still on my chest. The young girl’s eyes flitted between mine and my recently acquired badge, as if being reminded of it made me more qualified than my actual rank in the military, and she grudgingly stepped aside. Haseul nodded at me weakly, the gesture so small that nobody else would’ve noticed besides the two of us.

__

Without another moment of pointless hesitation, I mounted that ladder and went down. I did my best to be quiet, making my steps against the rungs light. Others followed me in an order I didn’t bother to keep track of, instead putting my focus on making sure that the alley was actually clear once I was in it. It sure as hell seemed empty. The dumpster we’d pushed was slightly askew from the flow of infected that’d pressed against it when they’d chased us, but besides that, there was no sign they’d even been there in the first place. It was sort of surreal.

__

Jinsol’s voice over my shoulder caught my attention. “Clear?” She hovered directly behind me. I remembered that she didn’t have a weapon, that she’d lost her knife in the same explosion that’d nearly cost her her eye, and that made me uneasy. I made a mental note to try and find her something else.

__

“Clear.” I spoke up slightly so the others heard the confirmation too.

__

Chaewon wordlessly made her way to the front of the group and started walking at an intensely brisk pace, Hyejoo sticking to her heels like glue. We all followed her too, moving as one big collective, and nobody said another word. The engrained instinct to keep quiet was just natural at this point, and nobody needed to be reminded. Even Yeojin stayed damn near silent. The wheels of her big instrument case would bump occasionally along abnormalities in the pavement, but that wouldn’t be loud enough to draw anything. It was actually strangely reassuring somehow, because it let me know that she was keeping up and with the group without needing to keep an eye on her. I hadn’t expected to take the promise I’d made to Haseul so seriously, but surprisingly, I was.

__

Chaewon moved faster the further we went, as if not trusting how abandoned everything around us seemed and expecting things to go to shit at the drop of the hat just like they had earlier. That was a reasonable precaution, and I didn’t hear a single complaint from anyone else about how quick we were going - not even Haseul, who had the most reason to because of her leg. Hyunjin brushed past me to walk alongside Chae, pointing to what I assumed were notable landmarks that she recognized and asking for periodic updates about the strange shortcuts we were taking.

__

After about five minutes of dreadful, lingering suspense and fear of another mishap like that paranoid soldier, Chaewon stopped in her tracks. The rest of us did as well.

__

“Oh, uh--” Chae seemed surprised at whatever she spotted. Hyunjin was unfazed, heading forward despite the rest of us having frozen, and making a beeline straight toward a husk of a building. “That’s, uh... where it _used_ to be.” It’d been practically burnt to the ground. You couldn’t even tell what type of place it’d been, not really, anyway.

__

We all caught up to Hyunjin, moving slower than before. Yerim was the first to speak up weakly, her voice still hushed. “This is where she worked...?”

__

Hyunjin just nodded. I examined her closely, expecting her to be rattled, to be jarred by the state the building was in, but her face remained startlingly blank. I wondered if this was that denial resurfacing. That persistent, intense denial that I’d caught glimpses of earlier.

__

Vivi tossed her own question in. I was probably the one who knew the most about this situation. “You said this is where you last saw her?” Hyunjin nodded again. “Oh...”

__

There was a tension that settled in the air, making it dense and weighted. That was when I knew I wasn’t alone here. I wasn’t the only one who assumed the worst, and I didn’t think I was being pessimistic either. If you left someone in the middle of a burning building, and came back to a heap of ashy, smouldering debris, wouldn’t you sort of assume that...? Y’know...?

__

I understood that Hyunjin’s denial was coming from a place of self-preservation - she’d likely cease to function or experience a serious emotional breakdown if she tried to process the fact that her girlfriend probably hadn’t made it. My issue with this was whether or not I should try and help her perpetuate the myth, or if I should try and pull her out of it. I’d made a promise I just genuinely wasn’t sure how to keep.

__

Hyunjin stepped into the rubble, starting to sift through what remained. Looking for something. Someone, maybe. My heart wrenched at the sight.

__

Yerim, Yeojin, Chaewon and Hyejoo all surged closer, starting to help her in the sudden search without a moment’s hesitation. Everyone else stayed put. I glanced at them, at the discomfort and uncertainty visible on all of their faces, and I realized they were at a similar impasse as me. Were we supposed to be brutally honest with Hyunjin? Or be optimistic like the girls helping her? What would be better in the long run...? My mind was buzzing. It was pitiful to watch the way she sifted through that debris. What was she looking for...? A body? A trace of her? Some sort of closure? Did she _want_ to find something, or nothing, so she could cling to hope? I just stared, rooted to the spot but wondering if I should move forward.

Swallowing down the part of me saying not to, I stepped into that rubble and started to root through it. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to look for, but damn was I terrified that I’d find a body in here. If Heejin _was_ dead, if she had been in here when it’d gone up in flames, I... I dunno, at the very least I didn’t want to be the person who had to deliver that news. It was hard to root through this stuff. Some of the rubble was too heavy to lift, and I started to wonder that if... the worst happened, would we even be able to identify the body...?

__

I didn’t let myself think too much and I just searched aimlessly. I glanced back at the others. Jiwoo was staring at me, looking dismayed, and damn did I relate to that. What was I even doing...? Jiwoo was one of the nicest, most genuine caring people I knew, and Haseul was so selfless it bordered on dangerous, but not even they were helping. Guess they were more rational than I was. They also hadn’t made a binding promise to help find this most likely dead girl.

__

After lingering, dragging minutes of nothing but the sound of our hands sifting through the remnants of that building, Hyunjin sighed and all eyes were instantly drawn to her. She started to walk back toward the group, brushing dust and ash from her hands. The girls and I followed her, that tension in the air more palpable than ever as we waited for Hyunjin to speak.

__

She still seemed unfazed. “Well, I don’t see her here. So that means she got out.” She sounded so certain. My chest tightened.

Sooyoung raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. Uh-oh, was she gonna start something? She shouldn’t, at least not right now. Things felt incredibly precarious. The majority of us were sharing the same unspoken mindset - that Hyunjin was in some sort of pitiful, sad denial - but we weren’t sure how to broach the subject. It was... difficult. We were all trying to consider in our own heads how we were supposed to deal with this, but I had a creeping suspicion that Sooyoung had already decided on her methodology. And I doubted it’d be too gentle.

__

“Why’d you leave her here?” She asked in a surprisingly subdued tone.

__

Hyunjin answered automatically, her voice devoid of any traceable emotion. “She was trapped in the kitchen. I couldn’t get to her.”

__

The rest of the girls collectively flinched at the added information. That just made the odds of Heejin surviving even _less_ likely. Hyunjin wasn’t doing herself any favors, but at least she was telling us the truth. Sooyoung’s eyes narrowed. “How would she have gotten out then, if she was trapped?”

  
Hyunjin didn’t react to the skepticism evident in Sooyoung’s voice. “I dunno. The door, the roof, maybe someone else came to help her.” Sooyoung just stared. The silence that followed Hyunjin’s explanation made the air so incredibly dense you could cut it with a knife. As it dragged on, she finally seemed to realize something. I think she understood why we were all staring at her in the way we were, why Sooyoung was questioning her like this and asking things we all in truth wanted to ask. And she didn’t appreciate it. Her brow furrowed, the expression slowly but surely morphing into a full-on glare. “Don’t fucking give me that look.” The warning was directed at Sooyoung, but the rest of us felt it too.

__

Sooyoung feigned ignorance. “What look, I didn’t--”

__

Hyunjin glared now, sneering openly. “All of you fuck _off_.”

__

Haseul stepped closer and I hoped her rational, steady voice would be enough to ease the mounting tension. “Hyunjin, we aren’t--”  
  


Hyunjin didn’t even let her finish. “--No. She got out. She went to her dorm room, just... after or before me. That’s all. Come on, we’re going there again.” She met eyes with me at the last sentence. Oh. We were going back to Jinsol’s campus? It’d been pretty trashed when we’d been there. I wasn’t sure about this plan...

__

We didn’t have much of a chance to protest, because Hyunjin was already moving. Heading back the way we’d come. It seemed like she knew a bit more where she was going now that she had the starting point of this building to go off of. Chaewon didn’t correct her even if she was wrong, justifiably seeming too intimidated to do so again.

__

Not wanting Hyunjin to go off by herself, I followed her. I’d made a promise and I intended to keep it if I could. Jiwoo clung loosely to my arm when I passed her, being pulled along with me in the process. I heard the rest of them coming too. Guess we were all in this together, at least until someone’s patience wore thin or someone lost their temper.

__

Sooyoung scoffed under her breath, Hyunjin thankfully a bit too far ahead to hear. “This is a waste of time...”

__

None of us opposed that. But what could we do?

__

The way there was indescribably nerve wracking. Yeah the city sure as hell _seemed_ abandoned, but we all knew how misleading that was by now. I was almost more worried about bumping into another unstable person than I was about encountering more infected. The distant gunshots from that soldier had stopped eventually and I couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to him. I hadn’t been exceptionally close with anyone in the military, but that didn’t mean I wished them any sort of harm. I wondered if my regiment had managed to get out of the city before everything went to shit. I wondered if I was the only one who’d gone AWOL for personal reasons, or if everyone had scattered in the panic. I wondered if I secretly knew any of the uniformed bodies we passed by in droves, but wouldn’t let myself look at their faces for long enough to recognize anyone.

__

We made it there, somehow. Jinsol seemed a bit uncomfortable being back and I couldn’t blame her, after she’d lost Yujin so abruptly.

__

“God, it’s a mess...” She muttered weakly, having stuck a bit to my other side. “The courtyard used to be so nice.” I could still sort of tell from the way the grass was neatly cut and the few scattered trees.

__

Jiwoo nodded weakly in agreement. “I used to study here...” There were blood splatters and bullets and even a few scattered bodies in our path. Some car had veered straight through it all, its tire tracks leaving ugly marks on the usually clean walkways.

__

Hyunjin didn’t care their commentary and instead rushed straight to the dorm building Jinsol and I had initially found her in. The window we’d used to escape was still shattered, though our clothes rope had fallen to the ground. The infected that’d fallen and splattered Jinsol were still there in a pool of blood. The doors were busted open. Nothing looked notably different from how we’d left it, AKA there were no signs of Heejin ever having been there. I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

__

Hyunjin rushed ahead, getting in the building before us, and I picked up my pace. I didn’t like her going ahead by herself. By the time I’d caught up I expected to see her halfway up the stairs, running to Heejin‘s room, but she’d instead frozen in the middle of the wrecked lobby. She picked up a crumpled piece of paper from the middle of the floor, opening it up. What the hell was she doing?

__

She slowly turned to face me, staring at what I realized was a map with wide eyes. What was so intriguing about it? I stepped closer. Yeah, it was a map of a city, so? Her finger moved to point at a crude drawing in the corner. It was sloppy, but it sort of looked like a... a bunny?

__

“This is from her.” She was nearly in awe, like she was scared to let herself believe it. The others slowly filed in, the older members of the group still wary and cautious. Curious about what all the fuss was, a small circle started to form around Hyunjin, all of us nervously hanging on her every word. “She... when we first met she drew it on my receipt, with her number. This is hers. It’s the same.”

__

Sooyoung scoffed outwardly that time. I think her tolerance had thinned to the point that she couldn’t just swallow it down and be courteous anymore. “It’s just a fucking bunny! Anyone could draw that!”

__

Hyunjin glanced back up at her, so invested it didn’t even seem like she’d registered Sooyoung’s moderately condescending tone. “Yeah but why would you draw it on a _map_?! She’s trying to tell me where she is!!” I could see her desperation morphing slowly into intense, burning hope. Hoping in this situation was... risky.

__

Sooyoung shook her head, incredibly dismissive by now, “You’re fucking delusional.”

__

Everyone not directly involved in this confrontation tensed from the harshness. Uh-oh. Hyunjin snapped, a fire appearing behind her eyes that made me instinctively back away from her. She spun to face Sooyoung, taking a daunting step closer. “ _Fuck_ you!”

__

Jiwoo moved, gently wrapping her hands around one of Sooyoung’s arm, trying to pull her away, to calm her, but I’d just met her and I knew she was way too stubborn to be persuaded right now. “Sooyoung...”

__

Sooyoung shrugged her grip away, glaring right back at Hyunjin. “What? No point in skirting around it, what good will that do?” I doubted her intentions were as pure as she was acting.

__

Hyunjin sneered, the rage emanating off of her causing the rest of the group to edge further away. Sooyoung stood her ground, even as Hyunjin stepped closer and got right in her face. “Watch your fucking mouth.”

__

“She’s _dead_.”

__

What happened next was so fast and sharp of a movement, I barely even processed it. Hyunjin’s arm snapped back, thrusting forward in one quick motion and slamming _hard_ against Sooyoung’s face. The taller girl staggered, nearly falling, but Jiwoo caught her before she did. I was so stunned I couldn’t even move, but others did. Haseul and Jinsol surged forward to hold Hyunjin back, though the livid girl didn’t seem like she planned on throwing another punch. One was quite enough. Sooyoung looked dazed, almost like she might even pass out as she did her best to get her bearings. She stayed quiet.

__

Hyunjin was breathing erratically, and with little to no effort she squirmed her way from those restraining her. “That’s where she is. I just know that’s where she went, and I know she left this here for me to find so I’d know where to go.” She looked at the map again, having clenched it tightly into her fist from her anger. “Trust me. I know her better than anyone. This is what she’d do, I just _know_ it. With or without you guys, I’m going there, and I’m gonna find her.”

__

Vivi stepped closer, gently taking the map from her hands to look at the spot that was marked. “Oh... that’s all the way on the other side of the outskirts. Hyunjin, we’d have to go straight through the heart of the city to get over there...”

__

Jiwoo moved, looking at the map as well and blurting out abruptly, “That’s the total opposite way of our town, Jungeun...” My chest tightened.

__

I glanced at the others. My body stiffened, a small question I’d been wondering slipping out. “Where are you all hoping to go...?”

__

Jinsol cautiously spoke first, and the way her voice sounded made me think her words had been sitting at the top of her chest for hours. “My brother lives on the outskirts, um...” She glimpsed at the map too. “Near there, actually...”

__

Haseul clasped Yeojin’s hand, looking visibly conflicted. “Our family, and presumably where our parents went, is outside the city, but... I’m not relying on that too much...” Her tone was bleak but also soberingly realistic.

__

Yerim frowned, her eyes flitting between Haseul and Hyunjin. “I... I mean, Girl Scout Law Code #4: a girl scout takes the initiative in helping others...” She didn’t add anything else on, like that was all the explanation she thought we needed. She seemed attached to Yeojin. Even then, she clung to the back of the smaller girl, so I assumed she’d like to stay with her and that group. Vivi too, even though she wasn’t saying much.

__

Hyejoo spoke, her voice low. “I-I want to get out of the city as soon as I can... doesn’t matter where.” Chaewon nodded along with the words, clutching Hyejoo’s hand, as if Hyejoo was decidedly speaking for the two of them as a collective.

__

Sooyoung pulled her hand away from her face that she was partially shielding. She was gonna have a hell of a bruise. “My aunt’s in the countryside the opposite direction.”

__

Hyunjin had followed along as everyone said their piece, her body shaking from what I think was a combination of anticipation, anxiety, and burgeoning hope. Finally, her eyes moved to me expectantly. And I remembered the promise I’d made. But... this whole bunny symbol on the map thing was just... _reaching._ Grasping at straws I genuinely didn’t think were there. Going through the heart of the city like that would be such a damn gamble. Jiwoo wanted to go the opposite way. Fuck.

__

I had to choose. And I could barely think, my brain was just so fucking fried. Instincts took over.

__

“I-I’m going with Hyunjin.” I muttered weakly. My confidence had totally faded. This wasn’t an easy choice to make, but after I’d told Hyunjin so firmly that I’d keep my promise, what kind of scummy person would I be if I took that back now? She already seemed furious, moments away from potentially knocking someone else flat. It wasn’t that I was doing this out of fear, though. If she wanted to punch me, I’d take it. I just didn’t want her to view me as someone who went back on my word. That was the absolute opposite of me.

__

Jiwoo gently clasped my wrist. “Jungeun...” It was like she was pleading with me. Nearly begging me to reconsider, to instead go with her back to our hometown. My chest tightened even further, being able to tangibly feel every single one of my heartbeats.

__

I’d risked my life to find her. Disobeyed orders. This... should be a simple choice. I’d finally found Jiwoo, so I should stay with her now. Protect her. But it wasn’t that easy anymore. I’d met all these other people, and they needed protection too.

__

Haseul stepped closer, “I’ll go with you, Hyunjin. You shouldn’t try to do this by yourself.” Yeojin nodded firmly in agreement over Haseul’s shoulder. Vivi glanced at her oddly, seeming reluctant, but not enough to speak up and try to change their course.

__

“We’ll help you.” Yerim muttered sweetly, stepping closer and resting her hand on Hyunjin’s arm. Hyunjin flinched from the contact but didn’t shrug it away, instead staring at the young girl in what I could only read as pure confusion. Yerim was... peculiarly nice. Even now. It was refreshing, but I still wondered how she was doing it.

__

Jinsol raised a timid hand. “Um, I’ll come with you too. My brother’s place is right along the way, and... I’d just like to swing by and see if he’s there. I-If that’s okay...” She trailed off. I don’t think she felt like being too assertive, but her reason for wanting to go was incredibly valid. You’d have to be straight up irrational to deny her that, and although Hyunjin was frantic, I had a feeling she wasn’t quite irrational yet.

__

Nobody else spoke up in favor of going with Hyunjin. In fact, they stayed absolutely dead silent. The weighted air made me feel like I was sinking into the floor. Was I making the right choice...?  
  


“I can’t go that way. Sorry. I don’t feel like dying in the middle of this urban hellscape.” Sooyoung gingerly touched her cheek. Her voice was much more subdued, lacking the usual sarcastic edge it’d had for nearly the entire time I’d been exposed to her. “Good luck.” Even that hadn’t been condescending. It didn’t necessarily sound genuine, or like she’d thought it meant anything, it was more like a polite albeit hollow gesture.

__

“We’ll go with you.” Hyejoo told Sooyoung, speaking for she and Chaewon again. Chae didn’t seem to have any objections. “We just want to get out of here.” That made sense. The two of them seemed to be panicking more and more the longer they were in this city. Chaewon was unfortunately really useful, but we’d find our way without her if we had to. Hopefully Sooyoung cared enough to keep them safe.

__

“I’ll go with you too.” Jiwoo spoke up. Her grip on me faltered, and she stepped away. What...? Still? Even after I said I was going with Hyunjin...? She moved to stand at Sooyoung’s side, looking back at me with an unreadable expression.

__

I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to talk again, my throat and chest were so unbelievably constricted. I could hardly even get a real inhale in, but I did my best not to let it show through. Was I really doing this...? Leaving Jiwoo and trusting her life with Sooyoung - a girl I didn’t even know? All because of two promises I’d made in the heat of the moment? I... something deep, intrinsic, and intense told me to stay with Hyunjin. To help her, like I’d insisted I would. It wasn’t like... I’d never see Jiwoo again. I mean... of course not. Right?

__

I didn’t say a word. Just took a step back from Jiwoo and Sooyoung, joining the side of the room that’d more or less moved to stand with Hyunjin. Two distinct groups had formed now. And I just didn’t know if I was in the right one. I saw the way Jiwoo’s eyes changed when I didn’t immediately alter my course to align with hers - I knew that was what she’d expected. Hell, that was damn near what I’d expected. But... I had to go with my gut. I’d always, _always_ gone with my gut. And my gut was telling me to stay with Hyunjin.

__

“Jungeun...?” Jiwoo questioned softly, raising an eyebrow at me. My heart wrenched. Sooyoung crossed her arms, already looking defensive. Was she really about to pick some sort of fight with me, _right_ after she’d gotten a fist straight in her face?

__

Yerim tried to speak up, not at all understanding the intricacy or history behind this situation. “It’s okay Jiwoo... things are probably fine outside the city, so it should be easy to meet back up again!” I doubted that. I’d always doubted Jiwoo’s hopeful theory that non-urban areas were miraculously untouched by this chaos. My stomach was tying itself into nearly painful knots. What was I doing...?

__

Jiwoo glanced at Yerim briefly, unaffected by her attempt at misguided optimism. “Jungeun... I thought we were gonna go home together?” I nearly felt my eyes starting to sting.

__

“I need to help Hyunjin.” I tried to explain, so she’d at least understand. So she wouldn’t resent me for this. I didn’t want her to resent me. “I promised.”

__

Sooyoung rolled her eyes and I felt my blood start to boil. “Really? Jesus Christ, cool it with the moral high ground schtick. Jiwoo’s your friend, right?” Jiwoo stepped slightly closer to Sooyoung, avoiding my eyes. I wasn’t sure if I should nod, or call Sooyoung out right then and there for talking to me with that tone. Instead, Jiwoo seemed to nod on my behalf. Sooyoung had already suspected it, obviously. “Just shut up and come with us. You can’t really afford to be abandoning the people you’re close with right now, when everyone’s dropping like flies.”

__

I felt the color drain out of my skin. My body was starting to shake. I didn’t know what to do anymore. Was Sooyoung seriously implying that Jiwoo was...? That she might...? I couldn’t even think it. My heart was beating fast, erratic. 

__

Jiwoo blinked rapidly. “I-I? Weren’t you looking all over for me? You finally found me and now you’re leaving...? Again?” The word “again” felt like a punch straight to my gut. I still had to work through that guilt - my essential absence from her life for the last year. She was right. Was I really going to leave her again...?

__

Hyunjin spoke up suddenly, her words firm. “Jungeun, you promised. I need your help.” It felt like my brain was being torn in half.

__

I took a deep, much needed breath, and it helped to steady me a bit. “They’re going into the middle of the city, Jiwoo. They need protection, I-I can keep them safe...” My eyes lingered on Yeojin and Haseul. Yerim was nearly defenseless too, despite the baseball bat she clutched loosely in one of her hands. Sure they’d have Hyunjin, and she was a force to be reckoned with, and Vivi had her small little pistol, but I doubted her ability to use or even aim it. Jinsol wasn’t useless, but with her eye, I wasn’t sure how much help she’d be.

__

They were heading straight into the thick of it. I couldn’t... I couldn’t let them go by themselves. Jiwoo had Sooyoung, and yeah, Hyejoo and Chaewon were just as defenseless as Yeojin and Yerim, but they were going the path of much less resistance. If they got lucky and kept quiet, they’d be able to get out of the city and to our town without a problem. They didn’t need me. Not as badly as the group going with Hyunjin needed me, and I needed to consider that. I couldn’t afford to be selfish. Apocalyptic situations like this were when sticking to morals and important human principles was most important. If I ignored that, if I went with Jiwoo for my own selfish reasons, where did it end? Was that a slippery slope of prioritizing just the two of us, like we were the only people who needed or deserved help? That just wasn’t right. And I wouldn’t do it.

__

Jiwoo blinked faster, tears visible in her eyes that made me almost go back on the entire mental process I’d just labored through. Almost. “I guess so, but... Jungeun, I’ve known you since I was four. You were the most important person in my life for... as long as I can remember. Sooyoung’s right, we can’t afford to leave each other right now, things are crazy, and... I don’t want to lose you.”

__

Fuck. I wasn’t sure if I could do this. “Shit, Jiwoo, don’t...” I cleared my throat when my voice vaguely broke. “Please... I can protect them. I’m gonna protect them. You’ll be fine, just stay with Sooyoung.” I took another step away, hoping that’d be the end of it because I didn’t know how much more I could take.

__

But she wasn’t quite done. “So what, if _I_ want your protection, that just doesn’t matter?” She sounded so betrayed. This hurt. This really hurt.

__

“No, I didn’t...” I pursed my lips. What else could I say? “That’s not what I meant... this isn’t an easy choice, I--”

__

“--Then just come _on_. You aren’t gonna get some sort of military medal for helping the civilians anymore, dumbass, so just stick with who you know.” Sooyoung snapped at me, seeming impatient.

__

My temper flared. I couldn’t help it, why was she intervening like this? This was between Jiwoo and I, and just us. I sneered, glaring at the taller girl. “Ex _cuse_ me? Who the _fuck_ do you think you are, talking to me like that?”

__

She was unfazed, scoffing at me. “Back the fuck up, hothead, I’m just trying to--”

__

“--You don’t even _know_ Jiwoo, what’re you--”

__

“-- _Stop fighting._ ” Jiwoo spoke up firmly, her voice more than enough to end our argument before it really had a chance to start. She looked unstable. Her hands trembled and she wouldn’t quite look at anybody anymore, Sooyoung or I included. “Fine. Whatever. Let’s just go, then.” I’d never seen her so stoic. I didn’t like it.

__

Haseul tried to interject again. Everyone else had remained politely silent during this whole thing, not wanting to interrupt something that clearly had very personal roots. “Alright... lets split our supplies, okay? We’ve been hovering around here a while, I don’t think we should stay too much longer if we can help it...”

__

She was right. All this yelling and debating and arguing had happened in the middle of this destroyed lobby. We were still in this hellish city, in this chaotic world which we didn’t even fully understand. Things were... far from resolved, but we had to stop. We had places to go, and Haseul was right, we should divide the supplies.

__

**_Jinsol_ **

__

I helped Haseul separate the few supplies we had. It was unsettling knowing just how little was left, but Sooyoung had been generous about who got what. I’d sort of expected her to protest, to insist that their group get more supplies, but she was level headed and rational. Weird to see her like that, after having her be nothing but pretty damn hostile toward both Hyunjin and Jungeun in a matter of minutes. I was the one who handed their share of the supplies to Sooyoung, who just nodded weakly at me and slung the bag onto her shoulders.

__

This was... weird. I mean, I hadn’t had much time to get to know any of the people who were going the other way, but Jiwoo’s guitar the night before had been really refreshing. Sooyoung seemed like she could handle herself, but... I dunno, I couldn’t help but wonder if I wouldn’t see any of them ever again. It was strange. I’d never really dealt with death before, or at least I didn’t used to. Fuck, I’d still barely processed what happened to Yujin. I hadn’t quite had the time. Now all these girls were going off on their own, and at this point, if you hadn’t seen someone in the flesh with your own eyes it was safer to assume they were dead than to hope they’d defied the odds. Despite knowing that, it was way easier said than done. That’s why I needed to get to my brother’s. I knew it was unlikely, but I empathized with Hyunjin here. It was hard to accept the possibility of someone you loved being... gone. You weren’t gonna do it unless the truth stared you right in the face.

__

Yerim and Yeojin surged forward just as I stepped back, crossing the natural space that’d started to form between the two groups. Yerim walked right up to Hyejoo and wrapped the taller girl into her arms. Hyejoo blinked, startled, but slowly hugged her back, one of her hands gently cradling the back of Yerim’s head. The two’s height difference allowed Yerim’s head to nestle almost perfectly in the crook of Hyejoo’s neck. Although the taller girl seemed startled, the gesture seemed incredibly natural and cohesive.

__

“Good luck, Hyejoo!” I could practically hear the girl smile without needing to see it. “I’m glad I got to see you again, even if it was just for a little bit...” Hyejoo almost looked like she was getting emotional. Yerim pulled back, checking to make sure the badge she made was still pinned to Hyejoo’s chest. “You’ve still got this! And actually... hmm...” She glanced down at the sash she still wore, the one so covered in pins I wasn’t sure where she’d put any new ones, and plucked one off. She reached forward and pinned it gently next to the one she’d made last night. It had a little image of an envelope with smiley faces surrounding it. “Keep this one too! I got it for having a pen pal, but, I dunno, the sentiment is there! You’ll be my mental penpal! We can send each other thought letters.” Hyejoo smiled ever so slightly, seeming almost cautious to do so.

__

Chaewon stepped closer suddenly, throwing her arms around Yerim so intensely that the girl scout almost staggered. She chuckled warmly, her cheeks lighting with a slight blush. “Oh, hello!” She didn’t hesitate to hug the blonde in return, rubbing a brief circle along her back. “Do you want another pin too? You can pick whichever one you want, you--”

__

“--No, no, it’s okay...” Chaewon sniffled and pulled back. “You should keep them, you earned those.”

__

Yerim shook her head, “I guess so, but my pins make me feel stronger! You guys are going off by yourselves, so I thought I’d give you some of what makes me feel strong, so you can feel it too. Here,” She pulled a pin away from her sash and placed it next to the one Chaewon already wore. “I got this for rafting, but see, there’s some rocks next to the water, and I saw all your rocks earlier... kinda a stretch, but...” Chaewon blinked rapidly, nodding with a faint smile.

__

Yeojin went straight up to Jiwoo, dragging her tuba case alone with her. I’d tried to ask Vivi why the hell she had that damned thing with her, and the only response I got was “It’s... Jim.” Which left me with more questions than answers.

__

“Bye Jiwoo! I’ll miss your yeehaw guitar. If I hadn’t been so tired last night I would’ve done a duet with you.” She was acting much more casual than Yerim had. Like this goodbye held much less weight. From what I could tell, Yeojin hadn’t quite taken any of this seriously. Which might prove to be difficult later.

__

Jiwoo blinked, still a bit out of it from the uh, conversation she’d just had with Jungeun. There had been a lot of history behind that. Hell, the air was still tense and heavy from it. Jiwoo raised an eyebrow. “My ‘yeehaw’ guitar?”

__

Yeojin raised her hands up in defense. “Apologies, I didn’t ask for her name.” Jiwoo was only more confused now, as were the rest of us. Yeojin seemed frustrated. “Your guitar’s name. You didn’t tell us!” Jiwoo was caught off guard still. “Oh how rude of me, this is Jim.” She opened up the case, showing Jiwoo the tuba in its full glory. That thing was nearly her height, damn.

__

We expected Jiwoo to politely dismiss Yeojin, I mean, she was still so rattled from everything. But she surprised us, her face not changing and her words barely forced. “Uh... I haven’t really thought about it but, uh... Lucille.” She spoke the name with surprising confidence, shifting the guitar in question to her other shoulder.

__

Haseul sighed, speaking up loud enough for the rest of everyone to hear. “Alright, um... we should really get going. It’ll get dark soon...” Yeojin and Yerim moved back to our group, and I stared at the others with a furrowed brow. Four people, huh? That... really didn’t seem like a lot. But maybe that’d be an advantage? I had to remind myself that they were going the less dangerous way. “I hope this isn’t the last time we see each other. And I hope you all find what you’re looking for.”

__

I felt like I should say something, but I wasn’t sure what to say besides a simple, generic: “Good luck, you guys.”

__

Sooyoung checked the bullets in her revolver, not making eye contact with anybody. “Yeah. Good luck to you, too.” The sentiment was surprisingly genuine.

__

I glanced at Jungeun. She and Jiwoo were eying each other, probably considering whether or not they should say some sort of official goodbye, but Jungeun lost her chance before she could make a decision. Sooyoung rounded the rest of their group up wordlessly and led them out the door. We watched them go. God, I hoped they’d be alright. Jungeun cursed so softly under her breath I wouldn’t have heard it if I hadn’t stood so close. I nearly clasped her hand, but restrained the urge. She’d just gone through a lot in the last five minutes, but I was glad she’d stuck with us despite it all. She made me feel a lot safer.


	18. Up in Flames

_Meanwhile, on a city street near the outskirts..._

__

**_Heejin_ **

__

My legs ached. My foot was throbbing in pain. My mouth was dry and craving some sort of water, my heart was beating worryingly fast, my eyelids were heavy with exhaustion, and more than anything I just wanted to _rest_. But I knew we couldn’t. We’d only just lost the infected who’d chased us nonstop for what felt like hours. I was still reeling from the disbelief at our luck. Nayoung had locked us into a kitchen and we’d vaulted out a window, leaving the infected confused and misguided still pounding against the door when we were already blocks away. Now they’d left us be, but I just didn’t trust the concept of us being able to get outside of this city without monsters nipping at our heels.

__

Nayoung was running low on energy, too. Even she wasn’t invincible. Her breathing was erratic, and her pace had slowed. Hoseok’s shoulders were slumped. He’d taken off his suit jacket from how badly he’d been sweating, even in the cold.

__

“Are we almost there...?” Hoseok asked weakly, some of the color having drained from his skin.

__

Nayoung sighed, shaking her head. “We’re almost out of the city. All we can hope for is that it’ll be safer.” She muttered. There was no real hope in her voice, and that was disconcerting. Did she really not think that it’d be better? If it wasn’t, what were we supposed to do? I was with her because I needed protection that she was willing to give me. But also... despite what I’d told her, I did blame myself for what happened to Jinseok. Leaving her alone to mourn for him felt... wrong, especially when he might’ve still been there if these two had never helped me out of that burning kitchen.

__

She looked over her shoulder, back at me - no longer clutching her axe like she was ready to swing it, but lugging it along like a cumbersome weight. “You okay, Heejin? Do you need to take a break?” I’d noticeably slowed down in the last hour or so, because putting even the slightest weight on my bad ankle made me feel like I needed to muffle a curse under my breath.

__

As if this was the place to take a break. We were on a side street full of crashed cars, dead bodies and overall destruction. These streets all looked identical now, and it felt like the level of danger was still the same despite the quiet. It was dangerous to let your guard down, to assume even for a second that you’d be safe, because that made you vulnerable.

__

I dismissed her concern with a wave of my hand. “I’m fine. Keep going.” She could tell I was downplaying it, but she didn’t feel like pushing. It wasn’t the time to debate, either. I took a deep breath and let my mind wander. If we were going out into the countryside, all that really entailed was more and more goddamned _walking_. I could push through the pain now, it wasn’t unbearable, but for potentially _hours_ of more walking like this? I wouldn’t be able to do it.

__

I glanced around our surroundings, at this eerily abandoned street, and I thought of something: “We should try to get a car.”

__

Nayoung stopped to look at me again. “Yeah... but in case you haven’t noticed, most of these things are trashed.” She pointed to one right next to us that had its hood crumpled up like a piece of paper, its engine crackling with a subtle fire. She wasn’t wrong.

__

I nodded, “I know, but... I mean, it’s not like all of them don’t work. I’m sure there’s one we can salvage, or someone who just abandoned their car but didn’t crash it, or something? We haven’t really been looking...” I told her, looking at the street with a new interest.

__

Nayoung turned, reassessing our surroundings.. “A car definitely wouldn’t hurt.” She kept on walking, going slow and steady, and I kept up with her despite the pain still throbbing in my foot. Hoseok hovered behind me, seeming to be really running on fumes. We stayed close to the walls of buildings, not wanting all of our sides to be open to whatever infected might show up.

__

Right as we rounded the corner onto yet another unsettlingly abandoned street, we spotted something. Almost like a godsend, it was a car. Its doors were intact. It wasn’t on fire. Its tires were inflated. From what I could tell, the only thing wrong with it was a deep gouge along its side from some sort of accident. Part of me wondered if this was a mirage that would dissipate into nothing once we got close enough.

__

Apparently the sentiment was mutual, because Hoseok spoke up with a weak, cautious question. “You see that too, right?”

__

Nayoung didn’t respond, instead just making a beeline straight toward it. I followed, trying to look around at the street to make sure it was safe, because something felt... off about this. I couldn’t quite explain why, but I trusted my gut. Unfortunately, by the time I trusted it enough to act, it was too late. I reached to clasp Nayoung by the back of her shirt. Right before my fingers could make contact, though, an unfamiliar voice spoke up harshly from over my shoulder.

__

“All of you, freeze.”

__

Normally, that wouldn’t make me stop, but the sound of two guns cocking made my whole body turn to stone. Nayoung and Hoseok stopped in their tracks too.

__

A man who looked particularly worse for wear came into my peripheral vision. He clutched a pistol that he made sure to aim right at my head as he passed. I dared to glance just a bit further over my shoulder and I saw one other man there, with a revolver clutched haphazardly in one hand. Shit...

__

The man who walked around us stood in front of Nayoung. It wasn’t too hard to tell that she was leading us. She eyed him, more particularly his gun. “We don’t want any trouble.” She muttered under her breath. I could hear her actively restraining what I knew was mounting anger.

__

These guys weren’t sadistic. They just seemed desperate, more than anything else. Paranoid. I didn’t quite think we could reason with them, though. Anyone who approached you with a raised gun didn’t quite radiate rationality.

__

He spoke up again in a raspy, gruff voice, “Where are you guys going? Huh? You know some place safe or what?” They needed information. We all wanted that, but none of us really had it.

__

“I’m just going to my Mom’s. Outside the city.” Nayoung explained plainly. That was true. Alright, so she wasn’t planning on lying. Good.

__

“Heh... pretty bad plan. You think it’s better out there?” Nayoung’s only response to him was a glare. He shrugged, rubbing at his scruffy beard. “Nice axe.”

__

Nayoung sneered, practically snarling. “Don’t fucking touch it or I’ll chop your balls off.”

__

He flinched, clearly not having expected that hostility, but he knew that he and his friend still had the advantage here. “I’ve got two guns on you. So I’d like to see you try.” Despite his threat, he didn’t reach to take the axe. I don’t think he quite wanted to test how serious she’d been.

__

“Nayoung-ah...” I whispered under my breath, trying to calm her down. She shouldn’t lash out right now. I glanced back over my shoulder at the other gunman. He seemed... uncertain. Not as determined as his talkative counterpart. It wasn’t like I could necessarily plead for sympathy from him while his more committed and also armed friend was in earshot, but maybe, _just_ maybe, if we acted up, he wouldn’t immediately shoot us.

__

“You say somethin’?” The man’s attention on Nayoung turned instead to me. Uh-oh. He walked up to me instead, noticing the pistol that I was still loosely clutching in my fingers. “I’ll take this.” He reached down, starting to pry it from my grasp. His own pistol was aimed down at the ground. Nayoung was eying me in a strange way. Did she want me to do something...? Should I do something? That other guy probably wouldn’t shoot us. Nayoung still had her axe, and Hoseok still had his baton. I didn’t know what else this guy might take from us after he took my gun. Fuck.

__

On sheer instinct alone, I frantically tugged my taser from my back pocket and pulled the trigger before anyone knew what was happening. The prongs dug themselves into the guy’s stomach from my shitty, rushed aim, but that was more than enough. An electric shock pulsed straight into him and he twitched violently, crying out in pain. His loose grip on my pistol faltered as his body convulsed. I clutched onto my gun again with white knuckles, waiting for the taser to run out of juice as Hoseok claimed it would. After a lingering moment or two, it made a clicking sound, and the electric current stopped. It was dead. I dropped the now useless taser to the ground, quickly looking at Hoseok and Nayoung.

__

Hoseok clutched his baton now with both hands, looking back at the other guy who stared at the three of us with wide eyes. His pistol was raised but his hands trembled violently. Nayoung was absolutely _pissed_ , more than ready to charge him, anger pulsating off of her in tangible waves.

__

For a few tense moments, nobody moved or did anything. The guy I’d tased had fallen to the road, twitching and clutching at his gut. He wasn’t getting up any time soon. The other one kept glancing between us three and his now incapacitated friend, clearly not sure what to do. I wasn’t sure what to do either, but I could tell that Nayoung was gonna rush him with that axe one way or another.

__

Too uncertain, I just stayed still, and the next second Nayoung was moving. She charged forward, axe raised and ready--

__

\--and he pulled the trigger.

__

_“Nayoung!_ ” I couldn’t help but cry out, rushing forward. She grimaced and recoiled, staggering to the side. The sound of the shot rang out loudly, bouncing and echoing off the tall buildings surrounding us on all sides. Shit. That’d bring infected, just like my gunshot had back on campus. My heart started beating out of my chest, adrenaline pumping so fast I could hardly even think.

__

The guy didn’t shoot again. He couldn’t really, because Hoseok quickly closed the space and brought his baton down hard into the man’s face. He shouted in pain, dropping his pistol, but even though the threat was practically gone, Hoseok didn’t stop. He brought the baton down again, and again, and again, onto the guy’s face and chest and neck, but I could barely even pay attention - too focused on Nayoung.

__

She’d dropped her axe to the pavement, instead moving her hand to clutch at her arm. The bullet had hit her bicep and it seemed lodged in the skin, already bleeding. She cursed through her teeth endlessly, eyes shut tightly in pain.

__

“Nayoung, hey, hey hey hey, you okay??” I asked her in a rushed, frantic voice, doing my best not to panic because that wouldn’t help anything. The muffled sound of Hoseok slamming his baton into that poor guy as he writhed and spit up blood was still in my ears.

__

She grimaced, “Ffffffffuck... asshole _shot_ me...” She glared intensely, working her way through the pain as best as she could.

__

My chest was unspeakably tight. I gently rested my hand on her cheek, getting her to lock eyes with me, “No shit.”

__

She chuckled bitterly, smiling slightly through the pain. Her gaze flitted past me, back at Hoseok, and I turned to look. The guy was dead. Hoseok had beaten him to hell. I did my best not to look, not liking the distant gaze in his eyes. Hoseok quickly joined me at Nayoung’s side, picking up her axe along the way and holding it unfamiliarly.

__

“Infected are probably making a beeline here,” Hoseok told us tersely, wiping splattered blood from his face. “We need to move.” If anything he sounded impatient. As if Nayoung literally being _shot_ was just an inconvenience instead of potentially life threatening.

__

“W-we need to treat this, you got shot-- you got _shot_ , we need to, u-uh, w-we have to--” I stammered and stuttered, my heart in my throat. Despite fighting back the panic as best as I possibly could, it was creeping up on me. Nayoung was hurt. What if she died too...? I couldn’t... _deal_ with that, I couldn’t...

__

“I-I’m fine.” She grunted out, straightening her posture and breathing through the awful pain she must’ve been enduring. My eyes were wide. She met my gaze again, gently grasping my wrist and removing my hand from her cheek. “Relax.” She saw that I was absolutely terrified, trying to take on her role of slight leadership when in truth I couldn’t have felt any less in control of anything that was happening. She didn’t understand _how_ terrified I was, though, or that her claiming that her literal bulletwound was nothing wasn’t helping me to calm down.

__

“W-what?” I asked her, my fear evident in my quaking voice and quivering lip.

__

Hoseok moved to the other man, the one I’d tased, and kicked him while he was down. Nayoung and I looked at him simultaneously, but didn’t move to stop what he was doing. It wasn’t the time, really. He kicked him again, repeatedly in the stomach, despite the man still trying to just recover from the electric shocks he’d received moments before.

__

Nayoung shockingly started to walk, heading toward the car we’d spotted earlier that still sat entrancingly further down the road. Those guys had probably been using it as a lure to ambush people. Assholes. I held onto her uninjured arm and she looked back at me, muttering an explanation. “I just want to get the fuck out of this place.”

__

“I-I...” I didn’t like this. I felt so nervous. That was a serious injury. What if it got worse if we left it alone? I mean... it wasn’t like we were in a position to treat it right now. Hoseok had been right, infected were probably making a beeline straight toward us from that damned gunshot. “I-I don’t know, Nayoung, I--”

__

“Shh.” She told me softly. Hoseok finished his kicking of that man and walked back up to us, handing Nayoung her axe. Once it was in her grasp again, she reached toward my too-long sleeves and sawed off the end of one, using the strip of fabric to tie right above where she’d received her wound. “That’s enough for now. Come on.” She winced through the pain and tried to keep walking, but I clasped her forearm again and held her in place.

__

I guessed it wasn’t really my place to say no to her, or to insist on anything. It wasn’t like I had any real influence here, I was small and weak and injured and cowardly. Reluctantly, I released my grip, instead letting her rush forward like she so wanted to. Hoseok pushed me along frantically, and that was when I heard it. Just like back on that campus, it was that predatorial shrieking and animalistic growling, seeming to be closing in on us from all sides. I picked up my pace, pushing myself further, ignoring the lingering pain that would shoot up my leg whenever I put pressure on my foot. We couldn’t afford to slow down, not even for a second. 

__

Nayoung got to the car first, but I saw her hesitate for a second, not opening the door. Hoseok shouted out to her, since there wasn’t really much of a point in being quiet anymore. “What is it?!”

__

She groaned in frustration, gritting her teeth as she gripped her axe with both of her hands. “There’s one inside!” She backed up, “Heejin, open the door. I won’t let it hurt you.” We’d reached her by then, and she was waiting for me to do what she’d said. I glanced at Hoseok, wondering if I should ask him to do it, but then saw that he was standing with his baton ready. And I realized why. A horde of infected, just a _horde_ of them was rushing at us from down the road, flooding out of buildings and alleyways and merging in one horrifying pack headed straight at us. There were so _many_. I almost froze. I damn near almost felt myself get paralyzed from the intense, overwhelming _fear_ that consumed my whole body, but I forced myself to move.

__

I grabbed the car’s handle and opened it, shielding my body behind it. The infected trapped inside tried to grab me, only to be pulled back into the seat from the belt restraining it. Oh. It must’ve buckled itself in before it turned, and then was too stupid to understand the mechanism to release itself. Even now, it couldn’t quite squirm its way from the restraints.

__

Nayoung kept her word, sending her axe slamming straight into the thing’s forehead as soon as it so much as raised its arm in my vague direction. She grimaced from the sudden exertion of her wounded arm but powered through it. I looked at the wound. Blood dripped from it still. I hated seeing her hurt like that, it tugged at a sense of protectiveness deep in me that I barely knew I had. She reached inside the car, undoing the seat belt and tossing the corpse to the pavement. She hopped into the driver’s side, and Hoseok to the passenger’s.

__

The things were practically on top of us. “Heejin get _in!_ ” Nayoung shouted at me desperately, but I realized something she didn’t.

__

I crouched down, frantically digging through the body’s pockets. Its skin was grotesque and clammy when I brushed my fingers against it accidentally, but I just cringed and kept looking. Nayoung opened her door a crack to yell again, “What are you _doing_ get _in_!!”

__

I found what I was looking for, but damn near too late. I tugged it from the thing’s front pocket and dove frantically into the back seat, kicking the door shut just as that horde plowed into the side of our car, rocking it on its tires from the sheer force.

__

“Fucking _drive!_ ” Hoseok shouted at Nayoung desperately.

__

She blinked twice, registering something that she hadn’t thought of in our rushing. “I-I don’t have the keys!!” Before she could panic, I reached forward, a single key in my palm. She understood in an instant that’s what I’d risked my life to find from that body, and her gratitude was shown wordlessly in her eyes. She snatched those keys from me and frantically started the engine, the mounting numbers of infected slamming their fists against the window making my heart beat out of my chest. One of them made a crack in the middle of mine and I yelped, backing as far away from it as I could. The longer we remained stationary, the closer they got to surrounding us. Shit shit _shit_.

__

“ _GO!!”_ Hoseok commanded loudly, and Nayoung slammed her foot down on the gas. The car lurched forward, nearly slamming into a telephone pole, but Nayoung turned it sharply. The pole snapped off one of our side view mirrors but now wasn’t the time to care. The horde swarmed after us, a few clinging onto the bumper. Nayoung shook off their grip by speeding down the road as fast as the car would go.

__

We left them in the dust. There was no way they could keep up, but I stared out the back window at them all just to reassure myself. They kept up the chase for a few moments before getting distracted by something in the distance - it sounded like automatic fire. I wondered just how far they’d have chased us if they didn’t get drawn somewhere else.

__

We all took deep, frantic breaths. I laid down in the back seat, burying my face into my hands for a few seconds. God, how the hell did we even get out of that...?

__

I stared up at the ceiling of the car, feeling all the bumps in the roads and all the small turns that Nayoung was forced to make to avoid getting into an accident. The road was littered with other crashed vehicles and shattered glass that might flatten our tires, so Nayoung needed to focus intensely so as not to lose our car right after we’d gotten it. Hoseok was hunched over in his seat, his head in his hands as he massaged his temples. His baton was on the floor by his feet. It was bloody, and so was his suit from the way he’d beaten those two men back there. Now that I had time to think back on that with a clear head, I... wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

__

He didn’t need to be so brutal. He could’ve just taken that guy’s gun so he couldn’t shoot anymore, and he could’ve left the one I’d tased totally alone. But instead, he’d brutally beaten them. Hell, he’d _killed_ that one guy... was that just what we did now? Kill people...? Why hadn’t we tried to talk to him? Maybe we could’ve helped each other, or at the very least just left them alone? Did we _have_ to kill them? They were people, not infected. Killing _people_ was... different. That hadn’t quite been self-defense, either. If we took their weapons away, they weren’t a threat anymore, so why kill them...? I hadn’t done it and I still felt guilty. I could’ve spoken up and stopped Hoseok. We didn’t know that guy. Maybe he was nice. Maybe he’d just panicked in the heat of the moment. If a buff firefighter charged at _me_ with an axe, and I had a pistol, hell, I’d shoot too. Now he was dead, he’d been beaten to death right in front of me and I’d been complacent about it. Was I changing too...?

__

What would Hyunjin think about all this?

__

“Heejin?” Nayoung spoke, pulling me from those thoughts, and I turned my head to look at her back. “You should try to get some rest. Alright?” Her voice was soft and comforting - it wasn’t an order, more of a polite, well-intentioned request.

__

I let out a long, audible sigh. As if I could sleep, my mind was buzzing. “No, I’m okay.”

__

“Come on, dummy... we stayed up all night. Your ankle’s sprained and you’ve been running on it for hours. Just go to sleep, we’re already almost out of the city.” I felt the car turn onto another street. She’d slowed down to be more careful, not wanting to crash by going at reckless speeds. The tone to her voice was startlingly soothing, and the hum of the car’s engine was making my eyelids start to flutter closed all on their own. The car’s heat had been on by default, and by then it had started to fully circulate. I wrapped my arms around myself and stared back up at the ceiling. She was probably right.

__

I shut my eyes. Nayoung muttered weakly to Hoseok when I didn’t respond, “She asleep...?”

__

He presumably looked at me. “Think so.”

__

I hadn’t been wrong when I assumed I wouldn’t be able to get to sleep. A lingering sense of fear, guilt and moral uncertainty plagued every single one of my thoughts, and although I was exhausted, it wasn’t enough to override them. Resting my eyes was as much as I could do, but it was still a relief. I didn’t feel any need to speak up or correct the two of them so they’d know I was awake.

__

“Do you know her? From before all this?” Hoseok asked Nayoung in a slightly hushed voice, not wanting to wake me.

__

“No. Me and... Jinseok, we met her yesterday. Why?” Her voice quivered when she had to say Jinseok’s name, and I couldn’t help but flinch from it too. It wasn’t like I’d forgotten. Of course I hadn’t. I’d just... I dunno. My heart wrenched. I knew his blood was still splattered on my-- _his_ sweatshirt that I wore, and the thought made me sick, but I didn’t want to take it off. He’d given it to me. I balled up fistfuls of the fabric and kept listening to them talk.

__

“Seems like you know her pretty well.” Hoseok sounded indifferent, but if he didn’t care then why’d he ask?

__

Nayoung chuckled hollowly, “Nope. Only things I know about her are that she’s batshit crazy about finding her girlfriend, she’s a... waitress? I think? She goes to college, and she’s a damn sweetheart.” My heart fluttered from the passing compliment.

__

Hoseok scoffed under his breath subtly at the last sentiment before muttering something else. “I don’t know shit about either of you, so...”

__

I didn’t want them to start fighting. Partially because it wouldn’t be too safe to get Nayoung pissed off and potentially violent while she drove, but partially because I didn’t want to have to open my eyes to intervene. “Yeah well I don’t know shit about you either.”

__

“There’s not much to tell. I work in finances. Not as useful as firefighting, obviously. I uh...” He trailed off. Nayoung didn’t pry for anything more, and after a minute or so, he continued. “... I was on that campus looking for my sister.”

__

Oh.

__

“Did you find her?” Nayoung asked the first question that’d come to my mind too, not much empathy showing in her voice.

__

Hoseok said nothing. Not for a long time. I was surprisingly held in suspense. I wanted to know. Finally, he spoke again. “Yeah. She was in that library. She... bit Jinseok.”

__

The car slowed to a stop. The air got so tense and thick it felt like I couldn’t breathe. I... I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. I mean... it obviously wasn’t Hoseok’s fault that his sister had been infected, or that she’d been the one to bite Jinseok. Any of those infected could’ve bitten him, and it was only a weird coincidence that it happened to be Hoseok’s sister, but... for some reason it didn’t sit right. Maybe that was irrational, but... I dunno, Hoseok had also seemed hesitant to disclose it. I wasn’t sure if I should open my eyes or not. I wasn’t sure if I’d need to restrain Nayoung from punching Hoseok straight in the face, or what - I had no idea how she’d react to this information. I just stayed perfectly still, tightening my grip on myself and listening closely. Nobody said anything more. Until finally, Nayoung pressed her foot back down on the gas and kept driving.

__

Nobody said anything else, and at some point I wasn’t even aware of, I really did fall asleep.

__

I was jolted awake by the car suddenly stopping. It was nearly abrupt enough for the momentum to have me roll off the back seat, but instead I was roughly jostled before coming to my senses and sitting up in a panic.

__

“W-What is it? Why’re we stopped?!” I’d ripped my pistol from my pocket and had it clumsily aimed at the window, my survival instincts kicking back in full force.

__

Hoseok looked back at me. “Rise and shine. There’s a pharmacy.” I looked out the window at where he’d pointed. He was right, there was a pharmacy, but we were also out of the city. I looked out the back window at the skyline a fair bit in the distance and felt my shoulders relax.

__

“Oh...” I lowered my pistol. The terrain was flatter out here, and we could see nearly all around us. I didn’t spot any infected. The sun was setting again. “We should go in. Find something for Nayoung, right?” I hadn’t forgotten about her wounded arm. It didn’t look _totally_ abandoned. There were a few cars in the parking lot, but a disturbing lack of people. The lights were off inside, and the sun glared a bit on the windows so we couldn’t see in. Hmm...

__

Nayoung shrugged again. “We don’t have to. I’d honestly rather just keep going. I want to get home.”

__

Hoseok shook his head. “We’ve gotta treat that somehow. No guarantee your town’ll be safe.”

__

“No guarantee this place is safe.” Nayoung didn’t miss a beat. Both of them had valid points.

__

“I don’t want to leave your arm like that, Nayoung-ah...” I spoke up, not sure if my opinion would matter much but feeling like I should say it anyway. Nayoung spun in her seat to look at me. “I’d rather take our chances here, where there’s nothing else around, than in a town where there could be way more... yaknow?” I trailed off, unsure of my own reasoning. “I-I mean it’s not really up to me, obviously, but I just--”

__

“--We’ll go in.” Nayoung cut off my needless disclaimer, already stepping outside. Hoseok followed wordlessly, and as I moved to leave too, Nayoung held my door open. She gently clasped my elbow and hand, helping me out of the car. “You good?” She looked me up and down, eyes lingering on the makeshift splint my foot was still in.

__

I nodded, “Yeah, it’s okay. Resting helped, you were right... you and Hoseok didn’t get any sleep, though.” I only realized that now. Damn. They’d been awake for almost two days. We needed to find a place they could get some sleep, this couldn’t be healthy.

__

Nayoung shrugged. “I barely even feel it. All this adrenaline really keeps you awake, huh?” She started to walk toward the pharmacy, but I felt the need to gently clasp her hand.

__

“Hey, we should find a place you guys can sleep soon. It’s not good to stay up like this. Alright? I can keep watch, I already got some sleep.” She waved at me dismissively and I tightened my grip on her. “I’m serious, promise me.”

__

She hesitated for a few lingering seconds before matching my gaze and speaking slowly. “I promise.” I let her go. She knew I was gonna hold her to that. We needed to take care of ourselves, now more than ever. “Come on.”

__

Hoseok was by our side at that point, but he supposedly didn’t feel the need to interrupt like he often did. Instead, he only spoke once we were done. “Let’s stay quiet. Nayoung’s right, we don’t know this place is safe. I’d rather not be chased again so soon, if we have the option.” He clutched his baton tightly, sticking to our usual formation of Nayoung in front and me in between.

__

We all went totally dead silent. Nayoung reached the door first and pushed it open gently. A small bell above it jingled. Shit. We froze, stiff as statues, listening closely to see if we’d been heard. It hadn’t been that loud, maybe we’d gotten lucky. There was some rustling further away in the building. It was a pretty big place. The sound hadn’t carried too far, but that’d _definitely_ been some rustling.

__

“It looks cleared out...” Hoseok whispered so quietly I struggled to hear it. He was right. Not only that, but it looked far from untouched by all the chaos.

__

It’d been a slim hope, but in the back of my mind I’d wondered if the infection hadn’t spread outside the city. I’d wondered if we’d finally catch a break, but it seemed like that was far from the case. Blood was splattered all over the floor. A shopping cart had been tipped over, its contents sprawled out and forgotten. There was only one body in view, partially hidden by a store shelf. The legs that I could see were practically torn to shreds. My stomach got all queasy just looking at them, so I brought my gaze back to the floor at my feet.

__

I guess the most pertinent thing to our problems was that the shelves were empty. Apparently we weren’t the first people who needed medical supplies, and we’d gotten here too late.

__

“There’s gotta be something.” I mumbled, more to myself than to anyone else. “There just has to be.” I took the liberty of stepping out from our little single-file line, walking forward frantically. Nayoung followed, nervous, but I was being relatively cautious. I felt myself starting to panic unexpectedly. If there weren’t any supplies here, what if we just never found any? What if we couldn’t treat Nayoung’s arm, what if it got infected or started bleeding more and she...? No, no no no, we needed to find something.

__

I spotted the pharmacist’s counter. A lot of the shelves behind it were empty too, but there was a door that looked intact and untampered with. Maybe whoever had looted it hadn’t had the patience to go in the back. If we were lucky, there were supplies in there. And please, _please_ , could we just be lucky just this _once_?

__

Nayoung understood my intentions wordlessly once she saw me making a beeline to that counter, and she rushed ahead, vaulting over it with ease. She started to fiddle with the door, but that was when we heard it again. More rustling. I clutched my pistol with white knuckles, shakily raising it.

__

I spotted it first: an infected emerged from behind one of the shelves, donned in a lab coat and covered in blood. There was just one. We could handle just one, no problem. It started to growl and twitch and Nayoung noticed, readying her axe. I pointed my gun at it anyway, just to be safe--

__

\--Only for another infected I hadn’t seen to plow straight into me from the side. I lost my footing, since it hadn’t been too sturdy anyway, and fell to the ground _hard_. My grip on my pistol faltered, and my head slammed unforgivingly against the linoleum. _Ow_. My vision blurred slightly. I was disoriented, without a weapon, with an infected on top of me.

__

“ _Heejin!!_ ” Nayoung called out to me, but she had her own monster to deal with.

__

I tried desperately to keep its teeth from my neck, pressing my small hands against its chest, but it was stronger than me. Way stronger than me. I was gonna die. I couldn’t keep it away, I just couldn’t, and Nayoung wasn’t there, and--

__

\--the next second, it was off me. Hoseok had slammed his baton into its head with such intense force that its skull nearly caved in, the severity of the blow alone literally enough to kill it. Its blood splattered my face as its body went limp, falling to the floor at my side. Hoseok extended a hand down to me and I took it, my head throbbing slightly as he pulled me to my feet. He reached forward and brushed the blood from my forehead clumsily with the back of his hand, grimacing in slight disgust.

__

“I...” I wasn’t sure what to say. That was probably my closest brush with death yet. He didn’t say anything to me, just nodded vaguely and walked back over to the counter. Nayoung had killed the monster that’d attacked her but was having a hard time prying her axe from its chest because of her arm. I followed Hoseok to the counter and he helped me vault over it with him.

__

He moved to Nayoung and helped to get the axe out. She didn’t even seem to care about it, instead rushing straight toward me. “Are you okay? Damn you went _down_ , did you hit your head?” She unexpectedly pulled me close to her, the hug shortlived but impossibly comforting.

__

I took a deep, much needed breath, my chest tight. “Uh, yeah... it’s fine, are you okay? Your arm...” I looked at it. It was bleeding more than before. She must’ve messed it up somehow during all that commotion.

__

She shrugged. “It’s... yeah, it kinda hurts...” Wow, I was amazed she actually admitted that she could feel pain for once. She looked over her shoulder. Hoseok was rattling the door’s handle, but it wouldn’t budge. “It’s locked,” She explained, “Check that fucker, he’s got a lab coat. Might have the keys.” She gestured toward the zombie she’d killed and Hoseok started to root through its pockets. Nayoung clutched at her wound, gritting her teeth.

__

The jingling of keys was the best sound I’d heard all day. Hoseok quickly opened that door, and we all finally let out a collective breath of relief. It was fully stocked. Untouched. Oh thank _god_. Hoseok smiled weakly, heading inside and starting to load things into a plastic bag he grabbed. Nayoung joined him, rooting through pill bottles before finding one in particular and handing it to me.

__

“Take some of these. It’ll help with your foot.” The two kept loading up as many supplies as we could carry. I took two pills from the bottle, they were some sort of pain medicine.

__

Hoseok glanced over at Nayoung. “With all this stuff, your arm’ll be fine. But how about we treat it in the car? I’m not a big fan of this place.”

__

That was something we could all agree on.

__

***

__

“There,” Hoseok muttered, finishing tying the bandage around Nayoung’s wound. He’d cleaned it and treated it thoroughly, under her own instruction. She seemed annoyed she couldn’t do it herself, and I was arguably still a bit rattled from my near death experience so I couldn’t quite steady my hands enough to manage it either. “We have enough supplies to change this if it gets worn out. We should probably do that every few days.”

__

We’d taken everything from that supply room. The trunk was loaded with plastic bags full of medicine and bandages and all sorts of things. It was nice to know we had that stuff, at least as long as we kept this car. The painkillers I’d taken were starting to kick in, and damn did it help to not have that constant dull throbbing in my ankle.

__

Nayoung took a deep breath, rolling her sleeve back down over the bandages. They bulged slightly beneath her shirt, but she didn’t seem to care. “Thanks. Feels less sticky, but it still hurts like a bitch.”

__

Hoseok chuckled weakly. “Yeah, well just keep popping pills. It’ll take the edge off, but nothing’s gonna cure a bullet in your arm.” He sat back in the passenger’s seat, looking over his shoulder at me. “How’s your head?”

__

I blinked twice, having forgotten I’d even hit it. “Um... fine. Thank you...” I wasn’t sure what I was thanking him for - the concern for my wellbeing or the fact that he’d saved my life back there. Maybe both, but I don’t think he caught the deeper meaning. “Nayoung, how much farther until we get to your town...?” I asked, my mind wandering. There were a lot of things to think about still.

__

I hadn’t fully considered the morality behind Hoseok killing those two men back in the city, and my complacency in the matter, and I had barely even fully processed the fact that the infection was far-reaching enough to go past the city. How much further had it spread? Where had it come from? Could we stop it? Whose fault was this? Was it anyone’s fault? There were so many huge questions, and I knew I wasn’t going to get an answer to any of them any time soon, if at all, which was so endlessly _frustrating_. And of course, I wondered about Hyunjin. I _always_ wondered about Hyunjin, every single second. I wondered if she’d gotten out of the city, like Nayoung had said she may have, if she’d found the map I’d left, if she was even... okay. God, was I thinking about Hyunjin. I wondered if it’d even be possible for me to think about anything else.

__

_Please be okay..._ I thought to myself in silent prayer. _Please, I don’t even care about me, just please have Hyunjin be okay. Please._ I clenched my eyes shut and clasped my hands together. I was far from religious, but honestly I’d consider picking it up if it meant Hyunjin would be safe.

__

“It’s not too far. Maybe ten minutes...” Nayoung glanced at me in the rearview mirror. “What’re you praying for back there?” She started the engine and started to drive off down the road.

__

“Nothing, I...” I was embarrassed for some reason. There was no real point in bringing it up anymore. “Nothing.” I looked out the window at the occasional house that we passed, the distant blobs on the horizon of various small towns, and I wondered what chaos was going on within them. I wondered who lived there and what they’d lost, _who_ they’d lost, if they were infected and suffering and dying.

__

We stayed quiet. There wasn’t much to say. We all had our own things to worry about and think over, and we all did so silently. At the very least, the roads out here were clear. Eerily so. The only signs of life was the occasional abandoned, empty car. So we could just drive. Nayoung’s eyes were blank. Eventually she made a turn on this long, rural road, mumbling something to herself about how we were getting closer. She pressed down harder on the gas.

__

“Hold up. There’s someone.” Hoseok spoke up suddenly, his voice wary.

__

Nayoung groaned under her breath. “So? We should keep going.”

__

He nodded in agreement. “You’re right. Just saying. They might pull something, so watch out.”

__

I tuned back into the conversation, looking out the window at where they were referring. Sure enough, there was someone far off down the road. They were alone, and slightly dragging their feet as they walked. They weren’t infected, clearly. Why wouldn’t we help them...? I was sick of treating other people like they were enemies by default. We were all people, all trying to survive from these monsters. We should be on the same side.  
  


“Wait, let’s help.” I spoke up from the backseat. I didn’t care if they shut me down, I at least needed to vocalize this. My guilt wouldn’t let me sit by and be complacent again. We were getting closer to the person. They were walking in our direction, they’d already seen our car coming, and it looked like they’d slowed down at the sight.

__

Nayoung hummed in uncertainty. “Heejin... I dunno, we-- wait.” She slowed the car down abruptly and she leaned forward in her seat, squinting.

__

“Hey, c’mon. Keep going.” Hoseok told her, slapping her arm gently. She grimaced, glaring slightly at him. He hadn’t realized it’d been her injured arm. “Shit, sorry. But c’mon.”

__

“Shut up! I... think I know her.” Nayoung dismissed him, a sense of disbelief and awe evident in her voice. “Shit. Is that really...?” She stepped on the gas again, the girl on the side of the road having stopped in her tracks by that point. I saw now she had a baseball bat in hand. “No fucking way.” Nayoung slammed on her breaks so abruptly I lurched forward in my seat. She lunged suddenly out of the car, and the girl dropped her bat, closing the space and wrapping Nayoung in her arms. Oh. She really did know her.

__

I pushed my own door opened and listened in, intrigued and strangely relieved by what was clearly an unexpected reunion. They were speaking in low tones to each other, the girl clinging to Nayoung with her eyes shut tightly. Her body was shaking. I couldn’t quite overhear, so instead I shut the door and waited. Hoseok stared at them with narrowed eyes and a slight sneer.

__

“She better not bring her.” Hoseok mumbled under his breath.

__

I raised an eyebrow. “What? Why not?” I watched as Nayoung let the girl go, saying something and then moving to pick up the bat she’d dropped. She placed it back into her slightly unsteady hands, the girl saying something with what looked like desperation. Nayoung shook her head, gently brushing her thumb against the girl’s cheek before gesturing toward the car.

__

“Dunno. We can’t really be picking anybody up that we see... not until we know more about what’s going on.” Hoseok crossed his arms, his brow furrowing.

__

“But she’s not just ‘anybody,’ Nayoung knows her.” I defended the situation. I vaguely knew where he was coming from: a place of paranoia and skepticism which was relatively valid in this life-threatening environment. But if you didn’t hold onto and help even the people you knew, what was the point of any of this? His only response was a shrug, still eying the two of them with disapproval.

__

The girl moved to the back of the car, and I scooted away to leave her a space as Nayoung got into the driver’s seat again. “Hey, this is Doyeon.” Nayoung muttered as she started the engine. She didn’t give us much other explanation besides just the name, which probably only made Hoseok even more suspicious and apprehensive about this situation. 

__

_**** _

**_Kim Doyeon_**

Doyeon buckled her seatbelt, catching her breath. There was soot on her cheek, as well as some blood splattered on the jersey that she wore. Her hair was disheveled. I extended my hand to her and she shook it gently, still trembling. After the handshake she tied her long, slightly curled hair into a tight ponytail, and I spotted a few small cuts along her defined jaw.

__

“I’m Heejin.” I told her softly, her uneven breaths filling the air with that familiar, life-threatening tension we’d been blissfully relieved of for the past hour. Hoseok didn’t introduce himself, even though this was the opportunity for him to do so. Worried he’d just decide to remain silent, I spoke up on his behalf. “That’s Hoseok.”

__

She nodded shakily, but was thoroughly distracted. Her focus was centered on Nayoung, she’d barely even glanced at me when I’d told her my name. She frantically spoke up as soon as I’d finished the impromptu introduction. “You aren’t really thinking about going back are you? Nayoung I--”

__

“That’s where we’re headed.” Nayoung stated firmly, her voice different from before. There was something new behind her eyes, a determination that hadn’t been there before.

__

Doyeon leaned closer, out of her seat. “Nayoung-ah, no, it’s totally trashed. There was a fire, it was already spreading when I left and--” The panic behind her eyes was only getting more and more intense the further Nayoung drove down this road. She really didn’t want us to go to Nayoung’s town. Presumably, she’d come from there, and she was all by herself, splattered in blood and speckled in soot. So... not a great sign.

__

Nayoung gripped the wheel with white knuckles, interrupting Doyeon again. “--Did you check on mom, is she--?”

__

“--It’s chaos.” Doyeon blurted out, only realizing after the fact the implications it had for Nayoung. Her voice got quiet and soft, trying to be less harsh. “I-I’m lucky I even made it out.”

__

Nayoung slowed the car down for a second, her head tilting downward. A lingering silence spread and it felt like it was choking the life out of me. I wondered if I should speak up, intervene, but I felt like I didn’t know enough about the situation. Not to mention I wasn’t even sure what the relationship was between these two.

__

Nayoung stepped back down on the gas, turning on a slightly curved road. “I... I need to see it.” Her voice trembled and shook - with instability, not uncertainty. She was more than certain.

__

Doyeon leaned forward again, gripping onto the back of Nayoung’s seat. The desperation in her eyes was deeply unsettling. That was coming from somewhere real, somewhere _deep_. “No, are you crazy?! We shouldn’t go back there.” She was dead serious, and that meant something, regardless of how little I knew her.

__

If anything, Nayoung just drove faster. We rounded a corner and I saw something in the distance, a plume of dark, black smoke rising up from what looked like the skyline of a small town. Uh-oh. Was that where all the soot on Doyeon came from...?

__

“I need to _see_ it.” Nayoung insisted. I understood where she was coming from. She needed the confirmation. She needed to witness it herself, or all the unknowns would drive her crazy. That was exactly how I felt about Hyunjin, and my heart wrenched from empathy, but that didn’t make this a good idea.

__

Doyeon tightened her grip on Nayoung’s seat, digging her manicured nails into the leather. “Don’t, Nayoung--” Unexpectedly, she looked to me. As if she wanted me to intervene somehow, to back her up. Oh. Maybe I should.

__

“Hang on, let’s just... maybe we can compromise.” I tried to be reasonable, and both parties seemed more than ready to jump down my throat from even the concept of that, but I spoke up again before either of them had a chance to interrupt. “Nayoung, we can go. _But_ , we don’t leave the car.”

__

She scoffed, turning to look at me. “What?? What good’ll that do, I--”

__

“--It’s too risky. If we lose this car we lose all the stuff we just got from the pharmacy, and I’ll have to walk on my bad foot.” Her face changed. Despite how desperate she did seem, my earlier assumption that she was totally irrational hadn’t been right. She clearly was shaken from my reasoning. She knew we needed those supplies, both for me, her own arm, and if any of us got more injured. She knew this car was a fucking godsend, and we’d gotten way beyond lucky to even find it. My request was the fairest compromise I could come up with on the spot, and I feel like everyone in the car was aware of that, begrudgingly or not.

__

She let out a heavy sigh, staring off at that ominous plume of smoke in the distance. “Fine...”

__

Doyeon let out a breath of frustration, but seemed to realize that she was outnumbered here. She leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms and shutting her eyes. Another silence spread. It seemed like Hoseok was absolutely stewing, but I wasn’t sure what to do about that. Instead, I dared to speak up cautiously, my voice smaller and more timid than before.

__

“Um... how do you two know each other?” My question seemed to catch them off guard, as if they hadn’t expected anyone to wonder.

__

Nayoung answered first, “Friends from high school.”

__

Doyeon scoffed subtly, “Not at first.”

__

A small semblance of a smile played across Nayoung’s lips from the comment, and I found myself impossibly intrigued by the history clearly between these two. Doyeon was smirking too. Despite all the commotion and chaos and unanticipated arguing about our destination, there was an underlying sense of relief that these two had found one another despite everything. Deep down, it made me hopeful. Hopeful that if they’d managed to find one another, that I’d be able to find Hyunjin. It was the first real glimpse of hope I’d felt in a long time, and it was still such a small little flicker of it.

__

Nayoung hadn’t mentioned Doyeon at any point along the way, maybe she’d been scared to even let herself hope that she’d be okay. I was feeling that way. I’d had friends on campus, for instance, and I hadn’t even let myself start to hope for them. What was the point...? They were probably gone. Like most people. Nayoung was just as, if not more reasonable than I was, so she probably also had assumed the worst for her friends back home, but here Doyeon was.

__

Doyeon sighed, brushing some soot from her exposed legs. “She tutored me in history. I was a uh, reluctant pupil.”

__

Nayoung chuckled, “To be classified as a pupil you have to actually show up to the sessions.”

__

Doyeon started to playfully defend herself, the banter between the two seamless and natural - the type you’d expect between only the closest sort of friends. “Um, bitch, you shouldn’t have even _been_ my tutor cuz you got your answers to all the history tests by beating up the nerds like some sort of jock on a damn teenage sitcom--”

__

“--You’re one to talk, you were the most stereotypical ditzy cheerleader on this earth, I--”  
  


“--Don’t you _even_!” Doyeon feigned defensiveness from the jab, smiling broadly all the way. Nayoung didn’t retort that time, just smirking to herself, but as the seconds wore on, reality seemed to set back in for all of us. We got quiet. The levity to the air dissolved just as quickly as it’d manifested, and everyone’s smiles faded. The reminiscing had been nice, even just as a bystander to it, but by then we’d gotten closer to the town. And we could really see it.

__

It was impossible to tell where the fire had originated from. All you could see was how much it’d spread. It had completely engulfed nearly half the buildings, and it was still raging. I kept my eye on Nayoung. The flames reflected in her eyes eerily, and her expression was totally blank. I wondered what I’d do if I saw my hometown being burned to ashes, and I wasn’t sure. It was hard to put yourself in that situation, even hypothetically. If I’d been sitting next to her I would’ve rested my hand on her knee, but I wasn’t. Instead, I stayed respectfully silent as we drew even nearer.

__

Doyeon was getting increasingly uneasy the closer we got. “Nayoung...” She spoke, and the concerned, cautionary tone to her voice only made Nayoung increase the car’s speed.

__

“Nayoung, please be careful, this place is fucking infested I--”  
  


“--I’ll be careful.” Nayoung dismissed her. Doyeon hadn’t been kidding, though. It didn’t take much longer before I spotted the infected. They were everywhere. This town sort of reminded me of how chaotic the city had been last night - right when the infection was first starting to spread and everything descended into hell. There were monsters, of course, but from what I could see there were also a few people - running for their lives, tripping and being set upon by dozens of the things all at once. A few lucky ones managed to climb on top of roofs or find weapons, but most didn’t get that luxury.

__

Nayoung pulled onto a street, her hyperfocus returning to her when she realized how skillfully she’d have to maneuver the car again to avoid crashing. Although we were a _little_ safer with one barrier between us and the disaster outside, we were far from protected. I clutched my pistol to my chest, ready to shoot if I had to, not liking that I was the one stuck sitting right next to the window that’d gotten cracked earlier.

__

Someone rushed out in front of our car, literally in flames. Doyeon gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. I think she recognized him. Nayoung didn’t run him over, instead slamming on her breaks. The poor man leaned over the hood of our car, looking at us, and with all the fire peeling away at his skin I couldn’t even tell if he was a monster or not. It didn’t take long for him to succumb to it, but... we’d just _watched_ that happen. My stomach started to churn from queasiness, and I wasn’t the only one affected. Nayoung’s eyes got distant and she didn’t start driving again until a passing infected spotted us, slamming its fist straight into Doyeon’s window. She yelped, jumping away instinctively, and I readied my gun, but Nayoung was already driving again, turning onto a new street.

__

“Oh my god, that’s Byungchul, Nayoung, that’s--” Doyeon pointed frantically at a boy we passed. Nayoung had to slow the car down because of a semi-truck in front of us, and she glanced over, but didn’t let herself look for long. The boy was a bit younger than us, and he was running from a pack of infected, but one of them grabbed his leg and sank its teeth into his ankle.

__

“--I know...” Nayoung shut her eyes. I could hardly imagine how hard this must’ve been for them, I felt it vicariously but that must’ve only been a fraction of it.

__

“We have to help him!! We have to--” Doyeon actually reached to open her door, but Hoseok pressed a button and locked the car. Doyeon’s head whipped toward him, her eyes glossy.

__

“No. One bit him. There’s no point.” He was vigilant of our surroundings. He’d seen it too. It was the harsh truth but he wasn’t wrong.

__

Doyeon just seemed indignant and confused, “What?? Why does that matter?!” Oh. She didn’t know. To be fair, Nayoung and I hadn’t known either. Hoseok had to tell us, too, back in the police station.

__

He looked at Doyeon with something different behind his eyes. “That’s how it spreads. That’s why all of this is happening...” His eyes narrowed again in that judgemental, prying way they always did. “Were you bitten?”

__

The air to the car shifted drastically, and Nayoung, who’d started driving again, slammed on her breaks suddenly. Not from a roadblock this time. No, this time, she felt the need to turn her head to him. Jesus _Christ_ if looks could kill. She wasn’t even staring daggers, she was staring axes. Hoseok was utterly unfazed and didn’t retract his question.

__

Doyeon was put on the spot, still confused, but thankfully said the best thing she probably could’ve: “No.” I almost got relieved, assuming that’d be the end of this, but I was wrong.

__

“Why should we trust you?” He asked.

__

Nayoung’s fist slammed into the side of his face. He fell hard against his door and grimaced, but didn’t make much noise. I think he’d expected it. Hell, he barely even reacted.

__

I leaned forward in my seat, speaking up and moving to press my hand against Nayoung’s shoulder to keep her from hitting him anymore. “Hey, _stop_.” Nayoung backed down, glowering still, but turned her attention back to the road. She sped up, turning corners and heading to what I assumed must’ve been her mom’s house. “We just have to trust her, Hoseok. Alright? We can take people on their word, yaknow.” I told him, not bothering to keep back the sarcastic sting to my words.

__

Doyeon was far from amused with the mistrust, and I didn’t quite blame her, but she thankfully didn’t lash out like Nayoung had. If we’d been in a different environment, I don’t think she would’ve punched him like that, but she was at the end of her rope here. She was coming unhinged, I could tell from the way her breathing grew erratic and how she gripped the steering wheel so hard she was almost peeling the plastic up with her nails.

__

When Nayoung pulled onto a new street, I heard her next breath get caught in her throat. Doyeon visibly tensed up, pursing her lips. This must’ve been where her mom lived. I could tell it used to be a nice, quiet, rural street, but it was hellish now. It seemed like the fire had originated from here, because these houses were damn near collapsing. Beams had fallen, rooftops had caved in, entire lawns were set ablaze. A group of local firefighters hovered by a firetruck, the huge hose left forgotten and still spewing water out into the road as they tried to fend off a pack of infected. God, I _hated_ seeing this. There was so much _blood_ , and you could see that these poor people were really fighting for their lives, but I knew that if we tried to help them we’d just get overwhelmed. I wondered if Nayoung knew them. Had she been a firefighter here, too - before she moved to the city? Her eyes were wide.

__

Taking a deep, quaking breath, she pulled the car around the firetruck. I shut my eyes when one of the firemen desperately pounded against my window, even trying to pull my door open, but Hoseok had locked it. I didn’t want to see that, see the desperation in his eyes or hear the pleading in his voice and just... ignore it. My chest was so tight it felt like I couldn’t breathe. My hands started to shake violently.

__

“Fuck.” Nayoung spoke up suddenly, the tone to her voice heartbreaking to hear. She stopped the car in the middle of the road, staring at a house. It was probably the most burnt one I’d seen. It looked like there had been an upper floor at some point, but it had been so consumed by the fire that it’d collapsed into the first one. It’d even spread to the front lawn, to what had once been a well-kept garden. Everything was in flames. It was... totally unsalvageable. Nayoung stared. She stared, and stared, and her lip started to quiver.

__

Doyeon reached forward, resting her hand on Nayoung’s shoulder and squeezing it gently. Oh. This must’ve been her mom’s house. Where she’d grown up, for what was probably most of her life. Even Hoseok stayed quiet, staring down at his hands without even a trace of a sneer anymore. I scooted to the edge of my seat, gently resting my hand on Nayoung’s forearm.

__

“I’m sorry.” Doyeon whispered so quietly it was almost inaudible. Her eyes were glossy too. If these two were really as close as I thought, Doyeon probably knew Nayoung’s mom as well. They were both... I couldn’t describe it as anything besides devastated. I wasn’t certain, but it seemed like this was Nayoung’s last effort. Her mom was the last person she had, and now...

__

I was just unspeakably glad that she’d found Doyeon. Maybe she could help with the coping and grieving process that was to come, because although I definitely cared about Nayoung - of _course_ I did - I wasn’t sure if I’d be any help with this. I’d never lost someone. Not really, not anyone this close. I mean... my mom lived really far away, hours away, so I... sort of just prayed and assumed she was alright. And... just the _thought_ of _anything_ happening to Hyunjin made me almost lose my mind. I couldn’t _imagine_ what I’d do if...

__

One of the firefighters slammed his hands against the back window. They were bloody and left stains that streaked down when an infected tackled him to the road. More infected swarmed closer and tried to latch onto the back of our car. Nayoung sniffled once, blinked hard, and forced herself to step on the gas.

__

But wait. Hyunjin. The map. This was the spot I’d circled on the map, I’d told her to come here.

  
“Wait--” All eyes moved to me, and Nayoung slowed down, but those infected were still on our tail. “--I-I need to leave some sort of sign for Hyunjin, I-I told her that I’d--”

__

“--Heejin. Stop.” Nayoung told me harshly. Her voice was empty and bitter.

__

Doyeon, who was far from filled in on the situation at hand, felt the need to speak up too. “You can’t go out there, are you insane??” She didn’t understand. Yeah, maybe I was insane, but if by some slim chance Hyunjin did find my map, and she was heading here, and there was no sign that I’d ever been here, what would she do? What would _I_ do?? I looked out the window. At the fire, at the infected who by that point had caught up to the back of the car and were pounding their hands against the window.

__

Fuck.

__

There were too many infected. The fire was still spreading, even to the road by that point. My mind was running so fast, trying to come up with something I could leave for Hyunjin for her to know I’d been there. I didn’t have time to brainstorm. I didn’t have time for anything. There just wasn’t any time.

__

Nayoung didn’t wait any longer. One of the infected pounded against the back window so hard that it shattered. Doyeon ducked her head, panicking as their hands reached in and tried to grab us, but Nayoung was already driving. She sped off down the road, veering around any obstacles in her way and going faster than she ever had before. Her breathing was still erratic. I could see the tears clinging to her eyelashes, and I felt my own eyes start to burn.

__

My chest was tight. My heart was beating out of my chest. That was it. I couldn’t show Hyunjin where I went. So... what was left to do? How else would I search for her? Would I even search for her? Or did everyone here think I was too delusional to even bother to help me anymore? I couldn’t do it by myself. I was weak and injured, and I needed more than just determination. So... that was it. I couldn’t look for her anymore. I couldn’t look, and I may never see her again.

__

I started to cry. I couldn’t help it. The first sob hit me like a ton of bricks and I clamped my hand firmly over my mouth, trying desperately to muffle it. I felt stupid. So utterly _stupid_. If I’d been able to defend myself back in that kitchen, I probably could’ve made my way out. Hyunjin and I could’ve been in this together, from the start, if I’d just been able to defend myself. Now we were separated and I didn’t even know if she was alive. And I couldn’t cope with it. I just didn’t know how, I’d never had to cope with something like this, so it all just hit me at once and I didn’t know what to do. I hunched over and just kept crying, trying to stop, trying so _desperately_ to just _stop_ and shut up and focus on trying to help us get out of here alive any way that I could.

__

Doyeon reached over, gently rubbing her hand along my back, sniffling to herself as well. Nayoung just kept driving. She drove and drove, and none of us said anything, and I knew we were only getting further from town. Further from the only sign I’d given Hyunjin as to where I was going.

__

I knew I should’ve been grateful I was alive, grateful I could still sort of cling to hope because I didn’t know for sure that she was... gone, but what were the odds that I’d see her again...? All things considered, what were the odds?

__

I stopped crying eventually, but I just kept my face buried in my hands and tried not to think about anything anymore.


	19. Gone

_Meanwhile, back in the city..._

**_Chaewon_ **

“Come on... we’re almost outside.” I spoke up weakly, keeping my voice hushed so as not to draw any unwanted attention to us. My chest was tight. Sooyoung had left it up to me again. Sure, she technically gave off less authoritative vibes than Jungeun had - she wasn’t a soldier and she didn’t have a giant, terrifying gun, but damn did she scare me. Even after I’d watched Hyunjin knock her flat, she’d recovered from that really fast, and she still stood her ground. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to do something like that.

Hyejoo was right behind me, walking so close that whenever I stopped for a moment to make sure we were on the right path, she’d physically bump into my backpack, always mumbling an incredibly quiet “Sorry,” before stepping back. If I hadn’t been so focused on making sure I led us in the right direction, I would’ve made sure to tell her not to apologize. Knowing she was staying literally as close as she could was impossibly reassuring. Having her near me was just reassuring overall. She made me feel like things were okay. I don’t really know why. I have no real answer for it, but I think she felt the same.

We reached the end of the alley I’d led us through and I hesitated instead of stepping out onto the street, as per usual. I took deep, long breaths, trying to steady myself, and unexpectedly felt Hyejoo clasp my hand.

“You’re doing great...” She muttered to me low enough so that Sooyoung and Jiwoo wouldn’t be able to hear. “You’re really brave.”

I chuckled slightly under my breath, my whole body still shaking. All the pressure of needing to keep these three safe and not lead us astray was making me feel like I was close to breaking down. At least once we were outside of the city, my sense of direction would drastically decrease to the point where anyone else could guide us as well as I could. So It wouldn’t be up to me anymore. God was I looking forward to that. I was _not_ built to lead.

“Not brave,” I muttered back to her. “I’m so terrified right now.”

She tightened her grip on me. “Me too.” She whispered the confession, a light blush coming to her cheeks. “But... shut up. You’re still brave because you’re doing it even though you’re scared.”

I shook my head weakly, but smiled at her. “Thanks.”

She squeezed my hand firmly, then let me go. Sooyoung had given her a knife that she’d randomly pulled from her boot, which she clutched with white knuckles in her other hand. It had dried blood on it, which was uh, morbid. It was weird to see Hyejoo wielding it. I knew it would help keep her safe, but still... I dunno.

“What’s the holdup?” Sooyoung piped up from behind me. She was taking up the rear, revolver in hand. That only had six bullets, right...? Ah. That wasn’t a lot of bullets. I swallowed hard.

“N-Nothing! Sorry.” Hyejoo shot me an apologetic look when she heard my slight stutter. Not addressing it, I just poked my head out of the alley, looking both ways.

And I froze.

There was a car down the road - a van, with two men standing outside of it. They were arguing over something in hushed tones, too far away for me to hear. For a few lingering moments I just stared. I wasn’t sure what to do. This was our first time really seeing other people that weren’t infected or trying to shoot us, and it was kind of surreal to be reminded that we weren’t the only ones still alive.

“What?” Sooyoung spoke up again, sounding frustrated. Not at me, probably just at the fact that we were staying still for so long. She’d mentioned she’d wanted to go as fast as possible, and Jiwoo had seconded that goal. I mean, so did I, but not when it was up to me to guide us and there was an added pressure of doing it fast.

“Um... there’s...” I wasn’t sure what to say. I just watched for a little while longer, until suddenly the men clammored into the car and started driving. Down the road. Toward us.

**_Sooyoung_ **

I heard the engine before Chaewon even needed to tell us about the car, and I reached forward, tugging the younger girl back further into the alley and pulling she and Hyejoo along with me as I ducked low. The car sped past. I caught a slight glimpse of two scruffy looking men still bickering behind the wheel. They kept driving erratically, swerving slightly along the road, but I didn’t give the signal to stand back up until I couldn’t hear that engine anymore.

Jiwoo spoke weakly from my side. She’d been quiet ever since we’d separated from the rest of the group, and I couldn’t really blame her. We hadn’t quite parted on good terms, and she was definitely more connected to the others than I’d been. Her mind had been too preoccupied for her to talk, so her voice caught me a bit off guard.

“Why’d we hide? They might’ve been able to help us. It wouldn’t hurt to have a car...” She stood up a bit slower than the rest of us.

I shook my head firmly, releasing my tight grip on Chaewon’s arm. Hyejoo clung onto her like usual. “No. We can’t just trust people like that, Jiwoo.” I nudged Chaewon gently, wordlessly showing her that we should keep going now that the way was clear. She nodded and started to head forward again, taking a sharp left onto the road and sticking close to the wall.

“Why not?” Jiwoo lowered her voice once we were out and exposed on an actual road.

“I know you want to, but people aren’t...” I wasn’t sure how to word this. Strangely enough, I found it hard to be harsh with Jiwoo - which wasn’t true for anyone else. “When things get crazy, and it’s every man for himself, things change. You can’t expect people to act the same anymore. Alright?” I made sure to stop and match her gaze. Jiwoo was optimistic and trusting. It was just in her nature, anyone could see that, but in this situation that was a recipe for disaster. No matter how badly I wanted to, I couldn’t always look out for her. If something happened and she was on her own, that optimism might get her killed. “Normally, yeah. I would’ve asked those guys for help. But not anymore. Because what if they need help too, and what if they try to take what we have because they think they need it more? What then?”

“Alright, I get it.” Jiwoo mumbled to herself. Her tone was different than I’d ever heard it before, and she avoided my gaze. Oh. Maybe I’d laid it on too thick. I hadn’t meant to talk down to her.

“Sorry...” I muttered, bringing my focus back to Chaewon and Hyejoo as they silently sidled along the wall. There was no more skyline to look at now, only the distant countryside.

Chaewon let out an audible breath, looking over her shoulder to whisper. “Um-- Sooyoung?”

“What?”

She flinched from my response. It seemed like she was scared of me. She really didn’t need to be. I mean, I’d been called intimidating before, even bitchy, but that was mainly by men so I didn’t count it. It wouldn’t hurt to be read as intimidating by other people in this setting, and that’s sort of what I’d been trying to convey earlier, but now? It wouldn’t do any good for these girls to be scared of me.

“Just... um, we’re basically out of the city now. I-I won’t be much help anymore, I don’t know where Jiwoo lives, so...” She trailed off, leaving me to fill in the blanks.

Jiwoo did so herself, stepping past me to instead walk to the front of the group. “I’ll take the lead, then. It’s gonna be a long walk. Few hours, probably.” I instinctively stuck to her side, not liking to have her so far ahead. Hyejoo and Chaewon stayed as a duo right behind us. I made sure to clasp Chaewon’s hand with a more gentle grip than before as I passed her, and she flinched again from the unexpected contact.

“Thank you. Seriously. I would’ve gotten us turned around, I have a shit sense of direction.” Chaewon’s eyes changed, the panicked glint to them softening ever so slightly as she nodded sheepishly. Hyejoo stared on as a silent observer. I was pretty sure I hadn’t heard her utter a single word since we’d met.

Jiwoo started walking and I stuck to her side. Nobody said much of anything for a long time. The further we’d gotten from the heart of the city, the less disarray was visible. It made me sort of hopeful, though I definitely was more apprehensive to put stock in this plan than Jiwoo was. Maybe outside the city _was_ okay. Or at least better - more under control. Honestly I’d take anything if it was an improvement over the hell we’d just been through. After walking for more than ten minutes we’d already entered a thicket of trees. Not a forest, but even the small change of setting was enough to finally put me at a ease for the first time in what felt like forever. I wasn’t relaxed, but I felt safer.

I glanced over my shoulder. Chaewon and Hyejoo were hanging back a bit, talking to each other softly. Jiwoo stayed quiet. She definitely knew the way by heart, so I wasn’t worried about that, but I was worried about the state she was in. I’d only known her for a day and even I could tell it wasn’t normal. One thing in particular stood out to me as a potential explanation, and without much thinking, I brought it up.

“So... Jungeun.” I tucked the revolver into my back pocket. It was weighty and carrying it was starting to strain my wrist.

She glanced at me briefly, but was mainly staring down at her feet. “What about her...?”

We didn’t have much else to do besides let our worries eat us alive, or talk. So I might as well take the opportunity to ask the questions I’d been wondering. “You’ve been friends a long time?”

She nodded, reaching up and fiddling with her bangs idly. “Best friends, yeah. Since we were really little, my whole life basically.”

My brow furrowed. I’d sort of suspected that, but it also didn’t quite add up. “Huh.”

She tilted her head at me. “What?”

I shrugged. “Nothing, just... kinda weird she didn’t want to come with us.” It didn’t make any sense. I’d witnessed their little reunion, and although I’d been snarky at the time, I couldn’t deny that it was sort of heartwarming. Jungeun was clearly relieved to find Jiwoo alive, so why was she so eager to separate from her? I’d only just met Jiwoo and I didn’t want to separate from her, reluctant as I was to admit that to anyone, even myself. Jiwoo got really quiet after my observation. Too quiet. I readily took it back. “Sorry. That was out of line.”

She quickly spoke again, “No, you... no.”

Alright... even if that wasn’t out of line, I wasn’t gonna mention it again. So I changed the topic somewhat. “Why did she join the army?”

She shifted the weight of her guitar on her back. I wondered if it was heavy, and considered for a second offering to carry it for her, but realized she probably wouldn’t let anyone else touch it because of the whole sentimental value thing. “Her parents pressured her into it, but...” The way she trailed off caught my attention.

“But what?”

Her pace slowed and mine matched it. “She was getting... kind of distant, even before then...” It seemed like she was realizing it only at that moment, when I’d made her think about it.

“How come?” I turned my head to look at her. Her eyes had changed slightly.

“I... I dunno...”

That wasn’t true. I knew it wasn’t, and that deep down, she had at least a suspicion, but I wasn’t gonna pry anymore. I felt like I already had quite enough. There was obviously history there, but just because I was nosey didn’t mean she was obligated to tell me.

**_Hyejoo_ **

“I wish I never lived in the city.” I muttered under my breath. Even though we’d been walking for what felt like more than an hour, I still had the ingrained instinct to stay quiet. I didn’t want those things hearing us, in case any of them were still around. There were trees all over now instead of buildings, grass and dirt instead of asphalt. 

Chae looked at me curiously. “How come?”

“I hated it there.” I stated with a slight sneer. “How crowded it was, all those ugly buildings, the traffic and the noise... I always wanted to live out here. Where there’s nature and some peace and quiet.”

She nodded. “Me too, now that I think about it. I love nature. Always have...” She shifted the weight of her backpack, and I could vaguely hear the sound of the rocks inside. Hell, I still had about half a dozen in my own bag, and I was treating them as precious cargo just like she was. “Oooh!” She stopped walking suddenly, and I did with her. Sooyoung heard the exclamation and looked over her shoulder at us, gripping her revolver that she’d tucked away and getting ready to pull it out. Jiwoo readied her big metal pipe, too, clasping it with both hands.

“What? What is it?” Sooyoung asked dauntingly.

“Nothing! Nothing, I-- sorry! It’s nothing!” Chaewon called out to her, instead bending over and picking something up off the road. It was a rock, an oval-shaped, flat rock with a shiny surface. It glistened in the fleeting rays of sunlight. Chae looked absolutely enthralled by it.

“Is that a rock...?” Jiwoo asked her with a raised eyebrow.

“Um... it’s, uh--” I watched as Chae’s pale cheeks were darkened by an embarrassed blush. I knew how sensitive she was about her rocks. She hid it in a clenched fist. Jiwoo must’ve only caught a glimpse.

“--Not a rock. I dropped something, that’s all.” I spoke in a firm, steady voice, something I didn’t think Chae would’ve been able to manage.

Sooyoung nodded. It was pretty believable. “Alright. Well let’s keep going.”

“We’re almost there, actually. At least it’s nice out...” Jiwoo muttered, starting to walk again. Sooyoung stuck to her side like glue, as per usual. I mean, I was one to talk. I didn’t like to be more than five feet from Chaewon if I could help it.

Chae showed me the rock she’d found, flipping it over twice and examining it thoroughly. “Thanks... dunno why I couldn’t just say yes. Not like they’d care.”

I shrugged, accepting it when she lifted my hand up by the wrist and set the smooth, silky rock atop my palm. “It’s pretty. I like this one.”

Her face lit up with a broad, bright smile. I couldn’t help but smile shyly back at her, she looked so happy. I hadn’t even said much. “Here.” She clasped my hand, curling my fingers around the rock on my behalf. “This one’s yours.”

For some reason I felt myself blushing. “Oh... no, you found it, it’s--”

“--I have plenty, did you forget?” She smiled. I... really liked her smile. She ran a gentle circle on the back of my hand with her thumb. “This is your first one! That’s so exciting! What’re you gonna name it? Do you have a name for it?” I blinked at her, at a total loss for words. She laughed airily. “Sorry I didn’t mean to put you on the spot! Naming isn’t easy, sometimes it’d take me a day or so before--”

“--Butterfly.” I blurted something out, the name leaving my lips without much thought. It was instinctive.

Her eyes sparkled as she beamed at me, grinning ear-to-ear, “Ah! That’s a pretty name, how come?”

Oh. My heart skipped a beat. It... was because of the fluttering I’d gotten in my chest when she held my hand like that. From... from the butterflies. Oh. Wait. What did that mean...? I hadn’t let myself think, I’d just said what I’d felt, and... I’d felt butterflies. I’d never really felt those before.

“Um-- I--” I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t sure what to tell her. Not the truth. “--The, the um, I-I saw a butterfly over there.” I pointed weakly to a nearby cluster of bushes.

Chae looked toward them in an instant, “Oh! Where, what color wings did it have? I love butterflies, did I miss it??”

How did she manage to make my chest feel so airy and light? Even now, all things considered? I just smiled at her and stared at her profile, since she was so thoroughly distracted by looking all over for my rock’s fake namesake.

“It flew away.” I told her softly.

“Aww.” She frowned in mild disappointment, taking a long, deep breath. “Well, that’s okay. Maybe we’ll see another one. When we get somewhere safe, maybe in Jiwoo’s town, you can paint it. It’s got a really nice surface, easy to paint, and I brought some colors with me. Not all that I had, but enough to make it pretty.”

I tucked the rock into my front pocket securely, so my hand could be free to hold hers. She intertwined our fingers together in an instant. I made sure to tell her sincerely, “Thank you. I’ll make sure to keep it safe...”

She squeezed my hand. “Keep yourself safe, too.”

I wished I could keep _her_ safe. I wished I didn’t freeze up when I got scared, I wished I was more useful and brave. Like Jungeun, or Haseul even. But now we were on our own. Chae and I were relying mainly on Sooyoung. I wasn’t sure about Jiwoo. If... if things _weren’t_ okay, like we were hoping, if there were more of those monsters in Jiwoo’s town... I wasn’t sure what I’d do. Because that meant that probably nowhere was safe. Where would we go after that...?

“You too...” I muttered, my throat tight. At least she was there with me. No matter what happened, I was grateful for that.

**_Jiwoo_ **

“There it is!” Our group crested a small hill, and I saw my town for the first time in months. I felt my heart in my throat when I finally spotted it: home. It was always super nostalgic to come back for visits or holidays, but now? That feeling was amplified tenfold, since I’d almost died what felt like hundreds of times since I’d last been there. But... there was something else too. A lingering, underlying, _awful_ fear that things wouldn’t be the same here. That the nostalgia would be misplaced.

“It’s tiny.” Sooyoung muttered at my side. She pulled her revolver from her pocket, holding it out in front of her. The blissful moment of nostalgia that consumed me dissipated into thin air. I’d been getting ready for a reunion, for a relaxing reprieve from all this stress and adrenaline, but Sooyoung was getting ready for danger. My face fell.

“Um...” She was probably right to be cautious still. I guessed it was dumb of me to hope. I gripped the pipe in my hand more firmly. “Yeah. It’s no big city.”

Sooyoung noted the change in my tone and turned to meet my eyes. “It’s nice... but we should be careful. Okay?”

“Yeah...” I glanced over my shoulder as Hyejoo and Chaewon caught up with us. They looked at my small, humble little town and seemed just as wary as Sooyoung, gripping their weapons. Damn. I really was the only one who believed in the safety of this plan, huh? Or I guess I was the only one still hopeful. Maybe that wasn’t a good thing anymore, though... “Stay close, everyone, okay?”

The younger girls nodded, and I headed down the hill. Into town.

Main street was abandoned. Just... totally abandoned. All the stores’ shutters were closed. There weren’t any cars, even, where were the cars? There were no signs of life. No people, but no blood, bullets or broken glass either - like how it usually was when things had gone to hell. Okay, okay, so... that was good, right?

“Where is everybody...?” Chaewon asked me weakly. Her voice was quiet, like how it’d been when we were in the city and she didn’t want infected to hear us. Was that a valid worry now...? Were there infected here? If so, where were they? Where was _anybody?_

“Uh...” I wasn’t sure what to say. I didn’t have an answer, especially when I had the same exact question. “I don’t know.” Panic was starting to settle on my shoulders. I didn’t want it to. I didn’t want to break down or lose my cool, I’d brought them all here, it was my responsibility to lead the way and keep things under control now. But... where _was_ everyone?? Did they evacuate, or something? If... if they _were_ infected, where were they? Why weren’t there any signs of struggle, why did it look like everyone had just picked up their stuff and left? “This is Main Street. There’s always people here. Always.” I found myself picking up my pace. Getting frantic. I couldn’t help it. None of this felt right.

Sooyoung reached closer and clasped my hand, holding me in place suddenly. “Jiwoo...”

“W-what?” My chest was tight. It was getting hard to breathe. Why was she looking at me like that? With pity? Like how people had looked at Hyunjin, when she was rooting through the ashes of that building? “What...?” I wasn’t being delusional, I knew I wasn’t. “Look, there’s no blood anywhere. No bullets. Right? I mean... right?”

Sooyoung looked around, examining things closer. I guess she hadn’t caught that. The first and only thing she’d noticed was the confusing lack of people, which definitely wasn’t a good sign. “Hmm. You’re right...” Her brow furrowed, deep in thought. “Well then let’s keep looking. C’mon.” She took the lead now, heading off further down the road. I stuck to her heels, doing my best to keep my breathing even and not let it show through how distraught I was getting.

I’d led them here. If it wasn’t safe it was my fault. If there was nobody left here, if it was full of infected, I... that was my town. Where I grew up, where I met Jungeun, where my parents still lived. I wasn’t sure how I’d respond. I was sort of scared, actually. Scared that I’d shut down or something - I’d heard of that happening, where people just can’t function anymore from things like that. 

Chaewon spoke up again, trying to lighten the air. “Oooh. Candy.” She pointed toward one of the closed up shops, one with a particularly colorful and inviting sign.

I found myself smiling weakly, “That’s Kangmin’s store. When I was little I’d sweep the street outside and he’d pay me in lollipops...” I hoped he was okay. He was a harmless, sweet old man by now. I hoped everyone was okay. My town was so small I could practically name everyone in it, and vice versa. They’d all even thrown me a going away party at the community center when I’d gone off to college. I just wanted to see someone. Anyone. Someone _had_ to be alive, it was okay here, they’d just... gone somewhere else?

“Ugh. I’m hungry...” Hyejoo muttered so softly I almost didn’t hear it.

Sooyoung nodded. “Me too. Once we get somewhere safe, we’ll eat something. Alright?” I didn’t even register what they were saying. Sooyoung looked over her shoulder at me. “Hey. Um... if people here wanted to hole up somewhere safe, is there a place they’d go?” I raised an eyebrow at her, racking my brain. I tried to put myself in the shoes of someone here, to think of the safest spot in town I’d flock to in a disaster. The only thing that came to mind was probably the community center, now that I thought about it. It was the newest building in town, the sturdiest too. “Or not. If you want to go to your house, that works too. But I’m kind of walking blind here.”

Right. Right, I was supposed to lead the way. I stepped forward, in front again.

**_Sooyoung_ **

“My house, I-I, let’s go to my house...” Jiwoo told us haltingly, already moving before she’d even gotten the words out. A desperation emerged, an intense, sudden desperation that I think she’d been trying to keep in. I let her lead the way, sticking close to her side and tightening my grip on my revolver.

This place didn’t feel right. I could tell that it’d been inviting and wholesome once. Cozy. But now? It was empty, and that was more unsettling than if it’d been infested. Where the fuck _was_ everybody? I was glad Hyejoo had asked before I could’ve, cuz I wasn’t sure if I’d have been able to keep the skepticism from my tone, and Jiwoo didn’t need that right now.

She started to go faster - speed walking at first, then breaking into a jog, and eventually a full on run. I kept up effortlessly, looking behind me to make sure that the girls were too. They decided to get closer instead of lagging in the back like earlier on the road. I could see in their eyes that they were getting scared, and they were right to. Hell, I was fucking scared. Scared of a lot of things. Scared of what we’d find at Jiwoo’s house, or even what we wouldn’t find. If Jiwoo’s parents weren’t there, what would she want us to do? Look for them? Where would we even look? And if they were there, but... not themselves, or even dead, jeez, I... I wouldn’t know how to comfort her. That really wasn’t my expertise, and I was more than willing to admit that.

We got off that main street and turned onto a smaller, more narrow one, lined on either side by quaint, welcoming houses. They were incredibly domestic, all complete with nice gardens, rocking chairs on the front porches, that sort of thing - but no cars were in any driveways or garages. What the hell, where the fuck where all the cars? Where were all the people? Where was _anything_? This was surreal as shit to me, and I’d never even been here. I could only imagine how jarring it was for Jiwoo, and I was starting to better understand why she was coming so visibly undone. This shit just didn’t make sense. She’d probably sort of prepared to find her town in shambles, but this was different. It was just a weird shell, and she wasn’t prepared for it.

“Here, h-here, I--” She turned on her heel suddenly, staggering slightly on a lawn. I caught her before she could fully trip but she didn’t so much as glance at me, instead rushing up the steps of a house frantically. Her place. Somehow it fit. There were pretty little daffodils lining the walkway, and what looked like a handmade windchime dangling from a small awning. It was being blown about slightly by a gentle breeze, the sound of it somehow ominous.

She turned the knob but it wouldn’t open. “Shit,” She muttered the curse under her breath and it was sort of jarring to hear her swear, for some reason. “Um, uh, oh--” She stood on her tip-toes and nudged gently at the top of the door frame. A key eventually budged from it, clattering to the ground, and she quickly bent to pick it up. She tried to put it into the lock, but kept fumbling because of how hard her hands shook.

I stepped closer, gently taking the key from her and unlocking the door with ease. Her wide, panicked eyes flitted to me for the briefest of moments, and there was thanks visible in them. That was more than enough. I hadn’t even needed that gesture. The next second, she’d burst inside.

“Mom?! Dad?!” She called out, her voice carrying through a house that I had a foreboding suspicion was empty.

My hand shot forward on its own. I clasped roughly at the back of her shirt - balling up a fistful of my own coat. It got her to turn around and look at me with those panic-stricken, wide eyes. “Too loud.” I whispered to her. She didn’t process it, not even a little. Too much was going on in her brain, and I empathized, but she couldn’t go around screaming. She struggled forward again and I let her loose from my grip. She rushed into some sort of living area, wordlessly searching, and I took the liberty of heading up a staircase at my side. Hyejoo and Chaewon stayed downstairs, hovering by the still open door.

There wasn’t much to this house. It was tiny, especially the upstairs. There wasn’t even a bathroom up here, just a hallway with a room at either end. One of the doors was open halfway, and I could tell from the visible pastel wallpaper and the multitude of plushies on a patterned bedspread that it was Jiwoo’s. The other door was shut. I pursed my lips, braced myself, and pushed it open.

It was definitely her parents’ room. There wasn’t much in it, not much at all. Just a bed. And on that bed were two people. Two... bodies.

I couldn’t help the small gasp that left me. They were dead. I didn’t need to check, I could tell from the way their eyes were open and staring up at the ceiling so blankly. They weren’t infected. There were no bites, and their pupils were that same warm brown as Jiwoo’s, not the eerie milky white. There were pill bottles on the nightstand. A lot of them. They were holding hands. My chest felt hollow. Why had they...?

Footsteps made their way up the stairs. Frantic, rushed ones. That was Jiwoo. She was coming. My hand was still on the doorknob, and I clenched it tightly, my eyes wide and burning.

“A-Are they in there? Did you find anything?” She asked me, her voice still not as quiet as it should’ve been, but much lower than the shout she’d had before. She was trying, doing her best to reign in all that unfiltered panic.

I just stared at her.

What was I supposed to do...?

“Jiwoo...” It felt like my throat was closing up, even from that one, small word. I... wasn’t sure if I could do this. But it wasn’t my place to lie. This wasn’t my information to withhold, it was hers. They were her parents. She should know. She needed closure, no matter how _awful_ this news was, or how hard it would be to tell her. She already heard my tone, and her face changed.

“What?” Her voice was so quiet I could hardly even hear her. The fear audible there was different. I think... she knew. I think she saw it in my expression. I couldn’t hide it. But... she didn’t want to believe it. I couldn’t blame her. More than anything I wished that her parents were okay, that we’d found them healthy and alive to give us answers, that Jiwoo would have another happy, relieving reunion like the one with Jungeun yesterday. But... that just wasn’t the case this time.

“I...” Fuck. I couldn’t say it. I really didn’t think I could. The burning to my eyes got worse, but I blinked firmly, dismissing those stupid tears. Why would _I_ cry? This had nothing to do with me. I had to be strong, I had to keep us together. I took a deep, steadying breath. “Jiwoo, they aren’t... they’re...” _Just say it. Tell her._ I tried to push myself in my head, but as I stared into those innocent eyes, at that lingering hope that started to visibly distinguish the longer the seconds dragged on for, I just couldn’t say another word. She wasn’t stupid. She could infer things just from my reluctance to speak.

“What...?” She realized what I was implying. Her face fell even further. I could practically hear her heart break. “No... wait, no, no no, I--” She surged forward and tried to push past me, into the room. She wanted to see. On sheer instinct alone, I held her back. I gently wrapped my arms around her waist, shaking my head. She looked up at me with glossy eyes and a quivering lip. “No, you’re wrong, I-I don’t believe you--”

“--Jiwoo...” I didn’t even know what I was doing. Should I let her look...? Was it my place to hold her back from this? I... didn’t want to see her break. I didn’t know what to do. I just didn’t know what to do.

She squirmed her way from my grasp and I didn’t tighten my grip. She pushed her way past, straight into that room, and...

She fell to the floor. Collapsed, to her knees, dropping her pipe. As soon as she saw them like that, with those dead eyes, she just... fell. Like she couldn’t even bear to stand anymore. Even on the floor, she stared up at them unblinkingly. My heart wrenched.

“Wh...? Why...?” Jiwoo whimpered out the simple question, the same one I found myself wondering. I took a small step inside, reaching down and picking up one of those pill bottles. Most of them were empty, but one had a bit left. They were sleeping pills. Jiwoo stared down at her hands as they shook violently. I looked closer at the bodies. Her mom held onto something in a tight, enclosed fist resting over her heart. Oh. What was that...?

I stepped closer and slowly pried open her hand. The skin was cold. Jiwoo wasn’t looking at me. I think she was putting absolutely all of her effort into not breaking down into irreparable shards. The shaking of her hands had spread to the rest of her body. Her mom had held onto a picture. It was of a little girl. I could tell it was Jiwoo, from the big smile alone. Oh Jesus. I let the picture go in an instant, watching as it fluttered back to the mattress. It landed upside down. I saw that there was something written on the back and I bent over slightly to read it.

Apparently, everyone in town was “gone.” Jiwoo’s parents had listened to the radio and heard that the city was “destroyed.” Oh. They thought Jiwoo was dead. But she wasn’t. She _wasn’t_. My eyes burned even worse. They’d done this for nothing. If they’d just waited, Jiwoo would’ve come right to them. Fuck. I looked at Jiwoo’s shaking form. She somehow seemed smaller. I knelt down wordlessly at her side. She just sat there, trembling, her eyes wide and red around the rims, but there were no tears. I rested my hand gently on her back. She didn’t even respond to the contact.

“I’m so sorry.” I whispered to her softly, gently kissing the side of her head. That felt like such a stupid thing to say. But it was true, and I had no idea what else to tell her.

She still wasn’t crying. I think she was in some sort of denial, or even shock. People dealt with grief in weird ways, especially if it came on so suddenly like this. Her breathing slowly started to get more and more erratic as the tense seconds wore on. I gave her time. It was the absolute least I could do, though I wished I could’ve given her more.

Finally, she spoke up. “I-I... someone has to be left.” She staggered to her feet, and I stood too. She deliberately turned her head away from her parents, not wanting to look at them any longer. “S-Someone has to be left. Someone, a-anyone--” The next second, she was out the door. Running back down the stairs. Shit.

“Jiwoo, wait,” I quickly rushed after her, scooping up her pipe and the not empty pill bottle before I fully left the room. “Jiwoo!” She was already outside by the time I even got to the top of the staircase. Hyejoo and Chaewon stared up at me, confused as to what had happened and what they were expected to do. “Follow her!” I told them, nearly tripping down the last few steps because I was taking them two at a time.

They nodded weakly, that fear in their eyes only getting more intense as they did as I said. I burst outside after them. They’d stopped on the lawn, staring after Jiwoo, who was already at the end of the road.

“Come on!” I broke into a run, pulling Chaewon along with me and knowing Hyejoo would follow because she was surgically attached to the blonde. I called out to Jiwoo again, desperate for her to stop, “Jiwoo!! Hold on, where are you going?!” She’d gotten too much of a headstart for me to catch up. I thought back to the note from Jiwoo’s mom and how annoyingly vague it had been. What did she mean by everyone was “gone?” Gone how? Dead? Left? Infected? _What?_ I didn’t understand the potential threat here, and that just made it all the more stressful.

I desperately sprinted faster, my muscles aching from the exertion. My eyes were fixed on Jiwoo’s back, but she suddenly ducked out of my sight when she sharply turned a corner. Finally, when I rounded that corner too I nearly bumped straight into her. She’d stopped dead in her tracks, standing still in the middle of the road. I caught her by her arm so she couldn’t run off again.   
  


“Slow down,” I told her, trying to catch my breath, “Just, wait a second, Jiwoo, I-- _oh_.”

A building marked “Community Center” was visible down the street. But that wasn’t what caught my eye, or what had made Jiwoo stop so abruptly. The cars. There were dozens of them, all lining this road. They were all still empty, though - doors left mysteriously ajar. Some seemed to have been purposely turned to make a sort of roadblock. This was where the signs of chaos that’d been lacking from that main street were. There were still no bodies, but there was blood. It looked like every single person in the town had driven to get here, abandoned their cars, and presumably flocked into that building.

Jiwoo started moving again, but I tightened my grip on her. “Wait. No, Jiwoo--”

“--There has to be someone left, Sooyoung!” When she desperately said my name like that, her voice broke. Tears clung visibly to her eyelashes. My face fell. “They’re in there, let me _go_.” She shook off my grasp and broke into a run again before I could grab her again. Shit.

“Jiwoo!! We have to be careful!!” I shouted out. That didn’t stop her. I wasn’t even sure if she’d processed what I’d said. Hyejoo and Chaewon didn’t need my instruction and instead rushed forward on their own, sensing the danger we were in and knowing we couldn’t have Jiwoo running blindly like this.

“Jiwoo wait, c’mon!!” Chae called out to her, stumbling over her own two feet from her haste.

“Please, stop, we don’t know what’s in there!!” The panic and desperation to Hyejoo’s raised voice finally seemed to be enough to give Jiwoo pause. Hell, it even jarred me. I’d never heard Hyejoo talk so loudly before. I glanced at her, at the panic so visible in her eyes. Chaewon stopped mid-step, turning all of her focus to the girl instead of our situation.

Jiwoo stood still begrudgingly, her whole body shaking from the adrenaline I could see coursing straight through her. “I-I need to go in.” She was bouncing up and down on her heels, antsy, and I empathized with her - of course I did - but we needed to be reasonable about this. Or at least, I needed to be reasonable on her behalf, if she couldn’t manage it.

I clasped both of her hands and stood right in her path, her eyes finally meeting mine for the first time since we’d found her parents. “Hey... let’s just think for a second, okay--”

“--I don’t _need_ to _think_ about anything, I just have to go in there!!” She snapped at me and I couldn’t help but flinch. She tugged her hands away, her breathing still uneven. “Quit stopping me, okay?? This is where everyone went!” She gestured around us, at the sea of empty vehicles we were now standing in the midst of. Chae had mumbled a few calming words to Hyejoo and the two stepped close to us now, the dark-haired girl seeming to pull herself together slightly.

“We don’t know that.” Hyejoo muttered sheepishly, seeming uncertain in her intervention. Her raised volume was clearly short lived.

Jiwoo’s harsh, irrational gaze instead shifted to her, and the young girl took a physical step back from the intensity of it. “What do you mean?? Where else would they go?! All their cars are here, that’s Jungeun’s dad’s car!” She pointed to a large, scraped truck that made up part of the makeshift roadblock ahead of us. “At the very least, he’s in there!!”

I took a deep breath, “Well, who else are you even looking for? We found your... we went to your house, isn’t that enough? Why don’t we just find a place to rest for the night? Okay? It’ll be dark soon.”

Jiwoo glared at me. She actually glared at me. “Who else am I _looking_ for?! My old friends!! The people I grew up with! Jungeun’s family, my cousin, my ex-girlfriend, my old teachers, people I _care_ about live here and I want to _find_ them so just _get out of the way_.” She physically pushed me to the side and walked forward, leaving me stunned.

I didn’t know what to say. She’d... made her point. And I guess it had been insensitive of me to assume that she’d only come to this town to find her parents, but that assumption had come from a genuine place. I didn’t really have friends like she did, or a connection to my past like this. My “hometown” was the city, which was unforgiving and uncaring. Based solely off my own experience, I couldn’t much relate to Jiwoo right now, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t empathize. I just hadn’t really been thinking.

Chaewon and Hyejoo were thoroughly convinced by Jiwoo’s explanation that we were going into this building one way or another. Chaewon did feel the need to speak up weakly, though. “Jiwoo... let’s just go slow about this alright?”

Jiwoo scoffed under her breath. I walked to be at her side, gently handing her the pipe she’d left. She didn’t take it, just looking at me with a raised eyebrow. “Why would I want to ‘go slow?’ You’re all acting like everyone’s as good as dead, or at the very least in serious danger, so why the _hell_ would I want to ‘take my time’ to try and help them??” With that, she snagged the pipe roughly from my grasp and started walking faster.

When we reached that blockade of cars, she effortlessly vaulted over one of their hoods and the rest of us followed suit. Once on the other side, however, she froze again. Someone had used a bike lock to prevent the handles of the double doors from being pulled. Why would they lock the community center from the outside...? And _who_ had? This was obviously just a bad sign. But I had a feeling Jiwoo wouldn’t interpret it that way.

“It’s locked...” She stared at it, blinking hard, reaching forward and pulling on it as if to test how sturdy it was. The lock rattled but didn’t budge. Nope, that wasn’t gonna open.

Hyejoo knelt in front of it. Tilting her head. “Um... if you really want, I can pick it.”

“Pick it?” Jiwoo asked her shakily.

“Yeah. Lockpick it.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out what looked like two strangely bent bobby pins. Damn, wouldn’t have expected that from her, she definitely didn’t give off the vibes of someone who knew how to lockpick.

“Wait a minute, just wait.” I spoke up, feeling like I needed to inject some sense into this conversation. All eyes moved to me. Yeah I risked sounding insensitive accidentally again, but I didn’t want us getting killed. “Jiwoo... why would this place be locked from the _outside_? Just think about that, please.”

She blinked at me, but she didn’t glare this time. She genuinely was thinking through it, and I wasn’t sure how many mental gymnastics it took for her to somehow spin this into a potentially positive situation, but she managed it. “Maybe, someone who left town locked it for the people inside...? To keep them safe?”

I shook my head. “Jiwoo...”

“ _Stop_. I don’t need that tone, I’m not stupid.” She snapped at me again, glancing back at the lock and the bobby pins in Hyejoo’s palm. “There’s a back entrance, too...” She saw the look on my face, in my eyes, and she spoke up again. “I’m going in here one way or another. I care about what you think, Sooyoung, but I need to see what’s inside. So why don’t you just tell me which way you’d want to go in?”

I sighed heavily. This was going against literally every single instinct I’d ever had in my entire life, but I didn’t really have a choice, did I? What was I gonna do, let crazed, emotional, irrational Jiwoo go into this death trap all by herself with only a pipe? Fuck no. Then... I guess if I was picking the lesser of two evils, it’d be the back entrance. We’d have more of a chance of sneaking in, instead of barging straight through the way that was clearly blocked off on purpose.

“Back entrance. Lead the way.” I checked the rounds in the revolver. Still six. Six kills, if I got lucky and made every shot. And I planned to. There weren’t really opportunities for fuck-ups anymore. They’d get you killed. I decided to dismiss the fact that me accepting this plan was probably its own sort of fuck-up. I reminded myself that I needed to keep Jiwoo safe, especially since she couldn’t seem to do that for herself anymore, at least not in the state she was in, and it was enough to shut down my thoughts.

She nodded. “Alright. It’s over here.” She rounded the corner in a quick jog, Hyejoo and Chaewon sticking to my heels when I followed her. They seemed really uncertain about this. Hell, I was too.

“A-are we really going in there, Sooyoung...?” Hyejoo actually dared to whisper to me. I glanced at her. She asked that like I had the authority to shut it down if I wanted. I mean, they had sort of been treating me like some sort of unofficial leader ever since we separated. I wasn’t. I think I was the oldest, yeah, but was I the leader by default...?

I decided against thinking about that right then. “Jiwoo is. So we are too.” I muttered back to the girl, whose eyes adopted that same panicky glint they had earlier on.

Once we got to the back of the building, Jiwoo stopped in her tracks behind a heavy-looking metal door. I prayed it was locked, that it was too hard to get in and that she’d be forced to think more, maybe even giving up. But when she clutched the handle and pulled, it budged. Shit.

She was inside before I had a chance to grab onto her, to tell her we should think of a plan, or even just to slow down for a minute. I went through that door frantically, right on her tail, reaching out to grab her and stop her for just a second--

\--but she’d already stopped herself. And when I saw why, I froze solid.

She was right in front of an infected. It was staring straight at her, inches from her, breathing erratically and twitching with those milky eyes wide open. Jiwoo was stiff as a statue, her fists clenched tightly around that pipe but I prayed she didn’t swing it. There were more. Dozens more. The one in front of her wasn’t moving, though. It wasn’t grabbing her. Wasn’t trying to bite her. It was as if it was staring straight through her. My eyes widened so far I was worried they’d fall straight out of my damn head. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck _fuck_.

I got closer, making my footsteps light and inaudible. Hyejoo and Chaewon had slipped in after me, and I frantically turned to them, gesturing to be quiet. They seemed confused, but once they spotted Jiwoo and her situation, they went dead silent. I raised my revolver to that thing’s head with one hand, not wanting to shoot, but knowing it wasn’t out of the question if it so much as flinched in Jiwoo’s direction. I edged closer, _closer_ , and finally wrapped my arm loosely around Jiwoo’s waist, pulling her backward with me and putting some distance between she and that monster.

I didn’t stop there, though. I pulled her along with me, toward the exit, knowing we should just give up. But she squirmed from my grasp, turning to face me and shaking her head. I gave her a wordless look of “are you fucking kidding me,” which she responded to by pulling me along with her off to the side. Hyejoo and Chae reluctantly stuck to us. We’d walked into some sort of side storage space, but the door into the main room had been left open, exposing us to all those infected. She pulled us into the corner and started to whisper as quietly as she could.

“We aren’t leaving.” She told me, not an ounce of leniency in her tone.

Hyejoo was staring at the horde of them, her eyes wide and her body trembling. “They’re just... standing there...” She mumbled more to herself than the rest of us. I glanced at the pack of them. She was right. That one hadn’t attacked Jiwoo but it’d stared right at her. The lights were off in here, it was nearly pitch black. It’d even taken my eyes a few seconds to adjust. Clearly, they couldn’t see in the dark. I thought Vivi had mentioned something like that. Back in that office building, she’d given us all a science-y debriefing on how the infected worked: how long it took to turn, that they relied on sight, and something about it going airborne. If they really relied on sight, I guess darkness factored into that. They couldn’t see us.

Chaewon was just as fascinated by it as I was, “Yeah... they aren’t even walking or anything. It’s like someone turned them off.” It was... strange. We’d never really had the chance to look at them without them charging us. It was eerie to see them that way, to see up close their inhuman gazes and their still bleeding bite marks.

Jiwoo took a deep breath. “There was a door. Into the rec room. Someone wrote on it, it said ‘alive inside,’ I saw it, I _saw_ it...” We all stared at her.

“I-I saw it too.” Chaewon muttered weakly. As if Jiwoo needed corroboration, which honestly she sort of did in my eyes. I hadn’t seen it. And Jiwoo was damn irrational right now. But Chae had no reason to lie.

Jiwoo was breathing hard, looking at the crowd of them as they stiffly stood in place, staring at nothing. “We can sneak through. If we stay quiet they can’t see us--”

The suggestion had barely left her lips before Hyejoo blurted something out in a harsher whisper than before, “--Are you fucking _crazy??_ ” I glanced at her. God the poor girl was _terrified_.

Jiwoo didn’t even flinch. “No! There’s someone in there and they need our help.”

I intervened, “We can’t just help everyone who might need it, Jiwoo. We have to think about us.” She needed to hear that. She was too far in her own head, and she could only be irrational like this until it put us in serious danger. Which it was now.

She looked at me like I’d just slapped her across the face. I didn’t think I was being insensitive. I genuinely didn’t think so. “That’s... _awful_.” Jiwoo shook her head at me in disbelief. “If that’s what we need to do to ‘survive,’ then I don’t wanna live anymore.” I flinched. I couldn’t help it. That... hurt. Just the thought of that, the image of that... the others were stunned too. I wasn’t sure if it’d been her explicit intention but damn did Jiwoo just make me feel like the scum of the earth for saying something I thought was rational. “I’m not gonna leave them to die. You can come with me or not, I can’t force you, but I’m going.”

“I’ll come too.” Chae interjected firmly.

“What??” Hyejoo looked at her desperately, clinging to her arm as if that alone would change her mind.

Chae tried to explain herself, holding both of the distraught girl’s hands. “She’s right. If we don’t help people who need it then what’s the point of any of this?” Hyejoo was shaking her head back and forth firmly, over and over, and Chae reached up to gently rest her hand on her cheek. It held the trembling girl still just for a moment, “What if it was you? Wouldn’t you hope someone would help?”

Hyejoo just blinked at her wordlessly. Neither of us knew what to say.

**_Jiwoo_ **

“Let me go first.” Sooyoung muttered to me softly, already stepping away from our small group. She stopped suddenly, looking back at me. “If things start to go wrong... I want you to make a break for that door. Okay? Run past me, and straight through it.”

“And what about you?” I whispered to her. This was a pretty big change in behavior. Seconds ago she was ready to abandon this place and whoever was still trapped in that room, and now she was more than willing to barge right in.

“I’ll shoot. Make a distraction or something. Just get in that room and shut the fucking door.” She started to walk again, but I grabbed her and held her still.

“You mean leave you? By yourself, with all of those things?” I raised my eyebrow at her. She didn’t say no. She just stared at me in this awful, foreboding way, and I _hated_ it. “You can’t be serious.”

“We need to be safe.” She tried to insist.

“Yeah, _we_ , you’re _included_ in that!” I couldn’t believe she was implying this. Was she seriously acting like she was going to go through some sort of self-sacrifice for me, for whoever was in that room when she was about to run off without a care in the world seconds before?? She didn’t make any _sense_. Why would she switch so abruptly like that? She couldn’t play with my emotions like this. What would we do if we lost her...? After I’d just lost _so_ much? What would _I_ do, without her...?

“I...” She seemed to be at a bit of a loss. I wasn’t totally irrational, I knew this plan was dangerous, and they didn’t have to help me if they really didn’t want to. Chaewon volunteered, I hadn’t even really needed to convince her.

“We won’t leave you.” Hyejoo spoke up with her quivering, almost silent voice. “Don’t be stupid.” Chae nodded along in silent agreement, and I tightened my grip on Sooyoung’s arm to show her I sided with that. She seemed confused by the collective sentiment. Why would she be confused? Did she really think that we didn’t care about her? That _I_ didn’t care about her - that she’d basically offer to throw her life away like that and none of us would flinch?

“Fine. Whatever...” The concept of the attachment seemed to make her feel... uncomfortable, almost? She wasn’t making any sense, but now I had something else to worry about: that in this stressful situation, Sooyoung would do something stupid and put her life on the line when she didn’t need to just to make sure the rest of us were safe. “Let’s just go. Stay quiet and stay _close_.”

We all nodded from the command, following her in single file. I was behind her, then Hyejoo, and Chaewon in the back. She crouched down slightly low, probably to be out of their direct line of sight just for good measure. It was smart. She was smart with things I wouldn’t have even bothered to think of. Part of me wanted to cling to her, to hold onto her as we moved just to make sure she didn’t do something careless, but I restrained the urge.

We went slow. Careful. Quiet. I watched where I stepped. It looked like they’d turned the community center into some sort of shelter. There were medical cots laid out in neat rows on the floor. The ping pong table had a white sheet on it as well as bloodied medical supplies. There were canned goods strewn all over the floor that looked like they’d been organized once, but had gotten kicked around in all the disarray. I hated this. I hated the thought that they’d all flocked here, hidden, tried to stay safe, and then...

There was barely enough space between them for us to squeeze between. My adrenaline was going crazy and my heart was beating so fast it almost hurt. I tried not to let myself look at any of the faces, because I knew every single one of them. I was scared that if I recognized someone especially close I’d break down, so I kept my eyes low. I could hear them breathing, hear them twitching and making low, inhuman growling sounds. One of them scratched aimlessly at its bite mark as I passed and I flinched, disgusted, scared out of my mind. This was the most terrified I’d ever been. I could hardly even breathe.

I heard something. Something that wasn’t them, so it must’ve been us, and I looked over my shoulder. Hyejoo was losing it. Her eyes were wide, and her breathing was getting erratic. She clutched loosely at her chest with her hands as her desperate gaze darted between the infected surrounding us on all sides, but her sharp inhales were getting audible. No. We were almost to the door, come on, we could make it if she just kept it together.

Chae met my eyes when I turned fully around, confused, and I gestured frantically to Hyejoo. She understood in an instant, surging closer and wrapping her arms around the dark-haired girl from behind. Hyejoo froze, shutting her eyes and reaching up to cover her own mouth. She shook violently still. Chae’s lips moved right next to Hyejoo’s ear and I knew that she must’ve muttered something so quiet only she could hear. Hyejoo nodded weakly, opened those glossy, wide eyes again, and kept moving. Silent again. Chae trailed her grip down to instead tightly clasp one Hyejoo’s free hand with both of hers, the contact seeming to steady her more than anything else.

The infected nearest to Hyejoo twitched and turned around to face us. Oh no. Had it heard? I grasped Hyejoo by the front of her shirt and pulled her forward, faster. We couldn’t be heard. We just couldn’t. Sooyoung reached the door first, and she turned the knob. If it was locked, I... I don’t know. I hadn’t even considered that, but it’d be an absolute disaster.

The knob turned. And it clicked quietly, too quiet for them to hear. Sooyoung looked back at all of us, at the distraught, coming apart at the seams Hyejoo, and she pushed it open.

A gun cocked. Sooyoung froze. I stepped forward, past her, too desperate to care if whoever was in here shot right at me, but I had a suspicion they wouldn’t. And once I saw who it was, I realized I was right. 

It was Mr. Kim. Jungeun’s dad. I knew it, I _knew_ it, I _knew_ someone was okay, I _knew_ not everyone could be dead. I just _knew_ it. He seemed out of it. Exhausted, drained. But he spotted me, and recognition flashed behind his eyes. I’d grown up right alongside his daughter and spent damn near half my childhood under his roof, so of course he recognized me. He lowered the pistol he held and gestured frantically for us to come in, which we all did as soon as the gun wasn’t on us. Sooyoung held the door open, and once we were all past its threshold, she shut it as gently as she could. It was thick. We could talk.

“Jiwoo? Kim Jiwoo?” He spoke up, disbelief evident in his familiar raspy, accented voice. He was propped up in a rusted metal chair, his side bleeding.

“Mr. Kim!” I rushed forward, tripping over my own two feet. Hyejoo started to take deep, frantic, audible breaths so panicked that I stopped in my tracks, turning to look at her. She rested her hand on her heart, as if trying to slow how fast it was beating.

Chae led her to a nearby couch and sat her down. “Hey, hey, shh Hyejoo, shh, you did so great, you were _so_ brave, shh...” I watched as the blonde brushed her thumb on Hyejoo’s cheek, wiping away tears that started to fall and gently resting their foreheads together. “Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay, we made it, it’s okay now, I’m here, I’m right here with you, shh...” Hyejoo sniffled, staring deeply into Chaewon’s eyes as her breathing slowly started to steady. This didn’t seem like the first time that’d happened.

I turned back to Jungeun’s dad, kneeling down in front of him. “Are you alright?? You look hurt, did you--”

“--Jiwoo, stay away from him.” A firm hand suddenly gripped the back of my shirt and pulled me roughly to my feet. I glanced at Sooyoung indignantly, shrugging off her grip, but Mr. Kim surprisingly sided with her.

“She’s right, girly. Best keep your distance.” I’d almost forgotten the way he’d refer to me and it made a pang of painful nostalgia go straight through my chest. “One of the fuckers got me,” He reached clumsily to the hem of his shirt, pulling it upward and showing us a _nasty_ bite. I grimaced from the sight, my stomach dropping into my shoes. “Took out a pretty big chunk, too. Bastard.” He chuckled bitterly.

“The-- the sign, on the door, i-it said survivors inside. Are there more? Where’s everyone else?” I tried not to sound as desperate as I truly was. I didn’t want to be dismissed as totally hysteric, even though debatably, I was on the edge here.

He shook his head, gesturing weakly to another door. I knew it led to a bathroom. I started walking toward it, but his voice stopped me. “I wouldn’t go in there. It’s not a pretty scene.”

The lump in my throat intensified and it got hard to even take an inhale in. I looked back at him, at the regret in his eyes and the grudging acceptance on his hardened face, my vision blurred from hot tears. “What happened...? What did you do?”

He sighed heavily, clutching at his wound. I wondered if it would help the pain. His skin was discolored. “They asked me to do it. Couldn’t manage it themselves.”

“What did you _do?!_ ” I found my voice raising against my will. I couldn’t help it. I was losing every ounce of control I had left, this had been my last ditch effort. He was the only living person I’d seen left from my hometown I’d seen alive, and he was bitten.

He shifted where he sat, hissing a curse through his teeth from even the slightest movement. “Settle down there, Jiwoo... everyone from town came here when things started going to hell. The radio broadcasts came in first, but it didn’t take long ‘till it got here. Even in our little sliver of heaven, tucked away in these fields.” He chuckled ironically at his comment. “It got here. We didn’t understand how it spread, though, so when those first few got bit we just rounded everyone up into the community center who was willing to come. Doctors tried to help ‘em, stop the bleeding, ease the pain, but it was no damn use. These things feel like fire and it just spreads all the way through you...” He winced again. “People turned. They bit more, and then they turned too, and then there were more bites. We hid out in here, but we were stupid. Didn’t understand it, or hell, maybe we just didn’t want to. We’d taken bitten people in with us. Hoping for a miracle. When they turned we barely had a chance, only one gun really. They got at me, got at us. The others, they didn’t want to become more of those damned things, but didn’t have the guts to off themselves...” He gently tapped the barrel of the gun he still held. “So. I offered.”

I fell to my knees. These poor people. I knew them, and they were all gone. “Is it everyone...?” I whimpered out the question, fighting back tears. “Is it really everyone?”

He shrugged at me, that misplaced, bitter grin still plastered on his face. “I’m all that’s left... sorry to disappoint.” He tilted his head at me. He sounded exhausted. I didn’t know how long he had left, I’d never seen anyone turn before. “Hey... you seen my girl anywhere? She alright?”

I nodded frantically, a part of me craving good news even if I wasn’t the one to receive it. “Yeah. Yes, I-I saw her. She’s not with me, but she’s okay.”

He nodded, as if he’d suspected that. “I knew it. She’s a tough one, my Jungeun. Always has been...” He coughed suddenly, covering his mouth with his sleeve and grimacing. It sounded painful. “What are you guys doing here...? This place is a dead end. You aren’t bit. Get out while you can...”

Sooyoung stepped closer. “Think we could take that?” She pointed to his gun.

He shook his head, pursing his lips as he worked his way through what was presumably another wave of agony. “Nope. Only one bullet left, anyhow, and I’m saving it for me.” My heart sank. It was his choice, but... god, no. I couldn’t take this. My whole town, everyone I’d ever known in it, was just... gone, and I hadn’t even been here to help. To save anyone. My family, my friends, my childhood, it was all uprooted and just... _gone_. I stared down at the floor. This didn’t even feel real anymore. It was like I’d drifted off into a nightmare that just wouldn’t end and I _couldn’t_ wake _up_.

“Sir, a-are you sure?” Chaewon spoke up from the other side of the room. She’d been listening in this whole time.

“Not like I got much of a choice, do I? Either that, or turn and start chomping on people. That’s no way to die.” He was certain. I already knew there was no convincing him, I knew him well enough to remember how damned stubborn he was. His eyes moved to me. “That pipe looks like it packs a punch, huh?”

I blinked away the tears lingering in my eyes. “Um... I guess.” It took everything in me to keep my voice from breaking.

He leaned forward in his chair, staggering weakly to his feet. He stood unevenly, and Sooyoung stepped forward to help support him until his footing got sturdy. He accepted the help but gently shoved her away afterward, that same stubbornness showing through again. “Listen. Give that pipe to me. I’ll go out there, get one last stand against the fuckers. Make a big ruckus, so you can all leave the same way you came in.”

I shook my head back and forth. What would Jungeun have done, if she was here? I wished she was. She should’ve been. Why should I be here, to witness her dad's last moments? Why me, and not her? Why hadn’t she come with me? _Why?_ Did she just not care? I mean she hadn’t been too close with her dad, but he was still her _dad_. I hated this. I just hated it. An unexpected anger was starting to rise in my chest, anger at Jungeun - something I’d never felt toward her. It wasn’t going away, either.

He glanced over his shoulder. “Or I could boost you up the skylight. To the roof. Not sure there’s a way down though, and I wouldn’t want you jumpin’ off that. Break your damn ankles, you always had fragile bones.” He chuckled slightly at me, probably referencing the time I broke my arm by tripping down his front porch steps and he’d had to drive me to the hospital.

I sniffled, blinking away what was left of my tears. “Mr. Kim, we aren’t going to leave you--”  
  


“--Yes you damn well are, dumbass.” He scoffed at the mere notion I was proposing. “God what’s up with you? Still a big softie, even now. Thought all this would’ve beaten that out of you...” I stared up at him. He reached down unexpectedly, pulling me to my feet and brushing off the front of my coat. He gently grasped my chin. “Don’t let all this shit take that away. Don’t you let it, alright?”

I nodded weakly at him. This was probably the nicest he’d ever been to me. The most he’d ever said, too. He was a terse man. Curt and unfeeling. This was out of character, but it felt like my heart was shattering into bits. His eyes had always reminded me of Jungeun’s. Always. Even now.

**_Chaewon_ **

Jiwoo took a deep breath and handed Mr. Kim her pipe. He took it into his hands, nodding at the weight. “Nice. Sturdy. Could bash more than a few skulls in with this.” He chuckled, or rather tried to before it devolved into hoarse coughs. Ouch. “Damn...”

“Mr. Kim...” Jiwoo’s voice trembled, as did her whole body.

I couldn’t even start to think how hard all of this was for her. I hadn’t seen what had happened back at her house, but I could sort of infer that... at the very least, her parents weren’t there. And based off what Jungeun’s dad had said, if they weren’t there, they were... here, but not around anymore. Jiwoo cared about her town. She really, really did, like it was a part of her, and everything that made it unique and made it hers was gone now. My heart went out to her. If Hyejoo didn’t need me right then, I would’ve gone straight up and wrapped her in my arms and not let her go until she stopped shaking.

“Don’t get sappy.” He dismissed the sentiment behind Jiwoo’s eyes in an instant. “No tears’ll be shed for me. That’s just the life I lived.” Did he mean Jungeun too...? He was her dad, why wouldn’t she cry about him? I guess I didn’t know a lot about Jungeun still.

“How’re we gonna do this? Should I open the door for you?” Sooyoung asked him.

A sudden tight grip on the front of my shirt drew my attention back to Hyeoo in an instant. “I-I-I can’t go back out there-- Chae-- please-- I-I can’t--” Her breathing was getting uneven all over again.

I brought my gaze back to her and I saw that familiar panic in her eyes. The desperation, the absolute fear that of course I related to, but I hated seeing her so scared. I wished I could keep her safe, that I could do more than just supply her with empty promises I couldn’t guarantee. But we didn’t have a choice.

I wiped away the few tears that still streamed down her cheeks. “We have to, Hyejoo. We have to.”

She just shook her head back and forth frantically. “No no, n-no, no I-I-I--ple-ase---” She could hardly even speak, her inhales so desperate and frantic they cut apart her words.

I leaned closer, holding both sides of her head firmly, and planted a lingering kiss against her forehead. It shut her right up. Her breathing surprisingly got steadier, but those tears only left faster. I whispered something gently against her skin. “It’s just a quick run. Straight out the door. We can make it, I’ll be right there.”

Hyejoo sniffled, wiping her own tears away with the heels of her hands and nodding weakly at me. It would be hard. And damn would it be scary, but if we stuck together, we’d be okay.

“You two ready?” Sooyoung spoke up. She was gripping the door’s handle with her free hand.

“Ready as we’ll ever be.” I pulled Hyejoo back to her feet and helped walk her up to the door. Jiwoo was unarmed now, and Sooyoung didn’t like that. She reached forward, taking the knife that Hyejoo had dropped to the floor in her flustered panic and placing it into Jiwoo’s hand.

Mr. Kim let out another muffled curse and he worked his way through some more pain. His wound still bled. “I don’t have all day.”

He was right. Without another word, Sooyoung threw the door open.

He burst outside like a lion from a cage, suddenly full of energy and what I could only describe as rage. It came from somewhere deep. I think it was all he had left in him, so he was putting everything he had into this last stand to give us as much of a chance as he could. We owed him something we couldn’t ever really repay. He brought that pipe down against one of their heads so hard it went limp and collapsed outright, but he’d drawn the rest of their attention. He knew he needed to lead them away from us, so he rushed off to the side, shouting to draw them straight to him in a pack. It worked.

“ _Go_.” Sooyoung whispered to us harshly, grabbing Jiwoo’s arm and pulling her along. I ran, holding onto Hyejoo, not liking how close we had to brush past the horde of them to get to that back entrance.

We almost made it. Really, we almost did. We’d nearly passed the threshold into that storage room, but I messed up. I hadn’t been looking where I’d stepped, and I kicked a can by mistake. It clattered way too audibly against a metal shelf. One nearby spotted us. It grabbed at Hyejoo, dug its hands into the back of her hair and pulled her from my grip.

I panicked. I couldn’t let it bite her, I _wouldn’t_ let it bite her. I still had my screwdriver. I’d forgotten, but I still had it, and before I even let myself think I buried it into that infected’s hand so hard that it went straight through. It recoiled, letting Hyejoo go, and I pulled her along with me frantically. It looked like she’d nearly gone into shock, but we didn’t have time to address that. I was stupid and I hadn’t killed that infected, I’d just hurt it. It was still after us.

We caught up with Sooyoung. Jiwoo was already out the door, Sooyoung had made sure of it, but had hovered to wait for us. She grabbed the two of us by our shirts as soon as we were in reach, pulled us out roughly, and slammed that door shut hard. Although hands pounded against it not soon after, we knew they were too stupid to turn handles. We got out.

I hugged Hyejoo, pulled her as tightly as I could against me, my eyes wide and my heart beating so loud I could hear it in my ears. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, it was my fault I wasn’t looking where I was going I’m--”

“--You saved me.” She held onto me, curling her fingers against my shoulders. I smoothed down the back of her hair, hating how ragged it was from where that infected had snagged and pulled. She didn’t say anything else. Just hugged me, and I hugged her.

Sooyoung struggled to catch her breath. “Everyone else okay? Anyone get hurt...?” She looked at Jiwoo, who just stared at that door with wide eyes and a dropped jaw.

There was a gunshot from inside. Just one. We all froze. I drew slowly away from Hyejoo and stared at that door too. Jungeun’s dad. He must’ve...

Jiwoo shook her head over and over again, sniffling. Sooyoung walked to her and wrapped a loose arm around her waist, muttering something weakly that I barely caught. “He saved us.”

“I-If I ever see Jungeun again, I have to tell her that I let her dad kill himself.” Jiwoo muttered out blankly, her eyes still fixed on that door as if she could see straight through it.

Sooyoung stepped in Jiwoo’s line of sight, but she still wouldn’t meet her eyes. “Listen to me right now. You didn’t ‘let’ him do anything. Don’t do that. Don’t have that guilt, I don’t want you to have that. You did nothing wrong.”

Jiwoo took a deep, lingering breath, blinking hard and sniffling. “Fine, fine... _god_ , I just...” She shut her eyes, burying her face into her hands. “It’s everywhere. Guys, it’s everywhere. Nowhere’s safe, I-I thought... I-I _wanted_ to think...”

“Hey, don’t...” Sooyoung was at a loss. We all were. I mean, we’d all had that revelation at one point or another during all this, and yeah it was a tough pill to swallow. But Jiwoo hadn’t yet. She was working through that right here, right now.

“Jiwoo...” I spoke up, but I had no idea what to say. What could you say...?   
  


Sooyoung sighed. “We need to rest. Mr. Kim basically said the whole town evacuated here, so... the place should be empty. Right?” Jiwoo pulled her hands from her face and nodded slowly. “Do you... do you know a sturdy building? Besides this one?”

She sniffled, nodding again. “Follow me...” Wrapping her arms loosely around her quaking body, she started to walk. She just kept going, despite it all. None of us said another word, sticking behind her as she slowly shuffled down the empty streets of where she’d spent almost her whole life.

She led us into what looked like a bar. It was made of firm, solid brick, and the doors weren’t locked. When we got in, Sooyoung instantly pushed a bunch of chairs and tables in front of the entrance. “Any other exits? Jiwoo? Any other ways in?” She asked frantically, not letting her guard down until she knew we were secure in here.

“The... the back. Through the kitchen, into the alley.” Jiwoo stammered out. I moved forward, gently clasping her arm and setting her down on a bar stool. She needed to sit.

“I’ll block it with something. Don’t worry. This place seems good. There’s booths. We can sleep on those... we’ll be safe. At least for tonight, alright?” Sooyoung gently brushed her hand along Jiwoo’s cheek. The girl just looked at her with eyes that were somehow still warm, even after all that. Sooyoung smiled weakly at her before disappearing into that kitchen.


	20. Rest Period 2 - An Empty Bar

**_Hyejoo_ **

__

My body was still trembling slightly from the near-death experience I’d had a mere five minutes before, and it’d only worsened since Chae distanced herself from me to focus some of her attention on Jiwoo. That was fine. She didn’t have to constantly be near me. I knew it’d be hard, but I needed to stop depending on her so much. Right now it felt like I was damn near close to falling apart just because she was on the other side of the room. I couldn’t be this unstable. I needed to work on it, or it’d get me killed, and I didn’t want to die.

__

Sooyoung emerged from the kitchen, holding a bottle of wine in one hand and a few glasses in the other. She set them all down on the counter. Jiwoo eyed the wine, seeming enthralled as Sooyoung poured herself a glass. She took a long swig, downing the entire thing in nearly one sip, and slowly refilled it. We were all staring at her.

__

“Want some? Brought more than one glass.” She hesitated, waiting for any response. Jiwoo nodded slowly, and Sooyoung poured another, sliding it toward her across the counter. She seemed very in her element with all this. I had a feeling she liked wine. I hadn’t had any in a long time, and honestly, it didn’t sound bad right about now. Her eyes flitted to me. “What about you?”

__

Ah, what the hell? Maybe it’d help dull my constant paranoia and anxiety enough so I could think about literally anything else. “Sure. Not... not too much.” She was already pouring before I’d even added the disclaimer, and filled one of the glasses halfway before nudging it to me. I took it, sitting on a bar stool at the end of the counter and sipping it idly.

__

Chae shook her head at the offer. She went over to one of the tables and set her bag down, opening it to take out the food we’d packed earlier in her apartment. My stomach growled, but I’d eat something in a bit. Jiwoo shrugged her guitar off her shoulders, instead setting the bag down atop the counter and nursing slowly at her own glass. Sooyoung decided to leave her alone - a rarity - and instead walked over to me.

__

“You drink that without flinching.” She took another long sip of her wine. She was one to talk, she was acting like it was water. “You’re kinda young. Where’ve you been drinking?” She leaned against the counter, tilting her head at me curiously. I think this was her way of bonding. From what I’d been able to tell she was sort of... blunt. Or at least not the best with words. Neither was I, so it wasn’t like I was blaming her. If I was being honest, I could probably relate to Sooyoung a lot more than I’d admit.

__

I decided to be honest with her. No real point in lying nowadays, it wasn’t like I’d get in trouble. “I’d steal from my parents’ stash at home.”

__

Sooyoung chuckled under her breath, “Wow, the rebellious type huh? Would _not_ have expected that from you.” That was fair. She hadn’t gone to school with me, she didn’t get to see the fake persona I wore every day, she’d only seen the real me. The scared me. The one afraid of basically everything. “What, would you bring it to your friends’ house? Start a party or something?”

__

“No. Just drink enough of it for them to notice.” I muttered under my breath, swirling the wine in my glass.

__

Her eyes narrowed. “How come?”

__

“I... wanted to get in trouble.” I shrugged, as if it meant nothing, but if I really thought about it it was sort of pitiful.

__

“Didn’t think you were an adrenaline junkie, either. Seem like literally the opposite, actually...” She took a long sip, trailing off, staring hard at me.

__

I sighed, shutting my eyes for a second. Was it bad that I... really didn’t care my parents were probably dead? Bitten, or turned, somewhere in that mess of a city? Because honestly? Why should I care about them when they probably hadn’t given me a second thought in all that chaos? “Not for adrenaline. Just wanted them to pay attention to me. For once.”

__

She nodded slowly, as if in understanding. I wondered just how well she could understand that, but refrained from asking. “Those type of parents, huh?” I wasn’t sure what to say to that. I downed the rest of my glass of wine, and apparently that was enough of a response. “Sorry to hear that...” She got quiet when Chae came over. She pushed an apple toward Sooyoung and offered me one, but I just shook my head. Something else was on my mind.

  
“Sooyoung, could you cut my hair?” I couldn’t get the image of that damned infected grabbing onto me by the dangling strands in the middle of my back. If they’d been shorter, it wouldn’t have gotten a solid enough grip. The roots on my scalp still sort of ached from just how hard it’d pulled.

__

Chae raised her eyebrows at me, stunned by the question she’d overheard. Sooyoung bit into the apple, still looking at me closely but not giving me an answer. Chae spoke up first, actually, “Why? You could just put it up.” She gestured to her loose bun. She wasn’t wrong.

__

I’d made my mind up, though. “No. I want it cut.”

__

Sooyoung shrugged. “Lemme just see if I can find some scissors.” She told me between taking bites out of her apple. She disappeared into the kitchen again. Chae stared at me oddly, but said nothing. After a minute or so Sooyoung came back out, a pair of thick scissors in hand. She stepped around the counter toward me, “You sure?”

__

“Yeah. But... maybe we should wait until morning, aren’t you sort of drunk?” She’d downed those first two glasses of wine pretty damn fast.

__

She scoffed at the notion. “Drunk? That’s cute. It takes at least four glasses for this shit to so much as touch me.”

__

“If you say so.” She seemed like she was telling the truth. Her bluntness also had honesty sort of built into it. She reached down and spun the stool around so that my back was to her.

__

“How short do you want it? Chin? Shoulders?” Her fingers started to run gently through my hair, fiddling with the ends.

__

“Chin.” I watched as Chae sat at a stool in front of me, seeming intrigued with what was about to happen. She reached closer and clasped my hand gently, right as I felt those scissors slice off what must’ve been most of my hair. It fell to the floor, my head feeling significantly lighter from the lost weight. Jiwoo looked over at us too, having finished her glass of wine by now.

__

It didn’t take too long. Once she got off the main chunk of it, she snipped a bit at the ends, adding some uneven layering that I knew was just an aesthetic thing, but I appreciated the effort she was putting in. “There.” Sooyoung set the scissors down, brushing some stray hairs off my shoulders and her hands. “Like it?”

__

I couldn’t really see, but before I even had the chance to make that quip, Chae beamed at me with a smile so bright it made my chest feel light and airy. She squeezed my hand gently. “It looks really cute!!”

__

My cheeks warmed. I couldn’t help it. Jiwoo spoke up unexpectedly from down the counter as she swirled her finger gently around her glass’s rim. “Yeah. And you’ll be safer.” I looked over at her. She shot me a smile, a real smile, and I was amazed she’d managed to muster even that.

__

_**** _

_(fanart drawn by twitter user<https://twitter.com/chisiuwu>)_

“Yeah... thanks, Sooyoung.” I reached up, messing with it, trying to get used to the new length but it’d probably take a little bit. My hair hadn’t been that short in years.

__

She reached up, ruffling the top of my head. “No problem, kid.”

__

“Kid?” I playfully glared at her, pouting. Chae giggled adorably and I felt those same butterflies again. Sooyoung smirked smugly at me. “You just gave me wine and now you’re calling me a kid.”

__

She shrugged, “I identify as a hypocrite.” Jiwoo chuckled weakly again, fiddling with the pin on her shirt that Yerim had given her earlier and staring at it oddly. Chae stood and walked back over to her backpack, probably checking up on her rocks. I looked back at Sooyoung, wondering if there was something else I could say to her, but I was drawing a blank. I’d never been a great conversationalist.

__

“You froze up back there.” Sooyoung spoke softly, so quiet nobody would be able to overhear. The blush on my cheeks lingered. “Freaked out, right in the middle of it all.” I couldn’t meet her eyes anymore. I just stared down at my shoes, not quite having expected this. She stepped closer, “You can’t do that...” She reached up, gently tilting my chin up so my eyes moved to her. “You think Chae would leave you? Huh?” My stomach dropped into my shoes, not at all having expected that comment. I thought she was going to scold me or something, that’s what I’d mentally prepared for. That didn’t seem to be what this was, though. I just shook my head weakly. “When you freeze, she does too. Think about that next time. Consider that. It’s both of you on the line...” My body started shaking all over again. She was right. It hurt to hear, though. “I see how you look at her.”

__

“--Huh?” My eyes widened, heat flooding into my cheeks, and I met her pointed gaze. “What...? I-I don’t--”

__

She shook her head. “I’m not blind. Apparently she is, if she hasn’t noticed. But look, that doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’ve gotta get it together. You just _have_ to, or it’s her life at risk, not just yours.” She took a step back from me, changing her quiet, secretive tone. “You might be a kid, but you can’t keep acting like one. Not anymore. I know you have it in you, Hyejoo.” I... didn’t know what to say. Thankfully she seemed to be done. She nudged my shoulder gently. “Go on. Get something to eat, then sleep that wine off.”

__

**_Chaewon_ **

__

I don’t know why I felt the need to check on my rocks. It was probably unnecessary and even a little stupid, but in all the commotion we got into sometimes I’d just get worried that I’d dropped a couple or misplaced one of them. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if that happened, obviously - much worse things could happen nowadays, but... I dunno. It... felt familiar to keep track of them. I used to gently tap my finger against them all on the windowsill whenever I got home from a long shift, and that routine was comforting somehow. So doing it now, even though they were all in a mismatched pile in my backpack instead of laid out in a line, it was still familiar.

__

I zipped my backpack up again and looked back toward Jiwoo. Hyejoo was mumbling weakly to Sooyoung, fiddling idly with her adorable short hair. Jiwoo had reached forward, taking her guitar from her bag and starting to pluck at the strings with her fingers, despite the way they still subtly trembled. I think that glass of wine she’d had helped her a little bit. It wasn’t enough to get her drunk or anything, but maybe it dulled the negative emotions she still had lingering.

  
I sat on the stool at her side. She glanced at me briefly, but focused on plucking away at those guitar strings, strumming some lazy chords along with it. The melody filled the previously empty, echoing bar, and the instant sense of relief and comfort that washed over me was just surreal.

__

“What’s that song...?” I asked her gently, not wanting to raise my voice so high that Sooyoung and Hyejoo wouldn’t be able to hear the guitar from down the end of the counter. They’d gotten quiet. When I glanced over, I saw Sooyoung staring at Jiwoo, looking almost... enthralled.

__

Jiwoo didn’t respond right away, seeming to lose herself in the music a bit. “Paper Hearts.”

__

I nodded, “Ohhh, right. Isn’t that kind of a sad song?” I wondered aloud.

__

She shrugged, the melody complicated but her fingers executing it effortlessly. I think she’d played it a lot. It almost seemed like muscle memory. “I guess. But it’s pretty, so who cares?” She smiled weakly. “I won the talent show with this. Senior year. Sang, too.”

__

I raised an eyebrow, finding myself smiling at nothing. “Why don’t you sing now? I bet you have a really nice voice.”

  
She shook her head weakly. “I don’t feel like it. You’re right, the lyrics are kinda sad.”

__

That made sense. No point in making herself sadder than she already was. “Hey... um...” I wanted to say something. Point out the fact that I was grateful for what Jungeun’s dad had done, or that I was sure her town had been a really lovely place to live once, but I just... wasn’t sure if any of that was appropriate, or if it’d be pushing. So... maybe the best thing to do would be to get her mind off it. But was that insensitive? To ignore everything she just went through? I had no idea. But honestly, the safer bet seemed to be to not try and touch upon things she might not want to talk about.

__

“I like your guitar. She’s no worse for wear... Lucille, right?” There were a few extra scrapes on it I hadn’t noticed before. Probably from all the running and jostling it’d gone through. Made sense. I was amazed it was still in such good condition, all things considered.

__

Jiwoo paused, glancing at me with a raised eyebrow. “Huh? Oh, right.” Guess she’d forgotten the name she’d given it. That was warranted. She sure as hell had a lot on her mind. “Yeah. I like her too. Been with me for a long time. She and I are what’s left of this town. And Jungeun too, I guess. If she gave enough of a shit to come with us, maybe she’d be here to see it.” The bitterness in her voice was unlike her. I knew she and Jungeun were close, it wasn’t hard to infer.

__

I got where she was coming from. Jungeun hadn’t come to her own hometown, her dad had died without getting to see her again, the place she’d spent her childhood was gone now, and unlike Jiwoo she hadn’t seemed interested in tagging along. That... was weird to me. But maybe she just didn’t feel the same connection as Jiwoo, which was valid. I was trying to view this from both sides. I didn’t want to demonize anyone, I did my best to try and assume people had good intentions unless proven otherwise. So I wasn’t gonna touch that. I wasn’t gonna side with Jiwoo, if there were even sides to choose. That wouldn’t do anyone any good. Not right now.

__

“You’re good at playing it... I used to play a little bit of piano.” I did my best to change the subject. She didn’t need to dwell, and my goal had been to distract her.

__

It worked. Something behind her eyes lit up. “You did?? Oh, that’s so cool! I’d always wanted to learn piano but I could only afford one type of lesson, with college bills and stuff.”

__

I smiled back at her. That was more relatable than she knew. “I tried to teach myself, I had a little keyboard, but um, I had to sell it.” I shut my eyes for a few moments, letting myself listen to the melody of that familiar song that she kept playing. She slowed the tempo down effortlessly, and I felt her looking at me.

__

“Oh...” I matched her gaze, pursing my lips. I couldn’t quite tell if she was empathizing with me or pitying me, but I really hated pity. “If you hadn’t sold it, would you have kept playing?”

__

I didn’t hesitate. “Definitely. I really liked it. Don’t know if I was any good, but--”  
  


“--That doesn’t matter.” She cut me off in an instant. “If you like something, if you’re passionate about it, if it makes you happy, you should do it. You don’t have to be good at something for it to make you happy.”

__

I wasn’t sure where that speech had come from, but surprisingly, it struck home. If I hadn’t had to sell that little keyboard just to make rent, maybe it would’ve been one of the other small things that made me happy. Maybe I’d have something besides just my rocks. Even though I’d only been able to play a few really simple melodies by ear after a lot of practice, it was nice. Just that. And I wouldn’t mind doing it again someday. I smiled at her, wordlessly, sure that whatever I managed to say would just be clumsy anyways.

__

“Maybe we can find you a new one.” Jiwoo spoke to me slowly again. “A keyboard, I mean. Maybe we can figure out how to play it, together.”

__

I chuckled under my breath. “Maybe we can find someone to teach us. Start a band. Make it big.”

__

Jiwoo let out a small laugh as well, though it was hollow. “Hyejoo could be on drums. She’d be a good drummer.”

__

“Would Sooyoung sing? I don’t think she’d want to play bass.” I swung my legs back and forth to the rhythm of the song, knowing it was ending soon but really hoping she’d just play something else.

__

Jiwoo shook her head firmly. “Nah. She’d be the band’s manager or something. Maybe a producer.”

__

“You’re so right...” I trailed off just as the song did. “Thanks for playing.”

__

“Thanks for listening.” She retorted softly. Her voice was weak. I think she appreciated that conversation more than she had in her to admit, and that was okay. She didn’t need to say anything, but maybe she wanted to be left alone. At least for a bit. I wasn’t sure what else to bring up anyway, and if I tried, it’d just seem forced.

__

“If you want any food, I have a little in my backpack...” I offered her weakly as I hopped off my barstool.

__

“Maybe in a bit... there’s probably some in the kitchen, too. We should make sure to take it before we leave.” She ran her hand down her face, a wave of what I could only read as drowsiness washing visibly over her from the motion. “I’m glad you’re with us.” She wouldn’t meet my eyes again when she said that. Her tone changed, too. Got... wistful. Sentimental.

__

“I’m glad I’m with you too.” I dared to reach closer, gently resting my hand on her knee for a second, and when I started to pull back, she clasped it gently. Part of me had wanted to stay with Jungeun and Hyunjin, because they’d been strong and had weapons. But... even after all this, after almost dying, I was glad we at least weren’t in that city. And glad to be with Jiwoo, Sooyoung, Hyejoo, and Lucille.

__

**_Jiwoo_ **

__

I finished the song but I didn’t want to stop playing. It was keeping my mind off things. So I picked another, one that had less memories attached to it. Sooyoung walked over slowly, dragging that bottle of wine along with her across the counter. I watched her come, shooting her the best smile I could manage before reaching up and brushing my thumb gently along her cheek. She grimaced ever so slightly from the contact, gently clasping my wrist and tugging my hand away. “It’s already starting to bruise...” I muttered softly to her.

__

She shrugged. “If I was gonna get punched, I’m just glad it was from Kim Hyunjin.”

__

I chuckled at her softly. “You know her, don’t you? From her fighting, or whatever?”

__

She nodded, “That’s an understatement. I was a _big_ fan. She really knows how to beat someone’s ass, it was a beautiful thing to watch, really...” Her sarcastic tone started to fade the longer she talked. “I... I wasn’t trying to get punched, yaknow.”

__

My face fell slightly, thinking back on the fight that got a fist to her face. She’d been the normal Sooyoung I expected: harsh, not sugar coating anything for anyone’s sake. Her outburst hadn’t surprised me, but the others didn’t really know her yet, so the same couldn’t be said for them. And I guess Hyunjin’s instinct had been to lash out, which was... valid, but a shame. “I know... but Hyunjin wasn’t ready to hear that. That’s all.”

__

Sooyoung seemed to genuinely process what I’d said, staring down at the wine still remaining in her glass but not drinking it. “At least she gets to hope. She didn’t see a body, she didn’t have to...”

__

“Have to what--”

__

“Nothing.” She shut down my question almost before it had a chance to leave me. I could sort of infer what she’d been implying, and I thought back to that girl she’d been looking for back in the city. It took me a few moments to even remember the name: Inhye. Sooyoung downed the rest of her glass in one swig before finally looking back up at me again. “Did you... want to look for your ex tomorrow?”

__

My heart wrenched. I hadn’t expected anyone to bring her up. Why would they? I’d mentioned her really briefly. I wondered why Sooyoung had asked about her, and not my cousin, or my teachers - the other people I’d listed in that tangent - but decided against asking. “I found her.”

__

“Her?” Sooyoung’s eyes changed before she flinched and seemed to catch herself, “I-I mean, you did?”

__

Coming out wasn’t really a big deal anymore. I hadn’t thought anything of it, really. I doubted people would give me any trouble for being gay when our lives were on the line, and I definitely trusted Sooyoung. Not to mention she’d flippantly said she “hooked up” with a girl, so she wasn’t going to judge me. “Yeah ‘her.’ And.... I saw her in the community center.” I hadn’t told anyone, but when we left that room, when we made a break for that door, I saw her grab onto Hyejoo’s hair and almost kill her. I stared into her milky white eyes, and I saw her. Gone, just like everyone else, but _seeing_ it? That was different. I... hadn’t even really let myself think about it.

__

“Oh...” Sooyoung understood without needing to ask any further questions. Good, because I really didn’t think I’d be able to talk about it any more than that. “When did you two...?” She seemed really uncertain about asking that. I assumed she wanted to know when we broke up. How recent the relationship had been. It was a fair question.

__

“A bit before I went off to school.” I muttered under my breath, letting my mind wander to happier times as I kept playing that melody. “She was my first kiss. Lotta my firsts, actually...” I chuckled weakly, wondering why I was even telling her these things as a slight blush rose to my cheeks from the thoughts.

__

Sooyoung nodded in understanding, “I see... why’d you break up? If you don’t mind my asking.” She quickly added the disclaimer, not wanting to seem like she was prying. She wasn’t. I knew it was harmless curiosity.

__

“It’s fine. I broke it off. The feelings just weren’t there anymore.” I decided against mentioning that they only went away on my end, not hers. Didn’t need to get into the nasty details or the broken hearts.

“Yeah... that happens sometimes...” Sooyoung sort of seemed like a heartbreaker. She’d mentioned Inhye was a hookup. I wondered if she had a lot of those, and if she’d shut them down if feelings were ever brought into question. I didn’t have anything else to say, so I decided against rambling and just kept my mouth shut, focusing on playing. After a few lingering moments, she spoke again, but her tone was different. Low, soft, and uncertain. “I lost my mom, yaknow.”

__

I felt a pang of sadness shoot through my hollow chest, and I stopped playing, my eyes slowly moving to her. “To all this...?”

__

“No. A few years back. Cancer.” I think she was trying to emphasize with me. Show that she understood my loss, at least in the slightest bit. And I appreciated the effort. Really, I did. I appreciated all of her efforts, everything she’d been doing for me, despite how hard it must’ve been.

__

“Oh... I’m sorry.” I knew the condolence was hollow. But I just wasn’t sure what to say.

“It’s alright..” A small silence started to spread, filled only with the sound of my guitar. Sooyoung leaned closer across the counter, toward me, her voice low to make sure only I could hear. “I just want to say, again, and... I’m not great with this stuff, but I’m _so_ sorry, Jiwoo. About your parents, it’s--”

__

“--I don’t want to talk about it.” I spoke up quickly, feeling the lump in my throat and the burning in my eyes.

__

“Right, of course. Shouldn’t have brought it up, I’m sor--”

__

“--Stop apologizing...” She was just trying to be nice. Trying to ease my grief. But that was practically impossible. “Can we talk about something else, please?” She nodded wordlessly, and I decided to ask her something I’d started to wonder. “Who was your first kiss?”

__

“Uhhh. Hmm.” Her brow furrowed, seeming deep in thought. Did she really have to think that hard...? I raised an eyebrow at her playfully but didn’t interrupt her seemingly extensive thought process. “I guess it was this girl from my class.”

I dismissed the very vague description and instead found myself wondering something else. “Did you date or anything?” She laughed airly, shaking her head. “Why is that funny?”

__

She sighed lightly, her laughter dying down. “I.. I dunno. Haven’t really ‘dated’ before.”

__

“Ever?” I couldn’t believe that. I mean... just looking at Sooyoung, I didn’t believe that, but she seemed like she was telling the truth. She wasn’t one to lie. I _highly_ doubted it was because she didn’t have any suitors. “Why?”

__

She shrugged again. “Just... not my thing.” It seemed like she was pretty adamant on giving me as little information as was possible while still technically answering my questions. That was fine, it was up to her how much she wanted to tell me, obviously, but... I dunno. I just wanted to get to know her. I really did.

__

I glanced down at the ring on her finger I couldn’t help but notice. It was one of the first things I’d noticed about her, if I was being totally honest with myself. “Weren’t you married?”

__

She seemed confused at the question. “What?” I pointed vaguely to her finger and she looked down, as if she’d forgotten she was wearing it. “Oh, ew.” She reached down, tugging the ring off and literally tossing it over her shoulder. “Yeah I was, but it was fake. And to a man, ew.” She sneered, shuddering, totally disgusted with even the thought.

__

I playfully sneered along with her, but was left with more questions. “Why would you marry someone if you didn’t love them?” It didn’t seem worth all the trouble. And she talked about him like there’d never been even the slightest semblance of feelings there.

__

“For money.” Her response was automatic.

__

I blinked in surprise at just how honest she was. “Oh.” I wasn’t even sure what to say to that. She seemed rich, I mean, I’d always known she was rich, but... had she just gotten all of that by marrying some random dude with money? 

__

She laughed again, tilting her head at me. “Guess that makes me sound shallow, huh?”

__

I couldn’t help but laugh too. “I mean, sorta...” That was practically the definition of shallow.

__

She shrugged, and I couldn’t quite tell if her next words were a joke or not. “Well, I guess I kind of am.”

__

At least she could admit it. But... even if she was shallow, I didn’t care. She wasn’t shallow anymore. You couldn’t really be in this world, money wasn’t an object nowadays. That didn’t change anything on my end. “It’s ok. I still like you.”

__

She smiled at me, a real, genuine smile, and reached up to brush some of my hair from my face. She sighed weakly, “I’m... gonna look in the back for some food to pack.”

__

“Always the survivor.” I muttered weakly, watching her disappear into the kitchen again. I joked, but in reality I knew that we needed someone like that. We needed her. I just hoped she needed us too.

__

**_Sooyoung_ **

__

The kitchen didn’t actually have much food, unfortunately. I remembered how much had been in the community center when I glimpsed around the room, all the canned goods. They must’ve stocked up. All that was left in here were perishables, but it was still something I guess. I wasn’t sure if I should bother telling the others about the lack of actual supplies. That’d probably just add unneeded stress, right when I’d told them to try and relax. So I kept it to myself, pulling a discarded backpack from a storage closet and starting to load it with all the vegetables and edible things left in the fridge. Even with all that, there wasn’t much.

__

“Anything good back here?” A small voice caught me off guard from over my shoulder. It was Chaewon. She made her way into the kitchen innocently, looking around, wanting to help. Damn. I didn’t want to worry her, but what was I supposed to do if she barged right in asking?

__

I sighed, “Um... nothing too great for what we need, no.” I walked up to her, showing my pack full of vegetables.

__

“Oooh! What’s wrong with that?” She tugged out a carrot and took a bite. An optimist, huh? Guess our little group was evenly matched then. That is, if Jiwoo still had it in her after all this.

__

“It’ll go bad. What we’re looking for is cans, things that don’t need to be refrigerated. Things that’ll last...” I kept looking around as I told her, opening cabinets, checking drawers. I’d take anything, but it really seemed like those people in the community center had the same idea.

__

“How come...? You really think it’ll take that long before we...?” She was hesitant to even say what she was thinking. I knew she was hoping to find someplace safe, but... some wishful thinking was okay, and some was dangerous to indulge in - like what she was doing. If you relied too heavily on your fantasies and idealistic hopes, then you got detached from reality and didn’t plan for things you should.

__

But I couldn’t just shut her down. Being harsh and blunt with people hadn’t always proved as productive as I once thought. It wasn’t like Chaewon was gonna punch me, but... still. I couldn’t quite find it in me to give false hope, though. I struggled for some sort of middle ground. “Better safe than sorry, Chae.”

__

“I... yeah, I guess so.” She shrugged, “But I do like carrots.”

__

I couldn’t help the small chuckle that left me from her simple, innocent statement. “Me too... you should go to bed. It’s been a long day.”

__

She finished off her carrot, “You probably eed the sleep more than me. Why aren’t you going to bed?”

__

“I should stay up. Keep watch...” I’d secured the doors, but I didn’t feel safe. Sure, all the infected were trapped in that community center, and it didn’t seem like they were going anywhere any time soon, but what if others wandered into town from somewhere else? From the city? From a neighboring town? If we were all dead asleep... I didn’t even want to think about how bad that could go.

__

“Sooyoung?” Chae spoke up weakly, her tone different from before. I looked over at her. “Did... um, what... what happened to Jiwoo’s parents?” She seemed terrified of whatever the answer might be. And she was right to be scared. I didn’t want to tell her. I wondered if it was even my information to tell. It didn’t seem like it.

__

“Um... sit down.” I pulled up a storage bin and gestured toward it. She sat on top, pulling her legs underneath herself. God she looked so young. She and Hyejoo both really were just kids dealing with all this. When I was their age I was worried about passing tests and sneaking out to be with friends past my curfew. They had to worry about whether or not they’d be breathing tomorrow. “They... killed themselves.”

__

She gasped weakly, “What? Oh my god, why would they do that...? Oh no, did Jiwoo see?”

__

I reached closer, resting my hand gently on hers to stop the onslaught of questions I was now stuck with answering. “Yeah. Jiwoo saw. I... couldn’t stop her.” Chae’s brow got all wrinkled up in the middle. She looked damn near ready to bolt back into the bar and comfort Jiwoo to death, so I decided to instead clasp that hand to hold her in place. Jiwoo had said she didn’t want to talk about it. “And... they thought Jiwoo was dead. I think they got out of the community center before it all fell apart, so they knew everyone was gone too. They... didn’t have anything left.”

__

Chae scooted closer to me, a desperation behind her eyes that I hadn’t expected. “But Jiwoo isn’t dead.”

__

“They didn’t know that, though.” I muttered to her softly. “Chae, it’s... it’s a bad situation. Alright? I don’t know what else to tell you.”

__

She sniffled, her eyes getting glossy all of a sudden. “I-I dunno either. I just... that _sucks_.”

__

I nodded. “It does suck. It really fucking sucks.”

__

“It _really_ fucking sucks...” Chae repeated, sniffling more deliberately. She blinked rapidly and looked up to dismiss whatever tears were starting to come on.

__

“I should probably tell you not to swear...” I muttered to her, “But that’d be awfully fucking hypocritical of me.”

__

She giggled sweetly, shaking her head back and forth. “I don’t normally swear. Feels weird but it’s kinda...”

__

“It’s fun. Don’t even kid yourself, it’s fun.” I told her, a smile making its way to my face.

__

“Alright, it’s fun...” She tilted her head at me, her smile genuine and real but her eyes still sparkling ever so slightly from those traces of tears. “But... poor Jiwoo.”

__

I sighed, pulled straight back into the harsh reality of all this with just those simple words. “We’ve gotta watch out for her. You stabbed that infected, I saw you. You’ve made it this far, you can keep going. We all can, even Jiwoo.” I genuinely believed that. Jiwoo had it the hardest, out of all of us. We had to help her as best as we could.

__

She looked away from my eyes again. “I’ll try. That’s all I can really do, huh?”

__

“Yeah...” She was doing her best. I knew she was. “Come on.” I squeezed that hand I still held and pulled her back to her feet. “Help me pack this stuff up, alright?”

__

***

__

Hyejoo and Chaewon were out cold. They’d passed out on one of the booths, a bit separated at first, but by the time they’d actually fallen asleep they were cuddled against each other. Chae had actually been a big help with all the packing. All our our bags were filled with the stuff we’d managed to scrounge up. I didn’t feel great about our situation, I was pretty sure it was impossible to feel “great” about it, but I felt better. Knowing we had some stuff, at the very least - if we were out in the middle of the countryside for too long or got holed up somewhere. I was doing my best to think ahead.

__

Jiwoo wasn’t sleeping. She’d stopped playing her guitar, too, had even put it back into its bag. She just rested her head on her hand and stared down at the counter. It looked like she’d poured herself another glass of wine when I’d been in the kitchen, the bottle had less in it than before. I stepped closer, picking it up and setting it down alongside the other liquor bottles all lined up behind the counter.

__

“You should go to bed...” I told her softly, not wanting to speak too loud and wake the others.

__

“Maybe... are you really gonna keep watch?” Her voice was weak. Small. She still wouldn’t look at me.

__

“I... I guess it isn’t totally necessary. But I feel like I should, yaknow?” I didn’t want her to worry about me staying up. It wasn’t as big of a deal as everyone seemed to be making it. I slept the night before. I’d gone longer with less.

__

“If you really feel that way, go ahead. I’d rather if you didn’t. We should all rest.” She was speaking so quietly I struggled to hear her.

__

“It’s... it’s really nothing. I just want to make sure we’re safe for the night. That’s all. So you can sleep soundly.” I leaned against the counter, closer to her.

__

She chuckled weakly, shaking her head. “I’m not gonna sleep soundly, Sooyoung. No matter what you do.” I frowned bitterly at the truth behind that. It was quite the assumption for me to make. Guess that was my version of wishful thinking, then. “Can I have another drink?” She pointed toward the bottle I’d moved away from her, raising her glass and twirling it in the air.

__

I shook my head weakly. “We should probably stop. Wouldn’t be a great idea to be hungover in the morning.” I’d made sure to be careful and stopped drinking before it’d actually have much of an impact on me. I knew my limits pretty well, but I wasn’t sure Jiwoo could say the same. Or if she did know her limits, I don’t think she cared to much about them anymore. It wasn’t like she was drunk yet or anything, I just didn’t want her to get carried away.

__

She set her glass back down, staring at the counter again. “Can I... can I just please have another drink...?” Her voice broke pitifully on the last word and my heart wrenched so hard it hurt my chest. Her lip started to quiver.

__

“Jiwoo...” Those tears finally started to leave her. Tears that should’ve left hours and hours before, during all of this absolute turmoil she’d been enduring. She reached up herself, wiping them away with shaky fingers. I’d prepared for this in my head, but somehow I still dreaded it. Dreaded that I’d say the wrong thing and only make things worse. “Hey, hey hey...” I reached closer, grabbing onto both of her hands as tightly as I could. “Shh, don’t...”

__

A small sob finally left her and I watched as her whole body jolted from the impact. She felt so unstable and weak. I damn near felt my own eyes starting to burn. This just... hurt to see. That’s the only way I could describe it. No more sobs left her. I wasn’t sure if she was keeping them back, or if that was really all she had in her. I couldn’t tell. I wasn’t good with these things, and fuck did I wish I was because all I wanted to do was make her feel better.

__

_**** _

_(fanart drawn by twitter user **<https://twitter.com/chichan54_moon>)**_

“Shh, sweetheart.” I brought her hand to my lips and gently kissed the back of it, leaning closer to rest my forehead against hers. She was still shaking. “It’s okay... shh.”

__

Her eyes finally met mine, red around the rims and glossy, but somehow still so warm. She seemed caught off guard at how close I was, so I expected her to pull away, but instead she edged closer. And closer. I froze up, not moving an inch. What was she doing...? There was a lingering blush on her cheeks. Her gaze moved from mine again, flitting lower down, to my lips. My heart skipped a beat, her breaths getting audible and drawn out. She wasn’t moving anymore, forward or back. And she wasn’t looking away.

__

I closed that small space between us and I kissed her. Her lips were soft, almost unbelievably so. I’d only lost my sense of judgement for a second, and I quickly pulled back. It was just a peck. A small thing. Something she could brush off if it was too much. I got ready to apologize for assuming she’d wanted that, but before any words had a chance to leave me, she was kissing me again.

__

I didn’t expect the way it’d make my heart flutter. I didn’t expect her to reach forward and grab onto the front of my blouse, tug me impossibly closer and stretch the fabric of it. I didn’t expect my own hands to shoot up and grab the sides of her jaw, or to kiss her harder, or to dig my fingers into her hair. I wasn’t even 100% sure where any of this was coming from, but I couldn’t help it. And it seemed like she couldn’t either.

__

I felt her fingers against my shirt trail up instead, tracing soft circles against the side of my neck, and my head was swimming. I wished this counter wasn’t between us. I pulled back for a moment, trying to catch my breath, but she was against me again as soon as I broke away. She whimpered softly at the returned contact and my stomach did a little flip from the sound. My mind went numb, all those fears and worries that’d been lingering seeming to dissipate into thin air and fade altogether. I could only hope the same was happening to her. God, I could only hope. Her skin smelt like peaches and it was hot to the touch. My heart was hammering against my chest. I’d never felt it do that before. I didn’t know what to think, I _couldn’t_ think, she was kissing me senseless.

__

This... I needed to think. I wasn’t thinking. I pulled back, far enough away so that she didn’t surge right against me again, and struggled to get my bearings.

__

“Um... I’m tipsy.” I told her breathlessly. That wasn’t true. Deep down I knew it wasn’t, but... the implications if I _hadn’t_ been tipsy were... just overwhelming me. I couldn’t think about it right then.

__

Jiwoo was blushing a deep red, blinking away what had remained of her few tears. I think she was just as shocked at herself as I was at myself. “Sorry, I-- I-I shouldn’t have--” She started to desperately stammer things out that I knew would be the start of a ramble, but I shut it down before it could get going.

__

“--It’s okay. I um... was a willing participant.” That was a damn understatement. My heart was still beating so fast it was almost concerning. My legs felt like they’d turned to jelly.

__

Jiwoo cleared her throat, looking away from me quickly and staring down at her feet. “I-I’m... gonna go to bed. Okay?” She dared to glance sheepishly at me. I felt my own cheeks warming too.

__

I reached closer and loosely clasped her hand again. “It’s... let’s forget about that alright?”

__

She raised an eyebrow at me, timid, but still confused. “Forget...? But what if I don’t--”

__

“--Jiwoo let’s just not...” I felt my blush deepen. My heart was still fluttering in a way that was... nice. Unfamiliar, but nice. I didn’t want this to complicate things, though. Things were already plenty complicated enough, without... whatever that was. I knew how to do hookups. I was really really used to those. But... my heart had never done this from a hookup, and that scared the everloving shit out of me.

__

“Okay... sorry.”

__

That hurt to hear. “Stop, don’t... I was tipsy. You’re tipsy too. You should go to bed, sleep it off... okay?” I let her hand go and walked around the counter to stand at her side.

__

She stared up at me with sparkling eyes. “I... I’m not that tipsy, Sooyoung.”

__

I didn’t want to think of the connotations behind that, instead just wrapping her loosely in my arms and shutting my eyes. “Shh. Just... shh... go to bed. Please.”

__

She nodded against my shoulder, tugging me closer by my shirt. “You too.”

__

“I should keep--”

__

“--Get some sleep. For me, please.” I had absolutely no resistance to that request. She definitely knew that.

__

I nodded weakly, gently kissing the top of her head. Her grip on me tightened from the contact, and I wanted to just hold her like this forever, but... no. I took a step back and nodded weakly, moving to one of the empty booths and laying down there. I forced my eyes to stay on the ceiling instead of glancing at her like I wanted to. I listened to her footsteps as she headed to her own booth and laid down.

__

I couldn’t sleep. Not really. I just traced soft patterns against the leather booth and let my mind wander, trying to calm how fast my heart was still beating.


	21. Detours

_Earlier that day, back in the city..._

__

**_Haseul_ **

__

None of us had said a word since we’d separated. Hyunjin was leading the way, but I was uncertain of her sense of direction now, after how Chae had needed to reroute us back when she’d been here. Losing her was a pretty big hit. Even though Hyunjin claimed she could make her way around fine with the map, I doubted it. It sort of felt like we were walking blind, but I wasn’t gonna say anything because I couldn’t do a better job.

__

The city seemed to be empty, but I knew that couldn’t be true. The infected were somewhere. Maybe they’d been drawn to a particular place because of noise and the entire zombified population was clustered in one section of the city. I was so terrified we’d accidentally bump into them get overwhelmed. It was so easy for things to go wrong.

__

I hated how quiet it was. If anything I would’ve been weirdly comforted by distant sounds of sirens and gunshots and screams like there used to be. The lack of any sounds of struggle made me wonder if everyone was just... dead. It made me worry that nobody was left to even put up a fight. The fear ran deep and it was eating slowly away at me, as was the silence.

__

Unsurprisingly, Yeojin was the one to break it. She’d been walking at my side, dragging Jim along with us, and she suddenly blurted something out. “I’m just gonna say it because he’s too scared to, but lemme address the elephant in the room here.” All eyes turned to her, and the overall pace of the group started do slow. Jungeun and Hyunjin were in front, and they stopped, looking over their shoulders with furrowed brows. “Jim is kinda offended that he’s the only one who didn’t get a badge this morning, and I can’t say I blame him.”

__

I sighed, rolling my eyes and starting to walk at a normal pace again. The rest of the group did too, except Yerim, who looked genuinely caught off guard by the news. Her face fell. “Oh my gosh, I-I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking I just--”

__

Yeojin held up her hand, walking along with us and dragging Jim too. “It’s fine. We all make mistakes. Jim’s reasonable, he understands, but he wouldn’t mind some sort of badge. Whenever you make more.”

__

Yerim nodded vigorously. Was she really that genuinely rattled? By Yeojin’s stupid antics? I wondered if I should step in, reassure Yerim that she’d done nothing wrong, but I wasn’t sure what good it’d do. Yeojin would fight me every step of the way, and honestly? I was tired. It felt like I should save what little energy I had for when my life was actually in danger, not for a genuine debate about whether or not an inanimate tuba deserved to wear a pin.

__

“Of course. I really am sorry...” Yerim ducked her head, getting herself lower to be more on his level, “I’m sorry, Jim.” I couldn’t believe this. Yeojin had finally found someone childish enough to treat Jim like a person. I wondered if she was surprised, or just validated.

__

“What the fuck is even going on?” Hyunjin asked, seeming pretty thoroughly unamused with the antics. I don’t think I’d ever seen someone more determined than she was right then. All she wanted was to find Heejin, and she had little patience for anything else.

__

“Yeah, she honestly shouldn’t be dragging that thing around, Haseul.” Jungeun spoke up firmly, matching my gaze. Oh boy, now I was being brought into this mess?

__

Yeojin scoffed indignantly. “This is rude. Don’t talk about Jim like he’s not here.”

__

Jinsol surprisingly spoke up. She’d been pretty quiet through all of this. “Jim’s pretty heavy, huh? You think we could use him as a weapon?” Her voice was soft and she lagged behind to walk alongside Yeojin.

__

Yeojin looked at her oddly, probably conflicted since Jinsol surprisingly referred to Jim as a “him” and not an “it,” but was appalled by the idea. “Uhhh Vivi probably weighs about the same, would you use her as a weapon? I don’t think so.”

__

“What?” Vivi’s attention was drawn from her name. She tended to zone out a lot. But I was sure it was for good reason. Vivi was the smartest out of all of us, and a naive part of me was hoping she’d somehow just snap her fingers one minute and come up with a magical solution to this whole disaster.

__

Jinsol chuckled warmly under her breath. “Guess I wouldn’t, fair point.”

__

“ _Thank_ you. At least someone here will listen to reason. Three out of seven isn’t bad but we’re still unfortunately the minority. Maybe we could go on strike or something. A revolution, overthrow the corrupt rule.” Yeojin started mumbling to Jinsol and Yerim, like they’d already formed some covert rebel group. Hyunjin muffled a curse and kept walking.

__

“That’s a bold move. We’ve gotta think of pretty advanced guerilla tactics to pull it off but I’m sure Jim knows every single one in the book.” Jinsol whispered to her. Okay, she was just playing along. It was... weirdly enough sort of sweet - good of her to humor Yeojin and joke around, when everyone else was too stressed to even address her really. I could barely find it in me to humor her anymore.

__

“You aren’t wrong. He’s a veteran, you know. If Jungeun would just give him a chance I’m sure he could teach her a few things.” My eyes nearly rolled to the back of my head at the random, impromptu backstory Yeojin was projecting onto her instrument.

__

“I’ll be sure to relay that to her.” Jinsol whispered discreetly. I glanced at her. She was smirking to herself. She looked pretty hardened with that bandage over her eye, which was ironic considering how she was acting with Yeojin right now.

__

“Hey, wait a minute.” Yerim spoke up suddenly, and the group stopped. Everyone got their weapons ready, assuming the worst, but she was just pointing toward a road off the intersection we stood in. “Haseul, that’s my street. I can practically see my house. You said we could go if it was safe. I don’t see anything around.”

__

Hyunjin turned to face us again, visibly antsy whenever we had to stand still. I highly doubted she’d be up for a detour. Her eyes moved to me, since Yerim had looked to me for the confirmation. As if it was my say. Then again, I wasn’t entirely sure whose say it was. A silence spread. A tense one. Until finally, Yerim broke it again.   
  


“Come on, _please_. It’s right there. We’d just need to look through, see if we can find my parents, o-or see where they went. It’s _right_ there. _Please_ , Hyunjin. Haseul, anyone--”

__

“--I’ll go.” Jinsol stepped forward, not waiting for anyone else’s confirmation. Yerim looked up at her with wide eyes, gratitude written all over her face.

__

“Me too!” Yeojin stepped forward, presumably feeling another instant attachment to Jinsol after she’d validated her imaginary friend.

  
“We aren’t splitting up again. Don’t you think it’s a bit too soon for that?” Vivi spoke firmly, unwavering. She was right. We’d only just fractured off. We were stronger together.

__

Hyunjin groaned in frustration, already walking off. “We need to keep moving. This is the fastest way out of the city, come on.”

__

Jungeun seemed conflicted. She could tell I wanted to help Yerim, and I think she did too. After a few suspenseful moments, she caught up to Hyunjin and grabbed her arm, holding her in place. “Stop. We should help Yerim.”

__

Hyunjin glowered silently. “I... it’s not safe in the city. The faster we get out, the better.”   
  


“I’ll be quick. Please.” Yerim’s plea was so heartfelt. It’d be enough to make anyone waver. Maybe even Hyunjin.

__

**_Jinsol_ **

__

“Fine.” Hyunjin blurted out quickly, as if on instinct. I was worried she’d change her mind, so as soon as I got that confirmation, I grabbed onto Yerim’s’ arm and pulled her forward with me down the road.

__

“Which house?” I asked her gently but in a bit of a rush. I had a feeling that if we didn’t do this as quick as we could, Hyunjin would change our course.

__

She met my eyes. Her whole body was shaking, a franticness showing through in all of her movements now. I hadn’t even heard her mention her parents before this, but anyone could’ve heard the desperation in her voice. It was impossible to ignore. I’d just met Yerim, but damn did the little badge on my chest with a hand drawn stick figure with an eye patch really make my world feel less like it was ending. I wanted to return the favor somehow. This seemed like the best opportunity.

__

“This one, i-it’s this one.” I released my grip on her and she rushed forward all on her own, making a beeline straight into one of the houses. The others caught up quickly, Haseul first, rushing past me and sticking to Yerim’s back like glue. The door wasn’t locked, which was lucky for us but also sort of concerning if you thought about it for too long. I respectfully kept my distance, not wanting to get in the way. I didn’t even have a weapon, which I was potently aware of.

__

Yerim’s house was sort of big. The inside looked slightly messy, though. It could either be read as someone trying to get out in a hurry, or the remnants of a struggle. Yerim froze when she saw the disarray. Her face fell. “Um, okay, uh--” She was at a loss. Her eyes got really wide, and she could barely speak.

__

“Split up.” Hyunjin spoke up firmly, “It’s a big house. It’ll be quicker this way. Vivi, Yeojin, with me upstairs.” She listed the two people closest to her, already heading up the staircase at her side. They listened without much thinking, heading up out of sight quickly.

__

“Come on, honey.” Haseul muttered to Yerim softly, her tone comforting. She gently nudged the girl, snapping her out of her sudden catatonia, and she was moving in an instant. She rushed forward and around the corner. Jungeun locked eyes with me for a moment before shrugging ever so slightly and ducking into one of the nearby rooms to search it. I should look too. I followed Yerim as if on instinct, passing Haseul.

__

“Mom? Dad?? Jinju?” Yerim spoke up in a hushed whisper, clearly conflicted and wanting to raise her voice but knowing it was safer to stay quiet. I wondered who Jinju was. Sounded more like a pet name. The lack of any response was breaking her down. Finally she seemed to snap, daring to speak louder as she listed off the names again. “Mom?! Dad?! Jinju?!”

__

There was a sudden pounding against a nearby door, and everyone froze. Yerim still held her bat, but she was shaking so hard I wasn’t sure of her ability to swing it. The pounding was erratic at first. Weak, almost. Then it got harder, faster, more consistent. Uh-oh.

__

“What’s that?!” Jungeun rushed forward suddenly, her rifle already aimed straight at the noise. Haseul was drawn closer too, concerned, and now we were all just staring at this door. Haseul wordlessly pulled the bat from Yerim’s shaky grip.

__

“Mom? Dad, i-is that you?!” Yerim whispered out desperately. She surged closer, reaching out for the handle, but Haseul caught her wrist in an instant.

__

“Don’t. It’s dangerous.” Haseul did her best to sound empathetic instead of scolding. The pounding kept going. Whatever was doing it just seemed encouraged by all the noise. I felt like a bystander, without enough real stakes to even have input that mattered, but I also felt like I should say something. Anything.

__

Yerim suddenly shook Haseul’s grip off and reached for the handle again, everyone tensing up so suddenly from the motion it felt like the air got sucked out of the room.

__

“Yerim _stop_.” Jungeun shifted her grip on her rifle, taking an assertive step closer. Her voice was firm, but she was clearly uncertain about how to go about this. I think we all were.

__

“It could be my parents.” Yerim explained herself. Honestly I couldn’t tell if she knew how desperate she sounded or if she was genuinely in denial.

__

Haseul tried her best to delicately rationalize the situation, “Then why didn’t they answer you...?”

__

Yerim swallowed hard, a sheen of sweat starting to become visible on her skin. “I-It could be my dog.”

__

Jungeun scoffed, “Does that sound like a dog to you?”

__

“I have to _know_.” Yerim told her through clenched teeth. The anger and frustration so evident in her tone caught me off guard. I never thought I’d hear Yerim sound anything even close to angry. Her eyes were getting glossy. She was serious about this. I tried to put myself in her shoes: looking for my parents, then hearing something, or someone, pounding frantically against a door to what I assumed was a bathroom. Yeah, it might be an infected. But what if it was my mom or dad? What if I didn’t know they’d turned and kept looking for them, aimlessly, forever? That was almost worse - the not knowing. I understood her position here. She reached to the handle again, but Haseul stopped her.

__

“ _Yerim_.” Jungeun stepped closer again, and I finally felt like I had to intervene.

__

I stepped forward, literally inserting myself in the conversation. Someone had to be on Yerim’s side. She couldn’t be alone in this. “Jungeun...” I whispered softly, and saw her stance falter as soon as she heard my tone. But she was just even more conflicted than before.

__

She sneered subtly. “Fine. Open it, but if something comes out I’m putting a bullet in its brain. I don’t care what it is.” She was serious. We all knew that, but it was reassuring, if anything.

__

Yerim reached to the handle one last time, but Haseul stepped between her again. “Yerim, stand back, let me.” She wasn’t asking her, she was telling her, and the distraught girl knew that. She listened. She stepped away, only slightly, and Haseul seemed to know that was the best she was gonna get.

__

I still didn’t have a weapon, but if this went wrong, I’d help somehow. That’s what I kept telling myself. Even when everything went to absolute shit.

__

As soon as that door knob was turned, the door was thrown open. Hard. The force of it actually hit Yerim and she staggered backward into a counter. An infected burst out, grabbing onto the first person it saw. Haseul. Shit. I expected Jungeun to shoot it, like she’d said, but she didn’t. I glanced at her, she was at my side, and she couldn’t get a good enough aim on it. She was panicking as Haseul struggled with it, pressed her forearm desperately against its chest to keep its teeth from her face, but it instead just tried to bite at her arm. She managed to shove it away, just for a moment, and Jungeun pulled the trigger. It missed. She cursed under her breath, about to shoot again, but there was a scream from upstairs. It sounded like Yeojin. Jungeun looked up, her instinct probably telling her to rush up there and help, but we needed her here too. The infected rushed Haseul again when Jungeun was distracted, and the force of it slamming into her sent her straight through a window. Oh _fuck_. That’d all happened so fast, and I’d just stood there like an idiot. I needed to help. Yerim surged forward and picked up the bat Haseul had dropped in the struggle, slamming it into the infected’s back, but that only pissed it off. Jungeun rushed to help her, leaving me by myself.

__

Primal instinct alone led me straight back out the front door and around the side of the house, to the window that’d been shattered open. Haseul was there, laying crumpled in a heap of broken glass. Shit shit _shit._

__

“Haseul!! Fuck, a-are you--” By the time I’d rushed to kneel at her side, she’d turned over, and I saw all the blood. It was gushing from her wrist, practically spurting. Her whole arm was littered with cuts of varying severity, but this was the most concerning. “Shit, oh no, u-u-um,” She’d been the one carrying the medical supplies, they were still slung over her shoulder.

__

Her eyes were wide and her skin was already getting pale. Fuck. I needed to help her but I didn’t know how. She’d saved my life once. I wanted to return the favor, if I could. My heart started to beat out of my chest, it felt like I couldn’t breathe.

__

“Lemme, lemme get someone--” I started to get to my feet, but she held onto me with her good hand, her grip like a vice.

__

“--N-no, you have t-to.” It seemed hard for her to even talk. Her voice was airy. She was shaking. God there was so much _blood_ , it must’ve struck a vein or something, I don’t know, I didn’t know medicine. I was totally clueless here. I should get Vivi, or Jungeun even - but it sounded like a mess inside and nobody else would have time to get out here. No. I had to do it. Oh fuck, _I_ had to do it. I couldn’t fuck this up, either. I just nodded weakly and snatched the bag of supplies from Haseul’s shoulder.

__

I tugged out the sutures and bandages frantically, looking at her with a raised eyebrow. She nodded weakly, and that was enough of a confirmation for me. I threaded the needle, staring dumbly at the wound as it bled. Haseul wasn’t even grimacing or wincing in pain, her panicked gaze just kept flitting between her wrist and my hands.

__

“S-Stitch it up,” She whimpered out. She was shaking even harder. I needed to move. Take action. Help. I was just so terrified I’d fuck it up, but I’d also fuck it up by being complacent. She saw my uncertainty and addressed it. “You can do it, please, Jinsol,” Her free hand shot forward desperately, wrapping around mine and guiding it forward. “Stop the bleeding, I-I’m...” She trailed off, her eyelids fluttering and the grip she’d previously had on me weakening.

__

“Hey, hey hey hey, Haseul stay awake. Stay awake, c’mon sweetie, hey,” I gently shook her and her eyes opened again, but she was losing it. My trepidation didn’t matter. Lousy stitches were better than a gaping wound.

__

I forced myself to poke the needle through her skin, hating the way it made her gasp in pain but at this point just glad that she was awake and aware enough to feel anything. I pulled the needle through, and then pushed it to the opposite side of the gash, pulling the string taut and doing my best to not get queasy when I watched her skin slowly start to close back up. My hands shook violently. Haseul seemed to be putting absolutely all of her effort into keeping herself conscious, watching what I was doing with lidded eyes. That reassured me - I felt like she’d speak up if I was doing something totally wrong. I pursed my lips, doing my best to keep my hands as steady as possible as I repeated the motion of the needle, shifting it to the right and closing up more of the wound.

__

We needed Haseul. She’d saved my life, when she damn well didn’t have to. She did that out of the goodness of her own heart. She helped people, cared for and about people, even if she didn’t know them. She was useful for way more reasons besides her medical training, and even though she wasn’t buff or heavily armed like Hyunjin and Jungeun, she made me feel safe. At the very least, _I_ sure as hell felt like I needed her. And I wasn’t going to lose her over this, not if I had even the slightest say in it.

__

“ _Ow_ , shit...” Haseul muffled the curse between clenched teeth, flinching her wrist away from me slightly on instinct, “T-Too deep... too deep...” She whispered desperately.

  
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” I whispered to her gently. I could still vaguely hear the commotion from inside, and the background noise was far from comforting. I had no idea what was going on in there. It could be even worse than what was going on out here. Why had Yeojin screamed earlier? Had Jungeun dealt with that infected yet? Was everyone safe? Was me going out to help Haseul just getting someone else killed? It wasn’t like I had much choice.

__

I quickly adjusted the trajectory of the needle and kept stitching. The blood was still coming. It’d gotten all over my own hands at this point, but at least the flow seemed to be less now.

__

Finally, it was done. Stitched. Maybe not as evenly as I would’ve liked, but I was amazed I’d managed even that considering how badly I’d been shaking. I frantically snipped off the string and reached for the bandages, wrapping a firm two layers around the now closed up wound. Haseul was starting to come back to her senses a little bit more. I think she’d started to go into shock.

__

I reached forward, resting my hand on her pale cheek and patting it gently. “I-I did it, Haseul, I-I think I did it.” She blinked unevenly at me, not saying a word. The panic in my chest was only getting more and more intense with every second she was unresponsive. What if some weird medical thing was happening that I didn’t understand? “Please be okay, Haseul. _Please_.” My eyes were wide and they stung. God, if I’d screwed this up...

__

She took a deep, shaky breath, reaching up with her recently sutured hand and resting it against mine still on her cheek. “Thank you, Jinsol...”

__

I smiled, the relief I’d felt absolutely overwhelming me. I’d seriously thought she was done for, and that somehow, it’d be my fault for not acting quick enough, for screwing things up, for siding with Yerim and letting that door get opened in the first place. But she was okay. Or as okay as she could get, all things considered.

__

“H-help... help me up.” Haseul muttered, still very unsteady from how much blood she’d lost. In spite of that, she was also still determined. “We need to get back inside.” She was always thinking about everyone but herself, except I wasn’t so sure she should be up and about right now.

__

“Stay here, I’ll go in.” I got to my feet, but she tugged at my sleeve.

__

“No, I-I can help--”

__

“--Not right now, just... here,” I reached down and pushed her gently toward the side of Yerim’s house, so she was against the wall and out of view by anything passing by on the street. “Stay down, stay quiet, I’ll be back in a minute.”

__

“I can _help,_ I-I heard Yeojin, let me--” She struggled to get to her feet on her own but seemed to stagger mid-motion. It took too much effort, she was still dazed and disoriented. She should stay put.

__

“You’re smart, you know you shouldn’t be walking right now.” I did my best to be firm, but it really wasn’t my strong suit. I was a people pleaser at heart. More than anything I wished Haseul could get to her feet and march back into that house at my side, but she was in no condition to do so. Haseul wasn’t delusional. She knew I was right, but it was hard fighting her instincts. She wanted to help, she cared so much about _everyone_. Staying put would probably be harder for her than overexerting herself and passing out, but she knew it was what she needed to do.

__

I staggered to my feet, blood now splattered on my hands and clothes, and rushed back inside. The infected was dead, it’s skull bashed in to the point that I couldn’t even tell if it ever had a face. Yerim’s bat was in Jungeun’s grasp, bloodied all to hell with bits of brain still stuck to it. She was out of breath, still standing between a rattled Yerim and that fresh corpse.

__

I ran to them, “Everyone okay? Did anyone get bit??” I asked frantically.

__

Jungeun shook her head, her wide eyes flitting to the broken window and the blood I was splattered with. “Haseul?”

__

“Fine, more or less, upstairs?” I was already heading that way before I even got an answer. Yerim stayed in the kitchen, disoriented. I sure as hell hoped she didn’t know whoever that infected used to be.

__

“Haven’t checked,” At the mentioning of it, Jungeun rushed forward, pushing past me and taking those stairs two at a time. I was at her heels but she still got there way before me. There was blood on the carpet. My heart skipped a beat. Jungeun’s breath hitched at the sight of it.

__

“Is everyone okay up here?!” Jungeun didn’t seem to care about volume anymore. I guess it didn’t matter, considering she’d shot her gun a few minutes earlier. Hard to even think only a few minutes had passed, so much had happened. Things could go so wrong, so quick. It was overwhelming. You needed to constantly think on your feet. I wasn’t good at that. I needed to get better.

__

The silence lasted a few, suspenseful seconds, and Jungeun shoved that bat into my hands, instead aiming her rifle again. Until finally, a voice. “Yeah!!” It was Vivi. She’d called out from down the hall. Jungeun rushed in that direction in an instant, nearly tripping over herself from how fast she went. I was with her the whole way.

__

Hyunjin stood over another infected’s body, her machete dripping with blood. Yeojin cowered in the corner, partially shielded behind Jim, the front of her shirt visibly wrinkled up like something had grabbed onto it and tugged too hard. Vivi was catching her breath, her pistol out and ready, but I hadn’t heard any more gunshots. Seemed like Hyunjin had handled this one. Vivi held onto a piece of paper tightly in a trembling fist.

__

“Anyone bit?” Jungeun asked, sounding absolutely terrified of what the answer might be. Her whole body was shaking. I reached closer and gently rested my hand on her forearm. She steadied slightly from the contact.

__

Hyunjin shook her head, and Jungeun seemed to deflate. “It grabbed onto Yeojin. Put up a bit of a fight, but we’re fine.” She tilted her head at Jungeun, glaring suddenly. “Why did you shoot? You’re gonna draw every damn infected in the whole city to us, ever think of that?!” She stepped closer, combative and ready for an argument. She always seemed ready to start something.

__

Jungeun sneered subtly, “Was trying to save Haseul’s life, how stupid of me.” The snark wasn’t lost on Hyunjin and she definitely didn’t appreciate it. God, could these two get along for two damn seconds?

__

Vivi and Yeojin both flinched from what Jungeun had said, “Haseul?! Is she okay?!” Vivi’s eyes widened and her pitch raised so high her voice nearly cracked.

__

I started to explain, not sure if it’d put her at ease or only make her more upset, “She got her wrist cut. It was bleeding like crazy, so I did my best to stitch it up, she--”

__

“-- _Where is she?!”_ Vivi cut me off, stepping closer.

__

“U-Um, outside, she fell out the window and she’s a bit lightheaded so I didn’t want her to--” I stopped my explanation when the distraught scientist brushed straight past me out the door. She clumsily shoved the paper she’d been holding into one of my hands, running down the stairs. Yeojin sprinted after her hastily, surprisingly thrusting the handle of Jim’s case into my same hand so she could go faster. Whoa, she trusted me that much...? “--walk.” I finished my sentence weakly, unfurling the paper I’d been handed. It wasn’t for me. Actually, it was specifically addressed to Yerim.

__

**_Yeojin_ **

__

Stupid Haseul. Can’t believe she fell out a damn window, how do you even do that? Klutz. I knew I should’ve teased her, and boy did I plan to, but right then? Yeah, I was scared. Terrified. I’d never seen her that hurt before. Even now, when she held me close and hugged me (ew) like she always did, her grip was weaker than normal. Her breaths were shallow. I dunno, she’d always seemed invincible to me. And now she was seriously injured. Her skin was gross and clammy, and she was all bloody.

__

“I’m okay. Really, I’m okay.” Haseul tried to reassure Vivi, who was endlessly fretting over her. Typical whipped girlfriend stuff. I swear sometimes I forgot they’d even broken up, and all of this mess only solidified how often I made that mistake in my own head.

__

Vivi shook her head, tugging Haseul’s wounded arm toward her. “These stitches are uneven. I should’ve been here, I would’ve--”

__

“--Jinsol saved my life.” Haseul told her firmly, and it was enough to shut her right down. Vivi blinked at her, stunned into total silence. I didn’t like hearing that either. It made it sound like it’d really come close, closer than I ever wanted to think. Damn my stomach hurt. This stress was gonna fucking kill me before the damn zombies did. We went upstairs for like, literally two seconds and all that shit happened. I thought _I_ was the one in danger who got to play the “I almost died” card, but turns out Haseul had it way worse off. Always stealing the spotlight. My grip on her tightened for a second before I pulled back. I made a mental note to give Jinsol a small fortune when all this was over and I got rich.

__

“We shouldn’t be out in the open...” Haseul muttered, doing her best to sit up. Vivi forcibly grabbed her arm and wrapped it around her shoulders, helping her stand. “They’ll be drawn here from that gunshot. I need to talk to Yerim.”

__

“I found a note,” Vivi explained, “It’s from Yerim’s parents. Not sure if it’s good or bad, though.”

__

“What do you mean?” Haseul didn’t quite understand, and I didn’t blame her. What the hell was that even supposed to mean?

__

They were moving too slow, so I rushed ahead, going back inside. I was worried about how Yerim would take whatever was in that note. Vivi hadn’t let me read it, which was rude, but whatever. Everyone had convened in the kitchen. Yerim was there, too, and I made it just in time to see Jinsol hand her a piece of paper, muttering a weak explanation as to what it might be. I was at Yerim’s side in an instant, wrapping an arm around her middle and looking over her shoulder as she read. It looked hastily written.

__

_Yerim, city is unsafe. If you find this, leave. We went to your grandparents’ place. Meet there_

__

Her shoulders slumped. She folded the note back up carefully and tucked it into her pocket, a relieved smile making its way to her face. Everyone else just watched her with bated breath. Vivi and Haseul had made their way inside by then.

__

She held us in suspense for a few more lingering moments before finally managing to speak. “T-This is good. That means they got out, they left the city. My grandparents live way out in the country, so if they went there, they got out!” Her brightness was coming back all at once. It was refreshing. I definitely preferred the happy-go-lucky Yerim. Everyone else was looking at her weird, though. Wasn’t sure why. This was good news. For Yerim, at least it was, and I considered myself a firm member of Yerim’s team, so it was good news for me by association.

__

Another silence spread after her words. I wasn’t sure what to say - truly shocking, I know. Finally, Hyunjin took charge again, as per usual. She was bossy but she’d saved my ass upstairs, so I couldn’t really complain. “We need to move. The gunshot’s gonna draw them in. We’re lucky they aren’t already on top of us,” She made her way into the kitchen, briefly rummaging around before coming back with a knife. She took the bat from Jinsol’s hands, gave it to Yerim, then armed Jinsol with that knife. It was only then that I remembered she still held onto Jim. She hadn’t let him go - I knew I could trust her. I rushed forward but it was like she’d anticipated it, handing him to me before I even needed to ask with a very slight smile.

__

“Let’s just get back on track,” Jungeun started walking toward the door, pausing when she passed my clumsy sister. “Haseul? Can you walk?”

__

Vivi spoke on her behalf, which I knew stubborn Miss Haseul would not appreciate. “I’ll help her. We can keep up.”

__

“Don’t worry about me.” Haseul reassured everyone, as always. God she did that so damn much it just went in one ear and out the other for me. Of course we were gonna worry about her, she’d lost like a gallon of blood and she could barely stand up, why did she always pretend like things were okay?

__

Jungeun’s gaze flitted to me, weirdly enough, before muttering weakly to Haseul. “I’ll cover you.” She muttered firmly, heading toward the door. We all followed her, Hyunjin pushing her way to the front of the group to walk in her usual determined stride, setting our collective pace.

__

“Wait, you don’t have to--” Haseul tried to protest again, which was just ridiculous considering she couldn’t even walk on her own, but her words were cut off by a noise outside. A noise we all recognized in an instant. Growling. From those damn zombies. They’d heard the shot, they were gonna swarm us like they had earlier this morning when that trigger happy soldier had targeted us on the road. But this time we weren’t out in the open on a street, we were stuck inside Yerim’s house.

__

Jungeun was in action in an instant. She spun back around, her wide eyes moving to Yerim, who I still loosely clung to. “Back door.” That was weirdly enough somehow a statement and a question at the same time.

__

Yerim understood, nodding shakily and leading the way. It was right off the kitchen and led out into a narrow alleyway. We all filed out, fast. The front door was thrown open. Practically broken down. I heard all the uneven, frantic footsteps filling the house, searching for us, sniffing us out like animals. Yerim still had a house key in her pocket, and she frantically locked the back door, but it wouldn’t do much good - it wasn’t too sturdy. A few of them had caught a glimpse of us leaving. They slammed against it right after Yerim had locked it and she jumped back, terrified. There was a window built into the door. In an instant one of them had punched its fist straight through the glass, the sound of it drawing the rest of them. WIth that many zombies pressing against that door, it was bound to give.

__

“ _Go_.” Jungeun ordered all of us, sticking in the back as we started to run. Hyunjin led the way. She had her machete out in front of her, and I knew she’d either cleave or gut anything that blocked out path. It was pretty awesome seeing her with that machete. Damn I wished I’d watched her fights on TV before all this had happened. The alley let out onto the main street we’d branched off of to go to Yerim’s house. It only took a second for Hyunjin to get her bearings again, and she rushed in the direction we would’ve gone without this detour. I was glad Yerim had gotten some sense of closure and hope, of course I was, but this definitely hadn’t gone well for the rest of us.

__

They cut us off. At the end of the road, there was another pack of them. They were coming for us at both sides now, just like the alley, except we didn’t have a built in GPS in the form of a Chaewon this time. We stopped for a second just to think, but I knew that every second we stood still was just another second those things closed in.

__

Hyunjin seemed to panic, not knowing what else to do but knowing we needed to _move_ , and rushed toward the nearest building. “In here!!” She rammed the door open with her shoulder. As soon as we were inside, she spun around and pressed herself against those doors. There was no lock on them. I couldn’t tell what this building was, my sense of direction was about as good as a jumbled up rubik's cube and I was about as useful as a potato if I didn’t have wifi. “Go!” She held the doors shut, trying to buy us time to spread into the the rest of the building.

__

“Don’t stay there, we all need to--” Jungeun spoke up, the whole group stopping still to try and convince Hyunjin to just shut up and come with us. She was the strongest, yeah, so if anyone was gonna hold the doors shut it should be her, but _nobody_ should hold those doors shut. It was stupid.

__

“--Yerim, Yeojin, find a place to hide.” Haseul told the two of us firmly.

__

I didn’t even have time to think about that order because Yerim just pulled me along with her as she rushed off down the hall. But suddenly, she froze mid-step. “Wait, this is a bad building!!” She spun on her heel. We’d already gotten a fair distance away, “Guys, there’s a side entr--” One of the doors we passed in this hallway burst open suddenly, almost as if on cue. And there were infected. Quite a handful of them. Inside with us. Ahhhhhh _shit_.

__

Yerim and I were separated from the others. We had a split second before everything turned to chaos, and I knew that. Haseul met my eyes. They had rooms they could run into, or they could fight. I wasn’t sure if Yerim and I could outrun them. 

__

“Everybody _run!_ ” Jungeun called out. This time it was my turn to grab Yerim and drag her with me, bursting into the closest room at our side. It was better than running aimlessly, those things were fast and I had no idea what the layout of this building was.

__

I tried to shut that door behind us, but there was no handle. Why the _hell_ wasn’t there a handle?? Had I _seriously_ managed to pick the _worst_ room in this _whole_ building?!! I groaned in unbelievable, overwhelming frustration. It looked like someone had knocked it off, with like a bat or something, I dunno, clearly this building had been overrun at some point. Yerim looked at me, noticing the lack of handle. I practically saw her life flash before her eyes. No no no, I didn’t want to go out like this.

__

There was a window. It led out onto the street. This room was practically empty, there was nothing to use as a barricade, nothing except maybe...

__

**_Yerim_ **

__

How had all of this gone so bad so fast? Was it my fault for leading them to my house in the first place? Or for insisting on opening that door? I didn’t know, but I was panicking nonetheless. We were trapped in this room, zombies swarming this building from every entrance. There was a window, and I _think_ it led out into an alley, but would that even do us any good? What if there were more out there? What if we got separated from the others because they couldn’t find a way out? Oh god, I didn’t want to be separated. Yeojin and I wouldn't be able to make it on our own.

__

Suddenly Yeojin moved. She released her iron grip on Jim and propped him up firmly against the door. I wasn’t sure how heavy he was, or how much help that would be, but it was better than having no real barrier between us and them. But... was she really leaving Jim?

__

She spun back around to me, her eyes wide, and rushed toward that window. “Yerim, help, c’mon!” I’d never heard her sound so serious. Normally when things got crazy she sort of just got quiet and stuck to Haseul, but Haseul wasn’t here.

__

I listened. Without thinking for even one second, I was at her side, prying that window open. Hands started pounding against the door. Hard, fast, frantic, and I heard it starting to give almost immediately. My hands started to shake as we struggled to get a good enough grip to force this stupid window _open_.

__

Finally, it budged. But I heard them toss that door open too. Yeojin met my eyes in a panic. On sheer instinct alone I grabbed her by her sides and helped hoist her out first. There wasn’t time to protest or debate. Once she was through her hands reached back to help pull me out along with her. They’d spotted me. I felt one of them grab my sneaker, its fingernails scratching against my ankle and breaking the skin. I winced, kicking frantically and aimlessly until I felt my foot hit something, and its grip faltered. Yeojin was small and she wasn't too strong, but her pulling was just enough leverage for me to tumble outside and onto the unforgiving pavement of the alleyway. She was on her feet already, slamming the window shut just as those blood-covered fists started leaving stains against the glass.

__

The alley was empty. Thank god. One end was blocked off by a crashed car. We were at the back of the building, and I guess the infected were all too focused on the front and side doors to give this spot any attention. We were far from safe, but at least we’d gotten out of that room. Just barely.

__

Yeojin quickly knelt at my side, “Are you okay? He got your ankle and it’s all scrape-y...” She gently brushed her fingers near the wounded skin. My adrenaline was pumping so fast I hardly even noticed.

__

“It’s fine,” I looked over my shoulder at that now bloodied window, “But... you left JIm.”

__

She frowned, blinking rapidly, “I know, I was there.”

__

I clasped her hand, noticing the way it was shaking. “He saved us. That zombie would’ve grabbed me sooner, or grabbed you...” I never thought I’d actually feel such real gratitude toward a tuba.

__

She sniffled slightly, not addressing what I’d said as she got back to her feet, helping me to mine. “We have to help the others, where do you think they’d go??” Her words were a rushed jumble, it was almost hard to understand her.

__

“A room, probably, like we did.” I held on tighter to my bat. It was still bloody from the infected Jungeun had killed back in my house. I’d recognized him, he was my old neighbor. At this point that didn’t even faze me, I was too busy being glad that it hadn’t been my mom or dad.

__

“M-Maybe they picked a room on this side of the building, and they’ll come out through the window?” She was already starting to pace along the wall, standing on her tiptoes to look through every window she passed. “I-I don’t know how else we’ll meet up with them, those things are everywhere. God _why_ do they have to run? Why can’t they just be stupid Walking Dead zombies that shamble around like idiots? Then you could just jog and you’re all set. I’m _not_ built for this much exercise, Yerim.”

__

I chuckled weakly at her, wondering if maybe all her humor was just her way of coping. We all had our own ways. “I’m not gonna leave them here, no matter what. Girl Scout Law Code #3 - a girl scout takes the initiative in helping others. It’s my fault we’re even in this mess.” That last part had slipped out all on its own.

__

Yeojin paused when she heard it, turning to look at me. “What...? Because you wanted to look for your parents?” I didn’t look at her, walking past and checking the other windows. “Shut up, don’t be stupid. Nobody’s gonna blame you for this and if anyone tries it I’ll beat their ass.”

__

I was gonna say something, thank her, (maybe tease her playfully for claiming to have the ability to “kick anyone’s ass”) but nearly jumped straight out of my skin when I passed by what I recognized as an emergency exit door and it was thrown open. I leapt back, trying to hold my bat steady, but I was so absolutely _terrified_ I could hardly move. It was the others. They burst outside. Jungeun reached me first and pushed me roughly out of the way, not wanting me in danger. They were still being chased. Hyunjin was at the back and she spun on her heel, trying to shut that door before any of the infected could get out, but they’d been too close. Three rushed through, Hyunjin cutting down the last with her machete before slamming that door closed.

__

One of them ran at Yeojin and I. She didn’t have a weapon. I swallowed my fear, my absolute, overwhelming fear, and I brought my bat slamming into its temple. It didn’t die. It just staggered back. Yeojin clasped my arm suddenly, her grip so tight it drew my attention. When I saw her face, I couldn’t help but freeze. Her eyes were wide. Her expression was... I don’t even know how to describe it. I’d never seen anyone look like that before.

__

Jinsol sank her newly acquired knife from my kitchen into the back of the other one’s head. The one I’d hit was still down, slowly getting back to its feet. I knew that as soon as it was standing it’d charge again, but I couldn’t help but be distracted. Yeojin still stared at it with that unreadable expression, and when I let myself glance around at the others, I saw Haseul doing the same exact thing. Huh...? I was the only one who seemed to notice. What was wrong...?

__

Hyunjin charged forward and shoved her machete deep into its gut with both hands. It sputtered out blood, squirming for a brief moment before going limp. She tossed its corpse to the pavement, adding to the gore already spilled there.

__

Haseul fell to her knees, Vivi gasping in a panic from the sudden motion. I expected Yeojin to freak out too, but she stayed put. Just stared, her eyes fixated on that body.

__

“Haseul, you okay?! Can you walk?” Jinsol spoke up quickly. I wondered if it was because of the wound on her still bloodied wrist, was that why she’d fallen? I had a creeping feeling it wasn’t.

__

The sound of the other infected pounding their hands against the door we’d closed off made the air dense and reminded us of the stakes here. Hyunjin was still in full on attack mode and wanted us all to get the hell out of there, rightfully so. “What’re you doing? Get up, we have to _move_.”

__

I wanted to run too, but kept my mouth shut. Yeojin’s lips parted, as if she was going to speak, but no words came out, just a small, nearly inaudible whimper that only I heard. Her already vice grip on me wrenched suddenly. I finally dared to speak up, loud enough so maybe the others might also notice her visible distress, “Yeojin? Hey, um--”

__

I guess Hyunjin thought my gentle approach would be ineffective, so she interjected again, already heading down the alley away from us, “You two, come _on,_ do I have to drag you?? We can’t stand around, we have to--”

__

“Hyunjin will you shut the fuck up for a second? Something’s wrong...” Jinsol surprisingly shut her down. She noticed too. This was more than just Haseul being injured, or Yeojin spacing out. I was starting to have a suspicion of what it could be, but my optimism was working really hard to try and convince myself I was wrong.

__

Vivi rested her hand on Haseul’s shoulder, but the contact didn’t faze her in the slightest. “Haseul? Baby? What is it? Are you okay...?” I started to notice the glossiness in Haseul’s eyes, the way her lip was quivering. She was staring at the corpse too, and for the first time, Vivi really looked at it. Her face fell in an instant. “Oh _fuck_.”

__

“What? What is it?” I took a small step forward, or rather I tried to - Yeojin held me in place. Her fingernails dug into my skin. It almost hurt, but I didn’t even flinch, my concern for her numbing me to it. Vivi blinked hard, vaguely shaking her head.

__

“Dad?”

__

Yeojin’s voice made everyone stop dead in their tracks. That’s what I’d worried. But I’d _so_ hoped it wasn’t true. I’d hoped and prayed to _anything_ for it _not_ to be _true_. Yeojin took a very small step forward. I held her back. He... he was dead. Brutally killed, right in front of her. I didn’t want her to have to look at that, at him, at least not anymore. I pulled her flush against me, cradling the back of her head and hiding her face in my shoulder. She shouldn’t look. Her whole body was trembling violently.

__

Jungeun took a deep, long breath. “We... need to go.” Her voice was soft and weak. She was trying to be gentler than Hyunjin, but god, how could you be gentle about this...? I didn’t know what I was supposed to do here. I was just waiting for someone else to tell me, and holding onto Yeojin like my life depended on it.

__

Before Jungeun had even finished that sentence, Haseul had staggered to her feet. Vivi tried to reach forward, help her walk. Haseul shrugged her off. She was unsteady, but she just started walking. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and dripping from her jaw, but she kept going, and we followed her.

__

**_Jungeun_ **

__

Shooting that infected in Yerim’s house turned out to sort of be a blessing in disguise. Although we’d come a bit too close for comfort getting out of the initial horde swarming us, we’d lost them in that alleyway, and had drawn them from all corners of the city. It more or less gave us a clearer path. At least for a while. I didn’t let my guard down, of course I didn’t, but the others were starting to catch their breath.

__

Hyunjin wordlessly led the way. Haseul was behind her, her determined pace having slowed more and more the further we got from that alley. I couldn’t help but stare at her back. She’d been through the fucking wringer today. Bullet to her leg, wrist sliced all to hell, lost her dad...

__

I glanced over my shoulder at the others. Yerim and Yeojin took up the back, the youngest girl looking just... unlike herself. It made my chest hollow. I missed her inopportune quips, her inappropriate humor that normally tended to fill this suffocating silence. Vivi was at my side. I’d seen her tentatively reach out her hand toward Haseul’s shoulder four times now, only to change her mind each and every time. Jinsol stuck near the back with the young ones, staring down at the cracks in the road.

__

We passed by some guy that was beaten to absolute hell, not infected or bitten at all. It literally just looked like someone had clubbed him to death. I paused. There was a gun with him. “Hold up a sec, guys.” Everyone stopped, my words the first ones spoken aloud since the alley. All eyes moved to me. I crouched down, lifting it into my hands. It was a handgun, just a standard, simple pistol. When I checked the clip, I saw it was empty. Great.

__

“What’s that?” Jinsol asked weakly. She was pointing to something I hadn’t noticed.

__

I picked up what she’d indicated, looking it over briefly. “Hm. It’s a taser.”

__

“Oh, could we use it?” Jinsol suggested, the slightest trace of hope and optimism in her tone. It was sorely needed. I appreciated what she was trying to do, really I did, but unfortunately there was only more bad news to give.

__

“There’s no charge in it.” I sighed, my frustration getting the best of me as I tossed the worthless hunk of metal to the road. “Of course.”

__

Jinsol pursed her lips, humming in disappointment, “Damn... really would’ve liked to zap something.”

__

I heard a very faint chuckle from behind me, the noise catching me off guard. It was Yeojin. Everyone looked at her. She stared down at her shoes and her face was blank, but that chuckle had definitely come from her. Yerim had been clasping her hand this entire time, and the weathered girl scout smiled weakly, resting her head on the shorter girl’s shoulder for a moment. She didn’t really respond to it. I was glad she at least had Yerim there.

__

“Wait... wait a second.” Jinsol stopped walking. Hyunjin groaned audibly in frustration, her antsiness starting to become mutual. I felt like the longer we were in this death trap of a city, the closer we kept cutting it toward losing one of us. I didn’t want to lose anyone here. She looked over at Hyunjin but seemed more interested in our surroundings. We were nearing the outskirts. I felt like something could jinx us at any moment. It wasn’t good to put stock in luck, faith, or karma anymore. “My brother lives near here.”

__

Hyunjin turned to fully face her, looking very thoroughly unamused. “No no no, not this again. Seriously? You want to go for _another_ detour? Because the last one went _so_ great, huh?” I didn’t like passive aggressive Hyunjin. I preferred her literally punching people, it stung less.

__

Jinsol sneered, clearly not appreciating it either. “This is the whole reason I agreed to go with you in the first place, remember? God, can you take a second to care about someone besides yourself and your girlfriend? We’re _all_ looking for people, _not_ just you, and we all agreed to help you with this deathwish of a plan, so you’d think you’d be sort of inclined to return the favor.”

__

Another silence spread, one that was even more tense than before. I definitely hadn’t expected that from Jinsol. She’d been pretty quiet ever since she got injured the day before, but I guess she was getting some kick back in her. It sort of reminded me of how she’d screamed in my face about shooting Yujin. I hadn’t seen that Jinsol since then, and it was weirdly nice to see her come back.

__

I think a lot of us had all been thinking the same thing about Hyunjin to some extent. I understood where she was coming from, I’d felt the same desperation when I was looking for Jiwoo, but... I dunno. Hyunjin’s was almost irrational. It prevented her from thinking about the other people. Jinsol made a really good point. None of us _had_ to go with Hyunjin. I’d only done it because I’d felt compelled by the promise, but if I hadn’t promised her that? There was no way I’d be here. The risk was huge. And Hyunjin sort of had to realize that some of these people didn’t go with her out of the goodness of their own heart - they were searching for people too. She should empathize with that, not view it as an annoying obstacle in the road.

__

I think Jinsol saying it out loud finally made Hyunjin realize at least a fragment of that. Her face fell, and instead of retorting or just straight up knocking Jinsol flat, she stayed quiet. She didn’t mutter a single other complaint, and I had a creeping feeling she wouldn’t for a while.

__

“Do you know which way?” Yerim asked Jinsol gently, her soft tone quite a welcome one in this hostile exchange.

__

Jinsol took a measured breath, seeming to calm herself a bit. “I... sort of recognize the area. It’s kinda wrecked. He wouldn’t let me go to his place too much, he said it was a dump, which is probably true honestly...” A faint smile came to her face as she talked about him, but it faded just as quickly as it came. “Um... that building,” She pointed to a highrise, “I _think_ it’s the one right nextdoor. But I don’t want to get my hopes up...”   
  


“Shush.” Yerim scolded her playfully, “Get your hopes up for once. Couldn’t hurt.”

__

I scoffed under my breath, “That’s a bold statement.”

__

Yerim chose to ignore the comment, and that was fine. I wondered if Jinsol would take it to heart. Hyunjin didn’t protest when the blonde brushed past her, starting to lead the way as she headed toward the building she’d pointed to. We followed, sticking together like usual. Haseul was going slower now. Much slower. I wasn’t sure if the blood loss was catching up to her or if... the uh, person loss was. I dared to glance at her. She wouldn’t look at anybody, but she silently wiped off the tears that stained her cheeks, blinking away the glossiness to her eyes. She was strong. Damn stronger than I was. And I wasn’t ashamed to admit that, at least to myself.

__

When we rounded the corner, we all stopped in our tracks. There was a house. A small house, absolutely surrounded by infected. They formed a dense layer on all sides of it, pounding against the doors and windows. They didn’t see us, making too much of a commotion to have heard our low volume exchanges.

__

“That’s his house.” Jinsol muttered, her tone unreadable.

__

“Oh...” Hyunjin muttered weakly. I think I knew what she was implying just from her tone. It was the same one a lot of us had used on her when she was sifting through those ashes and rubble for Heejin.

__

Jinsol was quick to combat it. “Why would they be swarming it like that if there wasn’t noise from inside?” Hmm. That actually was a pretty good point. I hadn’t seen them do that unless there was provocation. “And look, see? The windows are barricaded. There’s stuff in front of them. He did that, he’s in there.” She was already walking forward, without even slight hesitation. 

__

I grabbed her arm, “Wait, we need to be smart about this Jinsol.” It wasn’t that I didn’t believe her reasons were valid - I genuinely did think that someone was in there. If not her brother, then someone else who might need help or have some supplies we could use.

__

She looked back at me, conflicted, but not irrational. The question now was, what the hell were we supposed to do? The others all granted me a collective silence that I used for rushed brainstorming, scanning the environment and what little we had at our disposal.

__

“We can set off a car alarm,” I whispered to her, “Draw them away before they spot us, then make a break for the house.” We’d have to be fast. This was a risky plan, but I wasn’t about to tell Jinsol we wouldn’t look for her brother after we’d all agreed to look for Yerim’s parents. Jinsol had lost a lot, too. It wasn’t like I’d gotten over the feeling that I owed her something, either. It was still there, lingering in the back of my head, and regardless of whether it was valid or not, it made me want to help her.

__

“Okay, but which car should we use?” Jinsol asked. She glanced around the street. There were a few vehicles here and there, all at varying levels of being trashed from the chaos.

__

I sighed, trying to assess the situation a bit and look for potential escape routes. “Wish we had Chae here. She’d know some different paths, so we wouldn’t have to charge straight through...” I led the group to a nearby building and pressed myself against the wall there, so if any of those infected felt like turning around we wouldn’t be out in the open.

__

“That car, there,” Yerim spoke up, pointing toward one right in our line of sight. “What about that one? It looks sort of okay. Like its alarms would work still.”

__

She was right. It was the most intact vehicle on the road. Hyunjin interjected softly. “I’ll throw something. Hope that’s enough to set it off, and then, um...” The process of her plan seemed to stop there.

__

Vivi finished it for her, “There’s an alley. Right here, see?” She glanced down it, “Not sure where it leads, but we don’t have much choice if that pack of them runs for us.”

__

“Maybe it’ll lead right to Jinsol’s brother’s house?” Yerim suggested hopefully. We all looked toward her skeptically, but she shrugged, unfazed. “Who knows? Maybe we’ll finally get lucky instead of unlucky.”

__

“Yeah. Sure Yerim.” I muttered that, doing my best to not sound as dismissive as I felt.

__

Hyunjin bent down suddenly, lifting a large piece of debris from the side of the road and hefting it into her hands. “I’ll throw this. Might be enough to break the windshield, if you really want to make a fuss.” I was surprised she was cooperating. I think Jinsol really put her in her place.

__

Jinsol nodded, “The louder it is the better. We need to distract them and keep them distracted.”

__

“Alright. Everyone ready to run? Haseul?” Hyunjin unexpectedly made her tone softer when she added on that last word.

__

“I’m fine.” The nurse muttered under her breath, her eyes red around the rims. They were aimed down at her feet still.

__

“You sure?” Jinsol asked her gently. “I don’t want anyone else getting hurt. Not for me.”

__

Haseul’s gaze finally lifted. She stared right at Jinsol. Her expression was dead serious, and she actually reached forward to clasp Jinsol’s hand. I noticed the haphazard stitches on her wrist again, standing out greatly on her pale skin. “I owe you. At least this. At the very least, this.” Her words were quiet. I wouldn’t have even been able to hear it if I hadn’t stood right next to the two. 

__

Jinsol seemed stunned by the sentiment. I’d sort of been able to infer that Jinsol was the one who’d done those stitches, seeing as it was her who ran out to check on Haseul in the first place, and Haseul hadn’t bled out. Jinsol really stepped up, huh? That college girl I’d bumped into just the day before _definitely_ wouldn’t have been able to do that. It was dumb, but I sort of felt... proud of her? I decided to keep that to myself, though.

__

“Everyone get ready. Okay? Three, two...” Hyunjin paused on the last second, mouthing it silently, and I nodded at her. She brought her arms back and threw that chunk of debris as hard as she could, with an athletic precision I definitely couldn’t have managed. It went crashing straight through the windshield, shattering it to bits. The alarm started to blare, the nearly deafening sound of it bouncing off the sides of the buildings.

__

“Move, with me, come on!” I whispered harshly to the rest of them, running straight into that alley. I made sure to grab Yeojin’s arm and pull her with me at my side. I’d promised I’d keep her safe and I meant that. She was still sort of disoriented and I didn’t want her to get lost in the chaos.

__

We could hear their growling. It always got louder and more intense when they heard something, but we could also hear it moving. They were drawn to the noise. It’d worked. My main concern was that it would bring more, from other places we couldn’t anticipate, and we’d get surrounded. A lot was riding on whoever was in that house letting us in. There was a turn in the alley - it’d let out right onto the road we needed. Wow. Yerim was right, we’d gotten lucky for once.

__

Jinsol took the lead. She rushed past me and sprinted up the steps to the house, the way was clear now. I wasn’t sure how long it’d stay that way. She was right to be moving fast. She pounded against the door frantically, turning the knob, but it wouldn’t budge. If the windows had been barricaded the door obviously would’ve been too. She was being loud. I shushed her harshly, catching up, but she was having none of it.

__

“How’s he gonna hear me if I whisper through this fucking door?!” She asked me, and I couldn’t blame her. The noise from the car alarm was a bit of a buffer. She’d be able to yell, at least a little bit. And she needed to if she wanted anyone inside to hear.   
  


“Hurry up! I’ll cover you.” I shifted my rifle, ready to slam the butt of it into anything that came our way. We could see the infected. They were ripping that car apart. They wrenched the half-open windows all the way down, their prying hands reaching in and scratching at the empty seats. Yerim readied her bat. Vivi had her pistol aimed too. If even one of those infected looked over here, it’d charge us, and more might follow.

__

“Hey!! Hello?!! Open the door!! It’s Jinsol!!” She pounded her fists over and over against that door, raising her voice. I was starting to wonder if it’d be too hard to hear her because of the damn alarm.

__

“Please please please...” Yerim whispered to herself, as is praying. She bounced up and down on her feet, shaking violently. She was scared and I hated it.

__

“Jinsol...” Hyunjin spoke up forebodingly. There was no response from inside. No noise, even, at least nothing I could hear. The infected were seeming to start to realize there were no people in the car, that it was just noise. Some started to pull away, their frantic eyes searching for something else. Then they fell on us. “Shit, Jinsol!! We need to run!” She said that, but she wasn’t budging from her spot. She still held that bloody machete out in front of her. She knew it was dangerous, but she wasn’t leaving us. That meant something.

__

Jinsol didn’t move, instead pounding her hands even harder against the wood. Haseul surged closer and did the same, trying to forcefully push it open, something, _anything_. “Hey!! Open this _fucking_ door, it’s your sister, let us _in_ , they see us!! Please!!”

__

Another one spotted us. Hyunjin stabbed her machete into the first one’s face and it went down hard, but the other was coming. I got ready to hit it, ready for a struggle.

__

Then the car alarm stopped blaring.

__

Jinsol was still slamming her fist against the door, and they’d heard that. All of them.

__

But then finally, it opened.

__

**_Vivi_ **

__

Someone grabbed my back from behind and pulled me inside roughly. On sheer instinct alone I made sure to cling to Yeojin’s arm, bringing her right with me as I was dragged past the threshold of the doorway. Jungeun stayed outside. She slammed her rifle into the first of that swarm, but another just grabbed onto the barrel. Shit.

__

Hyunjin was there in an instant, digging the blade of her machete straight into the infected’s neck so hard she nearly severed its head altogether. Jungeun took the small opportunity while she had it and pulled away, clamoring inside along with the rest of us. As soon as everyone was in, that door was slammed firmly shut by a man I’d never seen before. He looked like Jinsol. Oh thank god, it must’ve been her brother. _Finally_ , we got some good news instead of bad. Part of me had started to assume that some other survivor had just made their way into this house and barricaded it, that Jinsol’s brother was long gone, though I hadn’t dared to say any of that aloud.

__

“Someone help me with this!!” He spoke up, not daring to step away from the door he pressed against, but pointing to a nearby couch. There were scrapes in the wooden floor from where it’d been pushed.

__

Hyunjin was on her feet all over again, having stumbled from how quickly she dove inside. She moved to that couch and pushed it with some visible difficulty, those infected slamming their body weight against the door to the extent that it the wood was nearly buckling. They were even more aggravated than when they’d swarmed the house before. All the noise had set them off further. I rushed to give Hyunjin a hand so we’d have that extra buffer between us and that door as soon as possible. Once we got close enough, the man helped us the rest of the way, and the barricade was back. Thank goodness.

__

The air was full of everyone’s uneven, labored breaths. That’d been way too fucking close. God, how many more close calls could we have before something finally went too wrong for us to get out of it like that? What if Jinsol’s brother hadn’t opened the door, or if he’d done it just a few seconds too late? We’d be finished. They would’ve ripped us to shreds.

__

“Everyone good?” He was the first to break the silence, moving over to the startled, seeming bewildered Jinsol and pulling her to her feet. She was totally stunned. Like she almost hadn’t let herself believe he’d be okay. But here he was. In the flesh, seeming totally fine besides just a thin sheen of sweat on his face. He wore a tight-fitting white shirt, and there was a gun holster visibly on his belt. Oh? Maybe he’d be more of a help than I’d even bothered to hope.

__

Finally, once Jinsol seemed to let herself accept that he _was_ there and he _was_ okay, she threw her arms around him. He laughed weakly, returning the embrace and ruffling the hair atop her head. “Ahh, Jindori! You saved me a trip.”

__

“What?” She looked up at him, her eyes visibly glossy now. I could hardly imagine the relief she must’ve been feeling. Actually, it was probably pretty similar to how relieved I’d felt when Haseul turned up on my doorstep.

__

He let her go, practically needing to pry her off him, and gestured toward a nearby table. Some of the others had already taken the liberty of standing and noticed it. It was absolutely covered in various supplies. A map of the city was spread out in the middle, littered with pen marks and little stickers. There was some canned food, a box of bandaids, and some loose bullets scattered on its surface too, an empty backpack on the floor beneath it. “I was gearing up to go look for you.”

__

Jinsol’s lip started to quiver, but she just sniffled quickly and brought her balled up fists straight against her brother’s chest over and over again, none of the blows actually strong enough to do even remote damage. “You _idiot!_ That would’ve gotten you killed!!”

__

He raised a playful eyebrow at her, “Oh, so you _wouldn’t_ have wanted me to save your life? Gotcha, I’ll take note of that for next time...” He pulled back, looking at her face and gently brushing his thumb along her cheek, “Oh my god, what happened to your eye?! Are you--”

__

“--Don’t touch that,” Haseul interjected, stepping closer when he dumbly reached toward the bandage. “It’s healing. You wouldn’t happen to have any bandages here, would you? We should change that soon.”

__

He shook his head. His playful tone had faded altogether, a genuine concern emerging. “She didn’t lose her eye, did she??”

__

“No. It’s just a wound on her eyebrow. It was bleeding a lot, but I stitched it up. She’s okay.” Haseul explained in a professional, detached tone. Jinsol turned to look at her with a slight smile, a mutual gratitude palpable in the air between the two. I glanced toward Haseul’s wrist, remembering when Haseul had said Jinsol saved her life. My chest tightened all over again.

__

“Ah. Typical Jinsol, always getting hurt one way or another. I’ve gotta say, the eyepatch looks good on you. Just need a cutlass and a pegleg and you can go full pirate.” His sly smile had returned all over again once he’d been assured that Jinsol wasn’t in any serious danger.

__

Jinsol sighed weakly, glaring up at her brother, “Stop joking around! Do you have any idea how dangerous is is out there?!” I’d never heard her voice that emotional before. Her volume was raising as if on its own, she was almost screaming in his face. He was totally unfazed, though. I think he was used to pushing her buttons, and I think deep down, she probably liked the familiarity.

__

He still wore that smile, and it only seemed to widen the longer she talked with him, despite the seriousness of the subject. He was just too happy to see her. Instead of directly answering her question, he turned his focus to everyone else in the room. “Sorry for my rude sister. I’m sure you’ve gotten used to it by now. I’m Junhee. Call me Jun, if you want, or don’t, doesn’t matter.” He stepped away from Jinsol, going as far as to shake each one of our hands individually and learning all of our names. His grip was firm, unwavering.

__

_**** _

_**Park Junhee** _

Jinsol took a deep breath, steadying herself at least slightly. “Jun, I’m serious, how did you even make it this far? If Jungeun hadn’t found me, I would’ve...”

__

He spun to face her after lifting something from the table I hadn’t noticed. It was a police badge. He tapped it gently, light reflecting off of it from a nearby lamp. It was dark inside this house from all the barricades over the windows, he needed those lights. Plus, it was getting dark out. God it’d been a long day. “You seem to forget I’m one of the city’s finest, Jindori. You don’t give me enough credit, I know how to take care of myself.” He was trying to keep things light. It was refreshing, really, but I could see through it. He was leaving something out. If I could see it, I was sure Jinsol could too.

__

“Jun... were you with someone? You couldn’t have put up all these barricades by yourself.” There were wooden boards hammered over all the windows. We’d actually gotten lucky that he hadn’t decided to do the same with the front door, or it would’ve been practically impossible for him to let us in on time even if he’d wanted to.

__

He laughed hollowly, “You don’t think I could...?” His face finally fell. We all got quiet just as he did, his piercing gaze moving to the floorboards. I noticed blood splattered on them that I hadn’t before. It looked like someone had tried to scrub it away. “Minjae. He... helped. Saved my ass, as per usual...”

__

Jinsol recognized the name, “Is he--?”

__

“--Not here. He’s...” He didn’t even let her finish the sentence, not wanting to hear its implications. He kept things vague, as if the mere concept of what had presumably happened was too much for him to hear. “He’s not here.”

__

“I’m sorry--” Jinsol tried to speak up again, offer condolences. But everything went dead silent when every light went out with a faint click. Before we knew it, the room was plunged into absolute darkness.

__

**_Hyunjin_ **

__

“Ugh, I can’t see shit!!” I blurted out in frustration, hating to be so disoriented. I couldn’t even see my hand if I held it in front of my face.

  
“U-um, guys?! I-I can’t see-- _ah!_ Who’s that?!” Yerim’s voice exclaimed from somewhere to my right.

__

“Me! It’s just me, it’s okay.” Yeojin said her first words since we’d found her dad. Her tone was surprisingly comforting and steady, while Yerim’s had been uneasy and panicked. I think she was scared of the dark. I mean I wasn’t a fan either. Nobody was too amused with this situation.

__

“We need a light, does anyone have a light?! Anywhere?! Jun, a flashlight or something?” I heard Jinsol trying to rationalize the situation as best as she could. There were scattered, uneven, cautious footsteps stumbling blindly around the room. It was the kind of dark where your eyes don’t even really adjust to it, you’re just actually blind.

__

Jun chuckled weakly, “Funnily enough, I didn’t once consider the power going out-- ow.” He clamored accidentally into some piece of furniture on the other side of the room. I just stayed put, knowing that if I tried to move I’d just wind up tripping and hurting myself somehow too.

__

“Hold on, um, I think, oh! Here,” After a few quiet clicking sounds from my left, a light finally appeared. It was dim, but it was enough, and we were all thankful for it. Vivi had pulled out a lighter from somewhere, and although the flame was waning and weak, it was something. She walked over to Jun, handing it to him gently. “Get us whatever lights you can. Something must’ve hit a power line, I’m surprised it didn’t happen earlier, actually.” She took her glasses off, cleaning the lenses on the bloodied lab coat she still wore.

__

“Coming right up.” He rushed out of the room with that lighter, going quick so as not to leave us in the darkness for too long. We all sat in silence, still catching our breath from all of the panic. It didn’t help that we could still hear those things slamming their fists against the windows and doors relentlessly, growling the whole time.

__

I sighed heavily and buried my face into my hands. God, what was I even doing? I’d totally lost sight of myself. Of everything. All I wanted was to get to Heejin, and the desperation had gotten so intense I didn’t care about a single other thing. That was bad. These were good people, each and every one of them. Even if they’d come with me for their own reasons, they were still _with_ me, despite all the danger. They were innocent, good, helpful, caring. They deserved to live, and if I could help keep them breathing, I should. Heejin would want me to. Heejin would be prioritizing everyone else over herself. She’d be comforting Yeojin and Haseul about their dad. She’d be pestering Vivi for as much information about the infection as possible. She’d be holding my hand and cowering behind me when things got bad, only to rush to anyone’s aid if they needed it, almost getting herself killed. She’d be keeping me grounded and reminding me of the person I actually was, the person she made me want to be. But she wasn’t here. So I needed to do all that myself, and I wasn’t sure if I had it in me.

__

The light came back, illuminating all of our sweaty, exhausted faces in the warm glow. Jun was holding a handful of flashlights, and a bunch of candles which he’d already clumsily started to light. Jinsol took them from him, rolling her eyes, “You’re an accident waiting to happen, dumbass.” She started to set those candles around the room, lighting their wicks as she went. In a few minutes, we could see again.

__

Haseul seemed antsty. Her arms were crossed, and she started to pace. “So we’re trapped in here, then?”

__

Jun sighed, walking back to that table, his makeshift base of operations. “Hey, I was trapped in here before, but now I’ve got friends. This was a win for me! I won’t speak for the rest of you, though.”

__

I’d noticed the map on that table, and I quickly got to my feet, approaching him as I tugged the one from my own pocket I’d kept. I traced my thumb over the vague drawing again, trying my best not to picture how panicked Heejin must’ve been when she made it. This map was different from his. It focused more on the city and very small surrounding areas, while his showed the whole region pretty thoroughly.

__

“We’re trying to get here.” I laid mine down next to his, pointing at the spot Heejin marked.

__

“Hmm.” He shifted his gaze, looking it over thoroughly. “That’s not too far. On foot, probably an hour or two. Why? What’s there? A safe haven or something?” Hope flickered in his dark eyes for a moment.

__

“Maybe not for you.” I muttered under my breath. Heejin was my safe haven.

__

Yerim piped up again before Jun could question what I’d said. “We think maybe it hasn’t spread outside the city. Yaknow, like, it just got bad here because there were so many people, in a big crowded place? And a rural area would be more spread out.” I hadn’t really heard her explain her reasoning like that, and I hadn’t anticipated how reasonable it’d sound. A small spark of hope lit up in my chest too. I hadn’t at all expected it. I hadn’t felt real hope like that in a while. If Heejin did get out of the city and to that town, maybe she was safe. Safer than us. That’s all I wanted, was for her to be safe. With or without me, just to be safe.

__

He shrugged, looking back at her. “Appreciate the optimism, Yerim was it?” She nodded with a small smile which he returned with another toothy grin. “You may be right. In all honesty, I don’t know shit about what’s going on besides that it got my friend killed, and that those things love biting.”

__

Vivi took a step forward, her tone shifting to her intelligent, refined one on a dime. “It’s some sort of viral infection, it spreads through the bites and they--”

__

He held up his hand politely, “Thank you Miss Vivi, but for now, I think I know the basics. I don’t need a science-y explanation, I think it’ll just overload my brain.”

__

Jinsol shook her head. “God you’re such an idiot.”

__

“Runs in the family!” He rolled up that map suddenly, roughly snatching the backpack from beneath the table as he started to load things into it. “And uh, Jungeun?” He pointed toward Haseul, who shook her head from the mistake. He snapped his fingers, “Haseul! Sorry, um, we’re trapped, you are correct. And if possible, we should get out of here as soon as we can. Head out to the country, check Yerim’s theory.”

__

I reached forward, gently poking his arm to get his attention. “I’m looking for someone too. She’s supposed to be there, at that spot. That’s why it’s marked.”

__

His eyebrows raised. “Ah! We’ve got a missing person’s case, huh? Technically I’m not supposed to look for them until they’ve been unaccounted for for 48 hours, but I’d say that these are some pretty extraordinary circumstances, so I’ll make an exception.” I knew he was just trying to be funny, which was fine, but I didn’t have much patience for it. Not anymore. Despite that, I kept my frustrations internal. I needed to stop lashing out at people. It didn’t get us anywhere besides mad at each other.

__

“Jun could you shut up for like, ten seconds?” Jinsol asked, shutting her eyes as if she had a headache. “You barely even made it out of the academy.”

__

He shook his head, “You really bring that up whenever you can, huh? Point is that I made it and I have this,” He lifted his badge again before pinning it proudly to his chest, making sure to gesture to a pair of handcuffs I hadn’t noticed that hung from his belt. “So I could technically arrest you for your teasing.”

__

Haseul sighed in visible frustration, saying what I was restraining myself from blurting out. “Can we stop with the sibling banter for a second, please? We need to get the fuck out of here.”

__

“The roof. What about that?” I offered the idea. “Do you have a way up from inside?” This house wasn’t much. Just one story, but if I remembered the roof was pretty flat. We could stand on top, maybe climb to another building or something. We were literally right on the outskirts. If the back windows hadn’t been barricaded, we could probably look out and see the countryside.

__

Jun stared pensively up at the ceiling for a moment. “Umm... yeah, I think there’s a way up from the attic. Why?”

__

“We can look around. Evaluate our surroundings without being in their reach.” Jungeun spoke up on my behalf, as if reading my mind. Her authoritative tone always seemed to pack more of a punch than mine. Probably because of her giant rifle. I didn’t let it bother me. We were on even ground with how much help we could be. It wasn’t like she could just unleash a full clip into a horde of them, because that’d just draw another one to fill its place.

__

“Good idea.” Haseul nodded in agreement, surprisingly enough seeming the most eager to get out. Usually that role was for me. I wondered why she was in such a rush, she never was normally. In fact, she was usually one of the more level-headed patient ones. Losing her dad had really rattled her. She hadn’t been prepared for it, we hadn’t even gone looking for him. In a way, he found us instead of the other way around. I empathized. Really I did. If we’d been closer I would’ve felt better equipped to tell her sorry, or to say much of anything, which nobody had done. It wasn’t like we’d gotten a chance.

__

Jinsol started looking around, “I’d go myself, but you never let me come over so I don’t even know where it’d be.” She glanced at the scattered pieces of trash strewn all over the floor. There was no way this much mess could’ve been from just the two days since the world had seemingly ended. “Now I see why.”

__

“Shut up, I’m a bachelor.” Jun defended himself with the meager excuse, leading the way as he went over to a nearby hatch. He pulled it open, a small metal ladder emerging as well as a thick layer of dust. He waved some of it out of the air, coughing weakly, “Sorry. Never really use this. Don’t have much to store up there, everything I own could fit into a single box.”

__

“Whatever, let’s just go.” Haseul walked over toward the newly unveiled ladder, wanting to mount it first, but was stopped in her tracks when Yeojin suddenly grabbed her arm as she passed. Haseul froze. Her face fell, and she got that same look of absolute devastation that she’d had in that alleyway. It was like Yeojin touching her brought it all back to the forefront of her mind, when she’d only just started to forget. We all collectively stopped still.

__

Yeojin didn’t say anything. She just moved forward and hid her face in her older sister’s shoulder, and I saw Haseul’s lip start to quiver. She didn’t say a word, instead wrapping her arms around the small, trembling girl, and lightly kissing the top of her head. Her eyes shut. Whatever composure she’d managed to build up until this moment just seemed to dissipate into thin air, and the same went for Yeojin.

__

“I’m...” Vivi spoke up suddenly, her voice soft and timid. More so than I’d ever heard it. “I’m so sorry.”

__

There’d been something gnawing at my gut ever since Yeojin revealed his identity in the alley. I knew it was guilt. I... hadn’t dealt with him very gracefully or respectfully. More specifically I’d shoved my machete so deep in his guts that I’d nearly felt the intestines on my knuckles, and they’d just stood there and watched it happen. I... I didn’t want them to resent me for it. I wasn’t sure if they did, I wasn’t sure if that was even in their heads, but I needed to speak up.

__

I took a small step forward, sighing weakly. “Hey, if I’d known who... if I’d known, I never would’ve--”

__

“--What?” Haseul interrupted me suddenly, the tone to her voice unreadable. “You wouldn’t have killed him?” Yeojin flinched in her arms, but Haseul didn’t waver in the slightest from what she was saying. I just stared at her, my lips still parted, but I had no idea what to say. No idea what I was originally even going to say. “Don’t be stupid. He was one of them. You were protecting us.” Haseul pulled away from her sister, despite her weak attempts to cling back onto her shirt. Yerim stepped up instead, wrapping her arms loosely around Yeojin’s middle from behind. The younger girl leaned into the contact. She needed it. Haseul turned to look at me, staring dead into my eyes. “I appreciate it. I couldn’t have done it. So...” She didn’t finish whatever she planned. I think maybe she was considering thanking me. But that’d be too much.

__

A silence spread. A long, tense silence. I nodded ever so slightly, not knowing what else to do. I’d never dealt with something like this before - with grief. I didn’t know how to comfort them and I wasn’t sure if I should even try, for fear of being unintentionally insensitive. _That_ was something I unfortunately knew I was good at.

__

Jun cleared his throat politely, probably not having the slightest clue what was even going on as he awkwardly eavesdropped. “Um... did you want to go?” All eyes moved to him and a blush rose to his cheeks. “Um, I-I mean, we don’t have to go yet if you guys are--”

__

“--We’ll go.” Haseul interjected, stopping whatever rambling was about to occur. She was the first to head toward the ladder. “I just want to get the fuck out of this graveyard.”

__

In a matter of minutes we were all up that ladder. My heart was in my throat when I realized that Vivi had been right. The whole city went dark, lost power right as the sun dipped out of view. It was still dark outside, but moonlight and stars gave us enough light for our eyes to adjust. The real question was if it was enough for the infected. I wasn’t about to test it out, but it was a question worth considering.

__

We all crouched on top of the roof, not wanting to stand for fear of being spotted. The infected were pounding mainly on the side windows and the front door, where they’d seen us go in. They weren’t smart enough to try and look for other entrances, so the back of the house was actually pretty clear. There was a fire escape right across from us, probably only a jump away, that led into the adjacent building.

__

Jungeun looked around with narrowed eyes. “We could make a distraction. Throw something across the street, lead them away.” Her whisper was soft, almost hard to hear over all the rabid growls from beneath us.

__

Jun raised an eyebrow, “Would that work? Are they that dumb?”

__

“They’re pretty stupid.” I explained to him, “Can’t see in the dark either. They’re drawn to noise.”

__

Jinsol piped up too. “So we make a distraction, but which way do we go?”

__

“The back door is barricaded shut. If this is a time sensitive thing, I’d recommend just dropping down from the roof instead of me trying to pry those boards off.” Jun muttered, “But let me just grab some things from inside. I’ve got a hammer. Could definitely bash a skull in, and some of you look unarmed. Anyone want dibs on it?” He looked around, waiting for someone to raise their hand or something, but nobody did anything of the sort. We weren’t really in the mood to “call dibs” on a hammer. The only one without weapons were Haseul and Yeojin, and neither of the two were really in a position to wield one. “Alright... back in a sec.”

__

I guess he was leaving us to deliberate. Jungeun met my eyes, wordly expressing that we all needed to decide this together, and that she wanted my input too.

__

**_Vivi_ **

__

“The fire escape. There.” I pointed toward it, my voice low. My main concern at this point was Haseul. I wouldn’t let her get any more hurt. I didn’t even want to leave her side. I shouldn’t have separated from her back in Yerim’s house. If I’d been there, I could’ve stitched up her wrist better, maybe even prevented her from falling out that window altogether. The palpable regret in my chest was intense, and it sure as hell wasn’t going anywhere. The only thing I could do about it was make sure nothing else happened now, not while I was there.

__

“Why that? Why not straight to the ground? We can just start running.” Hyunjin offered, for once not trying to be combative, just genuinely wondering. “We don’t know what’s in that building. Could be more of them.”

__

“I don’t want Haseul jumping off that. Or any of us. It’s not too high, but I’d rather not take the risk of any of our ankles getting broken.” I explained my reasoning to her. Haseul was at my side, and her fingers unexpectedly intertwined with mine. My heart skipped a subtle beat. I just gently squeezed her hand, glad that she appreciated my concern instead of dismissing it like she had with everyone else.

__

Hyunjin nodded just as Jun emerged from inside and joined us on the roof. He had a hammer in one hand, “Anyone want this?” Haseul surprisingly reached to take it, with her wounded hand no less, and I wondered if I should stop her. I mean... she’d only gotten injured, she wasn’t unable to make her own decisions, and I didn’t want to demean her by overstepping my bounds. So I stayed quiet. She probably just felt safer with a weapon of her own, and that was valid. Once it was out of his grasp he smiled weakly at her, “Alright, what’s the plan then?”

__

Jinsol answered him quickly. “Fire escape. We’re jumping.”

__

Guess everyone else wordlessly agreed with the plan I’d proposed. Jun nodded in understanding, “Great. Also I brought this.” He lifted what I recognized as a firecracker. “Thought it’d be good for that distraction someone mentioned earlier.”

__

“Nice.” Jungeun pointed out, grabbing it from him and gesturing toward me for my lighter. I handed it to her weakly and before lighting the fuse, she looked at the rest of us. “Everyone ready to jump? I’ll throw it as far as I can, and it’ll make some noise, but we have to be ready.” Everyone nodded wordlessly.

__

She flicked the lighter open, bringing that flame to the wick and hurling it off down the road. It landed a bit past the car whose alarm we initially set off, popping and making all sorts of noise. It drew the infecteds’ attention in an instant, the noise and the flashing lights more than enough to distract them. They turned and they ran straight for it, tripping over one another from their frenzy.

__

Jungeun went first. We really weren’t that high off the ground, thankfully, so her fear of heights that I remembered didn’t much factor in here. She landed rather sturdily, feet planting firmly down on the rickety metal. It made noise, a fair bit of it, but the infected were too far off and distracted to be drawn in. She gestured frantically for the rest of us to follow, looking ready to help with landing safely.

__

Haseul sent Yeojin over first. She was light and small enough that Jungeun basically caught her, not even letting her feet touch the metal on their own before she lowered her down. I made Haseul go second. Then Yerim, Jinsol, Hyunjin, me, and Jun last. Jungeun didn’t like the thought of us all being on the rather rickety fire escape all at once. She opened up a nearby window and started ushering people inside, so there were only a few people on it at a time.

__

This was some sort of apartment building. The second floor of one. We were in someone’s place, but based on the silent stillness of everything, I was going to assume there were no infected inside. We hadn’t been that graceful getting over here, and there’d been enough noise for it to lure them, but we were safe so far. Or I mean, as safe as we could be. Jun had taken out the pistol he’d had holstered on his waist.

__

No more words were exchanged. We needed to be quiet. Jungeun and Hyunjin led the way, as per usual. We rushed swiftly into the hall, down what looked like a set of back steps and onto a relatively empty main road. Once we were back outside again, Hyunjin started running full speed straight into the countryside now ahead of us. She was just full on sprinting, the motion tinged with athleticism but also showing nothing but sheer desperation. We matched her pace as best as we could, for as long as we could. It couldn’t hurt to put some more distance between us and the city. Haseul was the first to start slowing down, struggling to catch her breath. She’d lost a lot of blood, she couldn’t keep going like this.

__

“Hey, slow down Hyunjin!” I called out to her, needing to raise my voice so she’d hear because she was a ways off. Her wide, slightly panicked eyes found mine when she glanced over her shoulder, and although part of me expected her to disregard what I’d said, she stopped still in an instant. She hunched over, doing her best to catch her breath.

__

“Please,” She turned to fully face us, “ _Please._ I just need to get to her. Why’re we stopping?” She could hardly breathe. She had sweat dripping from her brow. Her eyes were red around the rims.

__

Jungeun stepped toward her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “You’re about to fall over. We need to rest, none of us have eaten in almost a day.”

__

Hyunjin sighed heavily, visibly frustrated and overwhelmed. I empathized with her, I always had, but we couldn’t just run madly like this forever. “Please. We’re almost there. I-I’m fine, I don’t need anything, please let me keep going.” She was panting. Her skin was paler than normal.

__

Haseul staggered slightly, not falling, but getting damn close. I gravitated toward her side, ready to support her if need be, but making sure to give my input, “Hyunjin, be reasonable. At least just drink some water. We have enough.” Haseul looked lightheaded. She needed to eat something.

__

Hyunjin sniffled, seeming twitchy and agitated. “Please, please...” She wasn’t going to insist or pressure us. No, instead she was just _begging_ , and that was somehow so much worse to watch. We all knew she was desperate, but earlier it had shown through as aggravation and hotheadedness. Now it had boiled down to what it really was, deep down.

__

“Hey...” Jinsol surprisingly stepped up, placing a gentle hand on Hyunjin’s cheek. I expected the distraught girl to recoil from the contact but she instead just leaned into it, shutting her eyes. “You need to eat something. You need to be strong for when you get to her.”

__

Haseul grimaced, blinking rapidly. She was tired. I moved to a nearby car and sat her down on the bumper. She shut her eyes, leaning her head back against the car’s window. I reached up, gently patting her cheek with my hand. “Hey, hey hey. You’re okay. I’m gonna get you something to eat.” I slung my backpack off my shoulders and unzipped it, rooting through the meager contents I’d managed to scavenge from my apartment. There was an orange there, and I frantically started peeling it for her, thinking maybe the vitamin C would help.

__

Yerim opened her backpack as well, pulling a bottle of water from it and handing it weakly to Hyunjin. The exhausted girl just took it, still panting, staring down at the road. She took a slow sip from it. Yerim took it upon herself to pass out reasonable rations of food to the others, and Jun took some from his own pack. We were at least semi-secluded among all these abandoned cars. Jun and Jungeun didn’t let their guard down. It made me feel safer, but my only concern was tending to Haseul. I placed the orange gently in palm. She ate it slowly, coming more and more to her senses as the minutes dragged on.

__

“You’re okay, sweetie. You are.” I whispered to her softly, running my thumb gently along her cheek. I felt her skin heating up and I placed the back of my hand on her forehead. “You’re warm... do you think you could be running a fever?” I asked her medical opinion, knowing it might be more useful than mine.

__

She blinked at me, just staring into my eyes for a few lingering moments before smiling sheepishly. “No. Just blushing.”

__

I chuckled under my breath, ignoring the color I felt rushing to my own cheeks from how unintentionally adorable she was. “Well, me too now.” She avoided my gaze. “Thanks for that.”

__

“You’re welcome...” Yerim approached the two of us and handed Haseul another bottle of water, which she took with a kind smile. After drinking from it for a few lingering moments, she looked back at me again. “I’m feeling better. I just needed to eat a little something. I think we all did...”

__

“I like looking out for you.” I told her timidly, feeling a sensation in my heart that I hadn’t for... a while. She’d always been the only one who ever made me feel it, so that part was familiar.

__

“I appreciate it. But you don’t have to. You need to look out for yourself.” That was typical Haseul. Selfless.

__

She wasn’t going to accept anything less than my full cooperation, so I just gave in. “Okay. But I can’t say I won’t still look out for you sometimes.” She frowned slightly, and I just shrugged at her. “Old habits die hard.”

__

She shook her head at me, that faint, sincere smile still there. “Well now I’m blushing again...”

__

I clasped her free hand and brushed my thumb against the back of it. “Glad I can still do that to you. Even with all this.”

__

“I...” She stared at me hard, tightening her grip on my hand, her old weakness barely there anymore. “I’m not gonna let anything happen to you or Yeojin. Okay? You’re... you’re all I have left.” Her voice broke on the last word. I brought the back of her hand to my lips and placed a gentle kiss there. Although I didn’t want to say it, in case it’d worry her, the sentiment was mutual

__

**_Haseul_ **

__

We needed to go. We’d been stopped long enough. I didn’t like staying put, we didn’t know enough about the infected to know if they’d wander out here and come after us. I had the hammer now, which I felt much better with, but I didn’t really trust my ability to fight them off. I was acting like it was fine, but the whole blood loss thing had thrown me for a loop. I ate a bit more, drank some extra water, and I knew I’d be okay, but my head still spun sometimes. Jun had walked over to Hyunjin, who had yet to fully calm down despite us being stopped for what must’ve been fifteen solid minutes. He was showing her the map he had and she was comparing it with the one she’d found on that campus.

__

I was doing my best not to think about... him. I couldn’t. This wasn’t the time or the place to try and process... that. I wondered if there ever would be a time or place. I looked over at Yeojin. She was sitting on the pavement next to Yerim, resting her head on the girl’s shoulder, dead silent. Seeing her quiet like that spoke volumes. She never got quiet. Ever. More than anything I wished she hadn’t seen that. I wished I’d snapped myself out of it fast enough to block her eyes. But I’d just... frozen. Parts of my brain still felt frozen. Like I couldn’t think, couldn’t process. I stared down at the pavement, at the stitches in my wrist, at the blood stain on the leg of my scrubs. I wondered about Yerim’s theory - about it being safe out here.

__

“How’s everyone feeling?” Jinsol asked gently. It was dark. I wanted to rest, more than anything, but I knew that Hyunjin wouldn’t stop until we got to this town we’d been talking about. I thought back on what Jun had said about it. An hour of walking, at least. I just wanted to lay down on the pavement and pass out, but I kept that to myself. We needed to help her. The only reason it was so late was because of our personal detours. Now it was her personal detour.

__

That question was probably heavily aimed at me, since I was the main reason we’d stopped, so I spoke quickly. “I’m fine. Let’s keep going.” I finished off the water in the bottle I’d been given, and Vivi put the empty plastic container back into her bag. Everyone got to their feet, sleepiness starting to visibly show in all of us, but we fought through it.

__

Hyunjin was too jittery to show any outward signs of sleepiness. I had no idea how she was even still standing. It’d taken an excessive amount of convincing and prodding to get her to eat much of anything, she just kept claiming she wasn’t hungry, which might’ve been true. I think she was too stressed to have much of an appetite, but she needed to eat. She was running herself ragged.

__

“Alright, u-um, Jun says if we go this way it might be a bit faster. So we’re going this way.” She was already heading in that direction without waiting for a response from anyone. We were slowly walking after her, until she made sure to preface something further. “I’m gonna be running. I-I can’t help it. I need to get there. If you can’t keep up, feel free to take a break, but please don’t stop me again.”

__

Nobody spoke. There was a silent, mutual compliance. Hyunjin broke into that same sprint, leading the way a fair distance ahead of the rest of us who could only maintain a moderate jog. Jun shrugged and muttered something to Jinsol before picking up his pace to effortlessly match Hyunjin’s, wanting to stick by her side. I felt better with him there. Hyunjin wasn’t by herself. Jinsol made some flippant comment about regretting not keeping up with her cardio, something I normally would’ve laughed at, but I didn’t have it in me.

__

It was dark out and thus hard to thoroughly examine our surroundings, but the further we got away from the city, the more discouraged I became. It didn’t seem normal out here. Cars were left abandoned with no owners in sight. There was broken glass scattering the roads and forgotten belongings randomly sprinkled on the side of the pavement. Sometimes there was blood. That’s what I really let my gaze linger on. There was blood but no bodies. Which, in my head, only implied infected. I wasn’t sure if Yerim was noticing any of this, or Yeojin. But I didn’t want to point it out, in case they hadn’t. They could cling to hope for as long as they wanted. As long as they could. I didn’t plan on pulling them back to reality until it stared us right in the face and we had no other choice.

__

Nobody said much of anything. There wasn’t much to say. We were all lost in our own thoughts, our own worries, our own theories about how things might wind up being when we got to this town. I hoped Hyunjin’s girlfriend was okay. Really, that was all I hoped for. I hoped Hyunjin found her, and could get that relief. She deserved it, after everything she’d gone through to get this far.

__

I started to think differently. What would I do, if the roles were switched, and I was looking for Vivi...? Now that I thought about it, I’d probably be doing damn near the same exact things. I couldn’t blame Hyunjin. I never had, not quite. I didn’t agree with some of her methodology, but I understood that she was just too panicked for her own good.

__

We kept going. Time was passing slowly but surely, and we were covering a lot of ground. No signs of infected, but no signs of life either. I knew it was late at night, but it wasn’t late enough for there to be no people, no cars, no nothing.

__

The first sign of any life that we saw was a fire. A roaring, distant fire, and a dark thick plume of smoke tainting the clear night sky. It looked like it was coming from some sort of town. Suddenly, Jun firmly grabbed Hyunjin’s arm. She stopped in her tracks and we all caught up from the pause. I eavesdropped the last fragments of whatever they’d been talking about and my heart dropped.

__

“That doesn’t matter, y-you’re wrong.” Hyunjin told him, her eyes wide and terrified.

__

Jun shook his head, trying desperately to point at the map in his hand and convince her. “I’m not. Look, that’s the spot she must’ve circled here, I--”

__

“--No. I-I don’t believe you.” She shook her head back and forth frantically. She was losing it.

__

He sighed in frustration, not wanting to push her but clearly not understanding how else he could rationalize this. “Hyunjin, it’s off the highway. It’s right there. If you really think she drew this and that this is where she went, then she went over there. To that town.” He pointed toward it emphatically. “This is your girlfriend, right?” Hyunjin nodded, her eyes getting glossier and glossier by the second. “Then what if she’s in there? What if she needs help?” She stared at him hard, before finally sniffling and turning to face that town in utter flames.

__

“Um... might not be the best idea to go--” Vivi tried to speak up, be a voice of reason, as per usual. It fell on deaf ears.

__

“--She might be there.” Hyunjin blurted out, tears visibly clinging to her eyelashes. “If she’s there I have to go. You don’t have to come with me, but I _have to go_.” She spoke her last words through clenched teeth, her hands balling up into fists as well. Her whole body was shaking.

__

Jinsol stepped up, “You aren’t going alone. We’ll help you, like you helped us.” Hyunjin stared at her with those eyes wide with disbelief, blinking frantically to try and keep herself from crying. “Or at least, I’ll go with you. I guess I can’t speak for everyone else...”

__

“I’ll go with you.” I felt the need to speak up. The panic and desperation in Hyunjin’s eyes was enough to reinvigorate me, take some of the exhaustion out of my bones. She needed help. I’d never seen someone who needed it more. And I wasn’t going to just turn away from her, after everything.

__

“We’re with you, obviously...” Yerim piped up, Yeojin still attached to her at the hip. Vivi clasped my hand in a gesture implying the same thing.

__

Jungeun shifted her rifle on her back, “I made you a promise. I intend to keep it.” Hyunjin’s gaze flitted between all of us frantically, the disbelief only becoming more prominent the longer the seconds dragged on. She’d never expected this. She genuinely thought she’d have to do this all by herself.

__

“O-okay, um, let’s go. Come on.” She started to lead the way, but she didn’t run anymore. She just jogged. I think she was scared of what she’d find. The fire was still raging. Burning buildings to absolute ash and reducing them to just their foundations. Although none of us said this aloud for fear of damaging Hyunjin irreparably, all I could think was that whatever we were going to find here wasn’t going to be good.

__

***

__

This town was totally destroyed. Whatever wasn’t on fire was littered with corpses, ashen husks of old cars, blood, and debris. We could barely walk. As long as we stayed away from buildings, the smoke didn’t get too intense, but the air quality was awful. Everything had fallen apart here. I didn’t know how, but it seemed recent. Some of the bodies were people and some were infected. It had spread all the way out here. Hell, with how little we knew about it, it may’ve come from here. Either way, Yerim’s theory wasn’t right. I glanced at her over my shoulder. She was staring straight ahead deliberately, as if the last thing she wanted was to look at anything around us. I think she knew. She wasn’t dumb or delusional. If anything, she must’ve just been sad, and although I definitely didn’t want that, there wasn’t much I could do about it.

__

Hyunjin was losing it the further we got in. She’d slowed her pace even further, looking frantically from side to side at the buildings we passed to see if there were any even remotely intact, kicking over each body we stepped over to look at its face. I braced myself every time she did it. What if one of them was her girlfriend? What would Hyunjin even do...? I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to comfort her, despite how badly I’d want to. I wasn’t sure if anything would be able to get to her after that. Her breathing was getting erratic, her motions less coordinated.

__

“God... what _happened_ here?” Jun asked, staring at our destroyed surroundings in bordering on disbelief. The sentiment was mutual. The city had been destroyed, but it was different from this. It wasn’t literally in flames. It felt like we’d just willingly walked straight into hell.

__

Vivi started theorizing answers to his clearly hypothetical question. “Probably just a small fire that got out of hand without proper procedure to put it out. Could’ve happened from anything really, there were fires all over the city too. If that sort of thing happened here, with all these close together, wooden structures... it’s like throwing a match into a tin of gasoline. Nothing here to stop it...”

__

“W-What about the firefighters? Or something? Anything?” Hyunjin was asking desperately, grasping at straws she wasn’t even sure were there. Her body was visibly shaking. We reached an intersection and she stopped dead in the middle of it, next to the remains of a nasty car accident, and looked around on all sides. It was all the same. All burning.

__

“I don’t know, Hyunjin.” Vivi told her softly. We all needed to raise our voices to even be heard over the sound of the crackling flames all around us.

__

“It’s hot...” Yeojin muttered weakly. She was right. I was starting to sweat through my scrubs.

__

“She had to come here. S-She had to, it’s the spot she marked, she was here, at some point,” She was rambling so fast and incoherently I could barely understand her. I wasn’t even sure if she was trying to convince the rest of us or just herself. “Maybe she was here before the fire started. Maybe she, uh, she left, a-and went somewhere else...?” She was spinning in circles in that intersection, trying to pick a way to go, but they all looked like they had the same amount of potential - which was essentially none. She buried her hands into her hair, the glossiness to her eyes only getting worse.

__

Jungeun stepped forward, placing a gentle hand on Hyunjin’s back, and the poor girl flinched at her touch. “Hyunjin... we’ll look wherever you want to look. But...” She didn’t say anything more, instead just looking around at the absolute destruction of this husk of a civilization.

__

Hyunjin just... collapsed. She fell down to her knees, and she buried her face into her hands, and she wouldn’t look at anyone or anything anymore. She rocked herself back and forth, her breaths so erratic at this point I think she may’ve been having an utter panic attack. She didn’t know what to do now. Before this, she’d always had a bit of a game plan, a destination, something to work toward, but now? All the leads had dried up into nothing. She had no path to follow, no hope to cling to. If she wanted to find her girlfriend now, if she was even alive, she’d have to search the whole world for her, amongst all this. And I think that was finally hitting her all at once.

__

I stepped closer quickly, kneeling at her side without hesitation and rubbing my hand along her back. She was shaking so hard. Yerim joined me, instead taking the initiative to sit in front of Hyunjin right on the pavement of the road, not caring that there was shattered glass and ashes there. She gently clasped both of Hyunjin’s wrists and she stared deeply into her raw, red eyes. There were no tears there, they were just glossy, distant, devastated. She matched Yerim’s gaze, staring deeply at her.

__

“W-Why did I even do this? Why did I even come here? What if she didn’t even draw on that map...? What if I led you guys here for nothing, got you all almost killed for nothing, w-what if she’s back in the city, or out somewhere else, or anywhere but here and I-I _can’t_ find her?” Her words left her so frantically and fast, Yerim staring deeply at her to make sure she understood the rambling.

__

Yerim glanced at me. Literally looking to me for advice. I didn’t know what to tell her. That was so much to process. My heart ached for Hyunjin so tangibly. She was hanging on by a mere thread. We had to do something... unless, maybe it wasn’t good to do that. Maybe it wasn’t best to indulge in those hopes, to give her more straws to grab at when she’d just started to realize that they were just that - straws.

__

“Hyunjin... let’s just think for a second. Okay?” I gently nudged Yerim away, taking her place in front of this girl who was crumbling away right in front of me. She nodded weakly, her lip quivering, and I gently clasped both of her violently trembling hands. “So... you left your girlfriend in that kitchen back in the city. Right?” She nodded slowly. “She wasn’t there. So, she got out, right?” She nodded again along with my words. “Do you think she would’ve been able to get out by herself? Or do you think it’s more likely someone helped her?” I spoke slowly, as calmly as I could. I was hoping it’d ground her back to reality a bit more.

__

Hyunjin spoke frantically, “I-I don’t know, I-I just don’t know anymore i-if--”

__

I squeezed her hands, leaning closer. “Hey. Shh. We’re dealing with likelihoods now, that’s all.” She blinked at me, sniffling. “So, do you think it’s more _likely_ that she got help from someone, or that she got out alone?”

__

She blinked rapidly, doing her best to focus and rationalize with me, but her emotions were riding so dreadfully high it was difficult. “T-That she got help.”

__

I nodded, “Okay, so. She got help from someone to get out of the kitchen. She probably stuck with that person, right? Is that something she’d do?” Hyunjin nodded again. “Okay, so she was with someone. Or maybe multiple someones. Do you think she’d have any reason to come here, to this specific town? Like, do you know this place? Or does she?”

__

Hyunjin shook her head firmly, “N-No, I’ve never been here before. She has some family, but they don’t live a-anywhere near here.”

__

“Okay. So then what probably happened was, whoever was with her wanted to come here. They had the attachment, not her.” I was really just using common sense and deduction, but Hyunjin was looking at me like I was some sort of genius. All the others were staying dead silent too, listening in on the conversation or keeping their guard up so we wouldn’t get attacked unexpectedly. “Now... we get down to some unknowns... uh, a lot of things could’ve happened. Okay?” I told her softly, not liking how much her composure thinned when I stopped speaking in certainties. “You’re right. They could’ve gotten here and then left, they could’ve come before the fire started and then realized it was a dead end, hell, they may not have even made it all the way here at all. That’s also a possibility.”

__

Hyunjin was losing it. I’d stopped being helpful. “I-I don’t know where to go. I-I don’t know what to do anymore, I-I just, don’t, I-I don’t know, where would she go? If she did make it here, and then left, where would she go after that?” She buried her fingers into her hands, clutching at her skull like her own thoughts were driving her insane. “I’m so _stupid_ , I-I should’ve told her a more long term meeting spot if the first one didn’t work out, I-I’m an _idiot_ , I-I just wasn’t thinking and now it’s too late a-and I _don’t_ know what to _do_ , I--”

__

“-- _Shh_.” Jungeun held up her hand suddenly, shushing the rambling girl firmly. We all went dead silent. “I hear growling. Infected. We need to get off the streets, this isn’t safe.” Without asking for confirmation or trying to be gentle about it, she took action that she knew Hyunjin wouldn’t be able to. She reached down, grabbing her by her shoulder and forcibly tugging her to her feet. She was unsteady, totally off kilter.

__

“Where do we go, Jungeun?!” Vivi asked, readying her pistol. We all started to hear it too. There were growls, but it was hard to tell where they were coming from, which only made us more uneasy.

__

“Um, there’s gotta be some building in this damned town that isn’t burnt to the ground. Somewhere, anywhere. We all need to sleep. I don’t want any backtalk, either, we need to fucking _rest_.” I had no objection there. She started to rush off down the street, doing her best to keep quiet, but it was hard when half the road was shattered glass. We stuck to her like glue.

__

It seemed like there was nothing besides buildings so burnt you couldn’t so much as set foot on the porch without it crumbling away into ash. Jungeun was getting more frantic as those growls got louder, more numerous. Until finally, we spotted a place.

__

It looked like a city hall, or something along those lines. It was made of mainly stone and metal, not wood, and the fire hadn’t spread to it. It’d gotten onto the lawn in front, but it’d burnt itself out when it ran out of grass. Jungeun rushed forward, leading the way. She held the door open for the rest of us as she aimed her gun at the infected who I think were on our tail. Hyunjin hesitated, clutching her machete, wanting to help, but Jungeun just tugged the blade from her trembling hands and shoved her inside along with the rest of us. Just as I got past those doors, I heard the soldier bringing the blade down into flesh, and the growling stopped for a few moments before it was replaced by more.

__

She was trying to fight them all off. But she couldn’t, not by herself, and we shouldn’t fire a gun. Vivi tried to hold me back, tried to usher me further inside, but I wouldn’t let her. No, I ran to that door, grabbed Jungeun by the back of her collar, and pulled her inside along with us, slamming the door shut behind her. I ignored the wave of dizziness that washed over me from all the sudden motion and just held the door shut, soon helped by Jun and Jinsol. Jungeun nodded at me in slight thanks, her eyes wide. She was out of breath. She found a nearby coat hanger and used the machete to chop off one part of the rack, instead shoving it the wooden rod between the handles of the double doors so they wouldn’t budge.

__

“Jun. Come with me, let’s make sure one of these rooms is clear so we can sleep inside.” Jungeun told him firmly, still trying to catch her breath.

__

“A room upstairs would be better. It’d be harder for them to get to us.” Jun suggested, but didn’t assert.

__

Jungeun just nodded at him wordlessly, her eyes flitting to Vivi and I. “You two. Stay here, keep the rest safe. We’ll just be a minute.” They were already up the rather grand flight of stairs, and the rest of us were so quiet we could hear them walking on the floor above us. They seemed to settle on a room, and I listened closely, trying to see if I could hear any sounds of a struggle or another infected. There was nothing. The ones that’d chased us were at the door, but I’d gotten so used to the sound of them trying to get in that I barely even registered it anymore. It was just noise now.

__

They came back down. Jungeun stepped into view and gestured wordlessly for us to come up. We did. They’d cleared out a small room. It looked like it might’ve been used for some sort of town meetings, but it was hard to tell. It’d been sort of trashed. There had definitely been infected in here at some point, but they weren’t there now, and that was all that mattered. There was a radio in the corner that was buzzing quiet static, the ambience of it comforting somehow.

__

We all filtered in and wordlessly spread out. Vivi helped to block the entrance for good measure. The windows were open, we could still see the fire. Jinsol closed the curtains. It was dark, but the flames were bright and provided enough ambient light even through the barrier. It was eerie.

__

Nobody said anything. Not for a while. Jun walked over to that radio and started aimlessly fiddling with the dial. The stations were out. Every channel was just static. I hadn’t expected much else.

__

Hyunjin was still far from composed. She sat in one of the many chairs in the room and just stared at her hands as they trembled, strangely intrigued by them. I moved, crouching in front of her and clasping those hands again. I couldn’t steady them. Instead her shaking just spread to me from the contact.. “Hey... so, listen... I don’t know where your girlfriend--”

“--Heejin.” Hyunjin whispered to me softly, her voice nearly breaking when she uttered the name

__

“Huh?”

__

“Her name’s Heejin, a-and she’s the love of my life, Haseul.” Her tone was so heartfelt it made my eyes start to burn.

__

I nodded slowly, not sure how I was supposed to respond to that. Instead, I just swallowed the vague lump in my throat and kept talking. “I don’t know where Heejin would go either. I’ll never claim to know that...” She wouldn’t look at me anymore. I was losing her. “But... we just need to think. Like, what’re all the roads out from this place? Would they maybe go to another town? Would they be looking for supplies, and maybe we could think of what supplies she might need to look for? Or--”

__

An unfamiliar voice suddenly started to blare from the other side of the room, and everyone jumped simultaneously, startled. It was from the radio. Jun recoiled, confused, but froze and didn’t fiddle with the dial anymore for fear of losing the already semi-weak signal. We listened closely, nobody saying a single other word.

__

“This is a broadcast on the emergency frequency. We have a refuge on Geumodo island, off the southern coast. There is no infection, I repeat, there is no infection. There is shelter and safety. Our docks are open to survivors arriving by water. We will be sending a helicopter to nearby helipads along the coast, every day starting at 18:00. This message will repeat.”

__

It did. We all froze, silently listening to it another time. Then another time. And another. Yerim frantically opened her backpack and tugged out a small notepad, jotting down what it said with a purple pen.

__

“I-Is that real?” Yeojin was the first to speak up. She sounded so reluctant to believe it. I think partially, we all were. We were just scared to get our hopes up. Or at least, I was.

__

“It must be,” Yerim’s optimism kicked in right on cue, a refreshing, bright smile appearing on her face. “It’s repeating. That means whatever’s sending the signal is still sort of intact, right?” I hadn’t expected that coherent of a response from her, but I was grateful for it. It actually helped me start to believe it, somehow.

__

“She’s right,” Vivi added on, “Not a lot of things are intact anymore. I think it’s real.”

__

Hyunjin perked up out of nowhere, blinking rapidly. “I-I, what if she heard that?” I assumed she was referring to Heejin. She seemed to almost always be referring to Heejin. “What if that’s where she’s going, w-what if she’s headed there from here?!” I mean... it wasn’t totally implausible. Anyone who heard that message would be inclined to at the very least investigate it. Maybe Hyunjin was right, and not grasping at straws for once.

__

“Yeah. You’re right. Guys, I think that’s our best bet.” Jinsol added on. Jun moved to a nearby table and laid out his map.

__

“Guemodo... Guemo-- ah!” He pointed at something triumphantly. Yerim rushed to his side, her pen at the ready, and placed it into his hand. He smiled at her and circled a spot a bunch of times, adding emphatic and excessive arrows as well. “It’s... not close.”

__

“We can make it.” Yerim refuted his unintentional pessimism with her impossible brightness. “I know we can. We just have to. Where else are we gonna go?”  
  


Jungeun sighed, nodding weakly. “Fine. That’s where we’re headed, then. But right now? You all need to get some sleep. It’s not comfy in here, I know. But, just try to at least rest.”

__

That was the easiest order she’d ever given us.


	22. Rest Period 3 - An Eerily Lit Conference Room

**_Yerim_ **

__

The sound of the crackling fire and the static of the radio was sort of comforting, in a weird way. Everyone spread out around this pretty big room, some people already laying down, others seeming a bit too amped up to rest quite yet. I understood that. As for me, I was more than ready to sleep, but not before I made sure someone was okay. Well... I guess she wouldn’t quite be “okay,” but... better. At least better.

__

I looked over at Yeojin. She’d... she’d had a really rough day, and my heart ached for her. She was sitting in the corner, hugging her knees against herself and staring down at the hardwood floor. Her eyes had this strange glint to them, a tinge of devastation and sadness still making them uncharacteristically dark. It made my chest hurt. I wished I could take all of her pain away, she didn’t deserve it, any of it. She was so sweet and fun and happy, or she used to be, even when things were crazy like this. I didn’t see any of that anymore. None of it was there. She didn’t even have Jim at her side. I missed Jim. I never got to make him his badge.

__

I walked over and knelt down right in front of her. Her eyes moved to me slowly. They weren’t glossy, just ever so slightly raw. She hadn’t cried. I wasn’t sure what I’d do if she cried, I think my heart would just break into a million pieces. But if she needed to cry, of _course_ she could. Of _course_. And I’d hug her until she literally pried me off.

__

“Hey...” I spoke softly, my tone as gentle as I could possibly make it. Her face was partially hidden by her knees, and she didn’t say a word. She always had something to say, even when it might’ve been better for her to stay quiet. I hated to see her like this. “I... uh, what do you think about that broadcast?” If she didn’t want to talk about it, I didn’t want to bring up... what’d happened earlier. She might not be ready. Or she might’ve just been deliberately pushing it from her mind, just so she could get by. But we were safe here. If she was going to break down, now was the time.

__

She took a deep, audible breath. “I hope it’s real.” Was all she could manage out. That was ok. I could work with that.

__

I scooted closer to her, wanting nothing more than to hug her but keeping my distance. I’d been told I was too clingy. I didn’t want to crowd her. “I think it’s real.” She looked away from me. She didn’t believe me. “Really, really I do... and, let’s just think for a second, about that island. It’s an island, so it’d a beach, and who knows, maybe those things can’t swim! I bet it’s safe there. I bet you anything, Yeojin, that it’s safe there.” I couldn’t help but be drawn closer at how weak and small she looked, huddled in this corner.

__

She shook her head ever so slightly, the motion almost indiscernible, “What if we can’t get there...?” Her words were half muffled behind her own knees. I struggled to hear them.

__

Finally I couldn’t keep myself back anymore, and I reached closer, wrapping my arms around her. It was like she dissolved into my grasp, curling her fingers around my sash and pulling me so close she basically sat on my lap. Her face hid itself in the folds of my shirt. I only realized when I held her like this just how short she really was. “We’ll get there. Yeojin, we’ll get there, I promise you, I’ll make sure you get there. We’ve been through so much, we deserve to find somewhere safe. All of us do.” I rocked her back and forth slowly when I felt how hard she was shaking.

__

She didn’t address any of that. No, she had something else on her mind. “I... he’s gone. He’s gone, a-and he was supposed to... I... we were gonna find him. Haseul said we’d look for him, a-and...” She shook harder, from what I knew must’ve been a sob, and that was it. My heart literally broke.

__

I just kept rocking her back and forth, holding onto her tighter. “Shh, shh, shh...” I didn’t know what to say, what to tell her, how to comfort her. This was just... _awful_. Absolutely awful. All I could do was shut my own burning eyes and hold her against me. She sniffled, and I could feel her shaking her head over and over again. “Shh, you’re okay. I’m sorry, Yeojin. I’m so sorry this happened to you. _So_ sorry...” She let out another sob, the sound of it muffled. I looked around the room, wondering if I should try to get Haseul, or maybe Vivi, but when I even attempted to inch away from Yeojin her grip on me only tightened. Okay. I wouldn’t move if she didn’t want me to. I’d do whatever she needed.

__

“We’re um, we’re gonna get to the island. A safe place. If everyone heard this broadcast, maybe your mom heard it...? Right? You didn’t um... see her, did you?” I asked weaky, almost scared of her answer. She just shook her head. “I’ll be with you the whole time, Yeojin... I’m not going anywhere. Haseul’s here, she’s with you too. Right?” She didn’t respond, not in any way I could tell. She just kept crying and crying. “We won’t leave you. We’ll keep you safe.” I made sure to say that right in her ear.

__

“I-I... Yerim...” The way she said my name, the way her voice broke, it almost made me lose it. I blinked rapidly, staring up at the ceiling, trying to keep myself from breaking down. She didn’t need that, she needed me to be strong for her, and yeah it was hard, but Girl Scout Law Code #8 - a girl scout smiles under all difficulties. In all honesty, I definitely don’t think the Girl Scout Law Code was written with... whatever _this_ scenario was in mind. But I felt like it was applicable to everything.

__

“Shh, honey... shh. You should try to sleep, you--”

__

“--N-no, I-I can’t, I-I’ll have nightmares, I-I know I will,” Whatever she tried to say after that I just couldn’t understand, it was shrouded in sobs and sniffles.

__

“--I’ll wake you up if you do.” I told her softly, meaning every word.

__

“But you have to sleep.” She whimpered.

__

Her concern was sweet, and yeah, I was absolutely exhausted, but I felt like she needed it more than I did. She’d been through so much today, I was amazed she hadn’t just fallen over altogether on the way here. Haseul was included in that, not to mention all the blood she lost. “I... you do too.”

__

She sniffled again, tightened her grip on me and hiding her face further in my shirt. “I’ll try.” She pulled away suddenly, looking devastated and embarrassed. Her cheeks were lit with a slight blush, eyes raw. I leaned forward, resting my forehead against hers and reaching up to wipe the tears on her cheeks away with my thumbs. Her lip quivered further from the motion, composure thinning all over again.

__

“Hey, you’re okay...” My voice almost broke, but I steadied it by nothing short of a miracle. Sounded strong, just for her.

__

“Thank you.” She told me in a shaky, quiet whisper.

__

I smiled at her ever so slightly, “For what?”

__

She shrugged ever so slightly, more tears silently leaving her. I wiped each and every one away, wishing I knew how to make them stop altogether. “For... I don’t know. For putting up with me.”

__

I raised an eyebrow, “Putting up with...? No, sweetie, I don’t put up with you. I like being around you.” She shook her head, like she didn’t believe me. “Hey, you make me smile. You’ve made me laugh somehow, even during all this mess. You remind me that not everything’s bad. That there’s still room to be happy and joke around, and I need that.”

__

“B-But, you’re still smiling, all on your own... you don’t need me for that.” She stared at me with wide, glossy eyes.

__

“I’m smiling because I want to see you smile.” I reached down to clasp both of her hands, steadying them as best as I could when I myself was still shaking. “You should be happy, Yeojin... I just want to see you happy, that’s all...”

__

She smiled. It was small, barely even there, but it was enough for me. More than enough. I beamed at her and it was genuine, it was real. Knowing I’d managed to make her smile, even in the absolute worst of this, was all I wanted. A smile. 

__

**_Haseul_ **

__

It was so hard not to let my mind wander to dark, hopeless things now that we weren’t in mortal danger. My brain knew we were safe, and it was trying to convince me to process everything that’d happened that day, but I was scared. Scared to let myself address what’d happened to dad, to look back on how absolutely terrifying it had been when that glass had slit my wrist, and how close I’d come to bleeding out and dying right there. I needed to distract myself. The only thing that came to mind was to resort to a more default behavior, something I knew how to do: take care of other people. I looked over toward Jinsol, who stood by one of the windows, staring at the curtains as if she could see the street below. I slowly walked over, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder to snap her out of whatever thoughts she was lost in.

__

She flinched in surprise, turning on her heel to look at me with a dazzling smile, “Hey!”

__

“Um, hey. Would you mind sitting down? I don’t want to use up our bandages, so I can’t change yours for fresh ones, but I should probably look at that wound.” My tone shifted to the usual professional, detached but moderately comforting tone that I defaulted to when I was working with patients.

__

“Oh!” Jinsol nodded readily, moving to a nearby table and sitting there. I followed, sitting across from her, “Sure thing, doc.”

__

I rolled my eyes subtly, “I’m not a doctor. Too much school.”

__

She chuckled lightly, staying stiff and totally frozen as I reached forward and gently started to unwrap the bandage from around her head. “Yeah, that makes sense. You saved my life, though, so you’re a doctor in my eyes. Or, eye, I guess.”

__

I sighed at her attempts at humor, “You haven’t lost your eye yet, slow down there...” Once the bandage was gone, she blinked weakly as she adjusted to the light. It was disorienting to have one of your eyes covered for such a long time. 

__

Jinsol didn’t address that, instead sighing to herself and asking me with natural charm in her gentle voice, “What’s the damage?”

__

The stitches had held up. I was honestly still amazed I’d even managed to do them, but the longer I was with Jinsol and the more I got to know her, the more grateful I was that I hadn’t screwed it up. I was so glad she was with us. But I didn’t feel the need to say any of that, instead answering her initial question. “Not too bad. You have a bit of a scar, but...” I trailed off, realizing I probably shouldn’t make the comment I’d nearly made.

__

It wasn’t too subtle, though, and naturally she started to pry. “But what? Oh no, do I look like a Frankenstein?” Her brow crinkled at me in genuine worry, but it was totally unfounded. The scar wasn’t as mild as it could be - the cut had been deep - but if anything it just made her look weathered. Cool, almost.

__

I spoke up quickly, wanting to refute all her fears, “No. Don’t even joke, you’re stunning--” I stopped, not having even anticipated saying that. It’d just slipped out. I mean... it was the truth. Jinsol was _incredibly_ pretty, anyone could see that. I wasn’t gonna retract it, that’d be even more stilted than me stopping mid-sentence and staring at her like a deer in headlights like I had then.

__

To be fair, though, she was giving me a similar look. Her lips parted before a small, timid smile showed up on her face. “Stunning? What, me?” She asked that as if she’d never heard it before, which I doubted, but I wasn’t gonna call her out.

__

What was even the point anymore? Might as well boost her ego, the world had practically ended so I wasn’t really feeling the same stakes I normally would’ve. I matched her gaze instead of pretending to focus on her wound, “Yeah. I think you’re really beautiful.” My voice didn’t even waver. It’d shifted slightly away from my nurse-to-patient tone, getting more sentimental and genuine.

__

Her already weak smile softened even further, “I...” Her cheeks lit with a blush and she looked away from me, staring down at her hands that rested in her lap.

__

Maybe that’d come out of nowhere. I didn’t mean to catch her off guard or put her on the spot. I was just trying to be nice, so I wasn’t going to take it back. I meant it. I made my tone light as I tried to let her off the hook, “Sorry. I’m not good at taking compliments either...” I reached up with the bandages, starting to tie them back around the wound. It wasn’t quite ready to be exposed to the elements yet.

__

She cleared her throat subtly, her gaze moving back to me, and instead of immediately drifting away like before, she was staring at me. Not at my eyes, just sort of looking at my face, at my features. Okay, now it was my turn to blush as she started to stammer, “You’re... um...”

__

I cut her off politely, “You don’t have to compliment me back. I’ll live.” Jinsol didn’t finish whatever she’d started to say, which I was silently thankful for. I wasn’t sure what I’d do if she threw a compliment my way, if I was being totally honest. Again, her eyes didn’t drift, she was staring at me in that same way that made me almost unable to think at all. I finished putting her bandage back on, and before fully withdrawing, I gently pushed at the bottom of her chin, closing her previously dropped jaw and managing another warm smile. “You’re all set. It’s healing pretty well.”

__

“You’re like an angel.” She blurted out suddenly and not too gracefully, her words lacking the usual nonchalant, relatively charming cadence she tended to have.

__

My heart skipped a beat as I chuckled nervously, “Well, _that’s_ a bit of an exaggeration...”

“You look like one...” She muttered that so quietly I could hardly hear, but she was close enough and the room had enough dead air that I caught it. She took a deep, audible breath, seeming to fully steady herself as she added something on in a steadier voice, “And you saved me.”

__

Now that the topic had shifted slightly away from trading compliments, I could look into her eyes again. There was so much gratitude there, which was okay, it made sense for her to feel that, but I didn’t want it getting too out of hand. “You saved me too. Don’t forget.” 

__

She scoffed dismissively, “Just because I was there. I didn’t do a very good job...” She looked down at my exposed wrist, at the haphazard, makeshift stitch job that’d saved my life. I wasn’t sure why she kept trying to downplay the initiative she’d taken. Nobody else had come outside after I’d gone through that window, but she was right there at my side in mere moments. That deserved recognition, and I was more than ready to give it to her.

__

I reached forward, clasping one of her hands with both of mine. Her gaze lingered on those stitches. Although the whole experience had been absolutely terrifying for me, I had to let myself think about how it must’ve been incredibly stressful for her, too. But she’d pulled through. “You did a great job. Don’t let anyone tell you different either, okay?”

__

She smiled at me weakly, finally tearing her eyes away from my closed wound. “Well either way, I’m just glad I could help you. Start to repay my debt a little.” She used her free hand to pat the back of mine, shooting me a wink. 

__

I glared playfully at her, “Stop that. You don’t have any debt.”

__

She chuckled warmly, “That’s a bold claim. I have _plenty_ of student debt.”

__

I couldn’t help but laugh, amazed she was even able to do that. “Me too, don’t remind me. But as far as I’m concerned, we’re even. Okay?” As soon as the topic shifted back to something serious, she wouldn’t look at me anymore. She didn’t show me any signs that she accepted what I was saying, and I wasn’t gonna have that. I reached up, placing a gentle hand on her cheek, “Hey.” She finally looked back at me, and I made sure to add some apparently necessary emphasis to my words, “We’re _even_.”

__

“But--”

__

I pulled my hand back, pointing an accusatory finger mere centimeters from her face. “But _nothing_. No more of this debt shit from you, or I’ll actually poke out your eye.” I gently booped the tip of her nose, causing her to go cross-eyed for a brief moment. She was sort of a dope, but it was impossibly endearing.

She blinked at me in disbelief, not all having expected that threat, “You’re pretty scary when you want to be.”

__

I raised an eyebrow at her teasingly, “Oh? I thought I was an angel?” I watched her as she got to her feet, standing up and out of her chair.

__

She shrugged off my comment, having an effortless quip up her sleeve to toss back at me right away. “You wear many faces.” Although it was far from necessary, she extended a hand down to me. I took it, letting her pull me out of my seat.

__

“Whatever you say.” I tried to pull my hand away from her grasp, only to feel her tighten her grip suddenly.

__

“I... hey, I’ll shut up about my debt cuz I don’t want my eye stabbed out in my sleep with a hammer, but... just, I mean... thank you.” I felt her thumb brush along the back of my hand.

__

“You’re welcome...” My chest felt lighter from all this. “I’m glad you’re here.”

__

She laughed weakly, pulling on my hand to instead wrap her arms around me unexpectedly, “You’re a big sap.”

__

“You’re a big dope.” I countered back at her in an instant. I felt her chest vibrate from her continued laughter and it made me laugh too. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not glad you’re here.” She squeezed me slightly before drawing away, letting me have the last word.

__

**_Vivi_ **

__

My mind couldn’t stop flashing back to Hyunjin almost breaking down in the middle of that wrecked intersection. How she’d just... fallen. Like everything came crashing down on her too fast for her to even stand anymore. Reality must’ve hit her like a ton of bricks. I could seriously relate. After hearing that radio broadcast and watching the seemingly contagious hope spreading to everyone else, I just didn’t feel the same. I’d always been a realist. Haseul had always told me it was too much, sometimes. My inability to look on the bright side, to let myself hope for potentially implausible things, it was nearly crippling now. All I could do was take each second at a time. Without hoping for anything, you sort of just... tried to get through. 

__

I was a scientist. I thought about things objectively, with numbers and statistics. The odds of us getting out of here, the sheer odds of all of us making it to that island, alive and unharmed? They were _so_ fucking slim and it made me feel like I was losing my mind, surrounded by all this hope that I just couldn’t seem to feel. And I think Hyunjin may’ve been in the same boat. Although she got a small boost of life when she heard the broadcast, when she let herself start to cling to the possibility of her girlfriend being safe there, her eyes were the exact same as they’d been when she’d collapsed in the middle of that road.

__

She was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall and staring at nothing. Bags were becoming visible underneath her eyes from how absolutely exhausted she must’ve been. I was surprised she hadn’t passed out. She’d been running and fighting for days now, with so little sleep or food or water. I hadn’t talked much to Hyunjin. In truth, she sort of intimidated me. Every time I glanced at her I just pictured the way she’d knocked Sooyoung to the ground with one swift punch. It wasn’t like it wasn’t for good reason. Sooyoung had definitely been pushing the boundaries. Either way though, I was just worried I’d unintentionally say something disagreeable and find myself in a similar situation.

__

That didn’t stop me, though. She needed someone to talk to her, she was hanging on by a mere thread. Anyone could see that, you didn’t need to be a scientist. Haseul was changing Jinsol’s bandage. Normally I would’ve left it to her, she had more of a comforting presence than I did, but she was busy. Maybe it was time for me to take some initiative. Something was better than nothing, better than leaving Hyunjin alone to shake and worry all by herself in utter silence.

__

She barely even noticed when I moved to sit at her side, leaning against the wall with her. I fiddled nervously with my fingers in my lap, not quite knowing what to say. I knew this would happen. The silence that hung in the air was only slightly awkward, thankfully.

__

Finally, I cleared my throat and forced something past my lips. “I... how’re you doing?” That hadn’t come out too great. This was the first time I’d really talked to her much at all, besides when I pointed a gun at her head back in that pharmacy. Maybe I should apologize for that...? I’d literally shot at her. I’d almost forgotten.

__

Her only response was to shake her head. I guess she didn’t feel much like talking. That was okay, I guess? Or maybe it wasn’t. Maybe that was unhealthy. Maybe I should try to get her to talk, to vocalize her own feelings instead of bottling them all up. I understood keeping emotions to yourself, overall I was a pretty private person. The amount of people who I’d genuinely opened up to in my life I could count on one hand. Hyunjin didn’t really know any of us. Some people here were friends already, Jinsol had her brother now, Yeojin and I had Haseul, Yerim and Yeojin had gotten pretty close fast, but who did Hyunjin have...? So far, the only person she’d even felt was worth mentioning was her girlfriend. And her girlfriend wasn’t here. She must’ve felt so alone, so isolated.

__

Without letting myself think it over, I reached and clasped one of her hands. She didn’t pull away. Instead, she startled me by intertwining her fingers with mine and squeezing them tightly. Oh. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye. She was still staring straight ahead, so I did too. If she didn’t want to talk, I wasn’t sure how to make her. So I decided to just sit there, show her that she wasn’t alone, that at least one person was there for her. If she wanted to talk, she could. She was more than welcome to - I’d listen, and I did my best to nonverbally communicate that.

__

Apparently, it worked pretty well. After what must’ve been a solid five minutes at least, she spoke up softly, her voice quiet and halting. “If I think too long about anything, I’ll just start crying.” She sniffled subtly at the end of her statement. When I glanced at her again, she looked surprised at herself. She hadn’t even anticipated confessing that.

__

My heart went out to her. She’d been trying _so_ hard, this entire time. Sure, she may’ve seemed abrasive or standoffish or even combative in the past, but it was all coming from a place of such intense, unfiltered desperation to just find someone she loved. You couldn’t fault her. Not when her motives were so pure. And after Jinsol put her in her place, she shifted all of her behavior in an instant. Hyunjin was a good person. That much was evident to anyone. She wouldn’t have stuck her neck out for us all these times if she wasn’t. She was just so intensely _desperate,_ and sometimes she got tunnel-vision.

__

“You should cry.” I told her, squeezing her hand for good measure. Her grip on me tightened so hard it nearly hurt, but I did my best not to flinch. If it was helping her, she could hold onto me as tightly as she needed to. “It’s good to cry, Hyunjin.”

__

She shook her head. “I _hate_ crying.” She said that, but I could see her lip quivering in my peripheral vision. I decided against looking at her. I don’t think she wanted anyone to notice.

__

We had more in common than I ever would’ve initially thought. We dealt with things in pretty similar ways, I was just less vocal about it all. “Me too.” Her head tilted slightly toward me. “But it’s cathartic. Internalizing things just perpetuates them, lets them fester.” I was speaking from experience, and I think she knew that. Which would hopefully make the words more impactful.

__

She didn’t say anything else. No, but she instead edged closer to me and tilted her body in my direction. I looked at her for the first time and saw that she was about to lose it. She also looked so _scared_ of that. I released my grip on her hand, instead moving to wrap my arm around around her shoulders slowly - giving her ample time to reject the contact if it was too far. She didn’t. Instead she leaned into it, resting her head on my shoulder and hiding it partially in my shirt. I felt her start to shake, tears getting lost in the fabric. She was being quiet, not wanting to draw any attention her way. That was totally fine. Nobody else needed to see this.

__

I used my free hand to gently play with her hair, twirling it between my fingers and rubbing gentle circles along her back. “Let it out...” I whispered softly, taking the hint from her and being discrete. At my words her body jolted from her first real sob. “Shh...” I nursed my lower lip between my teeth tentatively. This was completely uncharted territory for me. But I felt like I needed to say something else, despite it going against my natural sense of realism. Something she needed to hear - and that mattered more than me adhering to my stupid moral code. “We’ll find her.” Her hands latched onto the side of my lab coat and balled it up into her fists as she nodded weakly. “We’ll find her...”

__

God, did I hope we found her.

__

**_Jinsol_ **

__

There was a general atmosphere of exhaustion and lingering stress hanging in the air that made my nerves ride just a bit too high for me to relax. People had more or less either broken off into pairs or just passed out. Stupid Jun had sat down once we’d gotten into this room and was now totally out cold with his head on a table. He’d be sore in the morning but hell, we’d all be, there was nowhere better to rest. Jungeun had mumbled something about “keeping watch” when we’d first entered the room, and she seemed to be sticking by that. She’d pulled a chair up to the door we’d entered through and still held that heavy-looking rifle in both of her hands. God, wasn’t she gonna run out of steam soon? I had a feeling she’d deny that if I asked her. She was stubborn as a bull.

__

I took a deep breath and walked toward her, sitting atop the barricade of a hefty wooden table we’d pushed against the door and right in her line of sight. She shot me a wink which I returned with a smile. Ever since we’d separated from the others back on that campus, she’d seemed... I dunno, off? Distracted, maybe. Like, she still got shit done, of course, but she was less talkative and more strictly business. She was clearly conflicted, separating from Jiwoo. But I also had a creeping suspicion that she wouldn’t talk about that if I tried to ask. So instead, I brought something up that I’d been meaning to for a while.

__

“Hey.” She arched an eyebrow at me, “I’m sick of feeling defenseless. You know what you’re doing, you’ve got it all under control. They trained you in the military, right?” I realized only after I’d asked the question that it was sorta stupid.

__

She definitely didn’t miss the chance to look at me like I was dumb. Which was fine, I’d let her. “Uhh yeah. They don’t hand these out to just anyone asking.” She gestured to her huge, daunting rifle. Her exposed forearms were toned from having to heft it around everywhere. I couldn’t help but notice, only to quickly tear my gaze away from gawking to instead go back to matching hers.

__

“Well, you could train me then. Right?”

__

She narrowed her eyes at me, shifting where she sat. “I was trained to fight, not to train.”

__

I rolled my eyes subtly at her semantics, “But you _were_ trained. So you can just show me what they showed you.”

She got quiet for a while, giving it some serious thought. I mean, it wasn’t like I was requesting something flippant, but I also wasn’t expecting a full military-scale crash course training program to be given to me in the middle of this room. I just wanted the basics, which I assumed was implied, but maybe it wasn’t since she was taking her sweet time considering whether or not she should comply. It was also far from a binding agreement.

__

Finally, she rolled her shoulders vaguely in a gesture that may’ve been a halfhearted shrug, “I guess.”

__

What was that even supposed to mean? Was she going to do it? She was still just sitting there, staring at me with a tinge of visible skepticism in her eyes. Maybe I had to sell the idea to her some more. “I want to be able to help, not just be a damsel in distress.”

She shrugged her rifle from her shoulders and propped it up against her chair, slowly getting to her feet and reaching her arms above her head in a stretch, “You’re pretty enough to be one.” She’d mumbled that under her breath, I almost didn’t even hear it.

__

I blinked at her dumbly, “What?” Had I actually heard that right? I couldn’t have.

__

She just shrugged indifferently. “Nothing.”

__

I raised an eyebrow at her, confused as to what that had been and doing my best to ignore the heat I felt rising in my cheeks. I just shook my head slightly, reiterating the question she still had yet to answer, “Will you help me or not?”

__

“Of course.” I felt the tightness in my chest alleviate slightly. I’d started to wonder if I was overstepping some sort of boundaries by asking her this, but in hindsight I think she was just being difficult to get on my nerves. Which I was used to, I mean, I had an older brother. “But not with the gun, obviously. We aren’t really in any position for that right now...” She took notice of the kitchen knife I loosely clasped. There was some blood on the blade still. I’d killed one with it, but barely even remembered - my adrenaline had been so high. The knife had gotten stuck in its flesh and bone. I’d almost lost my grip on it. If that happened in the wrong situation and I lost my only weapon? I might be done for. This knife was far from military grade, but I was sure the general teachings would be similar. She gently tapped it, “What about this?”

__

I nodded readily, “Yeah. Um... sorry I lost the one you gave me.”

__

She’d been reaching to take my knife but stopped still at my words, instead clasping firmly onto one of my wrists, forcing our eyes to meet again. “Are you seriously apologizing for getting blown up and almost losing your eye?”

__

I shook my head, “No, I’m apologizing for dropping your knife.”

__

She sighed lightly, fully taking my knife and turning it in her hands, getting a feel for the weight. “Don’t apologize for that. It was my fault.”

__

Her words caught me off guard. “What? How?”

__

“I dunno. It was just... it was my fault.” How could she be blaming herself if she literally “didn’t know” how she was to blame? God, she didn’t make any sense sometimes.

__

I tilted my head at her, but she wouldn’t look at me anymore. She took a step away and got into what I recognized was a more combat-ready stance. I watched her for a few moments before daring to speak up again, “You do that a lot.” She looked at me, confused, and I clarified. “Blame yourself for things.”

__

Her nose wrinkled adorably in contrived denial, “I don’t.”

__

If she kept going on like this she’d drive herself crazy. We all had our own things to deal with and worry about. She shouldn’t be adding even more to her shoulders, when there was already so much. “You’ve gotta stop. Not everything is your responsibility.”

__

“I...” For once she was speechless. That didn’t happen often.

__

I cut her some slack. Just this once. Either way, I knew she’d heard me, and there wasn’t much else I could do besides let her sit with my advice and mull it over on her own time. “I don’t need to scold you. Let’s just... c’mon, show me how to use the knife.”

__

“Right. Um...” She shifted her stance back to normal and instead looked me up and down. The knife was placed gently back into my hands, and she wrapped her fingers around mine so I’d clasp it firmly. “So, these things are gonna be coming _at_ you, not usually the other way around. Right?” I nodded, listening closely and watching as she shifted her stance again. I did my best to mimic it as she mimed motions as if there was still a knife in her hand. “You want to keep your body behind the knife. If you think about it, it’s tricky, because you’ve sort of got to have a defensive and an offensive stance all at once. You need to keep their teeth from getting to you, but get close enough to do damage.” That sounded much easier said than done. I watched her closely as she spoke, “With these things, they at least go down like people. So the best places to get them would be the head, the gut, or the chest. Hell, if you really need to, you could go for the legs. Knock it off balance...” She thrust her hand forward to each of the aforementioned places as she said each one, as if striking an imaginary foe. Her motions were quick, precise, and reflexive. She’d done them a lot. Me, on the other hand? I’d only just started stabbing things yesterday. “You try.”

__

Oh boy, I was starting to get performance anxiety. I did my best not to let that show through, doing a quick periphery glance around the room. Nobody was paying us even remote attention, so there was that at least. Taking a measured breath, I just did my best to do what I’d seen her do, but my motions felt way less fluid and rehearsed. It didn’t help that I could feel her eyes on me.

__

She hummed to herself softly, “Not too bad, not too bad.” My chest lightened from the affirmation, not having expected it. “But... your stance is sorta off.”

__

“How?” I asked maybe a bit too quickly, just wanting to correct myself.

__

Her brow furrowed as she examined me thoroughly, and I made sure not to move so she could correct me however she needed to. “You’re... you’re just off balance, you’d get knocked on your ass. Just, you have to like,” She was getting frustrated at her inability to explain properly. She’d been right earlier: she wasn’t a trainer at all, so this was probably harder than I could even assume it would’ve been. “Here, just...” She stepped closer and I stayed put.

__

She stood behind me, her chest flush against my back and her hands moving to my shoulders, then my forearms as she adjusted me manually. I could feel her steady breaths against my neck, her soft, slightly calloused fingers against my skin, and my heart started beating out of my chest all of the sudden. My body stiffened. We’d never been this close. She must’ve been able to feel me tense. More and more heat was flooding into my cheeks the longer the contact was held, and I held my own breath until she finally stepped ever so slightly away, letting out a sharp exhale to myself.

__

“There, that’s a bit better. You should feel more grounded now...” She glanced at my face now instead of my stance, and she seemed confused. “Why’re you so red?”

__

I didn’t answer her question. Instead I just couldn’t help but notice how cold I felt without her against me like that. I stepped closer, something intrinsic I couldn’t even identify gravitating me back against her. This time it was her turn to lose her breath, as her next inhale got caught in her throat. We were flush against each other, one of her hands still lingering on my forearm where she’d adjusted my shoddy stance, and her grip tightened suddenly. Without really thinking, I placed my hand on her side and tugged slightly, her back arching into the contact.

__

“U-Um...” She stammered weakly, breathless and flustered. Her cheeks were rosy now, eyes lidded. “I...” The air around us grew thick with... something. I just stared dead at her, my heart still beating at a quickened pace, so close to her face I could feel her breath on my lips. “What’re you...?” She didn’t finish whatever she’d started to ask, but it was enough to snap me out of whatever strange trance I’d fallen into.

__

I blinked twice and stepped back, only for her to step slightly forward at my withdrawal. She didn’t get as close as I just had, no, and she seemed to catch herself, causing her to stop short. The strange weight to the air dissipated when she cleared her throat weakly, avoiding eye contact as if it were toxic.

__

“Uh... thanks for the training session. I’m sorta tired, so, um, I think I’m gonna try and sleep.” I took another step back. It was hard for me to focus when she was close like this, hard for me to even form words really.

__

She nodded vigorously, “Yeah, um, yep, yeah - just, uh, go ahead, I-I’m keeping watch so, uh, I’ll... be here, yaknow, keeping watch, and...” I’d never seen her fumble with her words like this. It was weird, but also impossibly endearing.

__

“Right. You do that...” I muttered, coming more and more to my senses the longer she was a reasonable distance from me. I cautiously stepped around her, hearing the way that her breath subtly hitched when I deliberately brushed along her side. Damn, she was really wound up, huh?

__

I did my best not to think about it, settling in on the other side of the room and balling up the coat she’d given me to use as a makeshift pillow on the hardwood floor. I couldn’t help but tilt my head slightly to burrow my nose into the fabric, the scent of her strangely comforting.

__

**_Jungeun_ **

__

My eyes burned from exhaustion. It was hard for me to stay awake, but I was just so worried something would go wrong during the night, and I’d be too tired to notice or act appropriately. I thought back on what Jinsol had said: that I blamed myself too much and should stop taking responsibility for everything. I didn’t know what to think about that. I mean... I just wanted to protect these people, and I felt like I was the most equipped to do so. If something happened, wouldn’t it be because I wasn’t there? But... if I wasn’t so busy taking responsibility for other people, would I have let myself go along with Jiwoo...? Would I be with her right now, keeping her safe, in our own home town? God, I just... felt like I was making so many mistakes, so often. This pressure made me feel moments away from just cracking or breaking irreparably, but I didn’t know how to stop it or fix it.

__

“Hey.” A comforting, soft voice spoke from over my shoulder, thankfully snapping me from those thoughts. I flinched slightly, turning to look and see Haseul. I’d thought everyone had gone to sleep. The room was dead silent, there was even the occasional weak sound of a snore every now and then. Had she been awake this whole time?

__

“Hi. What’re you doing up?” I asked her in a light whisper, not wanting to wake any of the others by mistake. They needed their sleep, and I was sure that it hadn’t been easy for some of them to willfully doze off. I moved, pulling out a chair from the table at my side and turning it to face me.

__

She sat in it with a quiet, subdued sigh. “Can’t sleep.”

__

I nodded in understanding. Made sense. “Too much on your mind?” I asked her gently.

__

“Sort of. I’ve always had insomnia. Now’s no different...” She tilted her head at me quizzically, “What about you? Do you _have_ to keep watch?”

__

I shrugged. “If one of those things gets in, I want to be ready for it.”

__

Her elegant eyes narrowed at me. “You really think we won’t hear...? I don’t think any of us are gonna be sleeping too soundly, and the infected don’t tend to be quiet.”

__

She made a good point. It was pretty compelling and rational, but... my compulsion to protect these people was still tangible in my chest. I couldn’t ignore it. “I dunno. Why take the chance?” She just nodded. I don’t think she agreed with me, but she could at least get where I was coming from, and that was all I needed. She didn’t say anything else, and neither did I. I wasn’t sure what to say, but she wasn’t leaving, she wasn’t even looking away from me. Did she have something she wanted to talk about...? I’d talk to her if she wanted. But she was totally silent. Maybe she was hesitant to bring it up? There was only one thing I could think of that she’d be cautious to talk about. Her dad. “I’m... uh, I’m sorry about what happened earlier.” I made it vague, so she could shut me down if I was out of line.

__

Her eyes changed. Her face fell, expression becoming stoic and oddly blank. I think the rational part of her knew that she should probably talk about it, but the exhausted, drained, insomniac part of her just didn’t feel up to the task. Which was incredibly warranted.

__

“I didn’t expect it, more than anything else.” She told me in a detached, distant tone as she stared down at her hands. “If we’d gone looking for him, if I’d dragged Yeojin along with me on citywide manhunt, I would’ve prepared myself for the worst. That’s just sorta what you do. But we hadn’t been looking for him. I wasn’t thinking about him, I was thinking about helping Yerim. So.. when he just showed up, I... I didn’t know what to do. I froze. Like an idiot.”

__

I scooted my chair closer to her, resting my rifle on my lap, “Stop.” Her eyes finally moved to me at my assertive tone. They were glossy. “You aren’t an idiot. You’re the furthest thing from an idiot.”

__

She shrugged. “You can’t just freeze like that anymore. It’ll get you killed.”

__

I mean... that statement wasn’t inherently wrong, but she wasn’t at fault here. Not at all. “It’s okay. I’ll look out for you.”

__

She scoffed, “I don’t need you to look out for me, Junguen. What did I tell you earlier? Did you already forget?”

__

Of course I hadn’t forgotten the promise I’d made on that rooftop. It’d been one of the many things that remained on my mind constantly, fighting for dominance in my muddled brain. “No. I just... I can look out for you too.”

__

Haseul sighed, running her hand down her face. “This’ll just go in circles.” She was probably right. I wasn’t going to falter from that position. I’d keep my promise, but only if the stakes really came to that - if I could really only keep one of them safe instead of both. “What about you? How’re you doing? The whole Jiwoo thing earlier...” I looked away from her and she realized she’d struck a nerve, but didn’t back down. “She was going to your guys’ town, right?”

__

She was just trying to help, I knew that. But this was something I wasn’t sure if I could talk about either. “Listen, Jiwoo had fonder memories of that place than I did. So no, I wasn’t too eager to head back, not like her.” Haseul nodded along with my words. I could tell she was really listening. Maybe me talking about myself helped her get distracted from what she internally dealing with. I did my best to keep going. “I... it’s just my dad and I. We have a sort of... I dunno, not great relationship. And I’ll just leave it at that. Jiwoo has a great family, a ton of friends, a girlfriend...” I trailed off at the last word. I really wasn’t equipped to talk about this right now. Or ever.

__

“Oh... but you two are close, right?” She asked me cautiously. She was intuitive, she must’ve been able to tell that I was hesitant to talk about any of this. She was only loosely prying now.

__

So I shut it down. “I don’t really want to talk about this right now, please.”

__

“I’m sorry.” The apology was automatic and immediate, practically cutting my request off before it’d even fully left me.

__

“It’s fine, just... not right now.” She hadn’t done anything wrong. I’d asked her things that were hard to answer, and she’d asked me things that were hard to answer. Not that the question she’d asked was that difficult - of course Jiwoo and I were close. But... it was a bit more complicated than that, and I couldn’t get into it. I never had before, so I didn’t plan on starting now. She wasn’t my therapist.

__

Haseul yawned weakly, holding up one of her dainty hands to partially cover her mouth. I raised an eyebrow at her, “You sure you can’t sleep?” Her head shook weakly. “As a professional insomniac I would’ve thought you’d have come up with some sleeping strategies by now.”

__

She chuckled slightly to herself, a very slight blush rising to her cheeks. What was she so giggly about? I asked that question with my eyes alone, and she caught it. “I mean, I _do_ have one. But I can’t really uh, do it right now...” She seemed shy to be talking about this.

__

“And what’s that?” I had a slight suspicion, but that couldn’t actually be what she was implying. Right...? It was her turn to do something wordlessly, instead just shooting me a knowing look that she held for one, two, three seconds, until it finally clicked for me. _Oh_. So my suspicion hadn’t been wrong after all. A blush rose to my cheeks too, “ _Oh_. I mean, ha, I-I do that too. It definitely helps.” Was I seriously talking about this with Haseul right now? This was _not_ how I’d expected this conversation to go.

__

A brief silence spread. I think we were both experiencing some mild denial about the current topic, but it also provided a surprising levity to the air. We just started chuckling, small little giggles that devolved into quiet laughs we did our best to muffle with our hands so as not to wake the others. It was short lived, but nice. Refreshing. By the time it was over, a weight I didn’t even know was on my shoulders had been lifted. But soon, everything settled back in. Our faces didn’t totally fall, though. We both had lingering smiles.

__

Haseul sighed weakly, the first to speak after all that. “Yeah...”

__

I glanced around the room. When we’d first walked in, Jun and I had made sure to check a small closet right near the entrance. There wasn’t much in it at all, just some spare chairs and a few rolled up posters. In theory, she could get some privacy in there, if she really wanted to. Would it be weird for me to propose that, though? Like, super invasive or creepy? Honestly? At that point I just didn’t care anymore.

__

“I mean...” Her eyes moved back to me in an instant, a glint behind them I’d never seen there before. “Uh, there’s a closet right here. So, if you wanted, you could go in there, and...” I trailed off, not quite bold enough to say it outright, but it was implied. “I mean, as long as you keep quiet.” I shot her a wink, sort of just to be a brat, since I knew it’d make her squirm a little. She did, ever so slightly, but responded pretty damn fast in a way I hadn’t expected.

__

“I’m not loud. What, are you?” She arched one of her eyebrows at me, her tone lower than before. Oh?

__

“Huh? No.” I got defensive for some reason. Did she think I was loud?

__

“Why don’t you go in there and I’ll be the judge of that, then?” She asked me smoothly, pointing a long finger toward that closet door. I swallowed hard. Whoa.

__

I tried to laugh it off slightly, “Well okay, damn. I asked you first.”

__

Thankfully she laughed along with me. Okay, so was this just... a joke or something? Banter? It... didn’t really feel that way. It felt different, but I wasn’t complaining. Far from it. My eyes narrowed at her, and I slowly looked her up and down. Her small chuckles stopped immediately, and her expression changed. I dared to speak up, dared to imply something else. Maybe I could brush this off as exhaustion-addled rambling or something if it went wrong. “Or...” I made my tone as suggestive as possible, wondering if she’d need more prompting.

__

Apparently she did. “Or what?” Her tone was different too. Maybe she was catching on, but she didn’t want to make any assumptions in case she was wrong. She wasn’t.

__

“We could _both_ go in there.” I told her, willing myself to hold our gaze despite how intense it was getting. She didn’t look away either. No, she stared right at me, almost like she was looking through me. My heart was in my throat, and I was almost glad that my weighty rifle was on my lap because at this point it felt like it was keeping me from pouncing on her. She hadn’t confirmed it. I didn’t want to make any assumptions... but damn, was she looking at me in a way that was pretty hard to misconstrue.

__

“Oh?” She stood slowly out of her seat and I watched her every move. It felt like I was gonna burst into flames. “And what’ll we do in there?” She asked that, but she was already walking toward the door, backward, looking at me the whole way with eyes that were dark and _burning_.

__

“I have a few ideas...” I shrugged my rifle off my shoulder, leaving it in my chair as I got to my feet and followed her. She hovered at the door, leaning against it and seeming to wait for me to catch up. I did. And I got close. Really close. Her breaths were getting drawn out and audible, our eyes still locked firmly together, like it was a contest or something, but neither of us were faltering or backing down.

__

She was the first to edge closer, tilting her head at me smoothly. My breath hitched, but she didn’t close the space. Just made it smaller. I clenched my fists, resting them against the wall at her sides, needing to do that to physically keep myself from her. She teased her lower lip between white, dazzling teeth, raising an eyebrow at me. God I was losing my mind. Finally, she reached to that knob at her back, opened the closet door, grabbed me by the collar and pulled me in.

__

It took more self control than I knew I had to not slam that door behind us. Instead I shut it as gently as I could manage before turning back to her and shoving her against the nearest wall. I didn’t keep my hands back anymore, instead slinking them beneath the hem of her shirt and resting them at the small of her back. Her skin was like silk. It was dark in here, but that was fine. The only thing, and I mean the _only_ thing I cared about was this beautiful woman in front of me, looking at me in that _way_.

__

She kissed me first, and the whimper that left me caught me off guard. She seemed to like it, digging her nails into my sides and scratching against the rough fabric of my shirt. I pressed her harder against that wall and felt her gasp weakly from the aggression. I deepened the kiss despite her initiating it, urges I hadn’t even known I’d been bottling up fully taking over. I let them.

__

I brought my hand to the waistbands of her scrubs, and before I could potentially break the kiss just to confirm this one more time, she was already nodding vigorously. Her hands moved, instead cupping my jaw and pulling me impossibly closer. Her back arched away from that wall. I felt one of her legs lift, wrapping around my waist, and I swear I was getting lightheaded.

__

I pushed past the loose fabric and the layer beneath it, feeling her body tense in anticipation for what I was about to do. My fingers brushed past a bundle of nerves that I didn’t neglect, rubbing a brief circle against. She moaned into my mouth, the vibration of it sending waves of heat straight through me. I slipped my tongue past her lips her hands trailed down, gripping onto my shoulders as if to steady herself. I felt her hips start to move of their own volition, grinding them rhythmically against my hand, desperate for more contact, for _any_ contact, and the sentiment was more than mutual. Her natural intuition was thankfully universal, and she somehow inferred that without me needing to say a single word. In what seemed like the next second, she’d unzipped my fly, pushed her soft hand past my underwear and thrust two fingers inside me.

__

Our kiss broke from the moan I let out, unable to keep it back as it tore from my throat. Her motions froze for a moment and my lidded eyes flitted back to her and her bordering on predatorial expression. “I thought you said you weren’t loud?” She whispered to me huskily.

__

I took a deep, much needed breath, pressing her further against the wall and leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses along her neck. She didn’t make any more snarky comments. When I stole another glance at her I saw that she was using her free hand to cover her mouth. I smiled smugly against her skin, daring to sink my teeth slightly into her toned, smooth shoulder. My mind was still fried, the sensation of her fingers in me nearly making my knees buckle. She was _good_ at this. My head was swimming.

__

Moving my thumb to focus on her small bundle of nerves, I trailed my hand down and slid two fingers inside her easily. She was uh, already pretty worked up. She still held that hand against her mouth, muffling whimpers and moans and curses so vulgar I never would’ve been able to picture her saying them before this moment. She still somehow managed to keep her own fingers moving at a steady, unwavering pace, which I was incredibly appreciative of. I gripped onto her thigh, one of her legs still slung around me, and held it in place when I felt her nearly losing her balance.

__

She stopped covering her mouth suddenly, instead moving to grab firmly onto the back of my neck and pull me close, the motion so rough and aggressive it took my breath away. Her lips ghosted along the curve of my ear as she whispered to me in a demanding, low tone, “Harder.”

__

Whoa. My eyes widened slightly from the sudden command and I was silently glad she couldn’t see, but I listened to what she told me. I made all my motions rougher, removing the courteous gentility I’d applied to everything since this was my first time with her. I added another finger, pressing her against the wall, and she let out an airy moan partially muffled by hiding her face in my shoulder. We’d turned this closet into what was essentially a furnace, a tangible heat emanating from the both of us and lingering in the air.

__

I was losing it, but she was too. My mind was foggy, my hips having started to form their own, natural rhythm of thrusting against the movement of her fingers. She was um, doing a great job, so I didn’t need to whisper any commands into her ear. Instead, I edged closer and muttered weakly, “I-I’m close.” Her only response was a shaky nod. Her hand that was still on the back of my neck crept upward, burying itself into the tresses of my hair and tugging slightly, as if experimentally. I whimpered weakly from the minor pain, but we both knew it wasn’t in a bad way. Her eyes were literally like fire, melting me into nothing when I looked into them again.

__

She finished first and it was fast, sudden, intense. For the first time, the steady motion of her own fingers in me stopped still. She instead curled them, her grip on my hair tightening into a white knuckled fist as she muffled what might’ve been a scream into the nape of my neck. I helped her ride it out, her hips jolting against my hand sporadically for a few lingering moments before she seemed to go limp. The leg she’d slung around my waist clumsily returned to the floor and she stood more upright, struggling to catch her breath.

__

But she knew I wasn’t done yet, and she hadn’t forgotten. The next second she’d flipped our positions, and I felt my back pressed unforgivingly against the wall. I gasped from the sudden movement, only for my lips to be captured again by her needy, impossibly soft ones. I pulled my fingers from her, wrapping my arms around her neck for some sort of support as she resumed her previous thrusting with a new relentless, earth-shattering pace just to push me over the edge she knew I’d come so close to. My vision was practically blurring, so I instead shut my eyes tightly and just let myself reach that peak.

__

It only took a few more seconds before her mind-numbing kiss prevented me from crying out. I was shaking and gasping for air and I swear I almost collapsed, but she was there to keep me standing. I clung onto her tightly, my heart racing, my breath not quite having returned to me yet. It felt like the room was spinning. She was far from composed either, still coming down from it herself.

__

Once we were both finished, we just stood there, entangled with each other still and trying to recover. My grip on her shifted, instead simply wrapping her in my arms as I leaned against that wall, trying to think actual coherent thoughts again instead of horny gibberish. She partially collapsed against me, resting her head on my shoulder after she’d removed her fingers.

__

After a few very necessary minutes of recuperation from... _that_ , I tilted my head to whisper to her softly, ‘Think you can get some sleep now?”

__

She chuckled softly against me, the sound making a small smile come to my face too. “I’m gonna sleep like a fucking _rock_.” She was the first to draw away, straightening out her scrubs. She reached up to me and helped me smooth the back of my hair down, the two of us undergoing a sort of wordless ritual to make sure neither of us looked recently fucked when we went back out there. 

__

I took a long, measured breath, coming back to my senses more completely once I’d done so. “Glad I could help.” I shot her a wink which she just rolled her eyes at.

__

“Don’t get cocky, please.” She jibed at me, nudging me with her elbow as she moved to open the door again.

__

“Well I mean, you did finish first.” I muttered under my breath, hoping she wouldn’t hear, but she definitely had. All that comment earned me was an ungrateful glare that I couldn’t help but grin at.

__

“It’s just been a while, god, shut up.” Her cheeks turned a deep red. I chuckled even more from her unwarranted embarrassment.

__

“It definitely didn’t _seem_ like it’s been a while...” I made sure to compliment her and give her a much needed ego boost, which she graciously accepted.

__

“Stop...” She blushed, gripping the handle but not opening it yet. “I think you left a mark on my shoulder.”

__

“Whoops.” I shrugged. What could I say? “Got a bit carried away.” She rolled her eyes. “Better me than an infected, though.” She groaned, not at all amused with the attempt at humor as she opened that door and tugged me back outside by my hand. 


	23. Hopes

_Meanwhile, in a car in the countryside..._

__

**_Heejin_ **

* * *

_“Get up, loser.” Hyunjin muttered at me with her soft, gentle tone, shaking me by the shoulder. I shot up, looking around frantically. I was in my bed. In my dorm. She was wearing a big baggy sweater with my college logo, the one I’d given her on our second date. She had bed head. What...?_   
  


_“Hyunjin?? Oh my god, I--” My breaths were getting caught in my chest. I didn’t even want to believe this was real, that she was with me, but it felt real. God, could this just_ _please_ _be real?_

__

_“Hey, hey, whoa...” She sat down with me on the side of the bed, resting her hand against mine with her soft, skin. “What’s the matter? Bad dream?”_

__

_Tears filled my eyes and stained my cheeks. She surged closer in an instant, wrapping me in her arms, and I clung to her like my life depended on it, like she’d dissipate into thin air if I didn’t have this grip and maintain it. I let myself cry, let myself be vulnerable, because she always made me feel so safe and accepted and appreciated. Her hands rubbed circles along my back._

__

_“Such a bad dream, Hyun, I-I, there were these monsters everywhere, and we got separated, and I-I couldn’t find you but I was trying_ _so_ _hard, I-I was so scared, I thought you were dead, Hyunjin, I--”_

__

_“Shh, shh, it’s okay, baby. It was just a nightmare. Just some stupid nightmare...” Her voice right in my ear was almost enough to make me steady, but I was still so_ **_terrified_ ** _._

__

_“I-It felt so real._ _So_ _real.” I scooted closer against her and she tugged my small frame gently into her lap._

__

_“Well it wasn’t. I’m here.” She squeezed me tightly. “I’d never leave you, Heejin. Damn, if only I could beat that nightmare’s ass for making you cry.”_

__

_I chuckled tearfully, so happy just to be near her. She gently kissed the top of my head and I wrenched my already vice grip on her, pulling her impossibly closer. “I love you so much, please don’t go anywhere,_ _please_ _.”_

__

_I knew she was blushing. She always blushed when I said that. But she also always said it back, despite how red her cheeks got. “I love you too, dummy. You don’t have to be scared...” She trailed off strangely._

__

_Her grip on me that felt real, that felt like something, suddenly started to change. It got weaker. Looser. The comforting air around me, the fluffy, refreshing lightness, it all started to evaporate. My heartbeat quickened, my breath leaving me in short shallow bursts as everything started to fade away._

__

_“No, no no no, wait wait_ _wait_ _, please,” I tried to hold onto her, to make her real again somehow, but it wasn’t working. Everything got fuzzy and distorted, my grip on what I knew actually wasn’t there finally leaving me altogether as I was shaken to consciousness._

* * *

“Heejin, c’mon, get up honey.” Nayoung’s voice pulled me out of my dream and I sat bolt upright, panting, gripping onto the front of her shirt as if it was still Hyunjin’s. She stared at me oddly, into my panicked, wide eyes, “Hey, shh. You were having a bad dream. You kept tossing and turning.”

__

I blinked frantically, just trying to process where I was. If this was actually real. Deep down, I knew. I knew that this reality, no matter how impossibly harsh and awful and painful it was, was the one I was stuck in.

__

We were in the back seat of the car. At some point during all my sobbing the night before, I must’ve passed out. I didn’t know where Doyeon or Hoseok were, but they weren’t inside with us. I glanced over Nayoung’s shoulder out the open car door. We were pulled over on the side of an abandoned road. It looked like it was the early hours of the morning. The sun wasn’t quite out, but the sky was brightening and the stars were gone.

__

I sniffled weakly, my eyes burning with remnants of tears. “I-I... it wasn’t a bad dream. _This_ is a bad dream.”

__

She sighed deeply at my bleak comment, but didn’t refute it. Instead she just gently clasped my wrists, pulling them away from her shirt and instead intertwining her fingers with mine. I stared at her, at the dark circles beneath her eyes, at her visible fatigue and the small speck of blood splattered on her neck that could’ve been from anything.

__

Finally, she nodded slowly, moving to place a gentle kiss on my forehead. My chest lightened ever so slightly from the unexpected gesture. “It is. But at least we’re here, right?” I felt so impossibly empty. That’s the only word I can think to use to describe it: empty. I weakly shook my head at what she said, and she did her best to force a nod in contrast. “At least _you’re_ here.” Her voice lowered, got quiet and soft as if she didn’t want anyone to overhear. I ran my thumb wordlessly along the back of her hand.

__

I heard vague sounds of two voices talking from outside somewhere. “Where are we?” I needed to try to ground myself to reality as best as I could.

__

She pulled back slightly, “Good question, but I don’t really know. I just drove as far as I could from town and pulled over when I got too tired.”

__

“Did you sleep?” I asked her weakly. I’d made her promise to.

__

“Yeah. As much as I could.” She withdrew fully, moving to the open door and starting to get out. “You fell asleep before the rest of us. I think you needed it.”

__

“We all do.” I commented back to her, following her as she exited. My foot didn’t feel as bad. Maybe all that time spent officially off my feet was what I’d needed after all. It was far from healed, obviously, but it’d gotten a much needed rest. Once I was outside in the chilled, early morning air, I could finally hear the muffled bickering that was going on.

__

Doyeon and Hoseok were a bit further down the road, trying doors on other abandoned cars and looking around. We were on the remnants of what used to be a highway. Nayoung sighed, running her palm down her face. Despite having seemingly just gotten up, she was already exhausted. “They’ve been at it for a while.”

__

“They already don’t get along?” Our group dynamic was... strained. Ever so slightly. Hoseok may’ve been a big cause of that strain, but it wasn’t like we were gonna cut him loose. He’d saved me more than once.

__

“Doyeon and I are pretty similar. Let’s just leave it at that.” That was enough of an answer for me. We started walking over toward the two, I wanted to eavesdrop on the conversation if I could. Maybe try to be a mediator, which was a role I’d naturally fallen into despite not at all asking for it.

__

“Why _wouldn’t_ there be food at a supermarket?!” Doyeon snapped at him, rooting through an SUV’s trunk.

__

“Because that’s where _everyone_ would’ve gone to look for food. Obviously. It’s either going to be cleaned out, or full of infected. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to walk right into a horde of them like that.” Hoseok countered her, the natural snark constantly present in his voice always making it easier to argue with him than agree with him.

__

Doyeon scoffed, “Well where the fuck else are we gonna look for food?? There’s like four cars on this road, and they’re all empty. I sort of know where we are, and there’s a supermarket nearby, so--”

__

I spoke up, needing to raise my voice louder than it wanted to be to actually get either of their attention. “Doyeon, can you think of any other places maybe?”

__

Her eyes moved to me and she shot me a slight smile. “Oh, good morning!” We hadn’t really gotten much of a chance to talk, that is, not outside of some seriously intense situations. I didn’t have it in me to smile back at her, despite sort of wanting to. It was a sweet gesture.

__

Her face fell in an instant when Hoseok spoke up again, “ _Thank_ you, Heejin, clearly you’re thinking straight.”

__

She sneered, slamming the trunk shut and walking toward him, “She wasn’t siding with you, shithead, she’s just trying to get other options!” She was right, but I decided against telling her that. Instead, I just waited for her to answer my question. “And no, not really. There’s a rest stop along this road, further down the highway instead of back the way we came. I don’t think it’d have much of anything, or it if did it’d just be shitty snacks. Nothing substantial.”

__

Hoseok glared at her, “Snacks have preservatives. They’ll last a while.”

__

“But they aren’t _healthy_ , dumbass. If we could get our hands on some canned food, that’d be best.” Nayoung interjected.

__

I sighed, trying to consider all this, but my brain was still addled with sleep and uncharacteristic pessimism. After what’d happened the night before, where I’d essentially had to give up my last potential link to Hyunjin? More than anything I felt like curling up in a ball in the middle of this cracked pavement and just laying there, not moving or saying anything to anyone ever again. That wasn’t really a feasible option, though. At least I had enough sense to know that.

__

“Canned food would be best, of course, but we can’t really be thinking in ‘best case scenarios’ anymore. We sort of have to take what we can get.” I pointed out harshly.

__

Nayoung shook her head, “Fine. Then where are we going?”

__

“Hoseok’s right.” I muttered weakly, a sentence that felt weird when I actually said it aloud. Nayoung and Doyeon looked at me like I was crazy. I knew I could convince Nayoung if I really had to, though, so I turned my attention to her. “I just don’t want to get swarmed. And yeah, cans would be great and all that, but how long are we thinking we’ll need this food for?”

__

Hoseok didn’t seem to agree with that reasoning, despite me trying to take his side. “Look, based on what we saw in that town back there?” Nayoung and Doyeon’s heads dipped lower at the mentioning of it. “I’m gonna go ahead and assume things aren’t gonna be clearing themselves up any time soon.” His words were sobering. They added an extra layer of tension and density to the air, right when I’d assumed things couldn’t get any more uncomfortable.

__

Yeah, of course this wasn’t going to clear up like magic. Of course it had spread past the city, of course it could potentially have spread across the whole damn country. Of course people were more likely to be dead than alive unless you were staring at them with your own eyes, and of course all of us were more at risk of dying from what may’ve seemed like small, insignificant decisions than we ever would’ve thought. Of course. But damn, did it hurt to be reminded of all that.

__

Nayoung just sighed deeply to herself, “Whatever. Fuck it, let’s just go then...” She moved back to the car and hopped into the driver’s seat. We all followed her closely.

__

“I’ll point the way.” Hoseok muttered under his breath, as if just wanting a justification for why he was sitting in front.

__

Doyeon rolled her eyes as she helped me into the back seat (unnecessary but the thoughtfulness of the gesture wasn’t lost on me), “Thanks, genius.”

__

“My pleasure.” He scoffed dismissively at her snarky comment.

__

“No fighting in the car.” I spoke up from the back seat, crossing my arms as Nayoung pulled off down the eerily empty road in the direction Hoseok indicated. Doyeon looked at me with a raised eyebrow at the sudden order, seeming confused by it, but probably seeming more confused that she and Hoseok actually obeyed it and stopped their endless bickering. Hell, I was confused too, but I wasn’t complaining.

__

While Hoseok kept quietly guiding Nayoung, Doyeon decided to speak to me now that there wasn’t much else for us to do. “Hey... so, how um, how do you know Nayoung?” She asked gently, her voice low. Nayoung’s eyes glanced at us in the rearview mirror at the mentioning of her name, but she quickly focused back on the road.

__

I honestly didn’t feel like talking. I didn’t feel like doing much of anything. But Doyeon was nice, she was just trying to get to know me. The least I could do was answer her. “She saved me.” I felt like that was enough of an answer.

__

Apparently though, it wasn’t. “Oh... like, you didn’t know her before? Sorry - haven’t seen her in a while. I’m a bit out of the loop.”

__

I shook my head, asking a question of my own. “How do you know her? High school right?” 

__

She nodded, “Yep. Most of high school we were inseparable, but I damn near wanted to knock her teeth out sometimes.” Nayoung scoffed weakly from that comment and Doyeon cocked an eyebrow at her. “What? Don’t act like you didn’t shove me on my ass once back in the cafeteria.” Nayoung didn’t refute that, instead simply shaking her head. The two both had lingering smiles from reliving these clearly multifaceted memories, but the nostalgia didn’t last long as reality slowly closed back in like a vice. Doyeon’s face grew blank as she muttered weakly, “It’s fine, I still love you.”

__

Hoseok spoke up suddenly, “Hey, wait. Take this exit, it’s there. Behind that truck.” He pointed to our left and Nayoung listened, pulling the car into the nearly empty lot of a rest stop. There were only a few cars still here, and most had doors left eerily ajar or blood splattered on the windows. Not too promising.

__

We all got out wordlessly and gently shut our doors. Nayoung clutched her fire axe with a comforting familiarity and led the way as we rounded a corner toward the entrance. Hoseok was at her heels and Doyeon took up the back, having latched onto her bloodied baseball bat with white knuckles. I only had my pistol, but I didn’t want to shoot it because of the noise. I flicked the safety on and shifted my grip away from the trigger, instead opting to hold it in a way more useful for slamming the butt of it into something’s head. I didn’t feel like almost dying again, not if I had the choice.

__

The door was automatic. It opened, and we slowly stepped inside in our single-file line. The shelves weren’t cleared out thankfully. I guess a rest stop wasn’t the first place people tended to flock to in an apocalypse, Hoseok was right about that too, but I didn’t tell him so. He surged forward on instinct, whispering something harshly to us, “In and out fast. Hurry.” He scooped up a discarded plastic bag and started to load it with anything he could get his hands on.

__

Nayoung grabbed his wrist, stopping him quickly, “Shh!” The crinkling of the various bags was noisy, and it had made the rest of us tense. Regret and apology visibly flashed behind Hoseok’s eyes along with the realization of what he’d just done. Now he was scared to move even a single muscle.

__

We’d been heard, though. There was a clamor from the side of the store, and a flurry of familiarly uneven steps. Shit. Doyeon stood in front of me and Nayoung tried to be tactile, running around the corner of a shelf and instead trying to get the jump on the oncoming infected from behind. Hoseok seemed torn, not sure what to do, guilt still visible on his face from his fumble.

__

There were four. They were dressed in workers uniforms. Doyeon brought her bat against the first one’s temple without hesitation and it was sent sprawling haphazardly into another, the two of them falling to the floor, disoriented. But Doyeon hadn’t been prepared for the third and it charged at her, its hands already outstretched and clasping. It grabbed onto one of her forearms and in her panic from the contact she flailed, her grip on the bat faltering. Nayoung wedged her axe deep into the skull of the infected nearest to her, and noticed the struggle, but was suddenly pounced upon by one of the others who’d recently regained its footing. Shit.

__

On sheer instinct alone I lunged forward, clumsily scooping up the bat and lifting it into my hands. I slammed it into the infected that was attacking Doyeon, bringing it into its back, and it let out a guttural noise, finally letting the cheerleader go. Thank God. Doyeon took several steps away, having lost her breath from her panic. Knowing I just needed these things _dead_ , I brought the bat back and swung it into the monster’s head again, and again, and _again_ , until it didn’t even have a face anymore. The other one that’d fallen down had recuperated and charged at me, but I saw it that time. I tried to swing the bat before it got too close, but it wasn’t strong enough of a blow, just bouncing off its shoulder. I braced myself for a rough impact, but it never happened. Nayoung was there, axe in hand, and brought the blade so deep into its neck she nearly severed its head. It crumpled to the floor, adding to the growing pool of blood now tainting where we all stood.

__

A pair of arms suddenly wrapped around me from behind and I flinched, my survival instincts still causing my adrenaline to pump through me like blood. It took me an entire two seconds to even realize that it was Doyeon, her voice speaking weakly in my ear. “You saved me.”

__

I hadn’t thought much of it, and I honestly still didn’t. “U-Um, it’s fine... we look out for each other now.” Her response was to squeeze me tighter, her unexpectedly toned arms almost making the air leave my lungs.

__

“Shut up. You saved me. That means something.” She insisted adamantly, squeezing me again for good measure before withdrawing.

__

For some reason I felt a blush coming to my cheeks. “Trust me, you’re gonna be stuck saving me a hundred times over.” I informed her. It was true, my life had been saved a lot more than I’d saved anyone else’s. It... felt good to contribute. I just wished my foot wasn’t aching so badly from all of that unanticipated sudden movement.

__

“Anyone get bit?” Hoseok spoke up. He’d still barely moved from his spot. He clutched his baton now, but that was all. To be fair, all of that had happened really fast.

__

“No.” Nayoung breathed out in relief. First good news I’d heard in days.

__

We spread out through the building after a mumbled order from Nayoung to do so. It was clear now. If there were any more of those things inside they would’ve heard all that commotion, so I felt reasonably safe separating from the others. I found a plastic bag and loaded it with whatever I thought I’d be able to stomach, my mind wandering and my heart still racing from all of that chaos. I was only reminded again just how quickly things could go downhill now, and how I almost always never felt prepared for it. My reflexes had never been great, and this was no exception.

__

I could vaguely hear Doyeon and Nayoung chatting on the other side of the store, the sound of their muffled conversation oddly comforting to hear. It was weird to just have... I dunno, ambience? Ambience that wasn’t distant sirens or flames crackling or cars crashing or screaming. It made things feel normal, familiar.

__

Suddenly all that relieving ambience was blown straight out of the water from a sudden burst of static. It made me jump, the sound absolutely blaring. I flinched, almost covering my ears on instinct, but forcing my feet to carry me toward the sound. It was coming from the back. Hoseok had gone that way. I spotted him, he was behind a counter, fiddling with a radio.

__

“Sorry, sorry!” He called out, fiddling with various knobs and fumbling as he tried to find the volume.

__

“Turn that shit down, Jesus! You’re blowing out my damn eardrums!” Doyeon yelled at him, the goading seeming to be the final step that he needed to finally get it together and find the right way to quiet the noise. I let out a breath of relief once my ears weren’t being assaulted anymore. “There, was that so hard?” She muttered passive aggressively, putting her hands on her hips. I couldn’t help but chuckle slightly from the comment and she shot me a wink. 

__

“You’re not gonna get a signal.” Nayoung told him hollowly, leaning against the counter he was behind. She was probably right. I wasn’t sure what he was doing. His only response was a shrug.

__

Doyeon sighed to herself, looking toward me again with a tilted head, “Find anything good?”

__

“Uh... good is a strong word.” It was just snacks. Nothing to write home about. Nothing particularly healthy either. My pessimism gnawed at me, making me wonder if we could get by eating nothing but chips and candy for the potential days or weeks this nightmare would go on for.

The sudden sound of an unfamiliar voice coming from the radio snapped all of us to a new level of awareness and even Hoseok flinched. Part of him must’ve believed Nayoung. None of us expected this. “...broadcast on the emergency frequency. We have a refuge on Geumodo island, off the southern coast.”

__

Nayoung leaned frantically over the counter, “Turn that up!”

__

He was already doing it before she even finished her quick command. We all stood completely still and dead silent as we listened. “There is no infection, I repeat, there is no infection. There is shelter and safety. Our docks are open to survivors arriving by water. We will be sending a helicopter to nearby helipads along the coast, every day starting at 18:00. This message will repeat.”

__

It repeated. The signal wasn’t weakening. It was still there. For a few moments I’d wondered if I’d just imagined that. If my brain needed something, so it just conjured up that fake radio signal to latch onto, but the more I heard it, the more it replayed without a single one of us uttering a single word, the further the reality started to sink in.

__

Hoseok was the first to speak, surprisingly, and his tone was far from what I’d expected it to be. “This... is suspicious.” All eyes moved to him. Was he serious?

__

“We need to go there.” Nayoung spoke up firmly, an adamant insistence evident in her words.

__

Doyeon seconded the statement in an instant, “We have no other leads, c’mon.”

__

Hoseok’s eyes moved to me. As if he was expecting me to support him, like I had earlier in the road. This wasn’t one of those times. I couldn’t disagree with him more. The girls were right, we needed to go. We needed to investigate it. We had nothing else to do besides wander from destination to destination and pray for some sort of miracle. We couldn’t rely on that, I just didn’t trust it anymore. “We should go.”

__

Hoseok’s face fell, and despite being the minority here, he wasn’t backing down. “Why should we trust it?”

__

Honestly? I was getting fed up with his skepticism. There was a time and place for it, and that wasn’t now. We were all running on fumes. I felt moments away from irreparably breaking down from all the worries eating away at me, the fear and the panic and the stress. I _needed_ this. I _needed_ some sort of hope, something to cling to when it felt like there was nothing left. “Why shouldn’t we? Should we just be hopeless about everything now? Always assume the worst?”

  
He sneered slightly at the forced lightness I attempted to project onto my tone despite feeling nothing but darkness. “Keeps you from getting disappointed.” He said that like it was self-explanatory and obvious. I mean, I guessed he wasn’t totally wrong.

__

I narrowed my eyes at him “Keeps you from hoping for _anything_.”

A silence spread. I guess it was rare for me to be so directly combative. I was usually the mediator who was on the sidelines, but not this time.

__

Doyeon stepped forward, “She’s right.” Nayoung nodded along with her.

__

I shifted my tone, trying to sound less hostile and instead tried to rationalize with him. There must be _something_ in him that wanted to hope. “Maybe it is okay. Imagine if things were _okay_ again.”

__

His face fell, and he stared at me deeply, suspicion still tinting his eyes as if trying to see through me. Why was he assuming I had ulterior motives? Why would I be lying about this? Finally, after firmly holding his gaze for minutes on end, something changed. “I... don’t want to get my hopes up.”

At least he was being honest and real for once. That wasn’t too frequent. “Hope is all we have now.”

__

He still had that subtle, dismissive sneer. “That’s not much.”

__

“It’ll have to do.” We weren’t just going to ignore this. There was no way. This was all we had now, and we had to live with it. This was a nightmare and we were finally given a potential way out, how on earth could we ignore it? That didn’t make any sense. I didn’t care if the chances were slim. I didn’t care if the signal might be outdated, or even if that island was overrun now, we needed to see for ourselves.

__

“Well we don’t even know where that island is.” Nayoung spoke up, injecting some more reality into the situation. She wasn’t wrong, and she wasn’t trying to change the plan, if anything she was trying to solidify it. “We need to find a map or something.”

__

“We should look through the cars,” Doyeon suggested. “My dad always used to have a map in his glove compartment.” That was a good point. Or at least it was a slightly better lead than having no leads at all.

__

“Let’s go look.” Hoseok surprisingly offered, vaulting over the counter and heading toward the door already. Wow. That was surprisingly cooperative. I think deep down he wanted to cling to hope too, but was just scared of expectations being dashed again. I understood that. You could only take so much.


	24. Window Pain

_Meanwhile, in an eerily lit, quiet bar..._

**_Hyejoo_ **

I was woken up by a gentle hand weakly shaking my shoulder. My lingering panic taking hold of me, I shot upright, instinctively scrambling for any sort of weapon. Soft fingers caught my wrist to stop the motion, and I realized through my sleepy franticness that it was just Chae. It took a few seconds for me to process where we were and who I was with - that all of the past few days hadn’t just been a nightmare. Every time I woke up now I wished it’d be somewhere else, somewhere safe and familiar, but it never happened.

“Hey, whoa, easy there...” Chae muttered to me in her low, soft voice that I’d really started to like listening to.

I let out a much needed breath, some of the tension in my stiff body dissipating with her next to me. The timid, cautious smile on her face was comforting, and I did my best to return it. “Sorry... ahhh, I thought all this was a dream for a sec.”

She nodded at me in understanding, sighing to herself, “Yeah, it’s still pretty hard to believe it’s real. This whole thing has been a near nightmare.”

“A ‘near’ nightmare? That’s an understatement.” I slung my legs over the side of the booth I’d slept on. Jiwoo and Sooyoung were already up, puttering around the bar and gathering up our things. Right. We were gonna have to get moving again.

“Well, it’s not all bad.” Chae mumbled sheepishly. My eyes moved back to her, noting how rosy her cheeks were getting.

“Are you kidding...?” I wasn’t sure how to interpret what she’d said.

She explained herself in a rushed stammer, “I-I mean, of course I hate this, and it’s awful, a-and I really wish we could all just be safe again, but...” Whatever she’d planned on saying she seemed to decide against, trailing off shyly as she ducked her head.

I scooted closer to her, dreadfully curious, “But what?”

With a pensive, deep breath, she spoke again without looking at me, “If all of this hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have gotten to meet you...”

Those same butterflies surged so strongly in my chest I thought they may make my heart burst. That... was _such_ an impossibly sincere sentiment, something I never would’ve expected her to say right now. I wasn’t even really sure how to respond. In the few days that I’d known her, Chaewon had been nicer to me than practically anyone in my life, and I felt a stronger connection to her than I ever had with a person. A small part of me almost wanted to say all that, to confess everything - even the lingering deeper feelings that I subconsciously knew I was developing for her - but I didn’t.

Instead, I just tightly clasped both of her hands. The gesture was finally enough to get her to meet my eyes again right as I managed to speak. “You’re definitely the best part of... all of this.” I wondered if even that alluded to too many things, but I’d already said it.

She pulled me closer unexpectedly, wrapping me in a warm embrace and giving me an extra squeeze for good measure. “I’m glad I met you. I’m _so_ so lucky to have met you.” She told me softly, like she was revealing some sort of secret. I guess it was kinda a secret. I wondered where all this sudden sentimentality was coming from, but I definitely wasn’t complaining. The air around us had developed this light, soft fuzziness that put me more at ease than I’d been in days. My heart was beating twice the speed.

I wrapped my arms around her middle, “I think I’m the lucky one, I mean you’ve saved my life like three times now...” She was gonna have to be the one to pull away because I definitely didn’t have it in me to let her go.

“You saved me, too.” She squeezed me again, “We look out for each other.”

“Hey, come on you guys. We have to get moving.” A brisk voice snapped both of us out of our own little world as Chae quickly withdrew from me, a blush still on her cheeks. I was amazed I hadn’t turned beet red yet. From the sheer bluntness of the command, I thought it’d been Sooyoung, but surprisingly it was Jiwoo. Her guitar was slung over her shoulder, and she clasped a knife tightly in her hand that she must’ve gotten from the kitchen.

“Right, sorry.” Chae got to her feet, fiddling nervously with the ends of her sleeves. I sort of expected Jiwoo to tell Chae not to apologize, but she said nothing, just walking off toward the counter where I could still hear Sooyoung fumbling.

I stood too, moving to walk to the counter and start whatever new hellish mess this day would inevitably turn into. Chae linked her arm with mine as I passed and stuck to my side, causing my heart to skip a beat as per usual. Sooyoung was lining up a bunch of alcohol bottles on the counter. Was she planning on starting this day with a drinking session...? She seemed to be carefully selecting which bottles she was choosing. Jiwoo leaned against a nearby wall, staring blankly down at the floor and not speaking or even looking at anyone.

“What’re you doing?” Chae finally dared to ask Sooyoung, who didn’t flinch from the question and kept carrying out her search. She briefly rooted around beneath the counter and tugged out a couple rags, cursing under her breath when she could only find two.

“Honestly I don’t really know,” She reached to a bottle of vodka and undid its top, wringing the rag into a thin shape and slipping it down the neck of the bottle. “Never made a molotov before.”

I blinked twice, wondering if I’d heard that right. “Molotovs?!”

Chae raised an eyebrow, “What’s a molotov?”

Sooyoung finally glanced at the two of us for a few seconds, also letting her gaze linger on Jiwoo. The girl was absolutely unaffected by our conversation, dead silent. Sooyoung didn’t like it and neither did I, but she had every right to go quiet after what she’d gone through the day before. “It’s sort of like a bomb. If I light this cloth and then throw it, it’ll blow up in flames. Or, I mean, it’s supposed to. Dunno if I’m even doing this right.”

My anxiety and paranoia surfaced tangibly in my chest, “Um, maybe we shouldn’t try to use faulty molotovs? I feel like that could go really really wrong for everyone involved?”

Sooyoung shrugged, “If there’s a crowd of infected, you just need to light one of them up and it’ll spread to the others. It’ll be pretty damn effective.”

“I-I guess, but if you don’t know what you’re doing then--”

“--Can we please go?” Jiwoo spoke up suddenly, interrupting what we’d been discussing. We all turned to look at her. The closer I stared, the more I noticed how raw and red her eyes were. “I don’t want to be here anymore.”

Sooyoung was already loading her two makeshift molotovs into a bag she slung over her shoulder and walking up to Jiwoo quickly. I took a deep breath, feeling rooted to the spot from my fear. We were going back out there, right into the thick of it. And I _really_ didn’t feel ready, but when did I ever?

**_Chaewon_ **

The streets were all still eerily empty. Although I liked how quaint this town felt, I didn’t like not knowing where I was. I mean, directing us on where to go in the city had been my only real contribution to the group before, so now I had nothing to offer. It was so conflicting: I wanted nothing more than to help or at least pull my own weight, but it felt like I just... couldn’t. I still hadn’t gotten over the way I’d screwed up the day before and almost got Hyejoo killed. I couldn’t afford to do something like that again. Even though I already felt like I was being as careful as I could possibly be, I somehow needed to be even _careful-er_.

Hyejoo had taken Butterfly out of her pocket and was idly brushing her thumb along its smooth surface. It made me smile slightly. She held it delicately, just like how I’d hold my rocks. Our arms hadn’t unlinked since we’d left that bar, and I tightened my grip on her.

Sooyoung was leading the way with Jiwoo lagging behind us. I’d look back at her every now and then but she seemed totally lost in her own head, which made plenty of sense. Jeez, if I was in her position I’d have no idea how I’d be reacting. Probably even worse than she was. One thing was nagging at me though, as we walked on these abandoned roads, presumably heading toward the outskirts of town.

  
“Where are we going?” My voice was small. Sooyoung had definitely heard the question though, because her head tilted to look at us over her shoulder for a second before bringing her pointed gaze straight ahead.

“I don’t know.” She stated bluntly.

Huh? That wasn’t what I’d expected her answer to be. Sooyoung always seemed so in control and on top of things, so I’d just naturally assumed that she had things handled. Maybe that was dumb of me. I mean, she was just a person. Was she feeling just as lost as I was? Did she have no idea where we were, and if so, why wasn’t Jiwoo leading the way?

I raised an eyebrow, not liking the idea of wandering aimlessly. “Then maybe we should stop and figure it out...?” It was a polite suggestion. I didn’t want to push anyone, especially not when we all seemed sufficiently stressed.

“We have to keep moving.” Sooyoung told me plainly, almost like a reflex.

I mean, she wasn’t wrong, but that wasn’t what I was concerned about. “Yeah, but where are we moving to?”

“I don’t _know._ ” She snapped at me slightly. Whoa, oops. I was right about the stressed thing and I’d struck a nerve I hadn’t known was there. Hell, Sooyoung was probably the most stressed out of all of us. She knew we were all relying on her to some degree. I didn’t want to imagine what it was like to constantly have that pressure.

My lips parted, wondering if I should apologize, but I really just wanted an answer to my question. Before I could speak, though, Jiwoo piped up from the back, getting all of our attention in an instant. “Everyone just _stop_. Okay? Stop. Jesus.” She’d stopped dead in her tracks and moved to a nearby bench on the side of the street, sitting there with her head in her hands. We all stopped too, moving to form a sort of semi-circle around her. Whether Sooyoung wanted to or not, we had to talk about this now.

Hyejoo spoke timidly, fiddling nervously with the ends of her recently chopped hair, “I just want us to have a plan. I’d feel better if we had that.” I nodded readily in agreement.

Sooyoung sighed in exasperation, speaking with animated hand gestures - something she’d never really done before. It almost seemed like she was coming unhinged. “Well I have no idea where we should go now. I’ve never been this far out in the boonies, so I don’t know where we are, or what’s nearby, or anything like that. I don’t know everything.”

“I never said you--”

“--I know where we are.” Jiwoo cut off Hyejoo’s small voice easily. “Obviously. I grew up around here.” She muttered bitterly, her tone still bleak and unfamiliar. I wished she’d smile. I really liked her smile, and I missed seeing it.

Sooyoung took a deep breath, hopefully to calm herself down. “Is there anywhere you think could be safe?” Her voice totally changed when she was speaking to Jiwoo. It got gentle and patient.

Jiwoo scoffed, “Pretty sure nowhere is safe anymore.” A silence spread from her words. Nobody said anything. What were we supposed to say to that...? The fact that it was coming from Jiwoo of all people only made it worse to hear. She sounded so hopeless. Hyejoo clung to me tighter suddenly, slipping Butterfly back into her pocket. Jiwoo looked around at all of our sullen faces for a second, then changed her answer. “There’s another town over just a bit further down the main road.”

Another town? Would that be safe, though? This town wasn’t safe. But Jiwoo was sort of right, it didn’t seem like anywhere was. “Should we go there...?” I asked, uncertain.

“Do you have any better ideas?” Jiwoo asked with a slight sting to her voice as she pushed herself to her feet. I wasn’t sure if the question was genuine or not, but she wasn’t moving to go anywhere or lead us away. I think she actually wanted an answer.

**_Sooyoung_ **

I knew I wasn’t helping to ease the tension, but I really couldn’t act any different. For some reason it felt like everything was crashing back down on me - all the pressure and responsibility these girls put on me to know what to do and where to go. I didn’t have those answers. My chest was so tight it was hard to even breathe, and I didn’t like it. I’d never felt like that before, this intensely responsible for other people’s lives. Fuck, I just didn’t want anyone to get hurt. Apparently that was a lot to ask for now.

“The... no, your idea sounds good...” Chaewon sheepishly spoke up, watching as Jiwoo got to her feet from the confirmation. She started walking down the road, and we just followed. Like always.

She seemed so weird this morning. I was starting to regret how I’d left things last night. Maybe I should’ve stayed up with her, tried to talk more about how she was feeling, see if she had any tears left in her. But actually in hindsight, we might not’ve done a whole lot of talking if we stayed up any longer...

I blinked to myself, snapping those thoughts out of my head. Obviously I hadn’t forgotten about the kiss. Obviously. How could I have? It definitely wasn’t something that’d just slip your mind. I stuck close behind her as we walked through this creepy shell of a town, not wanting her to go ahead by herself. She was... off. You could just tell, it was sort of impossible not to. And yeah, it wasn’t like anyone could blame her after the absolute shitshow that was yesterday happened, but it was sort of concerning. I just wasn’t sure what she’d wind up doing when she was like this, because I couldn’t predict her anymore. She’d already borderline snapped at Chaewon and Hyejoo, which was incredibly unlike her. If she got hurt, I didn’t know what I’d do.

The air was dense and heavy, which wasn’t unusual, but Jiwoo’s standoffishness seemed to make Chae and Hyejoo assume they couldn’t talk either. They were still joined at the hip, yeah, but they weren’t having their usual muffled conversation as background ambience anymore. I think we were all thrown off because of Jiwoo. I just wished she’d smile again. 

Jiwoo turned corners and got further away from the town’s center as we went. She definitely knew where she was going, but that wasn’t my concern. My concern was what the fuck we would do or where the fuck we would go after this town wound up being a dead end too. I wouldn’t say it, because I knew it wouldn’t help anything, but I knew this place wasn’t gonna be in any better shape than anywhere else. This shit had clearly spread in a really short amount of time, and we had no real reason to believe it hadn’t gotten everywhere besides just vague hope. I wasn’t gonna rely on that. Despite the bleak nature of understanding the reality of the situation, I also knew was that I’d keep all of these girls safe for as long as I could.

The whole group all collectively flinched at the sudden sound of church bells. I ducked on instinct for some reason, aiming my revolver and holding my breath. There was a big church tower right on the corner in front of us. It must’ve run on a timer or something, I don’t know, I didn’t give a shit about churches. It was loud, though. Not blaring, but loud enough to be a concern. Shit. Would that lead those fuckers out of the community center? We weren’t nearly far enough away for that to be safe.

“Shit.” I muttered, reaching forward to grab onto the back of Jiwoo’s jacket. “We have to _go_.”

She looked over her shoulder at me, clearly dismayed, “Fuck.” She started scanning our surroundings, fast, trying to assess the situation and think of the best route. It was stressful, I wasn’t gonna deny that or blame her for taking a little bit to plan, but we were really running low on time.

Chaewon suddenly piped up from the back, “W-Wait, guys, we’re like, closer to the community center than we were earlier--”

“--Huh??” My eyes widened. Chae definitely had a better sense of direction than I did. I thought we’d gotten further away. Fuck. This was even worse than I thought.

“Jiwoo, _where?_ ” I asked her frantically, the slow, monotone tolling of that bell starting to echo ominously inside my head. I couldn’t even tell if I was imagining the approaching sound of growling. It didn’t seem like my imagination. Shit shit _shit_.

Jiwoo clasped my hand with an abrupt death grip, practically crushing my bones, and before I knew it she was pulling me down the road. I hadn’t imagined the growling. They’d gotten here fast, probably out the back door. If enough of them had pressed against that, it would’ve opened. They’d just needed a sound from outside loud enough to rile them up. Damn that fucking bell. Some actually ran inside the church, but the stragglers of the crowd must’ve spotted us because they were on our asses now. I’d tried to be careful and keep us safe, but how the fuck was I supposed to know that bell would go off? It seemed like even Jiwoo was startled by it, and she’d lived here her whole life.

“It’s okay, we can outrun them!!” I shouted to Chae and Hyejoo while we rushed past the church, not wanting them to panic and only make things worse. In hindsight, that was fucking dumb to say. It was like I was begging for something to prove me wrong.

Seeming to realize that they couldn’t get to the bell, a group of five or six of them burst out of another exit from the church and spotted us instantly. Jiwoo did her best to try and reroute us, to pick up the pace and get out of their reach, and although she was successful, I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard Chae scream.

One of the things had gotten distracted from Jiwoo and I’s quick escape and focused right on her. It had its fingers dug into her shoulder and it had pulled her so hard she’d nearly lost her footing and fallen. It’s teeth were inches from her skin, and she didn’t have a weapon, and Hyejoo was pulling on her other arm to try and get her out of its grip but she wasn’t strong enough.

Without even taking a second to think, I raised my revolver and pulled the trigger.

The bullet hit right between its eyes. Its body went limp, crumpling to the road, and Chae was free. But that gunshot had been way louder than the bell.

The other infected spewed out of the church in an instant and were moments from swarming us. Jiwoo and I were separated from Chae and Hyejoo by just a few feet, really, but that small space was more than enough for the infected to fill. I tried desperately to reach out and get a grip on one of them, to pull them close so I could keep them _safe_ , but Jiwoo pulled me away. It was smart. I almost had my arm bitten from extending it so blindly like that.

“ _Run!!_ ” I shouted at the two, hoping it would be enough to spur them into action, and it was. Without another moment’s hesitation they rushed in the opposite direction, but they were still being chased. Jiwoo frantically pulled me, running the way she’d been going before. Now I wasn’t at all sure of my statement of being able to outrun them. I was worried for us, of course I was - my heart was beating out of my fucking chest - but more than anything I was worried about those two on their own without any sort of weapon.

Jiwoo was smart. The only real way to lose these things was to trying and confuse them by taking weird routes - they’d just chase you forever if you were on a straight road. Still leading me by her tight grip on my hand, she ducked into the nearest building. I haphazardly tried to kick the door shut behind me without much success, but it slowed a few of them down. She pulled me out a back exit, through an alley, into another building, up a flight of stairs, down a fire escape and up another. She definitely knew this place like the back of her hand, just like Chae had known the city. At some point during all this hectic sprinting, she thrust the knife I’d given her back into my hands. I think she knew that I couldn’t use the revolver again because of the sound, but she wanted me armed. Smart, again. Even though she was rattled and unlike herself, she still had a good head on her shoulders.

She led us into what I think was an apartment building and into a long, tall stairway. By then we’d almost lost them all from the weird back routes we’d so hurriedly taken - from what I could hear there were only two still on our tail. When Jiwoo suddenly released me from her grip to try and open a door, I spun on my heel to look at them, knife ready. The first one slammed into me but I was ready, holding it back as best as I could by its shoulder and shoving that knife right up and under its jaw. It went limp on the blade and I tossed its corpse to the floor. It’d taken the knife with it, though, having been lodged too far into its flesh. Kitchen knives weren’t made for stabbing people, surprisingly. The other one was bigger and heavier. When he rushed me it was like a ton of bricks, and I got knocked off balance on the stairs we still stood on. I fell hard, one of the steps unforgivingly slamming against my spine. The next second it was on me, and I held it back, but my knife had clattered audibly down the stairs somewhere in the struggle. Jiwoo was still having trouble with the door, but now she looked on in horror. 

“Jiwoo!! _Hit it with something!!_ ” I called out to her desperately. I couldn’t reach to my revolver, if I moved either of my hands it’d close the space and I’d be done for. It was too strong, stronger than all the others I’d dealt with. I couldn’t keep it back, it was gonna sink its teeth right into my jaw. There was no time.

Jiwoo suddenly ripped her guitar from its bag, gripped it by the neck, and slammed it straight against the side of the infected’s head like a baseball bat. The wood splintered apart, shards of it embedded themselves in the monster’s flesh. It faltered, stumbling off me and crying out in pain. I scrambled to my feet as quickly as I could and rushed down the steps, spotting my knife on a landing we’d passed. I’d already grabbed it and spun on my heel in the matter of a second, but Jiwoo had beaten me to the punch - slamming the guitar against the back of the infected’s head again, and again, and _again_ , until there was a gash in its skull and her guitar was in pieces.

The air in the narrow hallway we were in was dense from our heavy, uneven breathing. That was it. We’d lost them. But...

Jiwoo released her death grip on the neck of the remains of her guitar and it clattered to the floor with a dull thud. The look on her face and just... the _devastation_ there, it made my heart wrench. That guitar was more than just a guitar. Anyone could’ve known that. Jiwoo had clung to it since all of this shit hit the fan. She must’ve had it for years. Hell, she probably had it when this town was still actually a town. Now it was totally destroyed. But she’d saved me. She’d totally destroyed the one thing she had left of this place, all just to save me.

“Jiwoo...” I walked back up the steps to reach her. She stared down at the bodies, at the fragments of her guitar’s wood among pools of blood. Her eyes were wide and her whole body was shaking violently. More than anything I wanted to hug her, to tape that guitar back together piece by piece until I could give it back to her, but we just didn’t have time for any of that. “Thank you.” I told her softly, sweetly, wanting her to believe me and to know that I understood how hard that must’ve been.

She sniffled, blinking rapidly and stiffening her posture. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t even look at me, just turned on her heel and headed back to the door she’d been trying to open earlier. It was locked still. I frowned at her lack of a response, even more worried about her than before, but left it alone. I stepped up, gently brushing her aside since clearly she wasn’t making any headway. She let me, still not saying a word. I jammed my knife into the crack in the door and struggled against the flimsy lock for a few lingering seconds before busting it open.

It was just some apartment. Jiwoo surged inside immediately, heading straight into a nearby kitchen and grabbing her own knife. Smart, even after what’d just happened back there. Weirdly, I was proud of her for being so strong. It’d only been a few days, but she was a far cry from the girl whose music lesson I’d interrupted.

I took a long, deep breath, still a bit shaken from everything that’d just happened. Brushes with death sort of did that to you. “We need to get to the girls,” I told her hurriedly. I didn’t see any exits in this apartment yet, nor did I when I walked a bit through its few rooms, and we were on the third floor. Direction was totally left to her, I had no fucking idea where we were here.

She was also still just trying to steady herself. Her hands were trembling violently, which made me a bit more uneasy about her holding the knife. “I-I led us sort of in the direction I saw them run. Or I tried to.” She told me slowly, “I-I just sort of came up here because there was a dead end. I thought there was a fire escape in this unit but I guess not.” It seemed like she was ready to beat herself up for assuming that wrong, and I was more than prepared to shut her down if she tried.

  
I nodded along with her words. It’d sort of seemed like she’d had a vague destination in mind when she was leading me. I stood at her side and gently placed my hand at the small of her back, “Good, that was smart.”

She raised an eyebrow at what I said, but didn’t question it. “Fuck, I’m trying to think of where they would’ve gone--” She bounced up and down on her heels, probably feeling just as antsy as me. We were both potently aware that every second we were standing up here in this apartment, the girls were somewhere else fighting for their lives.

Suddenly, we heard an audible, messy commotion from down on the street. I frantically scrambled toward the nearest window and threw it open, leaning out of it and looking around. Jiwoo was at my side in an instant.

Hyejoo and Chaewon were in the road, running away from a huge crowd of them. It looked like they’d drawn the majority of that earlier swarm, and we’d gotten lucky with just a fraction of it. Shit. They seemed fine, from what I could tell, not too outwardly wounded, so I let myself take the slightest inhale to ease the tightness in my chest.

Jiwoo instantly tugged on my arm, trying to move me away from the window, but I stood my ground. She was clearly confused, asking me in frustration, “How’re we gonna help from all the way up here?!!” 

I had an idea. Shrugging the bag I still had on my shoulder into my hands, I grabbed one of the molotovs I’d made earlier. Jiwoo looked at me with wide eyes, instantly understanding what I planned. I leaned back out the window, raising my voice as loud as it could go, “ _HYEJOO! CHAEWON! LOOK OUT!_ ” The two paused for a split second and looked up at me, eyes wide with terror. Hyejoo was the one to spot the bottle in my hand and realize what I was about to do. She quickly latched onto Chae and pulled her to the side of the street so they’d be more out of range.

_Please tell me I did this right._ I prayed silently to myself as I flicked the lighter in my pocket open and ignited the molotov’s rag. It caught fire, and I dropped the bottle right into the center of that crowd.

I did it right.

The bottle shattered, bursting into flames that spread rapidly all over the infected. They let out agonized shrieks, batting aimlessly at their blazing skin and writhing on the pavement. It didn’t hit all of them, but it did a shit ton of damage. Hyejoo and Chae just stared at the destruction in terrified awe, and fuck was I glad I’d decided to make those molotovs on a whim.

“ _MEET US IN THE BACK OF THIS BUILDING!!”_ Jiwoo shouted down to them, already pulling me from the window. We couldn’t afford to stall. We’d gotten incredibly lucky. A significant part of me hadn’t even expected that thing to work.

  
I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. Jiwoo had spouted off that meeting place as if it’d be easy to get there, but a hell of a lot could go wrong really fucking fast. I didn’t trust it. God, I just wanted them to be _okay_.   
  


_**Hyejoo** _

Chaewon tugged me into the apartment building because the alley we tried to cut through was blocked halfway by a big metal fence. That’d essentially been our luck ever since those infected burst out of that church: first we got separated, then we kept hitting dead end after dead end. I was stunned we hadn’t gotten cornered and torn apart. It was taking absolutely every fiber of my being to not break down into full blown panic. I felt like I couldn’t breathe even the slightest bit. Sooyoung wasn’t with us. She kept us safe. Jiwoo wasn’t with us. She’d been leading the way. We were on our own, and we didn’t have anything to defend ourselves.

Chae was pulling me along, realizing that I was close to losing it and knowing how disastrous that’d be if it happened right now. I didn’t want to put us in further danger, and I was trying so hard not to do that.

Sooyoung had really saved us back there. More than anything she gave us a chance to take some much needed breaths - we’d been sprinting nonstop and I was running out of steam. Despite her efforts, we were far from safe.

Chae didn’t know where she was going, and I didn’t expect her to. She rushed into what looked like some sort of lounge area on the first floor and pushed me in ahead of her, spinning on her heel to try and slam the double doors behind us. I did my best to help, my breathing uneven and my hands shaking so violently I almost couldn’t get a grip on the handle. We didn’t have much distance between us and them, and a fast one burst inside - clumsily pushing us away from the doors in the process. By sheer instinct alone, I surged closer after it’d already made its way in and I slammed those doors firmly shut.

I’d been distracted though. Sure, it’d prevent the dozens of others from joining us in here, but when I turned back around, the one that got in was running straight for Chae.

There was a fireplace built into the wall at my side. A few logs and a fireplace poker were next to it, forgotten, and I rushed forward, scooping the poker into my hands. It was sharp. I swallowed hard, not caring how hard I was shaking, and in the next second I was on it. I pushed against the poker with all of my weight, sending it straight through the infected’s torso just as its fingers scratched roughly against the skin of Chae’s neck. The pointy metal rod totally impaled it, and it spasmed once, twice, before finally going limp. I released my iron grip on the poker, watching the body crumple to the floor.

Chae reached up to her neck, trying to catch her breath. Its jagged nails had scraped her skin pretty bad, and I don’t think I’d ever felt more protective over someone or more angry at something in my life. I kicked the fallen body with a small grunt, anger flooding me. We could still hear the other monsters struggling against the door we’d closed, but I didn’t care about that.

“A-Are you okay?” I surged closer, gently clasping her hand and daring to brush my fingers near the new shallow gouges on her otherwise unblemished skin. “That looks like i-it hurts, does it hurt? We should get you something, you--”

“I’m fine,” Chae breathed out, her arms suddenly wrapping around my middle and pulling me flush against her. I hugged her back automatically, “Thanks to you, I’m fine.” I could feel how fast her heart was beating when we were that close. I wondered if she could feel the way mine was fluttering.

I tightened my grip on her, “That was too close.” I muttered to her softly, so relieved to just have her with me and okay. In one piece.

She drew back so she could stare right into my eyes, hers glistening ever so slightly from absolute fear. I was sure mine were just as glossy. “We’re both still here. Right?” I nodded slowly at her words, “We have to get to Jiwoo and Sooyoung. I-If we’re together, we can do it. Right...?” She sounded so scared, but her words were oddly certain. The relentless pounding and straining against the doors was impossibly unsettling. That door wasn’t gonna hold forever. I could hear the wood creaking.

“We’ve gotta go,” I told her frantically, reaching to hold her hand tightly as I looked around the room.

“U-um, they said the back of the building?” Her hand shook and mine did too. I wish I could steady her somehow.

“Yeah, uh, there’s no door...” This room we’d rushed frantically into was pretty big. The furthest wall from us likely led to whatever was behind the building. It had a few windows along it. “C’mon,” Before heading over, I made sure to reach and rip the fireplace poker ungracefully from the infected I’d killed. It’d come in handy.

I let her go, readying the poker like a sort of baseball bat, “Stand back okay?” She did as I said. Using as much force as I could muster, I slammed the rod against the glass, and it shattered into shards that fell clumsily at my feet. I made sure to get rid of the sharp pieces on the sill so we wouldn’t scrape up our legs, and I vaulted outside, turning to help Chae do the same.

We were on a new road. Thankfully it was empty. I never thought I’d be so relieved at the sight of an empty road. I wondered if I should call out for Sooyoung or Jiwoo, but was hesitant because of the noise. After a second of nervous deliberation, I didn’t need to make that choice anymore, because I finally heard that door give way over our shoulder.

The infected flooded into the room we’d been in, and it only took them a second to spot us out that window. Shit. Chae latched onto my arm with white knuckles and I held onto the bloodied poker, trying _so_ hard to be brave and _protect her_.

But thankfully, I didn’t have to anymore.

“Guys!!” A voice I instantly recognized as Jiwoo’s snapped me out of my intense survival mode, and I jumped slightly in surprise. She and Sooyoung ran by us and Sooyoung grabbed onto the back of Chae’s jacket with white knuckles, tugging the both of us along with her as a result. The infected scrambled clumsily out the window, some of them slicing themselves on the glass but not even flinching. We really couldn’t shake them, huh?

“C’mon, this way!” Jiwoo told us firmly as she ran ahead. Thank god. Thank _god_. I thought we were gonna be all by ourselves. I thought I wouldn’t find them again. I felt so much safer with them there, with Jiwoo leading us and with Sooyoung being so brave and strong. Once we’d gotten separated, the panicked, fearful part of me had morbidly started to believe I was just waiting for what was going to kill me. Now that feeling was gone, and I really don’t know how to describe how relieving it felt.

Jiwoo paused for a second, and we were all held in terrifying limbo. She was looking at a row of buildings across the street, clearly trying to figure out which to lead us into. It must’ve been so much pressure. I didn’t envy her, but I trusted her.

**_Sooyoung_ **

Jiwoo made a decision right as I was starting to wonder if I’d have to physical steer her somewhere, and she ran ahead into what I think was a bike stop. It’d only been a few seconds of deliberation, sure, but those few seconds let them almost fully catch up to us. Jiwoo burst inside first and held the door open, and I helped her slam it shut. Our head start was just enough for us to do it. This store was really small. This time the infected seemed to realize that there were other potential entrances. Some broke off from the main crowd and rounded the side of the building, slamming their fists against the glass of the windows. Shit, those wouldn’t hold.

“ _Find something to block those!!_ ” I called out frantically to the others, already rushing around the store myself. There wasn’t much that was movable in here. There were some shelves but they were all waist-height, not nearly tall enough to be a good window barricade.

Hyejoo rushed forward and pushed one of them close to the glass anyway, with the help of Chae. Maybe if we stacked them. The two of them helped me when I went to lift one of them up, and it was heavier than I thought, but now this stack would be topheavy. That wasn’t safe at all. Fuck.

“This is a-a bike place!” Chae spoke up suddenly, looking at our surroundings. There were a lot of half-put together bike frames laying around. I guess this was some place that fixed bikes, but didn’t sell them? Only one was fully intact, leaning up against a nearby wall, but the others were in pieces. “Can we use these? Like, to ride?? Bikes are faster than them!” She realized all of that in the moment, and I only then processed what a good idea it actually was.

“There’s only one--” Jiwoo started to point out, still puttering around looking for some other sort of barricade.

“--No, I, I know a lot about bikes! I can probably put together the other ones and get them rideable, u-um, but I need some time--”

“We don’t really have much time, Chae!” Jiwoo told her, pushing a nearby chair against the door and seemingly to consider whether or not she should try and use it for the window instead. It wouldn’t do much either way. 

“I-I-I--” Chae was already trying to help. She grabbed a bike chain from a nearby toolbox and approached one of the bike frames, starting to attach it.

More infected joined the ones pounding on the glass panes. “Fuck, these windows aren’t gonna hold...” My mind was going a million miles a minute. I spun on my heel, spotting a back exit behind the counter. That might be a way out, but when I listened closer I realized that the infected were pounding against that door too. “Chae, try to build the bikes. It’s our ticket out of this fucking place. I’ve gotta... lead them away, or something.” If we stayed in here, we were sitting ducks.

Jiwoo stepped forward, “What?”

I didn’t miss a beat, pulling out my revolver and setting it on a nearby counter, “I can go out the back, make a lot of noise somewhere else so they leave this place alone.”

“But how will you get back?” Hyejoo asked, her body shaking but her voice surprisingly steady. That was... a good question. One I didn’t really have a concrete answer to, in all honesty. My lips parted, as if to respond with something, anything, but I didn’t know what to say. We didn’t even have time for this. Hyejoo stepped forward, still weidling that fireplace poker with an uncharacteristic readiness, “I-I can go with you--”

Chae stopped mid-motion as she rolled a bike tire toward one of the bikes she was putting together, “What? Hyejoo-yah--”

I shook my head, “It’ll be easier if I just go--”

“But we can help, we--” Hyejoo was doing her best to try and be assertive and brave. I could sense how hard it was for her to do it, but she was trying. It was sweet. I was proud of her for it.

“No.” This wasn’t up for discussion. It was too dangerous for any of them to come. Not to say that it was safe there, but...

Jiwoo stepped closer to me again, everyone speaking almost on top of each other from how frantically we were all trying to get our words in. Every passing second was full of the rabid growls from outside, from the sound of glass almost giving way. “We aren’t useless, I’ve saved you before--”

“--of course you aren’t useless.” I didn’t like that she’d even suggest that. Jiwoo was so far from useless. _None_ of them were useless. “Not at all. But I-- I just--” Fuck, I didn’t know how to word any of this, and we shouldn’t have even been having the discussion at all. The stakes were too high. Every second could mean life and death. I was antsy, wanting to run, wanting to get away and bring the infected with me so they wouldn’t lay a hand on any of these girls. Sighing in frustration, I just tightly clasped Jiwoo’s hand, “I don’t want you guys getting hurt.”

Jiwoo’s brow wrinkled up adorably in the middle, and she stared at me with those big eyes, “Sooyoung...”

I didn’t let her start, knowing whatever she planned on saying would just make this all so much more complicated. “It’s fine. I’m leaving you the gun, in case any get in - shoot them. Don’t take _any_ risks. Look, if you secure the entrance at the front with as much as we can and make a ton of noise, they’ll go that way. I’ll sneak out the back, and they won’t see me.”

And then everyone was talking all at once again.

“You shouldn’t go out there alone, Sooyoung, it’s dangerous--” Chae fretted.

“--We don’t have another choice--”

“--Well we can take some time and think--” Hyejoo tried to rationalize.

That wasn’t an option though. “--there’s no _time_ \--”

“-- _I won’t lose you too._ ” Jiwoo’s voice made all of us stop our bickering. It was high-pitched and desperate. She latched suddenly onto my arm with both of her hands, her white-knuckled grip holding me in place. Tears clung to her eyelashes. “I can’t.” Her voice broke on the last statement.

I knew we didn’t have time for this, but I didn’t care. I pulled her close against me, and I placed a lingering kiss on her forehead. She trembled from the contact, shutting those glossy, beautiful eyes and loosely gripping onto the front of my shirt. That wasn’t gonna stop me. And she wasn’t going to change my mind.

I took a deep breath, realizing I really had to get things moving. “Guys, you just have to trust me. I’ll be okay. This isn’t a debate. I’m going.”

Jiwoo shook her head, some of those tears threatening to stream down her cheeks as she glared up at me, “Stop, I can go _with you._ ” She punched my chest weakly, wanting her protest to matter. To affect me.

“I need you to protect the girls.” I spoke softly to her. The sentiment caught her totally off guard. Her only real response was to blink a few times, startled. I meant it. Jiwoo had shown me she was capable of defending herself, of defending me, which meant she could also defend them. “Keep them safe.” Hyejoo and Chae didn’t protest in the slightest.

Jiwoo sniffled ever so slightly, “I... but...”

“I’m trusting you with this. I’ll be back before you know it.” I wasn’t nearly as confident in this plan as I was acting, but she didn’t need to know that.

Finally, she stepped slightly away. That was as much of an agreement from her as I was going to get, which was fine. I didn’t expect her to be happy about this.

Chaewon muttered something in her soft, airy voice, “Be quick.” She was still working on the first bike frame. She’d made progress. I was proud of her too. Everyone was stepping up and taking initiative. They already seemed so much older, somehow. Not just kids anymore.

“Be _careful_.” Hyejoo added on, clutching that iron poker like her life depended on it. Maybe it did.

“I will. Now go, draw them to the front alright? Get them off the windows, they’re flimsy but the door’s stronger. I’ll be back as fast as I can.” They were already moving as I spoke. Hyejoo rushed to the front and banged her poker obnoxiously against a metal shelf - the noise loud and attention-grabbing. Sure enough, the sound of infected that’d surrounded us on all sides now only centered at the front doors. Good. It was working. “We’re getting out of this, alright?”

I didn’t get a response, so I repeated myself, making myself sound as optimistic as humanly possible. “ _Alright?_ ”

“Alright!” Chae was the only one to speak, her tone surprisingly chipper and hopeful. She had an oil stain on her cheek somehow.

I _needed_ to keep them all safe.

I cautiously slipped out the back door and shut it gently behind me. The last thing I needed was for them all to be on my ass when I wasn’t even sure how I was gonna make all this noise. My plan was definitely better than having no idea what to do, but there were still so many unknowns. Where would I make the noise? How far away should I get? What if it wasn’t loud enough to draw them away? What if I couldn’t find a way back without them following me, making this whole thing pointless anyway?

It didn’t matter. None of that mattered. It was up to me, regardless of how well the plan actually went. I just started running, out onto the road on the other side of the block. Maybe a few streets over would be a good distance? Even if they did try and chase me down I could probably lose them in buildings, like Jiwoo had. Or at least try to.

That was when I spotted it. A music store. It had instruments on display in its windows, posters plastered on the glass offering lessons. But more importantly, there were a bunch of huge stereo speakers. That’d definitely make some noise. I burst inside in an instant. I was no expert, but I should be able to figure out how to set up some speakers. While I was fumbling around for cords and plugging them aimlessly into whatever socket they fit into, I spotted something that made me stop still.

There was a bulletin board in this little store. It was clearly locally run. A small spot, a fixture of the community. There were pictures of people playing instruments pinned on the cork, getting lessons or performing around town. And one of the pictures was Jiwoo. She was so _small_. She was perched on a stool, her little legs dangling off the edge and not nearly long enough to touch the floor. She still had that same, huge smile. Her guitar was on her lap. The same one she’d had when I’d first met her. God, she couldn’t have been older than eight in that picture. She’d had it for so long. My heart wrenched.

_Focus, Sooyoung. Focus._ I told myself in my head, but it wasn’t just the wholesome decor that was distracting me. Someone had left a radio on in a back room and I could make out the sound of a muffled voice trying to overpower slight static. It was weird to hear a radio, to be reminded of stuff from before things went to hell. I finally plugged in every speaker I could find and raised their volume to as loud as it would go, knowing that as soon as I started playing the music it might damn near blow out my eardrums. It’d definitely draw them, no question about it. I needed an escape route though. Maybe in the back?

I quickly headed there, knowing that every second counted. That stupid muffled radio actually got coherent. And what it was saying more than caught my attention. It was a weak signal, almost hard to understand from the static, but when I listened closely I got the gist.

“...a refuge on Geumodo island, off the southern coast. There is no infection, I repeat, there is no infection. There is shelter and safety. Our docks are open to survivors arriving by water. We will be sending a helicopter to nearby helipads along the coast, every day starting at 18:00. This message will repeat.”

It did. I wanted to listen again, just to make sure I’d heard it right and hadn’t hallucinated, but I didn’t have time for that. There was a small little cassette player on a small, stained table in the break room. Vintage. I grabbed it, not _really_ knowing how to use it but just hoping I could figure it out as I pressed the record button and let the message play another time. While it was recording, I looked around the rest of the room. There were some windows, a grimy looking fridge where people probably put their lunches, and a back door. Great, that’d be my way out, but that wasn’t the only thing that caught my eye.

There was a guitar. A brand new looking guitar, and although it obviously wasn’t, it sort of looked like Jiwoo’s. Someone had left it unattended in a nearby corner. Without so much as a second thought, I hefted its weight into my hands. Knowing I had an exit plan now, I shoved the tape recorder into my pocket and went back to the rest of the store. For good measure, I shattered the front windows so the sound would have even less of a buffer. Then I finally pressed play.

Ow _fuck_ that was _loud_. The vibrations of the bass from like, four different songs blaring at once made the whole building tremble and shake violently. On instinct I covered my ears, grimacing, but at least I knew it’d work. The sound bounced off the walls of the buildings on the eerily empty streets. They’d absolutely hear. Time to get out.

Ignoring the ringing in my ears, I fled to the back room again. It wouldn’t take long for the infected to get here, not at all. I reached the door and pushed against it--

\--but it didn’t budge. What?? Fuck, fuck _fuck_ , it was locked. I pressed against it hard, rattling the knob. Still locked. Shit. There was no time for this. I needed to get _out_. _Fast_ _._

The window was the closest thing to me. I rushed toward it as fast as I could, lifting up a chair next to the break room table and slamming it against the glass. It shattered apart into shards. The window wasn’t too big, but I could fit. I had to. The music was so loud I couldn’t hear how close the infected were. For all I knew, they might’ve been inside. For just a second, I stole a fleeting glance over my shoulder through the break room doorway and I spotted them. They were already on the street. Fuck.

I hoisted myself onto the sill, struggling to scramble over it. The window was just high enough so I couldn’t quite muster enough leverage to get out it. I kicked aimlessly to try and propel myself the rest of the way, but there was nothing for me to kick off of. That was when I felt a rabid hand latch onto my boot. _Shit_. The sudden grip was terrifying and life-threatening, but in contrast, it was just what I needed. I kicked against the infected’s shoulder and it launched me straight out the window, not in the most graceful fashion, but I was out of its grasp.

A stabbing pain suddenly shot through my stomach and I couldn’t help but cry out as I tumbled to the pavement of some back alley. _Fuck_. A shard of glass had dug itself deep into my abdomen from the sudden propulsion over the sill. It left a long, jagged gash right down my middle, and it was already bleeding. It’d ripped my shirt open too. I cursed through my teeth, doubling over and clutching at my wound, my ears still ringing so badly it nearly gave me a headache. There was no time for this. I staggered unevenly to my feet and _fuck_ did it hurt to stand. I needed to use the wall for support. I could feel the blood dripping down my torso but I had no way to stop it. I needed to run, fast. Infected were already trying to climb out the window after me. It wouldn’t take long for them to figure it out.

I started to move, to run, but it _hurt_ like a _bitch_. Shit. Oh no. Was I even gonna get back...?

_Shut up. You’re gonna get back. You promised you would._ I scolded myself in my own head as I forced myself to pick up the pace. I tried to put pressure on the wound, but that just hurt even more. I didn’t know what to do. I’d honestly never dealt with pain that intense before, so I had no idea how to cope with it. All I could do was grit my teeth and bear it as best as I could. I staggered, slower than I should be going but barely able to manage anything more.

“C’mon, c’mon...” I told myself between deep, heavy breaths, going just a bit faster. I was halfway across the street when some of the ones in the store spotted me. Fuck.

Their sprinting was way faster than my half-hearted, desperate jog. I only had one more option, and I took it, reaching to my bag and pulling out my last molotov. With an impossibly shaky hand splattered with my own blood, I lit the rag and hurled it over my shoulder into the crowd. The bottle shattered and the flames spread just like last time, but for good measure, I ducked into a building at my side to get out of their line of sight.

The detour threw me a bit off track, but it prevented them from being on my tail. Finally. I wasn’t being actively chased. That was so relieving. I let myself take a few much needed, deep breaths, but kept moving at a steady pace. The distant sound of blaring music got quieter and quieter the further I got away, which was reassuring. It meant the infected were getting further and further away too.

Finally, after what felt like hours of unevenly limping my way through a bunch of buildings and alleys, I spotted the back of that bike shop. Thank god.

I reached the back door and gently knocked on it, feeling ever so slightly lightheaded. For long seconds, nobody responded. Uh oh. My heart started beating faster, and I brought my fist against the door harder that time. Had something happened? Were they okay?!

“Who is it...?” Hyejoo’s timid, small voice spoke up from the other side. She was okay. 

“I-It’s Sooyoung.” I told her softly, and the door was thrown open the very next second. I was pulled inside by two pairs of arms and clung onto just a bit too tightly for comfort. As soon as I winced, Hyejoo drew away, but Jiwoo stayed glued to me.

“What happened to you--” She looked down, at my blood covered hands and the rip in my shirt. “Y-you’re hurt!! Sooyoung, you’re hurt, were you bitten? Did they bite you??” The fear in Jiwoo’s voice was so impossibly real. Her eyes were red around the rims and they were steadily filling up with tears as her lip quivered.

“No. Not a bite.” I told her firmly, not wanting there to be any room for doubt. “I’m okay.” Hyejoo took the guitar from my hand and set it down, pulling up a chair for me to sit in. The store was eerily quiet now besides the vague sounds of Chae working on the bikes. All the infected had left. Jiwoo immediately sat me down on the chair and knelt in front of me. I didn’t want to make a big deal of anything, but it did feel nice to get off my feet.

“Then what is it? What happened, please tell me you’re okay, I-I don’t know what I’ll do if you’re--” Those tears looked like they were about to fall.

I reached closer, placing my hand gently on her cheek, and she leaned into the gesture. “I’m _okay_. I’m here, in one piece. I’m back. See? I’m right here.”

Chae poked her head up from what she was working on. There was a new, fully intact bike resting alongside the wall next to the other one. There were a few new oil spots on her cheeks and hands, “I can’t believe you did it. That music, was that you?” I listened a bit closer. You could vaguely hear it, even all the way over here.

“Yeah. Figured it’d be loud enough to get them away...” I shifted where I sat and grimaced again, causing Jiwoo to enter full on concern mode a second time.

“Let me look at it,” She reached forward, grasping the hem of my shirt and taking the liberty of lifting it up. Her cheeks lit slightly with a very faint blush as she did so, but it didn’t stop her. Her eyes widened when she actually saw the wound, and I didn’t blame her. It looked bad. Worse than it felt. “Oh my god, Sooyoung, w-what happened?!”

I shrugged, “Lost a fight with a window pane.”

She glared slightly at me, “Stop joking.” I tried to shoot her a smile, but she didn’t return it. I couldn’t help but be relieved, I was just glad to be alive. Glad to see them all again, when I’d genuinely doubted it’d happen. Jiwoo reached into the plastic bag of pharmacy supplies we’d received earlier, “We’ve gotta treat this.”

I shook my head, “No, it’s fine. It looks worse than it is. Just kinda stings.”  
  


“W-We have painkillers,” Hyejoo readily offered. At some point she’d finally set down her fireplace poker, and now her hands just trembled. I reached forward and clasped one of them, hoping to steady it. She gripped mine with both of hers, her grip tight.

“We have sutures too...” Jiwoo muttered as she pawed through what scarce supplies we’d been given.

“Sutures? Alright, let’s relax here--” I tried to protest the idea but was met with instant opposition.

“Shut up.” Jiwoo told me firmly, not even an ounce of sarcasm or banter in her tone. I listened. “We should at _least_ bandage it, you’re bleeding...” Her fingers gently traced near the wound and it sent a chill up my spine from the delicate contact, but I ignored that.

“Not that much.” I told her genuinely. It was true. Most of the bleeding had stopped once I’d moved less and stopped with all the exertion.

“What else would we use bandages for, dumbass?” Jiwoo quipped back at me with a glare, already taking out the small roll we had. There weren’t enough to flippantly use them. We didn’t know when we’d get more of those.

“For when you guys get hurt...” I looked over my shoulder at Chae, who was pretty engrossed in her work but kept stealing glances back at us. I’d noticed something earlier, but it’d been too hectic to ask. “Chae, what happened to your neck?”

She turned to me with a raised eyebrow, “Eh? Oh-- I--” She reached up to the wound, as if she’d forgotten it was there, “This is nothing, I-I’m fine.” She shot me a smile. I wasn’t sure if she was being truthful or not.

Jiwoo sighed, “Ugh... I wish Haseul was here.” A silence spread from the words. We all wished Haseul was there. Hell, I honestly wished that some of the other girls were there too. If we had Hyunjin, or even Jungeun with us, we would’ve stood way more of a chance against all this mess and would’ve had way less brushes with death. We couldn’t dwell on that, though. It wouldn’t do any good.

“Well, she’s not.” I muttered soberingly, my words cutting through the dense air

Jiwoo frowned in frustrated dismay, “I don’t know what’s best to treat this stuff...”

I scooted closer on my chair, and she met my gaze again, “Take my word for it, how about? Just give me some pills or something. I think _I_ know how I’m feeling more than you guys, and I’m not trying to be a bitch for once.” I told them genuinely. I wasn’t lying. I really didn’t want to use up those bandages. The bleeding would stop eventually. Probably.

“Stop it, you aren’t a bitch...” Jiwoo told me softly, her gaze flitting between my wound and the bag of supplies in her hand.

_**Chaewon** _

“We’re bandaging you. I don’t care what you say.” Jiwoo told Sooyoung firmly just as I finished putting together the last bike. They were all sorta... um, patchwork? They definitely looked unique. But what mattered was their pedals pedalled, and their tires were inflated.

“Assaaa!! They’re all set!!” I leapt to my feet, turning around fully, hands on my hips. My chest felt impossibly lighter, knowing that I’d done something to really help us all. No more running! Before I’d bought my scooter, I’d done my deliveries on a worn down bike. Its parts broke all the time and I’d needed to learn how to fix it on my own - I _definitely_ didn’t have the money to pay for it. It used to seriously bug me, ruining my shifts when it’d break down, so I never would’ve thought coping with that inconvenience would potentially save my life one day.

Jiwoo had started wrapping bandages around Sooyoung’s middle. I got a good look at the wound for the first time and my stomach got all queasy. _Ouch_. That looked like it really hurt. My smile slid off my face in an instant and I gravitated to Sooyoung’s side. “Ow.” I told her softly as I stood there.

She looked up at me and managed a smile through another slight grimace, “Yeah. Ow.” One of her hands reached up and brushed at my cheek, wiping some oil off. I playfully batted her hand away, which only made her repeat the motion more firmly. I giggled weakly, and she smiled more.

Hyejoo uncapped a pill bottle after having an adorably hard time with the child lock, and handed one of the pills to Sooyoung. She swallowed it without any water, something I found way more impressive than it probably was. Jiwoo was being super duper extra careful, all of her motions precise and cautious. It was just bandaging. I didn’t think you could really mess that up, but she was treating it like brain surgery. That was when I spotted something that definitely hadn’t been in here before.

“Oooh! A guitar-- wait,” I paused, confused, and turned back to Jiwoo. She still had her guitar bag on her back, but her guitar wasn’t in it. Oh, she must’ve taken it out and set it down or something. I lifted it up and brought it over from the corner it’d been placed in, “Jiwoo, you should put this away. We’re gonna be going in a sec!”

Jiwoo stopped mid-bandage layer and looked at me in confusion, and her face fell. Oh. What?

“That’s not--” She blinked a bunch of times, then looked back at Sooyoung with wide, still sort of glossy eyes. “What...?” There was so much emotion in her tone, but more than anything she sounded awestruck. Oh. I looked closer at the guitar still in my hand. It didn’t have any scratches. There wasn’t the small little heart sticker on the wood, either. This wasn’t Jiwoo’s guitar. What had happened to Lucille...? Had she lost her? Oh no. My heart sank.

“I found it.” Sooyoung seemed to answer a question Jiwoo hadn’t even asked all the way. Her tone lacked the emotion Jiwoo’s had, but I had a feeling she was downplaying things. This clearly meant a lot.

Sooyoung finished the rest of the bandage herself, the roll empty now. Jiwoo seemed utterly incapable of it, too dumbstruck by the instrument’s sudden appearance. Sooyoung pushed her shirt back down as Jiwoo’s trembling hands gently took the guitar from me and held it with vague familiarity. She stared at it like it was made of gold. It made me smile weakly from the scene. She must’ve lost Lucille, which was just... awful, but Sooyoung had found her a new Lucille. A Lucy, if you will. Maybe she’d name it that.

“The music store.” Sooyoung muttered softly, her eyes warm.

Jiwoo’s absolute shock hadn’t worn off yet as she ran her fingers along the untainted wood and the taut strings, as if double-checking that it was real. That it was there. That it was hers. “You didn’t have to...”

Sooyoung shrugged weakly, “Well, I did--” The next second, Jiwoo had shoved the guitar back into my hands suddenly so she could throw her arms around Sooyoung’s neck. Sooyoung’s eyebrows raised, “--Oh--” She couldn’t seem to contain her smile as she rubbed a gentle circle along Jiwoo’s back, but also winced slightly from the sudden, abrupt contact.

“Thank you.” Jiwoo spoke that so softly I almost couldn’t hear it, her gratitude expressed in a teary whisper right into Sooyoung’s ear. I sort of expected Sooyoung to dismiss the thanks, but instead, she just nodded ever so slightly into Jiwoo’s shoulder. And that was that.

Jiwoo drew away with a quick breath, her composure returning to her. She took her new guitar and zipped it carefully into her eerily empty guitar bag, then looked at me with twinkling eyes. “You said you finished the bikes?”

I smiled broadly at the reminder of my achievement, “Yes! They’re ready to go, but um, there’s only three. Someone’s gonna have to share, but we can figure that out. Important thing is! They’re built! Now we can zoom right outta here!” It was hard to contain my excitement. On a more childish, base level apart from liking to survive, I just really loved bike rides.

Sooyoung returned my smile, “Great job, Chae. You really came through.”

Hyejoo was beaming at me too, “You’re amazing.”

My heart fluttered slightly from how genuine that compliment was, and I felt a little bit of heat rise in my cheeks. “Thank you... are we all ready to go?”

“Yes, more than ready. To the other town, right?” Hyejoo asked for clarification about our hastily made earlier plan.

“Wait, actually--” Sooyoung pulled what looked like a vintage cassette player from her pocket, “At the music store, a radio was playing this message. Here, listen for a sec.” She pushed play, and we all stood, dead silent as a voice carried through the bike shop.

“This is a broadcast on the emergency frequency. We have a refuge on Geumodo island, off the southern coast. There is no infection, I repeat, there is no infection. There is shelter and safety. Our docks are open to survivors arriving by water. We will be sending a helicopter to nearby helipads along the coast, every day starting at 18:00. This message will repeat.”

The whole time I listened to that, my heart was soaring with something I hadn’t felt for days: hope. Real, genuine, unfiltered _hope_. My cheeks hurt from how wide I smiled. Finally. A real destination, something to look forward to instead of fear. “We have to go!! Oh my god, guys, we _have to go!!”_ I just barely restrained the urge to literally jump up and down.

Hyejoo nodded readily, “Yeah! We have to! Jiwoo, do you know the way to the coast from here?” She asked cleverly. I’d been too hyped to even think of that.

The cogs of Jiwoo’s mind were clearly turning, but the onset of a smile was visibly tugging at the corners of her lips. I could tell she wanted to be happy about this news too, who wouldn’t be, but it was harder for her than it normally would’ve been. The past days had been hell for her. I couldn’t blame her for being reluctant to latch onto this, but she didn’t say any of that aloud at least. “Yeah. It’s kinda far, but with the bikes, we can do it.”

“Yes!!” I allowed myself to do one small jump, just to get it out of my system, and quickly went to a rack on the wall. I tugged various bike helmets from it, gearing up, “Okay! Let’s go!! Everyone, you can pick whatever color you want,” I looked at Sooyoung, who saw what I was doing and seemed skeptical, and counteracted her protest before she had the chance to make it, “but you’re _wearing a helmet_.” My voice was stern enough for her to listen without question. Damn right. I picked a turquoise one, Sooyoung grudgingly settled on black, Hyejoo chose purple and Jiwoo liked the one with pretty flowers.

“Sooyoung, you shouldn’t pedal.” Jiwoo spoke slowly as we pushed all the bikes out the door and onto the street.

“What? Oh please, I can--” Sooyoung tried to fight back, but it was dumb.

“You’re still hurt, and you’re slow. You shouldn’t push yourself.” Hyejoo surprisingly chimed in on the matter. Even more surprisingly, Sooyoung listened and just sighed, hopping onto the back of my bike seat. I was the smallest here, so it made sense for her to share with me.

“Good. Everyone all set?” Jiwoo asked, one foot already on a pedal. We all nodded in unison. “Alright. Here goes nothing.”


	25. What're the Odds?

_Meanwhile, in a quiet conference room..._

_**Yeojin** _

I woke up to Yerim’s arms still loosely wrapped around my middle, spooning me from behind as we laid pretty damn uncomfortably on this hardwood floor. Ow. All my friggin joints hurt. And I knew that whatever inevitable shitshow we ran into later, I was gonna have to be doing some more stressful running. Fun. Part of me just wanted to go right back to sleep. I really didn’t feel up to facing the day. Yerim stirred and nuzzled her nose slightly against the back of my neck. She was out _cold_. Relatable, honestly. I’d only woken up because of a bad dream I barely remembered, but seriously I would’ve been more concerned if I’d had a good dream cuz like, how would anyone even manage that in these circumstances? Probably a sociopath.

People were already up before me. Hyunjin was pacing back and forth on the other side of the room, the rhythm of her footsteps making it impossible to doze back off. Rude. She chewed at her bottom lip, buff arms crossed. My nose throbbed slightly just from looking at her muscles. It was still sore. Obviously. Probably swollen too. I bet it looked like a big tomato by this point. I smiled at my own thoughts, only slightly amazed that I was still so funny I could make myself smile despite... yaknow.

I almost started thinking about it. About him. But I wouldn’t let myself. It hurt too much, and I just... I didn’t know how to deal with it. It was like I couldn’t. So I didn’t plan on trying. Instead I just turned to lay on my back, staring up at the ceiling. Yerim was clingy as hell and automatically nestled her head in my shoulder, still asleep from what I could tell. People started talking to each other quietly, and I eavesdropped, having nothing better to do and wanting to distract myself.

“Can I wake them up now?” Hyunjin asked someone else frantically. God, when was she not frantic?

“If they’re still sleeping in this late, they need it.” Vivi answered softly, her voice lower than Hyunjin’s had been. Was it late? I glanced at the window. It looked like... noon maybe? I don’t know, I couldn’t tell time without my phone and it’d died the day before.

“No shit, but we should be on the road. Moving. Heejin could be on that island already, a-and I need to get to her.” She muttered softly, pacing faster. Heejin must’ve been her girlfriend. She hadn’t said her name until then. Heejin and Hyunjin, huh? Interesting name combo. HeeHyun? 2jin? I wondered if they called themselves that, or if I should pitch the ship names to them. Something told me it wouldn’t be the best time. Maybe later, after we found her.

“Right, yes, I know.” Vivi yawned quietly, “I didn’t have the best sleep either.” I doubted anyone did. Yerim seemed pretty conked out, but I think it was just from exhaustion.

Hyunjin scoffed, “I couldn’t sleep for a second. Not when she’s so far from me...” Well that was sad. Hyunjin was so damn sad. I looked forward to she and Heejin finally getting back together. Maybe if Hyunjin was happy she’d beat people up for me. If not I could always pull the “hey you broke my nose” card. I planned on using that for as long as I could.

“What if the island stops accepting new survivors cuz too many people are flocking there? We have to get there fast.” The more she spoke, the faster she paced. She was running herself up the wall from her own stress-induced thoughts, and her voice was raising. Jeez she was unhinged.

It was actually enough to wake Yerim. She stirred, grumbling sleepily as she unevenly blinked her eyes open. “Why’s everyone yelling...?” She mumbled groggily. When she sat up I went with her, wanting to stay close.

Jungeun sighed, still sitting in the same chair she’d set up by the door the night before to keep watch. Had she actually stayed up all night? Jesus. “Hyunjin, take a breath. It’s good for us to get this rest in. They aren’t gonna stop accepting survivors, they wouldn’t be advertising themselves as a refuge if they had such a small cap. It’s an island, I doubt they’ll run out of room.” That was a good point. She didn’t sound _too_ dismissive, but there was the slightest sarcastic tinge to her voice.

Hyunjin was pretty thoroughly unconvinced. That was to be expected. She paced faster, sighing in frustration.

Yerim raised an eyebrow, “Yeah, islands are pretty big.” She started to get to her feet, grumbling along the way in discomfort and extending her hand down to me once she stood up. She rubbed at one of her still bright eyes.

“Sleepy?” Haseul asked politely, sitting on the edge of one of the tables in the conference room. That was weird - it actually looked like she slept last night. A truly groundbreaking development - that bitch never slept, ever. She was probably just so exhausted it even overrode her insomnia.

Yerim nodded with a small smile, “It took me a while to get to sleep. There were like... weird noises coming from the closet?”

Haseul’s face fell suddenly, “W-- in the closet?? O-Oh that’s, uh, that’s weird, w-what did it--”

“--That was just a-- broom.” Jungeun interjected suddenly, “A broom fell, I-I went in there to try and pick it up but-- I-- knocked some shit down.”

Haseul laughed but it sounded forced, “Ah ha, yeah, it woke me up too! Klutz...” She trailed off, staring down at her feet. Why was her face so red? Alright something was clearly going on here, and just as I was about to rev up my trademark nosiness and utilize my prime detective skills to sleuth it out, Hyunjin took over the conversation again.

“Whatever, yeah, good morning, is everyone ready to go??” She looked around at the rest of us. Everyone was at least semi-awake. Jinsol had also been roused from all the talking, and tried to smooth down the bedhead she’d somehow acquired without even sleeping on a bed.

“I am.” Jun raised his hand, like we were taking a poll or something. He nudged Jinsol with his foot, cuz she was still on the ground. She slapped his shoe away indignantly, slowly getting up on her own.

“Great, everyone’s up,” Hyunjin grabbed her machete from the table she’d left it on and made a beeline for the door, “Come on. Let’s go.” She was filled with energy, and although it was nervous energy, it was sort of nice to see her determined again. The day before, when she’d collapsed in the middle of that road with absolutely no hope? That was uh... that was rough. Hadn’t wanted to see that. Her being all antsy and frantic was annoying, sure, but it was easier to deal with.

Although we were all still tired as fuck and scared shitless, nobody else really protested. We all got up at varying speeds and convened around the door, gathering our supplies and readying whatever weapons we had. I wished I had a weapon or something. Jim had been my weapon before, but...

“Okay. I won’t run full on but we’re at _least_ jogging for a while, got it? It’s kinda far, right Jun?” Hyunjin looked at the cop over my shoulder and he nodded. Jeez, why’d he have to be so tall? It was offensive to me. “Well then I want to cover a lot of ground if we can. No stops along the way, right? Nobody has any random loved one they wanna check on??” Only silence followed the question. “Great, it’s a straight shot then. Let’s go.”

_**Jinsol** _

Hyunjin was dead serious about no detrours and covering a lot of ground. It was exhausting. We’d jogged for as long as people could, getting out of that burnt down town without much difficulty. The infected who’d cornered us in the building had gotten distracted by some other noise. We’d been walking along eerily empty countryside roads for what must’ve been an hour, with nobody really saying much the entire time. It was so quiet out here. And not in a good way, it was just a reminder of how lifeless everything was. Hyunjin was taking the lead at the front, with Jungeun and I toward the back. I was just going slow from sheer laziness, but I think Jungeun was trying to guard our rear in case everything went to shit or something.

“Do you feel more ready to use that knife now?” She asked me softly, eyebrow raised. I’d nearly forgotten about our little training session the night before. I still awkwardly clung to the blade, not really having any better place to put it. It wasn’t like I had a pre-made sheath for a fucking kitchen knife.

“Um, sure... I mean, I’m never quite ‘ready’ to stab something trying to kill me, but... yeah.” If you’d told me a few days before then that I was gonna be wielding a knife with relative familiarity, I would’ve said you were crazy, but I also wouldn’t have believed that the world was gonna end.

She didn’t say anything to that, she didn’t even nod. It seemed like she was distracted. I wondered why, she always seemed pretty focused. “I’m running low on ammo.” She muttered softly, as if it were a confession. If anything it just felt like an unnecessary addition to how unsafe I already felt. I swallowed hard, not sure what she wanted me to say to that. “I could probably take down a crowd or two more, maybe try getting more headshots so they go down with just one, or leg shots so we can take them out safer and--”

“--Can we not talk about this stuff, just for a second, please?” I’m not sure where that came from, but it slipped out before I could overthink it.

It stopped her words mid-sentence. She raised an eyebrow, slowing her pace slightly. “What do you mean?”

I sighed lightly, feeling absolutely drained. Sure I’d slept, but I was still so exhausted. It was tiring to think of how much longer this would go on for, how much longer we’d have to fight for our lives before we could really just _rest_. You had to take every second of reprieve you had, every moment you could even try to pretend like things were okay, but Jungeun had snapped me out of my slight layer of comforting denial. It couldn’t be good for her either - to have her mind constantly running, to have her guard always all the way up. She needed to get her mind off of these things, even just for a little.

“I mean... lets pretend you aren’t lugging around a heavy rifle, like I didn’t almost lose an eye, like there aren’t flesh-eating monsters everywhere, and lets... I dunno, act normal?” I wasn’t sure if that sounded dumb or not, but I didn’t even care.

Jungeun was thoroughly confused, “Act normal how?”

“Like... lets play one of those road trip games that get annoying really really fast.” I suggested genuinely, daring to crack a wide smile.

For a few long moments she just stared at me, like it was taking her a bit to even process my question, until finally, a smile came to her face too. She looked better when she smiled. It made her whole face light up, even if it was only a tiny thing. Sometimes her eyes would sparkle a bit too, but I’d only noticed that once or twice - which made sense, all things considered. Maybe once we got to the island she’d be able to smile more often.

She shook her head weakly at me, laughing lightly to herself, “You’re... really something, you know that?”

I laughed along with her, nudging her shoulder slightly. If she meant to tease me, that was fine, but at least she was being nice about it. “Shut up... c’mon, humor me.”

Surprisingly, she did. And even more surprisingly, walking along that empty country road while playing twenty questions with Jungeun made time pass a hell of a lot quicker. She was pretty good at it. And yeah, it was twenty questions, so it got pretty damn annoying after a while, but just doing it was a good enough distraction. She even put her rifle onto her back instead of holding it in her hands, so she could better count and keep track of how many questions she’d asked on her fingers. I got a laugh or two out of her - just small little giggles more than anything else - but I was glad. She deserved a laugh.

It couldn’t last forever, though. Eventually we trailed off and went silent, but that was okay too. She moved to walk closer to my side, and eventually we switched to I Spy - truly the last desperate game you play on a road trip. That lasted like thirty seconds before we gave up.

Hyunjin wasn’t stopping. We passed some stuff that might’ve been interesting to check out, even entire towns, but Hyunjin was incredibly adamant on going as far as we could. The sun was setting. It’d been _hours_. Shockingly, nobody was really complaining. The other girls were having scattered conversations, sure, but god I just wanted to sit down. My legs were burning. Haseul was leading the group of us alongside Hyunjin, and kept trying to act as the rationalization that Hyunjin obviously wasn’t’ capable of. It wasn’t really working. Hyunjin was impervious.

“Oh my Goddddd.” Finally, and as I would’ve expected, Yeojin was the first to verbally protest. She’d slumped over and started walking so slow that she trailed all the way back to Jungeun and I. I actually had to gently push her along from behind just to keep her going. A bit dramatic, but relatable nonetheless. “Hyun _jin_. What the _fuck_. Can we _please_ stop _walking_.”

Haseul looked over her shoulder at her complaining sister, “Stop swearing. Just cuz the world ended doesn’t mean you can swear all willy nilly.”

Yeojin scoffed, “Oh for fuck’s sake, Haseul, what’re you gonna do, ground me?”

Haseul glared, “Yeah maybe I will! Stop it!”

Hyunjin responded to Yeojin’s question, “We aren’t stopping. There’s still light.” She insisted as if automatically.

“Are you kidding??” Yeojin asked, looking sort of like her legs were about to give out - not even from exhaustion but as a form of childish protest. “It’s been _hours_ , this is _child abuse_.”

Yerim laughed weakly, “I’d offer to piggyback you, but I think I’d collapse.”

Yeojin wrapped her arms around the peppy girl scout’s middle and squeezed her so tight she sputtered, “Shush, you aren’t the problem here. Hyunjin, we’ve gotta stop. Yerim is tired too.”   
  


I sighed, “We’re _all_ tired...”

Vivi interjected in her soft voice, “We don’t need to stop for a long time. Just a bit. To catch our breath. We can keep going after. Maybe...”

Hyunjin grumbled something under her breath in frustration, “But... ugh.”

“Look, see that building over there? It looks like a warehouse or something. It’d be a good place to stop, Hyun. Being out in the open on this road is risky...” Jungeun said, not asserting it or commanding us, but leaving it open. The only one who didn’t want to stop was Hyunjin.

“What if it’s dangerous though?” Hyunjin offered up. Okay, that was kinda a low blow.

“Everything’s dangerous. We can’t let that stop us or we’ll be walking forever. It’s not good for us to be this tired...” I insisted gently.

_**Hyunjin** _

“Fine. _Fine_. We can stop.” I told them grudgingly, wanting more than anything to keep going. I knew that wasn’t rational though. It wasn’t these guys’ fault that they didn’t have the stamina of a literal athlete. They were all so tired. And If I was being totally honest, I was tired too. It’d been hours and hours. I took a deep breath and changed our course, heading to the warehouse Jungeun pointed to.

“Thank _fuck_.” Yeojin piped up from behind us. Haseul slapped her, but I doubted the girl would stop swearing. She was getting too much of a kick out of it.

The warehouse was only a short walk away. Nobody else said a single word, probably having the feeling that I’d change my mind on a dime. They were a bit more scared of me than I think they should’ve been. I wasn’t totally irrational, at least not yet. I just needed to find Heejin, and this island finally put me back on that track.

When I tried the front doors of the warehouse, it was locked. Oh. Great. It was sort of in the middle of nowhere. There were a few cars scattered around its attached lot, but besides that, there weren’t any signs that this damn place was even in use anymore. I tugged on the handles a bit harder, rattling the lock around, but the doors were metal and heavy. Even I couldn’t bust that open.

“Locked, huh?” Jungeun asked gently, feeling the need to try the door herself. It obviously didn’t budge. “Maybe there’s another way in. The sun’s about to set. We should really get inside... c’mon.” She took the initiative in leading the way, heading around the side of the building to the back. We all followed silently. I gripped my machete a bit tighter with both hands.

There was a car crashed straight into the back of the building. It’d been abandoned, but there was splattered blood on the front seat and the doors were all left ajar. It’d chipped the wall a little bit. Yikes. Rough crash. There weren’t any survivors from it in sight, but no bodies in the car either.

“How about that window?” Jinsol offered, pointing up at one. It looked like it’d shattered, from what I couldn’t really tell. Maybe the car hitting the wall had done it or something? It was in reach, if you stood on the car’s dented ass hood. Not the worst idea.

“Yeah. C’mon, I’ll help boost Yeojin up.” I vaulted onto the hood first. It was sturdy enough. I just wanted this to go as fast as possible. Maybe we could get on the road again once people caught their breath. I wasn’t betting on it, but I could hope.

“What?? I can get up myself--” She started to protest but I didn’t let her finish. Whatever argument she was about to start would be a waste of time. I just grabbed her and lifted her into my arms. My god she was lightweight. We needed to get some food in her or something. I quickly lifted her onto the sill, which she grabbed with her tiny hands and lifted herself over. Haseul frantically followed, not needing my help. Pretty soon we’d all clammored inside, landing atop concrete and a bunch of shattered glass.

This place already looked huge on the outside, but it somehow seemed even bigger once you were in it. There were giant shelves in rows that reached almost up to the ceiling, and from where we were standing that seemed to be all that was in there. They were lined with all sorts of things, mainly boxes of varying sizes. I didn’t know what was in them, but only a few looked tampered with, and they were the ones on the lower shelves. If anyone else had the idea to get supplies in here, they either hadn’t had the time or the patience to look up any higher. Which was good for us.

“Whoa. Look at all those boxes! They’re probably full of stuff!!” Yerim exclaimed happily, bouncing up and down, “Maybe they have medical supplies! O-or weapons!” She moved toward one of them and grabbed the lid, but it was nailed shut. She didn’t seem discouraged by it, instead just trying to lift harder. At least she was enthusiastic still. I hoped it stayed that way.

“Yerim wait, don’t get far.” Haseul grabbed the girl’s arm and pulled her closer to the rest of us, “And lower your voice. We don’t know what’s in here.” She was right. But I had an idea about that.

Without another word, I moved and grabbed firmly onto the side of one of the shelves. They were a fair distance apart from one another height-wise, but I could climb it with relative ease if I could get enough of a grip. Vivi gasped weakly once she spotted what I was doing, “Hyunjin! Be careful!!” I didn’t address the warning, knowing my own limits and that this was well within them.

Damn, it was really high up on top. It felt sort of unstable actually, but I stood upright regardless and had a pretty good bird’s eye view of the whole place. It was getting dark out fast, and the only scarce light was streaming in from the windows: power was out here too. I’d only been up there for a few seconds, but that was all I needed to realize we were in deep shit. Again.

There were infected in here. A fair amount of them. I didn’t have time to count. A few had gathered by the front doors, they’d probably heard all my rattling, but others were just sort of wandering. When we’d just been talking, we’d been quiet, but not whispering. And I think it’d been loud enough for them to at least sort of hear. Shit. I was safe up here, I didn’t think they were smart enough to climb, but that was the furthest thing from my mind. No, what I was worried about were the three infected I spotted coming up the aisles straight toward the window we’d come through.

I frantically dove down, leaning my head over the edge and gesturing frantically for the girls to hide and be quiet. They understood my hectic charades, but they didn’t have many places to go. The infected weren’t running, just sort of shambling along in the vague direction they’d heard some noise, but even that was so dangerous. All the girls could think to do was press themselves against the ends of the shelves, or around the sides, stressed and not quite wanting to separate and not even properly knowing where the threat was coming from. Oh Jesus. That wasn’t enough. But there was no time. Like, literally no time. This had all happened in a matter of seconds.

Vivi only had enough time to try and duck beneath a shelf, but couldn’t quite fit. The infected reached the end of the isle and spotted her struggling. Jungeun and Haseul had rounded around the shelf’s other side, so they didn’t see the struggle. Shit shit _shit_. I wondered if I should try to climb down, or something, but there was just no _time_. Vivi panicked when the infected’s hands latched onto her shoulders. She tried to squirm from its grip, fumbling, and I prayed so _desperately_ that Jungeun would get there in time, or Jinsol, or _someone_ , but then a gun went off.

It was loud. Really fucking loud. The sound resonated off the walls and was followed by a chorus of infected growls from all over the warehouse. Oh shit. Vivi had accidentally pulled the trigger on her pistol. She’d shot the thing in the gut, it was dead, and it slumped to the floor, but we had way bigger problems to deal with now.

Two had been in the aisle next to where Yerim and Yeojin were hiding. At first, the two girls had been out of sight, but from the shot both the infected had turned to stare dead at them. Fuck. They were smart, thank god, and they realized the danger and took off running. They rushed to the other side of the warehouse blindly, going down the aisle I was overlooking. Yerim shot me a desperate look as she sprinted past, two infected chasing after them, and before I even had a moment to think, my instincts had me moving.

I pushed against one of the heavy ass boxes I was near, shoving it off the shelf with only minor difficulty. It landed smack dab in the middle of the aisle, literally crushing one of the infected but startling the other. It gave Yeojin and Yerim enough time to get a bit further away, and that was all that mattered. The one I’d startled was now just interested in me, though, and it spotted me atop the shelf. It angrily started pushing against the bottom of it, trying to topple it over. By itself, it didn’t have much leverage, but pretty soon the ruckus it was making drew a few more. All three of their strength was making the shelf tilt, I felt it, and I had next to no time to react before this thing toppled.

The shelf finally started to tilt, and in absolute blind desperation, I leapt to the next one. My primal, survival instincts were more in charge than my thoughts were, and in my head, it was the only thing that didn’t involve my ankles breaking or my skull cracking open on concrete. The distance was risky. I missed the top shelf of it when I tried to get a grip and landed unforgivingly onto the one beneath it, crashing against the metal and slamming my side against a hard wooden box. Fuck, that was gonna bruise. But at least I kept my bones intact.

Now that I had at least a few seconds to get my bearings, I staggered to my feet and looked around. The shelf tipped, _hard_ , and it really wasn’t my lucky day. It hit the one I stood on, like a sort of domino effect. Fuck. It started to tip too. I desperately jumped to the next one, hating this leap frog shit but not having much of an option. The landing was just as rough as the last, and my ribs felt like someone had hit them with a baseball bat, but still. Not dead. When the second shelf started to tip, I just braced myself, not quite having another jump in me.

The shelf hit hard, and I felt the one I laid on start to fall. Tensing up, I hooked my hands tightly around the shelf’s edge as it tipped further, faster, but then finally stopped. Oh. It’d run out of shelves to knock down, slamming instead into one of the concrete walls. Some of the boxes slid off and fell to the floor, splitting apart slightly from the drop, but I tightened my grip and struggled to stay put. Too. Fucking. Close.

I lowered myself cautiously to the ground, having dropped my machete in all my desperate jumping. It was in the next aisle, but I needed to take a second to catch my breath. My ribs still ached, and my adrenaline was pumping so fast I was shaking. It had still probably been less than a minute. Jungeun and the others had taken off, but I couldn’t see anyone from where I stood. Shit, I had to help. I was disoriented, I didn’t even know where Yerim or Yeojin could’ve gone, and now I was on a whole other side of the warehouse.

  
  
  


_**Jungeun** _

After Vivi fired that shot, everything went to shit. I wanted to try and grab Yeojin and Yerim, but when I poked my head out to try and find them, there were already five or so infected in the way. Shit. I barely had a chance to latch onto the back of Vivi’s coat and pull her to me before rushing in the opposite direction. I didn’t know where I was going, all I knew was we needed to get the fuck out of there.

I rushed through the first door I saw. We didn’t have time to think or consider alternatives, or to climb up a shelf like Hyunjin. I didn’t know where Yeojin and Yerim were. I didn’t know if Hyunjin was okay above us. There was too much chaos, and I hated not being able to see how they were doing, but I had to prioritize the people I could see, and keep _them_ safe.

We rushed into what must’ve been some sort of break room. There were scattered tables, a busted up vending machine in the back, and - of fucking course - three infected. Shit. Haseul, Vivi, and Jinsol were right on my tail, as well as the infected from outside, so we didn’t have much of a choice but to slam the door behind us and deal with what we’d run into.

Vivi and Haseul did their best to keep that door closed by pressing themselves against it. It was just a swinging door with no real latch, so before we could push something in front of it we just had to use our bodies as desperate barricades. Jinsol readied her knife, trying to help me out with the infected. Her stance was good. Better than before. No time to be proud of that, though, because two charged at me and one charged her. My standards had gotten so low that I was just grateful it hadn’t been the other way around.

I slammed my rifle into one of their legs, not wanting to pull the trigger and lure even more of them straight to us. The blow was hard enough for it to sprawl to the floor, and although I felt it bite my boot, I knew that its teeth weren’t strong enough to actually penetrate the leather. While it was distracted I lifted a nearby flimsy chair into my hands with relative ease and slammed it into the other one that rushed me, sending it staggering into a table and knocking itself over.

A literally earth-shaking crash audible from back in the warehouse made my ears ring. I heard it, but didn’t let it distract me while I kept dealing with the infected. I let my eyes flit to Jinsol for just a moment, just in time to catch a glimpse of her sinking her blade deep into the infected’s chest. The one chomping on my boot finally seemed to figure out it wasn’t making any progress, but before it could sink its teeth into my calf I lifted my foot and stomped its skull in.

“Fuck, what was that noise?!” Jinsol exclaimed frantically.  
  


“Sounded like something big fell!” Haseul spoke from over my shoulder. The infected charged at me again and I didn’t have time to contribute or even listen properly.

“The shelves?!” Vivi suggested. She was probably right. Only something as heavy as those would’ve made a crash like that. I shoved the infected off, trying to buy myself some time to listen.

Jinsol realized something before I could. “Shit, Hyunjin!!” She was right. Hyunjin had been on top of those shelves. Fuck.

Suddenly another sound audibly pierced the air. A scream. From what sounded like Yeojin. God _damn_ it could this get _any_ worse? I tried to look over my shoulder, see what was going on, but the infected was on me again and almost took a chunk from my neck just from my second of distraction.

“Haseul wait!” Jinsol exclaimed.

I pulled back, ramming the butt of my rifle straight against its nose. It staggered. Still not dead. The sound of infected straining against the door had stopped. They must’ve been drawn away from that huge crash. Or maybe from Yeojin’s scream. Neither of those things were good.

“Wait--” Vivi spoke frantically, sounding incredibly dismayed, “Junguen!!”

“What?!” I shoved the asshole off its feet while it was off balance and finally brought my rifle against its face again and again until it was nothing more than a bloody dent. Fuck. Finally.

“T-They ran off!!”

“Huh?!” I spun around finally, and sure enough, the door was open and Haseul and Jinsol were nowhere to be seen. _Shit_. Haseul must’ve rushed off to find Yeojin. And Jinsol must’ve gone after her. No no _no_ , this was all falling apart so fucking fast, we’d been in this room for like thirty seconds. I couldn’t get a grip on things no matter how hard I was trying. But we needed to stick _together_. I rushed out the door at full speed, Vivi following close behind.

Bad timing. More and more bad timing. All we managed to do was run straight into the infected who’d previously been pounding at the door. There were four. And I’d only just barely managed to fend off two.

**_Vivi_ **

_“Shoot!”_ Jungeun shouting suddenly at me, snapping me out of my state of paralyzing fear and into action. With hands that still slightly trembled, I aimed my pistol as best as I could at the infected already closing the space, and pulled the trigger.

My first bullet hit a shoulder, which wasn’t enough to stop their rapid approach. Jungeun started to unleash absolutely deafening automatic fire from her rifle, which decimated one’s leg into nothing and pummeled unforgivingly against another’s chest. But her clip quickly emptied. I shot again, aiming a bit more carefully, and managed to down the closest one with a shot right to its cheek. It fell forward, the corpse almost slamming into me, but I just barely sidestepped out of the way. The last one was virtually unharmed and riled up from all the noise. It was practically on me before I could think, but Jungeun was on it - grappling it from behind and holding it still.

“ _Get it!_ ” She shouted out desperately, and I listened, putting a bullet right between its eyes - thankful that its head was higher than Jungeun’s and that she was nowhere near getting hit. Oh jeez. If I’d accidentally shot her I’d never forgive myself.

She tossed the fresh body to the floor, out of breath with her rifle slung onto her back now. She hadn’t tried to reload it. Was she out of ammo? My chest tightened, but she didn’t give me time to process that newly added danger. Instead she turned on her heel and took off running - resuming our pursuit of the others. I forced myself to get my bearings and follow suit. Haseul and Jinsol were still in trouble. Not to mention Yeojin.

  
  
  


_**Yeojin** _

I thought I was being smart when Yerim and I hid so fast after Hyunjin told us to. It wasn’t our fault we got unlucky, and Vivi just so happened to shoot that damned gun. We were in the clear until that happened. Then two of them had their sights set on us. Hyunjin saved our asses for a sec by pushing that box down, and I thought we were in the clear, but one spotted me as we burst out from the aisles of shelves. It’d actually almost grabbed the back of my shirt as I went past, but I yelped and literally leapt forward so it just missed. Fuck, I needed to get some distance. It’d catch up.

One side of the warehouse had built in shelving in the walls that went back pretty deep, but were short. For once I was grateful to be short.

Yerim had gotten a bit of a head start, and when she reached the shelves she took a sharp left to try and run to the front of the warehouse instead. The infected that was following me was too close for comfort, though, so I took my chance and dove straight into a small opening on that lower shelf - ducking low but still needing to squeeze just to fit. I was sort of smushed between two boxes. This shelf wasn’t actually as deep as I’d thought. Oh, _great_.

The thing shoved its freaky zombie hand right in at me, swiping for my legs. I wasn’t safe enough. If it got smart and pushed one of these boxes aside, it could get a solid grip on me and pull me right to its gnashing teeth. Alright, perhaps this wasn’t my best plan. It was sorta too late now, though.

“Fuck _off!!”_ I tried to kick it, just to get it away, but it suddenly got a firm grip on my sneaker and literally tugged it from my foot. “Rude!!” I kicked harder, even if it was just my sock, ramming my heel into its nose. It recoiled for a few seconds, but then just came back even angrier. It latched onto my ankle again and I couldn’t help but shriek, squirming away as frantically and desperately as I could.

“Get _off_ her!!” Yerim exclaimed desperately, and before I knew it, a bat was slammed straight into the zombie’s temple so hard its skull nearly split. It sprawled to the floor, bleeding, either dead or too hurt to get up. She reached in to me, trying to clasp my hand and pull me to her, but that was when _another_ zombie tackled her to the floor. God damn it how fucking many were in here?!

“ _Yerim!_ ” Without so much as a second though, I lunged out from the shelf, ramming my entire body weight against the zombie’s side. It barely budged. A buff zombie. Great. She’d dropped her bat. I scrambled to heft it into my hands, but someone else beat me to the punch. It was Haseul. God, I’d never been happier to see her.

She was on that infected in a literal second - her first priority being to get it away from Yerim. She swung the bat against its side, knocking it off, and I frantically helped the rattled girl scout to her feet. Haseul brought that bat down again and again. I heard more than a few bones snap. She was in some sort of protective trance, needing to make sure that zombie was like, 10000% dead I guess, but she didn’t notice the other infected charging her from behind.

“Haseul!” Yerim tried to warn her, and she staggered to her feet to help, but it turned out she didn’t need to bother.

Jinsol hadn’t been far, and just as that infected collided with Haseul and poised itself to sink its teeth right into her neck, she’d grabbed it by its coat and pulled it back. Her knife sank straight into its spinal cord and it cried out in pain, squirming all around. Before it had a chance to recover Jinsol stabbed it again, higher up that time. Ouch. She tossed its still twitching corpse to the floor, all of us incredibly out of breath. Honestly all these brushes with death were getting a little old. I wordlessly moved to slip my stolen sneaker back on.

“Are you okay??” Haseul unsurprisingly latched onto me once she realized the immediate danger was gone, trapping me in her arms and squeezing so hard I almost puked. “ _Please_ tell me it didn’t bite you., Yeojin-ah, _please_ \--”

“--I-It didn’t bite me, Yerim came and--”

Haseul suddenly let me go, instead reaching over and pulling Yerim flush against her instead, “Are _you_ okay?” She pulled me to her too, hugging the both of us in near choke-holds, “I _love_ you two, y-you _need_ to be more careful, _stick with me_ , I-I can keep you safe.”

I rolled my eyes, “I love you too...” She squeezed me extra tight from the confirmation I mumbled so softly.

Before Yerim could presumably repeat the same sentiment, which I was positive she would, there were gunshots. A whole assortment of them blared from the other side of the warehouse. Some sounded like a pistol’s and some sounded like Jungeun’s rifle. At least that meant Vivi and Jungeun were alive enough to shoot guns, but it did mean they were in danger. Haseul reluctantly let Yerim and I go.

“Shit, should we--” Jinsol spoke up, still just trying to catch her breath.

“--Guys!!” Hyunjin’s welcome voice caught all of our attention. She emerging from near a bunch of collapsed shelving, machete in hand and dripping with fresh blood. Even more of it was splattered on her clothes and forearms. Jesus Christ, how many infected had she just disemboweled all on her own??? She was basically a killing machine. She could probably break me in half if she wanted, which was _so_ cool. “You okay...? Are there more?” She seemed pretty winded too. If _she_ was tired, _we_ sure as fuck had every right to be.

“I-I don’t know, those shots--” Haseul started to explain, looking over to where the sound had come from. That was when Jungeun and Vivi emerged from behind some shelves, looking thankfully intact. Holy shit. Had we really all survived this? I mean, I was glad, obviously, but I was starting to just wait for our luck to run out. Like seriously what the hell. Statistically we all should’ve been dead like a thousand times over.

“Thank _God_ , guys, are you okay? Hurt?” Jinsol spoke up in concern, stepping a bit closer. Jungeun didn’t look too happy though. Uh-oh. Vivi got close and hugged me tightly, which I accepted but made brief. I wanted to witness whatever drama was about to happen.

Jungeun walked right up to Haseul first and foremost, but made sure to let her intense gaze flit back and forth between she and Jinsol, “ _Neither_ of you run off like that. _Neither_ of you.” She seemed pissed, but not just from being angry. From being worried, too. Damn, her eyes were almost glossy.

“We’re okay--” Jinsol tried to gently speak up, being tactful about what was going on. None of us had ever seen Jungeun that unhinged before. It was weird and I wasn’t a fan. I also didn’t get where it was coming from.

Jungeun stepped closer, her voice raising, “--You could’ve fucking _died_ , th-this is the stuff you let _me_ do, okay?? _I_ do this, o-or Hyunjin, _not_ you two.” She actually stuttered. Twice. Whoa. She’d said all that so frantically and fast. Hell, _I_ was actually starting to worry about _her_.

A silence spread among all of us. It was tense with confusion, sure, but it was also a confirmation that there must not have been any more zombies in there or else they would’ve heard all the yelling. Hyunjin was the one to actually take initiative, stepping slightly toward the distraught soldier. “Jungeun, relax...”

Jungeun just blinked rapidly for a few moments, before taking a deep breath and walking a bit away from the rest of us. Okay. Guess she needed to cool off? Or something? Whatever. I just cared that we were all safe, and that I was so tired I was ready to fall over.

“Um... right...” Yerim muttered, audibly confused.

“Should I--” Jinsol already started to walk toward Jungeun, but Haseul gently clasped her hand and held her in place.

“No. She just needs a minute I think. It was too close, that’s all...” She frowned, running a hand down her face.

Hyunjin sighed heavily, “There’s no more in here. I dealt with the others. I say we all turn in. I’m about to pass the fuck out.” Thank god. I thought she was gonna pull some bullshit and try to make us walk some more.

“There’s a break room back there. We could push something in front of the door, i-if we wanted to be extra safe.” Jinsol suggested, still seeming like she wanted to go and retrieve Jungeun. She didn’t, though. No, she stayed put with the rest of us.

“Please, lead the fucking way.” I sleepily begged. Haseul was so tired she didn’t even tell me not to swear.

  
  


_Meanwhile, on a rural dirt road..._

_**Hyejoo** _

We’d been biking forever. I wasn’t the most physically active person, so this was a bit much for me. Jiwoo was leading the way, and although I’d been in the middle at first, I was taking up the back now. We’d all slowed down quite a lot from when we’d set out. Biking for hours and hours will do that do you.

The sun had set by then. The only light we had was from the moon and stars. I was staring at Sooyoung’s back for most of this ride, she was right in front of me, clinging loosely to the bike seat she was perched on. Her head had started to loll on her neck and she seemed all limp. She wasn’t even pedalling, so the only reason she had to be tired was from blood loss. Which was pretty worrying.

“H-Hey,” Sooyoung’s weak voice unexpectedly broke this prolonged silence. It was almost drowned out by the sounds of our bike wheels turning and the tires crunching against dirt. “That field. Let’s stop.” She pointed to our side. Chae nodded obediently, changing the course of our bikes to ride straight through the grass.

Once we were far enough in, Jiwoo stopped and set her bike on the ground. I did the same, glad I could finally stop all that endless pedalling. My legs were practically numb. At last we’d gotten far away from Jiwoo’s town. We hadn’t seen a single infected for hours, and damn was that nice. It sort of made me uneasy, though. Then again almost everything made me uneasy.

  
“Is this safe...?” I spoke up cautiously, laying my bike down on its side too.

Chae hopped enthusiastically from hers, using the bike’s kickstand unlike the rest of us. Sooyoung hefted herself down to the ground with a small grunt of effort, “I... dunno.” That wasn’t the answer I expected at all. I also didn’t expect her to literally slink down to all fours and then lay down on the grass face-up, slowly reaching to her wound and pressing her hand against it with a small grimace.

“Sooyoung? Are you okay?” Chae unbuckled her helmet and quickly knelt down, moving to rest Sooyoung’s head on her lap. She looked down at her fondly, “You look sleepy.”

“You can say that again.” Sooyoung muttered out, her eyes still open but lidded.

Chae smiled adorably to herself, “You look sleepy.” I couldn’t help but giggle at her antics, which only made her grin ear-to-ear at me. How was she literally the sweetest person on earth...?

“You look hurt.” Jiwoo corrected, bringing us all back to harsh reality. She sat at Sooyoung’s other side and gently pulled up the hem of her shirt, inspecting the bandage. “What if this wasn’t enough, Sooyoung...?”

Sooyoung tried to bat her hand away, but didn’t seem to have enough energy to do so effectively. “I’m just tired from losing the blood. I’ll feel better after some rest.” Her eyes were fluttering. She was struggling to stay awake.

Jiwoo reached up and gently brushed some of Sooyoung’s hair from her face, “It’s been a long day. You deserve some rest...” Her hand lingered on Sooyoung’s cheek, “You feel sort of clammy...” Clammy wasn’t good. Jiwoo sounded worried, and now I was too.

Sooyoung was like, a solid 80% asleep by that point. I wondered if she was even listening to us anymore, but she actually did respond to Jiwoo’s question, “Just... sleepy.” Okay, that didn’t quite explain the claminess though.

“How much blood did you lose, angel...?” Jiwoo questioned gently. I looked up at her from the unanticipated term of endearment she’d used for Sooyoung. It was sweet.

“Not... too much. I’m fine. Let’s just...” Sooyoung didn’t even finish her sentence. Instead, her eyes finally closed all the way.

I felt a panic start to rise in my chest, moving to kneel down at Sooyoung’s other side, “S-She’s just asleep, right? She just fell asleep??” I couldn’t keep how panicked I was from my voice. I was so scared to lose her. To lose any of them. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.

Jiwoo reached with slightly trembling hands to check the pulse on Sooyoung’s wrist, leaving me in suspense for only a moment, “Yeah. She’s fine. Exhausted, but fine...” She leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on Sooyoung’s forehead. The older girl was already in a deep sleep, totally unfazed by the contact.

Despite that, my chest was still intensely tight. “B-But we’re out in the open, i-is this safe??” I was just so scared things would fall apart again. I wasn’t ready to fight. I was just _tired_.

Jiwoo took an audible breath, looking at our surroundings with new focus, “The grass is sort of high... if we lay the bikes down, I doubt anything will even know we’re here.” She looked toward Chae, who nodded and gently set Sooyoung’s head on the grass instead of her lap. She kicked out her bike’s kickstand and laid it flat.

I just sat and watched, not quite able to stop how fast my heart was beating as I came down from how quickly my panic had started to set upon me. God, what would we even do without Sooyoung? She was so important. She kept us safe, she knew what to do, what to say, how to fight. We’d all probably be dead without her. And I’d just... be _devastated_ if she died all because of us.

Without saying anything else, we all laid down in the grass. There were crickets chirping. If I wasn’t so potently aware of the danger we were always in nowadays, I would’ve almost been able to trick myself into thinking that I was just laying outside and stargazing like I used to sometimes do. It was quiet. Peaceful. I was actually about to doze off, until Chae suddenly scooted over and cuddled against my side. My heart skipped a beat. I didn’t protest, I was just startled. She still didn’t say a word. Her breath was even and slow. From what I could tell, everyone was asleep except me.

“I wish I met you when things weren’t like this...” Chae spoke up out of nowhere, her voice was so airy and soft it almost lulled me to sleep all on its own. Her hand rested gently on my middle, pulling me closer to her.

“Me too.” I spoke without even slight hesitation.

Another calming silence spread. I dared to reach and gently clasp the hand still resting against me, intertwining our fingers together. She spoke again, sounding wistful, like she was missing things that hadn’t even happened. “We could’ve just... hung out, and watched movies and stuff. Without all this.”

Instead of dwelling on the fact that we hadn’t had the chance, I decided to let my mind just wander, “We could get ice cream.”

She didn’t miss a beat, her mind presumably preoccupied with fantasies of easier times too. “Or go to the park.”

“Or play video games.”

“Or pet dogs.”

“Or cook together.”

“Or have slumber parties.”

I sighed happily, not even noticing the smile that’d spread to my face from all this. “....yeah.” I squeezed her hand gently, “I’m still so glad I met you. Even if it is late.”

Chae nodded weakly against my shoulder, where her head now rested, “Some day we’ll do all that... ok?”

My smile faded. I didn’t have it in me to say so, but I _really_ didn’t believe her. Why should I...? What were the odds of that? This island was some desperately needed hope, sure, but if I was being entirely honest I just didn’t want to put too much stock in it being real. I was so scared. What if it wasn’t? What if it was another dead end? Eventually, we’d either run out of places to flee to, or we’d die. My chest got tight again. “If you say so...”

She didn’t hesitate, “It’s _gotta_ be better somewhere. It just has to be. I really think that.” I stayed quiet. I didn’t have it in me to lie, even if it’d make her feel more reassured. “I promise you, Hyejoo. Even if you don’t believe it, I will for the both of us.”

I didn’t say anything else. I just pulled her closer to me, and she nestled her head into the crook of my neck. I wished I could hope, like she did. I was just too scared to have it all pulled out from under me. Like always, she was the braver one. It was brave to hope. More than anything I just wanted her to be safe, to survive, more than I even wanted to. I... didn’t let myself think about that anymore. I just played with the strands of her hair, not letting myself doze off until I was sure she was already asleep

_(fanart drawn by twitter user<https://twitter.com/tamaraWEH> )_

_**Jiwoo** _

I shot awake, a nightmare pulling me from restless sleep. My eyes burned with tears. I’d had to fight off my own parents, infected, lifeless, unrecognizable. Shit. It was absolutely fucked, but somehow, I was glad they’d gone the way they did. I wouldn’t have been able to... hurt them, even if they were trying to eat me alive. I caught my breath, realizing after a few lingering moments that we were still in that field, that it was just a dream, and I buried my face into my hands. This just didn’t end, did it? My whole body was shaking. I wasn’t coping. I was just burying it all.

And there was something that hadn’t left my mind ever since I crossed the threshold into my parents’ room and saw their cold bodies on that bed: where was Jungeun? Why wasn’t she with me to help, to keep me safe, to just fucking _be_ there? Why wasn’t she there to be with her dad in his last moments? To say what would probably be our last goodbye to the town we spent most of our lives? To the place where we’d met each other and grown up together? Why wasn’t she there? Did she just not care? About it, about _me?_ I didn’t get it. I still didn’t. I wasn’t sure I ever would. The bitterness in my chest was new and I hated it. I didn’t want to feel it toward Jungeun - my best friend for most of my life - but I couldn’t deny that it was there.

Hyejoo stirred, probably from all my audible, uneven breathing. She sat up slowly, making sure not to disturb Chae - who was practically entangled with her. She seemed a bit too tired to enter her panicky mode, but she was startled and nervous about why I was suddenly awake.

“What? Is everything okay??” She whispered to me, eyes wide. She reached for her fireplace poker that rested near her bike.

I nodded, “Yeah, yeah, just... bad dream. It’s fine.” Despite how careful she’d been, Chae poked her head up, hair adorably messy in the back and blinking unevenly. “It’s okay. We’re safe.” I told her before she could ask, though she didn’t look too concerned anyway. She gave me a vague thumbs up before adjusting herself so her head was on Hyejoo’s lap and shutting her eyes again.

I looked to Sooyoung, who was out cold. Curious and worried, I gently placed the back of my hand against her forehead. Her skin was still sort of clammy. I didn’t like this. We needed to get her some better help, but I just didn’t know how. She looked peaceful, sleeping like that. I let myself stare at her face and her elegant features for a bit longer than I normally would’ve.

Suddenly she flinched, and her hand shot up to catch my wrist. I gasped, startled the abrupt movement and her tight grip. She sat up frantically, needing to take a few seconds to realize where we were.

“Whoa, whoa, Sooyoung,” Hyejoo spoke up, “It’s okay.”

Her wide eyes looked around quickly, but as soon as they landed on me, her tenseness seemed to totally dissipate and her expression softened. She let go of my wrist, instead moving to weakly put her hand against her wound like she’d started to do so often. I didn’t like it. She’d only do that if it was bothering her, right?

“I didn’t mean to wake you...” I told her, watching as she struggled to stand. I got to my feet too, worried about her moving too much.

“It’s okay. I’m up, that’s what matters.” That was a very dismissive Sooyoung thing to say, and it was comforting, weirdly enough. She better not go back to thinking she could do everything herself, though. No, I’d have absolutely no patience for that “I’m tough” routine when she had a huge gash in her stomach. There was no place for that.

Chae yawned exaggeratedly and stretched herself out like a starfish, almost accidentally punching Hyejoo in the face, but she didn’t even notice. “Moooorning.” She cooed, sitting up and rubbing at one of her eyes with a tiny fist. Hyejoo was looking at her like she was the only person in the entire world. “Are we gettin’ ready to bike?” She stretched a little bit more before getting to her feet with a chorus of sleepy grumbles. Hyejoo slowly followed suit.

Sooyoung nodded. Thank god. I’d only been in the default “leadership” role for like, five minutes the night before and I’d nearly broken down. It was hard. Definitely not for me. “Yeah. I’ll ride with Chae again. We should just get on the road, there’s no real point in hanging around in this field waiting for more of those freaks to find us.” She was already lifting up one of the bikes from the ground, and I noticed the way she subtly grimaced when she bent over.

“I got it,” I surged closer, brushing her away. She didn’t protest. I think she knew I’d kill her if she did. I lifted the bike, the other girls getting the rest. “And by riding with Chae, I’m assuming you mean with Chae pedalling?” I looked at her pointedly, insinuating that this was more of a command than a question, and she couldn’t have missed my implications.

“Yeah. I probably shouldn’t yet.” I wasn’t sure if she added that last part because she genuinely believed it or if she just wanted to satisfy me. Either way it was appreciated.

Hyejoo and I got on our bikes, and I watched carefully as Sooyoung perched herself on the back of Chae’s seat. “Hang onto me!” Chae told her. “I don’t bite!”

Sooyoung subtly rolled her eyes out of Chae’s view and reluctantly wrapped her arms around the blond’s middle. “A rare trait nowadays.”

Chae giggled sweetly from the joke, already starting to pedal out of the field and back onto the dirt road. I caught up, starting to lead the way, since I was the only one who sort of knew it. Sure, this territory was a bit uncharted, but it wasn’t rocket science to figure out how to get to the coast from my town. Sometimes Jungeun would get into an adventurous mood, practically toss me into her dad’s truck and drive the both of us to the beach on a whim. I was usually having too much fun during the ride to remember the route, but I could figure it out.

We didn’t talk much when we were on the bikes. Not that we couldn’t hear each other if we did, I think we all just tended to let our minds wander. So when Hyejoo of all people spoke up in her small, timid voice at my side, I paid attention.

“I heard gunshots last night...” She sounded scared.

I frowned, “Oh.” Had I seriously slept through gunshots? Had _all of us_ seriously slept through _gunshots?_ Damn. We really did need that rest.

  
“It was kinda close by... I wonder if it’s survivors?” She asked gently, curious.

I thought for a few moments, the dirt road turning to more solid pavement beneath our tires. We were on a more main road now. I’d taken us on a shortcut to steer away from highways and stuff just to be extra safe the night before, but we’d found our way back. Which was okay. Based on the radio transmission, the helicopters and stuff would probably go to a more urban place to land. So that was our best bet. Even now, we were still sort of in the middle of nowhere. There was only one building in sight, and it was kinda far off. If I remembered right, there was a mall sort of near here that Jungeun and I would sometimes stop at on the way to the beach, but it was even further away from us.

“Ooooh. Big building!” Chae exclaimed a bit too excitedly, pedalling harder to be ahead of me again. She pointed toward some warehouse, like a little kid on a road trip with nothing better to do.

“Yeah. Big building.” Sooyoung nodded slowly in affirmation, shooting me a look that made me smile.

“Oh. Hang on.” Hyejoo slowed down, and I did too - not wanting us to get too separated. “What if the shots came from there?”

Sooyoung raised an eyebrow, “The gunshots? What, the ones you heard last night?” She seemed unconvinced. And honestly I couldn’t blame her.

Chaewon, however, was fully on board in a heartbeat. “Oh! You’re right!! This is like the only building for a super long way. Whoever was shooting last night might’ve taken shelter in there, I mean, it’s so big!” That wasn’t that much of a reason, but regardless, she was very impressed by the building’s size.

Sooyoung shook her head, “Key word: _might’ve_. We don’t know for sure. Who knows, maybe they were getting chased when they were shooting. They could be miles away by now.” That was also a good point.

Hyejoo pouted slightly, “I think we should check.” It was weird to see her being so assertive. Even still, she seemed slightly uncertain of herself. It wouldn’t take much to dissuade her, and as I was waiting for Sooyoung to do so, I was surprised by her turning her expectant gaze to me. Like my input would decide this. Oh.

“I don’t see why not. We don’t have to go in, what if we just shout from outside?” I offered, already starting to cautiously pedal toward the semi-daunting building. Hyejoo and Chaewon stayed close behind, Sooyoung thus being dragged along with us even if she was against this plan.

I stopped right at the front entrance and propped my bike up against the wall. The doors looked thick. When I reached to tug on one of the door handles, Sooyoung quickly caught my wrist. Oh. Right. That could be risky. I nodded at her in understanding before daring to raise my voice, “Hello? Is anyone in there?” I spoke as clearly and as slowly as I could, not wanting to be misheard. Either way, they’d at least know I wasn’t infected.

“They won’t be able to hear you through the door, it’s such a big building,” Chae explained plainly, brushing past Sooyoung and I to clasp and tug the door handle before we could stop her. It didn’t budge. Oh. It was locked. “Ah, crud.” She crossed her arms in dismay with a pout.

“Maybe there’s another way in?” Hyejoo suggested quietly from the back of the group.

“Why do you wanna find other survivors so badly anyway?” Sooyoung asked, a slightly cold tinge to her tone.

“They might be able to help you. O-Or maybe we can help them. I’m just tired of feeling so damn unsafe all the time.” Hyejoo spoke more clearly and calmly than I think I’d ever heard her speak before. She was serious about this, and I was with her, honestly. We were running on fumes. It wasn’t weak or shameful to admit that we could use some help.

Sooyoung didn’t say anything else. She just followed me wordlessly as I led us around the side of the building. It was pretty baren. No side doors or anything like that, barely any windows even. Until finally, at the back, we found the remnants of a nasty car crash, but more notably a back door. It was small, more flimsy than the front - leading out into an attached lot for parking.

Chae skipped straight to it, muttering the phrase “please don’t be locked, please don’t be locked,” under her breath repeatedly as she got closer. She tugged on the handle. It didn’t budge. Again. “Ughhhhh.”

“Well, th-that doesn’t mean there aren’t people inside. They could’ve just locked the doors so they’d be safe.” Hyejoo suggested. “We should try shouting again. Getting their attention.”

I nodded. Right above where the car had crashed, there was a busted open window. If they were going to hear us at all, we’d be most audible through that opening. “Hey! Hello!! We’re friendly! Is anyone there? We could use some help!” I called out, a bit louder than before, cupping my hand near my mouth to further project my voice.

We all flinched collectively at the sound of a metallic door creaking open, and Sooyoung weakly pushed me behind her. As if she could do much to defend me in her state. Either way, it was sweet she was still trying. Chae, who was closest to the door, physically jumped in surprise with a tiny yelp as she scrambled away.

But then Hyunjin stepped outside.

“Holy shit.” She muttered in awe, eyes wide. Her jaw had dropped, but so had all of ours. There was no way. Literally what were the odds of this...? I didn’t even want to let myself believe it, wondering if maybe my eyes were playing some sort of cruel trick on me. It sure looked like Hyunjin. And it sounded like Hyunjin. And when Chae ran up and hugged her tightly, she even reacted like Hyunjin - tensing up in confusion.

“I-I-” Hyejoo stepped closer, seeming to not want to believe it either. “A-Are you with the others? Is Yerim here??” Audible, cautious hope was creeping into her voice.

“Jungeun?” The name slipped past my lips all on its own, my heart having leapt so fast in to my throat it nearly choked me. Sooyoung glanced at me from the corner of her eye. She was staying silent.

Hyunjin pried Chae’s tight grip off of her, “Yeah. We’re all together still, somehow. Haven’t lost anybody, but they’re sleeping. I kept watch... c’mon.” She held that back door open for us, and we all filed slowly in. I could hardly breathe. I couldn’t believe this. Was Jungeun really here? Was I really going to see her again? I doubted it’d ever happen. I wondered if she even wanted to see me.

“Haseul okay?” Sooyoung asked gently. Hyunjin nodded. “Good. I got kinda fucked up, might need some stitches.” Wow. I couldn’t believe she’d admitted that so openly. Maybe she’d finally stop playing off her wound like it was nothing now that we actually had access to the means to properly treat it. That brat. She really had been hiding how bad it was just so we wouldn’t worry. I made a mental note to slap her later.

The warehouse itself was sort of torn apart - some of the shelves knocked over, blood and bodies and shell cartridges scattering the floor. Hyunjin led us to some sort of back room, and finally, after what felt like unbearable suspense, she opened the door.

Everyone was okay. They were all there, even with some new guy I’d never seen before. Most of them had just started stirring awake. Jungeun was already up. She was okay. And as soon as I saw that, as soon as I saw she was alive, unhurt, breathing, I felt relieved, but... detached. Like now that I knew she was okay, that was all I needed. The feeling surprised me.

Jungeun’s entire face lit up, and in what seemed like only a second she was flush against me and I was wrapped tightly in her arms. I hugged her back instinctively, the contact familiar but... it hurt. This felt wrong. And it shouldn’t. I should be happy, glad that I’d reunited with Jungeun, and a part of me was, but another part of me just... _hurt_. Everyone here was okay. I was sure she’d played a huge part in that - in protecting them all so diligently. And again, I just... why hadn’t she wanted to protect me?

I pulled back far before she was done with our embrace. She stayed close despite my withdrawal, staring at my face with almost glossy eyes. She placed her hand on my cheek affectionately and I swear I almost recoiled, but stayed put. “Oh my god. I-I-- Jiwoo, I--”

“I’m fine.” I told her emotionlessly. That was what she needed to hear.

Hyejoo burst into the room and made a beeline straight to Yerim, who had only just started to wake up. I watched as the timid girl latched onto the girl scout so tightly and suddenly that she almost fell over. “Oh!” Yerim exclaimed happily, beaming and hugging Hyejoo back with what looked like equal force. “Hyejoo-yah! It’s so good to see you!!”

I could barely hear Hyejoo as she spoke, “I-It was so scary, Yerim.” My heart wrenched form the fear audible in her small voice.

Yerim frowned slightly, rubbing a soft circle against Hyejoo’s back, “Ahh... it was scary here too. But you’re safe, right? I bet you were really brave-- _oof_ \--” The girl scout was almost knocked off her feet again when Chaewon suddenly added onto the dog pile of a hug that had formed, “--Hi Chae!” The tiny blond didn’t say a word, just squeezed the girl tighter.

Jungeun spoke again, bringing my attention back to her and away from that happy reunion I found myself envious of, “So...? How was home?”

All the air got sucked straight out of the room in an instant. Hyejoo and Chae let Yerim go, instead turning to look right at us. Sooyoung, who’d been hanging back, stepped closer and placed a gentle hand at the small of my back in wordless support. I already felt my composure thinning. There was so much Jungeun still didn’t know. And it was up to me to tell her all of it.

Jungeun wasn’t blind. She noticed the shift in the air. “What...?”

I blinked rapidly, trying to dismiss the burning in my eyes, “It’s... gone. Everything’s gone.” That was all I had in me to say. I couldn’t give her the details. I just... wasn’t ready for that yet, not when I’d barely processed it all myself.

She didn’t seem to understand the vague statement. Either that, or she didn’t want to. “Gone...? Gone how, w-what do you mean?” She stepped closer, her brow furrowing, “Your folks? Are they--” Sooyoung shook her head on my behalf. Jungeun saw. My lip was starting to quiver and I dipped my head low. “No... no way, you’ve gotta be kidding. No. Not them.” I hadn’t expected her to sound so distraught. If she cared that much, why hadn’t she come with me in the first place? I was so upset, so flooded with emotion I damn near asked her, but swallowed it down. “I-I, did you see dad? Was he...?” She was scared of the answer. You could hear it in her voice. That time, I took the liberty of shaking my head. She deserved to hear it from me. It was the least I could do.

And she just... broke.

“No, what? No, n-no, no, he’s... he’s such a hardass, he would’ve gotten out of there.” She almost sounded as if she believed herself.

“Jungeun...” I spoke weakly, gently, not sure if I could manage to comfort her when deep down I still needed _so_ much comfort of my own.

  
“He saved us.” Chae spoke up timidly. Jungeun looked at her, eyes wide, devastation on her face, and Chae just frowned weakly at her.

“I-I don’t... are you serious...?” Her gaze returned to me. I nodded again. “Fuck. _Fuck_.” She sniffled slightly, before brushing past and heading for the door. Hyunjin gently clasped her hand as she passed, but Jungeun shook her off. “ _Just leave me alone._ ” Nobody else could stop her. I knew her the best, and I knew that space would actually be the best for her right now.


	26. Rest Period 4 - An Abandoned Warehouse

**_Sooyoung_ **

“Alright, let’s have a look at this...” Haseul told me gently, reaching to the hem of my shirt and lifting it up to expose my bandage. She unwrapped it with careful hands, grimacing slightly at the sight of the wound. “Yeah. This definitely needs stitches...” Jinsol approached her readily with a first aid kit, like she’d been on call waiting in the wings for her cue. “Of course, there aren’t actually that many medical supplies in this damned place. We only found this first aid kit. It’s got some sutures, thank goodness.”

I nodded, barely even listening. If I was being totally honest with myself, I was scared of needles. And she was threading one right now. I knew she was literally going to slide it through my skin in a second with no real form of numbing, which I was not looking forward to. I needed to be honest about this or I’d faint. “Um, you’re gonna have to distract me.” I spoke softly, watching as she sanitized the needle with alcohol. It was so _pointy._ “I’m... not great with needles.”

  
Haseul nodded in understanding and I was grateful she didn’t make fun. I already felt vulnerable enough, needing to admit that I was seriously hurt and needed help. “A lot of people are. No worries, sweetie. Here,” She gestured across the room to Jinsol, who came over and knelt at our side. Everyone else was out in the warehouse, working on getting boxes down safely from higher shelves and rooting around for supplies. Haseul met Jinsol’s eyes and wordlessly communicated something. The blonde then gently clasped my hand with both of hers, which I wasn’t at all complaining about. “Squeeze her hands if it starts to hurt too bad. And we can do some talk therapy. It’ll distract you from uh, the needle.” I nodded shakily, feeling my whole body tense as I watched that needle edge closer to my torn skin, “And it might help not to stare at it.”

I blinked dumbly, raising my gaze up to match hers just as the cold, sharp metal dug into my flesh. I winced slightly and took the liberty of squeezing Jinsol’s hand, which prompted her to gently run her thumb along the back of mine. Sure, this hurt, and I was kinda tense, but it was leagues better from how fucking terrified and on edge I’d been the entire past few days. I felt so much better now that we were back with the others. I could finally fucking _relax_ , at least a little.

“I realize I actually know next to nothing about you.” Haseul muttered softly, her eyes focused intently on the task at hand, “What’d you do? Before all this?”

I grimaced slightly again, biting my lower lip to brace through the pain. “I was in fashion.”

“Oh! That’s interesting. Did you like it?” This really was just to take my mind off the thread that she was pulling through my skin. I did appreciate it though, and she almost sounded genuinely curious.

“Yeah. Worked my ass to get there. You’re a nurse, obviously.” I added, squeezing Jinsol’s hand unexpectedly again when the needle had to puncture skin. I felt the wound getting closed up, so that was something at least. Haseul nodded cutely with the faintest trace of a proud smile. I tilted my head, looking instead at Jinsol’s strong profile, “What’d you do?”

“Me? Mechanical engineering.” Haseul and I both raised simultaneous eyebrows at that statement, and Jinsol quickly corrected herself, “A student. Just a student in it. _Not_ an engineer yet.”

Damn. Brains and that face? Sort of unfair, but she carried it well. “That might come in handy somehow, right?” Mechanical engineering sure seemed like a useful skill. If I was being totally honest I wasn’t even sure what it encompassed, but I wasn’t about to admit that.

“It hasn't yet.” Jinsol quipped with a charming smile.

“Stop that.” Haseul scolded her gently, and looked up at me when I glanced at her, “She sells herself short a lot.”

  
Jinsol gently scoffed at Haseul’s muttered comment, “Pfft, like you don’t too.”

I shrugged, “Can’t relate.”

We all shared some light laughter, and right as it died out, Haseul pulled the thread taut one last time and snipped it clean. My body untensed. Phew. That’d hurt, but the distraction had really helped. When I went to release my grip on Jinsol’s hand, the blond made sure to give it one last reassuring pat.

“Alright, well, this is as good as it’s gonna get right now...” Haseul gently reapplied the bandage she’d taken off earlier, re-using it instead of wasting a new one. The wound looked a fuck ton better already. God we were lucky to have gotten saddled with a nurse.

“It’s already better.” I told her softly, reaching to gently aim her chin up so that she’d meet my eyes. “Thank you. For real. I owe you, alright?”

“Don’t. It’s my job.” She was quick to deflect my thanks almost before I’d even had a chance to give it. I related to that. I wasn’t good at dealing with the whole gratitude thing either, so I wasn’t going to press her.

“Fine. But I appreciate it.” I watched as she stood, and let she and Jinsol help me to my feet despite not quite needing it.

“Don’t mention it. You got this from protecting those sweet girls out there. They probably wouldn’t have made it back here without you.” Haseul told me softly, like she didn’t want anyone from outside to overhear. Her tone had shifted to a serious, sentimental one. I felt like she was about to give me a community service medal or something. “I just admire it, that’s all.”

I nodded, not sure what else to do, “Feeling’s mutual.” It was true. I really did admire how selfless and caring she was, despite it all. She really had her head on straight, which was something I respected more than almost any other trait nowadays. Haseul just nodded at me with a soft smile before heading out of the room, making sure to brush her hand against mine as she left.

“I admire it too, by the way.” Jinsol spoke up after Haseul was officially out of the room.

“Alright, that’s enough flattery.” I told her jokingly, walking around a bit. The girls had started to gather what useful supplies they’d scrounged from the warehouse into this one space, so I wanted to see what they’d found. Nothing too game-changing, unfortunately. Some food and stuff. “Anything else groundbreaking happen while I was gone?” I asked, not expecting much of an answer.

“No... I mean, Haseul got her wrist cut up, if you didn’t notice.” I had. There were stitches against her porcelain skin, and I’d nearly asked, but restrained the urge. “She and Yeojin uh... lost their dad.” Oh. Shit. I felt my chest tighten. She’d lost her dad, probably only a day or so before, and she was still acting so sweet and gentle toward everyone? God, was she a literal angel? I hated the thought of her coping with that. Jinsol cleared her throat slightly, clearly having experienced a similar empathy that I had from the mentioning of the loss, “I found my brother.”

That explained the random dude who’d been with everyone. I’d nearly recoiled when I saw him. “He better not hit on me.”

Jinsol stifled a laugh, “I don’t think he will?”

I rolled my eyes. I’d dealt with enough men (ew) to be able to predict them pretty well. “He’s probably gonna.”

“You’ve got a big ego, huh?” She walked to be closer to my side, looking at the scattered supplies with me. Her tone had only been mildly sarcastic.

I shrugged. She wasn’t wrong. “It’s not small, no.” She rolled her eyes, but she was still smiling subtly, clearly amused by how cocky I was. It wasn’t like I could help it. “As if you don’t have a big ego too.” I retorted.

The statement threw her for a bit of a loop, “What? I don’t.” I scoffed under my breath at her, which only made her more defensive. “What? Why would I? Do I seem like a dick or something?”

I turned to face her fully, matching her gaze, “No, you just _should_ have a big ego. You look like _that_.”

She blinked a few times at me, adorably confused, “Like what?”

I took the liberty of looking her up and down, taking it in. It definitely wasn’t the first time I’d given her a once over, if I was being honest. And you absolutely wouldn’t blame me if you knew what Jinsol _looked_ like. “Like _hot_.”

Her cheeks lit with a blush. I refused to believe that this bitch hadn’t been called hot so many times she lost count, but she acted surprised pretty well. “I’m--? Uh...” She avoided eye contact like it was toxic now. Oh. Maybe I’d overstepped. Flirting was so second nature to me that I sometimes genuinely didn’t notice I was doing it.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to come on too strong.” I took a step back, giving her some space if she needed it. It seemed like she did.

It was quiet for a few lingering moments. I just kept walking around, looking at what we had, until she finally spoke up in a tone I couldn’t quite read. “It’s... fine.”

“Oh?” I turned on my heel to face her again, wanting to see if I’d be able to read her expression instead, but she quickly turned her back to me - playing it off like she was taking stock of some canned goods.

“Uh, nothing...” If she wanted to leave it alone, I’d let her. She seemed kinda uncomfortable, so I was more than fine with dropping it. I didn’t want to seem like a creep or anything. It was quiet again for a while. Just as I considered leaving the room, maybe going to find Jiwoo or to help with the supply hunt, she caught me off guard by talking again. “Something else happened while you were gone, too.”

I wondered why she’d left it out in her previous recap, “Really? What?”

“Haseul and Jungeun hooked up.”

I nearly sputtered, not sure whether to laugh or gasp and sort of doing a strange combination of both. “Ha! No fucking way.” I just couldn’t picture it, I guess. I tried to, in my head, but it didn’t quite add up. Sweet little Haseul, hooking up with Jungeun. What a scenario.

“Yeah...” Jinsol added that on in a tone that was lower than before. Huh. Interesting. She turned back around to face me, and her expression was different too.

I raised an eyebrow at her. Why was she even telling me this? She didn’t seem like the gossipy type... “What, you jealous or something?” She just stared at me, not saying a word. I think she was a bit uncertain about revealing this. Maybe it was sensitive information or something. Hell, how did she even know? Had she overheard it? Walked in on it or something? Did Haseul tell her? I had a lot of questions, but the first one left me all on its own. “Which one are you jealous of?” She still didn’t say anything - just stared into my eyes. Hard. Okay, whoa. I’d toned the flirting back, but based off the look on her face, I dared to let it resurface. “Or are you just jealous cuz you’re not getting any?”

My blunt statement seemed to snap her right out of her temporary confidence boost, and that smoldering expression dissipated just as quickly as it’d appeared. Damn. “I...” She looked down at her shoes, blushing all over again. I don’t think it was because my flirting made her uncomfortable, though. I think it was because I’d gotten to the root of it, and she was embarrassed. Nothing to be embarrassed about, it was human nature.

“Ohhh, I get it. Just horny, huh?” She still said nothing. I stepped slightly closer, “I can relate.”

She looked up at me ever so slightly, seeming surprised by that. Why should she be? “Really...?”

I nodded without hesitation, “I’m a lesbian literally surrounded by hot girls. So yeah.” It’d been a bit of a struggle. Thankfully all the near-death experiences tended to subdue the urges a fair bit. It was when we were in relatively safe spaces like this that they all crept back up on me and got way harder to ignore. My mind flashed back to the kiss I’d shared with Jiwoo in that dingy bar, and my heart fluttered unfamiliarly just like it had back then.

“Oh...” Her tone was back. She stepped closer, teasing her lower lip slightly between her teeth. My knees felt weak for a second. “Well... it’s just us in here.” She headed to the only door to the room and gently shut it.

I raised an eyebrow at her. “Yeah...” Was she really getting at what I thought she was? I didn’t want to assume, but...

She moved close to me again, “Just... us.” Her eyes were practically smouldering. Okay. Yeah, there was no real way I could be misconstruing the signals she was sending me.

“Right now?” I looked around. I mean... it wasn’t the most ideal setting, and that door didn’t lock to my knowledge. Nobody had come in here in a while. So, we’d probably have time...

“Just... a quick thing.” She was starting to sound almost desperate, now taking her turn to look _me_ up and down. Slowly. All the way. I hadn’t at all expected this. 

The door was shut. But someone could come in at any second to bring in more supplies. If we were going to do this (and I _planned_ to), we really did need to be quick. That was okay. I could make sure she was quick.

I closed the space between us, putting my hands on her hips and lifting her to sit on the edge of the table next to us. Her breath hitched from the contact and she was touching me in an instant, as if she’d consciously been keeping herself back, just waiting for my advance. Her fingers intertwined themselves behind my neck and she pulled me closer, her skin already hot. I tilted my head, not hesitating to kiss her entrancingly long, slender neck, feeling the way she was shaking and feeling the tremors nearly spread to me too.

“Please,” She whispered airly against my ear, her waist already grinding against mine. She was more desperate than I thought, but her plea reminded me of our time frame. Honestly I’d forgotten it for a second, thoroughly distracted by how soft and smooth her skin was and how fast I could feel her heart beating.

I slid my hand past the waistband of her tight jeans without another second’s hesitation, feeling the way her whole body tensed up in preparation, and god I _wished_ we had more time because I could _tell_ she would squirm if I teased her. It was already so risky for us to be going this far, but somehow I think that just made the both of us want to do it even more. To see if we could get away with it. She had almost a mischievous glint behind her dark eyes, like we were breaking some sort of rule and we’d get in trouble if we got caught. It was almost childish - that that was even a concern, all things considered - but the feeling was mutual and relieving. It reminded me of when things were simpler. And no, this was absolutely not the first time I’d fucked a girl with percarious circumstances. And yes, I’d been caught before.

Wanting her to be quick, I didn’t waste any more time before I slid two fingers up into her. She let out a stuttering, high-pitched moan, her back arching against me. Yeah, this wouldn’t take long.

“Shh, sweetie.” I told her softly but with a slight commanding edge to my tone, knowing that our already limited time would only be even shorter if she started making all sorts of noise in here. I could vividly picture Haseul barging in from confusion, wondering if someone was hurt or something. That’d be quite the scenario.

She nodded weakly into my shoulder, her breaths uneven and sharp as I started quickly pumping my fingers, setting an unrelenting pace to push her to the edge as fast as I knew how. She wasn’t prepared for it in the slightest and she wasn’t sure how to cope, her legs curling around my waist and her hands digging into the tresses of my hair. It was like she was hanging on for dear life. I pressed my free hand against the small of her back for what I thought was some much needed support, daring to slip it beneath the hem of her tank top to make contact with more bare skin. She was so fucking _soft_ , it was unreal. Like silk. God, moments like that made me profoundly glad to be a lesbian.

“F-Fffuck--” She whimpered sheepishly, bucking her hips suddenly against my hand. “ _Shit_ , S-Sooyoung--” It seemed like a lot of her previously exhibited confidence had faded away altogether. She seemed almost embarrassed that I’d reduced her down to such a quivering mess so fast, but it was nothing to be ashamed of. I had this effect on most girls, and she was pretty pent up - anyone could tell as much. It was only natural for her to crumble to bits almost immediately. I wasn’t gonna fault her for that.

Almost as if she wanted to compensate for how worked up I’d gotten her, one of her trembling hands reached slowly down to my own waistband, but I caught her wrist. She looked up at me with lidded eyes, confused.

“No time. I last longer.” I told her softly, feeling like that was enough of an explanation. She didn’t protest at all. There was no real point in trying, or in her trying to last longer to prove a point - that’d just be dangerous.

Instead she just melted back against me, hiding her face in the nape of my neck and wrapping her hands around my shoulders. Her nails dug against the thin fabric of my blouse, and although part of me was worried she’d tear the fabric, I didn’t bother telling her to stop. Instead, I pumped my fingers harder into her, wanting her to totally unravel in the palm of my hand, but she was still hanging on by nothing short of a miracle. She was shaking and gasping on every other breath.

“Almost?” I asked her gently, my voice quiet, not trying to pressure her. She needed this, so if we didn’t have to, I didn’t want to cut it short. But there was nothing wrong with some extra communication.

She was rocking her hips in tandem with my fingers by that point, making the table I’d placed her on sway along with her and creak subtly. “I-I... just a-a little more,” She nearly yelped when I dared to move my thumb to a previously ignored bundle of nerves, “-- _fuck_ , fuck, yes--” I placed my free hand against her side, pulling her impossibly closer, enthralled by her quick, frantic breaths.

I pressed my fingers deeper into her, tilting her further back against the table and teasing the taut skin of her neck with my teeth. She threw her head back from the contact, clearly craving more of it, but I wasn’t sure if I should go so far as to leave notable marks. She inferred the uncertainty from my hesitation.

“Mark me,” She whimpered out weakly, her hips bucking against me again and making the flimsy table beneath her jolt. “I-I don’t care, _fuck_ , please mark me, please.” I hadn’t expected the desperation or pure, unfiltered lust in her voice. It made my breath almost hitch.

I wasn’t cautious anymore, instead sinking my teeth into her tanned skin and hearing the way she suppressed another airy moan into my shoulder. It was just a bit louder than it should’ve been. I didn’t blame her, but we still needed to be careful.

“You’ve gotta be quiet...” I told her softly, leaving another mark just beneath her ear so that it may be concealed by her long blonde hair. “Okay? Can you do that for me?” I asked her instead of telling her, having a feeling that she’d respond better to that.

“Yes, y-yes, I-I-- _ah_ ,” She was losing it. It wasn’t hard to tell. Good, we’d already been at it long enough. We were seriously cutting it close. Again, I didn’t want to rush her. “S-Sooyoung, I-I’m-- I’m close, I--” Even as she tried to manage that small statement out, her voice was raising seemingly against her will. No no, we couldn’t have that. I was familiar enough with getting girls to this edge to realize that Jinsol was definitely a screamer, and if she suddenly screamed, she’d probably get everyone out there in the store bursting into the room

Not wanting that, I moved to kiss her to muffle the noise. I pressed my fingers further into her, rubbing a circle with my thumb, and that was the last push she needed. She jolted against my hand at an uneven, hectic pace for a few lingering moments, her whole body clenching around me until she finally dissolved into a quivering, whimpering mess. She was done.

She broke our kiss, totally exhausted and fully collapsing against me. I supported her weight effortlessly, finding myself out of breath myself. For a few long, extensive moments, we just hovered like that, breathing together, and I forgot about the hellish reality we’d been trapped in for days. I let my hand that still rested on her side instead trail up to wrap loosely around her, feeling the way her chest was heaving and waiting for it to even out. 

“Thank you...” Jinsol muttered to me weakly once she regained enough of her composure. I gently pulled my hand from her jeans, drawing slightly away to look at her. Her skin was flushed, her hair ever so slightly tousled in the back, but she was still _stunningly_ pretty.

I nodded, chuckling weakly as I helped her straighten up, “You’re welcome... never been ‘thanked’ for that before.”

She seemed almost stunned by just how sudden and intense that’d been. Like she hadn’t even truly expected us to go through with it, at least not all the way. She looked at me with still slightly lidded eyes, “Well, you should’ve been.”

I shook my head back and forth weakly, instead parting from her and gently pulling her from the table by her waist, “Can you walk?” Ironically, just as her feet touched the floor, she actually staggered. I caught her gently and she hid her face in my shoulder again, both of us laughing lightly. She needed just a bit more time. Understandable.

“Shit...” She breathed out with a charming smile.

I nodded, “You might need to recuperate for a bit.”

She opted to lean against the table for some more support, “You really do have an ego huh?”

I shrugged, “Can you blame me?”

Her still flushed cheeks lit with an additional blush, unable to maintain our eye contact as that uncharacteristic sheepishness returned. “...no.”

We were both snapped out of our strangely polite after-sex banter when the door to this break room was gently opened. Hyunjin marched inside, lugging some big box along with her, and I took the initiative of taking several steps from Jinsol and offering to help Hyunjin with what she was hauling for added feigned normalcy.

“Thanks,” She muttered to me dismissively as we set it down on the other side of the room. She definitely hadn’t needed my help, but she was too polite to say so - oddly enough, considering the last contact we’d had was her punching me in the face. She headed to the door again, but didn’t miss Jinsol on her way out. “You alright, Jinsol? You’re kinda red.”

Jinsol blinked adorably, still sort of dazed from everything, and only just barely managed to pull a feasible excuse out of her ass, “What? Uh-- yeah, just lifted something heavy.”

Hyunjin shrugged off the explanation, not giving it much thought, and disappeared into the rest of the warehouse. I made sure to give Jinsol one last smug, knowing smile before leaving her alone to recuperate.

* * *

_**Hyejoo** _

Yerim let out a small “oof” as she set down a sizeable box from a shelf to the floor. We’d found a crowbar in a back room and had been passing it around to rip the lids off these boxes. She struggled with handling it properly, so I moved to gently help her - adding my weight so there’d be more leverage. She smiled at me when I got close, “Right! Teamwork!”

With the two of us trying, the lid popped off in an instant. Unfortunately, like a lot of the others, there was just a ton of weird machine parts inside. None of us could tell what they might be for except Jinsol, who looked through them all and just said they “weren’t anything we could use.” Just our luck, huh?

“Ahh, don’t look so sad!” Yerim piped up when she saw my face, passing the crowbar to Hyunjin and instead wrapping her arm around my waist. “Don’t worry. We’ll find some stuff we can use. We already found some food, right?” Her optimism was so... odd? Maybe that’s not the right word for it, I was just stunned that it was still there, despite everything. It was even more intense than Chae’s - totally unfiltered, without even slight doubt attached.

“You girls can take a break if you want.” Hyunjin told the two of us. We’d opened a few boxes by then and I was honestly sort of winded, but she hadn’t so much as broken a sweat.

I moved to sit down on a nearby pile of wooden palettes as soon as I was given that slight permission. Yerim took a moment to deliberate, before deciding to plop herself down at my side. She swung her legs back and forth, humming a song to herself.

“How’re you so happy all the time...?” I asked quietly, almost more to myself than to her. It just seemed so odd. She was acting like we were sitting on swings at a park, but we were literally in an abandoned, relatively freaky warehouse.

She turned her head to look at me, “I’m just so glad to see you! What’re the odds of us finding each other again??” She scooted closer and rested her hand atop mine, seeming to decide after a moment to instead intertwine our fingers together. “I was worried about you, Hyejoo-yah...”

This was... so weird to me, even still. The more I thought about Yerim, the more grateful I was for her. She’d pulled over on the side of the road to help Chae and I all because she sat next to me once in Biology. She remembered me somehow, when I probably barely even spoke a word to her. She was so kind, so genuine and sweet and selfless. Like Chae, I felt this sudden, incredible urge to keep her safe, despite knowing I probably wouldn’t actually be able to do so. I never wanted anything bad to happen to her. She deserved only good things, only the _best_ things. And I so hoped she’d be able to get them on that island.

“Did you guys get out of the city okay?” I asked her, realizing only after a second that that was sort of a dumb question. “I-I mean, I-I bet it wasn’t ‘okay,’ nothing’s really ‘okay’ anymore, but like, I-I, did--”

“--We got out, and that’s what matters.” Yerim told me softly, her tone so gentle that it made all my rambling stop in an instant. “There were some bumps, I mean, there’re always bumps... Jinsol found her brother, though! Um... Haseul got her leg kinda hurt... and, uh... she and Yeojin lost their dad.”

My heart sank. “What? Oh my god,” I looked around, as if I’d leap to my feet and hug either of them if they were even remotely in reach. That was... _awful_. God, I was just so sick of these good people dealing with all _this_. First Jiwoo, now Haseul and Yeojin.

“I know...” She tightened her grip on my hand. I think that was the saddest I’d ever heard her sound. “Hyejoo?” Her voice was cautious now. I raised an eyebrow at her, “Did you not want to go and look for your parents...?” I couldn’t quite match her gaze anymore at the question. Nobody had really brought that up, or bothered asking. I think it was because you just naturally assumed the worst if someone wasn’t mentioning a missing family member. “I-I went and looked for mine, and they weren’t home, but they left a note telling me where they went, so maybe your parents did the same thing? Or maybe, if you could think, do they have somewhere else they could go?”

“I don’t care.” I told her plainly, wanting that to be the end of it.

Yerim was too sweet to comprehend the reasoning behind that, though. I don’t think her nice brain could even begin to understand the concept of someone having a relationship that bad with their parents. I didn’t fault her for that. “You don’t care...? Hyejoo, it’s alright, we can go and look for them, even if it is out of the way--”

“--No. I don’t care. They don’t care about me, so why should I care about them?” I wasn’t sure where that came from, but it was somewhere deep. Saying it out loud like that, it... felt like some sort of weight had been lifted off my shoulders that I barely even knew was there. Yerim just stared at me, her lips slightly parted like she planned on saying something, but had no idea how to respond. “I was never worth their effort, so they a-aren’t worth my effort.” For some reason I found myself getting emotional. Why was I even telling Yerim this? She didn’t need to hear it.

“Hey hey, shh...” She edged closer, wrapping one of her arms around my waist again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

Instinctively I tried to edge away from her, feeling stupid and vulnerable to be talking about this at all, “I-It’s fine, y-you didn’t know, I-I’m just gonna--” I started to get up, but she held me to my spot. It wasn’t a tight grip, I could’ve broken out of it with barely any effort, but I didn’t want to.

“Hyejoo... maybe they didn’t care, but that doesn’t mean nobody does.” She told me that softly, just as Sooyoung walked by us - making sure that she didn’t overhear. Her arm wrapped around me more firmly. “I care about you. Chae cares about you. Sooyoung and Jiwoo care about you, I can tell...” I sniffled slightly, not at all having expected this to bring me so close to tears. “We care about you... we’re your family now.”

  
That was the last straw, and a small, sudden sob hit me like a slap across the face. I covered my mouth with my suddenly trembling hand, both of us caught off guard from this. She pulled me flush against her and I hid my face in her shoulder, blushing beet red, _so_ embarrassed.

“Shh, hey, shh, it’s okay! It’s okay, I’m right here...” I clung to her side, balling up fistfuls of her shirt. Thankfully no more sobs left me, but I still felt weak and small and _stupid_. “Why’re you crying, honey? It’s a good thing! Don’t be sad...”

I did my best to blink the remnants of my tears away, “I-I’m... I dunno. I’m sorry, t-this is dumb--”

“--No. Don’t do that.” She gently drew away, so I couldn’t hide my face anymore, and she rested her forehead against mine. “If they really didn’t care about you, they weren’t your family. Family cares about you, and they’re there for you, no matter what.” Her tiny thumbs brushed against my cheeks, wiping the remnants of my tears away. “That’s us now. Right?” I felt my lip start to quiver again, my chest actually feeling light for once, and she tightly clasped both of my hands with hers, “I know I didn’t really know you before. And I sort of barely know you now I guess, all things considered. But I’m glad I know you, I’m glad I _found_ you, and that you found me, and I’m not going anywhere. How’s that?”

I didn’t know what to say. I just felt... grateful. This was so surreal. How was it that the world had to end for me to finally feel like someone cared...? Like someone worried about me and wanted to make sure I was okay? I’d never felt this before, and I didn’t expect the sudden flood of emotion to hit me so hard. I wasn’t sure how to respond to it. So all I did was nod again. She hugged me, and I hugged her, and for a second, it actually did feel like I had what a family was supposed to be.

* * *

_**Hyunjin** _

Sooyoung stood on her tiptoes perched atop the ladder we’d found, trying to nudge something from its spot on a near top shelf with the tips of her fingers. Oh Jesus, that was an accident waiting to happen. She’d been going really hard with all this unboxing, it was like she had something to prove. I could relate, but it probably wasn’t the best thing for her to be doing.

“Hey, let me do that.” I spoke, looking up at her. She matched my gaze, probably wondering if I was asking her or telling her. “Just get down from there. How about we don’t pop those stitches you got literally twenty minutes ago?” Her face actually faltered at the mentioning of that, and she sighed to herself before stepping down to the floor begrudgingly.

When her feet touched the floor, she actually staggered a bit, but I caught her gently. “Whoa, jeez...” She shook her head back and forth, “Sorry. Kinda light headed still.”

“Alright, c’mon.” I tightly clasped her wrist and pulled her along with me, not giving her a choice in this because I knew she’d just try to brush me off.

“Where are we--”

“--we’re getting some food in you, dumbass. Can’t have you passing out while you’re up on a ladder.” I brought her into the back room and shoved her down into a chair. She tried to get up as if on instinct, but I just pushed her back down by her shoulder with minimal effort. “Stay.” She pouted slightly, an expression I hadn’t expected to ever see her wear.

I grabbed a can of peaches from the little pile we had growing. Sure, not the most appealing thing, but it wasn’t expired and she could suck it up. I opened it, shoved a plastic spoon inside and wrapped her hand around it. “Eat.” There was a chair on the other side of the room that I dragged over, sitting across from her.

She stirred the spoon in the can curiously, narrowing her eyes at me, “Why’re you sitting there?”

“To make sure you stay here. And that you eat. You’re not getting up until that whole can’s gone. Juice and all.” I told her, crossing my arms adamantly.

Her face fell, “The _juice_ too? You serious? It probably tastes like metal.”

  
“I’m dead serious. No more complaining, get to it stitchy.”

She slowly started to eat the peaches, making sure to grimace just to show me how much she wasn’t on board with this assignment. “Please don’t call me stitchy.”

I chuckled under my breath, “Want me to call you shiner instead?” It was hard not to notice the bruise that was forming right beneath her left eye, in the perfect size of my fist. I tended to get caught up in the heat of the moment. Heejin would probably tell me that was an understatement. But in hindsight, I sort of regretted punching Sooyoung like that. It was a cheap move, at the very least I could’ve started a proper fight. She looked like she might actually be a pretty good opponent if I’d given her the chance.

She blushed from the mentioning, staring down into that peach can. “Hey... um, about that, I--”

“--Are you seriously about to apologize right now?” I cut her off, but her lips stayed parted, like she planned on finishing her statement. I didn’t give her the chance, “Look, I think we both did some shit we weren’t proud of. Okay? That was a cheap shot on my part.”

She chuckled airily under her breath, “I had it coming. Let’s be honest. At least the first person to punch me in the face was fucking _Kim Hyunjin_.” She put an admiratory inflection on my name, matching my gaze again with sparkling eyes. Oh right, I forgot she was a fan.

“That’s me.” I shrugged earnestly. “It’s funny, some of my fans would tweet shit about wanting to get punched by me, but I never thought they’d go as far as you did just to get me to swing at them.”

That earned a full on laugh from her - she nearly sputtered out some peach juice, “I-I want to say I wasn’t one of those fans who’d tweet shit like that, but we both know I’m _exactly_ that kind of person.”

I laughed too, reaching forward and jostling her shoulder. “Did you ever go to a fight?”

She lifted a peach up with the spoon, only for it to fall from the utensil and splatter semi-disgustingly back into the can of juice. Some of the liquid landed on her hand and she grimaced, wiping it away. “No, I was always too busy working. I watched damn near all of them though. Ugh, I’d always get so pissed whenever you lost.”

I shook my head at her, “Wow, fake fan, never even went to a match--”

She scoffed in offense, “-- _Not_ a fake fan!! I was just busy!!”

“Fake fan--”

“--Bitch!” She kicked my shin with relative force and I just laughed.

Sooyoung was okay. We’d both been in a stressful spot back on Heejin’s campus, that was all. We’d both acted irrationally, and we were both mature enough to admit that in hindsight. In my eyes, we were good now. I wasn’t sure if she felt the same way, I mean, she _did_ get punched and almost knocked out, but I thought we were even. Based on the way she was laughing and joking around with me, though? Things seemed square.

“Tell you what,” I leaned forward slightly in my seat, “When all this shit blows over, I’ll give you tickets to a match. Prime seats, right up front.”

Her eyes widened, like she was hesitant to even buy it, “Are you bullshitting me?” I shook my head. She scooted so far to the edge of her seat that the chair actually jolted a bit across the floor, “Oh my god, in front??” I just nodded slowly, a smile coming to my face from how giddy she was getting, “Holy shit!! What if I get blood splattered on me like when you fought Lee Cheonsoo??”

That had been a _damn_ bloody fight. “You _want_ blood splattered on you??”

“Of fucking course I do!!” She bounced up and down slightly, eyes bright, beaming a huge smile at me. After a few dragging moments, she seemed to realize how hyped she was and dialed it back by clearing her throat. “I-I mean, yeah. Thank you for the offer.”

I laughed at her before standing from my seat, “I’m gonna trust you to finish those peaches, alright?” She nodded, but looked slightly suspicious. “If I find that can anything but empty, I’ll punch out your other eye.” She quickly swallowed down another peach.

* * *

_**Chaewon** _

Gosh, this big building sure had a lot of boxes. Too many boxes, if you asked me. A lot of them didn’t even have anything good in them, nothing we could use anyway. I’d helped unbox some of the stuff for a while, but I was getting really tired already. I hadn’t complained while we were riding the bikes, because of course I didn’t, but biking with Sooyoung had actually been pretty hard. It wore me out. Normally adrenaline would’ve kept me going, but I didn’t need adrenaline here - it was safe. Or at least it felt safe. So now it was just me being alone with my sleepiness.

“Psst!!” A sudden, sharp noise from above me made me jump in surprise. I’d just been strolling down one of the many aisles, trying to find a box that looked more easy to open than other ones. I looked up, only to see Yeojin poking her head out from one of the upper shelves. “Chaewon-ah! Come up!! I made a fort!!!”

My heart skipped an unexpected beat, “A fort?!!” I was whispering too, or I guess sort of whisper-shouting up at her.

“Yes!!” She bounced up and down slightly, gesturing over the edge at me, “Climb up!! C’mon!! Only cool people are allowed so don’t tell Haseul!”

I nodded readily, feeling a slight blush rise to my cheeks at Yeojin thinking I qualified as a “cool person,” but keeping my giddiness to myself. Instead I rushed around to the other side of the shelf, where you could sort of use the shelving as footholds, and struggled to hoist myself up to where Yeojin was. It was kinda hard, but not too different from like a less fun jungle gym or something. When I reached the shelf, though, I couldn’t help but yelp weakly at Yeojin’s face suddenly right in front of mine.

Her hand shot forward and she pressed a finger to my lips, “Shh!! It’s a secret! C’mon!” She reached forward and grabbed both of my arms, pulling me up the rest of the way with a surprising amount of force. I stumbled onto the cold metal shelf, needing to crouch or else I’d hit my head. She crawled along the shelf ahead of me, and I followed without another word. Eventually, toward the end, we reached this little igloo-like structure made up of all sorts of mismatched things she’d gathered up. She tugged me past its threshold and sat upright, beaming proudly at our surroundings.

“Whoaaaa.” I looked around, wide-eyed. The already cool coolness of it was amplified cuz we were so high up. “This is neat! How long did it take you to make it?” She’d taped pencils around the outside, like some sort of spikey border to keep people out. Pieces of wire bent into the shapes of stars dangled from the metal above our heads by looping them around the slots in the shelving. I had a feeling that Yeojin was well-versed in fort-making. This _definitely_ wasn’t her first fort.

She shrugged earnestly, leaning a pile of down jackets she’d turned into a sort of makeshift bean bag chair, “Not too long. Just felt like a fort was needed, there’s all this junk lying around, why not put it to good use?”

“Yeah! Good idea!” I pulled my knees up against myself. Some people might’ve been claustrophobic in there, but I just felt cozy.

“Haseul’d probably kill me if she knew I spent time doing this, she wants to make fun illegal.” Yeojin told me softly.

I frowned slightly, “I think she just wants to keep you safe, cuz of--”

“--Yeah yeah yeah, I know, I’m not stupid.” She buried her face in her hands all of a sudden, seeming tired. I was tired too. This would be a good spot to nap, but now wasn’t really the time unfortunately. “Just... trying to forget about it all for a little bit. Is that a crime?” Her voice was muffled by her hands.

“No.” I told her gently, making my voice soft. She slowly pulled her hands down, looking at me with a new curiosity. I tilted my head at her with a slight smile, “Do you like rocks?”

Her eyes narrowed, “Do I like... rocks?”

“Yeah, rocks...” I started to second guess bringing it up, just from her tone, but it was a bit too late to take it back now. Yeojin would be too nosey to let me change the topic.

Her brow furrowed, as if she was seriously considering the question, “I mean, I’m not particularly opposed to rocks, no. Should I be? Or is this some sort of trick question, like a personality test? On a scale of 1-5 I am a solid 3 on rocks. How’s that? What does that say about me?”

I ignored all that Yeojin-rambling, weakly shrugging my backpack from my shoulders, “I-I have some rocks,” I had to clear my throat, my voice was getting croaky already. “Um, here,” I tugged out a handful of them, really some of the prettiest ones, and laid them on the shelf between us.

Yeojin reached forward and clasped one rather haphazardly, and I gently tugged it from her hand, not liking how roughly she gripped Ribbet like that. She let me do so without protest, but was only more thoroughly confused. “And why are you carrying a bunch of literal rocks around...?”

This was stupid. I shouldn’t have shown her, and I was barely sure why I had. I frantically started gathering them up with now trembling hands, placing them back in my bag, “Nothing, u-um, they-- they’re just--”

“--Wait wait, whoa,” She reached to gently clasp one of my wrists, the contact soft enough to actually get me to stop still. “I like them. They’re painted, right? You did that?” I took a deep breath, nodding sheepishly as I cautiously tugged them back out. “That’s cool... so you like painting or something?”

I pulled out Pyre, daring to gentle set her down in Yeojin’s palm. “Uh, yeah, but... they’re kinda like my... pets...” I finally confessed to her, staring closely to gauge her reaction cuz that was usually when people got mean. Her face changed slightly and I felt myself start to panic again, “I-I, cuz, um, m-my apartment didn’t allow pets, a-and I love animals so I--”

“--Ohhh, okay, why didn’t you just say so?” She gently brushed her thumb along the back of Pyre’s surface, a new care added to all her motions. “That’s cool. I’ve had a few pet rocks in my day. A pet plant, too. And I think I care a bit too much about my plushies back home, if I’m honest.” She chuckled lightly, “I mean, I had Jim, so...” Her face fell. Oh. Right. I hadn’t seen her tuba around anywhere since we reunited.

“I’m sorry...” I scooted closer, loosely cupping Yeojin’s hand. “What happened to him...?”

She sniffled and started blinking rapidly. Oh jeez, I hadn’t meant to make her upset. “Not right now,okay? Later. When we’re back inside the whole mess.” She wiped at the corner of her eye. It was so dark in the fort I couldn’t properly tell if she had real tears or not. God I hoped she didn’t. “Two rules in this fort: Only cool people allowed, and we don’t talk about... all that fuckshit out there. Okay?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry. Here,” I reached into my pack and took out all my rocks again. Hyejoo still had the other half or so in her bag. Most of these ones were sort of new - ones I’d only just recently found and painted. So I wasn’t as attached. I still loved them all, but maybe Yeojin could use something to take her mind off Jim. “Do you like any...? You could adopt one, as long as you promise to take care of it.”

Visible gratitude flickered behind her eyes at my offer, “Really? Um...” She looked down at all of them, curious, before cautiously hefting Gilchi into her palm, looking closely at me to see if he was off limits. He wasn’t. “This one. I like him. He’s all swirly...”

I smiled warmly at her, “Yeah! Yeah, he is, that’s uh, that’s Gilchi! I found him when I got lost on my way back from work, I didn’t know the city too well yet... there was a snail that crawled over him who I hung out with for a while, so that’s why I drew him with the big swirly shell...” She smiled at the story, tracing her thumb along the pattern of the swirl, “You can keep him. Okay? Just make sure he stays safe.” She nodded readily, holding Gilchi close to her chest with both hands.

“See, I knew you were cool. That’s why you were invited into Fort Yeojin.” She reached up and pinched my cheek. I blushed slightly from the contact, giggling, and she laughed too - her big, loud laugh.

“Chae?! Chae, a-are you here?! Where’d you go?!” I heard a voice calling out to me from somewhere else in the store. It was Hyejoo. Oh. Without a second thought, I scrambled out from Fort Yeojin back onto the shelf.

“I-I’m here, Hyejoo-yah, it’s fine! Just one sec,” I started climbing down the next instant, making sure to be extra careful. It didn’t sound like she was in danger or anything, just worried that I wasn’t in her sight. The feeling was honestly sort of mutual.

“Yeojin-ahh!! This is no time for hide and seek, I told you to help us unbox things!!” Haseul’s voice also echoed off the walls of the warehouse, carrying to Yeojin.

“Ughhh.” Yeojin groaned in frustration as she begrudgingly crawled out of the fort too. Once we were both on the floor again, she nudged my side and whispered to me in a low, knowing tone, “Gilchi’s in my pocket. Lemme know if you ever wanna hold him or anything, okay?”

I nodded at her, but honestly? I fully trusted her to take care of him. I just hoped it helped her cope with whatever had happened to Jim.

* * *

_**Haseul** _

We’d been opening boxes for what must’ve been almost an hour now. Yeojin was finally helping (if you could consider jumping inside empty boxes and trying to close the lid on herself helping), which sped things up a little bit, but this felt endless. I wasn’t even entirely sure what we were searching for, but it never hurt to stock up. It wasn’t often we’d get an opportunity to just safely scrounge for supplies like this, so we should take it while we had the chance.

People were taking breaks periodically, or whenever they felt like. It wasn’t too heavily monitored. I made sure Sooyoung went easy on herself, considering her recent stitches, which she reluctantly agreed to. Jiwoo had been helping pretty consistently for a long while, but about ten minutes earlier had moved to sit on the sidelines. She looked... different from when we’d last been together. That brightness behind her eyes and the happy lilt her voice usually had were just... gone. She used to remind me of Yerim with how optimistic she’d been, but now? It seemed like there weren’t even slight traces of that left, and it was heartbreaking. I’d obviously heard when she’d told Jungeun what had happened to their town, and their parents. And I wished I didn’t relate as much as I did.

She needed someone to talk to. I wasn’t sure what else had happened back in her town - if she’d coped with the loss properly with the help of the other girls, or what - but my natural urge to help consumed me out of nowhere. I gravitated to her side, sitting next to her on the hard concrete floor. She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye, but besides that didn’t acknowledge I was there.

I didn’t want her to think I was pitying her if I brought up the topic, because that wasn’t what I was doing. I was empathizing. Relating. There was a big difference. The only way she could understand that, though, was if...

“I lost my dad.”

There was a pause. The air tangibly shifted. Her head tilted ever so slightly in my direction, “What...?” Her voice was so small I barely heard it over the ambient noise of people tearing boxes open.

I cleared my throat to prevent my voice from potentially breaking, “I lost my dad. Two days ago.” It was... odd, saying it aloud like that. I mean, obviously it’d happened. Of course it’d happened. But... I felt like I hadn’t accepted it yet. Barely even processed it, really - there hadn’t been time. I should probably check on Yeojin. If _I_ could barely deal with this, then lord only knew how she was coping. On the outside she _seemed_ fine, seemed like the same annoying, eccentric little girl, but she couldn’t be fine. There was no way. She was even closer to dad than I was.

“Oh.” Jiwoo turned to face me fully, eyes wide, concern and sympathy written all over her face. Despite all the suffering she’d gone through, with losing both parents so abruptly, she was more than ready to put all of her focus onto comforting me. “Oh, my god, Haseul, I’m _so_ sorry.” She gently clasped one of my hands. I hadn’t even realized I was shaking.

I intertwined our fingers together, taking a much needed deep breath to regain my composure before it had a chance to thin too terribly, “No, _I’m_ sorry, sweetie. Your parents...” Her face fell all over again, a devastation visible plainly behind her eyes. Her lower lip started to quiver ever so slightly, and I tightened my grip on her hand. “Hey, don’t. I’m sorry. We don’t have to talk about it if you aren’t ready yet, but... I’m here. Okay? And even if it’s just, to a slight extent, I understand what you’re dealing with and I--”

I didn’t even get to finish my sentence, because the next moment she’d thrown her arms around me and buried her face into my shoulder. She wasn’t crying, but her breathing was uneven, and her whole body trembled. I hugged her back tightly, knowing that she needed this. I think I sort of needed it too, deep down.

“They killed themselves.” She whispered so gently, so airily I almost thought I misheard it. My heart wrenched. Oh my god. “I-I... I-I don’t know why. If they just... waited a _little_ bit longer, I-I could’ve gotten there, I might’ve been able to stop them, they might be here a-and I just feel like it’s my fault somehow and--”

“--No. No Jiwoo.” I held her closer against me, cradling the back of her head, “It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known and you can’t change things that already happened, sweetheart... please don’t think that, I don’t want you to think that.” The thought of this poor, sweet girl thinking it was _her fault_ that her parents had... done that, it... god, that was just the saddest thing I’d ever heard.

She sniffled, “I... just wish they were here.”

I nodded slowly. It was such a simple statement, but so genuine and unfiltered. I related to that more than anything else. My dad would know what to do. My mom would too, but... she was probably gone, if dad hadn’t made it. I pushed the thought out of my head. I wasn’t ready to add that to my plate. “I know... there are so many people who should still be here. It’s not fair.”

“It’s _not_ fair--” She seconded my statement, her voice finally breaking from repeating it.

“--it isn’t. But... there’s nothing we can do. We’ve just gotta keep going, and keep the people who’re still here as safe as we can.” I pulled out of her tight grasp, matching her gaze and not liking how glossy her eyes were. Honestly, I was telling myself all those things just as much as I was telling her. “Okay? We’ve just... _gotta_ keep each other safe. Can you do that?”

She nodded readily, “Y-yes, yes, I’ll try... I... don’t want to lose anyone else. I don’t think I-I can.” Her already weak voice broke again, lip quivering even more.

“I know. We just have to hope we won’t.” I didn’t want to say outright that we “wouldn’t lose anyone,” that was dangerously wishful thinking. If I thought too hard about it, I honestly didn’t believe it. With how things had been going - how many close calls we were having... I was just waiting for something to go wrong. Which was _so_ fucking scary, but the last thing that Jiwoo needed was to see me coming undone from my own fear and worry.

But _fuck,_ I didn’t want to lose anyone else either.

* * *

_**Jiwoo** _

Talking with Haseul had helped a bit. Not a ton, but... it was something. I’d far from worked through it. Even though I’d opened up a lot more than I had to Sooyoung or anyone else, it still wasn’t all the way. And just because Haseul told me not to, didn’t mean I wasn’t still blaming myself for what had happened deep down. And it felt like it was just... _eating_ me up inside. It hurt. I was sick of feeling it. All I could think to do was distract myself with something, anything, fast.

Jinsol passed by where I sat, hefting a loaded bag along with her to the breakroom, but I literally lunged forward and latched onto her arm as soon as she was in reach. She jumped in surprise, startled. “Hey! Hi, u-um, Jinsol, here, sit with me.” I tugged her close and forcefully sat her at my side, which she confusedly complied with.

“Oh, okay-- uh, hello!” She smiled a charming smile at me, tilting her head slightly. Despite her confusion, she accepted the new situation I thrust her into. I just hoped she stuck with it as I got even more direct.

“Distract me.” I blurted out almost frantically. The tightness in my chest and the aching of my heart was getting worse by the second. I kept picturing my parents in their room, the community center full of everyone I’d grown up with, smashing Lucille against my old gym teacher until she shattered to pieces, and my eyes started to burn.

Jinsol arched one of her eyebrows, “Distract you?”

I reached forward and tightly clasped her hand, hoping that she’d feel the desperation in the gesture alone, “Yes, please. I-I need to think about other things. Anything else. Please.”

She nodded readily, her smile having faded suddenly as she realized the seriousness of this conversation I’d literally pulled her into. “Okay okay, uh, um, d-did you ever build Gundam models?”

I blinked dumbly at her, “Gundam models? No, th-those are those little robot things right?” My chest was still tight. I wasn’t distracted enough.

“Yeah, u-um, I was super into them, it’s sort of my nerd hobby! There was this one I built, it had over 600 pieces! It took me like four days, I had to work on it between exams. He’s still sitting on my desk in my room, I named him Yakhul after the deer thing that the main character of Princess Mononoke rode around, u-um, have you seen Princess Mononoke?” She was speaking faster and faster, probably noticing that the panic and stress on my face hadn’t faded yet.

“Um, I-I think so, when I was a kid, yeah...” All of her frantic rambling was actually starting to override my chaotic, detrimental thoughts.

Her face brightened from my confirmation, “It’s great, right? Have you seen any other Ghibli movies? I love Ghibli movies, I _think_ I’ve seen them all but I’m not sure. If there’s any you haven’t seen I can summarize the plots of basically all of them for you right now frame for frame--”

“--No, that’s okay,” I told her gently, a small smile having come to my face without me even noticing. It was endearing just how readily she’d offered to help, and how eager she was to get my mind off things. I appreciated it more than I even knew how to say. I was still holding onto her hand, and I’d been shaking when I’d initially grabbed it, but had steadied since then. She gently ran her thumb along the back of my fingers, “Um, but, uh,” The small pause that had ensued led me to start thinking about the bad stuff again. “D-Did you have any pets? Or something?”

She scooted closer to me, as if to get me to focus on her and her words instead of my own jumbled, negative thoughts, “Funny you mention that, yes! I have fish! It’s the only thing I can really take care of as a student cuz they’re so low maintenance! I mainly get betta fish, but you can’t have two males in the same tank or they’ll deadass murder each other in like thirty seconds because toxic masculinity spreads even to fish apparently,” I chuckled weakly from the comment and it made her beam at me, but not stop her spiel, “So I can only have girl fish, but I don’t have a problem with that! I have this beautiful white betta and I named her Elsa--”

“--like from Frozen?” I asked her, still slightly chuckling.

She nodded with a faint blush, “Like from Frozen but! Because!! I got her during a snowstorm when I was spiralling from studying for five exams and I needed a pick-me-up, so I thought it was a fitting name for--”

“--why didn’t you just name her snowflake or something?” I suggested gently, my smile still not leaving my face.

Her lips parted, as if to retort, but seemed to have no real comeback. “Okay, I’ll give that to you, but it’s too late, her name is Elsa, and she’d have an identity crisis if I just started to refer to her as a whole other name okay? Fish are very prone to existential dread, little known fact!” I giggled again. She was such a big doof. She laughed airily sweetly with me, “I should know, I mean, I’m a mechanical engineering student sure, but I do also have a minor in marine psychology.”

“Oh my god stop.” I couldn’t handle all her lame jokes. She was sweet. A big lovable goofball. She still had that same smirk plastered to her face. And my chest wasn’t tight anymore.

She sighed happily, brushing her thumb against my fingers again. “Did that help...?” She asked that gently, with a light, cautious tone. I stared at her for a few, lingering moments, before nodding sheepishly. She moved to instead clasp my hand with both of hers, patting the back of it, “I’m glad. I can keep going, if you want. But it’s _sorta_ dangerous to let me ramble aimlessly for too long.”

I smiled genuinely at her, “Why? You gonna spoil all the Ghibli movies for me?”

She gasped exaggeratedly at even the thought, “ _Not_ without your consent, that would be a _punishable offense_ , triable by _law_. Those stories are timeless and beautifully animated with a careful craft unrivalled by--”

“--Okay, okay, I got it.” I shut her down before it could get out of hand, and she stopped herself with a quick breath. “And I agree. They’re really beautiful...” A little spark went off in my brain at my own words.. “If you want, actually, here,” I pulled my new, unnamed guitar from its bag and hefted it into my lap. “I can try and play that one Spirited Away song, if I remember it right--”

I barely even had time to finish that offer before she scooted closer, eyes sparkling and wide, “Are you fucking serious right now because I _will_ scream out loud if I hear One Summer’s Day playing on that guitar.”

I giggled from how excited she was, “Yeah, I’m pretty good at playing by ear. Uh, try not to scream if you can help it? Haseul will probably have a heart attack.” Jinsol just nodded frantically in confirmation, and sat with me as I struggled to play the Spirited Away theme from memory alone.

Needless to say, she’d successfully distracted me. And I couldn’t thank her enough for that, so I didn’t try. No, we just sat there, and she listened to me figure out the chords and the right notes to play, neither of us saying another word. 

* * *

_**Yeojin** _

“No.” Haseul told me firmly as she tugged me gently from the shelf I’d started to climb. “No no no, no more hiding away in forts.”

I groaned in frustration. I’d barely been joking when I told Chae that Haseul was making fun illegal now. She was the fun police and this was police brutality. “Ughhhhhh. Come _on_ , are we seriously expected to open every single damn box in this fucking warehouse?? Out of like, 80,000 boxes, we’ve found approximately 4 that have anything good in ‘em. This is a statistical waste of my effort, so just _please_ let me go into Fort Yeojin.” I put my foot onto the bottom self again, trying to climb, but she pulled me roughly away a second time.

She sighed, “First; stop swearing. Second; we’re almost done. Third; we’ve found more useful things than that, and fourth; you’re gonna come help.” She moved to intertwine our fingers together (needlessly intimate but okay) and pulled me with her as she walked back toward where the others had focused their riveting box-opening efforts.

I squirmed my hand from her grasp, “Ahh, no! Jeez, can’t I just sit in my fort for a bit?? Why does it matter, Jesus Christ, just let me... let me _not_ be in _this_ for a while okay?!” I snapped a bit harsher than I meant to. Ah, damn it. I’d gotten too real. She’d be able to tell.

Haseul was way too intuitive for her own good. She paused, turning to stare right at me with warm eyes. “Yeojin...”

Oh god, I did not need that tone. It was already making my chest start to ache. It reminded me of when things were easier. When she’d get all concerned if I so much as frowned, when she’d sit by my side and help me for hours if I even raised my eyebrow at my homework. But things weren’t like that anymore. She didn’t have a magic word to make me feel better, and she couldn’t just fix my problems for me because she had the same exact ones.

“What? Nothing. Nothing, whatever, I’ll help with the stupid boxes--” I tried to dramatically storm off because I’d sort of made that my brand in my past year of teen angst, but she unsurprisingly stopped me.

“--No, wait. Yeojin, we should...” It seemed like even starting that sentence drained her of absolutely all energy. Relatable.

“Should what? Should open boxes? Yes I agree, let’s go--” She latched onto my forearm when I tried to walk away for the third time. Ugh.

“No, sweetpea..” My heart wrenched. I’d die before I told her this, but I’d always liked when she called me that. “We should... talk. About... what happened.” She couldn’t say it. I couldn’t either. Fuck, I could hardly even think it. My eyes were already starting to burn. She was wearing down all my humorous sarcasm deflection. I wasn’t sure how much I had left in me, and that was scary as shit.

I cleared my throat, “Th-That won’t be necessary, let’s uh, let’s just help the others and--”

“No, shh.” She tightly clasped both of my hands and pulled me closer. Ahh, shit. My lip was getting quivery. The beginning of the end. I didn’t want to do this. I already cried, to Yerim. Was I really going to again? I fucking _hated_ crying, it made me feel like a big baby, and I was already called a baby enough. “We have to talk about it. I... I can see that it’s hurt you, and--”

“--Yeah no shit.” My voice broke. Oh god. No, no I didn’t want to--  
  


She hugged me and I lost it. I couldn’t help it. The first sob that left me made my chest hurt like a _bitch_. She started to sway me back and forth where we stood, and I balled up fistfuls of her dirty scrubs, burying my face into her shoulder. Her fingers gently ran through my hair, and she kissed the top of my head. It was just making me cry even harder.

“Shh, shh. I-I know. I know.” Her voice broke too. This was hard for both of us. We had good parents. Awesome parents. Dad was the absolute best. He used to lift me on his shoulders to help me climb trees in the backyard, he got me a cat when I was little without mom knowing and helped me keep it hidden successfully for a whole month, he was a top tier baker and made _legendary_ chocolate chip cookies...

“Fuck...” I clung onto her tighter at a sudden realization, “I-I didn’t get his recipe book, from home. _Fuck_ , Haseul, I-I’ll never know how to make those cookies, I-I always wanted to make them myself, I-I-I-- h-he never taught me how, h-he said he was gonna b-but now he’s--”

“--Shh.” She cut me off before I could say it. “It’s okay, just... we can figure it out together. When we get to the island... we can, um, w-we can test things out until we find the right recipe. Okay? I promise, sweetpea, I _promise_.”

I had something else that’d been lingering in the back of my mind ever since I watched Hyunjin shove that machete through dad’s guts. But I was scared to ask it, because _fuck_ I didn’t want to believe it. My heart had already shattered into a million shards after watching... _that_ happen, it barely felt like there was anything left to break. I just... couldn’t take it. But... the unknown was _killing_ me.

“Haseul... what about mom?”

Her grip faltered for a second. She didn’t expect me to ask that. At least not so directly. After a few lingering, tense seconds of suspense, she hugged me even tighter, taking a deep, shaky breath. “I... don’t know. I won’t lie. I just don’t know. I-I wish I did, I-I wish I could tell you she was okay a-and that we’d find her, but--”

“--don’t lie to me. I-I can take it.” I told her, trying so hard to make my voice even remotely firm through my tears.

She kissed the top of my head again before speaking against my shoulder so her voice was almost muffled.”If... she made it, we... won’t have time to look for her. Sweetpea, the best we can hope for is that she heard the broadcast and headed for the island.”

That was hard to hear. And I knew that even still, she was probably sugarcoating it for me, because the truth was too harsh. I wasn’t stupid. Or optimistic like Yerim. Fuck, I _wish_ I was, that’d make things so much goddamn easier. No, instead, I was _painfully_ aware that my mom was probably gone too. That if I thought about it, my dad might’ve killed her once he was a zombie. Oh my fucking god what an awful thought that was. I wrapped my arms more firmly around Haseul, digging my nails into her shoulders and hugging her even tighter.

“I love you, just know that I-I love you, please, Yeojin-ah.” I felt her own tears staining my shoulder. In any other circumstances, I would’ve told her to shut up and that she was just a big, doofy sap, but not then. Not then, when we might’ve literally been all each other had left. I was mean to Haseul. We bickered, of course we did, we were sisters, but I obviously loved her.

I didn’t say it enough, though. “I love you too.” She squeezed me at the words.

She took a deep, trembling breath. I hated it when she cried. It seemed so wrong, and I never knew what to do. She was the strong one, the older one who always took care of things. I didn’t know how. I needed her. “I-I’ll keep you safe. No matter what, I’ll keep you safe, sweetpea. Always.”

I knew she would. No matter what. And although it did make me feel safe, it... also made me worried, because she had to keep herself safe too.

I didn’t want her to forget that part.

* * *

_**Jinsol** _

After my unexpectedly refreshing interaction with Jiwoo, I went back to helping the others. We were running out of boxes to open. I was sort of starting to think that we were just stalling at this point, cuz the thought of going back out there was terrifying, but could you blame us? Jun kept teasing me about not being able to lift heavy boxes, which would just piss me off and I’d try to prove him wrong, but I was gonna throw my back out at the rate I was going. After another failed attempt at lifting a box half my size, he finally nudged me away and took my place, muttering something about me needing to take a break and that I was “sweating like a dog.” He wasn’t totally wrong.

Catching my breath and stretching my arms, I moved to sit on some chairs we’d dragged out from the break room. Vivi was already perched on one, her petite legs tucked beneath herself as she looked down at the sleek pistol rested in her delicate hands. There was always so much... I dunno, thought behind her eyes? If that even makes sense. It always seemed like she was effortlessly immersed and wrapped up in her own brain. I wondered what went on in there, sometimes.

I took a long, much-needed drink from one of our recently found bottles of water, before daring to speak up and pull her from that thought process. “Why do you have a gun...? Aren’t you a scientist?” She held it with familiarity. I instinctively felt like it was hers, not like she’d found it somewhere along the way.

She didn’t look at me, instead gently pushing her glasses back up the bridge of her nose, “I... like to feel safe.” Her tone was hard to read. It was always sort of distant and detached, as if she was almost disinterested in the situation. I’d only heard it different when we were in a stressful situation, or when she was talking to Haseul or Yeojin.

I wondered if I was unintentionally touching on something I hadn’t known was a sensitive area, “Did something happen?”

Her response was immediate and succinct, “No. I’m just a paranoid person.”

I hadn’t talked much with Vivi yet, I hadn’t quite had a reason to, but I realized almost immediately that I liked how blunt she was. She didn’t skirt around things. She was honest and straightforward, and I respected that. “Ah. Well, I guess your paranoia was pretty warranted, considering our circumstances. That gun’s saved our asses more than once now.”

She shrugged, “Yeah, I guess. I’m running out of bullets though.”

My chest tightened in the same way it had when Jungeun had told me something similar the day before. Why were our gun-wielders so hyped on telling me how little ammo we had? I didn’t need to hear, honestly. Blissful ignorance was my friend. “Oh. How many’re left?”

“Three.” She told me matter-of-factly, popping out the clip to show me.

  
I nodded, accepting it, “Ah. That is definitely not as many was I wanted you to say.”

She chuckled bitterly, “Yeah. I second that.” She re-inserted the clip, sighing slightly and staring down at the floor. Her eyes got that same glint again - delving back into her own thoughts.

I cleared my throat, asking her something that’d been lingering in the back of my mind for days, but had never really found the right time to ask. “So... don’t mean to put you on the spot, but have you made any more um, science-y observations about the infected?

“No.”

“Oh.” I was caught off guard by just how immediate that response was. Like a reflex, almost. Maybe it was a dumb question. I asked those sometimes.

She brushed some of her faded pink hair behind her ear, glancing back at me, “Shockingly, my brain doesn’t constantly operate on science.”

Oh. Right. I hadn’t meant to seem dismissive or like I was boiling her down to basic attributes. My bad. “Ah, right I didn’t mean to--”

She tilted her head at me, an unexpected tinge of sass creeping into her tone, “Have you made any mechanical engineering observations?” I felt a smile creeping across my face, “No?”

“No.” I confirmed, glad to see her smirking just a bit too. It looked good on her. I was also probably wrong to assume that she didn’t have this sassy side to her, but it definitely was catching me off guard. “I’m sorry. I just, I dunno, I don’t know much about you besides that you’re a scientist, have cool pink hair and a gun.”

Her brow furrowed at me, “Cool pink hair?” Her cheeks lit with a slight blush that was an ironically similar shade of aforementioned pink.

I nodded readily, “Yeah! You’re fucking rocking it, by the way!” Her hair was probably the first thing I’d noticed about her, even though the first time I saw her I could only see through one eye, and was drifting in and out of consciousness while my eyebrow got stitched up in the back of a van. Her only response was a dismissive shrug. Modest ass. “Has it been any other colors before?” I scooted my chair slightly closer to hers.

“Yeah. Most colors, actually. Blonde, brown, blue, red. It was even green for a second but that uh, was an objective failure.” I nodded in understanding. I’d been there. “First time I dyed it, I went full black. Again, not the _best_ look, but I was in an edgy phase.”

I nodded even more vigorously at that, “Oof, can 1000% relate to the edgy phase. Mine lasted at least three years...” My eyes narrowed at her - at this teensy, petite, pastel scientist, “But honestly, I’m having a hard time picturing you as ‘edgy.’”

She shook her head, turning more in her chair to better face me. Good. More engaged in the conversation. I took that as a personal win. “Oh Jinsol, I was _incredibly_ edgy and rebellious. Actually,” She leaned slightly closer and lowered her voice to a discrete whisper, “I got arrested for shoplifting once.”

My eyes widened so much I thought they might pop out of my damn head. “What the fuck??” I gasped loudly, “Oooooo Miss Vivi! You’re way more badass than I thought!”

She shook her head, but she still had that little smirk on her face. Intentional or not, she’d definitely impressed me. “Badass is a strong word. I was only in jail for a night, but it was enough to sort of help me claw my way out of that edgy descent...” She clasped her hand together in a feigned prayer, “Thank _god_ for that. I was moments away from getting some sort of pretentious tattoo, or even a tongue piercing.” She quickly jumped to add a disclaimer, “Nothing against tongue piercings. But once I start something it’s hard for me to kick, and there’s only so many things you can pierce.” She shot me a knowing look at that comment and I couldn’t help but chuckle away a slight blush.

I kept up the banter, “I mean, in my opinion, you should dye your hair back to black some day. You could _totally_ pull it off.”

“What about you? How long have you been blonde for?” She shifted the topic of conversation to me, but honestly I wanted to hear more about her.

“Oh, me? My scalp is long since deceased. At this point it’s bordering on unsalvageable.” That was only partially a joke.

“Ahhh, that’s too bad. I won’t start showering you in hypocritical science facts about how damaging hair dye can be, but for the record, you could go back to dark hair too, and absolutely pull it off.” Her sassy tone had faded altogether, becoming genuine and sincere.

I wasn’t the best at accepting compliments, so I sort of dismissed it, “Perhaps! Not gonna have a choice unless there’s a hair salon on this island. And maybe you can shoplift something and get tossed in jail overnight again, yaknow, for old times sake?”

She rolled her eyes, “You’re not gonna let that go are you?”

“No!! I’m so impressed!” She was still smirking ever so slightly at me, so I hadn’t started to annoy her yet. Another success.

She sighed slightly, “Don’t tell Haseul. She has a very dignified impression of me.” Her sarcasm was actually so effortlessly entwined with her words now that I couldn’t even tell if she meant that.

I nodded, crossing my arms, “Ah yes, the dignified jailbird. Quite the image.”

She kicked my foot ever so slightly with her own, “Shut up. Like you haven’t done something illegal too. Everyone has.”

I shook my head firmly, “Hate to break it to you Vivi but I am _exceptionally_ vanilla. Probably the most ‘bad’ thing I’ve done is breaking a window with a frisbee when I was little.”

There was a pause, as if she was expecting me to clarify or add to that story, but that was it. That was the whole story. It had happened. When I didn’t explain furhter, she raised an eyebrow at me, “...with a frisbee?” I nodded. “What was the frisbee made of? Titanium? You’d need some serious velocity to break through glass with a--”

“--What can I say, I’ve got a hell of an arm.” Now that I thought about it, it didn’t make much sense. Maybe the glass was flimsy or something? Or I remembered it wrong cuz I was so little? Or I was just a super buff little kid. Yeah, it was probably that.

Hyunjin brushed by us as she headed into the break room to add another box there, and Vivi nudged me with her elbow. “Think you could take Hyunjin, then?”

My blood practically ran cold, my cocky smirk sliding straight off my face like butter. “What? Whoa now-- I didn’t say--”

She looked at me with sparkling eyes, clearly getting too much of a kick out of this, “Here, let me call her over.” She actually started to get out of her seat. This brat.

I quickly grabbed at the end of her lab coat and tugged her maybe a bit too roughly back into her chair, “No, no, that won’t be necessary!” Hyunjin shot us a confused glance, and I tried to nonchalantly wave her away.

“What? Maybe you could throw a frisbee at her.” Vivi asked, that snark back in full force.

“I would, but we don’t have any frisbees on hand.” I felt safer to banter now that Hyunjin was out of earshot. I had a creeping feeling that she’d take even a joking offer of a fight as serious, and after seeing her lay Sooyoung flat, I did _not_ feel prepared to even so much as arm wrestle with her.

Vivi laughed airily. It was a nice sound. I wish she’d laugh more, but I wasn’t about to blame her for not doing so, all things considered. “You’re a big dork.”

I scoffed at her, “Says the _scientist_ , perhaps the ultimate dork here.”

She raised her hands up in defense, “Alright, alright. Valid point...” Haseul walked by us, struggling to roll a large box teetering on a dolly. Vivi shot to her feet in an instant to help, effectively bailing on our conversation. She did make sure to shoot me a quick wink, though. Yeah, she was definitely more badass than I’d thought.

* * *

**_Vivi_ **

I paced the break room, counting what we’d gathered. A twelve-pack of water bottles. Fifteen cans of food. A crowbar that we’d used to open all these boxes but could also definitely double as a blunt-force weapon. Some down coats that’d prove useful if the weather got any harsher. A single umbrella. Great. It was far from a “haul,” as Yerim had tried to optimistically describe it. But we had more than we did before. So for once, I tried to slightly look on the bright side - something truly groundbreaking for me. It wasn’t quite working, though. I was unsurprised.

Instead I moved to sit on a nearby chair, sighing to myself and vigorously cleaning the lenses of my glasses on my dirty lab coat. The previously untainted white was so dirty now, splattered with blood and stained with dirt. I hated it. I liked it to be as clean as possible. The first thing I’d do when we got to that island was throw this thing in the fucking wash. Bleach it, probably.

“Viviiiiiii.” A familiarly grating voice carried into the room from the doorway. It was Yeojin, of course. She approached me with exaggerated sluggish movements, as if she’d just truly been worked to the bone when I’d only personally witnessed her open three boxes.

“Hey goofball.” I spoke up, watching as she shambled towards me before depositing herself haphazardly onto my lap. I was startled by the unanticipated weight and it nearly knocked the wind out of me, “Oof, okay. Hi.” She used to do that a lot, but usually when we were on a couch or an actually comfortable armchair - not some fold-up piece of metal I could barely fit in. She awkwardly draped herself horizontally across me, dangling her limbs off the sides of the chair.

“I’m tireeeed.” She whined out, scrunching up her eyes.

“Yeah, I naturally inferred as much.” I booped her nose gently and she weakly slapped my hand away. I didn’t even notice I was smiling. Yeojin was such a big dummy it was pretty hard not to smile when she was getting up to her antics. Well, I mean, when we were out there in the thick of it, I didn’t find it as amusing because it seemed kind of out of place. Here, though? When we could actually take some room to breathe and relax? It was a welcome reminder of simpler times.

She rolled her eyes, “You’re such a big fat nerd. Four-eyes.”

“Gremlin.” I counteracted the well-intentioned insult with my own, and she hadn’t expected the retort.

She sat up slightly, looking at me with a new interest. “Agoraphobe.”

“Vertically challenged.” She always hated that one.

She glared slightly, a determined smile coming to her face as she sat up even straighter to be eye-to-eye with me, “Big Bang Theory extra.”

Ouch, that hurt. I playfully winced at her, showing her it stung, which made her nearly giddy. “C-average.”

She gasped indignantly, “Hey! B-Minus average!!” She stuck her tongue out at me and I gently shoved her off my lap. She’d anticipated the motion, instead plopping on the floor in front of me and draping her torso across my legs instead.

“Really?” I started to slowly run my fingers through her hair - something I’d discovered she actually really liked. She’d never admit it though. Yeojin avoided sentimentality and blatant emotional attachment as if it were toxic. Typical kid stuff. Though I was actually beginning to question if she’d ever grow out of it at this rate. “That’s an improvement, if I remember right.”

She pouted up at me, “Yeah. If you came over more you’d know, I brag about it like nonstop.”

My face fell slightly. I didn’t mean to be distant. I’d just immersed myself in my work lately. Haseul and I had readily agreed to remain friends after things broke off - I’d gotten close with her entire family while we’d dated (Yeojin obviously included). They helped me be less homesick about my own parents back in China, and I couldn’t repay them enough for that. In the past I used to pick Yeojin up from school and go on little adventures with her, which mainly consisted of me dragging her to a museum or an aquarium or some place she pretended she didn’t want to go, until she inevitably had a blast. Yeojin made fun wherever she went. That’s partially why it was so jarring to see her struggle visibly with all... _this_. She was only human. Really just a little kid. I didn’t expect her to gracefully cope with loss. I didn’t expect any of us to, we were all pretty young. But... it hurt to watch it happening to Yeojin. I loved when she was happy.

“I’m sorry.” I told her gently, letting my touch linger on her cheek for a few moments. “I’ve been working so much... I’m not bullshitting you when I say I’ve been wanting to take you to the zoo.”

“The zoo?!! See now that actually sounds fun!! Unlike that godawful science museum you kidnapped me to, god, I was about to ambush the nearest security guard and tell him I’d been abducted against my will.” She playfully tried to bite my finger when I went to poke her nose again, and if I hadn’t recoiled she probably would’ve gotten me.

“Shut up, you big baby. I know you had fun.” I scolded her playfully, gently kicking her butt that was conveniently right next to my foot anyway.

“Wow, I’m gonna go tell Haseul that you just kicked my ass.” She got to her feet all of a sudden, but I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around her tiny little waist before pulling her back into my lap.

“No, c’mon, don’t be a snitch. You really are a big baby.” At first she squirmed against my grasp, but Yeojin had always been pitifully weak, so I held her in place effortlessly.

She gave up with a heavy sigh, “Ugh. If I’m such a baby then what’s this? Child abuse. Boom. Caught. Illegal.” She crossed her arms triumphantly. Like she did something.

I pulled her tighter against me and the little brat actually leaned her head back against my shoulder. She talked a big game but she was actually really cuddly. One time when I had to spend the night at Haseul’s parent’s house when my car got stuck in the snow, Yeojin insisted on burrowing in between the two of us to “keep warm.” A closeted softie, truly.

“I’ll take you to a zoo some day, goofball. Alright?” I gave her a squeeze for good measure, mumbling that promise right into her ear. She tilted her head to me at the words, almost curiously.

She let out a long, dragged out breath - not to sigh, or be difficult, but as if to show me that she was just... tired. Exhausted. Not even physically, but emotionally. I could deeply relate. She just nodded, shockingly not saying another word. For a while, I just held her like that, and she let me. Inevitably, someone else came into the break room, and Yeojin leapt to her feet like I was on fire or something. I played along. That was fine. I did make sure to mouth one last “dummy” at her, though, and she didn’t give me any sass in response.

* * *

_**Yerim** _

We were just about done. This was great, honestly - we’d gotten so lucky to find a warehouse like this that hadn’t already been picked clean, and it was easy to secure the doors. If I’m being totally honest, I did get a bit tired and even kinda discouraged because of how few usable supplies there were, but I wasn’t gonna say that to anyone. Girl Scout Law Code #9 - a girl scout makes good use of her time and avoids wastefulness. Now I was leaving it to the grownups to figure out who should carry what and whose backpack should be heaviest, that sort of thing. Vivi and Jungeun spoke in stern, official-like tones as they doled them out appropriately, and even if I wanted to I didn’t think I could help too much with that, so I sat outside the break room. I hadn’t expected Chaewon to follow me closely as I walked out, or to sit closely at my side, but I wasn’t complaining.

“Hi.” She muttered in her naturally soft, tiny voice. It seemed like her default volume was a near whisper. It was sweet.

“Hiya!” I turned to face her fully, beaming brightly. It sort of seemed like she was having a hard time making eye contact, but she did smile back. She had a really nice smile.

“I-I just wanted to um, thank you, for talking to Hyejoo earlier.” My lips parted to immediately dismiss her thanks, but she added something else on, “And just, yaknow, for being nice to her in general? Like, back when you two were in school and stuff. She doesn’t talk about it, but the way she hugged you when we came in - I can tell you really matter to her.”

I didn’t even get why she was thanking me for something I was more than happy to do, but I could tell she was genuine, so I wasn’t gonna dismiss her. “Don’t even mention it.”

She scooted closer to me on this small bench, “A-And um, thank you, for the pins. I still have mine, see?” She pointed a small finger to her chest, which still proudly bore the Prettiest Eyes pin and the Rafting pin I’d given her. Now that I thought about it, I hadn’t seen anyone here pin-less, which was so great!

“You’re welcome! You really do have very pretty eyes.” I pointed out again, and she got that same blushy look she had before.

She smiled sheepishly at me, seeming to get extra bad at making eye contact now, “The girl scouts sound fun.”

I felt myself literally bounce where I was sitting at the positive mentioning of the scouts, but I consciously reined myself in. I’d been told many times that my enthusiasm when trying to recruit other people was “abrasive.” “You should’ve joined a troop! If you lived in my district we could’ve been in the same one! When things clear up, I can try to talk to my troop leader--” My sentence stopped as quickly as it started. Oh. The image of Kyungmi getting... pulled down by those zombies in the hall of the Rec center was...

Chae’s small voice thankfully pulled me from the thought, but it still rattled me. “Don’t your parents have to sign you up or something...?” Her tone was different from before.

“Yeah but what’s-- oh.” I stopped myself dead in my tracks when I realized what I was asking. I’d made a similar mistake with Hyejoo earlier. I needed to be more careful. Chae’s face had fallen. Ahhh, no no no. I didn’t mean to be rude. “I’m sorry. Are they....?” I didn’t finish the question. I wasn’t sure what was even safe to ask. The last thing I wanted to do was make her upset, even a little bit. I just wanted her to smile, and to actually look at me with her pretty eyes.

“I dunno. I moved out as soon as I could.” She told me quietly.

“Oh. That’s brave.” I couldn’t even imagine moving out. Chae must’ve only been like, a year older than me.

She chuckled slightly to herself, and for a second I wondered if she perked up, but then I saw that her face was still so sad. “Brave is a strong word! Just... wanted to get out.”

She didn’t want to talk about this. She was just being polite. “Ah. we don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want. I didn’t mean to bring it up.” I lowered my voice. The others would occasionally pass by, and Chae might not want them to hear.

“...yeah.” She whispered, still just staring down at her lap where her tiny hands rested. I took the liberty of reaching closer and intertwining my fingers with hers. It somehow prompted her to speak up again, her tone daring to get a bit brighter, “I-I have your other pin too, still.” She reached and pointed to emphasize the Rafting pin, “It did make me feel stronger. You were right... and just.. you’re really, _really_ nice, Yerim. You’re like the nicest person I’ve ever met.”

I smiled so wide it hurt my cheeks, “Ahhh, I don’t know about that...” My face was getting all warm.

She held onto my hand harder, “No, I’m serious. You’re like an angel or something. I’m just really glad you’re here, and that even despite all this you’re still so kind to everyone.”

That was an odd way to put it. “Well why would I ever stop being nice? People need it now more than ever.”

She seemed dismayed, like she wasn’t sure of what she was saying, “It’s... I dunno...” She looked around us, making sure nobody could overhear as she lowered her voice, “Jiwoo used to be so sweet and happy. And it’s not like she isn’t nice anymore, of course she is, but... she’s sad. And I hate it, I-I wish she wasn’t.”

I absolutely empathized with that. Yeojin and Haseul were having such a hard time, and there was nothing I could really do about it besides try and keep things bright, but that was getting harder and harder to do considering the circumstances. “I know... but... some of us have already lost so much, Chae.” I was indescribably thankful that I didn’t fall into that category.

“I know, I-I know. I’m not dumb, I just... I’m sick of it. And it’s weird, cuz... I’m...” She trailed off, but it seemed like she was actively keeping something in. It also seemed like she wanted to tell me, though, like she wanted to tell someone.

“What is it?” I dared to pry, having a feeling that that was all the push she’d need.

She was getting emotional. Oh. Oops. Her breathing got audible and her pretty eyes were getting sparkly from tears, “I’m _happy_ , somehow.” Her voice broke. I raised an eyebrow, not quite understanding. I was trying to be positive, sure, but saying I was “happy” would definitely be a stretch. She saw my confusion and tried to explain herself in a rushed, teary ramble, “I’m happy because I’m finally around people who want to be around me, a-and that’s never happened before, and I know that’s so fucked _up_ because we’re only together because the whole _world_ is ending, but I’m just so glad that I met you and Hyejoo and Yeojin and Jiwoo and Sooyoung a-and I never would have without all this, but they’re suffering and I’m here feeling almost _happy_ \--”

“--Hey, hey hey hey, whoa, slow down there.” I pulled her closer, needing her to stop and take a breath. Tears clung visibly to her eyelashes and her voice had gotten so weak and unsteady, I hated it. “It’s okay. It’s not f-ed up, it makes sense, Chaewon-ah. And I get it, I’m _also_ super glad that I met you, and Haseul, and Vivi and Jinsol and Jungeun, and literally everybody. It’s okay to find bright things in all of this bad. You’re not weird for that, sweetie. You’re just making it through all this mess.” 

Her lip quivered, “I just... i-it feels like I have friends, for like, the first time in forever, a-and I’m happy, but Yerim I’m _so_ scared to lose them and be alone all over again.” I could barely hear her, she was speaking in a near silent tearful whisper and I think that was as loud as she could get. For some reason that I honestly don’t know, I felt my eyes starting to burn too. What she was saying was just so _sad_.

“You won’t be alone, sweetie. Friends don’t leave. I won’t. Hyejoo won’t. I see how much she cares about you. We won’t go anywhere if we can help it, I’m your friend, Chae, I promise.”

She nodded along with my words, sniffled once and swiping her thumbs beneath her eyes, “Ah, jeez. What am I even doing?”

I smiled, blinking fast, “It’s okay, I’m right there with you.”

She actually giggled, which made me laugh right along with her. Good. It was nice to see her smiling - a big, real smile. She moved to clasp my hand with both of hers, “Thank you, Yerim.”

“You don’t need to thank me. That’s what friends are for.”

* * *

**_Sooyoung_ **

Everyone was gathering up the supplies we’d gotten into bags, adding to their backpacks and loading themselves up. I finished first and trailed out of the room back into the now eerily empty warehouse. All sounds resonated off the walls now, and right then, the only thing I could hear was the gentle strumming of a guitar. I followed the noise, finding myself instantly calmed by the simple melody. It reminded me of back when we were at the bar in Jiwoo’s town: how I was stressed, shaky from the remnants of adrenaline, terrified for the future, but suddenly relaxed to the point of near comfort just because Jiwoo decided to play a song.

She was sitting on some boxes we’d emptied in one of the aisles, seeming content to be by herself. Jungeun had semi-recuperated from the news she’d received, and was away helping the others in the break room. Nobody had tried to talk to her yet, though. Presumably including Jiwoo. She looked up from her strumming when she saw me, eyes slightly red around the rims, but still warm and sparkling somehow. It seemed hard for her, but she managed a little smile. I returned it.

Not wanting to interrupt, I moved to wordlessly sit at her side. She kept playing for a while, and I let myself listen, shutting my eyes and pretending I was somewhere better. Somewhere easier. Just... with her, just us, nothing else, no monsters outside, no stitches in my stomach. I scooted closer to her, and just as I was considering wrapping my arm loosely around her waist, she stopped mid-melody all of a sudden. Oh. I opened my eyes, tilting my head to see that her face had changed.

“Sorry, do you not want an audience?” I hopped gently off the box, readily willing to leave if it would help her get her mind off things, but she grabbed my hand before I could take so much as a single step away.

“No, it’s okay...” She tugged me back toward her with incredibly weak force, and I hoisted myself back onto the box at her side. She lightly brushed her thumb along my fingers before withdrawing to clasp the neck of her guitar, “I’m used to an audience.”

I nodded slowly at her, scooting close enough so that our sides touched. She still wore my jacket. It was so surreal to think that I’d only met her less than a week before. God it felt like... I dunno. I felt closer to Jiwoo than I had to literally anyone who’d been in my life before all this shit hit the fan. And I’d known her for so little time. Did that say more about me, or about her?

“Did you perform a lot...?” I asked gently, my voice soft and quiet. She started to pluck at the guitar strings again, but at a much slower tempo than before. She seemed distracted.

“Whenever I could. But I like the behind the scenes stuff more...” Her voice was distant. She was definitely thinking about something else. I just hoped it wasn’t sad. God, I was _so_ fucking _sick_ of this precious girl dealing with some of the saddest shit I’d ever witnessed. She was the last person on earth who deserved it. More than anything I just wished I could stop it from happening somehow.

But I wasn’t magic. Unfortunately. I sighed subtly, disguising it as a deep breath, “Like writing songs?” She nodded sheepishly, almost embarrassed, but I was sure she was just being modest. If you were around Jiwoo for more than like, fifteen minutes, you could just sense how passionate she was about things, and passion led to talent. “You’d be good at that.” I made my voice as sincere as possible, wanting her to take my words to heart.

She stopped playing suddenly again, and she stared down at her feet that dangled ever so slightly above the floor. She was tiny. It was so sweet. I watched as she pursed her lips, blinking quickly for a few moments, waiting patiently for her to say something else, if she even wanted to.

“Did... Haseul fix you up?” She was so quiet I nearly struggled to hear her.

“Yeah. But, like I said, I’m fine.” That wasn’t _entirely_ true, but I didn’t want her worrying about me. She had more than enough to worry about, and now that I wasn’t actively bleeding, she didn’t need to have me on that list. I felt like no matter how much I reassured her, though, she’d brush it off without a second thought.

Finally, Jiwoo let out a quiet sigh and hefted her new guitar off her lap - instead setting it down on the box behind her as she turned to fully face me. We were closer than I thought, but I was fine with that. It was she who seemed startled by it - at first she met my eyes only to immediately falter and for her breath to subtly hitch. She scooted back an inch or so, “You had me really really worried...”

“I noticed.” I chuckled sweetly, trying to take some of the unnecessary seriousness from this conversation. I was okay. She didn’t need to sound so distraught still. I wanted her to be happy. Like that girl I’d first met in the hallway of my apartment, who’d beamed at me before she even knew my name. It’d been such a long time since I’d seen her smile like that. And honestly? That was fucking heartbreaking.

She took a shaky breath, her eyes getting almost glossy. No no, god, she’d really been affected by my little slip up huh? It was impossibly endearing, but I hated the thought that she was so distressed all because of me. “It was too close. Okay? Please don’t keep doing stuff like that.” That plea was spoken in the softest, tiniest voice, and she dared to scoot closer. Her brow was adorably crinkled up in the middle.

“It helped us, didn’t it?”

I’d barely managed out my typical deflection before she dismissed it frustratedly, “That’s not the point...” She sighed, shutting her eyes for a moment, “You got so hurt. You could’ve _died_ , Sooyoung.” Her voice grew strained. It nearly broke. Why was she so concerned about me...?

I didn’t know what to say. Mainly because she wasn’t wrong. I _could_ have died, of course I could’ve, but nowadays you could die from doing practically anything. We’d gotten lucky so far. Yeah that luck was bound to run out, but we didn’t know when that’d happen, and if we didn’t take risks like that we’d probably die even sooner. I’d do anything to keep her safe, to keep Hyejoo and Chaewon safe too. That might’ve been a fault on my part, I guess, and sure, maybe I could’ve been more careful, but when they were in danger like that I could hardly even think straight. The thought of any of them, of _Jiwoo_ getting hurt or even... worse, was just too much for me to cope with. Which was an exceptionally unfamiliar set of priorities for me, to put it lightly.

She scooted closer again at my lack of a response. I didn’t deflect it like normal. I didn’t reassure her like normal. I genuinely wasn’t sure what to say, or what to tell her. I didn’t want to lie. She tilted her head, which made me meet her eyes again. I could almost feel her breath on my skin.

  
“You shouldn’t take risks like that. We need you... _I_ need you.” A faint blush rose to her cheeks from what she confessed. My heart fluttered.

That heart fluttering. Why did it keep happening...? I’d honestly never felt anything like it before. It made my chest feel light and airy, made me feel like I needed to keep her safe more than anything, made me feel fluffy and bright and... just...

Uh-oh. I knew what this was now. I... felt something for her. Something beyond just the normal attraction I felt toward girls, something deeper. And that was terrifying. Past the normal level of my fear of commitment, this was scary because of the fact that I might lose her. She might get hurt. My heart ached at even the thought, even trying to _picture_ Jiwoo hurt or upset or sad or...

Oh boy. I was in deep, wasn’t I? This dependency and concern, it was all so foreign. I didn’t know what to do with it, how to cope with it. It made me feel like I had to be at her side constantly, in case anything dared to try and hurt her. I guess that explained why I’d barely been able to get our kiss out of my head since it’d happened. I cared about Chaewon and Hyejoo, of course I did, but deep down? I think I was always so ready to risk my own life because I wanted Jiwoo to make it.

Fuck.

I should tell her.

She deserved that much. She kept asking, genuinely confused as to why I kept hurling myself into danger so willingly. I was never prone to lying or sugar coating things. I wasn’t expecting a reciprocation here. But now more than ever, there wasn’t much of a reason to keep secrets from one another. We literally might not get another chance.

I took a deep breath, forcing myself to stare right into her eyes. I wanted her to take me seriously, partially because I doubted I could repeat this confession. “I... think... I feel something for you.” I swallowed hard after the words left me, startled by the lump I felt in my throat.

She blinked at me a few times. Her lips parted, but nothing came out for a few, dragging seconds of suspense. I took the liberty of scooting slightly away from her. The close proximity probably wasn’t helping whatever jumbled thought process was happening in her brain. More than anything, I think she was just stunned into literal silence. I clenched my hands into tight fists, my body stiff as stone. Was this a mistake...?

“... feel something?” Finally, she spoke. I barely even heard her, she was so quiet, and I couldn’t quite read her tone - my mind was buzzing too much for me to analyze it. 

I couldn’t elaborate. I didn’t have it in me. I thought this would be way easier than it wound up being, and I wasn’t prepared for it. All I could do was confirm, and hope she understood. “Yeah...”

She blinked, still processing it I think. “Oh.” A dense silence settled in on us. It felt like it was sucking the air out of me. The longer it went on for, the more I was starting to regret dumping this on her. Maybe she wasn’t in a state to hear it. Maybe I should’ve waited, or something, or just kept this to myself. Jiwoo let out a short little breath, “When did you...?”

I’d been honest, so I didn’t plan on contriving some specific point in time when these feelings developed, because I wasn’t sure. “I dunno. It just sort of... happened.”

She didn’t say anything to that. Our eye contact had broken on her behalf, and now she stared down at the box we sat on. Her head moved slightly in what might have been a nod, but she didn’t say a single word for what must’ve been a full minute. Alright. She didn’t really need to say anything, actually - her lack of a response was sort of enough of an answer. She didn’t feel the same way. Which was totally fine. I wasn’t gonna fault her for that, and this didn’t have to change things. We were both mature adults with way more pressing concerns than an unrequited crush.

Feeling like I had more control of the situation now that I’d gotten a better grip on my emotions, I spoke slowly, in a steady, calm voice, “I’m not the best with these things. I just... thought you deserved to know, okay?” She pursed her lips slightly. Okay. I should probably leave her to herself. I really didn’t want this to change things, though. So, I dared to lean closer and place a gentle, brief peck on her impossibly soft cheek.

I hadn’t expected her to grab me by my jaw as soon as I was close and kiss me straight on the lips.

I gasped weakly from the contact, my whole body shaking. I was _not_ prepared for this, for the way it’d make my heart skip a beat and then start pounding, for the way my brain would practically short-circuit. It was short, not nearly as intense as the one we’d had in the bar, but it’d stunned me into absolute silence just the same.

She pulled away first. I certainly wouldn’t have been able to. My eyes fluttered open, staring into her warm, bright ones, and I breathed out the start of a question, “Wh--”

“--I feel something for you too.” She rested her forehead against mine, taking a deep breath. The way she was looking at me made me feel like I was going to melt away into nothing, “So many things.”

“You do...?” I don’t know why I was so hesitant to believe it. Maybe because I felt like Jiwoo was so... _good_ , and I was just me.

She didn’t hesitate a single second, “Yes. And... I can’t lose you. So _please_ , just be _safe_ , Sooyoung. More than anything, I just want you to be _safe_ and _with me._ ” Her grip on my jaw shifted lower, instead moving to intertwine her fingers loosely around the back of my neck.

All I could muster was a sheepish nod, potently aware of how warm my face was, “I will.”

The words had barely left me before she’d suddenly broke the space between us and kissed me all over again. I dared to reach forward, wrapping my hands around her middle and pulling her close so that her back arched. My head was swimming, my heart had swelled up to three times the size and I could barely catch my breath--

“WHOA.” A sudden exclamation pulled the two of us out of that kiss. I wasn’t even sure how long that had gone on for. Time had sort of gotten away from me. I still felt dazed. I didn’t let her get far - we barely broke apart, “IS THIS ALLOWED? IS THAT ALLOWED??” It was Yeojin. She was literally yelling. Jiwoo giggled adorably, hiding her beet red face in the nape of my neck. I held onto her loosely, rolling my eyes and doing my best to fight back my own blush as the rest of the girls rushed to Yeojin’s side.

“What?? What’s going on?” Haseul clutched the crowbar with white knuckles, ready to swing at the first thing that moved.

“THEY WERE _KISSING_. IS THAT ALLOWED? CAN WE DO THAT???” She pointed emphatically at us, as if it wasn’t already blatantly clear who she was referring to.

Haseul’s face fell slightly, blushing a bit too. “I-- oh. Um--”

Vivi sighed, stepping closer, “Yes, Yeojin. Kissing isn’t against the rules.”

Yerim skipped into view, “Kissing? Who’s kissing, what--” She spotted Jiwoo and I entangled and her face lit up even brighter than before, “Oooh! Cute!! Yay!”

Jungeun, who’d been quiet up until then, sighed and hefted her rifle onto her back. “We should get moving. We’re all loaded up. Let’s go.” Without waiting for any confirmation, she turned on her heel and started heading for the back of the warehouse. Oh. Still rattled from the news probably.

I cleared my throat, gently prying Jiwoo from me, though it was harder than I’d like to admit. “Come on. We can kiss later.” I told her in a hushed voice, knowing it’d send her into a giggling fit all over again. I pulled her gently from the box along with me, and in an instant her arm had wrapped itself around my waist. “Clingy much?”

“Shut up...” She pouted, only tightening her grip. I wasn’t complaining.


	27. Overwhelmed

**_Heejin_ **

We’d pulled over on the side of the road to sleep the night before, which almost felt normal. Like I’d fallen asleep in the car on a road trip or something. Nayoung hadn’t slept. Again. She’d insisted on keeping watch, and no matter how hard I pestered her, she refused to rest. When I woke up, she was in the same position as before: the driver’s seat, gripping her axe with both hands as it rested on the dash.

Thankfully, Doyeon and I were able to collectively talk some sense into her and have Doyeon drive instead. Nayoung was running off a dangerously low amount of sleep. Her behind the wheel was probably a bad idea, and she was thankfully still smart enough to acknowledge that. To be honest I was also just glad to have her in the back seat with me. It made me feel... safer, when she was close like that. Probably dumb, I know.

The only real conversation that was happening was Doyeon, Hoseok and Nayoung occasionally finding something to bicker about as we drove. I did try to start a road trip game for the hell of it, which lasted a whopping minute before it somehow managed to devolve into an argument about which road trip game was better. At that point I’d stopped trying to mediate them, since I think they were all just arguing for the sake of arguing. Maybe my social intuition was off, but none of it seemed _that_ genuinely mean-spirited.

“I’m still worried about how long this food’ll last.” Hoseok muttered. God he was such a downer. I mean, it was natural to be pessimistic nowadays, but it was like he was actively rooting for pessimism. “We’ve chipped away at a fair amount of it already. We should try to put it into rations.”

Doyoen sighed heavily, “I guess. It’d be cool if you could talk about, I dunno, anything else for two seconds? We went to the place you wanted to look for food, so you’d think you could chill a _little_.”

He scoffed lightly, “Sorry, I don’t feel like ‘chilling,’ I’m trying to be proactive about our food situation.” He sounded really business-y when he said that. Now that I really thought about it, I couldn’t really picture Hoseok doing any job besides sleazy businessman.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, worried that Hoseok might see me do it in the rearview mirror. I was a pretty non-confrontational person. Hyunjin always tried to pressure that out of me, but it didn’t really work. “Well we’ll just look for more food when we run out. Okay? No worries, we all knew it wouldn’t last forever. No point fighting about it.” Surprisingly, my intervention shut them up. Nayoung gently rested her hand against my back after the silence settled in for a few moments, and I shot her a smile. _God_ she looked tired. Just when I was about to comment to her softly that she should rest, Doyeon spoke up again.

“Yo, so uh, not to be lame, but we’re low on gas.” She tapped the speedometer to emphasize her words. I leaned forward to check. She was right - the needle was dangerously close to empty. We’d been driving for like, more than day. I was astonished we hadn’t run dry sooner.

“I think I know where we are. There’s a gas station coming up, we should stop there.” Hoseok piped up, pointing at something distant on the horizon.

“Whoa. You guys just cooperated!” I exclaimed, pleasantly surprised. That may have been the most civil interaction they’d ever had.

Nayoung laughed weakly, “Truly groundbreaking.” She was smiling, but even that was tired somehow. After we stopped, I planned on somehow finding a way to literally force her to sleep. I worried about her. 

We pulled over at the gas station and Doyeon turned off the engine. But when Nayoung moved to get out, I tightly clasped her arm with both of my hands, “Stop. Stay here. Please?” She struggled against my grasp for a second and I used every ounce of my strength to hold her still. She watched, uncertain as Doyeon and Hoseok got out. They headed into the station itself. We could still hear them distantly bickering about looking for food. “You need to rest, Nayoung-ah. You’re running on fumes, I can tell.”

“No, I’m fine, lemme just--” She tried to pull away again, and I instead intertwined our fingers together. That on its own was enough to stop her, which I’d suspected.

“-- _No_.” My voice was even firmer than I thought it’d sound. “I want you to stay, in this car, and try to sleep. Can you please do that for me?”   
  


She sighed in frustration, “But what if there’s infected nearby? There’re all these buildings around and we can’t search them all, Doyeon and Hoseok are already out there, I should keep them safe--”

“--We’ll figure it out. If things get messy, you can help, but I think we can handle it. Okay?” I brushed my thumb along the back of her hand, noticing that it was shaking now. She was really that concerned. It was sweet, and it made me feel protected and safe to know that she cared so much, but she needed to sleep.

“Heejin...” She scooted closer to me, tilting her head, and she squeezed my hand tightly. “I just want to keep you and Doyeon safe. That’s all. I’m not tired, I promise--”

“--You don’t have to lie to me, you’re just a person. Just one person.” For some reason, it was like me telling her that made her upset. What, was she really gonna deny that she was only one person? “We’ll just be a minute. Can you please promise me you’ll try to sleep?” She shook her head slightly, “Just rest your eyes?” She still wasn’t on board. “For me?” That was the last push. She released her grip on me and sank dejectedly back into her seat. God. I felt like I’d just won an argument with a brick wall.

I got out of the car too. My ankle was feeling just a bit better now, after having rested it for a while. Doyeon and Hoseok were still in the station, but I didn’t hear any sort of commotion. Things were alright. We had to stay quiet. We weren’t on the highway anymore, we’d had to change our course once we found a map and realized the way to the coast. This station was in the middle of a small, tiny town. Nayoung was right, there were a lot of buildings lining both sides of the street, but there weren’t any real signs of life. I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad..

I hobbled toward the nearest pump and took the liberty of starting to fill the tank. It was weirdly liberating to watch the price go up and realize that we wouldn’t have to pay it. My heart sank slightly. Hyunjin would’ve gotten such a huge kick out of this if she was here, she used to ramble about gas prices all the time when she’d spend graveyard shifts with me at the restaurant. The tank had really been nearly empty. This was gonna take a bit. Nayoung watched me from inside, eying our surroundings. I tapped on the glass and playfully glared at her. She raised her hands up in defense and shut her eyes, leaning her head back. God. Still just as stubborn.

There was a small clamor from inside the station and I jumped where I stood. Uh oh. What was that? Nayoung got hyper-aware all of a sudden, and moved as if to get out of the car, but I motioned for her to stay still. Maybe it was just a small thing. Like, Hoseok had tripped or something. Right...?

No. After only a few seconds, there was another, even louder clamor, and an audible growling from inside. Fuck. There was an infected. I didn’t doubt that Doyeon and Hoseok could handle themselves to a degree, but that wasn’t the biggest problem here. It was the noise. I looked around at the other buildings, my whole body tense, remembering just how fast everything could fall apart. There were a few, lingering moments of tense silence, until finally I heard the growls. There were more. A lot more. From all over the street.

Doyeon and Hoseok burst from the station, and Nayoung burst from the car, axe ready. I was still pumping the gas. The tank wasn’t even close to full. It’d been less than a minute.

“Heejin!! Get _in!!_ ” Nayoung reached and grabbed my arm, but I stood my ground. The infected were out on the street by that point, rushing straight for us. Doyeon leapt into the driver’s seat and was struggling to start the engine on this hunk of junk car. Nayoung tugged against me, trying to haul me into the back seat with her.

The brief, fleeting moment I took to think was almost too long. Right as I moved to dive in the car, a rogue infected that’d sprinted at us from the station latched onto the back of my jacket. Nayoung still had her grip on my arm, and she pulled me with far more force, but the two of them grabbing me from both sides made me almost lose my footing. My already faulty ankle twisted awkwardly and I yelped from an unexpected jolt of pain shooting up my leg. _Fuck_ that hurt. Nayoung received a burst of strength from what must’ve been adrenaline, and finally managed to pull my top half inside with a grunt of exertion. She frantically tried to shut the door, but the infected was persistent and it latched onto my leg - teeth clawing against my shoe. It nearly tore the canvas of my sneaker.

Nayoung swung her axe so hard that it went straight through the infected’s head and cut a chunk off my shoe’s sole. I jolted in surprise. That was _way_ too close to actually chopping off my foot. Nayoung slammed the door shut and pulled me the rest of the way inside, wrapping her arms around me so tight I almost couldn’t breathe.

“I’m sorry. That was too close. I’m sorry.” She whispered hurriedly right into my ear.

Before I could respond, the infected reached our car. They hurled their body weight against all sides of it - rocking it on its wheels. The rear window was still shattered open from when we’d driven through the ruins of Nayoung’s town, and their rabid hands frantically shot through the opening - clawing at Nayoung’s back. I was so startled I literally fell onto the floor of the car ungracefully, my heart beating out of my chest. Nayoung did her best to slice at their arms and keep them from squirming their way into the back seat.

“ _DOYEON, DRIVE!!_ ” Nayoung called out as she used her axe’s handle to push against an infected’s shoulders. It’d gotten ground, using the back of the seats as leverage to try and pull itself inside. Fuck. I shut my eyes and covered my ears. I just wanted this to _stop_.

The engine was sputtering. Oh god, _please_. If it didn’t start, we were done for. I clenched my entire body up, curling into a sort of ball, wishing that I didn’t have to hear all their rabid _growling_ and _yelling_ \--

\--Finally, the engine revved to life. Oh thank _fuck_. Doyeon let out a quick breath of relief and slammed her foot on the gas. The car jolted forward and I heard the sound of a few infected bodies rolling over the hood and the windshield, one even getting pulled beneath the wheels. The car lurched, and the engine sputtered again, but it moved, and it kept moving. I didn’t open my eyes or come out of my defensive ball until I couldn’t hear the growls anymore. Until they were quiet, then distant, then not even audible.

The car was silent besides the sound of us all catching our breath. I stayed on the floor, curled up still. My heart was beating fast. My ankle throbbed. Another close call. So many fucking close calls. The canvas on my shoe was torn from where that infected had bit down. If my shoes were thinner, or if it’d bit higher, that’d be it. I’d be done. I’d never see Hyunjin again, I’d never find her.

“Heejin... hey, Heejin-ah, c’mere,” Nayoung reached down and lifted me up, literally supporting my whole weight as she tugged me up into the seat, and then into her lap. She was hugging me again, tight, against her. I could feel the way her heart was practically beating through her chest. Her strong arms were shaking. “You’re okay? Right?” I just nodded. “Thank god. Fuck, thank god...” She lightly kissed the top of my head, rocking the two of us back and forth.

I pulled slightly away, looking close at her eyes and the dark circles visible beneath them. “You-- did you get bit? Did you-- please-- you’re okay, right? None of them--”

“--No bites.” She told me firmly, sternly, so there was no room left for doubt. I stopped my panicked rambling, but still just felt so unstable. The day we’d been driving had been uneventful. I’d nearly forgotten how awful it could get, how bad I was at coping with this, how helpless I felt and how fast things happened. Nayoung always put herself in danger. For me, for anyone. It was so dangerous. Jinseok had gotten bit out of nowhere. We’d had no time to react, I didn’t even notice it. It happened so fast, then everything was over. My biggest fear, more than anything, was that it’d happen again and I wouldn’t be able to stop it.

I nodded at her, taking a deep, slow breath. She took one too. We both needed it.

“I’m fine too, thank you very much.” Doyeon piped up sarcastically from the front as she navigated the road. It was less abandoned than the highway, and she sometimes had to veer out of the way of debris and other cars.

Nayoung blinked a few times with glossy eyes before turning her head to Doyeon, “I know you’re fine, bitch, your lucky ass survives everything.” A smile played across her lips.

Doyeon laughed, a nervous, but air-lightening laugh that made the car feel way less dense. “Like how I almost broke my neck when those dumbasses on my squad dropped me from the top of the pyramid?”

Nayoung chuckled too, “You _definitely_ broke something, that was a _nasty_ fall.”

Doyeon shot her a playful glare in the rearview mirror, “I broke my wrist, but I played it off well! You could barely tell.”

“True, true! It was pretty impressive...” Nayoung shifted where she sat in the back, physically moving me to my own seat and taking the liberty of buckling me in. Oh right. Seat belts. Those were a thing. Her tone drastically shifted at her next words, “But seriously, Doyeon-ah, are you okay...? The noise from the station--”

“--I’m good. Just some infected we didn’t see. They knocked over a big ass shelf. We got one of them, guess we didn’t notice the other.” She met my eyes in the rearview mirror, “Sorry Heej. He’s the one that grabbed you I think.” My heart wrenched ever so slightly. Hyunjin would call me that. When we first started dating.

“It’s okay.” I muttered, looking out the window. It was honestly still hard to catch my breath.

“You’re a survivor too, huh?” Doyeon asked, shooting me a charming smile.

Nayoung clasped my hand tightly, “Damn right she is. We pulled her from a kitchen that was on _fire_. Heejin’s badass.” That was a bit of an exaggeration, but I’d take the praise.

Doyeon nodded, “You’re a badass too, Nayoung. In case you forgot.” Nayoung shrugged off the comment.

Hoseok sighed, running his hand down his face, “That was really fucking close. If those things don’t get me, a goddamn heart attack will.” He hunched over in his seat, burying his fingers into his hair.

Nayoung and Doyeon both nodded in unison. I smiled softly, “Look at that. We all agree on something.” Hoseok chuckled hollowly.

“Next step is for us to agree on something besides potential cardiac arrest.” Doyeon added on, leaning back in her seat.

Nayoung sighed quietly to herself and scooted to be against my side. Before I could ask why, her head was on my shoulder. And she was out, _cold_. Oh. I found myself smiling. She needed this sleep. Doyeon peeked in back again, as if to check on her friend, but once she saw that she was out cold, we all stayed dead silent.

***

“Ahh, _shit_.” Doyeon cursed under her breath to herself, snapping me out of my surprisingly relaxing train of thought. For once I wasn’t getting wrapped up in my own intense worry and concern - instead thinking about flippant things as I was relaxed by Nayoung’s soft, even breathing against the side of my neck.

“What is it?” I asked gently, not daring to raise my voice or even tilt my head too much for fear of waking Nayoung up. It’d only been an hour or so. She needed way more sleep than that. She stirred slightly and I stiffened, but she just sleepily nuzzled her nose further into my neck and curled up slightly against me.

Doyeon let out a whole string of curses, some of which were so vulgar I’d only ever heard Hyunjin say them after losing a match. She weakly slammed her fist down on the dash, “We’re basically out.”

Hoseok leaned over to the driver’s side, “Of gas??” Doyeon nudged him out of her personal space by his shoulder, “Fuck, are you kidding me?? Now??” The car was still moving, but notably slower. I wasn’t sure if Doyeon was trying to conserve gas, or if we were genuinely so low that we could barely even keep ourselves moving.

“Hey, I’m not psyched about it either.” Doyeon looked at Nayoung and I in the back seat, seeming dismayed that her friend was still out cold. Neither of us wanted to wake her if we didn’t have to. All of us were speaking in semi-hushed tones - even Hoseok.

“How much longer can we go for?” I asked, absentmindedly rubbing a soft circle against Nayoung’s forearm. She mumbled something sleepy against my skin and I stopped mid-motion, scared to wake her.

Doyeon pushed her hair out of her face, clearly frustrated and dismayed, “Not long. We’re literally running on empty.”

It was bound to happen. I just thought we’d have more time. “I’m sorry. I tried to get as much gas as I could back at the station, but--”

“--don’t apologize. It’s probably our fault for going in there in the first place. Should’ve pumped the gas first thing, _shit_.” Once she said it aloud she seemed to feel the regret more potently, glaring at her useless hindsight.

“Well we can’t run out of gas here, we need to make it to somewhere more open, at _least_ ,” Hoseok explained frantically, his voice starting to raise from his panic. I looked at our surroundings. We were still in a sort of suburban area. The remnants of a town. I didn’t trust even seemingly empty buildings anymore, not after what’d happened at the station. Fuck. If our car died here, in the middle of this road...

“Well I don’t have much of a fucking choice, do I?” She asked pointedly, gesturing at the gas meter. She was right. The most she could do was maybe pull over, but even that wouldn’t potentially help much. The engine sputtered slightly and we all tensed, but the car kept moving.

“Mmmm?” Nayoung mumbled weakly, blinking herself awake. Once she came to she recoiled from me, not having thought she was so close. I was more than okay with it, though - the clinginess actually reminded me of Hyunjin. “Hmm, what? Huh? Shit, how long as I out? I’m sorry--” She looked around where we were, disoriented but hefting her axe back into her hands.

“--Don’t you dare apologize for sleeping.” I scolded her gently. I felt notably colder now that she’d moved from my side.

She matched my gaze with warm eyes for a few moments, but didn’t address the comment beyond that. “We’re running out of gas, Nayoung-ah.” Doyeon informed her bleakly.

Nayoung sighed, “Well, that’s okay, once we get out of this town we can try to siphon some off from cars...” Her practical but unfortunately incorrect statement trailed off slowly, just as our engine sputtered its last breath. The car rolled to a slow stop.

“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck, shit fuck.” Doyeon cursed again, pressing her foot emphatically on the gas, but it did nothing. She tugged the keys from the ignition and reinserted them, trying to start it, but it was no use. We’d run dry.

“Well, that’s just great.” Hoseok threw his hands up, surprisingly sounding like he’d almost tried to make a sarcastic joke instead of his usual pessimism.

My chest tightened. For a minute or so, nobody said a word. A brisk breeze blew in through the broken back window at us. The seemingly empty buildings echoed eerily from it. I still didn’t trust it at all, letting my paranoid mind assume that there were infected waiting in ambush somewhere just out of sight. What were we supposed to do now? Walk? I didn’t want to give up this car. That was too risky. We’d gotten lucky with this one - the keys had been inside, no alarms had gone off, and it didn’t have any major damage. The same couldn’t necessarily be said about any of the others we could see on the street - there were mirrors knocked off, dents in the sides, dead bodies in the front seats that died from some sort of collision and set off the airbags.

I should help. They’d all been pulling my weight enough. If I stayed quiet, things would be fine. I unbuckled my seatbelt, the noise causing everyone’s eyes to move to me. “I can go look for gas.” I offered up readily.

Nayoung scoffed weakly, rubbing at one of her sleep-addled eyes, “Absolutely not.” I could tell from her tone that she wasn’t willing to debate this.

“But--”

“--No.” My flimsy attempt at protesting was totally pointless. “You almost died earlier. And your ankle’s still in bad shape, you twisted it a bit back there right?” Lying wouldn’t help anything, so I nodded slowly. It wasn’t irreparable damage or anything, I’d just undone a lot of the progress I’d made healing. “Then I definitely don’t want you walking on it if you don’t have to. Be smart, Heejin-ah.”

Ugh. She always knew just what to say. It was annoying. “...fine.” I leaned back in my seat, crossing my arms. She nudged my shoulder when she saw my pout, but I held the expression adamantly.

“Then I’ll go.” Doyeon piped up, already opening her door and starting to step outside.

Nayoung’s hand shot forward and she frantically caught Doyeon’s shoulder, holding her in place. “No, wait-- just...” She sighed, clearly having a hard time utilizing her normal strategizing considering she’d only woken up two minutes ago. Her motions were still slowed ever so slightly from drowsiness. “Nobody’s going anywhere by themselves, that’s stupid. Ok?” We all silently agreed on that. “But Heejin can’t come, and we can’t leave the car alone. If it gets stolen or something we’re fucked.” We also all agreed on that. Wow. This was an impressive amount of agreeing.

“Right, so...?” Hoseok trailed off. Clearly, he was waiting for Nayoung to tell us who’d stay and who’d go. She’d been in charge up until now, even when she was half asleep.

But shockingly, she just leaned back in her seat and buried her face in her hands for a few long moments. And when she looked back at the rest of us, her eyes fell straight to me. Oh. Was she leaving this up to me? That was... nice of her, but also out of character. Was she really that tired?

“Nayoung, can you stay with me...?” I asked meekly, not having even the slightest commanding edge to my tone like she did when she gave orders.

I expected her normal resistance and stubbornness, I expected to have to make my case and defend my position, but instead, Nayoung just nodded. Oh. She leaned further back into her seat, rubbing circles against one of her temples.

“Alright. Guess it’s you and me, then, sleazeball.” Doyeon announced, pushing her door open and stepping out. Hoseok mumbled a curse under his breath at her from the unpleasant nickname, but got out as well. They had a baton, and a bat, but part of me felt like that wasn’t enough.

“Wait,” I spoke up frantically. Hoseok paused, and I quickly fumbled for my pistol. I’d tucked it into the back of the seat, not wanting to sleep with it on me. He saw what I was doing and extended his hand, seeming impatient. “Take this. Be _safe_.” Once the gun was in his palm he tucked it into his pocket. He didn’t really respond to what I said beyond what might’ve been a nod before he and Doyeon walked off. Doyeon made sure to turn on her heel and shoot finger guns at Nayoung, who just rolled her eyes from the gesture. We both watched them closely until they left our sight - disappearing into an alleyway.

It was just us now. It had never really been just us before. Nayoung leaned against the car door at her side, facing me with the faintest trace of a smile. For a few dragging moments, we didn’t say anything. Just sat there, listening to the cold wind outside. Jinseok’s heavy, baggy sweater was more than enough to keep me warm.

My eyes drifted toward the wound I know Nayoung still had on her arm - despite her shirt’s sleeve covering up the bandage. And a question slipped past my lips, “How’re you--”

“--Don’t ask me how I’m doing.” She cut off my small voice before I could even finish the question. Oh.

“Why?” I scooted closer toward her, tilting my head. I wanted to hold her hand, but for some reason didn’t reach to do so.

That smile hadn’t quite left her lips yet, but it’d lessened, and when she spoke her next words, I realized it was bitter now. “You won’t like the answer.”

My chest tightened. Her tone was so... bleak. I didn’t like it. “Nayoung-ah...”

She took a deep, audible breath, her face falling. I think she realized I wasn’t going to let this go, and accepted that she’d have to open up at least slightly. She seemed too tired to keep deflecting my attempts at prying until I’d stopped. I think the only cure for her stubbornness was exhaustion. “I’m... glad we found Doyeon, _so_ glad, of _course_ , but...” She trailed off, leaving me to fill in the blanks.

It wasn’t hard to. Finding Doyeon, unharmed and safe, was practically a miracle - sure. But that didn’t mean that anything else had gone nearly as well. They’d both lost their entire town, their friends, and Nayoung had lost her parents. I couldn’t even imagine that, not to even mention what’d happened with Jinseok and how quickly all of these awful things were piling up. She’d had no time to process any of it. It made sense she was bottling up, but that didn’t make it healthy. “I know. I’m sorry.” 

She pursed her lips, shutting her eyes for a moment, “I... wasn’t ready for it. That’s all.” She didn’t need to explain herself, or try to make an excuse for struggling through something anyone would’ve struggled through.

“You can never really be ‘ready’ for something like that...” I told her softly, scooting close again. I rested my hand in the small space between us, showing her wordlessly that she could clasp it if she needed to. She didn’t. She also wasn’t meeting my eyes anymore. Almost like she was embarrassed to even talk about this.

“I know, but just... it hit harder than I thought. Jinseok too.” I couldn’t help but flinch when she said the name aloud. We hadn’t, not in days. I could barely even think it in my head, so hearing it? That hurt. I blinked hard, the image of his body going limp after I’d shot him lingering in my head. “Sorry. I... guess I shouldn’t bring him up.” That time she scooted closer. I think she saw how affected I was. I couldn’t help it.

I took a trembling breath - steadying myself enough to prevent my lip from quivering. “No, you can bring him up. He deserves to be remembered.” He deserved more than that, but remembering him was all we could do now.

A silence spread. Almost as if it was for him. I wasn’t sure what to say. I don’t even think I had anything to say. Eventually, she spoke, but her voice was so small and cautious I wondered if I’d imagined it at first. “I... wish we could’ve buried him.” I sniffled, nodding slowly, not trusting my words to be steady. “He’s just... sitting in that cell, still.” Her voice broke on the last word.

“Don’t think about that, Nayoung-ah.” I finally scooted closer, hating to see her so distraught, and I rested my hand on her cheek. It finally got her to look back at me, and I saw just how glossy her eyes were. “Don’t remember him like that. Remember the good parts. Not the bad.” My voice was just as strained as hers by that point. We hadn’t had enough time to properly process what’d happened to him. It felt... disrespectful, somehow, but what could we do?

“You’re right.” She sniffled, blinking the glossiness from her eyes, “Fuck. I’m losing it, here...” The shame I’d heard before was even more audible in her tone now, but still just as misplaced.

I brushed my thumb along her cheek gently, feeling it warm from the touch, “It’s okay to not be okay. You aren’t invincible.”

“I know, I know.” She reached up, rubbing at one of her eyes with a shaky, clenched fist. I tried to gently tilt her head to look at me, but she instead finally reached up and pulled my hand from her face - instead intertwining our fingers together. “I’ll cry later. When we get to the island. How’s that?”

I appreciated her out of character optimism in saying so confidently that we’d get to the island, but... “You don’t have to hold it in.”

She dipped her head low, her breathing a bit uneven. She was struggling, you could tell, and that was _fine_. Nothing to be embarrassed about. I wanted her to feel like she could talk about things. She _needed_ to talk about things. “I can’t really break down right now. We’re kinda in the middle of something.” She told me matter-of-factly, looking out the window back in the direction Doyeon and Hoseok had gone.

“I worry about you...” I sighed in reluctant defeat. I couldn’t force her to talk about it. You couldn’t really force Nayoung to do anything.

She shook her head slightly to herself, staring down at her own lap. “Why...?”

What kind of question was that? I almost asked, but instead jumped to answer her in the most honest, blunt way possible. “Because I care about you.” She said nothing to that, still not looking at me. A slight blush came to her cheeks. I didn’t care if my sentimentality was embarrassing her, instead scooting closer again. “You always keep me safe. And _I_ can’t really keep _you_ safe, so all I can do is worry... I wish I could help.”

Her eyes finally met mine at the brief mentioning of my own sense of inadequacy. She squeezed my hand tightly, “I protect you because I want to. Not because I expect anything back, but because I care about you too.” My chest got less tight from the reciprocated affection. I’d wondered if it was just on my end for a few moments, but I could tell from her actions alone that she definitely cared. Still... it was nice to hear. “Heejin, you and Doyeon are literally the only two things keeping me here.” She muttered that small addition, as if not quite even wanting me to hear it. But I had.

“Huh?” Her wording... caught me off guard. I didn’t like it. “What do you--”

My question was cut short by the sound of a gunshot. It came from the buildings to our right - the same ones Doyeon and Hoseok had gone toward.

“Fuck--” Without hesitation, Nayoung moved to try and throw the door open, but I stopped her - gripping tightly onto the back of her jacket.

“--Wait! Nayoung-ah, we can’t leave the car!” I tried to persuade her, and shockingly, she listened. She clutched her axe with white knuckles, visibly antsy, and now I was too. Who had shot? What had gone wrong? Was there an infected? Or a ton of them? Were Hoseok and Doyeon in a safe place where they wouldn’t draw more from dozens of miles around? Had they found gas? Were they coming back now? We had next to no information besides that a gun had been fired. That was barely anything to work with.

She groaned in frustration, instead moving to vault herself into the driver’s seat. I felt exposed in the back by myself like that, waiting for whatever shitstorm was about to descend on us. I scooted close to the window, practically pressing my face against the glass, watching with wide eyes and bated breath for Hoseok and Doyeon to burst back out from that alleyway. Nayoung kept on trying to start the engine, desperate, her muffled cursing just turning into background noise.

Until finally, I saw Hoseok. He had a gas canister in one hand. Thank _god_. He scrambled to the car, frantic, and started to fill the tank with whatever he’d gotten. His face was scratched up - something had dug its nails into the skin of his cheek, and he was limping. Shit. After a few, tense, dreadfully suspenseful moments, Nayoung tried to start the engine again - and the car revved to life. My heart was beating through my chest.

That was when _dozens_ of infected all started to swarm out of the same alley Hoseok had come - charging the car in one massive horde. Shit shit _shit_.

“ _Where’s Doyeon?!”_ Nayoung shouted at Hoseok as he clamored into the passenger’s seat. He said nothing, tossing the empty gas canister down by his feet and buckling his seatbelt with shaky hands. **“** ** _Where’s Doyeon?!”_** Nayoung yelled louder, reaching over and grabbing his arm with blatant force. He winced. I saw just how terrified he looked. His eyes were wide, more visibly rattled than I’d ever seen him before. “ _Where is she?!_ ” More than anything, I think he was stunned - so much so that he literally couldn’t speak. He stammered out parts of words, but nothing coherent came out.

The infected finally reached our car, slamming their weight against it and punching their fists against the windows. The car almost tipped on its wheels from the sheer force of that many infected pressing against it on one side. Hoseok yelped, hiding his head in his hands. He was shaking. Nayoung just stared at the horde - at their bloody faces and white eyes. I didn’t know what to do, what to say, what to think. Everything seemed like it’d fallen apart so irreparably I didn’t know how to even begin to piece it back together, but more than anything, I felt helpless. Again.

Nayoung growled in guttural, overwhelming frustration and slammed her foot on the gas. The engine sputtered, but the car moved. We sped off down the street. Out of that town.

With one less person.

***

They chased us for a while. The sun had started to set. We just kept driving and driving - Nayoung speeding fast with her foot pressed all the way down on the gas pedal. Nobody said a single word. Hoseok was breathing unevenly, staring down at his hands. My mind was absolutely fried. This didn’t even seem real anymore.

Eventually, Nayoung pulled into an empty, abandoned parking lot attached to what used to be some big department store, and got out - slamming her door shut so hard that it made the entire car shake. Hoseok and I just sat for a second or two, still so thrown off and overwhelmed. Nayoung stormed around to his side of the car, threw the door open, and pulled him out by his collar. Uh-oh.

I scrambled out too, realizing I might have to mediate, but my brain was so addled with sadness and distress and confusion, I wasn’t sure how well I’d be able to do it. This was all just so _much_ , so _fast_.

Nayoung’s eyes were glossy. Her teeth were bared, practically snarling her words, but you could see it came from immeasurable distress. “ _What the_ ** _fuck_** _happened?!”_ She pressed a bit too hard against his neck, making him gag. When she realized she was being too rough for him to even properly speak, she tossed him aggressively to the pavement and put some distance between them, starting to frantically pace in odd semi-circles.

Hoseok coughed, trying to catch his breath and stand. I watched him struggle, unsure if I should offer help - so I didn’t.

“Get the fuck _up_!” Nayoung literally shrieked at him, her voice breaking from her intense volume. I flinched from the sound. Thankfully this lot was absolutely abandoned. She wouldn’t draw anything - there was nothing to hear us.

He clutched at his neck, “S-She, she got hurt, we got overwhelmed and--”

Nayoung wouldn’t let him get a word in, “What do you _mean_ you got _‘overwhelmed,’_ you’re _supposed to look out for each other,_ you should’ve kept her _safe_ \--”

“--I was _trying_ , they came out of nowhere and--” Hoseok staggered to his feet, grimacing upon doing so and using the car for support as he stood.

Nayoung cut him off again, stepping threatening closer and making Hoseok cower, “You’re limping too and you got away!! So why wouldn’t she have been able to if you--”

“--they grabbed her--”

“--then why’d you shoot?? _You shot her, didn’t you?!_ ” Nayoung’s accusation rang out across the lot, seeming to echo more ominously than any of her other words had. My stomach dropped right along with my jaw.

Hoseok balked at the suggestion, eyes wide and panicked, “What?!”

Nayoung didn’t back down. Not for a second, “ _You shot her!_ ”

“I--” Hoseok shook his head, stunned, but he kept getting overpowered by Nayoung’s ferocity. She was practically rabid.

She stepped closer again, jabbing her finger against his chest, “ _You never liked her anyway, you two were always fighting! I bet you were just waiting for a fucking excuse to leave her to die, is that it?!”_ My chest was so tight it felt like I couldn’t breathe.

Hoseok tried to defend himself one last time, “That’s--”

Nayoung grabbed him by his shirt again and brought her fist back, but I finally surged closer and grabbed her arm before she could swing it. She stopped in her tracks, looking at me with those angry, glossy eyes, “ _STOP_.” I tried to yell and match their raised volumes, but all it did was make my voice break. I felt like I was going to crumble away into nothing, this was all so _much._ “Fuck, just _stop_ , _please_.”

I didn’t know who to believe or what to think. Nayoung was so upset and enraged she was being irrational, but Hoseok’s story had been vague and had holes from what I’d heard from it so far. The most prevalent thought in my jumbled, bustling mind was that Doyeon wasn’t there. And she should’ve been.

Nayoung grunted in frustration and threw Hoseok unforgivingly to the pavement again, before storming off. She walked until she was out of earshot, pacing, her face buried into her hands. I stared after her, not knowing if I should follow or not. Just when I was about to, though, I heard Hoseok sniffle.

He was on all fours on the pavement, hunched over with shaking shoulders. I watched as he got unsteadily to his feet, staggering to lean against and then sit on the hood of the car. I slowly, cautiously approached, unsure of what I was doing. Once I was in front of him, he handed me back my pistol with a violently trembling hand. I readily took it - startlingly relieved that he didn’t have it anymore.

That was when he started crying. Oh. My chest tightened. It wasn’t much - some stray tears trailing down his cheeks and dripping from his jaw, but he partially hid his face with one blood splattered hand and visibly blushed from his own vulnerability. I didn’t know what to say, or if he even wanted me to say anything. Until finally, he spoke. And unlike Nayoung, I didn’t interrupt him.

“The infected came a-and we both fell down some steps, s-she got her ankle cut on some glass-- i-it was a deep cut Heejin, I-I tried to help her walk but she told me not to touch her, but her cut was worse than how I hit my knee so she was slower.” He took a deep, much needed breath - rambling all that out in what must’ve been five seconds. His face was contorted into a devastated expression, but there still weren’t many tears. “That was it, s-she was just a little slower, and that was enough for them to grab her and pull her down and...” He sniffled again, wiping away the few tears on his cheeks, “I-I couldn’t do anything. I shot one of them, I-I wasn’t thinking, I just shot it, a-and it died but there were so _many_. I couldn’t save her, Heejin-ah, I _couldn’t_ ** _save_** ** _her_**...”

It felt so strange to see him vulnerable like this. It was so wildly out of character. He’d barely even flinched when telling Nayoung about his own sister who’d died, and now he was shedding tears over Doyeon - someone he butted heads with more than any of us? It was surreal. I.... wasn’t sure what he wanted me to do. I believed him. I did. But the explanation was just... it hurt.

All I did was reach forward, and gently place a hand on his shoulder. He flinched from the contact, startled by it at first, but then rested his hand atop mine - leaving blood on my skin. I subtly recoiled, wondering just whose blood it was. He held his head in his hands, hunched over on the hood of the car, and I left him that way. I just... needed to think.

Nobody talked to anyone else that night. Hoseok eventually shut himself back in the car - laying in the back seat to sleep. I took the liberty of tugging a sleeping bag we’d found at the rest stop from the trunk and laid it out on the pavement. I didn’t want to sleep in there with him. I felt safe sleeping outside here - there were enough scattered cars in the lot so that if any infected did wander past, they wouldn’t hear or even spot us unless we got unlucky. Part of me just didn’t care anymore.

Nayoung slowly walked back over as the hours dragged on. Her anger and rage had faded - dwindling down to what I really knew it was: absolute devastation. She looked... hollow. Empty. Broken. It made me feel like someone had ripped my heart straight out of my chest. As soon as she was in reach, I hugged her, and she let me. She didn’t return the embrace, just stood there, her whole body shaking so hard it spread even to me. There weren’t any words that came to mind that would make this okay, that would even make this bearable, so I didn’t say any.

We squeezed into the same sleeping bag. After I’d hugged her, she wouldn’t get further than an inch from me - literally sticking to my side. Whatever she needed, I’d readily give to her if I could. She hid her face in my shoulder, balling up fistfuls of Jinseok’s sweatshirt I still wore. She was shaking so hard. And when I reached to gently pull her closer to me, she let out her first sob.

My heart wrenched. I felt my own eyes stinging terribly, but I swallowed it down. Her grip tightened so hard it nearly hurt. “S-She was all that was left.” Nayoung whispered weakly against me, curling up slightly, “Now there’s nothing.”

I shook my head, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak. This was just... too much. I had no idea how to cope with this myself, let alone how to help Nayoung. I _wish_ I did. _Fuck_ , did I wish I could help. Instead, I wrapped my arms more fully around her as she cried and cried and _cried_ , until her body went limp from exhaustion.

I stared at the dark, cloudy sky for what must’ve been hours, tracing my trembling fingers through her hair. This time, I couldn’t sleep. My mind wouldn’t let me be. Not even for a second. I felt like this was all my fault somehow. Even if it was just something as simple as, if Nayoung had never met me, Doyeon might be alive. For once, I didn’t cry. I kept it all in - going directly against my own advice from earlier. I couldn’t help it. I felt like I had no right to cry.

I just wished Hyunjin was here.

***

I watched with lidded eyes as the sun drifted across the sky and the stars faded. Nayoung’s tight grip somehow remained that way even in her sleep. At one point it softened, only to then wrench the fabric in her grasp suddenly and for her to scoot even closer. I hoped she wasn’t having bad dreams. She deserved sleep - pure, uninterrupted sleep.

I flinched in surprise when the car door was suddenly opened. Hoseok stepped out unevenly, still looking off. I couldn’t blame him, we all probably looked like shit. His eyes moved to Nayoung and I, lingering more specifically on her. I just stared up at him blankly. He sighed, moving to open the trunk and grab something to eat. He offered me a bag of chips but I shook my head. I’d lost my appetite. I sort of found it odd that he hadn’t too.

Nayoung mumbled something, inhaling sharply in her sleep. I muttered a soft, “Shh,” before lightly kissing her forehead, not having expected her to flinch from the contact. Her eyes shot open suddenly and she jolted, shooting to sit bolt upright.

“Hey, hey--” I tried to calm her down as I sat up along with her.

“Doyeon?” She asked, meeting my eyes. My already broken heart shattered into even more shards. She sounded so hopeful. As if she genuinely believed yesterday had been nothing but a sick nightmare, and that Doyeon would hop out of the car, safe and sound. I couldn’t bring myself to speak, or to even respond. I didn’t have it in me to confirm that. She took my lack of a response and the way my face fell as all the answer she needed, though, and I watched bitterly as the spark of hope extinguished behind her gaze. She buried her face into her hands and dug her fingers into her hair.

I rubbed my hand up and down her back, knowing it wouldn’t do much, if anything at all, but wanting her to know that I was still there. We could audibly hear Hoseok eating chips while he hovered on the other side of the car. He was probably too scared to get near Nayoung now that she was awake, which was warranted. She’d almost killed him the night before. If I hadn’t been there, she probably would’ve beaten him to a pulp at the very least.

Nayoung exhaled shakily, startling me again by getting to her feet and helping me to mine. Once she was up, she started to slowly pace - back and forth, like clockwork. I could practically hear her mind racing, and I didn’t dare interrupt. She was still in charge. She’d always been. We weren’t going to do anything until she told us to. And I think she knew that.

Hoseok finished his snack and dared to round the corner, looking at Nayoung and I again. Once Nayoung saw him, she paused mid-step. Uh-oh. I got ready to stop her if she charged him, but she didn’t. Instead just stared, hard, for long, lingering minutes. He remained stiff as a statue, looking almost like he was about to bolt. Neither of them moved. That old rage was coming back to Nayoung’s face - that intense, grief-driven rage.

Finally, she spoke - her tone decisive and unwavering, “We have to go get her body.”

The air grew dense. I thought back to what she’d said the day before - about Jinseok’s body, and how all she wanted to do was bury him. That’d been such a valid, simple desire. The absolute least she could be given, and she’d already been denied it once. She should at least have it this time.

Hoseok, though? He barely hesitated. “What? Nayoung that’s suicide. You saw how many there were.” His previous stammering and uncertainty seemed to have faded overnight, along with any traces of that vulnerability he’d shown me.

She glared intensely at him, heading toward the driver’s seat, “Yeah, and we probably led most of them away when they followed our car.”

He followed her every step of the way, trying with a peculiar desperation to dissuade her, “But there’s probably even more in that town, we--”

Nayoung spun on her heel, facing him directly and getting inches from his face. His determination wavered and he stepped down, but he’d already pissed her off. “What? Don’t want me to see the bullet you put in her?” She sneered with disgust, as if even being that close to him was enough to make her sick.

I stepped closer, “Nayoung-ah... hear him out, okay?” Hoseok hadn’t told her what he’d told me the night before. She didn’t get to hear the explanation for what’d happened, so I understood why she was so angry, but she didn’t have the full story. At first, her glare shifted to me, seeming almost betrayed - but the longer it lingered, the softer it became.

Hoseok took his chance to speak, stepping slightly back from Nayoung’s hostility, “We drove such a-a long way, i-it’d be stupid to turn around and go back--” He was stammering again, but it didn’t seem to be from distress like last night. It seemed... panicked. Desperate.

Nayoung was absolutely unfazed by it, “I’m not leaving her to _rot_.” She spoke the last word through clenched teeth, her anger so intense it was thinning her composure. “I won’t.” That statement was spoken with far less rage. Her voice got small, and her glare faded. I watched as she took a deep breath and moved to get behind the wheel, “I’m going with or without you.”

I didn’t hesitate to move, sitting in the passenger’s seat. If Hoseok didn’t want to come, he didn’t have to. For a moment or two, he didn’t move. I wondered if he really was just going to stay there, by himself, but that’d be ridiculous. He was smarter than that. After a moment or two, he reluctantly moved to the back seat, buckling himself in and crossing his arms. Nayoung seemed utterly indifferent about him coming, not addressing his entry at all. She just started the engine and drove back the way we’d come.

***

The town was empty, just like before. We’d led away the infected who’d chased us pretty effectively. They were gone. Nayoung slowed down once we were within its boundaries again, eventually bringing the car to a stop right where we’d run out of gas the day before. She turned off the engine and took a long, deep breath, shutting her eyes for a few moments.

Hoseok surprisingly started to protest again. I wasn’t sure what he was trying to accomplish - we were here already, so there was no point going back now. “We shouldn’t be here--”

“--Will you shut the fuck _up?”_ Nayoung snapped. I didn’t bother trying to mediate the two, or to alleviate the tension. There was no real point now. Nayoung had gotten her way. Hoseok couldn’t change anything.

His lips parted but he smartly decided against saying anything else. Nayoung sighed in frustration and stepped out of the car. I followed, hugging my pistol tightly to my chest. I didn’t want to use it if I didn’t have to. That’d just be a repeat of the day before. Nayoung made a beeline for the alleyway we’d watched Hoseok and Doyeon head into, but it branched off into a bunch of different directions.

“Which way?” Nayoung asked, clutching her axe with white knuckles. I stuck close behind her, my heart in my throat. Hoseok didn’t respond. He’d broken into what looked like a cold sweat, beads of it visibly dotting his upper lip. Was he really that scared to be here...? Nayoung turned to look at him, “ _Which way?”_ Her voice got harsher. This wasn’t up for debate.

“Left.” He finally managed out, seeming so intensely frustrated with the situation at hand, but like he was trying to keep it under control.

Nayoung listened to the direction immediately. When we reached another crossroads, she looked pointedly at Hoseok, and he instructed her. It went on two, three more times, my heartbeat quickening with every new turn. I was so absolutely terrified of what we’d find. I didn’t think I was ready for it. But more importantly, I didn’t think Nayoung was ready for it.

Hoseok spoke up in a quiet whisper after we headed across a street and were about to turn into another alley, “This is where we got overrun...” I couldn’t quite read his tone.

Nayoung stopped suddenly and pressed against the nearest wall, holding out her arm so I stopped too. At first I didn’t quite understand why, but that was when I heard it. Growling. It was only from one infected, though - not overlapping growls from multiple. We could handle one.

Nayoung gestured silently for me to wait. I did - watching tensely as she took a step forward, axe ready--

\--but she froze. Her face fell, eyes wide, and she lowered her axe just as her lip started to quiver. What? Why’d she stop? I moved to be at her side, my pistol raised, ready to keep us safe if it was left up to me. But then I saw what she had.

It was Doyeon. Her back was to us, but it was Doyeon. Infected. She walked without direction, slow, twitching like they always did. Her bat was visible on the ground, forgotten further down the alley. There was blood splattered on the nearby walls. If she turned around, she’d charge us, but she seemed... aimless. Was this what infected were like when they didn’t have anything to chase? Just... wandering? That was so sad. It was always hard to think of them as people. Even when I watched Jinseok turning right before my eyes, he still seemed human. Now? Seeing Doyeon like that? It reminded me that all of those monsters who chased us so relentlessly used to be people, and could be us. A tear rolled down my cheek but I barely noticed. I’d gone numb.

Nayoung wasn’t moving. She just stared, eyes wide. This was too much for her. I think we’d both expected Doyeon to just be... gone. Not infected. We’d never prepared for this, and again, I felt so utterly helpless. Doyeon twitched, growling, making strange, inhuman gurgling noises in the back of her throat as her head lolled on her neck. We... needed to do something. Nayoung gripped her axe a bit more tightly, but her lip still quivered.

I moved to gently rest my hand on Nayoung’s forearm, whispering softly for only her to hear, “It’s not her anymore.” It was true. We had to remind ourselves of that. They looked like people, but they weren’t anymore. They were something else. Doyeon was something else now.

Nayoung took a deep breath, tears visibly clinging to her eyelashes, and she nodded at me. Swallowing hard, she stepped closer. And closer. And she raised her axe high again with shaky hands. But then she stopped still suddenly, right behind the monster that used to be her best friend. Uh-oh. Did she need help? Was this overwhelming her?

All of my concern was dismissed when Nayoung abruptly brought that axe forward in one sweeping swing - embedding it deeply into Doyeon’s skull. Doyeon’s body was thrown to the side from the momentum, crumbling to a heap on the ground, and she didn’t move anymore. It was done. We all stared at the corpse as blood slowly pooled from the fresh wound. Doyeon’s face, though her skin was pale and her eyes disturbingly white, it... still looked like her. My chest felt so indescribably hollow, while somehow hurting at the same time.

Nayoung started breathing rapidly, running her hand down her face. Without a second thought I surged against her, wrapping my arms around her middle from behind, and she leaned into the contact. She felt shaky and unstable like the night before, but she knew she had to keep it together. This wasn’t the place to break down. We still had to bury her. Instead, she took a few much needed seconds to breathe, and gently pried my hands away. I let her, loosening my grip. Part of that hug had been to comfort her, but another had been because I needed one too.

Nayoung swiped her thumbs beneath her eyes, ridding herself of tears before I could even see any, and looked at Doyeon’s body. I watched as she scanned it up and down thoroughly, trying to seem detached, but how on earth could you not be affected - staring at the corpse of someone who was so important to you?

Finally, she seemed satisfied. I hadn’t been sure what she was looking for, that is until she turned to face Hoseok with a slight sneer and spoke, “No bullet wounds. Guess you’re off the hook.” She seemed so indifferent about that statement. I think if the situation had been different, she would’ve prefaced her words with an apology for her earlier outbursts, but she didn’t. I wasn’t gonna ask her to. I was a bit distracted, anyway, because I’d mustered the courage to really look at Doyeon’s body. And I was speechless.

She was littered in bite marks. They were all over - her neck, her arms, her legs. Blood splattered her clothes. It really looked like she’d gotten overwhelmed in this alleyway. Hoseok had said this was where it’d happened. She must’ve turned after we’d driven off, and was too far away to be drawn by the noise, so she just wandered around this small space, alone and aimless. I looked around a bit. There was a short set of stairs further down the alley - near to where Doyeon’s bat lay forgotten. Those must’ve been where the two had fallen - where Hoseok had hurt his knee and Doyeon had gotten her ankle cut. At the thought, my eyes instinctively went back to her body and down toward her feet--

\--only to feel my stomach drop straight into my shoes.

Her ankles were fine. There weren’t any cuts. Wait... what? But Hoseok had said...

I replayed the story he’d told me the night before over and over again in my head, and it was unmistakable: he’d said that she couldn’t keep up because of a cut on her ankle. But then where was it? If it was deep enough to prevent her from walking, I should be able to see it, but they were virtually untouched. I quickly looked up and down the alley again. The only body here was Doyeon’s. Hoseok had said he’d shot and killed one of the horde in a panic, that’s why he’d fired the gun. But there wasn’t any infected body in sight. Not one, besides Doyeon’s. What...?

This didn’t make sense. None of it. Nothing was adding up. I got a bad taste in my mouth. So, what did this mean, then? I looked toward Hoseok. He was visibly sweating - more so than before - arms crossed and staring down at the pavement, as if disinterested. How could someone be so indifferent about this...? He knew Doyeon too. Unless he was just faking his disinterest. But why would he do that...?

“Alright. Can we go?” He spoke in a cold, definitive tone. It felt like I couldn’t even breathe. He met my eyes for a quick moment, and there was something different behind them that made my blood run cold.

Nayoung took a deep breath and bent down, gently shutting Doyeon’s eyes with her fingertips. My heart wrenched, but my mind was still absolutely reeling. I watched as she lifted Doyeon carefully into her arms and slowly walked off the way we’d come, but made sure to do something before we left: grab Doyeon’s bat. As I neared the steps, though, I noticed something else. There wasn’t any broken glass in sight. None. That’s what Hoseok said Doyeon had cut herself on. My whole body was shaking.

What did this mean...?

***

Nayoung pulled over in a small section of woods and enlisted my help in digging a shallow hole. It was the best we could do. We buried her at the base of a tree, carving a small epitaph into the bark. I’d found a few stray weeds that sort of resembled flowers. It was a makeshift grave and an unceremonious funeral, if you could even call it that. But at least Doyeon wouldn’t just be left to rot, forgotten. Or even worse, just a face among the horde.

Nayoung knelt down at the newly disturbed dirt, placing her hand gently on the ground. She’d been surprisingly steady as we dug the grave, and even as we laid Doyeon down into it. But now? She was coming undone. I could see. And I empathized, of course I did, but there was something nagging at the back of my mind relentlessly.

Hoseok had lied. There was no other way to construe it. The longer I sat with it, the more certain I became: he lied to me, a bold-faced lie, probably trying to earn my sympathy so I’d defend him from Nayoung’s threats. The worst part? It’d worked. It made me feel sick to my stomach, he’d played me like a fiddle. I didn’t know what’d happened to Doyeon exactly. She’d definitely gotten overwhelmed, that much was obvious from all the bite marks, but Hoseok wasn’t telling the truth about whatever had come before. And the only reason to do that was if he’d done something wrong. I didn’t trust him anymore. Not in the slightest. I wondered just how he got that wound. And the scratch on his cheek. He watched us as we dug the grave, citing his wounded knee as his reason for not helping.Nayoung had been too bereaved to protest, and I was just glad he stood away from us - feeling safer with him at a distance.

This was a problem. He must’ve known that I noticed the inconsistencies in his story, and that scared the shit out of me. I didn’t know what to expect from him anymore, what he was capable of. I thought I’d known him. Now I wasn’t so sure. He was dangerous.

Nayoung knew absolutely none of this. She didn’t know I was suspicious, or that Hoseok’s story didn’t line up. She was innocently grieving for her friend, oblivious. Hoseok was still a bit of a distance away - hovering with the car whose headlights cut a path through the fog that’s started to settle upon us. All I could really see was his eerie silhouette leaning against the hood. He held Doyeon’s bat in his hand.

“Nayoung...” I spoke up softy, making my voice hushed. I didn’t want Hoseok to hear. She didn’t respond, instead just brushing the dirt from her hands and sighing heavily. She was wrapped up in her own grief. That was totally understandable, she had every right. But she also deserved to know the truth. She shouldn’t be oblivious. It wasn’t safe. “Nayoung-ah...”

“What?” She asked weakly. I knelt down despite the way my ankle throbbed from the motion, moving to be flush against her side. This was hard. I felt like I needed to comfort her, while simultaneously warning her about something that might be dangerous. I didn’t know how to balance it.

“I... um, last night, Hoseok told me what happened...” She nodded slowly, sniffling. There were a few stray tears that ghosted silently down her cheeks every now and then. She just stared down at the dirt, as if she could still see Doyeon’s strangely peaceful face beneath it. “He... said that Doyeon cut her ankle up on some glass, which was why she slowed down and got overwhelmed...” I glanced at Hoseok. He was casually twirling the bat in his hands. My chest tightened.

“What’s your point...?” She asked me, her voice strained.

I took a deep breath, “There um... I... didn’t see any cuts on her ankles.” I finally told her. I prayed she understood, just from that alone. I didn’t have it in me to say anything else. Just the thought of it made me sick and... _terrified._ Saying it aloud made it worse somehow, made it real that someone could be so awful, so... _twisted_.

She fell silent. Her face changed. The devastation and sadness there, it was gone. Faded into nothing. Her expression was worryingly blank as she stared down at the ground. She still trembled. I turned to face her more directly, staring deeply into her eyes and trying to see what she was thinking. I couldn’t.

“Nayoung... hey. Listen to me, okay?” I gently clasped both of her hands. I was in front of her, but it was like she was staring straight through me. “Nayoung? Just take a breath, okay? Don’t--”

It was no use. Absolutely no use. Part of me knew that, but I was trying to counteract the rage I knew was about to destructively erupt from her. It didn’t work, though. Not even a little.

She shot to her feet, ripping her hands roughly from my grasp and heading straight for Hoseok. No no _no_ , I didn’t want this. She was too angry. She wasn’t thinking straight. She’d left her axe here on the ground next to the grave. She wasn’t even armed, and as terrifying as it was to think, I felt like she should be. I scooped the heavy axe up clumsily into my hands, scrambling up after her, but she reached him before I did. She latched onto his collar like she had the night before, hoisting him off his feet and slamming him against the hood of the car. I winced, my own spine hurting just from watching that.

_“What the_ ** _fuck_** _did you do to her, you_ ** _rat?!_** _”_ Nayoung screamed inches from his face, bending him backward in a way that he probably shouldn’t be bending. He still had his bat in his hand. I found myself stunned, watching with wide eyes, feeling rooted to the spot from my own terror.

“ _Nothing._ ” He still insisted. He wasn’t taking the traumatized, grieving stance anymore - instead glaring at Nayoung indignantly.

I stepped closer, finding my throat so incredibly tight I almost couldn’t speak, “You’re _lying_. You-you’re a _liar_.” My vision blurred suddenly from tears of what I knew was betrayal. I’d trusted him more than anyone else in the group had. He’d saved my life once, and that wasn’t something you tended to forget.

His harsh gaze turned to me. And this man, this... awful, _disgusting_ man, dared to look betrayed. Like _I’d_ betrayed _him_. What, had he expected me to keep his secret? Why the fuck would I ever do that? Nayoung glanced at me too, distracted for a moment--

\--and Hoseok took his chance as soon as he saw it. Though not without struggle, he shoved Nayoung away. She staggered a bit, caught off guard from the hard push. He’d never fought back like this before. Neither of us had expected it. I also didn’t expect him to grip the bat with both hands and swing it hard against Nayoung’s stomach.

I gasped, taking an instinctive step away. Oh my god. Nayoung sputtered, doubling over. Hoseok was panting like a wild animal. I literally couldn’t believe what I’d just seen. It felt like I was in a nightmare or something. Had it really come to this? Hurting each other? Getting each other killed? What was left now, if we couldn’t even trust one another? 

Nayoung wasn’t nearly as stunned. She was just furious. She charged him again, bringing her fist straight against his face. He fumbled, crying out, but before Nayoung could land another blow, he swung the bat a second time. It slammed unforgivingly against Nayoung’s wounded arm and she cursed, recoiling. Blood visibly trailed from her sleeve and down off her fingers.

“Nayoung!” I stepped closer, trying to intervene somehow, but Hoseok swung the bat toward me when he saw me approaching. I barely jumped out of the way - a jolt of pain shooting through my ankle from the sudden motion. Some lingering part of me left over from before the world ended didn’t want to kill him. He was a person still. Killing people was different from infected, even if they were shitheads. Maybe we could just hurt him, subdue him. I tried to raise the axe I held, “D-Don’t! Stay back or I’ll--” It was so heavy. He noticed the way my arms trembled just from lifting it, and he used it to his advantage.

Hoseok was big. Bigger than Nayoung, and _way_ bigger than me. I tensed up - not wanting him to hurt me, but he actually did worse. He ripped the axe from my hands, ramming his shoulder against me in the process. I yelped, falling hard to the dirt. He dropped Doyeon’s bat. That blade could do way more damage. I hefted the bat into my hands, struggling to my feet, but the two were already fighting again before I could even stand.

“You _fucker!_ ” Nayoung charged him a second time, wrapping her arms around his waist and pinning him to the ground. She was fuming with rage, all of her motions savage and desperate. She brought her fist against his wounded cheek again and again, his nose bloody. But he knew he was fighting for his life, and it made him desperate.

He struggled until he finally managed to flip their positions, pinning her to the ground. Nayoung saw that he wielded her axe and tried to pull it from him, while he was trying to press the blade into her neck. She was at a disadvantage - unable to get a good grip on the axe to keep it from her skin. My morals didn’t matter anymore. I needed to do something, _anything_.

I didn’t think. I just needed him off her. I swung the bat as hard as I could, the wood slamming against his skull and knocking him off with such momentum that he was sent crashing into the front of the car. He laid on the ground, still conscious, but his head was bleeding. Nayoung tried to catch her breath. There was a small slice on her neck. I didn’t look at how deep the wound was, because all I could see was red.

I wasn’t thinking. There was nothing in my brain, just a burning rage and panic in my chest that made me feel like I was on fire. I brought the bat back again, bringing it down in the same place I’d struck before - the spot already bleeding. Hoseok jolted back, trying to get away, but I hit him again. He sputtered blood, gurgling out the start of a word, but I hit him again. And again. And again. And again and again and _again_ , until I couldn’t even see his face anymore.

Nayoung stopped me. She grabbed me by the waist and that pulled me out of it. I blinked, not realizing there were tears in my eyes. His blood was all over me, all over the bat, the car, the ground. Everywhere. I was panting from the exertion but I barely even felt it, adrenaline pumping through me so fast that my heart hammered tangibly against my chest. I looked at what I’d done, at what used to be Hoseok, and I fell to my knees.

Nayoung followed me down, wrapping me in her arms. I just stared. I’d killed him. I could’ve stopped, could’ve hurt him so bad he couldn’t fight, but I hadn’t. I kept going. His corpse laid there, his face little more than a pile of unrecognizable gore. I let the bat roll from my hands. Nayoung was talking, she was saying things to me softly right into my ear, but they were muffled, like everything was underwater.

I couldn’t believe it. That wasn’t me. I wasn’t that type of person. What had happened...? Where had I gone...? I didn’t recognize myself for those moments, I’d barely been in control. Which was _so_ scary.

What was this world turning us into?


	28. The Mall

**_Vivi_ **

I considered myself as having pretty high levels of endurance, but all this incessant walking was wearing me out. Yeojin shockingly wasn’t complaining. She had a skip in her step, actually - walking between Chaewon and Yerim while holding both of their hands. She kept rambling on about nothing, but surprisingly, she’d shut up if either of the other girls had something to say. I found myself repeatedly checking the rounds in my clip, almost like a nervous tic. I did it so frequently that Jinsol finally noticed - having been walking at my side. She reached closer and rested her hand against mine - stopping me midmotion when I checked it for approximately the fortieth time in the past hour. 

“You have four. Still just four.” She told me softly under her breath, shooting me one of her charming smiles.

I sighed, “I know. The repetition relaxes me.” I’d always been a creature of habit. Even if sometimes the habit was detrimental - like only getting four hours of sleep before a full shift at work, or eating only instant ramen for three days. 

Jinsol nodded in understanding, “That makes sense, but can I politely say that you’re stressing me out?”

I chuckled lightly, “Yes. You have every right.” I tucked my pistol away, adjusting my glasses. “Sorry. I’ll stop, you big baby.” 

She glowered slightly with a faint blush, “I’m not-- that’s-- I just don’t wanna be reminded of how little ammo we have every three seconds!” She nudged my shoulder playfully. 

Before I could retort, Haseul spoke up from my other side, gently clasping my forearm. “Hey, see that?” She pointed to a building we were passing. It looked like a mall. I’d stopped examining our surroundings during the walk - finding it depressing and ultimately inconsequential, but I paid attention now. The parking lot was littered with cars - some abandoned, some having crashed into each other and forming large, chain reactions of accidents. A fire still burned from one of the wrecks, making me suspect it was recent.. 

Jungeun had been leading the way like usual, but she stopped still from Haseul’s observation.“Yeah. I’ve been there.” Her eyes flitted to Jiwoo for a moment. She and Sooyoung were taking up the rear, their fingers intertwined. Jiwoo glanced at the mall with a sense of familiarity behind her eyes, too. Maybe they’d been there together. “What about it?” 

Haseul’d taken it upon herself to hang onto our medical supplies in their plastic bag, and she opened it up to look through what was left. Evidently it wasn’t much. She’d shown me earlier, and we were both potently aware of it. That was just adding to my stress. If any of us got seriously hurt, we’d barely have enough to treat the wound. Not to mention the two people with us who had bandages that needed semi-frequent changing. 

“We should look around in there. We didn’t get anything medical from the warehouse. That place is bound to have something, I mean - it’s huge.” Haseul explained plainly. I knew her well enough to tell that she was doing her best to hide just how scared she was about the supply shortage, so as not to worry anyone. Always the selfless one. 

I seconded her opinion more firmly, “You’re right. Hey, guys,” I turned around to look at the others. Yeojin had still been rambling, but actually stopped mid-sentence when I shot her a pointed look. “We’re gonna head in there. We need more medical supplies - the sheer probability of someone else getting injured before we reach the coast is practically inevitable, and we don’t have nearly enough.” I put on my most scientific-sounding voice, just to really hammer it home. 

Yeojin let out an exaggerated gasp of excitement, “Ah! A _mall!_ Love that, but also it’s just begging for a Dawn of the Dead situation.” She crossed her arms, like that was practically self-explanatory. I was far less acquainted with zombie pop culture than Yeojin was, but I inferred that was a movie or something. 

We all collectively ignored the statement. “Everyone, are you okay with heading inside?” There was a chorus of “mmhmms” and nods. Alright, it was unanimous. 

Yeojin strangely enough nodded too, raising her hand, “It’s a yeet from me.” 

Jungeun raised an eyebrow, “Did she just say yeet?” She sounded far from amused. Guess she wasn’t quite used to the extent of Yeojin’s buffoonery yet. It did take some adjusting. 

“Ignore her.” Without any more discussion, I headed toward the building. Jungeun picked up the pace to lead the way again, and Jun caught up from behind to be at her side. I knew Jungeun was out of bullets, but at least Jun had his pistol. To my knowledge he had the full clip, too. I wasn’t quite familiar enough with guns to know how many bullets it contained, though.

“This place looks like it’d be fun. Normally.” Chaewon spoke softly, clinging to Hyejoo’s arm now instead of holding Yeojin’s hand. “I feel like everything’s secretly scary now.” That was a surprisingly astute observation, if not worded a bit childishly. It was smart to be cautious - better that than walking blindly into things.

Jun jogged ahead to reach the mall’s doors first, pushing them open and holding them that way for the rest of us. “Ahh, don’t be scared Chae! I’ve got a gun and a badge. I’ll arrest all the zombies.” He stuck his tongue out at Jinsol as she passed by him, and she lightly punched his chest. 

Yeojin scoffed at his words, “Yeah right. You’ve only got _one_ pair of handcuffs, and there’s tons of zombies. You can’t get arrested without handcuffs.” He shrugged, as if her logic was irrefutable. 

Once he shut the door behind us, we were shrouded in darkness. The power was out, just like everywhere else. There were some scarce rays of the setting sun drifting in from a skylight a few stories above us, so it wasn’t pitch black. This place _was_ huge. Now that we were all inside, nobody had anything else to say. Not even Yeojin. It was probably due to just how off-putting it was to be in a place that normally bustled with life, only to find it empty and abandoned. It sported the usual signs of disarray that nearly every building now had - splatters of blood, shattered glass, signs of various sorts of struggle. A few tables from a nearby cafe had been turned over, as if used for cover: littered with bullet holes and dents. This place had really been torn apart. But whatever had happened, we seemed to have walked into the aftermath. No infected were in sight, and no people either.

“Should we split up?” Yerim suggested in her bright voice.

“No, that’s stupid.” Hyunjin told her bluntly. 

“But there’s so much ground to cover...” Jiwoo pointed out, stepping a bit away from our cluster of people and strolling toward a nearby fountain. The water was stagnant now, but I could tell from the spouts in the middle that it was probably rather extravagant once.

“Yeah, and we don’t know what’s in here.” Jungeun pointed out smartly, moving to stand at Jiwoos’ side. The two looked down into the fountain with expressions I couldn’t quite read. Yeah, they’d definitely been here together before.

I took the liberty of strolling toward those aforementioned tipped over tables, running my finger along the dented surface, “If we stay quiet, we should be alright. When the sun sets it’ll get pretty dark in here. Infected can’t see without light any better than we can, so keep that in mind.” 

Jun hummed curiously, fiddling with the badge on his chest, “Maybe we could make noise in a controlled space, see if it draws anything so we can explore the area safely?” That had actually sounded startlingly official of him. I hadn’t thought it to be possible at this point. 

Haseul shook her head, sticking close to Yeojin as the small girl tried to balance precariously on the edge of that fountain. She tightly clasped her hand as a failsafe to prevent her falling, “I don’t know. That sounds risky.” 

Sooyoung sighed lightly, “Well, maybe we can--” 

A deafening sound I recognized as a gunshot pierced through the previously dead air, stopping all of us short. It was accompanied by a sudden, agonizing pain that stabbed at my right shoulder, the force of the contact sending me staggering to the floor. I clutched at the affected spot only to recoil and cry out. There was blood. A lot of it. Fuck. I’d been shot. And I knew enough about trauma responses to realize that I was quite possibly going into shock. 

Another bullet was fired from the mystery shooter, but this one simply slammed into the table I’d thankfully fallen behind. I saw the metal dent right at eye-level. That would’ve blown my brains out if it’d made it through. I blinked hard, gritting my teeth and hissing through them with long breaths, doing my best not to spiral into panic despite how fucking _bad_ this **_hurt_**. 

“ _GET DOWN!_ ” I heard Jungeun shout desperately as more shots were fired in quick succession. The deafening sound resonated off the walls, making it hard for me to accurately pinpoint where they were coming from. It’d definitely been from behind me, since that’s the way the bullet had hit, but it could’ve potentially been from above as well. “ _Jinsol, don’t--”_ I vaguely heard Jungeun shout. I wondered why. My vision was blurring slightly, but I kept it together. I needed to. 

When I shut my eyes for a deliberately long blink, I gasped at the sight of Jinsol knelt in front of me upon opening them. What? Had she run straight through the line of fire?? That was stupid, ill-informed, dangerous... and sweet. I was too out of it to even properly process the magnitude of that foolish bravery. The shooter seemed annoyed that she’d gotten to me unscathed, however, as he unleashed more bullets relentlessly against our flimsy cover of a metal cafe table. Jinsol ducked lower, clasping me loosely by both arms. 

“Vivi? Hey, hey hey Viv, are you okay??” She asked me hurriedly, panic contorting her features. I could vaguely hear distant growling echoing off the walls too now. Fuck. Infected. Just our luck. Jinsol cursed under her breath, noticing it. “It’s your shoulder right? Just your shoulder??” I nodded. “Then you can walk?! C’mon!” She pulled me along without an answer, rushing into an adjacent store. I struggled to keep up - my shoulder still screaming in agony at me from moving even the slightest bit, but we were out of the direct line of fire. At this point, that seemed to be about the best I could ask for.

* * *

_**Jungeun** _

I knew these people didn’t have military training, but I swear to god trying to tell them to do things was infuriating. My commands literally went in one ear and out the other for Jinsol, she’d lunged straight into the line of fire and made a beeline to Vivi with practically no cover. I could barely even poke my head out after her to check if she’d made it without my head getting blown off. Whoever was shooting, the gun sounded like a standard pistol. Nothing crazy or military-grade, so it wasn’t a soldier. I’d like to think that a fellow soldier wouldn’t open fire on people who were clearly not infected, but maybe that was foolish optimism. 

“Hey!! Stop!!! We’re not infected!!!” Haseul shouted as loud as she could, hoping that the shooter would hear over the sound of the shots they were firing. They may have, but they didn’t seem to care. Though my ears were ringing, I think I actually heard someone laughing, and it sure as hell wasn’t any of us. 

“It’s no use!! I don’t think the fucker cares!” Sooyoung told her, clutching at a revolver I’d forgotten she had. I wondered how many bullets were in it. We were all crouching awkwardly behind the barely-high-enough barrier of the fountain’s rim. 

The distant sound of infected approaching from further in the mall wasn’t lost on me either. We didn’t have much time before they’d reach us. I scanned our surroundings as quickly as I could. There were a few escalators behind us - obviously not moving due to the lack of power. The railings upstairs were definitely more stable cover than the flimsy side of this fountain, and from what I could gather, the shooter was above us on the second floor. Shithead. What a coward. I listened closely when I heard vague shouting from above us, a bit too drowned out by the gunshots for me to make out words. It was definitely two separate voices, though. Great. There wasn’t just one guy. An intense, foreboding dread gripped at my chest. A group of needlessly hostile people who seemed to have enough ammo they didn’t care about wasting it? Not the best situation to have stumbled into. 

What did I have on me? I ran through the mental list in my head in a few split seconds. Jinsol had lost my knife back in the city. My rifle was empty, but it served well as a blunt weapon. I had one more road flare left, something I typically forgot about since there hadn’t been a situation where it’d be useful. 

“Jungeun-ah,” Haseul latched firmly onto my arm all of a sudden, tugging me from my frantic strategizing. Her eyes were wide, desperation evident in her tone, “W-We have to go after Vivi and Jinsol, we _have_ to-- Jinsol might be hurt, w-what if they get lost or we get too separated and-- I-I need to treat Vivi she’s--”

“-- _Calm. Down._ ” I held onto her jaw with a vice grip, needing her to listen. This was no time for anyone to panic. We didn’t need that. I wasn’t letting anyone else make mad dashes into gunfire for some dumbass reason, either. I had to keep these girls safe. Pretty sure none of them had been in a firefight before. Haseul wasn’t irrational, she was just terrified for her friends. I was scared too, of course I was, but I didn’t let it show. “It’s too dangerous. We don’t even know where they went. We have to deal with these fuckers first, then look for them.” 

She shook her head weakly, “B-But you saw, Vivi got _shot_ , a-and--”

“--and she’s probably the most medically competent in the group besides you, right?” I didn’t wait for an answer. There wasn’t even time for this little discussion we were having. “We need to get out of here, we’re gonna be cornered in a second!!” The growling was getting louder. It was a bit too dark to see if the infected were in sight at the other end of the mall, and the realization that it would only get darker made my chest tight. I was scared of the dark. Lucky me. 

Jun cursed when a chunk of the concrete fountain we huddled behind was blown off by a stray bullet, “Fuck, Jungeun!! We need to _move,_ which way?!” He held onto his pistol, with white-knuckled familiarity. Sweat visibly dotted his brow. I could see he was distraught. He wanted to go after Jinsol. So did I. If she got hurt, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. If I’d just been faster, I could’ve grabbed her back and held her in place, I just stupidly hadn’t expected her to run off like that. 

Now I just had to focus on who I could see - who I could protect.

* * *

_**Jiwoo** _

Jungeun frantically ripped a road flare from one of the pouches on her belt and set it off - red smoke shooting out of the small cylinder in large plumes. She tossed it to the other side of the fountain - managing through sheer coordination to have it balanced on the opposite rim without falling into the water. The smoke rose high up in the air, obscuring the shooter’s line of sight. It wouldn’t take long for him to get out of the way and find us again, but Jungeun already had us moving. 

More particularly, she latched onto me. I felt her arm tightly link with mine as she ran, making a beeline straight toward some escalators I’d noticed earlier. Everyone else stuck close as we all clamored frantically up those steps. The infected had been closer than we thought. Thankfully, they were distracted by the flare’s light too, but unfortunately their rabid clumsiness quickly knocked it into the fountain, and the smoke stopped. The shooter took out a few of them, but they weren’t his focus. No, it was still us.

We reached the top of the escalator and Jungeun literally tossed me to the ground - sheltering me behind the balcony railing and pulling the others still on the steps up the rest of the way. We took cover, but that wasn’t our biggest problem anymore. Without the smoke, the infected had spotted us. Now that we were up here, though, we could see the shooter. He wasn’t wearing any sort of uniform, no - he was just a guy. Some dude with a pistol, accompanied by another dude with a bat with nails hammered in. They looked angry. 

“Jun!”’ Jungeun shouted only his name, and he somehow managed to understand what she wanted just from that. 

“On it!!” He raised his pistol and pulled the trigger. I jumped in surprise, shocked when the bullet went straight between the shooter’s eyes. He fell backward hard - his bat wielding friend ducking out of view. I didn’t know Jun had such good aim. As soon as he lowered his gun, though, he was shaking visibly. 

He’d saved us from potentially being shot at, sure, but he’d also led the infected straight to us from the noise. I felt toned arms lifting me up off the ground - recognizing them as Sooyoung’s. She held me close, and it made me feel a bit safer, but watching as an absolute horde of them swarmed clumsily up the escalator? Not even Sooyoung and Jungeun combined could keep me safe from that. 

“ _Everyone, stay close!!_ ” Jungeun called out loudly, hefting her rifle into her hands and rushing ahead. The guy with the bat was presumably still there - why was she running toward him? I didn’t have a chance to ask, everything was too crazy. 

We rounded the corner and nearly collided with him. He was a big and muscley. Uh-oh. He swung that bat and I felt myself tense up, but Jungeun ducked beneath it and instead slammed the butt of her rifle hard into his knee. I heard an awful cracking sound and he collapsed, crying out. She kicked him brutally in the jaw and I didn’t look - not wanting to see the aftermath of her boot hitting his teeth. The infected had reached the second floor by then. Jungeun kicked the writhing guy again - in the stomach that time for good measure. Yeojin bent and frantically scooped his nail-bat into her hands.

Someone yelped - one of us. It was too high-pitched for me to tell who, but in an instant I’d spun around. Hyejoo and Chaewon had been in back, clinging to one another like normal, but they were vulnerable. One of the infected had latched onto Chae’s backpack and pulled it hard - tugging her roughly right toward its teeth. Hyejoo tried desperately to pull her out of its grasp, but it was stronger. We all moved at once, trying to get there, trying to keep it away and just _save her_ \--

\--but Jun was the fastest. He pulled the trigger of his pistol again, blowing its brains out before it could get a bite in. Hyejoo tugged Chaewon flush against her and broke into a run again, but we were all rattled from that. The horde of them was close now. _Way_ too close. 

“ _In here!”_ Jungeun shouted out, bursting through a set of doors at our side with her shoulder. We flooded inside, barely fast enough. Jun took up the rear now, making sure that Hyejoo and Chae were ahead of him, and he helped Jungeun close the doors behind us. Sooyoung and Hyunjin pressed against them too. That still wasn’t enough. 

Hyunjin was sweating from exertion, “Guys!!! Find a barricade!” She shouted to the rest of us. The rest of us were still panicked out of our minds from how close Chaewon had just come to dying. It never got easier to ignore the close brushes with death. You’d think you’d get used to them, but at least for me, they always threw me off. 

I needed to help. This was some kind of clothing store, and there was a display stand nearby that was pretty substantial. It had wheels, but when I moved to try and push it it barely budged. Yeojin rushed to my side, followed by Haseul and Yerim. With the four of us, we could move it, but damn was it still heavy. The doors were shaking on their hinges - nearly busting open. Once we were close enough, Hyunjin and Sooyoung took the other end and pulled the display stand the rest of the way, pressing it horizontally against the doors. It was sturdy. It’d hold. At least for a little.

The first one of us to move was Hyejoo. Her breaths were uneven, but she shockingly let Chaewon go and rushed toward Jun. She hugged him tightly and he was clearly startled by the contact, but gently patted her back. “T-Thank you.” She whispered to him weakly. She was shaking. Whenever Chaewon was in danger, she tended to lose it. Jun had saved her. She was grateful. I was too, I loved Chae. The girl in question was still struck speechless from all that, visibly trembling. 

He didn’t respond to it, which was out of character. He was a big goof, like Jinsol, so it’d be more like him to just comically accept the praise, maybe act cocky. Instead, he gently pried Hyejoo’s grip from him and started to briskly walk the perimeter of the store. Like he was looking for something. 

“What’re you doing?” I asked him meekly, still catching my breath like everyone else. Sooyoung gravitated toward me, clasping my hand tightly. She was shaking too. I ran my thumb gently along her knuckles, telling her wordlessly that I was alright.

Jun ran his palm down his face, a sheen of sweat visible there. He reached what looked like a side door and rattled the handle. It budged. Wait, why was he opening that?? It seemed to lead into an adjacent store. We shouldn’t leave, we were safe in here for now. We needed to recuperate and think of a plan or something, not rush back out into the chaos.

“I need to get Jinsol.” He told the rest of us plainly, as if that was all the explanation we needed. I mean, sure, it made sense, but that was stupid.

Jungeun was hunched over, the most winded out of all of us, “No, Jun, we need to think just for a second, please--”

He shook his head over and over, “--There’s nothing to think about, she needs help!! St-Stay here, I’m going.” Before any of us could even react, he’d pushed that door open and run straight back into the rest of the mall. Wait, what?! I stepped forward but Sooyoung held me in place protectively. He’d just charged into _such_ massive danger, we didn’t know if there were more hostile gun-wielding crazies out there!! Jun was a good aim but that couldn’t save him forever. My chest was indescribably tight.

Hyunjin sighed heavily, “Fuck.” Without barely a moment’s hesitation, she rushed after him. 

“ _Wait_ , Hyunjin!!” Jungeun started to rush after her, to grab her and stop her from leaving, but flinched when the door audibly splintered. She stopped still, clearly not knowing whether to stay with us or stop Hyunjin. The doors were gonna be busted down soon. Shit. Sooyoung let me go, looking around for something else to fortify them. Haseul helped, and I could tell Jungeun wanted to, but she was unsure. 

Hyunjin paused for only a second, telling us simply, “He’s not safe alone,” before slipping out the door.

Jungeun growled in overwhelming frustration, kicking a mannequin in the shin so that it fell audibly to the floor, “ _Fuck._ ” 

“Jungeun-ah,” I spoke up, and her eyes moved to me, softening instantly, “W-We should block the door first, okay?” Maybe she’d appreciate being told what to do for once. I could practically feel her crumbling under the pressure, overwhelmed by people not listening and everything falling apart. It was hard to keep things under control. Practically impossible. The only person blaming her for it was herself.

She nodded slowly, “Right....” Sooyoung and Haseul were lugging over another clothes rack to stack upon the first. She moved to help. 

“We need to go! It’s fucking infested, these doors won’t hold, and who even knows what the deal was with those assholes!” Sooyoung pointed out.

Haseul was panicking again. I’d noticed her starting to lose it earlier, but it was only getting worse. Our group kept fracturing. Yeojin moved close to her and hugged her waist, but it was like Haseul didn’t even notice. “Jungeun, we _need_ to get to Vivi and Jinsol, a-and now Hyunjin’s gone too?! We can’t go if they’re still somewhere in here, we _can’t_ , _I-I_ can’t--”

Jungeun took a deep breath, her body steadying from it, “Everyone just _give me a minute._ ” Her voice raised. We went silent. The sound of the infected pounding relentlessly against the door and the creaking of its hinges was unsettling. Finally, after shutting her eyes for a moment, she spoke again - surprisingly calm. “We won’t leave without them. Not if I can help it.” 

* * *

_**Jinsol** _

Vivi was bleeding, but I couldn’t quite tell how much. The store we’d rushed into had no lighting in it at all - I could hardly see until my eyes adjusted. But we’d barely made it past the entrance’s threshold when I heard a gun cock, and it wasn’t Vivi’s. 

I froze on instinct, tensing up. It was some guy. He was big, sort of tall, holding a revolver whose aim flitted between Vivi and I. He stood over a sleeping bag. Was this where he slept? Vivi didn’t freeze like I had - instead only waiting a split second before raising her pistol too - aiming it right at his head. 

He glared, the expression contorting his rugged features, “Don’t fucking move or I’ll--”

I flinched and literally yelped when Vivi suddenly pulled the trigger. The guy’s face exploded in a splatter of blood and he fell hard onto his back, definitely dead. My ears were ringing.

“Vivi what the fuck?!” I couldn’t help but exclaim, watching as she winced and moved to prop herself up against the store’s checkout counter. 

She seemed startlingly indifferent about what’d just happened, “Never understood stand-offs like that. Just shoot. What’s the guy gonna do, pull the trigger after his head’s blown off? Stupid.” She staggered slightly, and I moved to support her good side. 

“ _Still_ , that’s kinda risky don’t you think?!” I gently lowered her down to sit on the dude’s arguably comfy-looking sleeping bag, and she leaned against the wall. Her skin looked clammy. Not good. 

“I had a hypothesis and I tested it. He was caught off guard and you could tell he didn’t think we were much of a threat, so he wasn’t actually ready to shoot. Plus I waited until his aim was drifting between us so even if the gun went off it probably would’ve missed.” She grimaced at the end of her strangely detached explanation, wincing before letting out a low, calculated breath. Okay, I was very thoroughly impressed by how she gleaned all of that from the literal three seconds that standoff lasted. I watched as she carefully shrugged her arm out of her lab coat and blouse - looking directly at her wound. 

“ _Ouch_.” I commented softly. My voice was almost drowned out from the gunshots still audible outside. Weirdly, I was thankful for them - since they’d probably drown out the shot we’d just made and keep the infected from us. The last thing we needed was for a bunch of those freaky zombies to barge in here. “You’re taking it like a champ, honestly. I’d be bawling on the floor right now.”

She nodded, “Trust me, I’d love to bawl on the floor. But that’s probably not the best idea, all things considered.” She shifted where she sat and winced again, “I need bandages. There’s an exit wound, so I got lucky - the bullet went all the way through.” 

I chuckled slightly, trying to keep things ever so slightly lighter than I knew they actually were. I was worried Vivi would go into shock, so I was doing my best to distract her - by talking, joking, anything. She just needed to stay awake and aware. “Lucky? I’m sorry Vivi but I think the last word I’d use to describe you right now would be ‘lucky.’” 

She sighed, “Actually no, this could’ve gone way worse. All things considered, I am lucky. Plus your dumb ass ran over and got me inside here. Also lucky.” She gently clasped my hand for a second with her blood stained fingers, and I shot her the best smile I could manage. 

“Right. Well, you sit tight. I’ll look for bandages in here.” I promptly started to tear the store we were in to shreds. It was a beauty store, annoyingly, so all that was really in there was makeup and body wash and shit. At some point, Vivi stopped me. 

“This is pointless. This mall is fucking huge, there’s gotta be a pharmacy in here somewhere...” She grunted from exertion as she managed to lift herself to her feet, walking toward the exit. 

“Whoa whoa there, where the hell do you think you’re going?!” I stood in her path, but she looked about ready to push me to the side. Her eyes were slightly lidded. 

“To get bandages.” She explained tersely, trying to step by. 

I gently clasped her unwounded arm. Vivi was a badass, sure, but she was still notably smaller than me and it wasn’t hard to hold her back. “No. I’ll go, okay? Just stay here. It’s dark, and if you sit behind the counter I don’t think anything’ll notice you...” I looked over my shoulder at the door we’d come through. It was still open, and the gunshots and even louder growling from outside was concerning to say the least. Jungeun and the others had been pretty far away from us when we’d gotten separated. I had no idea where they were now. I just prayed they were all safe. 

Vivi was smart, and surprisingly not that stubborn. She sighed in what I knew was reluctant compliance, and moved back toward the counter. “Please be quick. Okay? And watch out. I have a feeling there’s more trigger-happy assholes in this place.” She carefully lowered herself to the ground, hiding behind that counter like I’d suggested. I expected her to put up more of a fight, but she was still thoroughly lucid and rational, which was a good sign. Alright. I could do this. I could help. 

I felt like I hadn’t contributed much to the group in the grand scheme of things, so finally being given some responsibility made me feel less useless. And I _really_ didn’t wanna fuck it up. Clutching my knife tightly, I rushed out the door. 

It was chaos out here. The gunshots had stopped, but there was a huge swarm of infected. Like, _way_ too fucking many. Some were still on the first floor, but I could see others on the second. None of them spotted me. Just to be safe, I stuck to the shadows and sidled against the walls of the stores - making my way toward a staircase I’d noticed earlier. Once I reached it, I just started running - taking the steps two at a time. This staircase went to all three floors of the mall, and based on the fuckery I caught a glimpse of on the second floor, I wanted to steer clear of that. 

When I reached the top of the first staircase I paused, poking my head above the railing to look out at what was going on. I didn’t see Jungeun or the others anywhere. There were two dead bodies that the infected were feasting on. My heart leapt into my throat. I looked closer, holding my breath, but I didn’t recognize the clothes. Oh thank _fuck_. It wasn’t any of us. Partially relieved, I started to head back up the stairs-- 

\--only to literally bump into someone. I staggered back, startled, and nearly fell over the railing from my surprise. Shit. That’d be a nasty fall. It was another stranger. He wielded a hefty looking wrench, and he looked more than ready to bash my skull open with it. Thankfully, he wasn’t nearly as big as the guy Vivi and I had seen downstairs. No, he was actually sort of thin and spry, arms bony but eyes wild with rage. 

He charged at me first, swinging that heavy wrench like it didn’t weigh a thing. I barely ducked out of the way, trying to knock it from his shaky grasp. He didn’t seem to appreciate that and he elbowed me hard in the chest. The wind almost got knocked out of me from the contact. I wasn’t used to fighting dudes, I’d only ever dealt with infected. It was different - people were smart. They could predict what you were going to do, and I wasn’t used to that. 

Nearly forgetting I had a knife, I slashed forward with it desperately - getting a few good slices in on his chest. He hadn’t expected that and he cried out - the noise just loud enough to start drawing infected from the lower floors. Fuck fuck fuck. I didn’t want to get caught on these stairs. Desperate, I kicked his shin as hard as I could, and when he hunched over from the pain, I pushed against his shoulders. It knocked him off balance and he was sent tumbling down the stairs - bones audibly crunching as he went. If he wasn’t dead, the infected would finish the job. I scrambled up the rest of the stairs when I had the chance, struggling to catch my breath. 

Finally, it was my turn to be lucky. This floor was literally empty from what I could tell, and there was a pharmacy not far off. Thank _god_. I sprinted toward it, glad to put more distance between me and those infected, despite not having been spotted. There wasn’t much on the shelves, but it wasn’t all gone. Whoever these guys were, they’d taken some of it, but not all. Good. I unzipped my bag and started shovelling literally anything I could carry inside, the sound of infected still echoing in my ears from the rest of the mall. I had to hurry. Vivi needed this. 

“Excuse me,” I nearly leapt straight out of my skin when an eerily politie voice spoke from over my shoulder. I spun on my heel, heart beating out of my chest. Three guys stood there. They’d emerged from what looked like a pharmacist’s storage room. Fuck, I should’ve looked around more. I’d just been in such a rush. The one who’d talked was... scary. He was tall, probably like 6’8”, wearing a leather jacket over a light khaki jumpsuit. He wasn’t that buff, no - but his relatively broad shoulders combined with his height made him intensely imposing. He seemed so put together and calm. I’d never seen anyone look like that, not since the world went to shit, and somehow that was even more unsettling than the wild desperation that I’d seen in the eyes of that guy on the stairs. “You’re taking my things.” 

I swallowed the lump in my throat, “W-What?” 

One of the bigger guys behind him surged forward all of the sudden and literally snatched my bag from my hands. I was too startled to stop him, only managing to try and grab it back when he was already out of reach. I was hopped up on adrenaline and tried to step closer - to snag it or something, but that was when the tall guy slowly unsheathed a knife. I stopped dead in my tracks. It was serrated and _big_. Not a machete like Hyunjin’s, but clearly something made for stabbing, not cutting vegetables like mine was. He looked at it with a twinkle in his eye, pointing it at me. Oh boy. This was bad. 

The tall guy took my bag from the other’s hands, then proceeded to literally dump its contents onto the floor. “Have you seen Jaegyu?” He tilted his head at me. “He’s about your height, thin. I just sent him outside to see what the fuss was about.” 

Uh-oh. I’d killed him. My eyes widened, and all I could do was shake my head. It’s impossible to describe, but this guy was so... off. I was more scared of him than I was of the infected outside, cuz I didn’t know what the fuck his deal was. 

He frowned, “Hmm. I don’t think you’re telling the truth. A thief, _and_ a liar?” His face slowly morphed into a resentful glare, and my blood ran cold. My whole body started shaking when his thin lips spread into a toothy smile. Why was he smiling? I should’ve run. Or something. But I felt literally rooted to my spot by paralyzing fear. “Boys? I think this one could use a little time in the fumigation chamber. What do you think?” He looked at the two guys behind him, who despite being way more strong looking seemed totally submissive. They nodded in unison. 

Okay, now I ran. Forgetting the bag, forgetting what I’d even come here for, I just rushed away as fast as I could. 

It was no use. One of them caught me. They’d expected me to make a break for it, and a pair of strong arms grabbed me by my middle far too tightly. Fuck. I squirmed and kicked, trying to get out and _away_ , but I stopped still when I felt the barrel of a gun pressed into my temple. 

“Yikes!” The tall guy exclaimed in a nearly comical, cartoonish tone. “You seem a bit on edge.” He strolled outside the pharmacy, the others following close behind. Shit. Where were they taking me? “Don’t worry,” He led the two through an area that looked like it was for maintenance and stopped before an unlabeled door. He shot me a gleeful smile, lifting his collar above his nose. Huh? The other two did the same, “You can cool down in here.” With that, he opened the door, and without another word, I was shoved inside. 

The smell felt like a slap in the face. I held my breath instinctively, it was pungent and _awful_. It was dark, nearly pitch black, but I could tell just from the way my shoes disgustingly squelched that I was standing on flesh. I jumped, trying to find floor to step on instead, but there were bodies _everywhere_. I nearly gagged, my eyes watering. The corpse’s eyes were white and their veins were visibly dark. They were infected. Oh no. 

I needed to get out. I remembered what Vivi had told us when she’d debriefed us on the way that the infection worked, and although I couldn’t recall exactly what she said in my panic, I just remembered one word: airborne. This air sure as fuck didn’t seem right. I could tell from the briefest moment that I smelled it that something was wrong. The way it made my eyes burn and sting was explanation enough. 

I had no time. I already felt myself getting lightheaded. There was an air vent, but that was stupid - this toxic air would go straight through that. These fuckers would never open the door. I could vaguely hear one of them laughing after shoving me inside. There was only one way out I could see: an elevator shaft on the other side of the room. 

Still holding my breath, I quickly approached it and stood on the edge. It was too dark to see how high up I was. Fuck. It was like I was staring down into an abyss. My heart was in my throat, but I needed to get out of this room. It was either take this risk and potentially live, or slowly turn into a monster and die for sure.

I jumped. 

It felt like I was falling forever. I shut my eyes, still holding my breath, clenching up my whole body in preparation for this impact and wondering if these would be my last moments. I ducked my head between my knees, tilting on my side - not knowing what else to do. The air rushed by me, pressing against my ears, my heart beating damn near out of my chest--

\--until finally I slammed against something. It wasn’t as hard as I’d anticipated, but the velocity from my fall was enough for me to cry out - an agonizing jolt of pain shooting straight through my left side. I’d landed on top of the elevator, but not the metal itself. No, there were a few infected bodies down here too that’d cushioned my fall. The air was clear. I took a deep, much needed inhale, resting my hand along my chest as it rose and fell frantically. Fuck. I couldn’t believe I’d survived that. For a few moments I just laid there, rolling onto my back, _so_ appreciative of just being able to _breathe_. I stared up that pitch black elevator shaft, never having thought I’d be so thankful of two dead bodies before. If I’d landed on that elevator without the buffer... I probably would’ve shattered the bones in my arm irreparably. Sure, it didn’t feel great now, but this could have gone way worse. 

I needed to go, though. Where the fuck even was I now? They’d taken my bag - which had food and supplies. I’d dropped my knife from all my squirming, too, so I was unarmed. Shit. I needed to find a weapon ASAP. After giving myself a minute to recuperate, I slowly sat up - my entire left side aching terribly. Yeah I was gonna be bruised all to shit. But at least I was alive. 

I started to feel around the top of the elevator for a hatch or something, but I couldn’t seem to find one. Maybe one of these fuckers was laying on top of it. I rolled one of the bodies aside, struggling to do so from the awful pain still in my arm. Sure enough, there was a hatch beneath it - caked with some dried blood from this poor sap. He was wearing a jumpsuit too - sort of like that tall asshole who’d shoved me in here. I dug my fingers beneath the hatch’s edge and tossed it open, hopping weakly into the elevator. 

My legs ached from the awkward landing and I winced. Yeah, I was absolutely fucked up. The elevator doors were open - leading into an eerie, seriously dark concrete hallway. This was some sort of basement. That elevator hadn’t been for public use - it looked like some sort of service lift. Great. I had no idea how to navigate this place, I was wounded, unarmed, and hurt. Whatever luck I thought I’d been gifted with earlier? Yeah, I’d lost it all and then some. 

“C’mon, c’mon, you can do this...” I muttered to myself gently as I took my first step out into this empty hall, “You aren’t even scared of the dark... it’s fine, you got this.” I didn’t care if I sounded crazy, the pep talk was actually helping. I limped slowly along, ever so slight stings of pain shooting up my leg when I put too much weight on it. I couldn’t see too far in front of my face, so I needed to feel my way along using the wall. God. This was like something out of a nightmare. 

There was a beam of light suddenly from further down the hall - looking like it was coming from a flashlight. Fuck. I froze. It didn’t land on me, so I wasn’t discovered yet by whoever that was. I quickly ducked into a corridor branching off this hall, pressing myself against the wall. I hoped they’d just leave. Go another way. But no, of course not. Not with my luck. They were heading straight down the hall. I heard the light footsteps, saw the beam of light bobbing up and down as they walked. It couldn’t be any of us - to my knowledge we didn’t have flashlights. So it was another one of those assholes.

I wasn’t gonna die like this. I just wasn’t. I refused. I tensed up as this person walked by the corridor I hid in, wishing they’d just keep going, but no. Instead they flashed the beam down quickly to check if it was clear, and spotted me. 

“Hey--”

I didn’t wait another moment, surging forward and bringing my knee up as hard as I could between the guy’s legs. He let out a girlish shriek, his voice cracking, and literally fell to his knees. I scrambled to pick up the flashlight he’d dropped, shining it on his face and considering using it as a blunt weapon, but I stopped still. 

He was young. Way younger than the others. Probably like, Hyejoo’s age. The other guys I’d seen so far had been in their early thirties, at least. If this kid was with them, he was at least way less threatening. He’d wielded a heavy looking hammer, but it’d clattered to the floor as he clutched desperately at his uh-- between his legs. His eyes were glossy with tears and he whined like a little baby. Yeah, I wasn’t threatened by this kid. 

“Do you have another weapon?” I asked him pointedly, making my voice way scarier than it normally was as I scooped his hammer up into my own hands. It hurt to bend over like I did, but I didn’t let it show through. He was just grumbling and whining, eyes tightly shut. I shoved his shoulder slightly, “ _Do you have another weapon?_ ” 

“No!” He yelped at me, visibly shaking. He seemed literally terrified of me. I wasn’t sure how to respond to this. I believed him, oddly enough, but was that dumb of me? 

I tucked his hammer into my back pocket, waiting for a few moments as he recovered from my cheaply placed kick. As the seconds wore on, he slowly got his bearings, eventually stopping all his pained whimpering. Once he was done though, he just sat there, as if in defeat. Like he was just waiting for me to hurt him, maybe even kill him. Instead, I extended my hand down. He stared at me with still glossy eyes, confused and scared, but he clasped my fingers with a loose grip and I helped him to his feet. 

He sniffled slightly. He really was just a kid. He tried to pull away once he stood, but instead, I tightened my hold on him and shook his hand. “I’m Jinsol.” 

**_Lee Donghyuck_ **

He raised an eyebrow, confused and seemingly unable to meet my eyes, “Donghyuck...” He pointed over his shoulder toward the elevator, “Did you jump down from there?” 

I smiled weakly, “Didn’t have much choice.” 

His eyes widened, “D-Did you get put in the fumigation chamber?” I nodded, “Oh no, I-I’m so sorry. Hansol’s out of control, h-he keeps throwing people in there, it’s awful. But, you jumped down? You didn’t breathe too much did you?” He sounded so genuinely concerned. This was surreal. Why did he even care? He literally only knew my name. I was so confused. 

“No, at least I don’t think so...” I was more interested in the name he’d said. “Who’s Hansol? Is he the creepy tall fucker with the leather jacket?” 

Donghyuck nodded readily, “Y-Yeah. Yes, he’s um, he’s kind of in charge? Of all of us.” He took a cautious step back from me, but didn’t get far. I waved the flashlight around our surroundings. These halls really didn’t have much of anything of note in them - just plain concrete walls with the occasional door.

His answer only left me with more questions. “All of who? Who the fuck are you guys?? Why’d you shoot at us? What’re you doing here, and why is that Hansol guy so fucking weird??” I couldn’t help my voice from raising. I was just so confused and overwhelmed, and I realized that this might be my only chance to understand our situation at all. I wanted to trust Donghyuck, I did, but I still had so little information about what was even going on, or who he was. 

He shook his head back and forth, “I-I didn’t shoot at you!! I’ve never even shot a gun, I-I promise, a-and I-I don’t like what Hansol’s been doing to other survivors, I was _never_ on board with any of that--” 

“--Then why’re you even with these fuckers? You’re like, ten.”

He pouted, which didn’t at all help how childish he looked, “No! I-I’m seventeen!” He seemed to realize that wasn’t the most pressing part of my question, “And I-I was visiting my brother when the zombies showed up. U-Um, he’s, um, he was in jail.” He seemed embarrassed to admit that, but it actually explained a lot. These guys were prisoners. Escaped prisoners, who probably got free during all the chaos caused by the outbreak. That’s why so many of them were wearing those jumpsuits. They were prison uniforms. Fuck. They were even more dangerous than I’d thought - literal convicted criminals. I didn’t even want to know what the fuck Hansol had been arrested for, but I had a feeling it was something so immoral and depraved it’d make my skin crawl. 

I could tell Donghyuck was telling the truth. For the life of me I couldn’t picture this kid being in jail. He just got wrapped up in all this by coincidence, and didn’t really know what to do with himself. From what I could tell, he seemed pretty harmless. “Okay, so... my friends and I are trapped in a mall with a bunch of escaped, armed convicts. What a good day today has been.” 

He stepped closer all of a sudden, “I-I can help you!” He seemed genuinely eager, with no real ulterior motives. He sort of reminded me of Yerim, which was more reassuring than anything else possibly could’ve been. “I um, I-I know the layout of this place. You got separated from them right?” He asked gently, and I nodded. “Well, um, i-if you know sort of where they are, I can help you look.” 

“Why?” I asked him softly. 

He shifted where he stood and winced slightly. Guess he was a bit sore still. “Because, I-I wish you guys weren’t getting hurt. We could all just help each other, w-we have so many supplies from this mall. If it wasn’t for Hansol, we could’ve just helped you. None of this even had to happen.” 

My brow furrowed at him, “Why don’t you guys just tell him no, then? There’s more of you than him.” 

He shook his head frantically, seeming terrified even by the thought. “N-No, he’d kill us! A-And some of them listen to him, h-he talks about this survival of the fittest stuff all the time... I don’t buy it. He’s just... he’s bad. Nobody wants to cross him.” He moved, starting to walk back the way he’d come. “Come on, um, let’s just... get out of the basement.” 

* * *

**_Vivi_ **

My arm still ached so terribly. The blood loss was surprisingly not as intense as I’d expected, it must have started to clot. I wasn’t even sure if that was true. Frustratingly, it seemed like all of my medical knowledge was slipping my mind from all the overwhelming adrenaline. It hadn’t died down yet. My heart was pumping hard and fast, and I’d still barely caught my breath. 

The door to this cosmetics store was still open. I could hear the unsettling growls of infected resonating off the walls and carrying inside. The faint echo made it disorienting and difficult to tell if they were even close or not. For all I knew, they could’ve been pacing right outside the store. My eyes had adjusted to the dim lighting by then, and as the minutes passed, I really started to process the dead body laying a few feet away. 

I’d shot him. I hadn’t given it even a second of consideration, I’d just shot him. I’d made a subconscious decision not to look, but it was getting harder not to. A pool of blood had formed beneath his head where my bullet had struck, and he stared up at the ceiling with empty eyes. 

I’d never killed a man before. Obviously. I assumed most of us hadn’t, but I’d done that so instantaneously. It was survival taking hold, and I knew that - instinct alone dictated my actions, fight or flight pulled the trigger. Either way, I couldn’t help my eyes from staring at his face. I wondered who he’d used to be, or even what other ways that situation could’ve gone. Maybe we could’ve talked him down, asked him for help or supplies? I blinked hard. Or maybe he could’ve gunned us down, taken our stuff and left us for dead. I felt as if either of those possibilities were equal likelihoods at this point. Which was discouraging, but we needed to accept that reality. Otherwise it might get us killed. 

Jinsol had been gone for roughly five minutes. It was concerning for a multitude of reasons: if she didn’t come back, I may very well pass out from blood loss, and if she was hurt or held up somehow, I’d be the only real one to know that she was alone and needed help. This was tough. I was unsure of how long I should wait for Jinsol to come back - just sitting here and gritting my teeth through the pain. There were significant pros and cons to both staying and leaving. Ultimately, though, I felt that the risk of potentially losing consciousness in a store nobody else even knew I was hiding in was simply were too high.

Using the counter I’d ducked behind as much-needed support, I dragged myself to my feet. My shoulder had nearly gone numb, and again, due to my annoying inability to recall my medical knowledge, I wasn’t sure exactly what that meant for me. Instead, I did my best to ignore it and focus on the task at hand: finding some damn bandages.

I forced myself to look closer at the man I’d killed. He was around his mid-thirties. Strangely, he resembled some kind of weathered survivor, but this entire collapsing of society had only really lasted a week or so. Hmm. That made me wonder something. Slowly approaching him, I leaned down - taking the liberty of unzipping the heavy jacket he wore and tugging it open. My suspicion had been right. He was wearing a jumpsuit - a khaki one worn by prisoners. My chest tightened even further. Great. Some sort of band of escaped convicts must’ve taken this mall for themselves, and I was sure that their morals were far from in check. This was even worse than I’d thought. 

I staggered cautiously out of the store - hovering briefly at the doorway to assess the area. Haseul and the others were nowhere in sight, but I’d expected that - they’d needed to flee from the shooter’s gunfire. Speaking of which, the shooting had stopped a few minutes prior. I glanced up at the upper floor’s balcony, where I’d assumed he had been, and only saw infected. There was a swarm of them all over the upper floor - evidently having been drawn there by something. If I could help it, I wanted to avoid them. I could run if I had to, but if it wasn’t necessary, I’d prefer slow movements until I got this wound covered. 

Alright. I needed to find somewhere that might have bandages, preferably on the first floor. It was still pretty dark, so I might actually be able to elude detection from the infected if it can down to it - but if there were anymore of those prisoners it’d be a different story. I tightened my grip on my pistol. Three bullets. Hopefully enough for three guys. They were a last resort, too. I didn’t want to lure infected. The real question was where on earth I should search. 

There was a nearby sporting goods chain I recognized. It was close, and I didn’t feel like walking too far. I was still idly pressing one of my hands against my wound. It’d started to bleed from all the movement that standing up and staggering along entailed. The sooner I found some bandages, the better. I did my best to assess the situation - to step in the mind of some moronic, pig-headed recent prison escapee. If I was looking for weapons, the best place for them in a mall would likely be that sports goods store. If they hadn’t already cleared it out, maybe they’d turn it into a base of operations based on sheer principles of testosterone alone. Either way, I expected some sort of opposition - but also more potential for supplies. 

I sidled along the wall, ducking low - not wanting to reveal myself just to be safe. This store was dark too, but when I slid through the propped open automatic doors, I wasn’t too surprised to see the beams of flashlights shining near a cluster of checkout counters. They flitted back and forth, and I could make out mumbled, deep voices coming from that direction. As I’d suspected, there were some men in here. Alright, at least they hadn’t seen me. 

I stayed low to the ground, keeping myself hidden from their line of sight by swapping cover between varying shelves. All I had was my pistol. I kept looking around for some other sort of weapon, but racks that previously contained hockey sticks or baseball bats had been cleared out. They were long gone. Probably distributed among the ranks of the other prisoners. Just my luck. 

Even inside here, I could hear the infected. Which meant in theory, they could hear us too. That probably explained why the prisoners were speaking rather lowly - they wanted to be safe. I dared to edge closer, still ducking behind things and sticking to the shadows. Additionally, they seemed thoroughly preoccupied with audibly fumbling with what sounded like supplies. I did my best to eavesdrop. My heartbeat was audible in my ears, nearly drowning them out. 

“Did you see what happened to Namgyu?” A raspy voice asked. 

“No. He was shooting on the second floor, but I haven’t heard from him since.” There was some more audible clamoring, alongside some footsteps. I was trying desperately to tell just how many there were - to assess how much danger I was in, or if I stood a chance against them in any form of confrontation. My heart skipped a beat and I slunk further down on the floor when one of those flashlight beams swung right above my head. Fuck. 

“What a fucking idiot.” A third voice spoke. Okay. Three. I had three bullets, it wasn’t impossible. 

“Why? I’d shoot them too - one of them has a huge gun.” A fourth voice argued. Fuck. Alright, I was officially screwed. I glanced back toward the entrance, wondering if I should try to just sneak back outside. 

That was when one pair of footsteps suddenly approached right where I was. I did my best not to audibly gasp from my panic, instead letting instinct take over as I clumsily slid beneath the shelf I’d previously ducked behind. For once I was thankful for my small stature, as I watched ominous dark boots pass right over where I’d crouched moments before. 

“What’re you doing, shithead?” The first raspy voice asked hostiley. The boots stopped still. “Come help us get these supplies sorted. You know how Hansol gets if it’s mixed.” 

The owner of the boots scoffed, “Hansol’s an ass.” 

There was a collective pause so tense that even I could vicariously absorb the discomfort. Finally, another voice spoke, “Want me to tell him you said that?” 

The boots moved suddenly, rushing back toward the others, “No, no no, just... fuck off, you dick.” A chorus of stifled laughter rose up from the prisoner’s evident fear at the mentioning of this Hansol character. 

Based off the very selective information I’d gathered, Hansol seemed like some sort of authority figure. Maybe he was a corrupt prison guard who’d facilitated their escape? Or some sort of sociopathically intimidating ring leader? Either way, I intended to steer clear. If these prisoners were so obediently following his orders, he was formidable in some way I was in absolutely no state to combat. Just how many of these guys were there? 

I did my best to catch my breath and not wince as my shoulder throbbed in pain. There wasn’t much space beneath this shelf I’d scrambled beneath, and it was practically squishing me between its dusty surface and the floor. This was far from a permanent or ideal solution. My brain started going faster and faster, trying hard to process these new unanticipated circumstances. 

Clearly, there were at least four prisoners. I wasn’t sure if they were armed or not, but it was safer to assume that they were. With what, was a harder question. If it was melee weapons, I may be able to manage the situation in a confrontation: dealing with them at long range and potentially fleeing if they got close. If any of them - even one - had a firearm? That was a completely different story, in which it was highly probable that I wouldn’t walk away without sporting at least one more unwanted bullet hole. I couldn’t just assume that none of them had a gun. That was dangerous, potentially deadly wishful thinking. 

They were seemingly sorting through their supplies, allegedly for “Hansol.” That was a frustrating lack of information. Where was Hansol? Would he come to them? Or were they going to deliver it, and thus leave? What were these supplies exactly? In this newly deteriorated world, it was safe to assume that “supplies” consisted of things that were especially useful as of now: food, water, medicine, munitions, and weaponry. So, it was fair to assume that there was something medical in whatever they were collecting. Something I could use, something I desperately _needed_ to use. It would be considerably difficult for me to make my escape. The prisoners had started to walk around now. As if they were gathering things from other parts of the store, or perhaps patrolling, if they were proactive enough to go to that strategic extent. That may’ve been giving them too much credit. These men didn’t seem like the brightest. 

I had an idea. It was risky, but it was an idea. The already dense, thick air was only made even more weight from the background noise of the rabid infected on the floor above. From what I’d gathered from infected, they were essentially animalistic and far from inquisitive. They weren’t going to search more thoroughly than what was at eye-level, unless they physically saw you dive into a hiding spot. Okay. This plan was... _very_ risky. But the longer I laid there, listening to these threatening, armed men pace around me and sort through their supplies that I needed? The less scared I was.

Taking a long, deep breath, I cautiously slinked my pistol out from beneath the shelf, tilted it toward the ceiling, and pulled the trigger. 

The shot rang out, the sound ricocheting loudly off the walls. My bullet had also struck some sort of light fixture - shards of shattered glass falling to the floor. I yanked my hand back hard against my chest, clutching my pistol with white knuckles and curling my body up into itself to more effectively hide beneath this shelf - listening as panic consumed these men. 

_“Keun!!”_ The raspy voiced prisoner shouted in rage, footsteps rushing all around the store now. The reverberation from the gunshot made it more difficult to pinpoint its location, but I felt far from safe. “ _You dumbfuck!! Why’d you shoot?!”_ Okay. So at least one of them did have a gun. 

“I-I didn’t!!” A deeper voice protested against the accusation. The growling of the infected grew louder. They’d absolutely heard. It’d be impossible not to. 

“Fuck!! Get the stuff, quick, get the stuff!” Someone else desperately shouted, but it seemed as if everyone had spread out. One of them may’ve just fled altogether. 

“Shut the doors!!” 

“I’m trying!!” 

“ _Get away from the_ \--” Whatever voice had tried to warn another was drowned out by incomprehensible screams of pain coming from near the entrance. The infected were here. Dozens upon dozens of uneven, uncoordinated footsteps spread throughout the store in an instant. There was screaming, a few more gunshots, scattered attempts at re-establishing the makeshift chain of command, racks being knocked over, more glass shattering, and just utter chaos ensuing around me. My own panic had made my breaths grow uneven and audible. I clamped a hand firmly over my mouth, fear wanting to shut my eyes, but knowing I needed to stay alert. 

Eventually, the human voices and screaming had all died out. Splatters of blood previously unseen tainted the linoleum surrounding me. There were few scattered infected still jogging unevenly around the store, aimless, looking for a sound or a noise to pounce upon. I laid there for a few moments, simply trying to process and realize that my plan had worked. At least to an extent. But now, I was still trapped under this shelf - surrounded by terrifying infected instead armed of prisoners. 

Thankfully, however, I got lucky again. 

One of the prisoners had conveniently fallen, dead, right at my side - his jugular brutally ripped open. In his hand laid a flashlight. It was off. Holding my breath, I cautiously reached to take it--

\--only to instantly recoil when one of the infected’s scuffed sneakers nearly stepped right on my wrist. I couldn’t help the small gasp that left me, and the infected froze from the small sound. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. I held my breath, shutting my eyes and remained utterly still. Eventually, it moved on. Holy shit. Too close. God, I just wanted to get the _fuck out of here._

I frantically reached out and pried that flashlight from the man’s grip, flicked it on, and rolled it hard toward the back of the store. It audibly slammed against the metal rack I’d aimed for, and every infected in the vicinity collectively growled - rushing toward the noise and drawn in by the light. As I’d expected. 

Taking my small window of opportunity, I frantically crawled from beneath the shelf and staggered toward where the prisoners had been sorting their supplies. It wasn’t as much as I’d wanted: bullets, but none fitting for my pistol, or Jungeun’s rifle, no melee weapons, some food I didn’t have time to gather up, but - thank _fuck_ \- a first aid kit. I snatched it into my hands, peering inside and feeling my heart soar when I saw that it was appropriately stocked. I clutched it to my chest, nearly feeling myself tear up from my relief, but now was no time to bask in this. I needed to get out. 

Careful not to cause more noise or slip on any of the newly spilt blood, I rushed straight out the doors, nearly tripping from my haste. Once I was outside, I just kept running. Instinct pushed me forward - wanting as much distance as possible between those infected and I. I ran and ran in the now eerily empty mall until I couldn’t anymore - until my legs ached and my shoulder was screaming from the exertion. Finally, I stopped, letting myself sit and rest on a nearby cold metal bench. I’d made it out. Somehow, I’d made it out. 

I shrugged my shoulder out from my blouse and lab coat yet again. The wound looked notably worse, as I’d expected. The first aid kit was stocked, yes, but there was far from a surplus of supplies. I’d make it work. Sparing you the gorey details - I stitched the hole shut on the side I could readily see (my front), cleaned the area thoroughly with antiseptic (despite the agonizing sting of it), and used up the stingy roll of bandages to wrap firmly around my shoulder. Although it still hurt just as much, knowing that I was far less likely to contract a deadly infection was enough reassurance for now.

I let myself lean further back into the bench, tossing the now useless and empty first aid kit across the floor after shoving a few bandaids into the pocket of my labcoat. I’d survived. For now, I was safe here. If anything approached, I’d hear it. I couldn’t stay here forever, of course - I needed to find Jungeun and the others, not to mention Jinsol, who was still worryingly unaccounted for in this incredibly hostile environment. I knew I needed to keep moving; to look and help and defend and regroup. But god, _fuck_ , I thought I deserved at least a minute to catch my breath and let my new sutures settle in my sore skin. 

* * *

_**Yeojin** _

Jungeun and Haseul’s nonstop pacing was getting annoying, to put it lightly. They’d had some initial debate on what to do, then everyone started talking at once, then Jungeun got all flustered and asked to “just let her think.” The zombies were still growling at the door, pushing really hard against it and almost gaining enough ground to break through, which wasn’t the most reassuring thing in the world. Based on how Jungeun hadn’t shot that fucker who’d been shooting at us, she was out of bullets, so this wasn’t one of the classic Jungeun-mows-down-an-entire-crowd deal. We could go out the same way Hyunjin and Jun had, if we wanted, but the main issues with that was the general danger and uncertainty of it, I think. We all just wanted to get out of the mall at this point, but that’d mean leaving some of us behind, and we all definitely agreed that was stupid. I mean, Vivi was a _scientist_ , that’s like the most important zombie apocalypse role. Duh. If all these uncultured swine ever tuned into any form of media they’d know that. They always ignored my extensive knowledge on the matter, though, so I’d decided against offering it again. Ungrateful.

I sighed to myself and glanced at Yerim. We’d both sat down on a display shelf, having shoved all the clothes off it. Chaewon was nervously folding them back and putting them in a pile for some reason. “Hey, Yerim.” I spoke up, cutting through the dense silence. All eyes moved to me for a moment before everyone went back to their nervous pacing. 

“Yeah?” She asked me brightly, but even she seemed kinda distracted. 

“I was just wondering, does your bat have nails?” I asked her, tilting my head. 

“What?” Her brow furrowed at me, glancing down at the bat she still clutched tightly. I hadn’t expected her to actually check. “No...?”

  
I nodded, “Oh, that’s cool, just wondering, cuz,” I showed her my recently acquired bat, gently pointing at one of the sharp mini-spikes jutting out from the wood, “Yaknow, _my_ bat has nails.” Before I knew it, it’d been snatched straight from my hands by Haseul. “Wh-- hey!!” I watched as she took Yerim’s too, swapping them. The fuck?? I didn’t want this wimpy ass bat, it had NO nails, _ZERO_ nails!! 

“No bragging about your bat.” Haseul lightly flicked my forehead, “You’ll poke your eye out with those nails anyway.” She walked back toward Jungeun. I could not believe the disrespect I’d just endured. Pretty sure that was classifiable as a hate crime, at _least_ agism. 

Yerim blinked down at her new, way cooler nail-containing bat, “Do you want it back?” What?? She was really gonna give it up? But it was _so_ much cooler. “Girl Scout Law Code #5 - a girl scout is courteous and kind. This is yours, you grabbed it.” 

I glanced at Haseul. She was talking with Jungeun still. She probably wouldn’t notice if we swapped back, she had a lot on her mind. I nodded, reaching to discreetly hand Yerim her inferior bat--

\--right when everyone in the store collectively jumped at the sound of a gunshot from outside. There was just one at first, then after a few moments, even more. I wasn’t sure where they were coming from but that wasn’t really the point - cuz wherever it was, it wasn’t here. The zombies that’d been pounding at the door nonstop finally left, running toward the noise. Well, shit. Maybe our luck hadn’t run out yet after all. 

Jungeun was up and moving in an instant. “Everyone, _with me_ , and _listen._ Don’t pull any shit. Stick _close!_ ” Yeah, it was clear she was fed up with everyone running away against her wishes. And I sure as hell didn’t want to piss her off. We all shot to our feet, forming an even more tightly knit cluster than we had before, and rushed out the side door. 

We didn’t really know which way Jun and Hyunjin went. This mall was obnoxiously huge, it was rude actually. There were like, four ways they could’ve gone, at least. Jungeun paused for a second, probably realizing the same thing, but instead of just getting annoyed at the possibilities like I was, she picked one. Probably the smarter idea. We stayed glued to her, some of us literally clinging to one another. I’d latched onto the back of Yerim’s girl scout sash tightly, looking over my shoulder every two seconds, but it didn’t seem like any zombies were following us. Now I was just wondered who the fuck had been shooting. It could’ve been Vivi, but it also could’ve been more of the bad guys who kept fucking with us. And if there were more bad guys than the one we dealt with, then who even knew how many there were? 

At least Yerim had a Negan bat now. Ew. I sneered at the thought of Negan. Worst villain ever. Embarrassing, honestly. A shame that he ruined the concept of nail-bats for literally everyone. I blinked. Was that really what I was thinking right now? Sometimes my brain even caught me off guard. 

Haseul spoke up suddenly, after Jungeun had taken the liberty of choosing many different turns in this route. I doubted she knew where she was going, there was no real way for her to tell. For all we knew, we could’ve been heading in the totally opposite direction Jun and Hyunjin went. But she was running with a hell of a lot of purpose, So I trusted her. Occasionally she’d look down over the railings we passed to maybe catch a glimpse of someone we knew. She was doing her best, and I was at least rational enough to know that, but Haesul wasn’t. 

At one point, she finally started blurting out all of her stress onto the rest of us, “Wait, Jungeun, if Vivi shot that gun she might need some help!” 

Jungeun didn’t stop, despite Haseul’s slight plea, “That’s where all the infected went, Haseul, we don’t have the means to deal with that!!” Her tone was all military, like it got when things were bad.

She actually stopped still for a second, causing a domino-effect collision of us all bumping into one another from how close we’d been. I “oofed” the loudest just to show her I was displeased. “But--! Jungeun! If that’s Vivi and Jinsol, w-we need to-- I need-- _we_ need them, I-I won’t just--”“

“ _One. At. A. Time._ ” Jungeun told Haseul firmly, stepping close and grabbing both of her arms. Haseul was kinda losing it. I understood the Vivi part, I mean we both knew Vivi, but I guess she’d gotten close to Jinsol too. I’d seen them talk sometimes so that made sense. Hell, I loved Jinsol - I still hadn’t forgotten how respectful she’d been toward Jim. Plus she was just cool. Jungeun took a deep breath, lowering her voice from the slight shout it’d been, “Haseul, I-I can only handle this one problem at a time. Okay? Yeah? C’mon, you’re smart, we have a fuck ton of problems right now. We have to do this piece by piece. Right now it’s easier to look for Jun and Hyunjin.” She was trying to be all rational military etcetera, but she sounded scared shitless. We all were, and out of breath on top of it. 

Haseul nodded frantically, but even Jungeun’s little speech didn’t seem like it’d helped much, “B-But i-if Jun went after Jinsol, w-wouldn’t he go back the other way and head downstairs, because that’s where she and Vivi were so--”

“-- _Look out!!_ ” Sooyoung called out suddenly, having been the most alert of our surroundings, but we all understood in an instant just what she was warning us about. 

Five dudes burst out suddenly from the store we stood next to, wielding all sorts of weapons but thankfully no guns. They didn’t look like they were gonna try talking. Sooyoung initially aimed her revolver, but Jungeun grabbed the barrel. Right - too much noise. Smart. Sooyoung instead reached down and tugged a kitchen knife from her boot, which may’ve been the most badass thing I’ve ever seen but now wasn’t the time to process that. Fuck. We were gonna have to fight these guys. They were _big_. And I was _exceptionally small_. 

Jungeun and Sooyoung both targeted the biggest one at the same time without exchanging any words. I wished I could’ve just watched them square up, but I wasn’t on the sidelines this time. I had a bat. I should help. Haseul slammed her crowbar against one dude’s knee, and he staggered but didn’t quite fall. Yerim brought her bat slamming against his back and he cried out from the nails digging into his skin, but he still wasn’t down - just mad. Another brought what looked like a 2x4 piece of wood slamming against Hyejoo’s stomach. She cried out and dropped what I realized was a fireplace poker, but shockingly, Chae didn’t hesitate in picking it up and literally impaling the dude straight through the side like a skewer. Holy shit. 

I was so distracted I barely noticed the dude charging right for me. He was small compared to the other four, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still bigger than me. Yerim and Jiwoo were dealing with some other dude. Nobody was around to help me. I had to do it. Okay, oh boy. 

Balls. Guys had balls. One time I “accidentally” kneed my friend in the balls and he puked and had to go the nurse’s office for like the rest of the day. Okay. Balls. I could hit this guy’s balls. I knew he had a metal pipe, which was definitely intimidating, but he also had two little sensitive sacks right between his legs. 

I lowered my bat, acting like I was too scared to fight. He totally bought it, the dumbfuck. As soon as he was close enough, I swung it up. _Hard_. Oof. Hit it outta the park. The dude’s eyes looked like they bulged out of his head and he fell straight to his knees, clutching at his jewels with both hands. Once he was at eye-level with me, I stuck my tongue out at him for good measure, then brought my bat swinging against the side of his head. He was down - not dead, but at least not trying to attack us.

Sooyoung and Jungeun had totally wrecked the big guy. I’d been too distracted to see how they dealt with him, but now they stood over his corpse that was riddled with stab wounds. Sooyoung’s knife was actually still wedged deep in his shoulder. Haseul had bashed a dude’s head in with her crowbar. There was guy left, and he was struggling against Yerim - trying to swing at her with a machete. He kept getting really close, and she was doing her best to fend him off with her bat, but he did get one good slice that actually made a cut in her sash. Not the sash. Jiwoo panicked at the sight, and latched onto the dude’s arm in desperation - not wanting his blade to touch Yerim - but her interference just seemed to make him mad. He elbowed her off, and it was a _rough_ hit. It hit her in the nose and it sent her _reeling_ , backward at first, but then tumbling straight down a nearby escalator. _FUCK._

“Jiwoo!!” I called out, scrambling after her. By the time I’d reached the top of the escalator, she was already mid-way down - tumbling and seeming to hit every step in just the wrong way so that it’d fuck her up the worst. _Ow_. Jungeun noticed her second, and I was brushed roughly out of the way as she sprinted down after her. 

Sooyoung saw what’d happened, and instead of rushing after Jiwoo, she was on that dude in a _second_. Her knife wasn’t in her hands anymore, but that didn’t stop her from practically turning feral. She charged the guy, bringing her fist slamming against his face so hard I swear I saw one of his teeth fly from his mouth. He staggered, but she didn’t stop, punching him again. His nose bent in a way it definitely wasn’t supposed to bend, blood splattering his cheek. He barely had time to blink before she’d struck him again, and that time, he lost his footing - falling to the ground. She still didn’t stop. She straddled him, punching his face over and over and over, not even stopping when he coughed blood or when his eyes shut, until finally, Chaewon had to intervene. 

She rushed over, grabbing onto one of Sooyoung’s arms with both of her hands and pulling her off the unconscious (probably dead) guy. “He’s _down_ , Sooyoung!” Sooyoung let herself be dragged away, breathing erratically, blood splattering her forearms, shirt, and split knuckles. Her eyes were wide, teeth bared. Okay, note to self: do _not_ hurt Sooyoung’s girlfriend. 

Jungeun had retrieved Jiwoo from the bottom of the escalator and was helping her back up the steps. Fuck. All the dudes were down, so I could really think about it now: escalators were basically just serrated stairs. And Jiwoo had a _nasty_ fucking fall. She didn’t look too good. As soon as she’d gotten to the top, Sooyoung had gravitated against her. Jungeun’s eyes drifted between Sooyoung and the dude who’d shoved Jiwoo. She saw how fucked up he was, and weirdly I saw a sort of respect show on her face. Like she was impressed or something, maybe? 

“A-Are you okay??” Sooyoung asked frantically, still out of breath from yaknow, beating that dude to death. She reached up with trembling, sorta bloody hands and wiped gently at a cut on Jiwoo’s cheek. Her face was bleeding, her exposed legs had a bunch of cuts, and she just looked... like she’d gotten shoved down a fucking _escalator_ \- and a long one at that.

Jiwoo’s eyes were glossy. She sniffled, grimacing slightly from obvious pain, “Ah- i-it hurts to--” She inhaled sharply, holding one of her hands against her chest. 

Haseul surged closer, as if on command - entering full on nurse mode once she realized one of us was injured, “To what, honey? What hurts?” She gently pushed Sooyoung aside, a bold fucking maneuver considering how homicidally she’d snapped like forty-five seconds earlier. She looked Jiwoo up and down repeatedly, her gaze lingering on any parts that bled. 

Jiwoo inhaled sharply again, not seeming to be getting much real air in, “Breathe.”

Sooyoung was absolutely _pissed_. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she went and kicked that guy in the face again just for good measure, she was visibly fuming with rage. If steam actually came out of people’s ears like in cartoons, she’d be going off like a kettle right about then. 

Haseul nodded in understanding. I’ll give her credit: she had a really good bedside manner. Whenever I got sick, even with just a cold, she practically wouldn’t leave me alone until I was better. She wasn’t panicking or showing any real big emotion to make Jiwoo freak out even more, she was just dealing with this like she was a patient of hers that needed reassurance. “Okay, okay, just calm down, sweetie. You might’ve broken a rib.”

Jiwoo’s eyes widened. Sooyoung exclaimed seemingly on her behalf, “ _What?!_ ” 

Haseul was quick to try and calm the situation, “Shh!! It’s alright, there’s not much we can do right now, okay?” She didn’t keep talking until Jiwoo gave her the slightest semblance of a nod, “So just... breathe, slow. In and out, with me, right?” She breathed in an exaggerated manner, and Jiwoo did her best to mimic it, but you could tell she was still in pain. Haseul’s old panic was like nowhere in sight now - her inner nurse had taken over.

Jiwoo winced again, “I-It hurts.” Ow. The way she said that made my heart ache, for some reason. Sooyoung got close and gently kissed the side of Jiwoo’s head, and the wounded girl leaned into the contact.

Haseul nodded again, probably just glad Jiwoo was breathing semi-normally despite the pain, “I know, I know, is that all that hurts?”

Jiwoo swallowed hard and shook her head, pointing to her left arm, “Um... no, my wrist--” 

Jungeun stepped up, having been politely off to the side since she helped Jiwoo back up the escalator, “Is it broken?” She asked gently, delicately clasping Jiwoo’s elbow and lifting up her forearm.

“I-I don’t know, i-it just hurts really bad.” Her lip was quivering and her voice broke. The tears in her eyes got worse. Oh shit, I didn’t want to see Jiwoo cry. I wouldn’t know what to do. That’d be like... the worst thing ever, next to Yerim crying. Sooyoung shifted her grip to wrap an arm around Jiwoo’s waist, pulling her even closer. Jiwoo reached and grabbed a fistful of Sooyoung’s shirt with her good hand.

Jungeun moved, standing right in front of Jiwoo and gently pushing her head up from under her chin, “Jiwooming...” The two actually both smiled slightly from the nickname, “It’s okay. Don’t cry, it’s alright.” That obviously wasn’t true, but her tone and the way she’d said actually made me believe it as a bystander. 

Jiwoo sniffled, blinking rapidly, “I-I’m not gonna cry.” Thank god.

Jungeun gently rested her hands on both of Jiwoo’s shoulders, staring deep in her eyes, “I’m getting you out of here. I promise you.” Whoa. Jungeun promises were the real deal. I’d feel safer, if I were Jiwoo. I think it worked, cuz her face changed ever so slightly. She looked less scared now.

Haseul took a minute or so, looking at Jiwoo’s wrist, asking her what motions hurt and all that good nurse stuff, until finally, she sighed and instead loosely clasped Jiwoo’s hand. “It might be broken, honey. It’s hard for me to make a definite call without an x-ray, which we obviously don’t have, but... it might be broken.” 

Jiwoo swallowed hard again, fighting tears away still. “O-Okay.” I noticed her subtly wrench her grip on Sooyoung’s shirt. 

Haseul knelt down, examining the multitude of cuts on Jiwoo’s legs more closely, “These don’t look _too_ deep, but I’m not sure. And they look like they sting, huh?” She looked up at Jiwoo, who nodded slightly in confirmation. “Jungeun, we should stop in a store or something. I want to patch her up if I can, these could get infected and I’ve got bandaids, at least. I should try and make her a splint for her wrist, but that might not be doable right now.” Haseul stood back up, “Did anyone else get badly hurt?” The question was met with silence. “Okay.”

Our previous quest to find the others was forgotten as soon as Jiwoo got wounded like this. The leadership role was kinda swapped over to Haseul at this point, since this was more her deal. Jungeun and Sooyoung were trying to be all tough, and they had been before, but now they were really visibly cracking. Both of them were like, shaking and incredibly freaked out. Jiwoo hadn’t gotten that badly hurt yet. So yeah, it was kinda startling. Having our two toughest people this shook wasn’t that relieving, though. I was sufficiently intimidated by both of them, so I decided to watch my mouth from now on in fear of making either of them snap by accident.

Whatever. We all just stuck to Haseul as she looked for a building to duck inside. I just hoped Jinsol and Vivi would be okay for a little while longer on their own.

* * *

_**Jinsol** _

Donghyuck stuck behind me, letting me hold both the hammer and the flashlight and never once asking for them back. He helped me navigate these confusingly similar concrete halls, but besides that he’d taken a total backseat. We hadn’t said a single word to one another besides our initial introductions and his occasional timid “left,” or “right”s, and I was wondering if maybe we should try to chat. Get to know each other, or something. I mean, I already trusted him - partially just because he was so incredibly unthreatening. But I still had a fuckton of questions, most of which I was ignoring from my desperation to get back to Vivi, or really to get back to anyone. 

Sighing lightly to myself, I looked over my shoulder slightly at him. His brow was crinkled in worry, or maybe it was fear. “Hey. Why’re you even down here anyways? This place is creepy as shit.” I asked him softly, having a feeling that if I made my tone too intimidating he’d just crumble away into dust. It was strangely reassuring to find someone so visibly terrified by things. It made me feel like less shit for still being so scared. 

He cleared his throat slightly, “U-Um... honestly? None of the other guys really come down here, and... Hansol scares me.” He said that as if it was some sort of shameful confession, but I would’ve been more concerned if he _wasn’t_ scared of Hansol. 

I nodded readily in agreement, “I’m right there with you. He scares the shit out of me too.” 

Donghyuck stuck close, so much so that if I ever stopped to ask which way to go he’d literally bump into me. I paused again at a small crossroads, and he quickly jumped back so as not to make that accidental contact again, “Uh-- left. And, um... I mean, it makes sense for you to be scared of him. He tried to kill you.” 

A valid point, but it made me wonder something. “He hasn’t ever tried to kill any of you?” 

“Oh-- no, I didn’t mean that. Hansol’s killed a few of us. Mainly whoever isn’t listening to him, but also one time just... cuz.” 

“Just cuz?” I shined my flashlight behind me so I could see his face, and I felt my blood run cold when I saw him nod forebodingly. “What the fuck...? Do you know what he was in jail for?” 

Donghyuck shook his head, “He changes the story every time anyone asks. So we stopped asking.”

Damn, Hansol really knew how to be as scary as humanly possible, huh? Killing people “just because” wasn’t something any of us had dealt with before. I just hoped to _god_ that he didn’t find any of the others. I’d barely survived and I’d been near him for like, two minutes. I didn’t bother asking Donghyuck any other questions, instead just steadily walking ahead. 

“Here, w-wait, um--” He reached forward all of a sudden and politely grabbed my hand, only for his grip to instead shift to my forearm. “This door. It’s this door.” He opened it up and held it that way for me. I wasn’t sure if it was out of courtesy or because he didn’t want to be the one going first without any sort of weapon. Finally, we’d reached a staircase. God, I thought we’d never make it out of there. Without any hesitation, I rushed up the steps - Donghyuck struggling to keep up at my suddenly increased pace. “W-Wait, um, Jinsol, where’d you leave your friend? Do you remember?” 

I nodded. Vivi first. We didn’t have bandages yet, but right now I just wanted to make sure she was okay more than anything. If Hansol had found her, or any of his lackeys, she’d be in serious trouble. “Uh, a um, some sort of makeup store? I-I didn’t look at the sign--”

“--First floor?” He asked instantly. 

“What-- um, yes! Yeah, the first floor. She’s hurt, one of your guys shot her in the shoulder.” I did my best to keep spite out of my tone, but the thought of some random prisoner opening fire on us for no good reason made me sneer to myself.

  
He corrected me without hesitation, “They aren’t ‘my guys,’ they’re all... not nice, except my brother. And even he can kinda scare me sometimes. Okay? Please don’t think I’m with them. I’m not.” He moved to clasp my hand again, his grip loose. His skin was surprisingly soft, but I felt a few notable little scars on his fingers. 

When I met his eyes I could see just how serious he was about that sentiment. And I respected it. “Okay. Well, _my_ group is in danger because of them.” His lips parted again, but I spoke over him before he had the chance, “And I know, that’s not your fault. You aren’t part of it, I can tell.” 

He nodded readily, “Yeah, yes, i-if I can help it, I’m gonna get you and your friends out of here.” He told me softly, with a surprisingly steadier tone than he’d had since I’d met him a few minutes before. He shifted to instead take the flashlight from my hand, offering to lead the way with the gesture. I let him, but tightened my grip on the hammer just to be safe. “C’mon, I know where that store is. We’re right nearby.” 

Oh, thank goodness. Once we got to the top of the stairs, he pushed another door open - and finally I recognized something. The first floor entrance we’d come through was visible far away. Jungeun wasn’t though, which made sense - I think I caught a glimpse of her running up to the second floor earlier during all the chaos. Vivi was still somewhere down there, hopefully. Donghyuck realized that before I even had a chance to, and he started to briskly walk ahead. Too slow. It was pretty dim in here, and we still needed that light, but I didn’t have the patience to simply stroll there. So I picked up the pace, jogging past him, and he kept up. 

“Jinsol, h-hang on a sec I--” 

His weak, cautionary statement was cut off by a sudden gunshot. I stopped still, holding my arm out in front of Donghyuck. I felt weirdly protective of him already. Who had shot? It was coming straight from the way we were heading. Around where Vivi would’ve been. Fuck, was that her? Had she shot? At what? Was she okay? Was she safe? My heart was beating out of my chest. It was my job to help her, and I’d gotten myself caught. If she was hurt, it was on me. 

On sheer, desperate instinct alone, I started to run again, only for Donghyuck’s thin but strong arms to wrap around my waist and hold me back. I squirmed against his grasp initially, but he held me still, and I understood why after only a few seconds. A horde of infected swarmed straight into some store, clammorring through the doors. I heard more and more gunshots, screaming, infected growling. Fuck. What if Vivi was in there? I needed to see. I needed to help. 

I weakly elbowed behind me and struck Donghyuck in the upper chest - not too hard, just enough to faze him. He flinched a bit more than was necessary, grip loosening, and I broke free - running straight toward the cosmetics store.

“ _Jinsol-_ ugh!” I heard Donghyuck harshly whisper in frustration behind me, but then his footsteps at my heels. He was small, he might be able to catch up, and I didn’t want him to try and stop me again. I needed to help. 

I wasn’t stupid enough to run straight into the store with all the infected, but I would at least check the makeup place. I would at _least_ check to see if Vivi was where I left her, or if she’d gotten up and walked out. I needed to. I sprinted desperately straight past the store with the infected, hearing all the screams and growls and not even flinching, but then I heard something else. Something different. 

Donghyuck yelped. It was a small thing, but unmistakably him. I skidded to a stop on my heels, spinning around, and saw him sprawled out on the tile. He’d staggered on blood stained glass and fallen - trying to catch himself but only worsening the situations by sinking the shards into his palms. He tried to keep back any more sounds, but a few infected closer to the front of the store spotted him. Shit. 

Not hesitating, I grabbed him by his shoulders and tugged him to his feet, pulling him along with me as I took off running again. I stopped for just a second in front of the makeup store, wondering if Vivi was there, just waiting for me. It looked the same as I’d left it, and I wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad sign, but Donghyuck didn’t let me linger. He was the one to drag me forward that time, and rightfully so. Those infected were coming after us. They were way too close for comfort. We needed to run. 

We just kept going. And going. And going. God, we were getting so far from the only place Vivi might’ve been. A panic tugged at my chest, wondering if I’d see her again, if she was in danger all because of me. A huge part of me wanted to turn around and try to fend off those infected with nothing but my hammer, but the small rationale left in my brain told me that was too high risk. But running away felt so _wrong_ , I’d come this way to find her, but I was only getting further away. 

Suddenly, I nearly jumped out of my skin when someone latched onto my arm and yanked me roughly inside a store as we sprinted past. I almost cried out from surprise, but a hand was clamped firmly over my mouth. Another figure did the same to Donghyuk, and we were pulled into pitch darkness. I tried to squirm free, fight or flight taking over, but the person’s grip only tightened on me. Fuck. More prisoners? This person was so strong, I didn’t stand a chance. I looked closer at whoever had grabbed Donghyuck. He was tall, sort of slender, and... wait. He had a police badge. I didn’t want to hope. I still couldn’t see well, my eyes had yet to adjust, but... was it Jun? The person holding onto me’s grip shifted slightly - becoming less hostile and almost... reassuring. When I squirmed again, they let me go, and I turned around to face them. It was Hyunjin. Oh thank _fuck._

The cluster of infected that’d been on our tail had seen us get dragged in here. They scrambled inside after us as soon as they caught up, milky eyes wide, and I froze. It was too dark for them to see us. If we stayed quiet they wouldn’t notice... but Donghyuck still held his flashlight. Jun seemed to realize it too, and he acted fast - reaching down and covering the light with his hand. It didn’t put it out all the way, but it dimmed it. The infected still got close, their heads tilting, looking for the slightest light and listening for the faintest sound. They were about to literally walk straight into us. 

The only safe thing to do would be to back up and hide. I was too scared to count exactly how many were inside with us, but I could hear vague footsteps from outside that made me think there were even more than the ones who’d come in here. If we made a single wrong noise, this would all fall to shit. Thankfully, my eyes had adjusted just enough to see silhouettes and outlines of objects. This was kind of a big store. I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. I couldn’t afford to bump into anything. My clumsiness was not welcome here. 

Hyunjin started to slowly, cautiously back up - all of her movements expertly coordinated and careful. I hadn’t expected any less. Jun and I were equally clumsy, so I met his eyes - telling him wordlessly to not trip over anything, and he just shot me a toothy grin and a wink. God, he was crazy. I watched as he gently gripped Donghyuck by his arm and lightly tugged him along as he turned around - not trusting himself to back away without seeing where he was going. I did the same as I held my breath. 

I slinked behind a nearby counter and pressed myself against it, as if trying to just sink into the surface and disappear. I’d lost track of Jun, Hyunjin and Donghyuck in my panic, and if they were smart, I wouldn't be able to hear them either. Despite knowing they were here with me somewhere, I felt so isolated it was unreal.

The infected knew they’d seen us come in here, so they weren’t giving up easy. You could hear their subdued growling and their uneven footsteps as they did a haphazard sort of patrol around the area. I clamped my hand over my mouth, not wanting to breathe too loud but finding it hard when my heart was beating so hard against my chest. 

We couldn’t afford to stay here. If the exit was clear, we should try to make a break for it. I felt safer running from them than being trapped in this pitch black death trap of an unfamiliar space. I slowly poked my head out just enough so I could look around. Exits, where were the exits? I ran through the practically familiar you-need-to-get-the-fuck-out-fast thought process in an instant, but only saw the way we’d come through. There was a door in the back, but the odds of it being a break room were more likely than it being an actual exit. Just our luck.

One of the patrolling infected was getting way too close to my hiding place, twitching inhumanly as blood dripped from its teeth and off its chin. I ducked low again, literally sweating from my terror. I could heard its footsteps closing in. Fuck. It’d find me if it came over here. I wasn't hidden well enough, and there was nowhere else to go. Nope, I needed to make a break for some other spot, I just _so_ didn't want to. The reluctance and terror was utterly consuming. It felt like I was glued to my spot. 

_Come on. Come on. You like your jugular vein where it is, right? Then fucking move._ I tried to psyche myself up but it really wasn't working. I looked around again, squinting through the darkness, wishing to just catch a glimpse of Hyunjin or Jun because their presence was so reassuring, but they were nowhere in sight. Finally, I clenched my fists with white knuckles before daring to poke my head out cautiously again--

\--only to promptly be greeted by its _fucking_ _face_ two inches from mine. I gasped, and it was audible, and it heard. The color drained from my face and my instinct told me to take off running, but my fear held me to the spot. I just stood there, paralyzed. It was almost like time had stopped. 

Until finally, it let out a monstrous growl and lunged. I backed up on instinct – without looking, just barely moving out of reach of its prying fingers. I stepped back further and furhter, eventually hitting a wall - watching in terror as this thing clamored noisily over the counter. It was gonna run straight at me unless I did something.

* * *

_**Hyunjin** _

I’d heard one of the infected growl loudly all of a sudden, and I poked my head from my hiding place to see an infected lunging straight over a counter at Jinsol. Fuck. I was too far off to get to her in time. _Fucking_ _move_ _you big goof._ I thought to myself desperately, clenching my entire body as I watched in awful anticipation. She had to move. Or it’d get her.

  
Finally, she brought her arm back and chucked what I hadn’t noticed was a hammer straight toward the entrance of the store. I wasn’t sure if her clumsy ass had aimed for it, or if she’d just gotten indescribably lucky, but the hammer slammed straight against a display rack. The jarring sound of metal-on-metal resonated off the walls, and a good chunk of the infected rushed straight for it. Jinsol just stood there, stunned still by her own fear. Ugh, that was _dumb_. An infected that’d been closer to me was gonna run straight into her on its way to investigate the noise. Unless I stopped it. And I planned to. 

I dared to break into a run - knowing that my footsteps would at least be slightly muffled by the metal sound still echoing, and reached the infected’s back just in time. Before it had a chance to reach Jinsol, I sank my machete straight through its chest - impaling it on the blade and tossing it off in a matter of seconds. It fell hard, crashing into a jewelry display case before I had the chance to properly catch its body. It didn’t shatter the glass, but it made an audible crack in it, and only made even more noise when the corpse fully collapsed to the ground. Shit. 

I latched onto Jinsol’s arm and pulled her to my side along with me as I quickly stepped back. She clung onto my shirt with both of her hands, her breath nearly audible in my ear. She was shaking and she had goosebumps. I realized as we walked that she actually had a very slight limp. What’d happened, and could I beat up whatever did it? I could figure that out later. Now was far from the time. 

The infected were rushing toward us. Fast. Faster than we were moving. Shit. I dared to increase our pace, holding my breath and glad Jinsol had enough sense to hold hers too. It was terrifying and tense, but I slowly edged us back to my old spot, which was a bit more secure. I was near some sort of break room, but I hadn’t bothered trying the door, knowing it’d just be a dead end anyway. But it actually might be a good place to talk, if we could get in and out without any noise. 

I gently put my hand on Jinsol’s jaw and aimed her head in my direction so she’d meet my eyes. She was scared, yeah, but I think part of it was worry. I hadn’t caught a glimpse of Jun yet, I’d barely even seen where he’d tried to hide. I pointed to the nearby door, making a talking gesture with my hand, and she nodded frantically in understanding. She moved, as if to head straight for it herself, but I held her gently in place, gesturing again for her to be _quiet_. She barely addressed that, instead getting to her feet and pushing that door open. It creaked. I wasn’t sure if it was loud enough to draw them, but I wasn’t gonna take the risk, instead shooting up and practically dragging Jinsol inside. Once we were in, I spun and shut the door as gently as I possibly could. 

As soon as it was closed, Jinsol was already whisper-shouting at me, “Jun, d-did you see Jun? Did you??” Her eyes were wide. She was still shaking. 

I took a second to look around: some bumfuck break room with nothing in it besides a few chairs, a sink, and a shabby little fridge that reeked of rotten food. I gently clasped her hands, only for her to tighten her grip so hard it nearly hurt. “No. But he’s out there. And I didn’t hear anything get him. Right?” 

“R-right, right,” She sniffled, blinking rapidly. It was too dark to see if her eyes were glossy but I hoped they weren’t. This was no time to break down. Crying was for when we were safe. And we were just about as far from safe as we could get. “I-I need to get out there, I-I-I need to help him, I _need_ to.” 

  
“ _We_ will,” I told her softly, daring to raise my voice ever so slightly out of its whisper just to the emphasis would really impact her. “We just need to think... There’s eight out there. Right?” She nodded slowly,. Unfortunately I had less of a plan than I was pretending. “We just have to... figure this out, I... fuck, okay, there’s eight of them out there. Four of us. You’ve got... what do you have? Nothing?” She shrugged. Great. “I have my machete, Jun has a pistol but he can’t use that. That kid has a flashlight that damn near almost got him killed... and that’s about it.” I glanced down at my already bloodied knife. Okay, so was it really me and this thing versus eight infected. I didn’t like those odds. We needed Jinsol’s hammer back, at the very least, or we needed to find a way to make a break for it. 

Jinsol sniffled again, wiping weakly beneath one of her eyes, “He’s always looked out for me, my whole life. So I think it’s my turn now...” She took a deep breath, and all her composure seemed to return to her in an instant. Like she’d flicked a switch or something. I could practically see the cogs in her head turning as she looked around the tiny, pitiful room we were in. She started to pace around, really assessing what we had, but there wasn’t much. I wasn’t sure what she was looking for. The dummy even opened that toxic fridge, only to shut it immediately at the rancid smell of whatever had been forgotten inside it as she stifled a gag. 

“What’re you looking for?” I asked her softly. Her determination was intriguing. She definitely had some sort of idea.

“Something to put over one of their heads...” She told me plainly. She opened up the cupboard beneath the filthy kitchen sink and rooted around it frantically. “They seem to be blind and dumb enough that they wouldn’t know what to do. They might flail around a bit, yaknow? Make some noise that isn’t us for once?” 

Oh. That was actually really smart. I had a feeling Jinsol was a case of being really book-smart but sort of common-sense dumb. Not the worst combo to be. I wouldn’t have ever come up with that, so I was grateful. “Yeah. That makes sense...” Jinsol triumphantly tugged out what I realized was a trash bag, holding back a bright smile at the small accomplishment. It almost made me smile too, but I was still too far in survival mode. 

I took it from her hands and opened it up. It had strings to open and close it, and it was pretty thick - the infected wouldn’t be able to scratch through it, and I could tighten the strings enough so it couldn’t shake it off too fast. Perfect. Clearly wanting to get outside and help Jun as soon as she could, Jinsol didn’t hesitate to rush toward the door and cautiously open it again. 

The infected had spread out again after realizing the hammer was a bit of a lost cause. I wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. They’d stepped away from the cluster that’d blocked the entrance, so that might be good for us. But now there was one right in front of the door, right when we went to open it. We got lucky - the door didn’t creak again, so it didn’t know we were here. Jinsol made a motion, gesturing for me to put the bag over its head, but I had another idea. 

Without asking for her advice, I wrapped the bag around my hand, reached out for the infected, covered its mouth and pulled it into the room with us. Her eyes widened, but she thankfully understood what she should do - shutting the door gently once it was inside. My assumption had been right, and its growls were too muffled to be audible much at all with the bag shoved between its teeth. I didn’t hesitate to sink my machete deep into its guts, yanking it up and twisting the blade for good measure. It fell to the floor in a pool of its own blood, twitching, but definitely dead. Good. One less to deal with. 

“Jesus. You’re really good at that.” Jinsol muttered to me under her breath. A weird compliment, but she wasn’t wrong. Okay. Back to the old plan. 

I moved and opened the door again, pleased to see that the nearest infected was a fair distance away now. Jinsol poked her head out after me, looking all over for any sign of her brother, but there was nothing I could see. I wished there was. I didn’t like seeing Jinsol so upset. It was way better when she was being a big dumb lovable goof. Whatever. We had to focus. Just to be safe, I tried to gesture for Jinsol to wait there - so she could hide in the room if things went south, but she firmly shook her head. I could tell she wasn’t gonna waver on that, and we weren’t in a position to argue. Fine. It was up to her. 

She stuck to my back as I slowly, cautiously edged forward. One of the infected had stopped still, its head still moving frantically on its neck as it twitched and scratched at its exposed skin. It was standing near a bunch of rather precarious looking shelves. Perfect. I stepped closer, closer, _closer_ \- holding my breath again and praying that the bag didn’t accidentally crinkle too audibly. Until finally, I was right behind it. 

I reached up, opening the bag in one swift motion and bringing it down firmly over the infected’s head. I tightened the strings just enough for it to stick but not enough to choke it out, and quickly backed up - leaving it plenty of space to growl rabidly and falil its arms in all directions. Like Jinsol had thought, it staggered aimlessly around, clawing at its face, hitting shelves and knocking them to the ground, nearly tripping over itself. Infected from all over the store swarmed straight toward him from all the commotion, again, like Jinsol had predicted. But we hadn’t predicted just how quickly they’d get there, or that we’d be right in the path of one as it barreled straight toward us. Shit. 

* * *

_**Jinsol** _

My plan had worked, and I let myself feel smart and accomplished for a few fleeting seconds before things went to shit. The bagged infected was making noise like I’d predicted, but it was faster than I’d been prepared for. I didn’t freeze again, thankfully. I staggered ever so slightly out of the way as one of the infected sprinted for me - teeth gnashing and arms reaching out to grab at anything in its path. Hyunjin didn’t have time to move like I had, though, and I saw intense panic flicker behind her eyes before she reacted on instinct. She slammed her blade through its upper chest, near the base of its neck, nearly severing its head altogether - something that normally would’ve been a smart, quick response to danger, but now? It wasn’t the best reaction. The infected let out a pained screech that rang out across the whole store, dying shortly thereafter, but the noise was already heard. 

Shit. I tried to think again, my brain going into overdrive, wondering what we could do or where we could go. The first thing I did was latch back onto Hyunjin and pull her close. Unexpectedly, her strong fingers wrapped tightly around my forearm. I think she was scared. I think she knew she’d fucked up, and she was out of ideas on what we should do now. I tried to quickly edge us away, to narrowly scoot around the four infected closing in from all sides, but one of them bumped straight into us. Hyunjin readied her machete, wanting to protect herself and probably me, but there was no way she could take four of them. Not all by herself. Desperate, I clung tightly to her and ducked low - hurting my knees from how sudden the movement was. It wasn’t much, they’d still find us, but their initial grabs only caught air. It’d only be a second before they figured it out. 

“ _Yo!!_ ” A familiar voice suddenly called out from the other side of the store, and all the infected paused - looking straight to the noise with rabid growls. Hyunjin and I looked toward the noise too. That was Jun. That idiot, it was Jun. He stood on top of a counter, wielding his pistol like a blunt weapon. He looked like he was ready to fight all of them off, but he couldn’t. He’d saved us, though. The infected were distracted enough to go for him, and Hyunjin had enough sense to pull me along with her as she started crawling on her hands and knees away from the cluster we’d drawn. The infected swarmed where Jun stood and he stiffened - still ready to fight. I felt my whole body freeze, wondering if I was about to watch my brother die. 

That was when a sudden light cut a beam through the thick, persistent darkness. Literally anything with eyes stared at it immediately, and I saw it was Donghyuck. He held his flashlight with two violently trembling hands, pointing it straight into the horde. Their white eyes were drawn to it and they blinked rapidly. 

They seemed torn for a moment - their small brains unsure if they should go for the noise Jun had caused or for the sudden light. They split. Three or so still lunged for my big dope of a brother, but he responded - hopping backward off the counter and stiffly stuffing his gangly frame into a nearby corner. They were confused from the relocation, but still coming for him. The rest of the infected went straight for Donghyuck. Shit. 

I staggered to my feet, trying to run toward him, to help or _something_ , but Hyunjin held me still. What was she doing?? He was frozen from terror. I had to get to him, I wouldn’t just watch those things tear him apart. Her grip was too firm, though. I squirmed, trying to break free, dread consuming me as they got closer and closer to that absolutely terrified, helpless boy--

\--until finally, he snapped himself out of his shock and he threw that flashlight as hard as he could to the other side of the store. It went far, shattering hard through a glass display case, still shining bright. The ones who had come to Jun were drawn away from the noise. Most of the infected running at Donghyuck obediently followed the moving light like a moth to a flame, but one of them had already been too close. It latched onto the front of his shirt. My heart nearly stopped. Hyunjin let me go. I ran for him. I knew I wasn’t going fast enough. I just didn’t want to believe it. 

But Jun was there. He’d been closer. He was quick, there in an instant, grabbing the infected by the back of its jacket and pulling it hard enough to get it away. His face was visibly strained, and a vein looked like it was popping in his neck. The infected was way bigger than him, but I knew Jun wouldn’t let Donghyuck get hurt if he had any say in the matter. He wanted to help people, and I knew that, but I was worried he’d forget to help _himself_. He didn’t have a weapon, and neither did Donghyuck. Hyunjin tried to rush forward, making her steps light, and I was right there with her, but I didn’t know if we’d make it. 

That was when I heard a faint clicking noise that I couldn’t quite place. It was only when I realized Jun was somehow successfully restraining it, that there was a handcuff on one of its wrists. He reached an exposed pipe on the wall and slapped the other, empty cuff around the metal - successfully pinning the infected to the wall and stepping a safe distance from it. The infected growled rabidly and struggled, but there was no way it was breaking free from that. Jun moved to the cowering, terrified Donghyuck and grabbed firmly onto one of his hands, before meeting my eyes and pointing toward the exit. The other infected were coming over - drawn by the rabid growls of the one we’d restrained - but the entrance was clear now. We should run. And boy, did we run. 

The infected’s collective sprinting and angry screaming was just loud enough for us not to be caught as we all rushed straight for the door. I expected them to hear us, to chase us, to grab one of us and for all of this to end in some horrible, bloody mess.

But nothing happened. They didn’t hear. We burst straight out the door, unhindered. I barely even believed it, blinking in absolute awe at being able to properly see again outside of pitch darkness. Part of me wanted to just sit on the floor and breathe, to let myself process that things were okay, that we’d all gotten out, but now wasn’t the time. Not just yet. 

I was tugged quickly along by Hyunjin, who still held me close as she sprinted away. It was smart. We didn’t know if there were more infected outside, if they’d spot us out here, or what, and it was better to be safe. My leg ached from all of this ceaseless running. This wasn’t great for my limp, but I pushed through it until Hyunjin finally let us all stop. We’d reached another seemingly abandoned section of the mall, and she pushed me to gently sit on a bench. She must’ve noticed my limp or something. We all just hovered, silent besides catching our breath.

Donghyuck suddenly hugged Jun tightly, still visibly shaking from that entire fiasco. “Thank you, th-thank you, thank you--”

“--Whoa, no problem, buddy!” Jun gently patted Donghyuck’s back and ruffled the top of his hair, a toothy grin coming to his face again, “You alright?” He pulled back from the sudden hug, gently looking at Donghyuck’s shirt, which had been stretched and wrinkled from where the infected had grabbed. “Did he scratch you up or anything?” Donghyuck just timidly shook his head, blushing slightly. He didn’t need to be embarrassed. We all froze up sometimes. Hell, I’d done the same thing earlier. Jun smiled at the confirmation of the kid’s wellbeing, “Glad to hear it! You’re with Jindorri, so you’re good in my book. Speaking of,” He gently patted Donghyuck’s shoulder before approaching me - literally dragging me from the bench, to my feet, and wrapping me so tight in his arms I almost choked on air. 

I didn’t even flinch from the intensity of the embrace and returned it just as hard, burying my face in his shoulder where it always seemed to fit and just letting him squeeze me. He sighed shakily at first, but then let out a big laugh that made his chest vibrate - lifting me off my feet and spinning me around in a circle. I felt myself smiling, giggling a bit too. It’d been probably a full minute, but I wasn’t done with the hug yet. Thankfully neither was he. 

“Fuck, you really gave me a scare.” He told me softly. 

“ _I_ gave _you_ a scare? Asshole, what’re you doing, _handcuffing_ infected like that?! Are you crazy?! It could’ve killed you, you _need_ to be more careful, okay?” I told him firmly, resting my chin on his chest to look up at him. He wrinkled his nose at me. I didn’t like him dismissing my worry like that. I was serious.

Hyunjin stepped closer, wiping her bloody machete off on her already bloodied sweatpants, “That was smart, Jun. Like, actually smart. Didn’t know you had it in you.” She actually smiled ever so slightly, one of her pointy canines showing. 

He chuckled, trying to let me go, but I just squeezed my grip tighter. “Hell, me neither! I arrested him for being too spooky.” He added a familiar goofy, childish inflection to his voice at the last statement, and I pulled back so I could stare up at him with a slight glare. God, I genuinely couldn’t tell if he wasn’t taking these things seriously and that was so terrifying. Donghyuck laughed weakly from Jun’s dumb comment, and I wished he hadn’t because we really shouldn’t be encouraging his stupid jokes, or they wouldn’t stop. 

Hyunjin turned toward me, seeming so absolutely unamused by Jun’s comment that she pretended she hadn’t heard it. “Where’s Vivi?” Her tone was incredibly sobering and it snapped all of us back to the situation at hand. 

I swallowed hard, “I-I lost track of her. I tried to go find stuff for her, yaknow, medicine, but I uh, kinda got caught by some guys. And I fell down an elevator shaft.” 

Hyunjin and Jun both blinked in confusion at that blunt statement, Jun seeming more visibly stunned, “You--? What? You? Jindorrie, I know we’re clumsy but c’mon now--”

Hyunjin stepped closer, “You’re okay, though?” Her tone was different again. Softer. I hadn’t expected it. Hell, I honestly hadn’t expected any of what Hyunjin had done back there. She’d watched out for all of us. I seriously owed her. 

“Yeah. Thanks to you guys...” I gestured at Donghyuck, who was standing a bit off to the side, clearly not quite knowing what his role was in all this. “And Donghyuck. He helped after I took that fall.” Donghyuck blushed again when all eyes moved to him. 

Hyunjin seemed unfazed by the introduction, “Great. Thanks, kid. We’ve gotta keep this big dope around, if we can, but right now we’ve gotta try and get back to the others. Jun just fuckin’, randomly ran off. God, you two are really are siblings.” 

I laughed lightly, “And what’s that supposed to mean?” 

“That you’re so fucking dumb it makes me wanna strangle you, but I feel like I’ve gotta keep you safe too cuz you make me laugh.” She muttered that last part under her breath, already starting to walk off - assuming we’d follow. We did. My chest got all light from what she’d said. I was glad I could make her laugh. It was the least I could do. 

* * *

_**Haseul** _

It’s hard to describe how unsettling it was for Jungeun and Sooyoung to both be so unstable. They were doing their best to hide it - it wasn’t in their nature to be this emotionally affected by something, and it must’ve been hard for them to properly cope. Jungeun had resorted to near silence - pacing around me in foreboding circles as I did my best to litter Jiwoo’s bleeding legs with bandaids. There were way more cuts than I thought. Jiwoo powered through a lot of the pain, wincing when I cleaned them with antiseptic but waving anyone away who tried to hold her hand. She seemed adamant on staying strong, which was admirable, and I was proud of her, but it only seemed to be distressing Sooyoung and Jungeun more - because she wasn’t letting them be as protective as their instincts told them to be. 

Nobody had really said a word. Not even Yeojin. People were just waiting patiently, checking their weapons, staying semi-vigilant. It’d only been a few minutes since that whole shitshow - we’d ducked into a nearby store and I’d set Jiwoo down on a chair to treat her. Jiwoo was aware enough to actually lift up one of our attacker’s weapons - the wooden 2x4 - and hold it in her hands so she wouldn’t be unarmed. I was only getting more and more impressed by her. 

“We need to get the _fuck_ out of here.” Sooyoung broke the dragging silence. She’d resorted to standing next to Jiwoo, but wasn’t directly touching or interacting with her. No, she was just radiating her own fears and worries onto me as she subtly tapped her foot and watched my every move like a hawk. 

I glanced up at her as I gently wiped another bloodstain from one of Jiwoo’s wound with antiseptic, apologizing softly when she winced, “We aren’t leaving without the others.” That was just a given. 

Yerim had been hovering over my shoulder - not helping, but content to just sit there. Surprisingly it was actually sort of making me feel supported instead of observed. She chipped in too, “Girl Scout Law Code #4 - a girl scout is a sister to all.” I nodded slightly at the sentiment, even if it was spoken in one of those campy rules. 

Sooyoung sighed lightly, shaking her head, “So many people have gotten hurt or almost killed, this place is a fucking death trap--”

I didn’t like her tone. It was incredibly nerve wracking. Yeah, we’d been through the fucking wringer, of course, but that didn’t mean we should just cut our losses and leave. I blinked hard, speaking more firmly as I emphasized the same sentiment again, _“--We aren’t leaving without the others.”_

“I’m not trying to say we should, I just--”

“--It sounds like you’re suggesting we just fucking abandon them--” Jungeun stepped closer to the rest of us as she entered the conversation. Her arms were crossed. It was hard to read her expression, but it was far from happy.

“I just want to keep us safe--” Sooyoung was starting to enter the defensive. I didn’t want to fight, that was the last thing we needed, but we had to snap her out of this weird survival of the fittest mindset she’d fallen into just because she didn’t know how to cope with Jiwoo getting hurt.

“-- _us_ includes _all of us._ ” There was no way in hell that I was gonna leave Jinsol, Vivi, or Hyunjin here. No way in fucking hell. They were with us, and they always had been with us. It was the absolute least we could do. 

Everyone was just on edge. Tension was palpable in the air as we kept cutting each other off, raising our voices, getting more and more combative without even really realizing. Some of us had just gotten seriously hurt, we were trapped in this horrible building full of infected and random hostile, armed men, and now we’d fractured off into all these groups. I felt myself dangerously close to breaking from all of this pressure, and I was honestly struggling so hard to keep it together. 

Sooyoung shook her head, not seeming to appreciate what I was implying, “I _know_ it does, I’m not saying--”

“S-stop fighting,” Yerim weakly spoke, sounding audibly frightened. I didn’t have time to try and reassure her, too focused on the task at hand and the ongoing, overlapping argument that was going on. 

“Yerim-ah, shush...” Chaewon stepped closer, gently trying to literally tug Yerim away from the discourse, but the girl scout held her ground despite looking pretty distressed. I didn’t blame her. We hadn’t really fought like this before, not since we’d been in the city, which somehow felt like a lifetime ago. 

“Some of us are wounded--” Sooyoung tried to insist. 

“--and the others could be wounded too, just waiting for us to find them--” I tried to insist and get her to think more about who wasn’t here.

“No _shit_ but we have no fucking idea where they _are--”_ Sooyoung was getting more and more heated. Jiwoo’s occasional subdued wince or grimace of pain wasn’t helping anything either. 

“So we have to look for them--” Jungeun tried to inject more rationalization into the conversation.

It didn’t stick, Sooyoung brushed it off by bringing the focus back to our group, “Jiwoo and Hyejoo are hurt, we--” Hyejoo had gotten struck and I’d noticed, but she’d claimed she was okay. At this point, I was just gonna take her word for it, but it clearly affected Sooyoung more than she’d originally let on. 

_“--Vivi’s_ hurt!” I insisted, stopping my motions to glare up at Sooyoung..

Sooyoung wasn’t necessarily glaring, but she was visibly frustrated and dismayed. It was only getting worse from nobody else in the group siding with her and getting constantly interrupted, “I _know--_ ”

Yerim spoke again, “--Girl Scout Law Code #3 - A girl scout takes the initiative i-in helping others--”

Sooyoung finally snapped, her expression contorting to show all of her intense, misguided anger, “Will you _stop_ with those _fucking_ _rules_ _?!_ ”

Only Yerim snapped too. “ _They’re all I have, okay?!”_

The room went silent. Dead silent. Everyone stopped still, turning their heads to Yerim. Her eyes were glossy and her lip quivered, but she was glaring - which was such an unfamiliar expression for her to have. She was clutching onto her girl scout sash with white knuckles. I could see how hard she was shaking. Oh. I’d just been assuming this entire time that Yerim would be okay, that she was coping fine because, well, she was Yerim. That was stupid of me. I should’ve been paying her more attention, making sure she was alright, that she was processing all of this chaos. Sometimes I forgot she was so young, that this was all so overwhelming, that she cared so deeply about all of us and was probably so intensely distraught that the group had splintered and seemed to be splitting even more from the inside out. 

I reached closer, to rest my hand on her shoulder or her back, something, but she shrugged my hand away and got to her feet. My heart wrenched. She sniffled, blushing from her own outburst as she turned and stormed toward the entrance we’d come through - back turned to the rest of us after she got that distance. We all stared after her for a second, unsure of what to do, until Yeojin took initiative and followed after her obediently. She reached out like I had, to maybe touch her, comfort her, or something--

\--only for the deafening, familiar sound of a gunshot to make us all jump. A whizzing bullet shot straight through the store - going past Jiwoo’s shoulder and embedding itself in a back wall. Holy shit. That was close. For a split second, I’d thought it’d missed. Until Yerim turned around to face us, and I saw the blood streaming down the side of her face. 

* * *

**_Vivi_ **

I didn’t stay sitting in that spot for too long. Being idle made me feel guilty - I was sure that none of the others were in nearly such a relaxed position. Although I’d gotten a fair distance from a lot of the chaos, it didn’t mean that I couldn’t hear it. The knowledge that people I cared about were still in severe danger was gnawing at me, until I eventually dragged myself to my feet and started walking. I wasn’t sure where I was going, because obviously I wasn’t sure where any of the others had gone. Instead I wandered, semi-aimless, as vigilant as possible. The pain in my shoulder was already a bit less intense now that the wound wasn’t rubbing directly against my clothes. The linen material of the bandage was a welcome relief on the damaged skin. 

I was still on the first floor, but I remained hyper-aware of the levels above me. There could be some sort of danger just waiting to spot me from the shadows; whether that be another prisoner or an infected. I clutched my pistol tightly to my chest. Two bullets. I repeated the number over and over again in my head, almost as if worried I’d forget. 

Right as I was starting to wonder if this section of the mall was simply abandoned altogether, by both my friends and prisoners alike, I heard voices from the second floor. Panicked and still in survival mode, I ducked low behind a nearby bench and tried to eavesdrop undetected. The echo made it a bit too hard to decipher what was being said. From what I could gather, the pitch was high - hinting that it was the voice of a female. For a moment I wondered if it belonged to a female prisoner that was with the others, but my hypothesis had been and still was that these convicts came from an all-male prison. That was more likely, anyway. So maybe it was one of the others? My heart started to beat faster, but I didn’t let my hopes climb too high. 

I dared to edge closer to the source. The words became a bit more clear, but the echo was still distorting the voice just a bit too much for me to distinguish its owner. 

“I just want to keep us safe--” The first voice spoke up firmly, but was cut off by another. 

“-- _us_ includes _all of us_.” I gasped slightly. That sounded like Haseul. Again, I didn’t want to get my hopes up. That was dangerous, and might make me irrational. But... it sounded like her. I knew her voice. And Yeojin’s, too, but I didn’t hear from her. A true rarity. 

That was all I needed. Even if it wasn’t them, which due to sheer probability was incredibly likely, they sounded like they needed some help. I stood from my crouch, scanning the area for some way to get to the second floor. There was a flight of stairs thankfully nearby, and I rushed toward it, my mind buzzing so fast that I didn’t bother to try and piece together the scarce patches of dialogue I could catch through my eavesdropping. It didn’t matter what they were talking about - I just needed to _get there_. See them. Help them, hug them, _be_ there. 

Just as I started to ascend that staircase, a gunshot sounded. 

I flinched, nearly yelping from the sudden, deafening noise, and ducked low. It was coming from above, too. Had one of them shot? The only ones with loaded guns, if I remembered correctly, were Jun and Sooyoung. Why would they shoot, that was so ill-advised. What had they shot at? Or had it even been them? 

Oh no. More prisoners? I clutched my pistol tighter, waiting, hovering, wondering if more shots or more conversation would break this silence. That was when I heard a jumble of incoherent, overlapping exclamations of pure distress. Shit. I listened closer, trying to piece together what had happened, but the only clear thing I could make out was a chorus of panicked voices desperately saying, “Yerim,” over and over again. 

No, no no _no_. Had something happened to Yerim?? Was she shot!? All of my previously firm rationale was thrown straight out the window. None of that mattered anymore. I had to get there, I had to _help_ _her_. Who would’ve hurt Yerim, besides some absolute degenerate without a semblance of a soul? It must’ve been another prisoner. The voices of the girls sounded like it was coming from the side of the floor opposite me, which meant that likely, whoever had shot them was closeby. I wasn’t sure what was stopping him from opening fire on the rest of them while they were thrown off and distraught, but nothing was saying that he wasn’t planning on it. I needed to stop him before he had the chance. 

I took the rest of the steps two at a time, bursting onto the second floor and keeping myself low. It didn’t take long to spot him. He was huddling behind the railing just out of view, wielding what looked like some sort of hunting rifle, but he seemed to be unfamiliar with handling it. He struggled to load another bullet into the barrel, cursing to himself in frustration. That heartless _fuck_. He hadn’t noticed me. I had the upper hand, and I took full advantage of that. 

He was a bigger guy. Top-heavy, with spindly little legs and broad shoulders. I charged at him, not wanting to shoot again and create even more chaotic, attention-grabbing noise if I had the chance. As soon as I was in close range, I pistol-whipped him straight across the face. The metal left a significant gash on his cheek and he cried out, staggering to his feet. I tried to hit him again, but he was prepared that time and caught my wrist. He aimed his own rifle at me. I wasn’t sure if he’d managed to load it or not. Just to be safe, I awkwardly grabbed onto the barrel in our struggle and managed to dig my nails deep enough into his palm for him to lose his grip. It fell over the railing and down to the first floor. 

Furious, he grabbed at my pistol with more purpose - trying to wrench it from my hands. I struggled, knowing that if he succeeded I’d practically be done for. I pressed against him with my full weight, trying desperately to push him over this railing. It was faint, and hard to hear over the sound of my own heartbeat in my ears, but there was growling. It echoed along the walls, carrying a fair distance as a warning. Infected were coming, drawn from the shot. We didn’t have time for this. 

My grip faltered when he suddenly brought his knee forward against my hip, the contact painful and nearly making me stagger - but I forced myself to keep the pressure against him. Just as he pulled my pistol from my hands, I panicked - thrusting my hands forward and pulling its trigger. He shouted again - the bullet sinking into his thigh from the awkward position the gun had been in, and I took my chance. Using every ounce of my upper body strength, I shoved _hard_ against his shoulders, and he went tumbling over the railing. I vaguely heard a disgusting snap when he made contact with the tile of the first floor. He wasn’t getting up. 

I looked to where he would’ve been aiming, and I managed to spot silhouettes among the darkness. It was them. I ran there, holding my breath, feeling my eyes starting to burn as I nearly tripped over myself from how absolutely frantic I was--

\--but once I was close, my stomach dropped to my shoes. 

Everyone was huddling around who I recognized was Yerim. There was a growing pool of blood around her head, and her eyes had fluttered closed. Yeojin was stammering incoherently, not even putting together any real words. Haseul was trying desperately to figure out what to do, her eyes wide and her hands shaking as she tried to shake the girl scout awake with gentle pleading. She must’ve only just passed out. Haseul needed help, she was coming undone. 

Without greeting anyone, I pushed my way into the crowd and knelt at Haseul’s side. She gasped from the sudden approach, and the shock was clearly collective amongst the group, but this was no time for a reunion. I looked closer at Yerim and at what had happened - trying to consciously push aside my own debilitating worry and concern and letting my scientific assessment mindset take over. It was far more difficult than I could’ve anticipated. I mean, this was _Yerim_. This must’ve been from the gunshot, but I didn’t see any visible holes on her face - so it hadn’t gone directly into or through her head. Thank _god_. She stood a chance. I reached down, brushing some of her hair aside--

\--and I stopped still. What...? The source of the blood was... _oh_. My eyes widened, and my chest constricted so intensely I almost couldn’t breathe.

“W-Where’s her ear?!” Jiwoo blurted out the question that I’m sure we were all collectively wondering, and it made all the air get sucked straight out of the room. I... didn’t have an answer. It wasn’t there, at least not in its entirety. Most of it was gone. All that remained was barely recognizable fragments of skin, and blood was still seeping from the hole that must’ve been her ear canal. Oh boy. Admittedly, I wasn’t that good with blood. My stomach was churning. 

“H-Help her, Haseul!! _Do something!!”_ Sooyoung pleaded desperately. I glanced up at her, never having seen the stoic girl so distraught. It looked like she was about to collapse into irreparable shards. Oh. Clearly I’d missed something, but I didn’t have time to be filled in. We needed to treat this - our shock and disbelief had already wasted enough precious time. 

* * *

_**Haseul** _

“Haseul, c’mon, honey, she needs help.” Vivi spoke to me firmly, reaching forward and nudging the bag of medical supplies that I’d set down on the floor. I was _so_ overwhelmed, I’d never been so utterly consumed in my entire life. I needed to get it together, Yerim needed our _help_. I just didn’t know how to cope - especially not with everyone else watching me with bated breath. Vivi was back, where had she come from? Was she okay? How did she get here? Was Jinsol here too? Where were Jun and Hyunjin? I had so many questions, but no time to ask them - not when Yerim’s blood was still slowly seeping from her head.

I blinked hard, snapping myself hard back to reality. There was no time to waste. My natural instincts were kicking in, my maternal inclinations to help this poor girl who meant _so_ much to me now. The outer ear was in essence completely gone, and most of the blood was coming from the surrounding area - not the canal itself. That was good. It would be pointless to suture it - Yerim would still be able to hear as long as her eardrum wasn’t damaged, and stitching her ear canal shut would only do more harm than good. 

“D-Does anyone else hear that...?” Chaewon asked in her soft, small voice - standing near the front of the store but huddling behind a shelf in case anyone else decided to shoot at us. We all paused, listening for a few moments until I realized what she was referring to, and why she sounded so scared. It was growling. Infected. Drawn from the shot. Fuck. We had no time. We never had any time. 

“Step it up, Haseul!” Jungeun told me, trying to sound commanding and firm but there was a panicked edge to her voice. We were all rattled from Yerim getting so hurt, and none of us could really hide it. Not even her. I watched as she rushed toward the front of the store, readying her rifle in a blunt weapon fashion. The growls were getting louder and louder. They were closing in, fast. My skin started to crawl when I heard the sound of an unfamiliar male voice echoing from outside too. Another attacker. Maybe the one who’d shot at us. Great, we had infected _and_ more of those men coming our way. Jungeun cursed under her breath, doing her best not to falter, “ _Get it together, everyone! We’ve gotta deal with this! Anyone who has a weapon,_ _use_ _it_ _!”_

Vivi moved, snatching my crowbar from me and instead slipping her pistol onto my lap, meeting my eyes, “One bullet left, make it count.” She gently placed her hand on my cheek before rushing to help Jungeun at the front of the store.

I needed to stop the bleeding, first and foremost. With trembling hands I reached into the bag, realizing that these were the last bandages we had left. It didn’t matter, Yerim needed them. I gently wrapped them around her head, being as delicate as I could considering how hard my hands still shook. Despite all the mounting chaos around me, I made sure Yerim’s bandages were evenly layered and secure. They’d already started to soak up a fair bit of the excess blood, but her skin was clammy and slightly cold to the touch. When she’d passed out, I’d nearly shut down altogether. It was odd, I knew that I was the only real one who was even remotely equipped to handle the situation, but that only made me feel worse - knowing everyone would turn to me expectantly.

There was a sudden pounding from the back of the store - the sound of fists against what looked like some sort of alternative exit making me jump slightly where I knelt. Jungeun heard it too, and she groaned in frustration at how unlucky we were, “Fuck! Sooyoung, with me!!” The two girls sprinted toward the back - Sooyoung instantly pressing her weight against the door just as infected started to throw it open. Their hands clawed and reached through the crack, but Jungeun helped her apply pressure - nearly snapping their bones, but they were persistent. 

Hyejoo and Chaewon rushed to their aid. They were smart, they knew we couldn’t get sandwiched between infected on both sides. That was a death sentence. They struggled to push a large, heavy-looking cart in front of the door as a barricade, but it wasn’t budging. Jungeun and Sooyoung strained visibly, giving it their all to keep the infected from breaking through. 

Jiwoo, Vivi, and Yeojin were fighting at the front, but thankfully only a few infected had appeared at that point. I was lingering in the middle of the store with Yerim, wondering who I should move to help. This was all happening literally in a matter of moments, and my brain was threatening to short circuit from the absolute overflow of information it was receiving on all sides. I didn’t know what to do. I was scared to make a decision, terrified that I’d do something wrong and that it’d lead to someone getting hurt, or worse. I hadn’t been able to keep Yerim safe despite my best efforts. I felt inadequate and dumb, like it would be better if I was uninvolved altogether, but I simultaneously wanted to be everywhere and help everyone all at once. The conflict was enough to leave me rooted to the spot, stunned by my own debilitating ambivalence. 

Everything was happening so fast. Jiwoo swung her 2x4 at an infected’s knee and sent it to the ground, prompting Vivi to hit it so hard that its jaw dislocated. It didn’t seem like many infected were coming from that way, which was a welcome relief, but our human attackers had spotted us. Three were approaching from the right side of the entrance - nearer to Yeojin, who surprisingly didn’t seem scared of them. No, instead it was as if some sort of primal rage had consumed her, and she charged at the first one with her bat - ramming it with startling force straight between his legs. He collapsed outright into a fit of whimpers and girlish yelps. Vivi ran toward him and shoved the sharp end of the crowbar into his eye. So much was happening. I should help, do _something_. I lifted Vivi’s pistol into my hands. I’d never shot a gun. 

I frantically glanced at Jungeun and Sooyoung. The infected had burst through the door. There were less than I’d thought there would’ve been: four. Gashes were visible in their forearms from where they’d been squeezed between the door. They had to deal with that. I considered moving to help. There were more at the front now. Two in sight. Another of the human attackers focused on Jiwoo, while the third suddenly latched onto Yeojin from behind. Instead of hurting her, he realized the danger of the situation and he started to pull her away. She tried to stand her ground, digging her heels against the floor and struggling against him, but he restrained her by her arms - even causing her to drop her bat. Vivi tried to chase after her, to stop him, but her desperation made her distracted. A stocky infected grabbed her from behind. She squirmed, but it had a firm hold and it was about to sink its teeth into her neck. I couldn’t breathe. 

I raised the pistol with trembling hands. One bullet. 

I quickly shifted my pistol and pulled the trigger - striking the infected right in its shoulder. I was off - I’d aimed for its head. Shit. It faltered from the shot, blood spouting from its new wound, and Vivi took her chance while she had it. She got away. She was safe, at least for now. The gun was empty. Yeojin was still getting dragged away. Panicking, I ran for her, trying to reach her, to help, just to get her _away_ from that _man,_ but my path was blocked by two more infected. Shit. No no _no_ , there was no time for this. Yeojin needed me. 

I tried to push past them, to get through, but one grabbed fistfuls of my scrubs and held me to the spot. I yelped, struggling, but it was too strong. Yeojin kept squirming, even landing a firm kick against the man’s knee, but it wasn’t enough. He just seemed annoyed by it, restraining her more firmly and clasping his hand over her mouth so she’d stop spouting obscenities at him. He recoiled suddenly, shaking his hand. She’d licked his palm, but he was still dragging her off.

Vivi had dealt with the infected at her side and rushed to help me, sinking the sharp end of the crowbar straight into the head of the one that’d latched onto me. I was so distracted I hadn’t even registered the danger, or the fact that its teeth had damn near sunk right into my skin. Shit. I pulled back my focus. Jungeun and Sooyoung were struggling to deal with the infected coming from the back, and Hyejoo and Chaewon were doing their best to help. Fuck. They needed help. But we did too. 

I slammed the barrel of Vivi’s pistol against another infected’s jaw, knocking it to the side. Vivi charged forward and shoved it hard over the railing, sending it tumbling to the floor below, but she grimaced slightly from the effort. Her shoulder. She must’ve treated it slightly when she was alone, but all this activity wasn’t good for a recently received wound that serious. I needed to defend myself. I couldn’t leave it to her. 

When another one ran at her, I took initiative that time - restraining it from behind as best as I could. It was scrawny enough for me to do so, but just barely. Vivi nodded at me in slight thanks, visibly out of breath, before she brought the bloodied crowbar back and slammed it straight through its skull from beneath its chin. It went down. I spun on my heel just in time to see Jiwoo bashing another one’s head in with her 2x4. She winced after the last swing, clutching at her chest.

There weren’t any more infected toward the front. But more had come in from the back. Jungeun and Sooyoung had taken out quite a few, but that wasn’t all of them. Chaewon was fending one off with the fireplace poker from earlier, and Hyejoo had desperately lifted an awkward display rack into her grasp to try and keep one’s teeth from her. Oh no. 

Vivi was way ahead of me, already scrambling inside along with Jiwoo. We had to help. I rushed after them, my heart beating straight out of my chest and my entire body still quaking from adrenaline and overwhelming stress. Protective instinct took over. Vivi was smart - focusing on slamming the back door shut to prevent any more from getting in. Sooyoung sank her knife into an infected’s chest, and Chaewon managed to stab another one’s neck just deeply enough to sever its jugular. She recoiled from the unexpected spurts of blood staining her jacket, and barely jumped out of the way when it staggered to the ground in its dying breath. 

I rushed to Jungeun’s aid. She’d been using her rifle as a blunt weapon, but it got knocked from her hands when a particularly stocky infected ungracefully rammed into her. I was there, though, and I frantically hefted its weight into my hands. _Wow_ it was heavier than it looked, but I didn’t let that stop me - using my momentum to slam the butt of it into the back of the thing’s leg. It fell hard, and Jungeun didn’t hesitate to bring the heel of her boot slamming straight into its forehead so hard that its skull cracked.

The door was suddenly pushed against again. Vivi grunted from exertion, but managed to hold it closed. Jungeun and Sooyoung instinctively moved fast - shoving the same shelf that wouldn’t budge earlier and just managing to shift it on the floor. I helped as best as I could, and so did Jiwoo. It moved inch by inch until it finally rested in front of the door. There was no way anything was breaking through, but that didn’t prevent them from trying. 

“ _No--!_ ” Chaewon suddenly shrieked out so intensely her voice broke. I couldn’t keep up with all this. So much was happening. I looked over just in time to see her skewer another infected with her poker - the same one that’d been coming for Hyejoo. It looked like she’d lost her grip on the shelf. Wait. Oh no. 

We all rushed over. That’d been the last infected in the store. There was still growling from outside, so it was likely more were coming, but we had a second. Just a second. Sooyoung was the fastest. She got there first. Hyejoo’s hoodie was torn open on the upper arm, by what must’ve been teeth. Chaewon was panicking, about to totally fall apart, and Hyejoo wasn’t much better. It looked like she’d totally shut down. 

“No, no no no _no no_ _no_ ,” Chae started to desperately stammer, her eyes filling with tears, “Please, _please_ _\--_ ” 

Sooyoung didn’t hesitate, digging her fingers into the torn hole and ripping it further open to expose more of Hyejoo’s skin. She was shaking too, eyes wide, sweat dotting her brow. I couldn’t even react to this. It was too much. “I-I don’t see any marks--” She swallowed hard, “You’re not bit.” She stated that firmly, loud enough for us all to hear. A collective sigh of relief was breathed out by everyone, but Sooyoung suddenly surged closer and wrapped Hyejoo tightly in her arms, “You’re _not_ bit. You’re okay. You’re okay, sweetie.” Hyejoo stiffened, stunned into silence, until the traumatized girl hugged Sooyoung back - hiding her face in the older woman’s shoulder. Chaewon and Jiwoo gravitated toward the hug, joining in, the four of them holding onto each other for dear life.

More gunshots suddenly blared from somewhere else in the mall. It was loud, but quieter than the one that’d drawn the infected to us. It came from far off. We all froze, waiting in dreadful anticipation for a few moments, until the sounds of growling got distant as well. Quieter. The infected had followed the sound. Fuck. Finally. A break. But I wasn’t relieved.

Jungeun moved. She only waited a single moment before speaking up, cutting through the eerie silence that barely had a chance to spread, “I-I’ll get her.” She was talking about Yeojin. We all knew that. We’d all seen her get taken away. It’d been the only real concern on my mind this whole time.

Where had he taken her? Why had he taken her? What for? Was she okay? It was an awful thought, but why not just kill her outright? My pessimistic mind was running rampant with awful images that were making me break apart. I couldn’t cope with this, couldn’t cope with being away from her, but I hadn’t forgotten about Yerim. She was still unconscious. She needed help. I had to stay with her. And if any of us was strong and equipped enough to save Yeojin, it’d be Jungeun. I knew that. I had to be responsible. I had to keep it together. I stumbled after Jungeun, feeling so off kilter that I could hardly balance myself. 

I started to speak, not even sure what I was saying, my mind and my heart telling me to do two different things and neither of them fully overpowering the other, “Please, please, w-we don’t know what he’ll--”

Jungeun stopped for a moment to face me, “-- _I’ll get her_ , I _promise_ , I’ll get her--” She kept rushing along. Vivi audibly winced, letting herself sit down on a nearby counter and shrug her shoulder from her blouse. It was stitched up. It didn’t look that well done. Fuck. So many people needed me all at once. Jungeun snatched her rifle from my grasp, hefting it onto her back.

“Jungeun-ah--” Jiwoo spoke up suddenly, approaching the two of us. As soon as she was in reach, Jungeun wrapped her in her arms. Jiwoo tensed, like how they’d hugged when they’d reunited at the warehouse. 

“Stay here, okay? I’ll be quick--” Jungeun told her softly, so quietly I almost couldn’t ovehear. 

It took a second, but Jiwoo returned the embrace, her knuckles visibly white as she balled up fistfuls of Jungeun’s t-shirt. “--I can go with you--”

“--No, it’s too dangerous, you’re hurt.” Jungeun wasn’t wrong. I looked toward Yerim. I should inspect those bandages, now that there was less pressure, but I couldn’t stop thinking of Yeojin. It was driving me insane with worry. We weren’t out of the woods, not even a little - not while we were in this godforsaken mall. We could still hear the infected in the distance, and even another gunshot. If those bandits came over here, or if infected spotted us on their way to follow the noise, we’d be right in the thick of it again. 

Jiwoo tightened her grip, shaking her head slightly, “D-Don’t leave me again, please--”

Jungeun drew away, instead gently clasping Jiwoo by the sides of her jaw so that the two’s eyes met, “I’m coming back this time.” She didn’t let the frightened girl go until she got the faintest semblance of a nod from her. But once she got that confirmation, she gently kissed the top of her head and rushed outside - in the direction Yeojin had gotten dragged. 

_Please_ _bring her back, Jungeun_. I thought to myself, feeling almost frozen to the spot from my intense, consuming fear. I wouldn’t know what to do if she didn’t come back. I could barely cope with her not being in my sight for even this minute she’d been absent. It felt like my whole world was collapsing. 

Nothing was safe anymore. 

* * *

_**Hyunjin** _

“I feel like we should be looking for supplies, or something...” Jinsol muttered softly as we walked. I led the way by default, but honestly? I had no idea where we were going. Jun and I had sort of gotten lost during our desperate, aimless hunt for Jinsol. So yeah, I definitely didn’t know where that clothes store Jungeun and the others had been in was now, or if they’d even stayed in that spot. 

I glanced over my shoulder at her. She was clinging loosely to Jun’s arm, and oddly enough, Donghyuck was clinging to the other. Guess he still wasn’t over getting his life saved. He surprised us by speaking up, which he hadn’t really done since we’d gotten away the last time. “I-I hate to break it to you but Hansol has scavenged most of the mall. You won’t find supplies where you’d think... he’s moved them all to a bunch of different places.” 

“Who’s Hansol?” Jun asked before I could, looking down at Donghyuck, who was about a head shorter than him. 

Donghyuck looked back up at him for a second before seeming too timid to hold the eye contact, “U-U-Um, h-he’s kinda... uh, he’s in charge.” 

Great. So these fuckers had a boss. I scoffed under my breath, “Hope we run into him. I’ll break his fucking legs.” I saw the color get drained out of Donghyuck’s skin from my threat, and I wasn’t sure why. I mean, it was sort of a violent thing, sure. But whatever. I wasn’t kidding, and I didn’t plan on taking it back, “What? They shot Vivi. They hurt Jinsol. I don’t let shit like that slide.” 

Jinsol smiled broadly at my threat, “I love you, Hyunjin.” 

I wrinkled my nose up at her jokingly, but my chest lightened from the unanticipated sentiment. Instead, I tried to bring the focus back to the task at hand, “Jinsol, what’re the odds that Vivi’s actually still in the store where you left her?” 

Jinsol snapped back into serious-mode, her big goofy smile sliding from her face on a dime, “Honestly? She probably left. I had to convince her to stay put, at first. Knowing her, after it took me too long to come back to her she would’ve gone off on her own. Or at least I hope she did...” 

Jun gently patted one of her hands still hooked around his bicep, “I’m sure she did, Jindori. She has glasses, so she’s smart! She can handle herself--” 

Jun stopped his kind reassurance mid-sentence when we all heard a distant gunshot. Again, the damn echo in this mall made it hard to judge just how far it was, but the growls of approaching infected seemed like they were coming from all sides. I wasn’t sure if that was true, or if it was some weird effect because of the echo, but I wasn’t going to take any chances.

“Stay _close_.” I whispered sharply, ducking fast into the nearest store. We crouched low, but I held tightly onto my machete - tensing up as a swarm of uneven footsteps sprinted from all parts of the mall straight in the direction of the shot. Jinsol, instead of clinging to Jun, seemed to instead feel safer huddling behind me. On instinct I shifted to be more in front of her and hide her fully, watching with bated breath as these monsters rabidly rushed past and off in some other direction. 

We all stood back up once the eerie silence of the mall had settled back in. Wherever those infected went, I was just glad it was away from us. My heart sank slightly. They could’ve been going straight to Jungeun and the others, for all I knew. Ah, fuck. Should we go after them...? I didn’t want to go after them, on a sheer survival based principle alone, but... if Jungeun and the others were over there, and they needed help? I’d go. 

We were in some sort of stationary store. It wasn’t raided. Probably because like... none of these supplies were actually useful to anyone at all. An unexpected pain shot straight at my heart when I looked around at all that stuff. Heejin would’ve died to be in there. There was even a set of those fancy pens she liked to do her lineart with. Ah. Fuck. For a few long, lingering moments, I genuinely considered grabbing some for her and shoving them into my backpack. 

Jun pointed to a sign propped up on the counter, that stated in fancy letters: “Back in 5 minutes.” He chuckled, amused at himself, “Wanna time ‘em?” 

Jinsol laughed weakly at the comment too. While they were distracted by their dumbassery, I stealthily snagged one of the packs of pens and slid it into the pocket of my sweatpants. _For when you find Heejin_. My brain told itself softly. Wow, was that optimism? Unheard of. I must’ve been hanging around Yerim too much. 

Donghyuck had lingered closest to the door, finally releasing his grip on Jun, and hushed us all gently. I barely heard him, he was so timid. He was gonna have to man up a bit if we planned on getting out of this. Jun and Jinsol didn’t hear him, though - they’d started some strange sort of ritual where they kept poking each others sides and trying to jump out of one another’s reach, giggling and swearing at one another. It would’ve been the type of insufferable sweetness I’d jokingly sneer at, but I was still too deep in survival mode. 

I heard what Donghyuck had just a bit too late. A big, heavy, tall man wielding a machete of his own came into view and spotted us all. He was breathing heavily, his ridiculously broad shoulders hunched over and his eyes wild with rage. There was blood on him, a lot of it, and I couldn’t quite tell where it was coming from, if it was his, or if he was bit. He didn’t look happy to see us. 

He raised his machete, “None of you bitches move or I’ll slit your throats!!” He barked out at all of us, baring his teeth. Hell, if this guy wanted to fight, we’d fight.

“I have a knife too, fuckhead.” I told him in the most threatening voice I could manage. His glare faltered ever so slightly, definitely not having expected instant retaliation from his big macho-man act. Yeah, he was bigger than me, but he was also wearing a prison jumpsuit, which made me realize these guys were from prison. So it was likely they weren’t trained in professional fighting. I didn’t want to if I didn’t have to, but I could take him. 

Jun raised his pistol that I kept forgetting he had, aiming the sights right at the dude’s head, “I’m gonna have to ask you to stand down, sir.” Whoa, that was weird. His voice got all... cop-y. That’d never happened. 

The guy faltered only slightly again, but seemed the most affected when he properly scanned the room and his eyes fell on Donghyuck. His expression shifted for a few long seconds, before he put his angry face back on. Huh? 

“What’re you shits even doing here?! Just get the hell out!!” He shouted at us, still pissed, but that was at least a less hostile statement than before. 

“Why’d _you_ assholes open fire on random people?!” Jinsol stepped closer, acting pretty damn ballsy for someone who literally didn’t have a weapon. 

The man’s face shifted again. Almost like he was confused. But he wasn’t backing down, he didn’t even seem that fazed by Jun’s pistol aimed straight at his neck. Donghyuck was frozen - being closest to the guy. I considered stepping closer, grabbing him and pulling him to safety, but stayed put. 

“W-wait, wait guys, don’t hurt him!” The kid finally snapped himself out of whatever stupor he’d been sent into. The big guy sneered. He looked conflicted. Why? 

Jun’s uncharacteristically steely gaze shifted to the kid, “Why not?” 

“What’re you doing with these guys, Donghyuck?!” The man spoke in a tone that had a slightly softer edge but still kinda sounded like he was trying to rob a convenience store. “Get over here, c’mon! Hansol’s at the office, he--”

“--n-no, Kitae, I-I-I, they’re nice--”

“--That’s not how this works, dumbass!” He kept edging to the side, as if expecting Donghyuck to leave the store and go with him. They clearly knew each other.

“He’s not going anywhere with you!” Jinsol stepped closer again, defensive. Jun moved to stand in front of her, to be a barrier between her and this angry, machete-wielding stranger. 

Donghyuck was conflicted. Hell, I was conflicted. This guy was clearly a murderous fucker, but Donghyuck told me not to hurt him. The guy growled in frustration at the situation, before daring to demand something, “Get that fucking gun out of my face, pig!!” He practically spat out the insult. He definitely needed to reassess who had the upper hand here. He was _really_ making me want to stab him. “Donghyuck, c’mon!” He actually reached forward and grabbed Donghyuck’s arm, trying to pull him to his side.

“S-Stop! Kitae, just, c-calm down!” Donghyuck pleaded, his voice cracking slightly on the last word. He was trying to be assertive and firm. It wasn’t too convincing. Fuck. I had no idea what to do about this guy. He wasn’t leaving, and we’d need to at least scoot past him to get out of this store. He wanted to kill us, or at least hurt us. I wouldn’t let him. 

First thing was first - I didn’t want him to have that machete anymore. Not if I could help it. When I saw his quick, frantic gaze shift to Donghyuck again, I took my chance. His stance was off from the way he’d grabbed the kid. They knew each other - and I’d noticed that he hadn’t made any threats to the Donghyuck, when he could’ve easily held the knife to his throat or something to treat him like a hostage. He didn’t, so clearly, in at least some capacity, he wanted him alive. If I charged him with my own machete, he’d probably falter - wonder what I was doing, if I was gonna hurt him, if Donghyuck was in danger too. 

I was right. He was thrown off. Just enough for me to bash hard against his wrist with the hilt of my knife. He cried out, the blow blunt but brutal. It wasn’t quite enough to make him lose his grip, though. Shockingly, Donghyuck took initiative. He turned, gripping onto the guy’s forearm and managing to just barely wrench the knife out of his hand. It clattered noisily to the ground and I kicked it out of his reach. Jinsol ungracefully chased it as it slid across the floor before lifting it into her own grasp. Good.

This guy was not happy about being disarmed. Before I could respond - practically immediately after his machete fell - he swung his fist at me hard. It struck the side of my head and I faltered, my ear ringing, but I didn’t let myself stagger too much. Instead, I swung back harder. I landed a punch right against his jaw. He nearly fell backward from the force, but his stature helped him hold his ground. His grip on Donghyuck hadn’t weakened, despite some half-hearted squirming on the kid’s behalf. His fist shifted, and he was going to try and land another punch. I got ready to block it, a response I was more than accustomed to, but Jun spoke up. 

He stepped forward in a determined stride, “ _You don’t wanna do that, Kitae._ ” He used the guy’s name which I’d barely even registered, which made him stop dead in his tracks. It was hard not to flinch when a gun was being aimed so steadily straight at your head. 

Kitae stood still. Now there was seriously no question about it, this dude was outmatched. Even if he somehow managed to get me out of his face, Jun would have a bullet in his brain in a second, plus Jinsol had her own machete now, and she was actually pretty formidable with one. He didn’t want to believe it, though. You could see the denial in his eyes. God this guy was thick. 

Donghyuck swallowed hard, a sheen of sweat on his childish features, “L-Let’s just calm down, alright? C’mon, Kitae, we can--” He was trying to talk some much needed sense into the guy. In reality, if this fucker would just listen, he might be able to actually help. But my cheek still stung like a bitch, so personally? I wasn’t in much of a cooperative mood. 

Neither was he, apparently. 

With a swear mumbled under his breath, he took off. At first, he tugged Donghyuck along with him. I surged closer, instinctively snagging onto the back of his shirt without giving it much thought at all, and surprisingly, Kitae let him go as soon as he felt the slight pull of resistance. He was running, and he was fast. It looked like he knew where he was going, too. 

Donghyuck was distraught. This was all happening all at once. My brain felt like it was melting. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to feel about this. Did Donghyuck like this guy? How did they know each other? Were they friends or something? What was going on? Should I not hurt him? Should we go after him? Donghyuck followed him outside all of a sudden, and we scrambled after the kid. 

“Kitae!! Wait, just-- don’t go!” He called out, his brow crinkled up and his lip quivering. The guy kept on running. He glanced over his shoulder for a second, and it looked like he even considered stopping, but he didn’t. 

“Good riddance.” I spat out, rubbing gingerly at my sore cheek. Jinsol nudged me for the slight insensitivity but I couldn’t help it. Did she know something I didn’t? 

Donghyuck sneered slightly at me, “H-He’s my _brother_.” My face fell. Oh. Okay, that explained a lot of things. I didn’t apologize, but I made my face as sympathetic as it could get. Kitae still wasn’t far off. Donghyuck buried his hand into his hair, shaking his head back and forth, “Shit shit _shit_...” He was moving. He went to follow his brother. Fuck, what was he doing? 

* * *

_**Jinsol** _

Hyunjin lunged forward and wrapped her arms firmly around Donghyuck’s waist, but I there too. I snagged onto the back of his shirt for good measure, not wanting him to go. Jun kept his gun raised and aiming all around us, ready for any threat, but that wasn’t my concern right then. No, I was concerned about Donghyuck squirming and still seeming so incredibly upset. I couldn’t blame him. I wouldn’t know what to do if that’d been my brother. 

“Let me _go_ \--” He tried to protest, not nearly strong enough to break out of Hyunjin’s grip but still trying. 

“No! Donghyuck you don’t even know where he’s going!” I tried to be rational, to explain that it was safer with us than with Kitae, but it might not have even fazed him. 

He shook his head firmly, “I-I do, he’s going to Hansol!! I don’t want him going to Hansol, w-what if he hurts him or something, Jinsol??” His eyes finally moved to me instead of looking after his brother, whose silhouette we could still see as he ran off and away. The confliction so visibly behind Donghyuck’s eyes was almost enough to even give me pause, but I didn’t let it. We couldn’t just chase after a guy who’d just threatened our lives and might very well lead us to the most dangerous, unpredictable person I’d ever met. 

I wasn’t sure if my rationality was misplaced in this situation, but I tried my best to reassure him, “I think Hansol’s probably more concerned with killing all of us than hurting his own guys. Right?” I mean, it was far from a comforting sentiment, but at least that would mean Kitae was in the clear. 

Donghyuck sniffled, wiping at his eyes with his sleeve, “H-He’s my _brother_ , he wanted me to go _with_ him, let me _go_ \--” He squirmed again, with less effort than before, but surprisingly, Hyunjin released her grip. Now it was just me, clinging onto the fistfuls of his shirt that I still clutched. 

I didn’t want him to go. I didn’t care if my reasoning was flimsy, I didn’t want him out of my sight. He might get hurt on his own, killed. He’d saved me, and now I wanted to protect him. Kitae was too far away now regardless. He’d taken a turn and he was out of our sight. I didn’t care if Donghyuck had known where he’d gone and could follow him. I wanted him safe, and with us - people who I knew were _good_ and who cared about him instead of shady prisoners whose morals could flip on a dime. 

“Please, Donghyuck, stay with us.” I told him softly, just wanting him to listen. The shift in my tone was enough to catch him off guard, and he faltered. “You’ll be safer. Just until we find our friends and get out of here. Then you can go get your brother, okay?” 

He blinked at me, at all of us, confused by the sentiment. “I...” 

“You know your way around better than we do. You can help us, and we need help.” I reminded him of what he’d told me when he offered to lead me around. We could really still use that aid. We were lost as all hell, and even if we weren’t entirely sure where to go to find the others, it sure as shit couldn’t hurt to have a guide. 

Donghyuck sighed, almost seeming frustrated. Not at us, but more at the situation he’d been thrust into. I couldn’t even imagine how hard it was, and I was weirdly sort of proud of him for staying mature about it and not breaking down. He’d stopped trying to get away. If he’d really wanted to, he could’ve gotten out of my grip without too much effort. 

“Yeah, we could use all the help we can get, kid.” Jun told him kindly, “Sorry I almost shot your brother. I didn’t see much resemblance - guess niceness doesn’t run in the family, huh?” 

Donghyuck shook his head weakly, “Kitae can be really sweet, actually. He’s just scared of Hansol. W-We all are...” He gently moved to clasp my hands and I let him pry them away from his shirt. He wasn’t running. I could see it in his eyes that he’d made the decision to stay with us. Thank goodness. I felt better with him there. 

Hyunjin scoffed, still pretty unconvinced and unmoved by this entire display. I was unsure why she’d even grabbed onto Donghyuck like that, but I wasn’t complaining. “Scared enough that he’ll threaten every person he comes across with a machete? Cool.” 

Donghyuck looked at her indignantly, “T-That’s just what Hansol told us to do to any other survivors. We’re supposed to take their stuff a-and then bring them to him.” 

I raised an eyebrow, “Why? What does he do with them?” I realized only after the question had left me that I might not want to know the answer. 

His face fell, “Um... n-nothing good.” 

Hyunjin growled lowly in the back of her throat, “Okay, I _really_ wanna break this dude’s fucking legs. Maybe we should follow your brother.” She looked after Kitae, almost as if she was genuinely considering it. 

I clasped her arm loosely, “No, Hyunjin! First thing’s first, we find the others. They probably need our help, and we _still_ don’t know where Vivi is!” That last part was gnawing at me the most, because it was directly my fault. If I’d been faster or more careful, I probably could’ve gotten her the supplies and been by her side right then, no problem. Instead, we were off in some random corner of the mall, lost and confused. 

Hyunjin knew I was right, but that didn’t mean she was any less bloodthirsty for Hansol. Hell, I had no issue with Hyunjin breaking his legs. I’d pay to see that. But he wasn’t our priority. “Fine. Did you guys hear those shots earlier? I’m wondering if it might’ve been the others.” 

Donghyuck shrugged weakly, “I-It could’ve been the prisoners, too... we have the mall sort of under control, but we still have infected problems pretty regularly, so...” 

He was right. But honestly? We had no other leads, and I was pretty tired of wandering aimlessly. “If it was them, they need our help. You saw how many of those things were rushing over there.” My skin started to crawl at just the thought of them all being swarmed, getting overwhelmed. Fuck. 

Jun nodded, starting to walk off in the direction of the shots without question. It only took Hyunjin a second to follow him, so I guessed I was going along too. I looked over my shoulder. Donghyuck was coming. He actually moved to be more in the front, hopefully to guide us more effectively. My chest was slightly less tight. 

Jun sighed, checking the clip of his pistol, “Jung Siblings to the fuckin’ rescue, huh?” He looked down at me with another toothy grin.

Hyunjin laughed bitterly, “As if you two would get anything done without me here.” 

Okay, that was an incredibly valid point that I didn’t plan on trying to refute, but Jun gasped in exaggerated offense, “Excuse me! If you didn’t have the solid moral support and reassuring foundation of the Jung Siblings(TM), miss Hyunjin, you would’ve broken down into emotional disrepair by now.” Yes, he actually said “TM” aloud. 

Hyunjin was surprisingly unfazed by Jun’s silly banter, instead just rolling her eyes and suppressing what I hoped was a smile. “Shut up, Jesus Christ. Do me a favor and try to focus for once, okay? Save your jokes for when we’ve got Yeojin to laugh at them.” 

My heart skipped a beat at the mentioning of Yeojin’s name. Fuck, I just hoped everyone was okay.

* * *

_**Jungeun** _

My legs were aching so terribly they’d basically gone numb. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been running, or where I was even going, but it didn’t matter that I was tired. My drowsiness wasn’t important, wasn’t _nearly_ even _close_ to important, when Yeojin had gotten grabbed by one of those sick fucks and dragged off to God knows where. It hadn’t been long. Probably only a few minutes between when she got taken and when I was able to follow her, but that guy could’ve gone anywhere. I tried to think critically about it, but the more I did, the tighter my chest got. These guys were fucked up. Whatever they planned on doing to Yeojin, it wasn’t good. 

They seemed like a group. A team. I thought I saw one of them wearing what looked like a prison jumpsuit, so that meant they were probably escapees or something. They’d clearly taken this mall for themselves and would shoot any trespassers on sight, probably to take their stuff and leave them for dead, but we’d put up an unexpected fight. Good. I wanted to kill as many of them as I could. Fuckers. I’d never expected myself to feel so intensely protective over these girls who, in essence, I’d only really known for less than a week, but shit was I so enraged whenever one of them so much as winced. I wanted to keep them safe. To make sure they were alright.

I’d _promised_ Haseul that I’d keep Yeojin safe, and she’d gotten dragged away under my watch. I was supposed to be making sure things went as smoothly as possible, but shit was that getting harder and harder to do. I felt like this was all on me. Like I should’ve been more careful when we’d gotten to the mall, considered the possibility of other hostile survivors being there, made sure we all stayed tightly knit at the beginning so we wouldn’t have gotten separated from Jinsol and Vivi in the first place. 

Fuck. My chest tightened even further at the thought of Jinsol. If that dumbass got hurt, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. It went beyond that strange sense of debt I felt toward her after killing Yujin - it was deeper now. I knew her. I knew what she was like, and I liked her. She didn’t deserve any of this shit, she didn’t deserve to get hurt. The only reason she was even in this danger was because she’d had too big of a heart to leave Vivi all by herself, wounded. Jinsol was like... I dunno, like a dumb, gorgeous, gangly teddy bear of a human, and if one of those fuckers hurt her, I’d gouge his eyes out.

But Yeojin was my concern now. I tried to take my own advice: one thing at a time. 

They’d taken over the mall, but if they were even remotely competent they’d probably have a base of operations. They didn’t have nearly enough guys to actually properly control the whole place (hopefully), so they likely held up somewhere at night. Maybe that was where their leader would be, if they even had that sort of thing. The issue was, where the _fuck_ was I, and where the _fuck_ would that be? I’d been to this mall before, with Jiwoo, on our day trips to the beach sometimes, but that was years ago, and it’d been daytime. Now it was dark, abandoned, and frustratingly unfamiliar. 

The sound of a stray infected’s growls hitting my ears made me instinctively duck behind a nearby kiosk, holding my breath as its uneven footsteps rushed past. Fuck. That was the third time I’d had to do that. It was holding me up. I didn’t have time. It already felt like I’d taken way too long, and could’ve passed by a turn that the dude had taken Yeojin and only gotten even further away without meaning to. This was infuriating. 

Once the infected was out of earshot, I stood back up, giving the kiosk I’d used as cover a quick glance. My heart skipped a beat when I spotted maps of the mall lining one of its shelves. I snatched one frantically into my hands and unfolded it. Holy _shit_ this place was bigger than I’d thought. The areas were labelled. My brain went into overdrive.

There were so many stores. So many places. I did my best to put myself in the shoes of one of those assholes, but considering I personally _wasn’t_ a brainless asshole, it was kinda hard. Where would they make their base of operations? 

Security office. That made the most sense. It was in the middle of the mall, vertically and horizontally. It was a bit of a walk, but after some further examination I realized that it would’ve been vaguely in the same direction that the guy had dragged Yeojin. It might even have some sort of space to hold people, like mall delinquents or something. That was definitely my best bet. 

Already feeling like I’d wasted more than enough time, I shoved the map haphazardly into my pocket and took off running again. At least this time, I had a direction in mind. 

_Hang on Yeojin, I’m coming_. I thought to myself, muttering a silent prayer that I wasn’t too late, and that I was even going the right way in the first place. 

God, one of these days I was just gonna keel over from a fucking stress-induced heart attack. 

But I’d get Yeojin before then. I had to. 

* * *

**_Vivi_ **

Haseul couldn’t relax. Nobody was blaming her, of course not - I was pretty damn distraught too, but it wasn’t like we could do much. Jungeun had been gone for about five minutes. Chaewon hadn’t let go of Hyejoo since the bite scare, and they both seemed relatively content to just cling to each other. Jiwoo stood near the front of the store, tapping her foot, and sort of surprisingly, Sooyoung wouldn’t leave Yerim’s side. She knelt there, weakly clasping the girl’s hand but also discreetly pressing two fingers to the pulse point on her wrist, likely to monitor it. 

“I’m going.” Haseul spoke up suddenly, her abrupt voice cutting sharply through the thick silence that’d settled in. She sounded relatively firm, but the way her body visibly shook and the path of her pacing grew shorter and haphazard exhibited her panic-induced decision-making. 

I hopped off the counter I’d been sitting atop, shrugging the sleeve of my lab coat back onto my shoulder, “Going where, Haseul?” I made my voice as steady as it would let itself become. Everyone here was at varying levels of intense distress, and although I was absolutely petrified about what might happen to Yeojin, it seemed like I was the most in control of my emotions. I wasn’t the best in an authoritative position, but if it really came down to it, I’d handle it. This seemed like the time. 

Haseul sniffled, fiddling with her fingers. She only did that when she was _really_ nervous, essentially inconsolable. God, I hated seeing her so distraught, but I didn’t know what to do about it. We were all effectively neutered, here. Sure, we’d put up a fight against these assholes, and objectively won most of our encounters with them, but it still felt like we’d taken a fucking beating. All I wanted was a break. I had a creeping suspicion we weren’t going to get one anytime soon, though, and that was quite the tough pill to swallow.

“G-Going after Jungeun, o-or to find Yeojin, or Jinsol, o-or Hyunjin or Jun or just _someone_ \--” She was rambling fast. It sounded like all of her breath was getting caught in her throat. 

I stood in front of her and gently placed my hand on her cheek, “Hey, _hey_ , Haseul, let’s just calm--” 

She surprised me by harshly brushing my hand off her face, practically recoiling from the contact, “ _Don’t_ you fucking _dare_ tell me to calm down, Viv.” Whoa. I’d never heard her sound that mad before, at least not directed at me. I took a respectful step back, giving her some space, but she was too lost in her own head to even acknowledge the motion. “Jungeun’s been gone too long, she might’ve gotten i-in trouble, or something, a-and needs help. What the fuck were we thinking, letting her go off on her own?! Ridiculous, we should’ve gone with her, w-we don’t know how many of those prisoners there could be, she might get totally outnumbered! We have to help, _I-I_ have to help, I-I’m going--” She headed straight for the front exit, but I dared to clasp her forearm and hold her in place, even when she struggled against my grasp. 

“Hey, just wait a second, okay?” I told her gently. Her lips parted, but I cut her off before she could protest, “And I don’t disagree with you. We should probably go and help her, but we just need to think for a second alright? Yerim can’t walk.” I gestured to the still unconscious girl scout, whose bloody bandage starkly contrasted her normally innocent, young features. 

Sooyoung spoke up for the first time, “I’ll stay with her.” The rest of us all turned to look at her. Her grip on Yerim’s hand tightened visibly, “You guys go.” 

I raised my eyebrow, still a bit confused as to what the motivation behind this was. This simply didn’t seem like something Sooyoung would do, but perhaps I didn’t know her very well. “You’re willing to stay alone?” The safety of that was of course questionable. There were pros and cons to this situation. We’d be separated again, yes, but Yerim truly couldn’t walk, and it’d be impractical and hazardous to try to carry her. All in all it sort of boiled down to Sooyoung’s willingness to do this. It was selfless of her.

Sooyoung nodded without much hesitation at all, letting her gaze linger on Yerim’s blood splattered face, “Yeah. It’s fine.” I was relatively unconvinced, until she looked back and instantly met my eyes, providing more concrete reasoning: “You heard those shots from the other part of the mall. The infected will be drawn toward those now.” That was correct. Hell, that was the only reason we weren’t swarmed at that very moment. “If Yeojin’s with a bunch of bandits, you need as many of you as you can to help.” That was also correct. Alright. So she’d thought this through. That made me feel relatively better about the proposed situation. 

Haseul nodded frantically, eager to go, “O-Okay, so Yerim will have someone with her, b-but Jiwoo, should you stay too?” She turned to the girl in question, a slight semblance of her inner nurse surfacing even through her panic, “You’re still hurt, I--”

“--I’m okay, I-I want to get Jungeun.” I looked at her. I hadn’t been there for when Jiwoo allegedly got hurt, but I had noticed her wince a couple of times while she was fending off the infected. Regardless of whatever pain she was enduring, she didn’t falter in any way that put her in more danger, so theoretically she could fight if it came down to it. Plus, the determination behind her eyes and the way that she subtly shook was evidence enough that she also wasn’t going to take no for an answer. It wasn’t our place to tell her no. Those two’s history was so palpable and intricate I didn’t even want to begin to get involved with it. 

I nodded at her in confirmation, and she hefted her bloodied 2x4 piece of wood into her small hands. Her determination didn’t quite match her small stature, or the fear so visibly behind her eyes, but I couldn’t blame her for being scared. We were all scared. Without another exchanged word, Haseul and I headed to the entrance. Hyejoo and Chaewon had been quiet this entire time, but got to their feet and slowly joined us - still clinging to one another. 

Chaewon made sure to gently squeeze Haseul’s hand once she was close enough, “We’ll get to Yeojin. I’m sure.” The reassurance was spoken very softly, in Chaewon’s usual airy voice. Haseul sniffled again, her eyes having had a slight gloss to them ever since Yeojin was dragged from the store, but nodded at the tiny girl regardless. 

Just as I took my first step outside, Jiwoo muttered a soft, “W-Wait,” to the rest of us. We all did, pausing respectfully. Jiwoo rushed back toward Sooyoung, clasped her by the sides of her jaw and kissed her firmly. Oh. Right. I forgot about that. Sooyoung was unsurprised by the contact, but her face reddened intensely.

Sooyoung was the first to draw away, and she made sure to tell Jiwoo in a steady voice, “I’ll be fine. Go get Jungeun, okay? Bring her back.” She added on that last sentiment with a warm, genuine smile. Jiwoo just nodded, making sure to kiss Sooyoung’s hand for good measure before walking back toward the rest of us. 

Once we’d all convened again, we left the store - being led by Haseul who walked in the direction Yeojin had been dragged. I made sure to reach down and heft Yeojin’s unintentionally discarded bat into my hands, returning Haseul’s crowbar to her so that we were all armed with a blunt weapon. Guns weren’t an option anymore. They were essentially a signal flare to all the infected in the mall, and thus a damn near death sentence. 

“Vivi, did you see where he could’ve gone...?” Haseul dared to ask, looking at me expectantly. 

I didn’t want to dash her hopes, but it’d been far too chaotic for me to keep my eye on Yejoin, despite how badly I’d wanted to. “No. I just saw him drag her in this general direction. I’m sorry.” She did her best to not let that affect her, but it was hard not to let it show. 

We didn’t utter a single other word. We were all rightfully afraid to make much noise and potentially draw infected or even more prisoners to our location. I was proud of Hyejoo for coming. After the near-death experience she had, she seemed intensely rattled, but still held tightly onto her fireplace poker and kept pace with the rest of us. Jiwoo’s determination was showing through more and more as time passed and we gained more ground. She moved quicker, with more purpose, her breaths growing audible as our walk morphed into a slow jog. Picking up the pace wasn’t inherently a bad idea, but our lack of examination of our surroundings was a potential hazard. I did my best to pay attention, truly I did, but the combined sound of all of our footsteps against linoleum echoing off the cavernous walls made it difficult to differentiate from another group’s footsteps. 

Which was why when we rounded a corner, we literally collided with another crowd in the darkness. 

Neither party had anticipated the collision. Some of us staggered, one boy who’d been at the front of the group literally sprawled and fell to the floor. I readied my bat, prepared to swing it, but froze solid at the sound of a gun cocking. Fuck. I blinked, trying to figure out in this intense darkness where the gun was and who was raising it.

“D-Don’t shoot--!” Chaewon pleaded in her soft, incredibly unintimidating voice. 

“Chae?” A familiar voice sucked out the rigid survival posture that’d consumed my body. That was Hyunjin. I blinked, squinting through the shadows, and spotted a flash of blonde over her shoulder. Jinsol. Fuck. Thank _Christ_. 

Before I even had the chance, the dumb blonde rushed forward and wrapped me in her arms. Without thinking, I returned the embrace, not having anticipated just how relieved I would be to see her alive and well. She shook violently, balling up fistsfuls of my coat, her breathing audibly uneven. “Oh my god, Vivi, thank _god_ , are you okay? _Please_ tell me you’re okay, I-I tried to find you, I-I did, I-I-I went back to the store, I-I wanted to get you the meds, I tried, I--”

“--Hey, I’m _here_. I’m _fine_.” I drew back, barely managing to pry myself from her grip just so I could meet her eyes, “It’s alright. I figured it out. Are _you_ okay?” 

Jinsol sniffled, her lips parting as if to respond, but she didn’t get the chance. Instead, Haseul had rushed forward and practically tackled Jinsol in what looked like a death grip, burrowing her nose into her blond hair. Jinsol was instantly pulled from our conversation, as if it hadn’t even happened in the first place, her entire focus now on the trembling nurse in her arms. She gently stroked Haseul’s hair, shutting her eyes tightly for a few moments. I think we were all experiencing a bit of denial here.

“Oh my god, you’re okay.” My chest lightened at the sight of a big, dopey grin spreading across Jinsol’s face, “ _Fuck_ , I was worried _sick_ about you guys...” Her gaze shifted, checking to see who else was with us. I did the same, for some reason, finding myself smiling slightly when I saw Hyunjin surprisingly hugging Jiwoo. “Where’s Jungeun?” Jinsol asked, her brow furrowing, “And Sooyoung? A-And Yerim? Yeojin??” The more names she listed that were absent from the headcount, the more distressed she became. I couldn’t fault her for that.

Haseul reluctantly let Jinsol go, the glossiness to her eyes only having intensified from this unanticipated reunion. Despite having pulled away from the hug, she seemed insistent on clinging hard to both of Jinsol’s hands. “Yerim got... hurt, a-and Sooyoung’s staying with her because she can’t walk.” Jinsol’s face fell even further. She looked devastated. An appropriate response. “One of the prisoners grabbed Yeojin, a-a-and dragged her off somewhere, and Jungeun went to go get her--” As Haseul was actually explaining the chain of events, her composure thinned more and more, to the point that her voice broke and a tear rolled down her cheek. I moved closer to comfort her, but Jinsol beat me to it, wiping the tear away with her thumb and hugging her tightly again. 

“I-If she got taken, s-she’ll be at the security office.” The boy who’d fallen to the floor spoke up. Jun had helped him back to his feet. I didn’t know who he was, but based off sheerly the fact that he was a stranger, that he’d presumably met the others in the mall, and knew the information he’d just shared, he must’ve been with the prisoners in some capacity. Hmm. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. “I-It’s kinda far away.” He added that crucial bit on at the end. Great. Just our luck.

This was no time for introductions. We needed to go. It’d already been too long. Haseul pulled out of Jinsol’s embrace and stepped right up to the kid, “Take us there. _Now_.” 

* * *

  
  


_**Jungeun** _

It took longer than I would’ve wanted to reach that damned security office, but I made it. Second floor, middle of the mall, and a hell of a walk. I tried to picture that prisoner actually hauling Yeojin all of this way, and I didn’t envy him. I also wanted to kill him, and planned to, but once the office was in sight, I laid low. My rifle had no ammo, and I needed to remember that. It was my only real weapon. It still packed a hell of a punch if it hit you across the face, though. I crouched behind a nearby potted fern, listening closely, as I started to hear voices when I got in earshot. I tried to piece together what I could, but I’d only started to eavesdrop mid-conversation.

“--only one of them had a gun--” One voice spoke first, a deep, solid one, but the speaker sounded uncertain and worried. 

“--so why didn’t you take them? It was two against one guy with a gun, and some weakling girls, correct? I don’t understand why this group of women is giving you so much trouble. I expected more of you.” Another voice spoke. It was raspier and almost... I dunno, scarier? That might sound like a weird way to word it, but hell, he sounded like what my head would conjure up as a stereotypical serial killer’s voice. It made my blood run cold, made me want to just run away on sheer instinct alone, but that wasn’t an option. Yeojin needed my help, assuming she was even in there. 

Taking a deep breath and holding it in, I dared to edge closer to the office. I sidled along the wall, nearer to the door. I’d never been the stealthiest person, but Yeojin’s life was potentially riding on this. Right now, at least subconsciously, her life meant more than my own to me. 

“Well... see, it wasn’t two against one.” The first voice explained sheepishly. 

There was a pause thick with palpable tension. Finally, the second, eerie voice spoke, sending chills up my spine. “And why is that? Wasn’t your brother there?” 

“I... yeah, but it seemed like he was with the others.” The voice quickly corrected itself, “I-I mean, not _with_ , but-- uh-- he just said not to fight them. That’s all. You know Donghyuck, he’s always been a dolt. I tried to drag him with me but uh, the, the guy with the gun held him back.” 

The cogs in my mind started turning. A guy with a gun, who was fighting _against_ the prisoners? The only dude in our whole group was Jun, and he had a gun. Had this guy gotten into some sort of altercation with him? That was mildly reassuring, cuz it sounded like he lost, which meant Jun was okay. Which probably meant Hyunjin was too. Thank fuck. That was a piece of good news I desperately needed in all this absolute hell. 

I heard a series of quick, precise footsteps followed by what sounded like a weak gag, and the second, creepier voice spoke in a low, foreboding tone, “I think you’re lying to me, Mister Lee.” It was true. That last thing the first voice had said definitely sounded like he was bullshitting to save his own ass, and apparently it hadn’t been a decent enough cover, cuz this other guy saw right through it. “I don’t much care for liars, or disloyal brothers.” 

There was what sounded like a strangled gasp, as well as what might’ve been something falling over. I dared to poke my head to the side, wanting to see what was going on and if I should intervene - only daring to peek for a single moment. What I saw was a tall, gangly man in a dark jacket wrapping his long, crypt-keeper fingers around another guy’s neck. I also caught a glimpse of a tied up Yeojin, whose hands were behind her back as she laid sideways on the floor. If I could describe her expression as anything, I’d say disinterested. She was honestly an enigma to me, but all I cared about was that she was safe. 

“N-No, h-he’s loyal!” The guy getting choked out tried to insist.

“Then why is he colluding with these invasive strangers, hmm? Care to tell me that?” The creep questioned further. There were no more words spoken by the other guy, and I couldn’t quite tell if it was because he didn’t have an answer or because he literally couldn’t talk. I listened closer, held in suspense, until finally there was the sound of a deep, gasping breath being taken and footstep again. “Find him. Bring him to me yourself. I’d like to have a few words.” 

The other guy needed to take a few long moments to breathe before he could manage out any words, “I-I will, but Hansol, I-I swear, Donghyuck’s loyal. He’s good. I promise, I--” 

“-- _Then he can tell me himself_.” The creepy voice spoke louder and more firmly. It made me want to shrink down into nothing - _me_. Fuck. This guy really had impact. He was definitely the leader, no doubt about it anymore. If I was one of these weak, dumb prisoners, I would’ve done anything that fucker said. “Go. Get. Him. _Now_. And if you see any more of these damned trespassers, just kill them. I’m done playing games. Besides, I’ve already got one for safekeeping.” He added on that last part with an almost amused tone. Shit. I needed to help Yeojin. I’d known she was probably in some trouble, but I had no idea she was gonna be left with this fucking psychopath. 

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I dumbly didn’t move back into a hiding spot. The guy who’d been getting choked out listened to his boss and headed straight out the door, and almost straight into me. We both froze. He held a pipe in his hands, and my gaze flitted between his eyes and the weapon. His face was still red from his recent strangulation. I was more than ready to fight him, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to. It’d draw attention from that asshole inside, and then it’d be two against one, with Yeojin’s life on the line. That was a risk I wasn’t willing to take. He stared at my rifle, his lips parted as if considering whether or not he should shout to Hansol. Taking quite the big risk, I lowered my gun, even releasing my grip on it so it hung loosely around my chest instead of being held firm - showing him I wouldn’t use it. He pursed his lips and gave me a slow, deliberate nod. It was wordless, but it was an unspoken, mutual agreement that I was gonna try to kill this dude’s boss. He didn’t seem too broken up about that, because after another second of silence, he took off running. I let out a long breath, not having realized that my whole body was shaking. That was close. I blinked myself back to awareness. I needed to help Yeojin. 

Hansol laughed weakly, “Can’t find good help these days... now what can I do with you?” Shit. His attention was focused fully on Yeojin now that that guy was gone. I needed to get inside, but I didn’t want to blow my cover if I didn’t have to. Shit. 

I heard Yeojin hum curiously, and my whole body froze. Oh no. Was she going to talk? _Please don’t talk, Yeojin._ I silently prayed, clenching my fists tightly around my rifle and shutting my eyes. Nothing heard my prayers. 

“Uhhhhh, you could let me go? That’s an idea. I think it’s a good idea, I vote for that idea.” Yeojin rambled on. She sounded oddly composed, like this whole thing wasn’t even scaring her, but that couldn’t be true. Not when I was so terrified I was about to shit my pants.

There was a pause. I don’t think Hansol expected that response to his question. He made sure to say something extra ominous to probably scare her, “Hmm. I vote we toss you over the railing and see if you bounce.” 

Another chill shot up my spine. Fuck. We were on the second floor. If he did that, I’d rip his fucking jaw off and shove it down his throat hole. Yeojin made a _tsk_ ing sound, “Well now our votes are tied. Seems like we’re kinda at a standstill here. That’s awkward.” I seriously couldn’t believe her. I was literally stunned. Another silence spread, broken only by the sound of what I eventually realized was a knife sharpening. Fuck. No. Alright, I needed to fight this asshole. Or something. I wasn’t sure what. I was so fucking terrified for Yeojin that my normal strategization-brain just wasn’t working anymore. “Hey, uhhh... why do you keep killing people? Like what’re you doing?” 

I was surprised when Hansol actually humored her with an answer, “I was in jail for a decade. Just making up for lost time.” 

Yeojin scoffed subtly, “That’s a stupid reason.” 

“God, do you ever shut up?” Anger tinged his tone again. Oh no. I didn't want him to get angry, he had a knife. Not good. 

“Historically no, I haven’t.” I poked my head around the corner again despite the danger, trying to catch Yeojin’s eye, but she wasn’t looking. Shit. “When’re you gonna give me your villain monologue?”

“What?” Hansol barked out, seeming more and more angry with every stupid comment Yeojin made. Fuck. I was running out of time to do something. His temper was running thin. 

“Yaknow, like Thanos.” Yeojin added on. My jaw dropped. I was starting to genuinely question whether or not this was real. Hansol seemed to be experiencing similar denial, because he didn’t say a word in response to that. Yeojin for some reason took it as him still being confused about the very simple concept. “Like, your backstory that makes you sympathetic. I don’t think it’ll work on me, all things considered, but I wouldn’t mind the character developm--”

“--If you don’t shut the fuck up, I’ll cut your tongue out.” The knife sharpening sound stopped, and I had a feeling that he was pointing it dead at her. Shit. Shit shit _shit_. 

“Now, question: does that really work? Cuz I feel like since I still have vocal cords I’d still sort of be able to talk without a tongue, and--” Yeojin’s persistent commentary was cut off all of a sudden, and I dared to peek around the corner again. Hansol had slapped a piece of duct tape across her mouth, and for the first time I actually saw the knife he’d been sharpening. Fuck. That _was_ sharp, not to mention serrated and what looked like military grade. He walked back to the other side of the room, and damn near spotted me. I ducked back, my heart beating out of my chest. 

I needed to do something. 

I didn’t feel confident enough to properly sneak up on him, so the only thing I could think of was to draw him out of the office - to a more open area where I might be able to handle him better. My mind was absolutely racing but couldn’t even hope to match the pace of my heartbeat. Maybe I could throw something. It led infected away, so why wouldn’t it work on a person? At least that’s what my panic-addled brain told itself. In hindsight, I would’ve done something different. 

Carefully, I crouched back over to the potted fern and hefted a decorative rock into my hand. It had enough weight for it to make enough noise. Taking a deep breath, I hurled it inside the office. It clattered loudly against the back wall, striking a metal sign and sending a resonating noise throughout the small space. It’d be impossible not to notice. Yeojin looked toward it, and I dared to edge closer again - poking my head around the corner to monitor Hansol--

\--only for him to literally step into my line of sight, inches from me. Fuck. 

I was too stunned to react straight away, and he immediately grabbed onto my rifle, trying to tug it from my grasp. Shit shit _shit_. I pulled back, and in normal circumstances I probably would’ve been stronger than him, but this entire ordeal had drained me. He yanked it roughly, the strap of it digging against the back of my neck. Yeojin was calling something out to me - trying to speak, but it was all muffled by the duct tape. I tuned it out. 

Desperate, I decided to startle him by ducking out of my rifle’s strap altogether - releasing my grip on it unexpectedly. He staggered backward from the sudden movement and I took my chance when he was thrown off, punching him as hard as I could across the face. It was a _damn_ hard punch. He sputtered, his gangly frame just unsteady enough to nearly throw him entirely off balance, but he stayed standing. I grabbed onto my rifle again, trying to take it back. His grip was firm. I used it to my advantage, maneuvering the rifle so the butt of it was against his stomach and then ramming my full weight against the barrel. The back end of it slammed hard against his gut and he gagged, the wind knocked out of him. I tried to grab the gun again, but the fucker was determined. And pissed off. 

Hansol took his turn to swing. I was so focused on re-arming myself that I didn’t notice the motion until it was too late. His fist caught the side of my head in such a way that it made my ear ring, and it may’ve even bled. I careened sideways but wouldn’t let myself lose my footing, instead clamoring ungracefully into the confines of the tight office. Not an ideal space for combat, but I didn’t have much choice. 

Hansol chuckled ominously, “Oooh, how charming. Would you look at this, you’ve got a savior!” He nudged Yeojin’s head with his boot. She mumbled something unintelligible. If he put his boot on her again I was gonna rip his dick off and shove it down his throat. He raised my rifle - _my_ rifle - at _me_ , staring down the sights with an unfamiliarity I normally would’ve found humorous, but now wasn’t the time. Rifles were hard to handle expertly, sure, but pulling a trigger wasn’t rocket science. Thankfully, it was empty. He didn’t know that though. “What, you really thought throwing a little rock into the room would draw my attention? This isn’t some video game.” 

I ignored his power-fantasy banter, instead looking around the room desperately for something I could use. The intimidating knife he’d been sharpening earlier was nowhere in sight, which meant it must’ve been on him somewhere. Great. There were a few other scattered blades on a nearby table, nowhere near the caliber of his, but still sharp. The one closest to me was a box cutter. Not much. It’d have to do. 

I lunged for it, scooping it into my hands and still flinching when I heard him pull the trigger. Obviously, there were no bullets, which only seemed to make him even more frustrated. He tossed my rifle to the floor like it was nothing, rushing at me as he pulled his knife from a sheath I hadn’t noticed on his waist. Fuck. 

I just barely ducked out of the knife’s first sweeping motion, and frantically jabbed at Hansol’s stomach with the boxcutter. I was quick enough for him not to expect it. I don’t think he assumed I’d had literal combat training, and he hadn’t at all been prepared for my quick reaction. The blade sank deep right beneath his ribs, actually snapping off from how flimsy it was. Regardless, Hansol cried out - bringing his knee up _hard_ against my face. I recoiled, my vision patchy, but frantic to not let him get the upperhand. Barely able to see, I felt around aimlessly for another knife and just managed to lift one into my hand. 

He spotted the motion and sliced at me a second time. I was still too disoriented from the earlier blow to effectively dodge the attack, but I jumped back slightly, making the gash much more shallow than the one that may’ve severed my hand. A fresh cut on the heel of my hand made my grip falter, and my knife clattered to the floor. Hansol was still coming - charging toward me - wanting to close the space and get a good stab in, but I wouldn’t let him. 

Grunting from the exertion and the stinging in my palm when I clenched my fist, I punched him as hard as I could straight in the throat. He gagged violently, staggering back again and clutching desperately at his windpipe. I took my chance, quickly picking my knife back up from the floor, but the fucker was still kicking. Literally. He brought his leg back and slammed it hard right against the top of my chest as soon as I bent over. I fell hard against the wall, coughing, my breath gone now too as I gasped for air. The two of us sputtered and struggled to breathe. Now it was just a matter of who got it together first. 

Unfortunately, it was him. In a few moments, he was up against me, a terrifying, primal rage in his eyes that I’d never seen on anyone’s face before. At least not a human. I tried to swing my blade, but the angle was off. He still had the advantage, and he dug his fingernail into the fresh wound on my hand. I yelped, gritting through the agony, but it was too much. My knife fell again. 

I wouldn’t let him get the upperhand. I just wouldn’t. Bracing myself for the impact, I thrust my head forward - slamming it against his in a rough headbutt. He grimaced, and a small space was created between us. In one swift, desperate motion, I punched him hard across the face yet again - an unsettling cracking audible when my knuckles made contact with his nose. I didn’t give him any time to recover, punching him in the gut and then the head, the chest, anything my fist could reach--

\--until he surged forward, and I felt a serrated blade sink deep into my side. 

I cried out, but stayed perfectly still. The pain was intense, sharp, _burning_. Probably the worst pain I’d ever felt in my entire life. Tears stung my eyes. I tried to bear it, to cope, to react and hit him or _something_ , but then he wrenched the blade hard - dragging it up by excruciating intervals. I couldn’t help the weak whimper that left me. It was all too much. 

“You _bitch_.” Hansol spoke through gritted teeth, his nose bloodied and his eyes still wild. I tried to break free, but he reached up - wrapping his long fingers around my neck. My eyes widened when his grip tightened, what little air I’d managed to get in my lungs leaving me in an instant, “Think you’re real tough, don’t you?” I squirmed, kicked, anything, but the pain in my side was so intense that any movement felt like hell. “Not so tough anymore, huh? Poor thing.“ He squeezed even harder.

I couldn’t breathe. I could barely move. My vision was already getting spotty, and my head was light. I glanced at Yeojin. She was on the floor, but she’d managed to sit more upright, squirming and trying desperately to break free from her bonds. It was just duct tape. She could cut that. The knife. It was my last chance. Ignoring the searing, _agonizing_ pain from doing so, I mustered all of my remaining strength and coordination to kick my fallen knife toward her. Hansol didn’t notice. My vision was going black. Hansol wrenched his grip again, a faint, maniacal chuckle echoing through my head--

\--until suddenly, a spurt of wetness splashed against my face, and Hansol let me go. 

I could breathe again. Thank god, I could breathe. I gasped, taking in rasping gulps of air as I blinked myself back to awareness, only to flinch backward. Hansol’s throat had been slit - his blood splattering out and all over me. I shoved him away as hard as I could. He sprawled down to the floor, clutching at his neck as his last seconds of life faded away. And I stomped on his face as hard as I could, until you couldn’t even tell it was a face anymore.

Yeojin ripped her duct tape from her mouth, only to suddenly vomit all over the floor, “Holy _shit_ that’s _way_ more blood than I thought there’d be--” Her words were cut off by her retching again, “ _Fuck_ , I-I though movies always exaggerated it but _Jesus_ \--” She vomited yet again, shielding her eyes and clutching at her gut. 

I clutched desperately at my side, still experiencing absolute unbearable pain as well as a lightheadedness from nearly being strangled, “Stop puking. We have t-to go.” 

Yeojin scoffed under her breath, “Ohhh, yeah, lemme just ‘stop puking’ real quick--” She coughed up a bit more bile, wiping at her mouth with her sleeve. 

“ _Yeojin_.” I spoke her name firmly through my clenched teeth, barely able to walk as my own blood seeped through my fingers. 

Her eyes moved back to me and my wounds, realizing slowly that I needed help. Took her long enough, but surprisingly, her face actually grew more serious. Her only response was a nod, as she moved to support my side - hobbling with me out of that damned office. 

_Fuck_ my side _hurt_. My neck ached, too. It’d probably bruise. Despite having stomped Hansol’s face into nothing, I still felt like that was too nice of a fate for him somehow. Yeojin was doing her best to support me as I walked, but it was no real use - she was so weak and short. I appreciated the effort. It was only starting to sink in as we hobbled along, but she’d saved my life. Yeojin, of all people, had saved my life. 

“Jungeun, you’re like... bleeding.” Yeojin felt the need to inform me as we walked. 

I grimaced, “Oh? I didn’t notice.” I snarkily retorted, finding it a strange method of coping to dismiss just how serious this was. I knew I was bleeding, obviously. I could feel my own blood dripping from the small gash on my side, trailing down my hip by that point and still seeping through my fingers. “We need to cover this. Stop-- _fuck_ \--” I winced again, a sharp sting of pain shooting through my abdomen. Instinctively I clutched at the wound, which only hurt even more, so I recoiled. But I needed to apply pressure for the bleeding. Jesus, I couldn’t win. “--the bleeding. Stop the bleeding.” I looked at Yeojin, making sure that she nodded in understanding. I was never sure what to expect with her. 

“Right, no shit, uh... where would we find medical stuff?” Yeojin asked as she stopped supporting me. She seemed to realize that it wasn’t much help, and she instead jogged to be slightly ahead - looking around. 

“S-Stay _close_.” I whispered at her harshly, not wanting her to even be out of arm's’ reach. Not after all the shit I went through to get her. She sighed in exasperation, but slowed her pace to match mine. 

“But you’re slowww.” She whined out. It was hard to tell if that was a joke or not, but regardless it made me want to kick her ass. 

I sneered at her, “Bitch, for real? I’m ‘slow’ cuz I got stabbed trying to save your ass!” I felt myself unexpectedly getting pissed off. I don’t think it was really directed at Yeojin, just at the fact that I was really, seriously injured and wouldn’t be nearly as equipped to help the girls who really needed me. “And another thing, why the fuck were you even yammering on to that asshole? Did you _want_ to get stabbed? Was that your goal? To get stabbed? Cuz you damn near almost succeeded.” 

Yeojin rolled her eyes at me, like she was getting some scolding from her mom, when in reality I was just trying to keep her ass alive, “I was _stalling_. Duh. Jesus, you really think I’m that stupid? Kinda offended not gonna lie.” Her tone was genuine, but damn was it hard to take her seriously most of the time. 

I raised an eyebrow, gritting my teeth as I applied more pressure to my wound. “Whatever...” We’d only gotten a store or so away from the security office by that point, but I stopped still when I spotted what looked like some sort of maintenance closet. There was a big ass padlock on it. Oh. Yeojin still wielded her knife that she’d killed Hansol with. “Get that lock open.” I grumbled out to her, moving to lean against a nearby wall. 

She glanced at where I’d pointed, “How?” 

I sighed in mounting frustration fueled by my inability to properly cope with this pain, “Just... hit it. Fuck around with the knife, or something. I dunno. There’s probably supplies in there.” 

Yeojin slowly narrowed her eyes at me, “Ooooor - another idea - I could go loot Hansol’s corpse cuz he probably has a key.” That was frustratingly clever. Refusing to give her the props she so visibly craved, I just nodded at the proposition. “Back in a jiffy.” She jogged off and away, and although I tried to clasp her shirt as she went - not wanting her to get far - she was too fast and got out of my reach. Great. 

“Careful!!” I shouted after her, grimacing again. 

“Yeah, yeah...” I vaguely heard called back to me. The small girl held me in suspense for a few, dreadful moments, before she comically popped back out from the security office and into my view, bearing a small key, Hansol’s knife, and my rifle slung across her back. She started yammering on as she approached me, “Hey, is it in poor taste to use the knife that you got stabbed with? Cuz I mean, objectively it’s way cooler and stabbier than the other knife. So, like, from a survival perspective I just think it’s--”

“-- _Yeojin_. Open the _fucking_ door.” I spoke through clenched teeth, taking the liberty of taking Hansol’s knife into my own hands. She pouted at its removal but surprisingly knew better than to protest, instead pulling her old knife out from her pocket. I also made sure to pull my rifle off her, despite my abdomen screaming in pain from the motion of sliding it back over my head.

The key thankfully slid right into the lock. Thank Christ. Yeojin removed the entire thing, holding it in her palm before tossing it over her shoulder with a “whoops,” and holding the door open for me. Oddly chivalrous, but I wasn’t complaining. Instead I quickly headed inside the room. It was more spacious than I’d expected. A wave of pain hit me and I realized I couldn’t stand - instead depositing myself onto a nearby box, struggling to catch my breath even still. 

This did look to be some sort of supply room, I’d been right to assume that. It just made sense, since it was so close to what they’d presumably been using as a home base. There were a few weapons in here, as well as canned goods, but a surprising lack of medical supplies. Whatever had been in here looked as if it’d either been moved or used up fairly recently. Just our fucking luck. 

Yeojin, being the more mobile of us, rushed forward and conducted a search. “Want an Aspirin?” She genuinely asked, looking over at me as she clutched the bottle in her small hand. 

I raised an eyebrow at her, giving her a chance to retract the joke. Then I realized it wasn’t a joke. Literally unbelievable. “I was just stabbed, Yeojin.” I told her in the most deadpan voice I could manage. 

She nodded solemnly, setting the bottle down and looking more thoroughly, “...there’s some Tylenol...” Okay, she wasn’t doing this to be funny - she just didn’t want to tell me point-blank that there wasn’t anything I could use here. That was almost sweet.

  
I sighed deeply, running my palm down my face. My skin was clammier than I would’ve liked. “The fuckers must’ve taken all the good stuff... c’mere.” I gestured vaguely at her, my head throbbing as if someone was pounding the inside of it with a hammer.

She listened, shockingly enough. Once she was close, I took the liberty of reaching to her clean sleeve and cutting off a fair bit with Hansol’s knife. She gasped, “Okay, go ahead and slice up my clothes, no need to ask for consent.” 

I shut my eyes, another more intense throb of pain shooting through my head, “Please stop for like, _two_ seconds.” I whispered gently. That plea came from somewhere deep. 

  
She could tell, and for perhaps the first time since I’d rescued her, she said something undeniably genuine. “Sorry.” 

I tied the shred of Yeojin’s sleeve slowly around my abdomen, grimacing the whole way through. Yeojin edged closer, watching as I tightened the knot on the makeshift bandage. Another trail of blood streamed down my side, and I hissed through my teeth from the added pressure, but I knew it was for the best. “At least it’s something. It’ll have to do.” I staggered back to my feet, cursing perhaps a bit excessively, but Yeojin was utterly unfazed. 

Instead, she simply clasped both of her hands in front of her and gave me a vague bow, “Jungeun, I would just like you to know that you’re a badass.” 

  
I chuckled bitterly, “I’m not feeling too badass right now.” I staggered over toward the aforementioned Tylenol and proceeded to down what must’ve been four or five pills in one desperate gulp.

Yeojin just stared at me in awe, not at all backing down from her stance on this. “Well, you are.”

I sighed, bracing myself against the metal table where these supplies were. I gestured toward them weakly, Yeojin surprisingly being smart enough to understand what I meant from the vague instruction. She started to scoop the canned goods into a stray backpack, slipping it onto her shoulders. I did my best not to let my lightheadedness get the best of me, focusing on staying awake and coping with this pain. 

“Let’s get you back to your sister, okay...?” I asked Yeojin in the gentlest tone I could manage, straightening my posture and doing my best to walk. The bandage helped stabilize me ever so slightly, adding pressure so I wouldn’t have to. But _fuck_ did it still sting. 

Yeojin nodded readily at the suggestion, “Sounds good. Never thought I’d want to see Haseul this bad...” She muttered that last part beneath her breath, but I caught it. 

Hell, I felt the same way. More than anything, I just wanted to get the group back together. To keep them safe. But Yeojin was my priority right then - it didn’t matter how hurt I was. 

One thing at a time.

* * *

_**Hyejoo** _

I just wanted to get _out_ of here. I wanted to run away, to be outside again, to be _anywhere_ except this goddamned _mall_. The hole in my sweatshirt that an infected had ripped open with its teeth exposed my bare skin beneath it, and every time I felt a breeze against it, a chill went up my spine. If it’d gotten even slightly closer, if it’d bit harder through the fabric, if I hadn’t flinched to get away from it, it would’ve got me. I would’ve been gone. I couldn’t shake it. The thought of that stayed right at the front of my brain, reminding me every other second how close it’d come. The only way I could cope was by clinging to Chae’s hand as tightly as I could. I thought it’d bother her - that I was being annoying or dramatic - but she held onto me just as tight. 

I felt so separated from everyone I cared about. Yerim, Sooyoung, Yeojin - they all weren’t here. In this world now, I felt like if you couldn’t see someone right in front of you, they were as good as gone. Jiwoo was still with us, and I loved her, so that made me feel a bit better. Sooyoung would keep Yerim safe no matter what, so I did my best not to get too panicked about the two of them, but Yeojin? I had no idea. And that was _so_ _scary_. 

“How close are we?” Haseul asked the unnamed boy leading the way for probably the hundredth time. She made sure to stick close behind him. Jinsol didn’t stray far from her either, actually loosely clutching the back of Haseul’s scrubs. We subconsciously stuck together very close, not wanting to be separated again after we only just reunited. 

“N-Not too close, I’m sorry. It’s far away...” He sounded genuinely apologetic, but it wasn’t his fault. 

Haseul was way too panicked to acknowledge that, though, “ _We need to go faster, then._ ” Haseul spoke adamantly, picking up her pace and brushing roughly past him. 

Jinsol tugged weakly on her scrubs, trying to hold her in place, “Wait, Haseul we have to be--”

“--will everyone _stop_ telling me to be _‘careful?’”_ She snapped harshly at Jinsol, turning around to stare right at her. She took a deep, raspy breath. It sounded like she needed it, and it helped her intense glare fade away ever so slightly. “My _sister_ is with a bunch of fucking _criminals_ and she needs _help_ , not to even _mention_ that Jungeun just charged in by _herself!!_ ” She was coming apart at the seams, her whole body trembling violently. I didn’t blame her, not at all. I related more than she probably knew.

Vivi stepped slowly closer, “We know, honey. We’re trying. Okay? Just...” She sighed in frustration, rubbing at one of her temples. She looked exhausted. Maybe like she had a headache or something. I think we all felt that way, but it was clearly getting to her. 

Jinsol stepped closer, gently shifting her grip to instead rest on Haseul’s forearm. Her voice was slow, steady, and clear - wanting to make sure that Haseul caught every word. “We’ll get them. Okay? We will. Let’s keep going--”

Her reassurance was cut off by the sound of growling. You could sort of always hear it - echoing from some distant part of the mall, but now it was more direct. Closer. Oh no, no no no, no more. I felt my chest tighten in that foreboding, familiar way. Panic was gripping me. I wasn’t ready yet, I still hadn’t gotten my bearings from the last time, which must’ve only been ten minutes earlier. I wrenched my grip on Chae. She felt it, moving to instead wrap both of her hands around my arm. 

Hyunjin moved, taking initiative, “Stick _together_. Lay low. _Wait_.” She pointed deliberately to Haseul at that last command. We all listened, ducking to be lower down, but there wasn’t much to hide behind anywhere nearby. My heart started beating faster, my breaths getting caught in my throat. I couldn’t do this yet. I couldn’t. 

Two of those prisoner men scrambled around a corner, tripping over themselves as they ran desperately. One had a pipe in hand, and the other a pistol. They were being chased by infected - by dozens upon _dozens_ of infected. Seeing them in that giant swarm made my blood run cold. I froze. I utterly froze. My chest got tighter, and I couldn’t breathe. Chae wrapped her arm around my waist, pulling me closer against her, but even that wasn’t enough. 

The one closest to the horde staggered and fell hard, wiping out. The infected practically pounced onto him, ripping his chest to shreds. He shrieked and writhed, pistol still in hand, and in some misguided last effort to survive, he pulled the trigger of his gun - shooting one of them in the head. No no _no_ , why would he _do_ that?! The infected only grew angrier and wilder. It’d draw more.

The other prisoner spotted us. We weren’t very well hidden. He ran in our direction. Vivi raised her pistol to threaten him, but he was totally unfazed. Instead, he rammed his shoulder against hers as he scrambled past. Vivi yelped. Oh no, was that her bad shoulder? The infected on his tail noticed us too. Hyunjin was brutal, not giving him any ground as she tripped him - sending him sprawling to the floor. Jun kicked him for good measure.

“ _Run._ ” She told the all of us firmly. We did. 

I still couldn’t breathe, and the running was only making it worse. Chae nudged Jun gently by his arm, and he looked at her through all of our sprinting - noticing my distress. He moved to instead stand behind me - to be a direct buffer from between me and the infected closing in on us. We didn’t know where we were going. We just ran in the opposite direction that they’d come. Naturally, we thought that’d be a safe choice. That it’d be okay, but we’d underestimated how far reaching the gunshot’s noise would go. Before we knew it, we turned a sharp corner and spotted another oncoming horde. We were sandwiched between them. Oh no, oh no no no no. All of my breath left me. I couldn’t even move. 

“U-Um!! What way Hyunjin?!” Jinsol desperately called out. We had nowhere to go - not forward, or back. So we had to go to the sides, then. Into a store, or something, but none of that was ideal. Stores had glass fronts that could be smashed through, if they weren’t already. We needed a door - a solid, stable door. My brain told me that, but I couldn’t say anything. Couldn’t even properly think those thoughts in the moment, when all I could think was that I was going to die. 

Vivi thankfully acted faster than any of us could, throwing open a nearby door to what looked like some sort of maintenance area, “ _In here!!_ ” She tried to hold the door open but Jun wouldn’t let her, instead taking the dangerous position for himself and literally pushing her inside. Chae and Jiwoo both helped to pull me along with her because I’d nearly become catatonic. Jinsol made sure to yank her brother inside as well, helping him to slam that door. Hyunjin was already pushing a nearby mop bucket in front of it, but it was sturdy on its own. Hard to break down without using the handle, which we knew infected weren’t smart enough to do. 

This was a glorified closet. There was no other exit. We were trapped in here. My panic was only doubled by new claustrophobia. How were we going to get out? We couldn’t lure the infected away from inside here. We were stuck. There was no way out of this. I thought all these things, even tried to say a few, but all my words got caught in my intensely tight throat. 

“T-There’s no exits,” It took Haseul only a few moments to realize what I already had, “There’s no exits. Hyunjin, t-there’s no exits!! We need to get out of here, the others a-are out there, w-we have to--”

“--Wait, what about that?” Jinsol cut off Haseul’s desperate rambling before it could get too out of hand. We all turned to her, the others doing their best to catch their breath while I just struggled to not devolve into absolute, inconsolable panic. The rabid growls on the other side of the door and the sound of their hands clawing against the metal was terrifying. Jinsol had pointed to a small vent near the ceiling, and everyone went quiet for a few moments.

Chae released her grip on me all of a sudden, looking up at it, “I-I can crawl through there, get somewhere else, lead them away--” 

I reached up, latching back onto Chae’s hand with white knuckles, “-- _no._ ” This wasn’t up for debate. There was no way. I wouldn’t let her go back out there, by herself, all alone. Just no way. I couldn’t. Especially if I wasn’t there to help her.

Chae moved to stand right in front of me, looking deeply into my eyes, “Hyejoo-yah...” That tone. She was going to try and convince me. She couldn’t convince me. I wouldn’t let her get hurt. I just couldn’t lose her. 

“No, n-no, you can’t--” I tried to sound firm, to sound unwavering, but I just sounded desperate and scared. 

Chae sighed weakly, looking back up at that small vent, “I’m the only one who’ll fit, and I’ll still barely make it through that...” She was trying to reason with me, as if that’d even remotely make this situation okay. She pointed toward the door, toward all the infected we knew were on the other side, “There’s no other way out, and they might break the door down eventually.” My chest tightened even more. She wasn't wrong. But I didn’t want her to go. 

“I can go--” Vivi spoke up suddenly, looking up to gauge the size of the vent.

“--No. Your shoulder. You need to rest.” Jinsol spoke firmly, taking the liberty of reaching up and pulling Vivi’s sleeve off her arm. Her wound was bleeding again. Probably from getting jostled back there. Oh no. She was hurt. 

Chaewon looked back to me, “See? It’s just me.” 

“No, please, _please,_ Chae, d-don’t leave--” My panic was only worsening. Hyunjin had already gotten a stepstool, and yanked the grate of the air vent off. She was preparing it, like there was an unspoken agreement that this was already happening. 

“I _have_ to.” She told me firmly, but she looked scared too. She reached up to gently place her hand on my cheek, still staring deeply into my eyes. By then they were stinging terribly.

All my breaths were sharp, stabbing my chest with every sudden inhale. I shook my head over and over, my denial overwhelming, “No, no _no--_ ”

She nodded at me, her eyes getting glossy too as I felt my own tears finally rolling down my cheeks, “-- _Yes_. I’ll be okay.” She told me in her sweet, gentle voice that normally made me feel so safe but now only made me feel worse somehow. It might be the last time I heard it. 

“Y-You don’t _know that_.” I told her, a small sob leaving me that I couldn’t keep back. Her brow crinkled up adorably from concern and sympathy, but she was adamant on this. 

“Shh, shh...” She leaned closer, resting her forehead against mine and wiping those tears off my cheeks softly with her thumbs. She sniffled, before pulling away suddenly and taking a step back. My heart wrenched so painfully I nearly clutched at my chest from the pain. This was all too much. She headed toward the air vent. Hyunjin was going to help her up. She was leaving. 

* * *

_**Chaewon** _

Hyejoo moved closer just as I stepped toward the small box Hyunjin had brought over for me. I faced her, ready to comfort her again, but instead felt my breath hitch when her lips pressed gently against my forehead. Oh. I hadn’t expected that, or the way that my whole body would start shaking from the contact. I sighed weakly, shutting my eyes, letting my hands drift forward and latch onto the front of her hoodie. I didn’t want to go either. Of course I didn’t. I wasn’t brave, I never had been, and I still wasn’t. But someone had to, and Vivi was hurt. It was up to me. If it meant that my friends would be safe, that _Hyejoo_ would be safe, I’d do it. But Hyejoo begging me to stay, clinging to me so desperately, kissing me like this... it was harder than I ever could’ve imagined. She drew away, reaching to gently cup my jaw, and I stared up at her. My vision was blurred with what I knew were oncoming tears, but I blinked them away. Now wasn’t the time. 

“I-I’ll be careful.” I told her gently. That felt like less of a lie than promising I’d come back. Jiwoo stepped closer, gently clasping my hand with both of hers and running her thumb along my knuckles. Oh boy. I knew she was trying to help, but that somehow only made this even harder. I didn’t want to leave her either. But I thought of Yerim, Jungeun, Sooyoung and Yeojin. They all needed our help. If we didn’t get out of here, we sure as hell couldn’t get to them. I sniffled and took a step back, swallowing hard. I had to. I just had to. 

I felt an unfamiliar hand at the small of my back, and turned to see Hyunjin there, “You ready?” Her tone was gentler than I’d ever heard it before. All these people cared about me. I wasn’t sure if that made this easier or harder. All I could manage was a nod, and that was that. 

The next second, Hyunjin had grabbed me by my sides and lifted me effortlessly toward the vent. I hoisted myself up the rest of the way, and before I knew it I was inside. It was even more cramped than I’d anticipated. I could barely move my arms enough to edge my way along, and for a few lingering moments, I felt myself gripped with panic. What if I got stuck in here? What if they couldn’t get me out? What if I couldn’t distract the infected? What if something bad happened to me out there, and the others were trapped? My heart was beating so fast I could hear it in my ears - the sounds of my ragged breathing echoing around this cramped, tight space.

_It’ll be fine. Just make some noise, and hop back up here. That’s all_. I told myself quietly in my head. It was easier to comfort other people than it was to comfort myself. This wasn’t my place. I wasn’t the brave one, I didn’t take initiative, I just went with everyone else - with the brave people. Hyunjin, Sooyoung, and Jungeun were the brave ones. Not me. Never me. 

Despite all those thoughts, I kept going - edging along at an agonizingly slow pace, but it was all my limited range of motion would allow. The vent took a few sharp turns until it finally stopped at another grate. I pressed my hands against the metal, shoving hard until it finally came off. It fell quite a distance, landing on the floor with an audible clatter. I cringed at the noise and paused, wondering if it would lead the infected straight to me. It didn’t. Thank goodness. It was hard to gauge just how far away I’d gotten from the others, but it felt like miles. If Hyejoo wasn’t in my sight, it... I dunno. It felt like I didn’t know what to do, like I _couldn’t_ do anything. But I had to. It wasn’t a choice anymore, and I couldn’t go back without having tried. 

The vent let out into a small store, what looked like some kind of cafe or something. It was hard to tell, it was so torn to shreds. It looked like a tornado had gone through it. _Alright, Chaewon, you can do this. You_ _have_ _to do this_. I told myself in my head, taking a deep breath before cautiously climbing out. I needed to drop a few feet to the floor. The vent was out of my reach once I’d landed. I did my best to think things through in advance. _Okay... you might have to get back to that vent. So... um..._ I moved toward a nearby table, struggling to push it against the wall to use as a sort of stepping stool if need be. Okay. So that was that. 

I took a second or two to steady my breaths and regain a semblance of composure. I needed to be able to think, and to react quickly. Things might get dicey. A bit steadier after some lingering moments, I slowly edged toward the front of the cafe - listening close. The growling was coming from my right. That must’ve been where the infected were. Okay, okay... um... noise. I had to make noise. Somehow. 

I looked around the space I was in. There were a few intact coffee cups among the debris that I could toss, but I wondered if that’d be loud enough to draw them away. It sort of had to be. I wasn’t strong enough to effectively throw a chair without them noticing me. Maybe if I threw the mug through a window or something? I hefted the weight of one into my hand, walked back toward the entrance, and spotted another store with a glass front across the way. I just had to throw it well enough. No pressure or anything...

Tensing up my entire body, I brought my arm back, and hurled the cup as hard as I could. It slammed through the window, the glass shattering into large shards that noisily fell to the floor. That was _very_ loud, okay. It’d definitely be enough. So at least I wouldn’t have to worry about them hearing. In fact, they were there in what seemed like an instant. I hadn’t prepared for it. It was dumb, I should’ve been ready. I wasn’t. 

A few of them spotted me standing like a deer in headlights not too far from the window I’d just shattered. Oh no. They charged straight for me. I staggered back - falling haphazardly when I tripped over the leg of a chair. I yelped, scrambling beneath a table - shards of glass and debris from this torn apart cafe ripping through the thin fabric of my leggings and against the skin of my knees. One infected tried to climb beneath the table with me, while the other opted to push it aside altogether. They were closing in way faster than I was backing up. I needed to get away, back to the vent

I tried to get to my feet, my palms sliced up from the shards embedding themselves in my skin, but an infected latched onto the back of my sweatshirt. No no _no_. Panicked, I frantically unzipped it and let the infected tug it from my arms. Better my sweatshirt than my life. I vaulted onto the table I’d pushed up earlier, jumping the small space to claw my way back inside that vent. They were still after me. Right behind me. A hand snagged onto my sneaker, pulling me so hard I nearly fell altogether. I dangled precariously, the infected trying desperately to pull my ankle to its teeth. Fuck. _No_. I tried to kick it but I wasn’t strong enough, and there wasn’t enough leverage. My foot just flailed around, barely even hitting its head. In an utter last-ditch effort, I reached down and untied my shoelace, loosening the shoe just enough for the infected to yank it off - confused. Finally, I managed to propel myself up the rest of the way by slamming my sock-covered foot hard against its nose, and I was inside. Safe. 

For a few moments, I just laid in that vent, staring up at the metal inches from my nose and breathing. I almost died. My now bare arms were coated in goosebumps. My hands stung terribly, and my knees bled. But I was alive. I’d made it. And all I wanted was to get back to Hyejoo. 

I crawled through the vent, grimacing and wincing the whole way through. My knees were screaming at me in agony from the pressure I was putting on them, and I tried to clench my fists so my palms didn’t touch the metal, but that was useless too. It hurt either way. I just had to suffer through it. As I got closer and closer back to where I’d left the others, I could hear what I realized was the sound of Hyejoo just... _sobbing_. My heart wrenched. I hated that she was so upset, but honestly? If the roles had been reversed, I don’t think I would’ve been any more composed. 

When I finally reached the end of the vent, I awkwardly poked my head out. Jiwoo had taken it upon herself to try and comfort Hyejoo, but she seemed utterly inconsolable. I cleared my raspy throat weakly, “H-Hey,” All eyes moved to me at once, including Hyejoo’s. She pulled her tear-stained face from her hands and stared up at me in disbelief, like she didn’t even want to let herself get her hopes up. But it was okay. I was really there. “C-Can someone help me down...?” I asked weakly, my heart in my throat. I couldn’t stare at anything but Hyejoo. 

Hyunjin and Jiwoo were there in an instant, reaching up and gently guiding me down. Jiwoo made sure to hug me briefly, whispering a soft, “Thank god,” right into my ear. I squeezed her, but was quick to pull back and make a beeline for Hyejoo. I felt tears streaming down my own cheeks in an instant when she wrapped me in her arms, holding me so tight against her I almost couldn’t breathe. She didn’t stop sobbing. It was the worst I’d ever heard her cry, and I hated it. 

“I’m here. It’s fine. I-I’m here, I-I did it.” I was telling myself that almost as much as I was telling her. My bleeding palms were probably staining her hoodie, but I didn’t care and neither did she. We just cried. I lost it too, quiet sobs making my chest constrict as I hid my face in her shoulder. 

Her body shook so violently I was amazed she could even stand up, “Never leave me again, please, I-I can’t--”

“--I won’t.” She didn’t even need to ask. I never, _ever_ would have done that willingly, and I never planned on doing it again. I could barely function without her there. It felt like something so vital was missing, like a literal organ had been torn straight out of me. She held me even tighter, and I never wanted to let her go, but there were other issues at hand.

“They’re gone?” Haseul asked me pointedly, her own panic still clearly consuming her as she hovered near the door. I nodded, still hugging Hyejoo and working through my lingering panic. “Okay, then we need to move.”

Jun and Hyunjin headed to the door, ready to lead us again, weapons in hand. Things were going on as normal. We still weren’t out of danger. Not even close. But somehow, I did feel safe, because I was with Hyejoo again. 

Surprisingly, she was the first to let me go, but she didn’t get far. Instead she met my eyes and whispered to me gently, “I-I don’t know how much more of this I can take.” 

I nodded at her, empathizing more than she knew. I felt like I was running on fumes - no, on _less_ than fumes. All I could do was rest my forehead against hers again, content to just be close like that, and tell her with the last ounce of genuine hope I had left: “We’ll get out soon. I can tell. We’re getting out of here.” 

* * *

**_Sooyoung_ **

It was strange staying behind like that, being stationary when I knew that all the others were quite possibly running for their lives somewhere else, but I knew I had to stay. If anyone was going to keep Yerim safe, it should be me. It was my fault this had even happened to her in the first place. This sweet, innocent girl got her ear blown off all cuz I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I’d yelled at her, when it was the last thing she deserved. She was just trying to hold us together when we were coming apart. Even if it wasn’t working well, that was all she’d tried to do, and I’d fucking yelled at her for it. What was _wrong_ with me? 

I stared down at her, her head resting in my lap. It almost looked like she was sleeping, but I knew that wasn’t the case. I knew she’d passed out from shock and blood loss. I reached to pull my sleeve over the heel of my hand and gently rubbed the fabric against Yerim’s cheek, wiping some of that eerie blood away. I let my gaze linger, the intense tightness in my chest only getting more constricting when the terrible thought of her not pulling through this resurfaced in my mind. I shook my head back and forth firmly; couldn’t think like that. I couldn’t help it, though. If this girl died, if she bled out, if there was some irreversible complication unseen by Haseul, it was on me. And I didn’t think I could handle that. 

The faint sound of footsteps from near the front of the store made my blood run cold and my survival instincts kick back in full force. Without hesitation, I raised my revolver. I didn’t plan on shooting, not wanting to draw infected, but staring down the barrel of a gun tended to ward people off. If I saw _any_ dude’s face come around that corner, and it wasn’t Jun’s, he was getting a bullet between his eyes. 

Sure enough, one of those fucking prisoners suddenly staggered inside the store, but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me. He had a baseball bat in hand.

“Put. That. Down.” I told him through clenched teeth. I’m sure I wasn’t too threatening besides my firearm, I mean, I was knelt down on the ground with a girl scout's head in my lap. He weakly shook his head back and forth. The fuck? He was in _no_ position to object. “ _Put that fucking bat down or I’ll blow your brains out_.” 

He flinched from the intensity of my tone, and he raised his hands in the air despite still wielding his weapon, “Miss-- i-it wouldn’t be good for me to be unarmed right now!!” He stammered out. He was a bigger guy, so it was sort of funny to watch him squirm. I would’ve revelled in it more, but the terror so clearly behind his eyes was from more than just me. 

I sneered at him, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

He swallowed hard, sweating visibly. He looked really pale and washed out. “T-There’s a horde, coming from all over outside. The shots, t-they must’ve drawn ‘em, this place is gonna be flooded!” My face fell. I couldn’t hide my own fear from him, and there was no real point in it. Shit. Yerim still couldn’t walk. The others had only just left, and I didn’t know how far they’d gotten or if they’d found anyone they’d gone looking for. I at least had a heads up from this guy, but did the others have any clue? Were they about to get totally ambushed and overwhelmed? Fuck fuck _fuck_. 

He took a deep, trembling breath that was interrupted mid-way by a ragged cough, “This place has a-- um-- a back exit. Out that way,” He pointed over my shoulder, toward the door that the other infected had come through earlier. 

A silence spread. I narrowed my eyes at this man, this total stranger, and I wondered why I should even trust him. None of these guys seemed even remotely like they’d so much as heard the word “morals” before, so why would he be giving me this information? This was confusingly close to actually helping me.

“And why the hell should I believe a single word you’re saying, huh? You fucks have been after me and my friends this whole time, you _shot_ her fucking _ear_ off.” I shouted at him, feeling all of my pent up rage and frustration ready to burst straight out of me. My hand that held the revolver trembled, and I needed to edge my finger away from my the trigger, not wanting to shoot by mistake. It would be _super_ gratifying to blow this dude’s ear off, though. An ear for an ear. I resisted the urge. 

He nodded at me, “I-I know, I know, a-and you have every right not to trust me! You do! B-B-But I had no part of that! I was staying out of the whole thing-- n-not all of us want to hurt other survivors, I swear!” His eyes drifted down to Yerim’s unconscious face that still rested in my lap, and an expression of what seemed like genuine sympathy came to his features. “She’s just a kid. Couldn’t be much older than my nephew.” His voice was different. Less scared - more sincere. I was reluctant to trust him. He hadn’t given me much reason to besides his own word, and I wasn’t sure how much that was worth. He looked back toward me, “She doesn’t deserve this. Or to get torn apart by those things. You should get out of here while you can, the both of you.” 

My anger faltered for a moment. It... didn’t _seem_ like he had ulterior motives. It really didn’t. But he was a prisoner. He wore the jumpsuit, he’d just tossed a baggy flannel on over it. Pulling Yerim tighter against my lap, I dared to ask him something else. “What were you in jail for?”

He sighed, “Tax fraud.” The response was automatic, and our eye contact remained steady the entire time. It sounded like the truth. He said it like the truth. So maybe, just maybe, it was the truth. 

The remnants of my doubts were dashed once I heard something else, though. Growling. A huge, uproarious just _wave_ of overlapped growls and infected shrieks coming from outside. Somewhere close, it sounded like. Shit. He really wasn’t bluffing.

I felt myself starting to panic. I wasn’t ready to deal with another horde. There were too many unknowns, this random guy, Yerim was still out cold and there was no chance in waking her up. I blinked dumbly, moving my gun from pointing straight at his head. He lowered his hands but didn’t get any closer to me, as if emphasizing that he wasn’t a threat.   
  


“I-I’m waiting for my friends to come back--” I tried to explain my predicament. 

He scoffed, “--Well you better hope they find their own way out too, cuz it’s a death sentence to wait here.” 

He was right. It wasn’t like I could wade through that oncoming horde by myself and find them, no, I was stranded here. And I needed to help Yerim. That’s what I’d promised to do. That’s what she needed. “Fuck, okay...” I muttered to myself, doing my best to not break apart from the sudden weight of this pressure. I glanced up at the guy, “Can you help?” He tilted his head, not having expected the question. “I-I need to get her on my back. She can’t walk.” 

He nodded readily, tucking his bat away and rushing forward. I got to my feet, weakly hoisting Yerim along with me. With his help, he loosely wrapped her arms around my neck for me and I lifted her dead weight without much problem. She wasn’t too heavy, it was just the matter of maneuvering her when she wasn’t conscious to cooperate. I hooked my arms beneath her legs, taking a deep breath and looking at the guy. He still had his weapon, and I was in no position to fight. If he wanted to hurt us, he would’ve by now. 

“Are you coming?” I asked as I headed toward the back exit. 

He shook his head solemnly before slowly lifting his sleeve. My chest tightened. There was a bite. It was bleeding, and it went deep. I wasn’t sure what to say. What could you say? I guess my sympathy was written all over my face, because he addressed it, “It’s alright. Just wished I was going quicker than this...” He gestured toward the entrance, where the overwhelming sound of the oncoming horde was still terrifyingly audible. Oh. 

“Thank you.” I told him in a softened tone. I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done without that warning - if this horde of infected had just descended on Yerim and I out of nowhere. I mean... I guess I knew we would’ve gotten ripped apart. But I didn’t even want to think of that. Can you blame me? 

He nodded slowly at me again, a sad smile on his face. Maybe it was a little presumptuous, but he really did seem at ease with his fate here. Like he’d already accepted it. He pounded his bat against his palm, “I’m at least gonna put up a fight. And hopefully give you two a head start.”

The growling was dangerously close. I really did have to go. It felt... wrong to leave him. He’d helped us. If he wasn’t bitten, I would’ve brought him with us without question. I didn’t tend to forget a favor lightly, and if I didn’t properly repay them, it always nagged at me. And I wasn’t the best at admitting when I needed rescuing, but if I was being honest, this guy had saved our lives. 

There wasn’t much else to say. Unless he wanted empty well wishes or wasted prayers of good luck, we were done here. It was a shame, and an unanticipated pang of confusing guilt went through my chest, but there was nothing I could do. We both knew that. 

Hefting Yerim’s weight to be more safely on my back, I made a beeline straight for that exit. Something deep down in me made me pause once I was through that door - made me hover, pressing my ear against the surface. It didn’t take long for that growling to get even louder. I vaguely heard a struggle. Then a muffled scream. I sighed, shutting my eyes tightly. It was done. He was gone. 

I shouldn’t stop. There was no time. We needed to get out of here - to somewhere safer. If the infected wanted, they could’ve burst through that door and chased me down in a heartbeat. I wasn’t nearly fast enough to outrun them, not while Yerim was piggybacking me. In this scenario, if I got spotted, I was as good as gone. And so was Yerim. It caught me intensely off guard, but my concern for Yerim actually outweighed my concern for myself. 

I ran. As fast as I could, which wasn’t quite fast enough, but it was all I could muster. This back exit led out to a long, narrow hallway. I couldn’t fight, so that was off the table. All I could really do was run, and potentially try to stay out of sight. This wasn’t ideal. I just needed to get us out of danger, to get us somewhere that was fucking _safe_ for _once_. That was all I wanted. To be able to _breathe_ without worrying I’d get shot at from some unseen prisoner and die before I even knew what was going on. 

Finally, I spotted the exit to the mall that the guy had talked about. It was some sort of emergency exit, yaknow, the whole “don’t use this door or an alarm will go off” sort of thing. But I didn’t have much choice, did I? There was no power, so I rightfully assumed that this alleged alarm wouldn’t actually sound. Sure enough, I pushed it open and was met with moonlight and silence. Oh, thank fuck.

I burst outside, taking in deep, long inhales of the fresh air. I don’t think I’d ever been happier in my life to just be outside. Part of me wanted to collapse onto the grass and just ball up fistfuls of it into my hands, so glad to feel dirt and foliage instead of cold, hard, bloodstained linoleum. But there was no time for that. We were far from safe, even still. 

That guy hadn’t exaggerated about there being infected flocking to the mall from all sides. Small, haphazard clusters were coming from the road we’d walked on, the parking lot, a nearby town, everywhere. You could still hear a few scattered gunshots from inside echoing across the surrounding landscape - it was no wonder that it’d drawn so many. Whoever was inside was still shooting, still fighting, and my stomach dropped down to my shoes at the thought of it the others. My friends. Jiwoo. _Shit_. 

I didn’t want to leave. Everything in my heart and my brain was screaming at me to find some way to stay, find some way to _help_ them and make sure they’d get out _alive_. I just wanted to see Jiwoo again, to hug her, to feel her gripping onto my shirt and hear her tiny little voice. And Haseul, was she okay? Had she found Yeojin? Was Vivi’s shoulder still bleeding from the shot? Was Hyejoo somewhere in there, panicking like she had back in the community center? Was Chae there to comfort her, or was she all on her own? Was Hyunjin putting herself in danger to try and protect everyone, but forgetting to protect herself? Had Jinsol found her brother? Hell, was Jungeun even okay? I had so many questions. So much could be going wrong in there, while I was just standing outside the mall like an idiot, staring up at its ominous, towering walls with wide eyes. 

_You promised you’d keep Yerim safe_. Something dormant in my brain scolded me, trying to put me back on track. _So keep. Her._ _Safe_ _._

A rabid growl from my side snapped me out of my consuming thoughts. Two infected had me in their sights. Shit. I couldn’t stay. It wasn’t even a potential option anymore. I had to go. I had to leave the others. And it’s hard to describe, but when I sprinted away from that mall, it just... _hurt_. My chest ached like someone had just punched me straight in the ribs. 

I was running, but I knew it wasn’t enough. I’d gotten a bit of a head start - the infected had been kinda far off when they’d spotted me, but they were so fast. So frantic and primal, I couldn’t keep up with that, not with Yerim on my back. There were some dense woods not far from the mall, and I headed for them, hoping that the trees would confuse my pursuers. I wasn’t sure if it’d work. I could hear them behind me, plowing through bushes, unfazed by the same branches that I winced at when they whipped my face. 

Running was no use. They’d catch up. But they were dumb, I needed to remember that. If they couldn’t see you, they wouldn’t search. At least not thoroughly. These woods were dense with brush and bushes. They weren’t too thick, but maybe if we just stayed quiet...

Without a moment’s hesitation, I dove into a nearby thicket, ignoring the way that the sharp leaves scratched against my skin. I sank down low, submerging myself and Yerim entirely, and held my breath. Yerim, being unconscious, thankfully was silent too. For good measure, I put a hand over my own mouth, shutting my eyes and listening as closely as I could. 

The infected ran right by us. They didn’t even so much as pause, just giving chase to where they thought I would’ve been going. Thank God. I let out a long breath but wouldn’t let myself relax. For good measure, I stayed crouched in that thicket of bushes, clutching tightly to Yerim and finding myself oddly comforted by her steady breaths in my ear. It reminded me that she was alive. She was still with me. We were _both_ alive, and we’d both gotten out of there somehow. I couldn’t even see the mall from where I was anymore. I’d gotten a bit turned around in the woods. The gunshots had stopped, but that didn’t even matter - the infected had long since heard. 

After a few minutes, a roll of thunder shook the ground at my feet. Oh. I looked up at the sky partially obscured by the jagged canopy of leaves above my head, seeing that the stars were now covered with dark clouds. It didn’t take long for rain to start falling, hard. The bush barely provided any real protection from it, but I didn’t mind. Getting a bit wet was far from the worst thing that could happen to you in this world now. I didn’t even care that my shirt was designer and cost what would’ve been a week’s salary for someone with a normal day job. Shit like that just didn’t matter anymore. What mattered was that we were safe, that I couldn’t hear any infected nearby, and that we hadn’t been bitten. 

I couldn’t stay there forever. After what must’ve been close to half an hour, I dared to stand up - my knees absolutely fucked from the prolonged crouch. Yerim was still out cold. I couldn’t blame her, she’d lost her ear only like forty-five minutes before. 

I looked back toward where I thought the mall might be, wondering if I should try to go back. That was where the others were. But something _deep_ told me that I was never going to willingly set foot in a mall ever again. Besides, I was more lost than I was admitting. I wasn’t good at navigating really anything that wasn’t an urban setting, let alone literal woods. 

So... I guess I was just... I dunno, going? I didn’t like the idea of getting even further away from the others, but what choice did I have...? All I could really hope was that they’d get to the island, and I would too. Right now though? My priority was getting out of these goddamned woods.

I started my cautious, semi-aimless walk, avoiding jutted out roots and patches of newly formed mud. I kept jumping at the slightest noise, going faster and faster, just wanting _out_. These woods were a hard pass. It felt like I was in a horror movie. The isolation was already starting to get to me, despite technically not being alone. 

God, what I wouldn’t do to see a friendly face.

* * *

_**Yeojin** _

Jungeun was _way_ more badass than I thought she was. Like, I’d already had a badass tier list made in my head of the group, and Jungeun was sitting at a comfortable position at third, but now?? After she stomped that dude’s head into fucking jello and then sliced up my sleeve to bandage her stab wound?? Uhh, yeah, she was definitely at the top. Hyunjin and Sooyoung would just have to find a way to cope with being knocked down a peg.

I followed Jungeun semi-closely, but she was still kinda slow, even with my sleeve bandage. She was faster, sure, and I think that Tylenol overdose was kicking in or something, cuz she was saying less “fucks” when she moved than before. I was just doing my best to wipe all this excess blood off me. It’d turned my partially white and orange shirt like, deadass pink and brown, which is _not_ a cute color combo. We passed by a ton of clothing shops, and I considered asking Jungeun if we could stop for a sec, but she seemed like she was in a bad mood so I didn’t. 

My brain kept trying to put a positive, light spin on things, but I wasn’t that dumb. Of course I knew we were in danger, of course I was incredibly aware that Haseul was somewhere else in the mall along with Vivi, and that Yerim was seriously hurt still. Yerim getting hurt fucked me up way more than I thought it would, and I didn’t even have time to respond to it before that shithead dragged me away. I... did _not_ like Yerim getting hurt. It made my chest get all tight, like I was having an allergic reaction to Yerim-pain or something. More than anything I wanted to get back to her, to make sure her bleeding had stopped and that her bandage was okay and that she still smiled the same way as before. But I kept that to myself too. It was pointless to say, since I knew Jungeun was probably experiencing the same exact thing. 

She held her arm out in front of me all of a sudden and stopped dead in her tracks, “Shh.” 

I raised an eyebrow, “I wasn’t even saying anyth--”

“-- _Shh_.” Jungeun latched firmly onto my arm, wrenching her grip. Okay, ow.

That was when I slowly heard it too. Zombies, a ton of them, making their trademark growling noises at max volume. Whoa, it sounded like there were a million of them. Jinkies. I tried not to let myself get too freaked out. Jungeun tugged what I realized was a map quickly from her pocket. Wait, huh?!

“You’ve had a _map_ this whole time?? But we’ve just been wandering around like idiots?” I shoved her shoulder weakly. She didn’t flinch, too busy staring that map down like it owed her money. 

“There’s some sort of ladder to the roof. Over here. C’mon, we’ve gotta get out.” She messily folded the map up before shoving it back into her pocket. 

“Ladder? Roof?? Wait, the fuck??” She tried to tug me along with her by my wrist but I shook myself from her grasp. She looked at me, visibly annoyed, but I didn’t back down, “Why would we go on the roof? We should be trying to get back to Haseul and the others!!” 

Jungeun nodded, but seemed frustrated, “I _know_ , you think I don’t wanna get back there too? Of _course_ I do, but right now?? With all _that_ coming right for us??” She pointed in the direction that the zombie growling was blaring obnoxiously from, “We need to prioritize _us_ getting out in one piece. We’re no good to the others if we’re torn limb from limb.” She started walking again, just assuming I’d follow. 

I blinked dumbly after her. What she said made sense, yeah, but I was in a healthy bit of denial. I pouted, listening closer to the sound of the zombies closing in. We were a floor above them and they were dumb, so it wasn’t like they were going to find a way up. There weren’t even any escalators or stairs nearby where we were. I wasn’t exceptionally scared. That is, until a piercing gunshot suddenly sounded and made my ears ring all over again. _God_ gunshots were _way_ fucking louder than they had any right to be. 

Jungeun ducked low on instinct, rushing back to me and clasping my arm. She wanted to run, but I guess she was just as curious as I was, cuz she dared to poke her head over the railing to see who’d shot. The horde and the shooter must’ve been close - both the growling and the gunshot had nearly made me go deaf. 

That was when her eyes widened, and she stood up so fast she winced. “ _Jinsol!!_ ” She called out, leaning slightly over the railing. 

Huh?! I shot up too, and sure enough, I spotted the blonde, eyepatched angel running at her brother’s side. Oh, he’s the one who shot. At first I thought that was dumb, but Jun knew what he was doing so I wasn’t gonna doubt his judgement. That was good, Jun found Jinsol after all. I was happy enough about that news on its own, so when Haseul and a bunch of the others suddenly came into view too, my heart pulled a Grinch and swelled up to three times the size. 

“Jungeun?!!” Jinsol called back up to Jungeun, relief showing through visibly on her panicked face. 

“Haseul!! _Up here!!_ ” I called out to my sister, so desperate to get to her I almost fucking vaulted over the railing and risked breaking my ankles. Jungeun seemed to sense it somehow, latching tightly onto the back of my shirt before I could do something dumb. 

Haseul’s eyes moved to the two of us in an instant, and tears started streaming down her cheeks. Big sap. Why was she even sad, I was fine. She started looking all over the place for some way to get to us, and I did too, but there was nothing. At least not nearby. And those infected were closing in. Not seeming to care, Haseul tried to shout back up at us, “I-I don’t see any stairs!! I-Is there a--”

Jungeun instinctively raised her rifle, as if forgetting it had no bullets, “WATCH OUT!!” An infected dolphin dived at Haseul’s feet and damn near almost got a bite in, but Jun was ready. He blew its brains out all over the floor.

Hyunjin rushed forward, hooking her arm with Haseul’s and desperately trying to pull her along. But that’d mean they’d leave us. I didn’t want them to go. I felt my chest getting all tight again, and it only got even worse when I realized Yerim wasn’t with them. Wait, where was she?! Shit shit shit _fuck_. What the _fuck_. This was absolute _ass_ right now. Where the _shit_ was Yerim? And Sooyoung?! Oh no, were they...? 

Haseul didn’t budge or break our eye contact until Vivi started tugging on her too, the others trying to fend off the horde with their blunt weapons, but it’d only take like a few seconds before they got overwhelmed. Finally, she groaned in intense frustration and shouted back at us so loud that her voice broke, “JUST KEEP HER SAFE, JUNGEUN!!”

“I will! _I promise!!!”_ Jungeun leaned further over the railing’s edge, the two of us watching with bated breath as they rushed away. The infected were right on their tail. It was like I couldn’t even breathe. Jungeun swallowed hard, sweat visibly dotting her brow. That fucked her up, too. I could tell. Either way, she looked dead at me and wrenched her grip on my shirt that she still held, “We have to _go_. No arguing. No talking. Stay _close_.” I stiffened, almost feeling like I should salute her or something, but we were moving. Fast. 

If she was still hurt, she sure as shit wasn’t showing it anymore as we whizzed along. And she seemed to know where she was going this time. But... Haseul. And Yerim. And Chaewon and Jinsol and Hyunjin and _everyone_ , I didn’t want to go. Jungeun’s grip was tight, but her hand trembled. She didn’t want to either. I knew she didn’t. God, this was all so _fucked_. 

We found the ladder. It was tucked away in a tiny little room. Infected were realizing that there were people upstairs from our shouting and were trying to find a way up, and it made me wonder if Haseul and the others could find a way up too. If we could just wait, if these fucking zombies left us alone for two minutes, we could get to them. We were so _close_ , but we couldn’t wait. I knew we couldn’t. It just wasn’t _fair_. 

Jungeun paused at the base of the ladder, picking up a box of ammunition nearby with a weak sigh, “Bullets. For a hunting rifle...” She looked up the ladder with a furrowed brow, “Stay quiet. If there’s some fucker with a rifle up here, I don’t want him to see us.” She exhaled shakily before slowly climbing up. I followed close like she told me. 

The ladder led to a hatch which Jungeun opened with ease, but we both grimaced when it made a noisy as fuck squeak. Damn it. She didn’t hesitate to reach the top and pull me up the rest of the way, scanning our surroundings. I knew she said to stay close but I didn’t really care, honestly, and instantly started looking for a way down. This was way too high up. Thankfully, we somehow got lucky for once. There was another ladder not too far away, leading to the ground. Oh, thank god. I was so sick of how garbage our luck was, I was starting to wonder if I’d murdered a leprechaun in a past life or something. 

“Jungeun!! Here!” I called out to her without much thinking. She looked at me with a death glare that could’ve melted ice, and I realized why when I spotted one of the fucking prisoner dudes on the other side of the roof. He had a rifle in hand. Oh shit, oh fuck. 

“GO.” Jungeun sprinted toward me, but I was already on that ladder - climbing down as quick as my stubby little limbs would let me. I heard him shoot, and I froze, looking up in terror. Did he hit her...? I was held in terrifying suspense for a few moments before Jungeun came back into my sight, taking the ladder two rungs at a time. These close calls were aging me at twice the speed, I swear I was in my mid-thirties by that point. 

By the time we got to the bottom of the ladder, roof dude had run over to where we’d been and was shooting down at us. God what a fucking _dick_. What was he trying to prove?! Jungeun rushed ahead, down the nearest road, holding me to her side so I’d forcibly keep up. At the first shot from him she dove behind a car for cover. A few bullets pummeled the side of it, and she was silently counting them. I think she knew how many would be in the clip, or something, I dunno, she’s a soldier or whatever. After five or six bullets, she pulled me back to my feet, and we were running again. 

His bullets were drawing infected, too. Fucking awesome. Of course. Why not? It could just be the cherry atop this diarrhea shit cake that was today. Jungeun cursed under her breath and I echoed it for good measure, finding it cathartic and knowing she wouldn’t scold me. She ducked behind another car, gritting her teeth. Oh. Her side was hurting her after all. 

  
“We need to g-get out of the line of fire.” She explained to me slowly, shutting her eyes. We couldn’t afford to stop. The infected were rushing over by then. “D-Do you see anything? A house? A building? A truck?” She grimaced again, but she was pushing through it. 

There was a house. A ratty, sad little shack off the side of the highway - the type of place you’d never want to live. I wondered if people even lived in it, it was so small and beaten down. But it was a building, and it had walls. I pointed toward it, and Jungeun nodded at me with lidded eyes before staggering to her feet again. She held me to her, and at first I thought she was protecting me but now I couldn’t tell if she was also using me for support. Either way, it was fine. 

We burst through the door to that house right as another one of that dude’s bullets tore up a piece of asphalt right near our feet. Thankfully he was a shit aim. Dumbass. Jungeun was inside first, leaning against the nearest wall and barking out another order at me, “We should hide. Find a place.” I nearly asked her what she was gonna do, but my question was answered when she started pushing a nearby scuffed up table in front of the door. I’d never been given responsibility like that before. Honestly it was a lot, and I wasn’t quite ready for it, but I also didn’t want to die. Not yet at least. 

I’d noticed a hatch on the ceiling when we first came in, cuz I thought it was weird for there to be an attic in the entryway like this. Maybe it was luck again, taking pity on us for being thrown to the wolves every four seconds. I dragged over a nearby chair, not really caring about noise anymore, and used it as a booster to reach the little dangly cord. All the zombies on our ass reached the door by then and were throwing themselves against it like ragdolls. Jungeun pressed her weight against the table barricade for good measure. Okay, no time, no time. 

I grabbed the cord and yanked hard, the ladder folding out from above and nearly hitting me in the fucking head. My catlike reflexes allowed me to duck out of the way, but I stumbled clumsily from the chair. Jungeun looked at me from the noise, checking to make sure I was okay, and spotted the ladder. I _think_ she nodded at me, in like, agreement? Or something? I dunno, I was way too fucking tired to analyze her vague soldier nods. Either way, she gestured for me to go up first, and I wasn’t gonna protest that at all. I practically jumped up that fucking ladder, scrambling into a dusty, dark attic that smelled like wet cardboard. Yum. Part of me wanted to shout at Jungeun to catch up, but the last time I’d done that it’d nearly put a cap in our ass. 

I didn’t need to tell her. After I heard what sounded like something else being dragged to add to the barricade, Jungeun was climbing that ladder too - diving into the attic and pulling the ladder up swiftly behind her. Once that hatch was closed, and we were up here, left with nothing but our own heavy breathing, I let myself relax. 

I fell hard onto my back with a drawn out groan, burying my face into my hands. Holy shit. We’d made it out of the mall. Part of me had been convinced I’d just fucking die in there at the rate things were going, but we made it. Jungeun still wasn’t relaxing, though. I wondered if she was even capable of it. She walked over to a nearby tiny window and threw it open, needing to hunch so her head wouldn’t hit the low ceiling. A welcome breeze blew in, helping to waft out some of this musty attic air. 

Jungeun moved to my side where I laid, and collapsed along with me - face down on the wood. I nudged her gently with my foot, “You alive?” 

I could see her chest rising and falling, which was enough of a confirmation for me, but she turned her head to meet my eyes. “Barely.” 

I blew a cathartic raspberry, “Fucking mood.” 

* * *

_**Hyunjin** _

That fucking horde came out of nowhere. I literally shoved the others in front of me, insisting on taking up the rear so that if anyone got grabbed by one of these things, it was someone who was trained in flipping people to the ground. My lungs burned and my legs ached. I was a professional athlete, so I could only imagine how sore these girls were. Chae only had one shoe. I was considering giving her a piggyback ride or something so her bare foot wouldn’t get hurt, but there was no time. If we so much as paused, they’d be on top of us. At least Jungeun and Yeojin were alive. That was a welcome relief. Somehow, though, seeing them only to have to separate again just pushed Haseul further over the edge.

_“Donghyuck!!”_ A voice shouted out from somewhere above us. It was that same fucker who’d had the machete earlier - Kitae, I think his name was. He was with other prisoners.Oh come _on_ , I was _so_ not in the mood to fight more of those fuckers right now. We had more than enough to deal with. 

The kid paused, looking up at his brother with wide eyes. He knew we couldn’t stop. Kitae looked at the horde, visibly dismayed, but then gestured to one of his pals who had a bottle in his hand. Okay, so? It was only when I saw him bringing his lighter toward a rag in the bottle’s neck that I realized it was a molotov. Oh fuck. 

“Watch out!!” I did my best to warn the others, not at all sure where that asshole planned on tossing that firebomb. We all ducked low at my signal, still running the whole way. I kept my eyes on the bottle, and was surprised when the guy threw it far. It landed dead center in the middle of the horde, flames spreading rapidly among the condensed crowd. Would that work? I looked over my shoulder. The ones on fire were batting rabidly at their clothes, crying out in agony, writhing on the floor. Oh, it definitely worked. Still, the infected closest to us seemed relatively unfazed since there was food right in front of their face. 

Kitae and his crew were following us, albeit a floor above - but keeping up. We didn’t know where we were going, just that we were trying to get _away_. I dared to do something risky, spinning on my heel and swinging my machete aimlessly at the hands trying to cling to my back. The blade sunk deeply into one of their hands - severing it clean off, and the infected stopped in its tracks to cry out from the pain. There were still more, though. They weren’t letting up. Kitae found a staircase leading down to us and took it three steps at a time, pulling Donghyuck into his arms as soon as he was in reach. I wondered if he was going to try and whisk him away, but instead, he and his crew merged with our group. Well, cool I guess? I still didn’t wasn’t sure if I should trust the fucker. 

“Do you guys know a place we can lose them?!” Jinsol called out to the new group of sketchy prisoners in our ranks. 

Kitae shook his head in dismay, but the same dude who’d chucked that molotov seemed to have a different idea. He pulled another from his backpack, sure to give us a disclaimer in a raspy voice, “This’ll only buy us a little time, so keep runnin’.” He didn’t have to tell me twice. He lit the bottle’s rag with a shaky hand and tossed it over his shoulder. It shattered, erupting into a sizeable pool of flames on the linoleum. Some infected tried to run through it but found their clothes engulfed, others oddly enough paused and hesitated. Either way, Kitae corralled the rest of us into a large electronics store at our side. 

  
“Donghyuck, just stay with me kid, okay?!” He ruffled the hair atop his brother’s head, “I’m gonna get you out of here,” He glanced up at Jinsol, Jun and I, clearly recognizing us. “You saved him, yeah?” 

I wasn’t sure how to answer that, but Jinsol did for me, “He saved me first, but yes--” Her words were cut off with a soft “oof” when one of the other prisoners thrust a heavy looking backpack into her hands.

  
“Take those. It’s some of our good stuff. Supplies, food. There’s a way out just a little bit that way. We’re gonna try to stick it out here, see if the fuckers pass through, maybe try to make this place safe for everyone - not just us.” Kitae explained in one quick breath, speaking for the others but none of them were objecting. Whoa. So he actually wasn’t a piece of shit.

We didn’t have time for this, but we all appreciated the gesture and could _really_ use the help. After slinging the bag onto her shoulders, Jinsol surged forward and wrapped Donghyuck in her arms. The kid didn’t even flinch from the contact, almost like he’d expected it as he hugged her back tightly. Again, we had no time for this, but whatever. Donghyuck pulled back first. Just as we turned to rush in the direction Kitae had pointed, the kids small voice made us pause. 

“W-Wait, um--” He confused me even further by reaching down to his sneakers and untying one of them. The fuck? He handed it awkwardly to Chaewon, muttering under his breath with a blush, “I-I have small feet...” She looked at the shoe as if it was made of gold, before slipping it onto her foot and frantically tying a loose knot of the laces. It fit perfectly. 

“Alright, I love Cinderella as much as the next guy but we need to _go._ ” Jun spoke up firmly, his tone the same as his strict-cop one from earlier. He was right. That small flame wouldn’t distract the infected forever, and it’d already been a solid thirty seconds. Kitae and the others ducked low behind a counter, readying their weapons and going dead silent. Donghyuck waved weakly at the rest of us before joining them, and the next second, we were running all over again. 

We had enough space between us and the horde so that I didn’t feel their fingers nearly latching onto the back of my shirt every three seconds, but we were far from in the clear. Kitae hadn’t lied about there being an exit. It wasn’t the same way we’d come in, but that didn’t matter. All I cared about was getting out of this _fucking_ _mall_ _._ Vivi reached the doors first, throwing them wide open and holding them that way for the rest of us. We burst into a parking lot. It was empty besides some scattered, forgotten cars, and a few lingering clusters of infected. Great. 

“ _Find a car!!_ ” I called out to them. It was our only real chance. We couldn’t keep running like this, I already felt damn near about to collapse. Some of these vehicles were wrecked beyond repair, so those were a no. Those of us who could still fight, got ready to fight, while the others scampered around to search.

I shut the doors we’d come through and desperately tried to hold them that way despite the infected pressing against the other side. At this rate, they were just going to shatter through the glass. Any time I could buy us might save our lives. I gritted my teeth, digging my heels into the gravel, straining my muscles so terribly I might’ve pulled something. 

It was _pouring_ rain. I hadn’t even noticed until it made my fingers nearly slip from the wetness, my hair sticking to the sides of my face. Vivi and Jun were dealing with the ones outside who spotted us. Jun was using his pistol for its intended purpose now, and it barely even mattered - we’d long since been detected. One infected latched suddenly onto my arm from the side and I yelped, just managing to elbow it off before Jun put a bullet between its eyes. Fuck. Too close. 

I couldn’t hold the doors anymore. It was too much weight on the other side. My fingernails dug against the metal handles so intensely they were nearly starting to bleed. My knuckles felt like they were about to snap in half. I held my ground for a few more dragging moments of sheer agony before I finally broke away, but just as I did, I heard the sound of an engine sputtering to life. 

Hyejoo poked her head triumphantly out of the front of a news van, holding two frayed wires in her tiny hands that sparked briefly. “ _I-I got it!!_ ” Chaewon threw open the doors to the trunk just as Hyejoo declared her victory, gesturing for us all to hurry over. We did. 

Vivi, Jun and I were furthest away. Haseul was already there, but seemed to be hesitating. I understood why. But we couldn’t afford to pause. Jiwoo hovered outside too, looking at the mall with glistening eyes as the rain soaked us all to the bone. Jinsol hopped into the driver’s seat, pushing Hyejoo to the back. Hyejoo and Chaewon both tried to weakly tug Jiwoo in, panic in their eyes, but only patience in their voices. 

Jiwoo shrugged them off without much effort, “B-But, Sooyoung...? Jungeun--” Her voice cracked sharply.

“Please, Jiwoo-yah, _please_.” Chae pleaded, balling up the side of Jiwoo’s jacket tighter as she tugged on it. Jiwoo sniffled, her face crinkling up into the saddest expression I’d probably ever seen in my life, and let out a small sob before crawling into the back with the others. 

Haseul still wouldn’t budge. Fine. I was just about to reach the van. We didn’t have time to discuss this. Prepping my apology in advance, I wrapped my arms firmly around her waist and dove into the trunk. Vivi slammed the doors shut behind me and Jinsol helped brace them, Jun having taken the blonde’s place in the driver’s seat.

Haseul struggled and squirmed against me, “Let me _go--_ l-let me _get them_ , let me--” Jun slammed his foot down hard on the gas just as those infected started pounding their fists against the car, the van hydroplaning for a few terrifying moments before Jun got firmer control and sped off down the nearest road. Haseul stared out the van’s back windows at the mall getting further and further in the distance. She froze for a few moments, until suddenly lunging at Jun, trying to grab the wheel, “ _Stop the car_ \-- stop!! Let me _out_ \-- let me out, I-I can--” I tightened my grip, pulling her into my lap. She kept squirming, punching weakly against my chest with what must’ve been all the strength she had left in her, “ _Stop it!!_ Let me _go!!_ I-I can’t leave them, I-I _can’t_ \--” Her face was stained with raindrops but I could still see the tears leaving her raw eyes. 

“Shh.” I told her softly, shutting my own eyes right as they started to burn. I held her tighter in my lap, slowly rocking her back and forth. 

My gentle voice made her falter. She expected a fight. She expected me to be stern. But how could I, when I understood exactly what she was going through? Needing to leave the person you cared about most in a potentially deadly situation, with only the hollow hope of finding them again somewhere else? I empathized intensely, and I think she started to realize that. She stared up at me with those red eyes, all the anger fading from her face. “I-I can’t, I-I-I... Hyunjin...?” Her voice broke when she pitifully whimpered my name that way. My heart wrenched. 

“Shh...” I told her again, gently cradling the back of her head. She hid her face in my shirt, curling up into a sort of ball. I couldn’t tell if she was crying. All I could hear were her intensely uneven breaths as she trembled in my arms. Vivi was in the passenger’s seat, craned around to look at all of us. God, she looked practically dead. Hell, I probably looked no better.. 

Jinsol scooted closer to me, only to start gently running her fingers through Haseul’s hair and rubbing circles against her back. Jiwoo had stopped sobbing, silent tears now ghosting slowly down her cheeks as she sat on the opposite side of the van. Hyejoo and Chaewon had both latched onto either one of her arms, resting their heads on her shoulders. 

Jun took a deep, long breath that semi-cut through the dense air, flicking the windshield wipers on as rain pummelled the roof, “Well... we made it.” He glanced at us all in the rearview mirror, “Guys, we made it out.” 

His optimism was misplaced. But I appreciated the effort, shooting him a very small, tired smile. 

Jiwoo sniffled, speaking in a bitter, unfamiliar tone, “But did they...?” 

Nobody said anything else, because nobody had an answer. Jun kept driving until that mall wasn’t in sight, until we couldn’t hear any more growling or gunshots, until our breaths had evened out and the rocking of the van had nearly lulled most of us to sleep. Eventually, he pulled over in a relatively rural town - parking in a random empty driveway. 

“I’ll check the house.” He looked back at me, as if to see if I’d help, but when he saw Haseul in my lap he decided against asking. This whole neighborhood just felt... dead. He came back a few minutes later, none of us having said a word, “It’s clear. Come on. We could all use a rest.” He opened up the trunk’s doors. Jinsol hugged him weakly as she passed. He placed a gentle kiss atop of her head. 

More than anything I found myself oddly grateful that Heejin hadn’t been with us through all that. And I hoped she was somewhere safe. I hoped she was on that island, away from this. That was all I could hope for. And now, that was all Jiwoo and Haseul could hope for too.


	29. Rest Period 4 - A Suburban House

_**Haseul** _

It felt like everything was falling apart. I didn’t know what to do with myself, or what I was expected to do with myself. I just sat in the dining room of this random house we’d decided to use as a shelter, watching blankly as the others barricaded the entrances and shut all the blinds. I listened to the rain pummeling the windows and the harsh winds making the walls creak. Yeojin loved the rain. She’d always go out and play in the mud like a dumbass and I’d need to wash all her clothes before mom got home to yell at her. Now she was gone. The only comfort I had was that Jungeun had rescued her from those prisoners, but just how comforting was that? Sure, she wasn’t in the clutches of some criminal, but now she was out in this hell of a world. My heart had started to hurt so badly that I’d practically shut down. There was so much to worry about: Yerim, Sooyoung, Jungeun, Yeojin. It was overwhelming my brain and my body. It took nearly all of my effort just to breathe. 

“Hey...” A soft voice at my side snapped me out of my thoughts and pulled me forcefully back to reality. The others had spread around the house, probably looking for supplies and spots to sleep, but it seemed like Jinsol had made a beeline straight to me. She stood there, her head slightly tilted. 

“I--? Oh, h-hi,” I got out of my seat, feeling like I needed to put on a brave face, or I dunno, _something_. Now wasn’t the time to break down. We needed to focus on recuperating, on finding them, but I just... 

Jinsol frowned, hesitating for only a moment before she ever so slightly extended her arms. She didn’t hug me. She was just offering. And that on its own was enough to make me nearly lose it. I threw myself into the embrace, not knowing just how badly I needed it until she held me tight against her. “Jungeun will keep her safe.” She whispered gently right into my ear. 

I sniffled, blinking away tears and swallowing the lump in my throat so I could speak, “ _I_ was supposed to keep her safe, s-she’s _my_ sister, I love her so much and now she’s _gone_ somewhere _else_ and I-I can’t--”

“--I know, sweetie, I know...” She squeezed me tighter, rubbing a slow circle at the small of my back. 

I shook my head, hiding my face as I fought back the sobs sitting at the top of my chest, “Fuck, just... _fuck_.”

She kept trying to make me feel better, to mutter platitudes and reassurances, which I knew was what anyone would’ve done in this position, but it felt so stilted. “They’re gonna head to the island, Haseul. That’s where we’re all going. We have the same destination, we just got a little mixed up along the way... Right?” She drew away ever so slightly so she could see my face. Warmth flooded my cheeks from what I knew was embarrassment at my own inability to be rational or composed like usual. I didn’t feel like myself. Her thumbs swept gently beneath my eyes, wiping away the small traces of tears that I couldn’t quite contain. “Right...?”

I sniffled again, blinking rapidly, “Right... right, you’re right.” If the positions had been flipped, I would’ve been saying the exact same things to her. Surprisingly, it was almost enough to help. Or at the very least, it was a step in the right direction. “Fuck... I need to get it together.” I took as deep a breath as my tight chest would allow. It made my body stop trembling as violently, but that was all. 

Her head shook ever so slightly in disagreement, “It’s okay to not be okay.” She told me, reaching up again to rest her soft palm against my cheek, “Just... we can’t give up. We’ve gotta keep going. You’ll see her again.” 

My harsh, persistent realism wouldn’t let the certainty of that statement go unchecked, “You don’t know--”

“--I can hope, can’t I?” She cut me off, not indulging my fears. I went silent. I didn’t know what to say to that. Sure, she could hope. People could always hope. But it was dangerous. Because _nothing_ was worse than your hopes getting dashed. My little sister being alive was more than just a “hope,” though, it was a _need_. If something happened to her, I’d just... break. Jinsol’s gentle voice thankfully snapped me out of my bleak thoughts yet again, “Do you believe in karma?”

That was probably the last question I would’ve assumed she’d ask me, “What...? I guess...”

“Well then you’ll absolutely see her again.” That same certainty was present in her tone. I didn’t understand it in the slightest, and evidently my confusion showed on my face. “Haseul, you’re the sweetest, most genuine, selfless person I’ve ever met. If anyone deserves good things it’s you. So if karma does exist, and it doesn’t give you this one thing, then it’s an asshole.” I stared up at her after her impromptu speech, absolutely enthralled. Where did that come from...? In my current state, I didn’t find it even remotely valid. But the fact that she’d even bothered to say all that in the first place... I felt even more heat rising to my face, and she must’ve been able to feel it. My breath hitched subtly when she leaned closer, standing on her tiptoes to place a gentle kiss on my forehead and mutter against my skin, “We’ll get to her. Okay...?” 

I nodded slowly, my chest fluttering. It was only when Jinsol was so close that I realized she was trembling slightly. An instinct I hadn’t felt for some time emerged all of a sudden: my inner nurse, “You’re shaking... what’s wrong?” 

  
“Nothing.” Her dismissive response was too automatic to be true. 

“No, what?” 

She sighed shakily, sounding slightly frustrated at herself, “Just... today could’ve gone so much worse. I-I don’t know what we would’ve done if we lost you.” All of her previous confidence and certainty had dissipated out of nowhere as she ducked her head low, taking a small step away.

I guess I was sort of important to the group’s structure as a whole. I still wasn’t in the proper mindset to even understand what she was implying. “Vivi has some medical training, so she could--”

She shook her head, “--not just the nurse thing, Haseul.” At the correction, she briefly met my eyes again, only to lose her nerve and look back toward the floor, “I mean just... _you_. You’re important. To all of us.” I went quiet, not sure what to do besides stand there and blush like an idiot. I didn’t feel important. If I was important, I could’ve saved Yeojin. I could’ve kept Yerim from getting shot, could’ve stopped so many things. I just stared up at her, not expecting her to say much else and feeling my heart skip a beat when she did, “Especially to me.” 

I blinked dumbly at her, completely caught off guard by the sentimentality. At least she seemed flustered and timid too, fiddling nervously with her fingers. “Um... I-I, uh...” I stared up at her eyes, or, well, _eye_ , only then realizing something, “Hey, I should probably check to see how that’s healing.”

The change in topic seemed to be a relief to the both of us, because Jinsol nodded readily, “Right. It’s uh, getting kinda annoying to only see out one eye...” I reached up as delicately as I could, slowly undoing the medical tape and revealing the wound. It’d actually closed up slightly. At least enough so that I could adjust the bandage. I shifted it to a less bloodied section. 

“Stay still okay?” I told her softly as I reapplied the bandage. I felt confident enough in the wound’s healing to just cover the eyebrow itself, leaving her eye exposed now. She blinked, squinting adorably as it adjusted to the exposure. “There... it might be disorienting for a little while longer, but you should be feeling better after you sleep...” I couldn’t help but notice how red her cheeks were all of a sudden. “What’re you blushing for? You okay?” 

Her blush only deepened once I’d mentioned it, “What-- I-- uh, yeah. Fine.”

  
I raised an eyebrow as I secured the medical tape, “You sure?”

She cleared her throat weakly, “Yeah you’re just-- you’re-- you’re really close.” She muttered that last bit so quietly I wouldn’t have been able to hear if I’d been so much as another step away.

“Oh... sorry,” On instinct I started to back up, but was startled when I felt Jinsol’s hand on my side holding me in place, even tugging me slightly closer.

“No, I... I don’t mind.” Our eyes met again. I’d been staring at her to assess her wound before, but now I was just... looking. She was easy to look at. I wondered if I should say something else, but it was like all my words were caught in my throat. Now I was the one who was blushing. 

Her head dipped slightly, and I felt my eyes widen, but the next second she’d stepped away, jaw dropped. “U-um, sorry-- that, was, um... I’m tired! Yaknow, long day and--” She bumped clumsily into a dining chair and tried to play it off like she was just pushing it neatly beneath the table, “--want me to find you a place to sleep? I’m gonna find you a place to sleep, like a bed or something, remember beds? That’d be cool, so, uh, I’ll do that!” With that, she ducked out of my sight, disappearing to another part of the house. What the hell...?

I wasn’t entirely sure what’d just happened. What I did know, though, was when she started to close that space, I hadn’t even thought of moving away. And I wasn’t quite sure what that meant, so I decided against thinking about it. There were _way_ more things for me to think about.

* * *

_**Hyejoo** _

It was nice to be in a house. Like... really nice. Hyunjin hadn’t given us any instructions once we got inside, so we were sort of on our own to wander, which was also a rarity nowadays. With all the exits barricaded, I felt pretty safe. The van’s heating had dried all of us off a bit after the storm drenched us, but I was still a bit too wet for comfort, so Chae and I headed upstairs and into one of the three bedrooms. It looked like it’d been some highschool boy’s, based on the decor and posters. At least it was semi-neat. 

She walked around, looking at things thoughtfully. I spun idly in a desk chair and watched her. She was subtly shuddering. She’d been doing that since she’d gotten soaked. Her t-shirt left her arms exposed, so she must’ve been freezing. 

I stood up, telling her gently, “Don’t look,” as I walked to the room’s dresser.

“Why-- oh--” She initially turned to me, only to raise her eyebrows adorably and spin back around when she saw that I was taking off my hoodie. Her face got all red, and as if for good measure she reached up to cover her eyes with her hands too. 

I rooted briefly through the drawers, finding a baggy sweater with a band logo on the front that had dark enough colors for me to feel comfortable wearing it. I quickly slipped it over my head, looking back toward Chae. “Okay, all done.” 

She spun back around sheepishly, tilting her head at my new wardrobe. “Aw. I like that...” She gently brushed her hand along the fabric, standing at my side. 

“You should find something new too...” I gestured toward the dresser. She hesitated for a moment, her eyes lingering on my hoodie that I’d set down. I watched with a raised eyebrow as she tugged it into her hands. “You want that...? It’s dirty, though... and it has a hole.” I gently poked my finger through the rip in question. 

“But... it’s yours...” She muttered shyly, that blush from before still lingering on her cheeks. 

My heart fluttered again. She wanted it just cuz it was mine...? “Um... still, though. You shouldn’t. Pick something clean, okay?” I didn’t like how sad her face got when I told her no, but really, I just wanted to see her wearing something that wasn’t drenched in blood. She started to root through the other clothes while I thought of a compromise. I slipped a hair tie from my wrist, “Here, um...” It had a small pendant of a wolf on it. My cousin got it for me years before. It didn’t mean much to me, but if Chae wanted something of mine, she was more than welcome to have it. “I-If you want.” 

“Oh!” She smiled brightly at me, reaching up to undo her ponytail and replace her old tie with mine. Completely forgetting the clothes, she instead moved to a nearby mirror and looked at the way she could see the pendant poking through her blond hair. “I love it! Thank you.” 

I shrugged earnestly, the way she was looking at me with those sparkling eyes making even more heat flood to my face, “I-It’s nothing, really... um, here,” I stepped out of the room, feeling like I should give her some privacy. “I’ll wait outside, so you can change. Okay?” 

“Okay.” Despite the confirmation, she seemed a bit nervous about me leaving the room. Honestly I felt the same way. Being separate from her, with even just a wall between us, made me intensely anxious. After gently shutting the door, I stayed right beside it, tapping my foot. It was sort of ridiculous. She only took a minute or so, but I found myself counting the seconds. 

Finally, she opened that door back up, and my chest lightened. Now she wore a light green hoodie with a sunflower embroidered on the front of it, as well as a new pair of jeans, seeming quite pleased with her selections. She’d also found a pair of fluffy socks, her mismatched shoes kicked off in the corner. 

I couldn’t help but smile at her, and she beamed right back at me, “That was in there?” I pointed to the floral hoodie. It didn’t at all fit with the decor of the room or the rest of the clothes. 

She nodded excitedly, “Yep!! I had to dig a bit, I think he was trying to keep it hidden.” She intertwined our fingers together and tugged me back inside, leading the two of us to the bed. Wow. A _bed_. The soft mattress alone was almost enough to make me pass out as soon as I made contact. The feeling was mutual, Chae shutting her eyes weakly for a few moments as she spoke, “It... feels kinda weird to take this guy’s stuff.” She looked around this room that suddenly felt potently empty from the observation. 

She wasn’t wrong. My survival instinct had been so intense that I hadn’t realized just how odd it was to be taking these things without a second thought. I wrapped my arm loosely around her waist, and she rested her head on my shoulder as if automatically, “We need them, though...” 

“I know, it’s just weird. Like, it makes me wonder if someone’s back in the city, rooting through my clothes in my apartment. That sort of thing...” That was a good point, and something that hadn’t at all crossed my mind. It wasn’t much of a concern or anything, just something to think about. 

I sighed, fatigue making my eyelids heavy, “Well, at least they won’t be able to take your rocks.” She giggled sweetly at the comment, hiding her face slightly in my neck. At the mentioning of these rocks, I reached into my front pocket, relieved to still feel the flat surface of Butterfly there. I was worried I’d lost it in all that chaos. I pulled the rock out, running my thumb along it thoughtfully. 

Chae gasped, “Oh! You still have her!” She excitedly tapped the surface with her fingertips. “She’s so pretty... I’d love to paint some wings on her. You don’t think there’s paint in this house somewhere, do you?” She shot to her feet, abruptly invigorated with energy. Just the sight of all that giddiness made me want to nap. I clung loosely to her hand, pulling her back to the bed with me. 

“Maybe, but let’s just... sleep. Okay? Please?” I met her eyes. At the actual mentioning of resting, her smile faded and all that energy faded just as quickly as it’d come. She took out her ponytail, carefully setting down the tie I’d given her on a nearby nightstand.

I laid on my back and Chae was quick to nestle into my side. It reminded me of that night in the field with our bikes. I stared up at that ceiling as if it were another starry sky, letting my mind wander as I gently trailed my fingers through Chae’s hair again. 

She sighed happily, “This... feels normal, almost.” Her tone was nothing but a soft whisper, like we were having a slumber party and didn’t want our parents to overhear us in the other room to tell us to go to bed. “Like... this is just our house, a-and we’re roommates or something, coming home after a long day, to a bed and clean clothes.” The sound of the rain pattering against a nearby window pane was nearly enough to drown out her tiny voice. 

I nodded in agreement, “It’s nice.” 

“It is...” There was a low roll of thunder, and a quick bolt of lightning. Chae flinched adorably, and I tightened my grip on her. “I... when that infected bit your sweatshirt earlier, I--”

“--it didn’t bite me.” I re-emphasized, knowing it was what she needed to hear. 

“I know, but... Hyejoo I don’t think I’ve ever been more scared in my life.” She scooted closer, wrapping an arm around my middle, “I... thought I lost you. And I realized that I really, _really_ can’t lose you.” Her voice was so small, yet so impossibly sincere. 

I reached down, pulling a blanket to fully cover the two of us. Chae sighed shakily from the welcome warmth, nuzzling further against me, “It didn’t bite me. I’m still here.” I told her firmly, tucking the blanket beneath her other side so we were fully cocooned. 

She chuckled sleepily, “We’re a burrito.” 

I laughed along with her, but by that point I was just slap happy, “We’re exhausted.” 

She scoffed weakly, “Ahhh, speak for yourself, I’m... not...” She never finished that sentence, the fatigue catching up enough for her to finally doze off. Her eyelids fluttered closed and her breaths grew even. It didn’t take long for sleep to overtake me too. 

I couldn’t lose her, either. But knowing the feeling was mutual was enough to make my heart swell.

* * *

_**Jinsol** _

After raiding a closet, I swapped my blood stained tank top for a soft, nice-smelling long-sleeve. It was warm on its own, but... I didn’t have it in me to take off Jungeun’s coat. Even though it was also stained and worn, it was hers. Despite what I kept saying to people and the reassurances I endlessly spouted, I was worried too. Of _course_ I was. If something happened to Jungeun... at least I’d still have this coat. A part of her. 

I shook my head back and forth, not liking the way my eyes started stinging from my thoughts. Now wasn’t the time to lose it. We were safe, we’d survived some serious shit, and we’d lost a huge chunk of our group with no real way of getting back to them. I was distraught, sure, but compared to some of the others - who had even closer bonds with the missing girls? I was a goddamn pillar of strength and composure. I’d helped Haseul as best as I could, and evidently it did something because she was actually bopping around the house and checking up on people’s medical statuses now.

I’d settled in the living room. Hyunjin was laying out sheets on a couch, prepping a makeshift bed for whoever wanted it. Jiwoo sat stiffly in a nearby armchair while Haseul fitted her wrist with a proper splint. I watched her work, hugging the sides of Jungeun’s jacket closer to myself. Jiwoo kept a stiff upper lip, sniffling weakly only once through the entire treatment. Once Haseul was done, she gently brushed her thumb along Jiwoo’s cheek with a soft smile before being called out of the room by Hyunjin for something.

Jiwoo sat, seemingly too wrapped up in her own thoughts to even acknowledge that I was there with her. I watched as she unzipped her guitar bag, tugging the instrument out onto her lap. Her eyes grew increasingly glossy as she traced her fingers along the wood, which was when a deep instinct pulled me straight from my seat to kneel in front of her on the floor. 

“Hey, hey, uh-- um, is Lucille okay?” I asked as gently as I could. I just didn’t want to see her cry. 

She blinked rapidly, doing her best to keep her composure, “This isn’t Lucille. I lost her.” That explanation was spoken so plainly, but it was impossible not to see the pain so visible on her face. 

My eyes widened for a moment before I could contain the reaction, “Oh.” It wouldn’t do her any good to retell whatever story was behind that, despite my slight curiosity. “Well, is your guitar okay?”

She sighed shakily, strumming weakly at the strings with her good hand, “I-It’s okay. A bit dinged up here and there, but... okay.” A sad smile graced her features, those tears clinging to her eyelashes now, “Sooyoung got this for me. Risked her life for it, the dumbass...” 

I nodded slowly, remembering back in the warehouse when I’d talked to her to distract from the issues at hand. I wondered if now was the time to try and do that again, but now it seemed like she actually _wanted_ to talk things through. Like it would help her process everything. I would give her whatever she needed. I just didn’t want to see her cry. 

She took a deep breath, tentatively gripping her new splint, “I’m... I... goddamn it.” She cursed under her breath, unable to match my gaze.   
  


“What? You’re what?” I reached closer and loosely clasped both of her hands, making sure to be incredibly cautious with her wounded one. She shouldn’t keep all this in. Even if it was hard or overwhelming to think about, even if she wanted to distract herself, that wasn’t helpful in the long run. This was reality, and we were in it, no matter how hard it was. 

“I’m _so_ fucking worried about Sooyoung I-I feel like I can’t even breathe...” She muttered to me softly, daring to meet my eyes for a fleeting moment before staring back down at the floor. It was almost as if she was ashamed to admit that, but she had every right to be worried.

I cared about Sooyoung too, of course. I cared about everyone who was with us. I mean... yeah, Sooyoung and I had um... “bonded,” but there were no deeper feelings there. Not like the blatant connection she had with Jiwoo - something that anyone with eyes could’ve been able to see. Sooyoung and I’s uh, interaction, was almost more of a business exchange than anything else. I did care about her though. The fact that she’d even been willing to help me out like she had back then was significant enough all on its own, and I was genuinely grateful.

“I think I love her.” Jiwoo whispered so quietly I almost thought I’d misheard her, the rain pattering against the window and the rolling thunder from outside nearly drowning out the timid confession. 

I brushed my thumb along the back of her hand, noting the way her entire body had started to tremble. “Yeah?” More than anything, I think she just needed someone to listen to her as she thought out loud. I could do that.

She sniffled again, her brow crinkling up. “I-I don’t know, I-I’ve never felt this much for anyone before... I’ve never been in love either but, I-I think this is what it feels like.” Her tone was hard to read. There was a lingering uncertainty there, but she sounded so intensely sincere as well. 

I wished I could help her to better sort through her emotions, but if I was being entirely honest, I wasn’t actually as good with these things as I liked to think. I took a slow breath, feeling like I had to handle this as delicately as I could. Jiwoo was a strong girl, there was no doubt about that - she’d endured more than anyone should ever have to, but she was coming apart, just trying to get a grip on herself. “I catch feelings really fast, but I don’t think I’ve ever been in love. So, I’m not sure what to tell you...”

A sole tear rolled down her cheek and she pulled one of her hands from my grip, wiping at her cheek before I had the chance to, “Jinsol, I-I don’t even know if she’s alive.”

She needed reassurance, hope. Normally that sort of thing was left to Yerim, but after the entire mall ordeal and the girl scout’s very prominent absence, someone else sort of needed to take on the optimist role. It was hard for me. In reality, I was more of a realist than anything, but these girls needed someone to at least try to bring some brightness to their mindsets. “Hey... she’s strong, she’s resourceful, and she’s stubborn as a bull. If anyone could’ve found their way out of that mall, it’s Sooyoung. Right?”

She whimpered weakly, sounding as if she’d swallowed down an encroaching sob, “I guess...” All of her breaths were getting sharper and uneven. “I-I don’t know what to--”

“--It’s okay. Shh.” I intertwined our fingers. 

My words seemed utterly ineffective. I didn’t blame her. This was overwhelmingly terrible. Two of the most important people left in her life were unaccounted for and potentially in life-threatening danger. I just wished I could _help_ somehow. “A-And Jungeun-- fuck, _Jungeun--”_

“I know...” She definitely didn’t have to remind me about Jungeun’s absence. I was potently aware of it. I remembered when she’d called out my name from that upper floor while we were being chased by that horde, how my heart had skipped a beat, and how it’d sunk all over again when we’d had to separate yet again. If I felt that terrible, I didn’t even want to imagine how hard it must’ve been for Jiwoo.

“I-I didn’t hug her tight enough in the warehouse, _why_ didn’t I hug her longer, now I-I might never fucking see her again a-and she’s my _best_ _friend_ , Jinsol, I-I-I--” She was breaking down completely. 

I scooted closer, wanting her to look at me and believe me, “You’re going to see her again. _Both_ of them, we’ll find them and we’ll--”

“--We don’t even know if the island’s safe, it could’ve been--”

“-- _Shh_ , no.” I spoke up adamantly. None of that. That was a downward spiral that you couldn’t climb out of. “What we _aren’t_ gonna do is discount the one real hope we have.” She faltered from how assertive my voice was, rattled by it, “Okay? We just aren’t.” 

She sniffled again, another tear leaving her. That time I wiped it away, and she held my hand against her cheek, “I’m... I’m just _scared_.” That statement was so simple, but something in the way she said it made my heart wrench. 

“We all are, sweetie. We’re all scared and worried and exhausted, but we’re alive, and all we can do is hope that the others are too. We made it out, so who’s to say they didn’t...?” She didn’t answer me, instead just staring deeply into my eyes. It was like she was trying to see if I was lying to her. I genuinely wasn’t sure I was telling the whole truth - if I believed what I was telling her. A part of me did. A part of me didn’t. But Jiwoo didn’t need to hear that part right now. I sighed lightly, “Look. You’re exhausted, sweetie. How about you go to bed?” I looked over my shoulder, at the couch Hyunjin had prepared with sheets and a soft blanket. “Looks comfy, huh?”

Jiwoo sighed, “I... yeah. I’ll just... sleep.” It seemed more like she was admitting defeat rather than actually wanting to rest. The poor thing. She moved to that couch and sat on its edge, burying her face into her hands. 

“Do you want me to stay with you...?” I asked gently. She still looked just about ready to break apart. All she did was shake her head. I wasn’t sure if she was being honest, but if she wanted to be left alone, I’d listen. “Okay. I’ll be in the other room. Just... please try and rest, Jiwoo-yah. You need it.” She didn’t say anything else, and I guess I didn’t really expect her to. All I could do was hope. Which wasn’t a lot, but it was all we had now. 

* * *

  
  


_**Hyunjin** _

Haseul sat at the dining room table, head in her hands. She’d been like that for almost an hour, having sat down after she’d more properly stitched Vivi’s shoulder up. The scientist had passed out shortly after the treatment and was dead asleep in one of the upstairs rooms, meanwhile Haseul had for some reason sat down at that table and not spoken a word since. Her fingers were buried deep in her hair and I knew she was still awake, you could tell from how incredibly tense her body was. 

I headed into the house’s semi-stocked kitchen. The stove was gas, so it still worked despite the loss of power. One of the cans that Kitae had put in that bag of supplies had been some sort of soup, I don’t remember. But it was food. After rooting around and finding a pot, I cooked it up and put it in a bowl with a spoon - bringing it out to Haseul and sliding it across the table to be right in front of her. 

She blinked at the steaming soup in confusion. I didn’t think it was rocket science, but either way I told her gently, “Eat. You need to.” 

Her brow furrowed and she nudged it away, “I don’t have much of an appetite--”   
  


I shoved it right back toward her, pushing it so far toward the edge of the table that she needed to stop the bowl with her hands so it wouldn’t spill onto her lap, “Don’t pull that shit with me, Haseul. Come on. Eat, it’s warm. I had a bite. It’s good, promise.” I stared her down, showing her through my eyes that I really wasn’t going to take no for an answer. 

She sighed in defeat, lifting a spoonful of it into her mouth. I sat at her side, asking a question wordlessly by raising my eyebrow. “It’s good, you’re right...” I didn’t need to influence her any further, instead just watching silently as she slowly ate. I’d already gotten myself a snack earlier and doled a few out to the others - Haseul had just been too busy checking on people for me to feed her. 

I reached toward her wrist that rested on the table, daring to ghost my fingers along the stitches there. “You saved a lot of lives today.” 

She chuckled hollowly, swirling her soup around the bowl and staring down at the spiral, “Yeah, and look where it left us.” 

I got a bitter taste in her mouth. I hated when people didn’t give themselves enough credit. Especially in this case, when Haseul was somehow managing to make herself feel guilty or responsible for things entirely out of her control. I shifted my grip to tightly clasp her hand, the contact actually enough for her to look at me. 

“Stop that. You _have_ to stop that.” I scooted my chair closer, cupping her hand with both of mine. Our eye contact was short lived, ended on her behalf. 

“I... don’t know what you mean.” She whispered that quietly. Jiwoo and Jinsol were sleeping only one room away. She didn’t want to wake them, I guessed. Always so considerate. 

That wasn’t true, she just didn’t want to talk about it. “Stop blaming yourself for shit. If you’re responsible, then all of us are just as much. The chaos that we run into, the absolute shitshows we find ourselves in every day, we can’t prevent those. Not really. All we can do is try to get through it, which we did today. And we deal with the consequences, but we can’t blame ourselves for them.” 

Haseul took a long, shaky breath, shutting her eyes for a few moments and reaching to rub at her temple with her free hand. “I-I could’ve shot the guy who took Yeojin. I could’ve shot him. I could’ve grabbed onto Yerim before she stepped into the line of fire. Fuck, Hyunjin, i-it was _my idea_ to even go into that mall in the first place.” Her voice broke on her last word. “ _My_ idea is what got us all separated. And what do we even have to show for it? A bunch of serious injuries, and a bag of supplies we’ve already almost used up.” She covered her eyes from my view. I was worried they were glossy. “You shouldn’t listen to me. Nobody should listen to me, e-ever again, nobody--” 

“-- _Stop_. Literally what did I _just_ say?” I shook my head, “Haseul. You suggested the idea, but we all _agreed_ to it. And stop with the hindsight, it’ll drive you fucking crazy. Like... I do the same thing, okay? When I left Heejin at that restaurant, you bet your ass I picked apart every single thing I did and wondered what could’ve gone different. Yaknow what it helped?” I paused, not finishing my statement until she finally looked back at me. “Absolutely fucking nothing. Haseul, it’s... when you’re in moments like that, when you’re in the thick of it and you’re fighting for your life, you think you can choose what to do, but you can’t. Not really. Everything you’re doing is instinct, and you can’t control instinct - it just is what it is.” 

Haseul sat still for a few lingering moments, some of her composure returning despite the way her lip quivered, “I just... want everyone to be safe. That’s all I want, Hyunjin.” 

I brushed my thumb along her knuckles, “So do I. So do all of us. And honestly, the best way you can do that is to take care of yourself.” She shook her head weakly, so I doubled down, “You’re our nurse. You heal us and treat us and save our fucking asses. You sewed up Jinsol’s eye, you bandaged Yerim’s ear, you fixed Sooyoung’s big gash, you gave Jiwoo her splint, and you’re gonna keep saving us until we get to that island. If you’re not in your best shape, we might die too.” 

Haseul swallowed hard, running her hands down her face. A sharp roll of thunder shook the house and even I flinched from the volume, but Haseul was absolutely unfazed. “Fine... I’ll--” She started to get up, but I held her in place by her shoulder.

“--No. Stay here. Sit, finish eating. I’ll get you a fresh pair of clothes, and find you a place to sleep, okay?” I stood before receiving an answer. It was more of an explanation than a question, and it sure as hell wasn’t up for debate. 

She looked up at me with raw eyes, “I can take care of myself...”

“I know. But other people can take care of you too, if you let them.” I reached closer, gently resting my hand on her shoulder. She leaned slightly into the touch, pursing her lips. She had nothing else to say, and she didn’t protest. 

There was one more empty room upstairs. It had a queen sized bed, neaty made, seeming almost untouched. God did that look comfy. All the lingering pain in my muscles and joints seemed to throb just at the sight of it - begging for rest. Haseul first, though. This was a woman’s room. Jinsol had already raided the closet, but there was enough stuff left for Haseul. I wasn’t sure what she liked, so I took some guesses. I found her a nice fitting, olive-colored cable-knit sweater and some slacks. When I turned to head back downstairs, I wasn’t surprised to see her waiting in the hallway.

“Here,” I held the clothes out to her. She took them silently and ducked into a nearby bathroom to change. I waited, daring to let myself sit on the edge of the bed, but that was a damn near mistake cuz I doubted my ability to get up. 

Haseul came back a minute or so later, her hair also in a braid now instead of up in its usual ponytail. I shot her the best smile I could manage, which wasn’t much - not when I was so tired. She slowly walked over to the side of the bed and slid beneath the puffy down comforter, pulling it up to her chin but not shutting her eyes yet. I stood, heading to the door as I muttered a soft, “Goodnight.”

“Wait, where’re you going to sleep?” Her voice stopped me. 

I shrugged, “Somewhere.” 

She seemed confused. “Why not here? This bed is three times my size.” She patted the large space next to her. I still felt uncertain for some reason. She gave me a faint smile too, “It’s comfy, promise.” 

  
That was all the persuasion I needed. I kicked off my sneakers and slid into the bed at her side. Never in my life has it felt that good to just lay down, on a _bed_ , under _covers._ I was out as soon as I hit the pillow, and so was she. Good. We both needed it.


	30. Friendly Faces

**_Heejin_ **

I kept having to bat away cinders from the fire as they drifted toward me in the wind - landing atop my notepad I had rested in my lap. The warmth was welcome. I tried to focus on that, letting my mind revolve around drawing instead of dwelling on everything else threatening to creep back to the forefront. It’d been an entire day, but it hadn’t left my brain for a second: the image of Hoseok’s skull shattering beneath my bat seemed permanently printed on the back of my eyelids. I just wanted to forget. That was all I wanted - to forget it’d happened. To forget I’d done it. I couldn’t think about it. Not directly. Something deep in me wouldn’t even let myself. 

“It looks like it’s gonna rain.” Nayoung spoke up weakly from the opposite side of the fire. It was sort of jarring. Neither of us had said a word in what must’ve been more than half a day. Her voice was almost enough to comfort me. Almost. I glanced at her for a moment, then up at the sky. Dark clouds blocked out the stars. I didn’t care if it rained, but I didn’t bother saying so. I didn’t feel like talking. I hadn’t, not since...

“What’re you drawing?” Nayoung asked softly. I didn’t answer, focusing on my pencil’s path. I was doing the eyes. I was bad at eyes, I had to pay attention. It was helping me not to think about... what I’d done. Which was all I could really hope to do. 

Nayoung sighed ever so slightly before scooting around the fire to be at my side, “Whoa.” Her head tilted, “That’s _really_ good.” I felt my face flush. I’d never quite known how to accept compliments, especially about my art. “Is this what you were in school for?” She spoke so quietly the crackling fire almost drowned her out. I nodded. She didn’t fault me my continued silence, instead reaching to wrap her arm loosely around my waist. “I can tell.” 

The sky lit up suddenly from a lightning strike in the distance, and after only a moment, a sharp clap of thunder shook the earth. My body tensed up even further and Nayoung felt it, tugging me closer against her. “Yeah, it’s definitely gonna storm...” She looked toward the cabin we’d stumbled upon a few hours earlier. It was locked up tight, and we’d opted to just camp outside instead of bothering. She placed a gentle, barely there peck on the side of my head before getting to her feet and approaching that door again. “I might have to chop this down.” She hefted her axe, ready to swing. 

“The noise--” I spoke up, my voice strained slightly from lack of use. 

Nayoung was startled by me speaking and looked over her shoulder, “I don’t hear anything nearby. It should be fine... the thunder might actually help mask any sound, too.”

"Oh." A droplet of rain landed upon the page and I gasped weakly, shielding the surface with my free hand. Nayoung noticed and raised her axe, bringing it hard against the wood near the doorknob. It was noisy, but just as it made contact there was another clap of thunder to mask it. I felt relatively safe. Nayoung always made me feel safe, regardless. After a few strikes, she’d chopped the knob out of the door altogether. 

“There we go...” She pressed her hand against the wood and it opened wide, revealing the interior of some sort of hunting cabin. It wasn’t much, but it’d provide shelter from the storm, and that was all we could ask for. “You done with that drawing yet? I think we should head inside...” She stomped out our pitiful fire that had already started to dwindle from the raindrops. “C’mon honey, don’t want your paper getting wet.” She extended her hand down to me and I took it, letting her pull me to my feet. 

It was musty in here. No lights, either. “One sec.” Nayoung snatched a box of matches from the mantle of a small fireplace, and didn’t hesitate to set the kindling aflame. It took a minute or two for it to light completely, but once it did, a warm light spread throughout the cabin. Nayoung kicked a small ottoman in front of the fire and gestured for me to sit. I did. The light was just enough for me to finish my sketch. I nearly felt myself relaxing, calmed by the sound of rain against the roof and Nayoung puttering around.

“Hey, Heejin-ah,” Nayoung spoke again a few minutes later. I didn’t look at her, but listened, “You’re gonna need a new weapon. I don’t like you being unarmed...” I’d left the bat. I couldn’t bear to hold it anymore, after everything. Hell, I could barely look at my hands. I’d scrubbed them nearly raw in a river we’d passed, hating all the blood that’d stained my skin. “Here. Take this, we can match.” She moved to my side, showing me a stout axe with a rather dull blade. “It’s a woodcutter’s axe. I bet there’s something to sharpen it here... I’ll handle that. Okay? You just finish your-- whoa.” She stopped mid-sentence when she looked back at my pad. “Wait, is that me?” I’d worked more on the face, so she could see the details now. 

I damn near shut the pad closed, the scrutiny making my cheeks burn all over again. “Um... yeah. I-It’s not done--” 

“--It’s amazing.” She complimented me sweetly, not even an ounce of dishonesty in her voice. I blushed even worse, feeling the heat spread to my neck. Her head tilted slightly, eyes narrowing, “I feel like something’s missing, though...”

I felt like something was missing, too. I’d felt like something had been missing ever since we lost them. Ever since they left us. It was impossible not to imagine how things would’ve gone if someone who should’ve been there, had been. It was always in the back of your head. How could I forget, when I literally still wore the sweatshirt he’d given me? When Nayoung would occasionally wipe a stray tear from her cheek in silence, because she must’ve thought of the wrong thing and remembered that her two closest friends had both died days apart from one another?

I just nodded, reaching up to gently brush my thumb along her cheek. She smiled, patting my hand, “I’ll find something to sharpen this for you. Just... sit here and stay warm, alright? Rest?” She continued her search, probably not assuming I’d actually adjust my sketch, but she was wrong. 

It took a while. A solid half hour or so. I wanted it to be just right. Nayoung sharpened my new axe while I drew, diligently preparing the blade for me. 

It was only once I’d finished that I second-guessed what I’d done. Was this out of line...? Was this just going to bring bittersweet memories to mind that would do more harm than good? I cared about these people, of course I did. They’d both saved my life before. But Nayoung really _knew_ them, been close to them, spent time with them. Losing them had permanently changed her, and it was still such a recent loss, all things considered. I spent so long staring at the drawing in intense uncertainty that I didn’t even notice Nayoung approaching me again to give me that axe. 

“Here, now it’s--” Her words trailed off sharply. Oh no. She saw the drawing. I clutched my notepad against my chest, hiding it too late. I tried to read her expression but I couldn’t. If anything, she just looked... shocked. Stunned into silence. She stared at my notepad still, despite not being able to see what I’d drawn.

Finally, after long, dragging minutes where the tension made me feel as if I couldn’t move, I decided it was a mistake. “I’m sorry, Nayoung-ah, I-I just thought--” 

“--Sorry?” Her voice broke and was strained. Oh no, no no. I didn’t want to make her upset. That was the absolute last thing I’d ever want to do. Her eyes were glossy.

“Please don’t cry, I-I didn’t mean to--”

“Can I see?” She asked me gently, tears clinging to her eyelashes. I couldn’t read her tone. But... if she really wanted to... 

I handed her my notepad an she looked more closely at what I’d drawn. I’d added Jinseok, ruffling the top of Nayoung’s hair, and Doyeon, linking her arm with Nayoung’s. They were all smiling broadly. Happy. Happier than I’d actually ever seen any of them, in all honesty, but I liked to imagine that they had been that happy once. That if things had been different, they’d all be here with us in this cabin right now, cheering Nayoung and I up and making us laugh. But they weren’t. In actuality, we were alone, and we only had each other. Sometimes, imagining things was fun. Other times, it just made it hurt harder to face reality. 

Nayoung smiled, a sad, small thing, but it was a smile. Tears started streaming down her cheeks and dripping from her jaw. 

“No, no, don’t-- I’m so sorry.” I moved to shut my notepad, but she thrust her hand forward to stop me. Instead, she gently, delicately tore the page loose and held it tight against her heart. 

“Stop apologizing...” She told me in a tearful whisper. She chuckled weakly and pulled me to her, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. “I love it.” She sighed, cradling the back of my head, “They... never got to meet. I always tried to arrange it, but their schedules never lined up... they would’ve loved each other just as much as I loved the both of them.” She looked down at the sketch again, gently tracing her thumb along it. “This is the next best thing. I-I... don’t even know how to thank you, I--”

“--you don’t have to thank me at all.” I spoke to her softly and slowly, wanting her to hear every word. Instead, I gently took the sketch from her hand and folded it up, before clutching her hand to wrap her fingers around the paper. “It’s yours. Keep it.” 

She let out another happy, tearful laugh, trying to compose herself with a sniffle. “God, you’re really an angel, aren’t you?” She tilted her head, “How the hell are you making me smile like this? After everything?” I shrugged. “God, you’re so humble, it’s annoying.” She shook her head, wiping her tears away with the heel of her hand. She tucked my drawing into a small pocket on her shirt. “I’m gonna keep this forever, you know. And when we get to the island, I’m gonna frame it.” 

I chuckled along with her that time, not even having realized how much I was blushing, “You do that. Frame my wrinkled up piece of shitty notebook paper.” 

She shook her head at me, “Shut up, jeez... thank you. Thank you, thank you, a thousand times thank you...” She wiped what was left of her tears away. “I’m uh... I’m gonna keep watch. You don’t have to go to bed yet if you don’t want. Just... keep drawing, or something, I dunno...” She sighed weakly, moving toward the open door and peering out at the woods in view. I smiled after her, a lightness to my chest that I hadn’t expected to feel for weeks to come. 

But I was drawn right back to survival mode when Nayoung suddenly spoke up all over again, “Heejin? Grab your axe.” She herself wielded her own, now. 

“Why?” I stood from the ottoman and walked closer, making sure to pick up my axe along the way. 

Nayoung clutched her weapon tighter, even raising it slightly, “Because I think I just saw someone in the woods.” 

* * *

  
  


**_Yerim_ **

When I opened my eyes, I was staring into darkness. The only light was a deep, burning orange that flickered ominously. It was cold. My vision was patchy and blurred. I tried to sit up, only for someone to gently hold me down. This didn’t make any sense. I was so confused. A deep, low rumbling made my entire body tense up. What was that? My chest was tight from fear. I couldn’t see, I didn’t know where I was, I didn’t know who was with me, and my head hurt worse than I’d ever felt anything hurt before. 

I hissed through my teeth, gasping slightly in pain, “Am I... dead?” 

“No, no, honey, y-you’re fine.” A familiar, welcome voice spoke from my side. I blinked hard, and my vision cleared up enough for me to realize who was in front of me. Sooyoung. It was Sooyoung. She tightly clasped both of my hands with her own, eyes glossy. The only reason I hadn’t recognized her voice as soon as she’d spoken was because of her tone. I’d never heard her sound so terrified yet relieved. All just to see me. 

“Where are we?” I asked her, my head still aching terribly. I blinked more, realizing that although it was dark, the surface above me was some sort of wood. I listened closely. That light must’ve been from a fire, I could hear it crackling. There was also rain. So that rumbling must’ve been thunder.

“Um... good question.” Sooyoung reached to my shoulder, and with her help, I slowly sat up. She supported my lower back, being intensely delicate and careful. The door to this small little... shack? Cabin? Place? - was open, revealing some wilderness and the rain that was pummelling the dirt. What had happened to the mall? 

I looked around and couldn’t help but jump at the sight of two girls I’d never seen before. One was perched daintily on a nearby chair, while the other stood ominously and wielded a large axe. Uh-oh. On instinct and after dealing with those men in the mall, I started to back away. I wasn’t in any state to fight, or even to run, not with my head hurting the way it was. 

Sooyoung held me to my spot, though - her voice gentle and soothing, “Hey, hey, whoa... it’s okay. They’re um, fine.” She said that, but she didn’t seem so sure. I understood why, the taller one looked pretty damn terrifying with that axe of hers that she held just a bit too readily. 

“Hi,” The one sitting down tried to get up and approach me, but her taller friend held out her axe’s handle and blocked her from doing so, “I’m Heejin.” She extended a small hand to me, but the taller girl once again blocked the way. That time Heejin brushed her off, instead getting out of her chair to kneel at my side. I reached closer and accepted the handshake. 

“Hi... I’m Yerim, a-and this is--” 

“--Sooyoung, yeah. We’ve been introduced.” The tall girl spoke up in a deeper voice, still not lowering that axe. Her tone wasn’t necessarily hostile, just... cautious. I understood that, I was cautious around strangers now too. Heejin didn’t appreciate her standoffishness though and shot her a glare. It took a few lingering seconds, but that huge axe was finally lowered, and even set down on a nearby table. “I’m Nayoung.” 

I turned my head back to Sooyoung and grimaced from the motion, a pang of agony shooting through the side of my head. On sheer instinct along I reached up to the source of the pain - my ear - only to feel nothing. “Wh--?” My next breath got caught in my throat. Huh?? “Uhh? Where did my ear go?” I swiped my hand where I felt it should be, but there was nothing. Just air. So _that_ was why it was so odd and disorienting. The sounds of things hadn’t really been making sense, people seemed like they were further than they were in reality, and it was all a bit muffled. I thought it was just something from still waking up

Sooyoung ran her thumb along the back of my hand that she still held with a death grip, “You don’t remember?” She spoke so softly. It was unlike her, at least from what I’d seen, but it was a nice change. 

I thought hard. It was sort of hard to focus - I was still a bit too rattled by yaknow, suddenly missing an ear. “I remember um... everyone was fighting, and I tried to calm people down, and uh, you kind of... snapped at me.” Sooyoung’s face fell at the mentioning of that.

“Right, um... well, one of the prisoners shot you.” Sooyoung told me matter-of-factly. That explained it. 

Nayoung winced, her eyes going wide, “ _Yikes_.” She squatted down besides Heejin, looking closer at where my ear used to be. I’d felt a bandage there. Must’ve been Haseul. Always taking care of me. 

I blinked, silent for a few moments. Honestly, it was hard to process. Ears were important. Most people had two of them. Now I only had one. I could still hear, though, so that was good. I did my best to view this positively. I still had one perfectly intact ear, I was alive, safe, with Sooyoung, and we’d just met two more people who seemed pretty nice. All good things. Plus, Sooyoung was holding my hand and hadn’t let it go since I woke up, which was really sweet of her. At the thought, I squeezed her fingers. She squeezed me right back, scooting closer to me on the floor. 

“I’m sorry.” Heejin told me softly, her voice sadder than it needed to be. Her head tilted as she deliberately tried to change the topic, “Are you... a girl scout?” She glanced down at my uniform and sash. 

I nodded readily at her, the motion of my head still hurting ever so slightly. “Yes! That’s me! I was a troop leader, actually!” Her eyes were lingering on my various badges, which was normal. I mean, they were so bright and colorful. Then I noticed the way she glanced toward Sooyoung’s chest, which still bore the pin I’d given her for “Best Driver” ages ago. “That’s just a badge I gave her, do you want one? I can make you one!” I pulled a blank badge from my pocket, glad I’d kept a few extra.

Heejin seemed pleasantly surprised, shooting me a pretty smile, “Oh, um... if you’d want, I guess?” 

Nayoung interjected, “Make it ‘most talented artist.’”

“Oh! You’re an artist?” I asked, genuinely curious. 

Heejin blinked at me, seeming caught off guard by the question, “I-- no, I’m just--”

“--incredibly talented.” Nayoung wouldn’t let Heejin finish. She seemed really adamant about this, so I was inclined to believe her despite Heejin’s protests. I think she was just being humble. “Here, look at this:” Nayoung pulled something from the pocket of her tight fitting t-shirt. It was a small sheet of notebook paper, with an incredibly impressive sketch of what looked like Nayoung and two others. “She did this in like, twenty minutes. Look at that! We’ve got the next Picasso over here.” 

I nodded in agreement. The pain was dulling the longer I was awake, and I was sort of getting used to it, but jeez. The spot where my ear used to be still hurt like hell. “That’s amazing, Heejin! Do you have any pens in here, I can make you the badge right now!” 

Sooyoung sighed lightly, “Let’s relax a bit, Yerim. Okay?” She brushed her thumb along the back of my hand, “It’s nice to meet you guys. We’ve just been through hell.” 

“Nice to meet you, too.” Nayoung spoke in her steady, confident tone. “Sorry for being so intense. We’ve um...” She looked toward Heejin, whose face fell all of a sudden. “We’ve just been through some shit too. With people we thought we could trust. So... kinda wary of strangers.”

“That’s okay,” I reassured her instantly, “It’s safe to be cautious. People can be uh... mean. Which I wish they weren’t. You don’t have to worry about us, though! Girl Scout Law Code #10 - a girl scout is pure in thought, in words and in deeds.” 

Sooyoung nodded along with what I said, instead of scolding me like she had for reciting my rules back in the mall. Heejin and Nayoung both seemed sort of confused by the comment but didn’t ask. “Um... so, I don’t know about you two, but I think we should all rest, maybe. Talk more in the morning. If that’s alright? I don’t want to impose, I-I mean, this is your spot--” 

“--You can stay.” Heejin didn’t even let Sooyoung finish the disclaimer, “It might be a bit cramped, but you’re welcome here. We can figure things out in the morning. Yerim, you should try and sleep.” 

“I’ll keep watch,” Sooyoung and Nayoung both spoke in unison, looking at each other. 

“Jinx!” I chuckled, my optimism just glad to be alive in the first place. Of course I was tired. I mean, presumably I’d been knocked unconscious, but it didn’t at all feel like I’d slept, just that a chunk of time was missing from me. 

Nayoung insisted politely, “ _I’ll_ keep watch. Like you said, you’ve been through hell today. I went through hell yesterday. So... I’ve got a bit more stamina, yeah?” She moved to a single twin bed in this tiny cabin and stripped it of its sheets, instead laying them on the floor for a bit of a cushion. “Yerim, you take the bed. Someone might be able to fit on it with you...” 

“Heejin could.” I suggested as Sooyoung helped me to my feet, “C’mon, it’ll be like a slumber party or something!” 

Heejin didn’t protest, but kept a respectable distance from me all throughout the night. Or at least I think she did. I fell asleep almost immediately, so I wasn’t sure. Either way, I already liked these girls. And I was glad we’d found them. 


	31. Grow Up

_**Yeojin** _

I was woken up by a water droplet landing right on my forehead. I was having a fuckass nightmare about drowning cuz I never _really_ learned how to swim, so the whole water thing was far from the way I wanted to get up. I shot upward way too fast, looking around and gripping my bat with both hands. 

_Why the fuck am I in an attic?_ I thought, rubbing the back of my head that hurt from the jutted out nail I’d apparently slept on. Jesus Christ. I’d forgotten what happened last night for a few seconds. I was alone up here. Jungeun was nowhere in sight. Had that bitch abandoned me?!?! Oh _hell_ no, I was _not_ gonna starve to death in this leaky fucking attic. Grumbling every swear I knew under my breath, I dragged myself slowly to my feet--

\--only for a familiar face to poke its head up from the open hatch. Oh. It was Jungeun. She hoisted herself up the rest of the way into the attic, groaning subtly. Dramatic. I watched as she crawled awkwardly over toward a nearby soggy box and used it as support to lean against. There was a grimey first aid kit tucked beneath her arm, and she set it on the floor next to her, rooting through its contents. 

“Why’re you standing up?” She asked me, her eyes lidded and her skin pale. Zoinks. She looked rough. 

I sat back down slowly, feeling judged, “I thought you left me here.” 

She scoffed, but didn’t really address my fear at all besides that. Alright, whatever. I flinched again when another raindrop hit the tip of my nose. The goddamned roof was leaking. I glanced down at my blood splattered, grubby clothes and was unsurprised to now find them just damp enough to be uncomfortable and sticky. It was still pouring. This shitty shack was being swayed back and forth from the winds. Jesus Christ, first we get separated from all the others and now there’s a fucking hurricane?? I mean, it was thematically fitting, but I didn’t appreciate it. 

I watched as Jungeun lifted up the hem of her shirt, hiking it around her ribs and tying it in a loose knot so it’d stay that way. And oh my god, I almost puked. The spot where she’d got stabbed was _gross_. Like, _ew_. It was just a straight up _hole_ , like it was thin, sure, but _fucking_ ** _ew_** _._ I gagged, covering my mouth so I didn’t literally vomit all over the floor like last night. 

“If you puke right now I’ll throw you out that fucking window.” Jungeun told me firmly, gesturing toward the glass panes to our right. 

I took that threat seriously, but didn’t appreciate the sentiment. “Um, I wasn’t gonna puke. Rude. I was gagging at the thought of Hansol stabbing you, and the degradation of human morality in this apocalypse.” She looked at me for a few lingering moments, before rolling her eyes so hard I was surprised they didn’t get lost in the back of her head. 

“Can you not? For a minute? I need to focus.” She tugged a little string and a needle from the box, trying to tie it through the little needle-hole-thing. It was agonizing to watch. I let her try for solid thirty seconds, but her hands were shaking way too much. It was a lost cause. 

Groaning in frustration, I snatched them out of her grip, “Gimme that, god.” She half-heartedly tried to take it back, but I wouldn’t let her - slapping her away. I steadied my hand and got the damned thread through the needle, carefully handing it back to her. “What’re you even gonna do, knit it shut?” 

She let out a long, drawn out sigh of frustration, “I’m gonna _stitch_ it shut, dumbass...” She was clearly pissed at me, which I was used to, but it was also easy to tell she was uncertain and scared. 

Now I was too. “You’re gonna _what_ now?! Bitch you’re not a doctor!! You’re not even a nurse! Don’t fuckin--” She brought the needle closer to her wound and I lunged forward, catching her wrist, “Ah!! Stop! That is a _stab wound_ , you are _not_ stitching-trained!! Cease!!” 

“Get _off_.” She pushed me from her, “I have to close the wound, or it’ll get infected. If it isn’t already...” She mumbled that last part under her breath. Sweat was dotting her brow, which didn’t make much sense since it was fucking cold in here. “That is, assuming it didn’t rupture anything.” 

I blinked at her a few times, “Everything you’re saying is really stressing me out.” 

She chuckled bitterly, “How do you think I feel?” The needle moved toward her wound again and I couldn’t keep back my instinctive intervention as I latched onto her hand. “Will you cut it out?!” She snapped. 

“No! You shouldn’t be giving yourself stitches, you’re shakier than a fuckin’ milkshake right now!!” 

We were literally pulling on either side of the needle, both trying to tug it from the other, “Well who’s gonna do it then, huh? You?”

I faltered from the suggestion, my stomach doing a little flip. I mean, I didn’t _want_ to do it, and I sure as shit didn’t know how, but at least I could actually keep myself steady for more than two seconds. She’d paused from what she’d said, too, probably giving it a second of genuine consideration. Oh boy. 

* * *

_**Jungeun** _

“Just... fuck, fine.” I sighed, shoving the threaded needle into the young girl’s hand, regretting every single decision I’d made in my entire life that led me to that moment. “Hold on.” Before she could go stabbing at me, I reached into the grimey first aid kit I’d found in the disgusting bathroom and grabbed what must’ve been the only remotely clean thing inside it: a single alcohol swab. I cleaned the needle and hissed through my teeth as I ran the disinfecting liquid gently along the edges of the wound. God, I’d gotten hurt a lot in my life, but this was definitely the worst pain I’d ever felt. 

“The needle wasn’t even _clean_??” Yeojin blurted out. Why did she always have to yell? “Are you literally fucking crazy?!” 

“No, shut up. C’mon, if you’re gonna do this I want you to do it quick. It’s gonna hurt like a motherfucker.” I tried to stay tough, tried to brace myself, but how the hell was I expected to do that? 

Yeojin scoffed, “You want me to try and stitch up your stab wound ‘quick,’ when I’ve never done anything like this before? Great, sounds like a solid plan--”

“--it’s not rocket science, moron. You slide the needle in one side, pull it out the other, and tug the skin back together. Just don’t push the needle too deep and don’t throw up, that’s really all there is to it.” I was simplifying it for her benefit. If I emphasized all the ways this could go wrong, she might lose her nerve, and if I was being realistic, I was too shaky to safely do it myself. 

Yeojin shrugged, cracking her knuckles on one hand. God, this bravado was absolutely ridiculous, but I swallowed down the insults that nearly burst from me at her untimely antics. “I mean, if Jinsol could sew up Haseul’s wrist, I can probably knit your side shut.” 

I let out a long sigh of pure aggravation and frustration, “ _Please_ stop calling it knitting. This is a medical procedure.” 

“Medical knitting--” 

“-- _Stop it_.” I couldn’t believe, _literally_ couldn’t believe that a girl who couldn’t have been older than fifteen was about to suture a potentially life-threatening wound, and she kept acting like she was knitting a fucking scarf. It felt like I was losing my mind. “Just fucking get it over with already.” I held my breath in dreadful anticipation, watching her edge that needle closer at an agonizing snail’s pace until I finally felt the need to interject. “What the fuck are you waiting for?” I snapped at her. 

“Trying to find the right angle to go at it. Maybe I can like... catch it by surprise, yaknow? Then just zhoop, knit it up lickity split.” 

She was gonna kill me. 

“Yeojin. If you’re joking about this right now, I will actually kick your ass so hard you’re two inches shorter.” It was impossible to keep my genuine mounting anger from my voice, and she didn’t miss it. 

Yeojin blinked dumbly at me, “I-I can’t lose two more inches. I’m already so short, Jungeun.” In any other circumstances I would’ve laughed at the sincere fear behind her tone, but now was absolutely not the time.

“Then fucking _stitch this up_ \-- **_fuck_** \-- **!** ” I couldn’t keep back the curse I shouted when a sharp sting of pain poked straight at my wound, recoiling instinctively and jolting back against the box. _Shit_ that _hurt_. 

Yeojin looked at me, confused, “Um? Rude? You’ve gotta stay still.” 

“You just fucking jabbed the needle into my skin!!” I shouted, not caring about my volume anymore. A roll of low thunder shook the small shack we’d sheltered in. Fitting.

“That’s what you said to do!!” Yeojin adamantly defended herself. 

“Don’t stab it _in,_ you do it like-- like sideways!! _Through_ , not _into!_ Fucking basic, entry level common sense to being a human being, Yeojin!! Jesus fucking Christ, you’re unbelievable.” 

Yeojin was utterly unfazed by what I was saying, “And I’m all you’ve got, too, so perhaps you should be a bit more polite to your nurse.” 

I scoffed, tensing my whole body to near stone as I watched that needle edging closer again, “You’re _not_ a fucking nurse, you’re probably the furthest thing in the _world_ from a nurse right now--” I winced sharply, feeling the needle _very_ potently as it slid through my skin again, but at least she didn’t try to stab me. This still hurt like a _bitch_ , but it was about the amount of pain I’d initially expected, and I could cope with it if I had to.

Yeojin made a quiet _tsk_ -ing sound with her mouth, “I disagree, I’m related directly to a nurse so I basically am one by association...” She stuck her tongue out slightly, narrowing her eyes. If that was her way of trying to show me she was focusing, I sort of appreciated it despite how unnecessarily cartoonish it was. “Oh, this is easy. Why didn’t you tell me to do it this way in the first place?” She asked me that genuinely, and my blood nearly boiled. I swallowed that anger down and focused on staying still, not wanting this to go horribly wrong despite just how possible that was. 

I decided against refuting her logic. There was no point, she was a lost cause. I held my breath, watching with bated breath as she dragged that needle back and forth - only cursing from the pain once or twice more to cope. The stupid kid even started humming some fucking song I couldn’t place, but if it was helping her stay focused, I didn’t care. 

“What the fuck are you humming right now?” I finally asked, wanting to get my mind on anything besides the needle she was dragging through me. 

  
“The Grey’s Anatomy theme.” She told me simply. I genuinely wondered if I’d passed out from blood loss and this was a nightmarish stress dream. Finally, after what felt like hours, she stopped still and looked up at me, “Have any scissies?” 

Was she actually serious? “‘Scissies?’” 

She rolled her eyes, as if _she_ was annoyed with _me_ , “Sciss-ors. Jeez. Whatever, I’ll just use this--” She whipped out the knife she’d found the day before at the mall, and I did my best to refrain from flinching when I saw her wielding a weapon like that. She carefully used the blade to sever the thread. “There! You are all set. Knitted up all nice.” 

I let out a long, much needed breath, letting myself look down at what she’d done for the first time. It actually wasn’t unacceptable. The wound was practically shut, and the thread would stay - at least until we could get better help from somewhere else. It was a hollow hope to cling to, but it was kind of all that I had. 

“Great.” I muttered blandly, moving to push my shirt back down. The wound was closed, but it didn’t mean that I hadn’t lost a fuck ton of blood and that I wasn’t absolutely exhausted. Regardless, we couldn’t stay here. “Are you all set? We should get moving.” Using more of my strength than I should’ve needed to, I dragged myself to my feet. 

Yeojin hopped into a standing position as well, “You bet. C’mon let’s go find my sister and your girlfriend.” Yeojin commented flippantly as she headed toward the attic’s ladder. 

It made me falter, “Girlfriend--? Wha-- who?!” 

Yeojin just shot me a knowing wink, before ominously descending down that ladder like a demon crawling back to hell. I was blushing. Why the fuck was I blushing?! Goddamn it. And why the hell did I want to know just who she was referring to so badly? 

After searching the small, creepy drug den of a shack for anything even remotely resembling an umbrella and coming up short, we just had to face the facts here. It was raining, and we were gonna have to walk in it. Of course. Why not? Like honestly, with the days we’d been having, I wasn’t sure why I was even surprised. I was convinced luck was a myth at this point. 

“Stop sulking.” Yeojin scolded me firmly as we geared up to head out the front door. There wasn’t much to prepare. I had an empty rifle, a knife, and an eerily light backpack, and that was it. There were some professional grade painkillers in the medicine cabinet too, which I was pretty convinced weren’t legally prescribed, but I didn’t hesitate in taking a few. I’d fucking need it. 

“Sulking?” I was genuinely wondering if I’d be able to keep my temper in place with this girl. It was getting thin already, but no matter how much I scolded her she seemed utterly unfazed. “I’m not.” 

Yeojin shook her head, “You are. If Yerim was here, she’d be having none of this. I’m trying to channel her.” 

“Well, Yerim _isn’t_ here.” I told her harshly. She needed to be realistic and stop acting like such a kid. Which was lame, and I knew it was lame - I mean, she _was_ a kid, but she couldn’t afford to act like one anymore. “It’s just us. You and me, like it or not, until we get back to the others.” 

Yeojin stuck her tongue out at me, “Honestly I _don’t_ like it that much, if you want me to be real.” 

I’d expected that answer. I hadn’t expected the way it stung ever so slightly, but I swallowed it down. “Come on. Just get it together. We’ve gotta figure out where we’re going.” 

“You don’t have a map?” She raised an eyebrow, “What about that one of the mall?” 

“Yeah, it’s of the mall. Not the whole area, dumbass...” I finally shoved that door open, staring out at the torrential downpour out there and taking a long breath. Jesus. It was just straight up sheets of rain pummeling the ground, turning dirt into mud. And we had to walk in it. “Stay close. This rain is loud. I might not be able to hear you. Hang onto that knife, and--” 

“--Yeah yeah, blah blah, caution caution, I’m not stupid--” She took her first step out into the mud, only for her heel to catch on the uneven terrain and to stagger backward. I only just barely managed to catch her by her back and prop her upright, “--still not stupid!! It’s just slippery!” She insisted, needing to actually shout to be heard over the rain that’d already drenched her. 

“Yeojin, _wait_ \--” I reached forward, trying to latch onto her as she rushed ahead. She almost slipped and fell yet again, thankfully finding a patch of grass with more grip than the mud. Hell, I even stumbled a bit, from my haste of grabbing her. 

“--I’m fine! It’s kinda like an ice rink, look--” She did a small rush forward, skidding along the dirty mud on the heels of her sneakers, not caring when it splattered up against her calves. “Whooo! See? Yooo, Yerim would get such a kick outta this Jungeun--” 

“--will you just _focus_ for two seconds--” 

The both of us stopped still when we spotted something through the dense rain coming down the road. Headlights. A car. Oh my god. My heart was in my throat, beating out of my chest. What if it was the others? Haseul? Jinsol? Jiwoo? Vivi? Everybody? Were they okay? Was this them? Had they come looking for us? Holy shit. For a second, I couldn’t even breathe as I watched it getting closer, my hopes riding so high I didn’t know what to do with them. Yeojin stopped too. It was coming from the direction of the mall. It might be them. It just might. But it also might be more of those prisoners. We were in no state to deal with that. I had to be realistic. I had to keep us safe. I’d promised Haseul that I would. In reality, the chances of that truck belonging to anyone we knew were fucking slim. 

“Stay back, get away from the road Yeojin!” I shouted at her, shocked when she actually did take give herself more distance. Wow, had she actually listened to me? It wasn’t much, but I was still sort of stunned. 

The truck rode drove straight by. Didn’t even pause. I saw the driver just enough to realize it wasn’t anyone who mattered to us. At that point I was just grateful he didn’t whip out a gun and start shooting. He sped by, fast, the muffler of his shitty truck loud and sputtering. Loud Uh-oh. I squinted to see clearly through all of the rain, and I saw just what I was afraid of. Infected. A bunch of them. Must’ve been left over from the mall. They were chasing after that car, soaking wet and rabid. There were a lot of them. And there was no way they wouldn’t see us, if they hadn’t already.

We needed to run. This shack was too shanty, it wouldn’t hold against even just two of those fuckers pressing against the doors or windows, and there were a solid ten of them with us in their sights. Shit. I rushed ahead, doing my best not to slip, and snagged onto Yeojin’s arm - tugging her along with me as I broke into a full on sprint. Shockingly she didn’t protest, shutting up for once in her life. 

It was so hard to see clearly. My side ached from the sudden exertion: the painkillers hadn’t kicked in yet. The road was damn near fucking desolate. There wasn’t much at all along its edges, save for a few cars. Every time we passed one I threw one of its side doors open behind us, and actually did hear a few infected stumble over the new obstacles. I could only hope it’d buy us some time. 

Right when I was about to totally lose hope, I spotted something. I couldn’t tell what it was in the rain, and it didn’t really matter. All that mattered was that it had a sturdy looking door, and not too many easily accessible windows. I dragged Yeojin along, my heart beating out of my chest as I practically hurled her ahead of me - through those doors and straight inside. It was only after we’d gotten in that I processed it was some sort of shitty dive bar, complete with a tiny stage for whatever local performers wanted their five minutes of fame. Yeojin hovered awkwardly, turning to watch as I slammed those doors shut behind us - barely in time. One of them had shoved its hand through the crack, but its wrist got caught between the doors and it recoiled in pain. Too close. Too _fucking_ close.

“Yeojin!!” I shrieked at her as loudly as I could, pressing my full weight against the doors as a temporary barricade. The more of them piled on the other side, the more impossible this seemed. Shit. If only Hyunjin was here. We needed something else - something heavy. All I could spot nearby was a large wheeled speaker right on the edge of the stage. Their predatory, rabid growls on the other side of the door were so loud they nearly made my ears ring, “Get me the speaker!!” My muscles strained and ached terribly, but if I budged, they’d swarm us in an instant and we’d be done for. 

Something hit the back of my head. I flinched from unexpected pain, wondering if maybe we’d gotten ambushed by some stray survivor holing up in here, only to actually realize what it was that’d been thrown at me. It was Yeojin’s shoe. 

“ _Yeojin what the fuck?! I said the_ ** _SPEAKER_**.” I screamed at her, the tendons in my arms feeling close to just snapping from how hard I was pressing against the force of the infected. 

“I-I thought you said sneaker!!” Yeojin shouted back at me over my shoulder. 

“ _WHY THE FUCK WOULD I SAY SNEAKER?!!”_

“ _I DON’T KNOW WHY WOULD YOU??”_

_“I DIDN’T--”_ I felt the door physically creak, the flimsy metal of it denting when one of the infected on the other side slammed either its fist or its head against the material. We were making too much noise, on top of everything else. 

“FUCK! SORRY!!” Yeojin exclaimed, as if only now realizing the gravity of this situation. I did my very best to swallow my mounting rage. I had to save her ass before I could beat it. She frantically scrambled toward the **_speaker_** that I’d wanted the _entire time_ and rolled it off the slightly elevated platform stage toward me. Better late than fucking never. 

I grabbed it as soon as it was in reach and shoved it against the doors. It didn’t quite fit beneath the handles snugly enough to stop them from turning. Shit. Just our luck.

“That won’t hold--” I told her, desperately scanning the bar in a split second for escape routes or hiding spots or weapons, anything. 

“No shit it’s on fucking _wheels_ , genius!!” Yeojin countered. I barely even registered it. “What do we do?!?!” She slapped my arm to get my attention, as if I wasn’t literally doing anything besides charting out next course of action. 

There was no way out that I could see. At least not readily. We had no time. I was gonna have to get _real_ fucking creative and smart in about ten seconds - traits that I never would’ve really described myself as, but now I just didn’t have any other options. I’d have to learn to be resourceful and damned clever. Brute force wouldn’t work. By nothing short of a miracle, I came up with an idea. Whether or not it would work was another question, but I didn’t have the privilege of being able to troubleshoot it before testing it out.

I spun on my heel, pressing my added weight against the speaker, “Hide somewhere!! I’m gonna run - lead them back outside then try to gain some ground--”

“--Oh bitch you are _not_ gonna just fucking leave me in here all by myself, are you--” 

“-- _this is not a negotiation._ ” I told her in a tone so scarily firm that it wiped her Yeojin-look right off her face. “I’ll come back _in,_ barricade the door properly once I have more time. Now _hide_.” 

She swallowed hard, “A-And where the hell am I supposed to do that??” 

“Get up on that balcony, somewhere, and just stay _low_!” I yelled, feeling the wheels of the speaker slowly grinding across the floor as the infected gained more ground. No time. “ _Go!_ ” 

She listened. I watched as she rushed up a shanty staircase, clamored onto that balcony, and did a dolphin dive down to the floor. I couldn’t see her. That meant they couldn’t either. It was as safe as we were going to get. 

I burst away from the door, and as soon as I wasn’t pressing against it, the fuckers flooded straight inside. The wheeled speaker rolled forward, careening across the room. The next second they were inside, tripping over each other, heading for me. Time to see if my plan would actually work.

There was barely enough space in this cramped bar, but one of the advantages we had over these things was coordination. They sort of just plowed their way through things like rabid animals. I did my best to utilize that as I ran along the perimeter of the building - swerving around booths, knocking down chairs, even vaulting over the bar’s counter. It definitely slowed them down, but they were still on my tail. 

I rushed through the door they’d busted down and back outside, sprinting as fast as I could around the corner. They followed me. And they were close. My side was screaming at me in pain, all this exertion far from what it needed right now, but I didn’t have much choice. My plan was to just circle around, hopefully being faster than them so I’d have enough time to form a proper barricade on the door, but I was starting to wonder just how feasible of a plan that was. When they’d come through, they’d _really_ damaged that door, and aside from the speaker I hadn’t seen anything else that’d be a decent barricade. My mind started filling with images of me leading the whole group of them back inside the bar and having to do this all over again. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to manage it. But what the fuck else could I do? Fight them off? By myself - me versus at least eight, with only a knife? 

It didn’t seem like an option anymore, though, because just as I reached the front of the bar again after doing a full circle, my foot caught an uneven patch of mud and I fell straight on my face. Shit. 

_Get up. Get_ _up_. My survival instincts screamed at me, and my wounded, tired, blood-drained body managed to listen. I got to my hands and knees, trying to propel myself back to my feet, but there was a hand on my ankle. Shit. As if automatically, I spun back around and sliced desperately behind me with that knife - the blade thankfully sinking into a face that was drawing in closer to my exposed ankle. It wasn’t enough to kill it, but the infected recoiled and clutched at its cheeks, writhing in the mud. I got up. They were so close now. There was no way I could go through with my plan. But I couldn’t kill them all, either. 

One of them latched onto the back of me by the strap of my rifle and I nearly lost my footing all over again. I used the momentum to spin, swinging my knife blindly and landing a shallow cut on its chest. It started to spurt blood, and it paused from the pain. There were so many more. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t outrun them. I couldn’t fight them. Was this it? 

_“Hey fuckers!!!”_ A sudden voice pierced through the dense air, shouting loud enough to even be heard over the torrential rain. It was followed by someone laying on the horn of an obnoxiously loud car right on the nearby road. “ _Over here!!_ ” The driver shouted again, honking the horn two more times. 

The infected were drawn to him. Oh my god. He was saving my ass. I looked at the driver, squinting through the rain. It was the same guy who I’d bumped into outside of the security office in the mall. We locked eyes, and he shot me a small smile. Holy shit. I watched in awe as most of the infected rushed toward him, and he stepped on the gas just enough for them to give chase but not latch onto his car. 

“Good luck!!” I vaguely heard him call back out to me as he kept on honking that horn. He’d just saved my life. And for what? Just because...? I was so not used to strangers helping strangers, I barely knew how to respond.

The two infected still near me were the ones I’d already wounded. The one writhing on the mud had relatively recovered, though its face was drenched eerily in its own blood. The other was clamoring toward me but was having a hard time getting its footing. I charged it before it could manage, surging closer and slamming my blade deep into its forehead. It fell hard, splattering mud up and onto my legs. The other one rushed me too, but I staggered out of the way as best as I could. It moved to me again, and that time I let it, but when it got close I stabbed it straight where its heart should be. It stopped still, going limp, and I shoved it to the ground. Fuck. That was it. I looked after where the car had gone. The infected were still chasing it, having forgotten totally about me. I could still distantly hear the horn being honked. 

I took a few seconds to catch my breath. My side hurt like a bitch, I was covered in wet mud and blood, and a total stranger had just saved my life, all in a matter of a minute or so. God, I couldn’t keep up with all this. I tried to focus, tried to get it together, but honestly? A part of me almost wanted to cry. This was all just so much, all the time. It was even harder now than before, knowing that the others must’ve been going through this same chaos, and I wasn’t there to protect them. The only person I could keep safe was Yeojin. Which I planned on doing, but fuck, I just missed everyone. 

Yeojin. Right. Wiping a speck of mud from my cheek before the rain could, I headed back inside the bar. It seemed empty. I still couldn’t see Yeojin, wherever she was hiding. I took a deep breath in preparation for whatever nonsense she’d bust out, my head starting to throb prematurely. 

“Yeojin!” I called out weakly, not able to make my voice any louder. 

Her head popped up into view, “You alive?” I didn’t dignify that question with an answer, instead running my palm down my face slowly. She ungracefully clammored to her feet before rushing back down the steps, shutting the door behind me - as if I’d forget to do that if we were actually in any real danger. “What was all the honking?” 

Although her voice had that usual Yeojin tone that seemed to effortlessly downplay the severity of our situation, when I took a second to really look at her, my heart unexpectedly wrenched. She was soaked to the bone just like I was, but it made her tremble. There was a scrape on her knee that subtly bled, likely from when she’d fallen earlier. She kept sniffling, and I found myself worried she might get sick from all this exposure to harsh weather. I had to remind myself, over and over, she really was just a kid who didn’t know any better. That wasn’t an excuse, though: just a circumstance. 

“You can’t keep fucking doing this.” I told her firmly, making sure there wasn’t even a tinge of uncertainty in my voice that she could take advantage of. 

“Doing what?” She asked, perching atop a stool. 

“Acting like this is a fucking _joke_. It’s _not_. That could’ve gone so wrong, we could’ve died a hundred times over. It’s _not a joke_.” She needed to understand that. There were too many close calls, and her not taking things seriously would only open the door for even more danger. 

She frowned slightly, but it was hard to read her face, or to ever know whether or not she was joking. “I know it’s not.” She spun the stool around once. I felt my blood boiling. 

“Then stop fucking treating it like one and act like a fucking adult how about?!” I raised my voice, stepping closer, and she manually stopped the stool mid-spin so she could face me. Her expression was still hard for me to process. It was... sort of blank, I guess. 

“I... don’t mean to.” 

“What??” She’d mumbled that so quietly I almost didn’t hear, but I was also just so impossibly _frustrated_ and _sick_ of _everything_. Part of me was taking it out on her, but another part of me was trying to be as firm as I could so that she’d really take it to heart. She needed to. 

Her response to my harshness was to finally be harsh herself, though, and I hadn’t expected that. “It’s just how I cope with things, okay?!” She looked angry. Not necessarily at me. It’s hard to explain. “The humor helps me. If I tried to be all mature like you said I’d be so fucking scared all the time I couldn’t even move. Is that what you want?!” She was trying to act tough, to stand up to me and seem like she was really prepared for this and on top of things, but it was hard to buy it when you could see how hard she was shaking. She clung to the stool she sat on with white knuckles, her feet dangling just a bit off the floor from how short she was. 

“No.” My voice had lessened in intensity quite a bit. It made sense. I used humor as a coping mechanism too, but I knew when it was and wasn’t appropriate. I guess Yeojin couldn’t say the same. Sometimes it was easy to forget that she was likely just as terrified as everyone else, and it was sobering to be reminded. 

“Then let me make my stupid vine references, please.” She pleaded weakly, unable to meet my eyes anymore as she ducked her head. 

I sighed, crossing my arms, “Fine. Just... I’m doing my best, but I can’t keep you safe all the time. I’m not always gonna be there.” 

“I know.” She pouted subtly.

“Please be careful.” I took another step closer, considering resting my hand on her knee or something, but when I got in range she hopped from her stool and put distance between us. A bit bratty, but I let it slide. 

“Right. I know my sister would have your ass if there was so much as a scratch on me when we find her.” She said that dismissively, a tinge of spite in her voice. Like she knew this was more of an obligation to Haseul than out of the goodness of my own heart. It put a bad taste in my mouth, but I didn’t bother correcting her. 

“Exactly. Now c’mon, let’s look around this dump for a map.” 


	32. Collision

_**Hyejoo** _

When I woke up, Chaewon had managed to starfish her way out of our burrito - sprawled awkwardly on the other side of the bed with half of her hanging off the edge. She was deeply asleep, but I’d had a nightmare that was a bit too unsettlingly real to even try to sleep again. I sat up, gently removing her arm that was still draped across my chest. She didn’t even flinch. Before standing, I made sure to pull the blanket up to her chin and gently nudge her so she wouldn’t actually fall to the floor. Again, she didn’t flinch. She looked so... peaceful. Content. And as always, she was absolutely beautiful. 

Being as careful as I possibly could, I slowly crept out of the room and shut the door behind me. The house was utterly still, even silent besides the loud rain still falling outside. It pummeled against the roof and the windows. Thankfully there was no thunder. Thunder scared me. But the way that the wind audibly howled and made the trees creak and bend outside made me a bit nervous. 

Was anyone awake...? It was bright enough outside for me to think it was morning. I walked slowly toward the nearest door that I knew led to a bedroom, and pushed it open a crack. Haseul and Hyunjin were in the bed, and Hyunjin’s arms were wrapped around her middle from behind. Aww. I didn’t anticipate the warm fuzziness that consumed my heart from the sight of them hugging like that. They both needed the hugs. Hell, I guess we all did. I sure as hell wasn’t gonna wake them. I must’ve been the weird one for getting up so early. 

Or at least I thought so, until I heard a noise from downstairs. I grabbed my fireplace poker that I’d left propped against the hallway wall, just for good measure as I slowly came down the steps. The sound was coming from the kitchen. It was just a bit of muffled clattering, and although I knew an infected couldn’t have been that quiet, I was paranoid that it might be some sort of hostile person. Maybe one of those people from the mall. I was just so terrified of people we didn’t know. 

When I slowly, silently poked my head around the corner though, my fears were instantly alleviated. 

Jun, donned in a floral apron, was hunched over the stove, struggling to crack an egg open on the side of a frying pan. Oh. I knocked gently against the doorframe with my knuckle and he jumped slightly from surprise, turning to look at me. Why was he wearing an oven mitt just to make eggs...?“ Good morning!” He greeted me in a hushed whisper. I quietly stepped into the kitchen, noticing that he’d taken his shoes off so he’d make less noise. Good idea. He’d changed his shirt, too: wearing a black button-up now instead of that tight-fitting white t-shirt. 

“Good morning...” I mumbled, entertained just to watch him try to crack that egg again. There was an abundance of hollow shells next to the pan - likely failed attempts. 

“I’m uh, not too graceful with this...” He admitted, hitting the egg against the pan with way too much force. The shell crumbled, getting inside the sizzling pan which he then scooped out defeatedly with his oven mitt into a small pile on the counter. My goodness. 

“Stop.” I told him softly, stepping closer and nudging him aside. He let me, watching as I took an egg and dug my two thumbs into the center - pulling the shell apart from both sides. It fell to the pan and started to cook, the smell welcoming and familiar. He was hilariously awed by the incredibly simple action. 

“Oh! I never thought to do it like that...” He imitated my motions, a bit clumsily, but it was a success. “Do you want eggs?” 

I nodded, “Who’re you making them for...?” 

He shrugged with a toothy grin, “Whoever wants ‘em!” 

“Okay...” I told him, relatively disinterested as I walked to the other side of the kitchen - peering into the living room through the open archway. Jinsol was absolutely knocked out cold on a recliner, clutching weakly onto the army coat she wore, but Jiwoo was awake - sitting on the edge of the couch and staring down at her hands. My heart sank at the look on her face. “Good morning, Jiwoo.” I spoke up ever so slightly, just enough for her to hear. She tilted her head at me, but that was the only acknowledgement I got. Which was okay. I couldn’t even imagine what she was going through. We’d lost a lot yesterday, her maybe even the most, but I was honestly just glad she was still there. I moved, standing ever so slightly nearer but not wanting to be invasive if she didn’t want to talk. All I could think to do was ask a simple, quiet question. “Do you need a hug...?” 

For a few moments, she said nothing. My body stiffened, terribly worried that I’d accidentally crossed some sort of line. She sighed heavily before getting to her feet, and I tensed even further, starting to blurt out a series of apologies for the intrusion, “I’m sorry, I-I’ll just--” My words were cut off, because she walked straight toward me and simply rested her head right against my shoulder. “--O-Oh--” She didn’t wrap her arms around me, but just stood there, her breaths audibly uneven. I dared to reach up and finally hug her, feeling how much she was shaking and wishing I could help more somehow. She further burrowed her face into my shoulder, clinging onto the front of my new hoodie.

She inhaled sharply all of a sudden, wrenching her grip on me, “Thank you, Hyejoo-yah.” 

I nodded, “Y-Yeah... anytime, really. I’m always around for a hug.” Just for good measure I rubbed a soft circle against her upper back. 

She chuckled, which was sweet, but I didn’t like how tearful it sounded. “Okay.” Just as quickly as she’d approached, she pulled back, rubbing at her raw eye with a clenched fist. “You give good hugs...” 

For some reason the compliment made me blush, I was just... really flattered. A sheepish smile came to my face, “Ahh... if you say so.” 

Jun poked his head out from the kitchen, “Jiwoo? How many eggs do you want?” 

She sighed lightly, “Just one. Save some for the others...” Ironically, at the mentioning of the others, we heard gentle footsteps coming downstairs. They were so impossibly light and borderline inaudible that I knew it was Chaewon without even needing to look. She padded gently into the living room, making an adorable beeline straight toward me and settling her head in right beneath my chin - hugging my middle. I returned the gesture, a slight tightness in my chest alleviating once she was with me. Jiwoo smiled warmly at her, “She gives good hugs, huh?” 

  
“Right??” Chaewon didn’t hesitate to agree. I felt my blush deepen. After squeezing me for good measure, she let me go and skipped softly into the kitchen. I followed her, curious, only to get confused when I saw her rooting through the cabinets with clear purpose. 

“What’re you looking for?” Jun asked before I could, flipping a fried egg in the pan with an exaggerated, show-offy motion.

“Cat food.” Chae explained, just as she found some on a top shelf. She hoisted herself to actually stand atop the counter, and I rushed over to gently support her legs - not wanting her to fall from the height. She hopped back down, two cans in hand, and opened them up with her teensy fingers. My nose wrinkled from the smell. 

“Uhhh... Chaewon, you know I’m making breakfast right? Like, people-food breakfast?” Jun questioned softly. 

“I know! It’s just...” She trailed off, moving toward nearby bowls on the floor that I hadn’t noticed. The food grossly plopped down in an unsightly pile, “In case the pets come back... they’ll be hungry.” The sadness to her voice made my heart nearly break. The fact that she’d noticed those, presumably yesterday before we went to bed, was just so wholesome. I wasn’t sure why I was surprised, that was exactly the sort of thing she would do. She was so indescribably precious and sweet, it made my chest flutter with those same familiar butterflies. 

A sleepy Jinsol abruptly joined us in the kitchen, stretching her lanky limbs with a loud yawn. She walked over to the fridge and opened it like she’d lived here her entire life, bleary-eyed and slow moving. After a brief search, she shut the fridge with a dejected sigh, instead opting to look at the pictures on the door attached by magnets. She tugged one of them off and squinted at the people in it with a new curiosity. “Whoa.” 

“Hmm?” Jun hummed curiously at his sister, jutting his head into her space to see what she saw. 

“This is Donghyuck.” I wasn’t sure who that was, but she and Jun were visibly fazed. “This must be his house, holy shit.” She looked around at the other pictures, pointing at the same boy who was recurring in many of them. “I-I’ve gotta write him a note or something. What if he comes back?” She started rooting through drawers frantically, finally coming up with a post it note and scribbling something out on the page. We all silently watched as she stuck it to the fridge. I wondered if he’d find it.

But then it was like everything came crashing down on top of us, just as I’d started to get used to the relaxing domesticity of this scenario, it was gone. Like it’d never been there. There was a ground-shaking crash from outside, followed by a blaring noise that I instantly recognized as a car alarm. Oh no. That was so _loud_ , and it was somewhere nearby. Way too nearby. 

The house was awake and moving now. It was impossible to sleep through that. Hyunjin came barrelling straight down the stairs, fully awake, a drowsy Vivi and Haseul on her heels. They were in action, trying to organize us, get us to safety and out of this blaring noise that’d be a beacon to any infected even remotely in range. 

“Get your shit!!” Hyunjin called out to all of us, snagging a nearby backpack and sliding it on her shoulders, “Come _on_ , with me, outside!!” She was out the door. I didn’t want to dive into this again. I wanted to stay here, I wanted Jun to make everyone eggs, I wanted to offer hugs to the others who might need them but were too cautious to ask, since apparently I gave good ones. But there was no time for that. There was no time to breathe, there never was. Chaewon clung to my arm with white knuckles, not wanting to separate from me in whatever chaos was about to ensue. At least she was here. At the _very_ least, she was with me, and hanging on tight.

We all clammorred straight out the front door and back toward the van - climbing inside. It’d only been a short little run, but we were all soaked from the rain that’d whipped at our faces. I spotted where the noise was coming from. A tree had fallen down from the intense wind, and it’d crushed a car, destroying its hood and setting off its deafening alarm. Hyunjin hopped into the driver’s seat, already starting the engine and slamming her foot on the gas, but the car wasn’t budging. No no no, what was wrong?! The engine was on, so that wasn’t the problem. Why weren’t we moving?!

We could hear growls, even through the rain and the sirens. Shit. Shit shit shit. 

  
Jun - in the passenger’s seat and still shrugging his way out of his apron - poked his head out the window to investigate, “The wheels are stuck in the mud! We can’t get any traction!!”

“ _Well we need some fucking traction!!_ ” Hyunjin snapped at him, panic in her voice. 

  
Vivi tried with Haseul to frantically secure us as best as we could, despite there not being that many proper, safe seats in the back of this van, “Someone needs to push the car!! The wheels sank in the mud overnight from all this goddamned rain, it--” 

“-- _Just do it,_ we’re lucky they aren’t on us already!!” Haseul interrupted, not needing the elaborate explanation Vivi was likely to have given. 

She was right. We needed to get this car moving, and fast.

Hyunjin

Jun quickly scrambled out of the car after saying something to me, the alarm still blaring at the house right across the street making it hard to even hear him. I just hoped it didn’t matter that much. He disappeared behind the van, likely pushing hard against the back even in the torrential, relentless rain. The windshield wipers were on but useless, I was practically blind. 

“ _Try it!!”_ Jun’s strained voice shouted out. I slammed my foot hard on the gas a second time, Vivi climbing up and into the now available passenger’s seat. 

The car strained and groaned. We all collectively gasped when it lurched forward, relief nearly consuming us, only for our advance to stop just as soon as it’d started. Still stuck. Shit, we needed more leverage. I glanced in the rearview mirror. Jun was trying as hard as he could - his face red from the sheer effort he was exerting, but if the car’s wheels couldn’t get any traction, how the hell were we supposed to? We needed more force. That was all I could think of. Vivi wasn’t posing any other bright ideas, and she was the smartest of all of us. She had this... doomed look on her face, like she’d basically resigned herself to whatever was about to happen to us. My stomach lurched.

The infected were close now. It was impossible to ignore the growling. If this car didn’t move... shit, I didn’t even want to picture it in my head. But it was real. Once those infected realized that car alarm was nothing but noise, they’d spread out. They’d find us, probably immediately, we were so goddamn nearby. And we had no idea how many were gonna get drawn in, we had no idea how many were around that we just hadn’t seen or heard. This car needed to _move_. In sheer frustration I pounded my fist against the dash, in some desperate hope that we’d just _go_.

“H-He needs help!!” Jinsol suddenly exclaimed from the back of the van, moving to rush straight out the side door to her brother. Ah, _fuck_. 

* * *

_**Jinsol** _

Nobody stopped me, and I was glad for it. I threw the van’s door open and slammed it behind me, rushing toward the back where Jun was. He was dripping wet and I could feel my clothes getting soaked through too, but that didn’t matter. I pressed my full weight against the back of the van, only to slip and nearly fall altogether from how loose the mud at our feet was. Jun just barely caught me by the back of my shirt and tugged me back to my feet. I better anchored myself before trying again, inching the van forward by agonizingly small increments. 

Hyunjin popped up at my side all of a sudden, looking flustered and almost annoyed with me. I didn’t care. What, did they not think I was gonna help my _brother_ , and just watch him struggle until the fucking zombies were on him? Of course not. If he was going, so was I. 

Hyunjin squatted, gripping the car’s bumper and doing her best to lift it, sputtering from the effort but not giving up. Oh, I hadn’t thought of that. Once the tires were a bit raised from the dense mud, we could push with better leverage, and we actually budged the van way more. The engine revved again, someone else must’ve been in the driver’s seat now. When the wheels spun that time, the car surged forward, driving out onto the road from the sudden acceleration. Whoever was driving slammed on the breaks, waiting for us all to catch up. 

The infected were practically on us by then. The growling was so loud. I tried not to focus on it and let myself get scared. Now wasn’t the time. Hyunjin sprinted ahead, kicking Vivi back into the passenger’s seat and taking the wheel again. The back door was thrown open, Haseul gesturing frantically for Jun and I to get in. As soon as I was close enough I dove in headfirst, careening awkwardly against the hard metal of the van, hitting my head on one of the news monitors. Jun took it upon himself to slam that door, holding it that way for good measure. I hadn’t noticed just how close it’d been, but as soon as it was closed, we heard that signature sound of infected fists pounding against it rabidly. Fuck. 

“ _Drive!!_ ” Vivi shouted out, jumping back when an infected slammed its forehead against her window and left a small crack in the glass. Hyunjin didn’t hesitate a single moment more, pushing the gas pedal down to the floor and speeding off down that road so fast the tires screeched. 

For a few moments, nobody said anything, all of us just catching our breath as the sound of that car alarm and those growls got more and more distant. They were gone. We’d gotten out, somehow, and we were all okay. I hadn’t even realized it, but Haseul’s arms had wrapped around me from behind when I’d jumped into the van. My adrenaline had been pumping too hard, but once it started to die down I felt the way her head rested against my shoulder blade and how her trembling hands balled up fistfuls of Jungeun’s jacket I wore. Oh. Instinctively I leaned into the contact, my heart still beating out of my chest. 

Hyunjin sighed in frustration, the first to speak, “Jinsol, you’ve _gotta_ stop that.” 

I looked toward her, resting my hands gently atop Haseul’s. As soon as I did, she intertwined our fingers together. She was being awfully clingy but I wasn’t complaining. “Stop what?”

Hyunjin scoffed, “Fucking _diving_ into shit that could kill you!!”

Hyejoo pulled her legs up to her chest, tucked away in the corner of the van, but mumbled something, “You act like you have god mode on or something...” I didn’t understand what that meant but it had negative connotations. Chaewon nodded as if to second the sentiment. 

“I’m... what was I supposed to do? Leave Jun out there all by himself?” I spoke up, doing my best not to sound as defensive as I secretly felt. 

Jun cleared his throat, “I-I could’ve handled--”

“--shut up.” I didn’t let him finish, and he didn’t try to. “He’s my brother, and he needed help. I would’ve done the same thing for any of you. We help each other, right?” 

Vivi sighed, taking off her glasses and nervously cleaning them. “Yes, of course we do. But sometimes we need to stop and think things through before acting. That could’ve gone much worse than it did.” 

“ _Everything_ ‘can’ go worse. If we let that stop us from doing shit or stepping up, a lot of us would probably be dead by now.” My tone was surprisingly steady, when in all honesty I wasn’t sure if what I was saying made me sound stupid. 

The van got quiet again. Haseul’s grip on me wordlessly tightened, and although it was a subtle motion, I think I felt her gently kiss my shoulder. I would’ve blushed if the air hadn’t been so tense. Vivi didn’t retort, just kept wordlessly wiping nonexistent smudges from her glasses’ lenses before slipping them back onto her face. Hyunjin drummed her fingers against the wheel, letting out another long sigh. 

“I-I think it’s brave.” Chaewon spoke up all of a sudden, her tiny voice adorably breaking the silence. Everyone turned to look at her (besides Hyunjin, who was obviously driving and struggling to navigate in the rain), and her cheeks lit with a blush from all the eyes. She nervously glanced at everyone for a moment before turning to stare right at me, “U-Um... Jinsol, I think you’re really brave.” 

I wasn’t sure if “brave” was the right word. I was still scared shitless when I did stuff like that, but I was even more scared of the thought of losing any of these people - of losing _Jun_ \- so much so that it outweighed my own fear. I guess if I was being realistic, I should factor in self-preservation more, but it just... I dunno, it was never at the forefront of my mind when things were intense like that. Which was just how I was, I guess, you couldn’t really change it. 

Jiwoo had been dead silent this entire time, but finally mumbled something so quiet I almost didn’t hear, “It’s okay as long as you’re careful. And you still have to think of yourself.” I felt Haseul nod against me in agreement.

“Yeah. I’m not saying you don’t have balls of steel, Jinsol, I’m just worried it’ll get you killed.” Hyunjin explained, meeting my eyes in the rearview mirror, “Don’t mean to get sappy, but I actually don’t want you to die.” 

There was a collective murmur of agreement from the rest of the van, seconding that. I smiled sheepishly, rolling my eyes slightly at the flippant wording, “Wow, I feel so loved.” 

“We do love you.” Vivi didn’t hesitate to interject, her tone dead serious. My heart swelled, not expecting her to turn around and look at me with warm brown eyes either. 

Jiwoo reached forward and gently rested her hand on my knee, “We all love you. So we just worry.” 

I literally couldn’t believe that these girls were making my chest feel this light and airy after I’d nearly died moments before. That terrifying experience seemed like a distant memory now. The warmth that was blasting from the van’s heating system only made this entire interaction somehow even more wholesome and surreal. 

“I love you guys too. And I’ll try not to die.” 

* * *

  
  


**_Haseul_ **

There was no way Hyunjin could see. It just didn’t make sense, not in this storm. She was going relatively slow just to be safe, but my nerves were biting at me. I still hadn’t released my grip on Jinsol, and she hadn’t made any indications that she wanted me to. It’s hard to explain, but it was as if my mind thought that if I let her go, she’d just plunge herself into some sort of danger again. I couldn’t handle that. Not so soon. 

In this storm, though? I felt far from safe. We kept subtly hydroplaning if she ever stopped or put her foot on the brake, and the car would swerve ever so slightly until she got a grip on it. She expertly kept her face devoid of any emotion when that happened. She didn’t want to stress us. But I noticed. And I was tense. 

We drove for a long time, just content to be in the silence and try to dry ourselves off by blasting the heat. The rain wasn’t letting up in the slightest, if anything it was getting worse. Jun did his best to try and navigate through scarce landmarks he spotted out the window, holding the unfolded map as he squatted awkwardly between the front and passenger’s seat. There wasn’t much discussion, which made me assume that we were semi-going the right way. I didn’t let myself worry about it. I was too tired to worry about that on top of everything else. 

Jinsol spoke up, trying cautiously to be optimistic. That’s what Yerim was for. I missed her. “With this car, we can get to the coast in no time, right guys?” 

Hyejoo groaned under her breath, “You literally just jinxed us.” 

Jinsol balked at the suggestion, taking the superstition as a serious threat, “What?! Fuck, I didn’t mean to--” 

“--For real Jindorrie, why would you say something like that, you’re just tempting fate.” Jun scolded her, a more sarcastic tinge to his voice than there had been to Hyejoo’s. Jinsol reached over and slapped his shoulder which he chuckled at, before returning to his position as assistant navigator. 

Vivi sighed, unaffected by all the banter, “To answer your actual question, Jinsol: yes, we’ll get there sooner. If it wasn’t for this storm, we’d probably get there by tomorrow.” She leaned over slightly to look at the speedometer, “This van has a fair amount of gas in it. In theory we don’t even have to stop.” 

Hyejoo clapped her hands once, startling all of us, “Stop _jinxing_ us.” I couldn’t quite tell if she was joking or not. It didn’t seem like it. 

Vivi adjusted her glasses, “Oh please, Hyejoo. Pretty sure superstitions are the least of our worries. We should be scared of threats we can actually see, things that’re--”

“--what’s that?” Jiwoo spoke up all of a sudden, pointing her hand down the road. 

We all clammored clumsily to look at what she’d indicated, and I felt my heart drop. Headlights. On the road. Coming toward us. No, not more people. _Please,_ not more people. The air seemed to get sucked straight out of the car. I think we all wordlessly shared the same sentiment and fear of strangers. What were we supposed to do? What _should_ we do? It was getting closer, obviously, but it was a still ways off.

“Hyunjin, pull over.” Vivi spoke firmly, not even an ounce of uncertainty in her voice. 

Hyunjin shook her head, but did adjust our car slightly to be more on the edge of the road. “No. I’m just gonna stay on my side. It’s a wide road, there’s plenty of room to go around...” She said that, but her tone was hard to read. She stared dead ahead, squinting, the windshield wipers frantically doing their best to clear her obstructed view. It was almost impossible. The only reason we’d spotted that car was from its headlights cutting a path through the downpour. “He’ll pass.” She tried to sound confident. I knew she wasn’t, from the way she gripped the wheel with white knuckles. I think she was just too paranoid to even try to pull over - we couldn’t see anything and that might get us into an accident or put us in mud or some other predicament.

The headlights swerved slightly in the road. Oh. I felt myself and Jinsol both tense at the sight. They swerved only for a second before getting back on track, but they’d come straight into our lane during the fumble. That was unsettling. 

“He’s playing chicken with you.” Jun spoke up, setting the map down on the floor and clutching his pistol. What the fuck was he gonna do, shoot the guy in a moving vehicle??

Jinsol scoffed, “No he’s not!!” For the first time, she actually shrugged her way out of my grip. It felt colder without her there, but I let her go. She moved closer to the front, leaning toward the windshield to get a better look. The car subtly swerved again. “Something’s going on in his car! He can’t drive right!” The car swerved again. It was too close for comfort. We were coming right up to it. Was Jinsol right? What had she seen?? 

It was too risky. We only had a few seconds to spare. My chest was so tight I couldn’t breathe. “ _Hyunjin, pull ov_ \--” I tried to insist. Tried to speak up, persuade her. 

But the car swerved again, and slammed straight against our van.

* * *

_**Hyunjin** _

The first thing I felt was just _pain_. A sort of all over pain at first that I couldn’t pinpoint, until the worst of it settled on my face, shoulder and ankle. A partially deflated airbag pressed against my chest. I blinked myself awake, but what I was seeing didn’t make sense. The windshield was shattered, and I was dangling upside down. 

  
We’d crashed. That other car had slammed against us - at first hitting our front and then scraping hard against our side. Glass shards had sliced my face all to shit, I could feel what must’ve been blood on it and the chilling breeze that blew through the now open space the windshield had been made the fresh wounds sting. Shit. Fuck, shit, _ow_. 

I unbuckled my seatbelt without much thinking, only to fall clumsily and painfully on my neck at an odd angle. Fucking _ouch_. I winced audibly from the pain. My ears were ringing. The crash itself had been so _loud_. How long had I been out for? Was everyone okay? I tried to look around, my neck still aching. Vivi was in the passenger’s seat, dangling, out cold. I couldn’t properly look in the back, which made my chest so tight I almost couldn’t breathe. Jun was still at my side, and I don’t think I’d ever been more thankful in my life to see him slowly coming to. He hadn’t had a seatbelt on but he didn’t look that much worse for wear somehow, thank god. His face was also sliced up a bit from the windshield.

“Hyun...jin?” He blinked unevenly to awareness, groaning as soon as he moved so much as an inch. “Ahhhh... fuuck.” 

I tried my door’s handle. It didn’t budge. When I tried to shift my legs, they wouldn’t move either. One of my feet was partially beneath something, and my ankle practically screamed in pain from the motion. Jesus Christ. This was gonna be unpleasant as all hell, but we needed to get out. 

“My door won’t open.” I told him firmly and steadily, wanting him to understand despite the disorientation. I tried to crane my head around and look to the back again, but I still couldn’t manage it. “Is everyone okay?!” I raised my voice and got no response. My blood ran cold. 

Jun turned himself so he didn’t lie on his back anymore, looking at me, “You’re bleeding.” 

I grunted from the effort and pain I endured as I tried to maneuver myself properly, “No shit. Come on-- _ah_ \--” I couldn’t prevent the damn near yelp that left me when I forced myself to pull my ankle from where it had been pinned. Something ripped down into my flesh, something sharp. I bit my lower lip, tears stinging my eyes from the sheer agony. “Fffff _uuuck_.” I whispered out, clenching my entire body. I could feel a warmth that I knew must’ve been blood trailing along my leg. 

“Shit, you’re really hurt. Hold on.” He looked messed up too, but didn’t hesitate to army crawl his way across the broken glass to climb out through the windshield. Once he was on the road, he spun around and extended his hand to me. I clasped it, but he hesitated, “Can I pull you? Will you be okay?” That was a good question. I wasn’t sure of the answer, honestly. My ankle might tear even further, but did I really have much choice? It was like ripping off a bandaid. Sort of. Just way way way more painful. Fuck it. I nodded at him. “Alright. Deep breaths, yeah?” He told me in a gentle voice before yanking hard on my hand. 

Whatever was digging into my ankle tore at the wound and I couldn’t help but cry out, but it was only for a second. An incredibly painful, _terrible_ fucking second, but it was done. Jun pulled me out the rest of the way, and before I knew it I was staring up at the cloudy sky, the rain washing the fresh blood from my face and making my various cuts sting. 

“Your ankle,” Jun informed me, as if I didn’t know. “There’s a cut. A piece of metal or something, maybe glass from the windshield, I dunno. Here. Breathe, okay?” I nodded at him, startled by his surprisingly reassuring bedside manner as he took my machete and sawed off a piece of his new shirt’s sleeve. He glanced at me before tying it tightly around the wound to apply necessary pressure, but it hurt so terribly I almost instinctively punched him straight in the head. He flinched back when I grimaced, as if preparing for it, but I restrained the urge. 

Vivi was waking up. My yell had probably done it. Her head lolled on her neck, and I saw the same slow realization dawn on her face as the situation’s reality sank in. Now that I was outside, I could see the totality of the aftermath. Our van was totally fucked. Half of the front grill had been crumpled up like a piece of paper where the other car made impact. Speaking of the other car, it was even worse off. It’d slammed against a telephone pole after spiralling away from the collision, and smoke came from its hood in dark, toxic-smelling fumes. I realized the body in the passenger’s seat belonged to an infected. Oh. That explained all the swerving, then. 

“Help Vivi,” I told Jun as I slowly sat up. Yep, my ankle was definitely fucked. I wondered if I’d be able to put any weight on it, but it wasn’t really an option - I _had_ to put weight on it for so many things: running, fighting, helping people. I hadn’t seen how deep the gash was, but it sure as shit _felt_ deep. Jun just did as I said, moving to gently tug Vivi from the wreckage and out the open windshield like he had with me. She was small enough so he could literally lift the disoriented scientist into his arms, carrying her out of the way and setting her down on the side of the road. She was semi-awake, just really out of it. I couldn’t blame her. 

I got to my feet. It was hard, and it fucking hurt, but I could stand. Good. That actually could’ve gone worse. For all I knew, I could’ve lost my fucking foot. My ankle pain didn’t matter, though. What mattered were the girls still inside this damned flipped van. 

Jun and I wordlessly moved toward the double back doors, both equally frantic and rushed. I got there first and desperately tugged at the handles, but they wouldn’t budge. Ugh. What the fuck?? It felt like they were locked, somehow. No, please. We had to go. That crash had been nearly deafening to me, so who was to say it hadn’t drawn infected too? 

Literally just as the thought came to mind, there was an ominous creaking from over our shoulders. The telephone pole the other car had slammed against slowly but surely started to tilt, connective wires snapping as it fell. Jun and I couldn’t really do anything besides watch as it toppled over - slamming hard straight against the top of our van’s hood. Holy shit. If we hadn’t gotten out when we had, that might’ve crushed us to stumps. Fuck. If the actual collision wouldn’t draw infected, the sound of that fucking pole would. It sounded like a gunshot. 

“W-Wait, you two!!” Vivi’s voice called out from where Jun had set her down. She didn’t make any motions to get up, but looked visibly conflicted, “Careful!! Either of those cars might explode!” 

Jun and I both flinched from surprise, “ _Explode?!_ ” He called back, probably thinking he’d misheard her. 

“If the fuel tanks or the fuel lines are ruptured it can come in contact with the heat of the engine and it’ll--”

“ _EXPLODE??!”_ Jun shouted, not needing the explanation. 

“ _Yes!!_ ” She confirmed what we needed to know. It felt like I couldn’t even breathe, my heart was in my fucking throat. 

“All the more reason to get them the fuck out, then!!” I shouted back, my voice unstable and quaking despite my feeble efforts to make it sound strong. This was all too much. The heavy rain stung at the cuts I knew were on my face, my ankle was screaming in agony from being stood on, and all I wanted was to get these girls out of a fucking _explosion radius_. This world was relentless and I wasn’t sure how much more of it I could take. Not to even mention the thought of Heejin dealing with shit like this on her own, without me. I didn’t let my mind go there, not now. We had much more pressing, present issues to suffer through.

All I could think to do was try to break the lock with my machete, maybe even just force the doors open manually. We had no time. Not only were infected bound to show up, but now we had to worry about something potentially blowing up. I almost couldn’t handle it all. Jun noticed in the way that my hands trembled when I jammed the blade between the cracks in those doors. 

“You sure you’re okay? Want me to--” Jun stepped slightly forward, trying to be steady, but honestly he sounded terrified. I couldn’t blame him at all, his sister was somewhere in here. 

“--No. I... _got_ it--” I grunted when I wrenched the blade upward and slightly sideways. The blade snapped off the hilt from the force. Shit. But something had clicked. It was a faint noise, but I’d heard it. My breath got caught in my throat and I held it there, dropping the broken machete to the ground and gripping both doors. When I tugged again, only one of them budged, but that was more than enough. I threw it open. 

The girls were all there, sprawled out on the floor - or I guess the ceiling - of the van. It was an absolute disaster back here. Shattered glass was all around, not to mention more blood than I ever wanted to see when it came to these sweet people. No no, oh no. There was movement. I’d never been happier in my life to just see _movement_. It was Jiwoo. She slowly stirred, but as soon as she did she whimpered. Fuck. She was hurt. 

“Jiwoo! Hey, h-hey, sweetie, we’re right here!” I spoke to her softly. There wasn’t much distance between us, but it felt like miles. The other girls laid between us. From what I could tell, they were all unconscious, but at least some of them stirred. It felt like I couldn’t breathe. Chaewon was absolutely out cold. Some of the news monitors that had been lining the sides of the van had fallen from the collision, their wires severed and sparking every now and then. 

“Ah-- _ow_ \--” She whimpered again. It was too dark to properly see her face. 

“What is it-- where are you hurt honey?” I spoke softly, taking a quick step inside as I ducked my head. Jun caught my arm before I could get any further and I wasn’t sure why, but I let him hold me still. 

Jiwoo turned on her side, clutching at her chest with shaking hands, “M-My, m-my chest _h-hurts_ \--” She let out a faint sob that made my heart absolutely wrench. She sounded like she was in serious pain. My protectiveness felt like it was eating me alive, and I stepped forward, but Jun held me still. 

“It’s okay! I-It’s okay, we’re gonna get you out alright?!” I shouted out again, sort of hoping that my raised voice would be enough to wake the others too. I looked at the rest of them. Hyejoo and Haseul were slowly moving, the former sitting up slowly and looking around. Haseul sharply winced. Okay, people were here, and they were waking up. Thank god, thank _god_. Haseul and Hyejoo were closer than Jiwoo was, but they seemed to be in less visible pain. 

Jun tugged on me weakly, “Wait! Those wires... we’re soaking wet, Hyunjin. We have to be careful.” 

Shit. I hadn’t even thought of that. He was right, we were dripping with rainwater and those wires were spurting sparks. But we had to get the girls out. Goddamn it. Jun stepped forward again, “I’m gonna grab Jinsol. Just don’t step on any wires.” His eyes were wide from panic and haste as he brushed gently past me, hunching over to fit. 

Before I could head inside as well, I noticed Hyejoo stirring, even sitting up completely. “Guys...?” She sounded so scared. I wished I could’ve prevented this. I _hated_ hearing her sound that way. Her lip was split, her chin coated in blood. 

“Hey! Hey, hey,” Jun spoke to her in an impossibly calming voice, stepping cautiously over a fallen monitor and gently guiding Hyejoo upright. “Shh, hey,” I could hear how panicked her audible breathing was. It was like back in the mall, when she’d lost her shit when Chaewon went through that vent. Jun pointed toward me, “Go to Hyunjin, alright? She’s right there.” She nodded weakly, stepping over cautiously. 

I took her in my arms as soon as she was in reach. Thank _god_. She was stiff and trembling, not responding to the contact at all. “Are you hurt?! Are you okay, Hyejoo, talk to me, c’mon--” 

“--Chae--” She shrugged my grip off her, turning back to that mess of a van, “Chae, Chae i-is she--?”

“She’s in the van.” I told her softly, “But please, see Vivi, over there?” I pointed to the scientist, manually turning the girl’s body to face her, “Go stay by her, okay?” 

“What? N-No, I--”

“Hyejoo, please. Jun and I will get everyone out, just please go over there where it’s safe.” I brushed some of the blood from her chin. “It’s not safe here. The cars might explode--” 

“- _-what?!_ ” At that information she literally tried to dive back inside the van, but I wouldn’t let her, hanging on tight. 

“-- _I know_. I’ll get them out, it’s fine, but I _don’t want you over here_.” I insisted firmly, leaving no room for negotiation or debate in my tone. It’s what she needed to hear. She was already borderline hysterical, and if I left any room for discussion she’d take advantage of that. “ _Go. To. Vivi._ ” I stared dead at her, and she stared right back. 

She listened. Taking a deep breath, she turned and ran over to the awaiting scientist, who I could only hope would comfort her enough so she wouldn’t break into shards. Jun had lifted Jinsol carefully into his arms and was delicately stepping back toward the doors. She was knocked out. Alright, I needed to help. And fast. 

Chae was unconscious - not even remotely stirring. From the way she was laying, it looked like one of those monitors had struck her hard in the head when it detached from the wall. At that point, I was just glad to see that she was breathing. Taking careful steps over the loose, sparking wires, I cautiously re-entered the van, stooped over so I wouldn’t hit my head. Haseul moved slightly when I passed by, but still wasn’t fully awake or aware. I nearly said something to her, but was too focused on getting in and out as quickly as possible. I hadn’t forgotten we had a time limit here. It must’ve only been a few minutes since the crash, and they’d already been some of the most stressful of my entire life. 

Chae was exceptionally light when I lifted her gently into my arms, but her body was dead weight. God. She was seriously knocked _out_. There was a small cut on her forehead, and you could already tell a bitch of a bruise was forming on the whole side of her face. My chest ached seeing it - seeing a girl as small and precious as Chaewon with such a notable injury. Hyejoo wasn’t gonna be happy. But at least Chae was _alive_. 

I cautiously stepped back toward the exit, not at all liking the small puddles I could see forming wherever Jun and I had stepped. They were pooling and shifting, trails of the water getting uncomfortably close to those wires. Fuck. I could still vaguely hear Jiwoo writhing and whimpering. I held my breath. 

“It’s alright, everything’s gonna be fine, everybody, just hang in there...” I spoke up gently, making my voice as soothing as possible to the point that it really sounded like I was lying to them. I just hoped it’d help, at least a little. That’s all I wanted to do. 

Jun popped into view at the back door all of a sudden, rushed and out of breath. He extended his arms to me, to put Chaewon into them, and I didn’t hesitate to. Once he held her he rushed off and away again, to get her to safety. It was a good plan, but it left only me to help the others. I could do that. I wanted to do that. I was just so scared about _time_. It might’ve been my imagination but I could’ve sworn I saw the start of a fire beneath the front hood where that telephone pole had struck.

There was no time. I needed to get both of them out of this death trap of a van _now_. If I had to, I could carry them both at once. It somehow felt like all my years of athletic training had just been for this - to get these two safe and out of harm’s way. Taking a breath to hype myself up and gritting my teeth through the persistent pain in my ankle, I rushed to Haseul and gently shook her shoulder. Her lidded eyes blinked open, visibly dazed and confused. She had some minor cuts and bruises but besides those I couldn’t see much wrong with her. Thank god. 

“Haseul, hang onto me okay? We have to get out.” I told her, not caring if those were the first words she heard after waking up. She needed to hear them. I couldn’t coddle her, no matter how much I wanted to. Instead, I moved to sling her arms around my neck from behind. “Come on, you’ve gotta work with me.” Her body was still slightly limp. 

After only one more lingering moment, I felt her stiffen into awareness and wrap her legs firmly around my waist. Thank fucking god. She mumbled something I couldn’t understand right into my ear, but I didn’t care and I could barely hear it - my heart was beating so fucking fast.   
  


I delicately stepped over those goddamn wires again, the puddles bigger now. I was still dripping wet, and the rain relentlessly pummeling against the hood of the van was far from comforting ambience for this whole thing. Jiwoo writhed, tears streaming down her cheeks from the pain she must’ve been enduring. My heart ached so terribly for her. 

As soon as I knelt at her side, she reached to clutch my arm with white knuckles, meeting my eyes, “H-Help--” 

A lump formed in my throat from the desperate plea, “--I will, I’ve gotcha, c’mere honey, I’m getting you out.” I reached to gently inch my arms beneath her, but when I lifted her up she cried out softly. I froze mid-motion, not wanting to hurt her in the slightest, but I needed to carry her like this. There was no other way to do it. Damn it I wished we had a stretcher or something. I also wished we hadn’t crashed our van. I wished a lot of things. “I’m sorry, I-I’ll try to be careful okay?” She hid her face against my chest but nodded weakly. She was being very mature about this. She knew I didn’t want to hurt her but that we needed to get out. I was proud of her, and I knew Jungeun and Sooyoung would’ve been too. 

There was no time. Now I could really hear that fire crackling beneath the hood. The rain was nearly deafening, but I thought I heard Vivi distantly shouting something down the road, which couldn’t mean anything good. My chest was so tight I couldn’t even breathe, but I had both the girls with me. Haseul mumbled something else, slightly more coherent than before. 

“I-I can walk.” She muttered weakly. I trusted that, but ignored it - too focused on stepping delicately and quietly as I moved through this wreckage. I damn near tripped over a wire’s cord that I hadn’t seen, but caught myself mid-stumble. Jiwoo sobbed weakly from the sudden jolting motion and I let out a profuse string of apologies. She just wrenched her tight grip on my shirt. The near-trip had _not_ been good for my ankle, though. Shit. It felt like it might give out. It hurt _so_ fucking bad, I wondered if I’d torn a tendon open or something and just prayed I could make it back to the others without collapsing. 

I stepped outside into that rain and let out a slight breath of relief, but knew we were far from out of the woods. All I could do was limp now, and even that hurt so terribly I almost broke down. It didn’t matter. I had to get these two to safety, I just _had_ to. 

Vivi’s shouting was more audible now. It made my heart practically stop. “ _You guys!! Get out of there, the fire under the hood means it could combust any second you have to get--_ ” She kept on rambling those same few things, clearly distraught but torn between running over to help. Hyejoo was fretting endlessly over Chaewon, who Jun had only just deposited to the ground, and Jinsol was still out cold. 

Haseul started to squirm all of a sudden, and I felt her legs unhook themselves from me. She was trying to get down. “I can walk.” She insisted more firmly. 

I grimaced, “Can you _run_?” I didn’t have much say in the matter, but was startled when she fully removed herself from me and walked into my line of sight. 

“Your ankle--” 

“-- _Run._ ” I told her firmly, without hesitation. Her eyes were panicked, and I knew she wanted to stay and help somehow, but was aware she couldn’t. At least not effectively. She turned and did as I said, rushing over to the others a fair distance away. Jun ran to help me. He was going as fast as he could, but I wondered if it was fast enough. Jiwoo kept whimpering and sniffling against me. 

A sudden jolt of unbearable pain struck at my ankle and I simply couldn’t stand anymore, but didn’t let myself fall. Instead I collapsed to my knees, pursing my lips and clenching my eyes shut. I had to move. I had to, but my ankle felt like it was on fire and splitting apart all at once. 

“Jiwoo, c-can you walk?” I asked her gently. It was impossible to keep the fear from my voice. Vivi was still shrieking at us, seeming like she was impossibly far from me. I glanced over my shoulder at the van. It was still uncomfortably close. 

She shook her head. Fuck. 

“Can you please try...?” I watched with bated breath as Jun got closer and closer, sprinting like an absolute madman. 

  
Shockingly, she started to move. I supported her gently, guiding her along the way. She staggered weakly to her feet, still hunched over and trembling, but standing up. Okay. That was a start. She looked back at me, her cheeks tear-stained and her face contorted in visible pain, but she wanted to help. There was no way she could carry me, no way she could contribute much at all. 

“Go to the others.” I told her gently, trying again to get to my feet but it just hurt too terribly. She took a step back, hesitating. “Go on, I’ll be just a sec.” 

“You’re h-hurt.” She squeaked out, her voice small and scared. 

I shook my head, needing her to move and get away and not caring if that meant lying for her benefit. “I just need a second. Go.” 

I wasn’t sure if I was convincing, or if she just didn’t know what else to do, but she hobbled off and away, keeping a steady enough pace that I felt she was safe. Jun was still running for me. Vivi was still shouting. Haseul and Hyejoo looked on in horror, helplessly. I tried to get to my feet again, just barely managing it that time, only to almost collapse outright when I tried to put even remote pressure on my ankle. _Fuck_ that _hurt_. 

I couldn’t get up. I couldn’t get away in time. All I could think to do was lay down flat on the road, put my hands over the back of my head, and brace myself. 

Then it blew up.

**Author's Note:**

> you can also follow my twitter for writing updates and the like, https://twitter.com/loonagarbage


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